Speaker 1: A lesson we can all learn from Dolly. It's one
Speaker 1: more thing. Armstrong and Getty. One more thing. I got
Speaker 1: a theory lifestyle thing I've been wanting to discuss anyway,
Speaker 1: and it fits in perfect with the passing of Dolly Parton.
Speaker 1: Something I've been thinking about for a couple of days
Speaker 1: might be one of the keys to her success. But
Speaker 1: before we get to that conversation about how to live
Speaker 1: your life, Dolly Parton was a regular guest on The
Speaker 1: Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. They had a particularly good rapport,
Speaker 1: so it was always a good one. She'd show up
Speaker 1: on there. I remember watching it as a kid. This
Speaker 1: is kind of a classic clip here.
Speaker 2: What's the song you said you made up?
Speaker 3: Well, I wrote this song because it's been real good
Speaker 3: for me ever since I started on your show. And
Speaker 3: you said one time, once I got to be real famous,
Speaker 3: I probably wouldn't come back on the show.
Speaker 2: But I always will. I'm here about as much as
Speaker 2: you are.
Speaker 1: Good friends can say that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, that's what I mean.
Speaker 3: We can say anything. But I was only kidding because
Speaker 3: everybody kid you about it.
Speaker 2: I only like the show.
Speaker 3: Well, I think other people do a good job, but
Speaker 3: I only really like to watch it when you're on.
Speaker 3: And I don't call it The Tonight Show.
Speaker 2: To me, it's The Johnny Carson Show.
Speaker 4: You're saying all the right things.
Speaker 5: No, I'm serious.
Speaker 2: So.
Speaker 1: You want me to roll that point?
Speaker 2: No, I'm going to kick it a little. As good
Speaker 2: as I can with this nail.
Speaker 3: But it's all in the words, and it's, you know,
Speaker 3: I think it is.
Speaker 1: Now, it's not supposed to be too serious, so.
Speaker 2: I have come a long way from the hills of
Speaker 2: Tennessee And I've worked hard to make the folks back
Speaker 2: home real proud of me Now everybody knows my name.
Speaker 1: No matter where I go.
Speaker 2: But I never really made it until the Johnny Carson
Speaker 2: Show I have dreamed of stardom since I was just
Speaker 2: a kid. A million dollar dream beneath this $ 13 wig.
Speaker 2: In my bell-bottom jumpsuits with my rhinestones all aglow, I
Speaker 2: became an overnight success from the Johnny Carson show. From
Speaker 2: polyester paradise to silk and satin frills. From a 48-foot
Speaker 2: mobile home to a mansion on the hill. From moonshine
Speaker 2: to rare wine, from a packard to a rose. But
Speaker 2: I never really made it till the Johnny Carson show. Now,
Speaker 2: there's only one small problem. Sometimes I get disturbed. The
Speaker 2: folks sometimes get me confused with Monty Rock III. But still,
Speaker 2: I think it's worth it. And I just thought you
Speaker 2: should know that I'll always owe a special thanks to
Speaker 2: the Johnny Carson Show. I went from pop beads to diamonds,
Speaker 2: from car coats to fur, from Kmart to Gucci's, from
Speaker 2: here no telling where, from hillbilly heaven to a penthouse
Speaker 2: on the coast, but I never really made it till
Speaker 2: the Johnny Carson show.
Speaker 1: From whatever to Gucci there, yeah. So here's what I
Speaker 1: was thinking about with trying to figure out why Dolly
Speaker 1: Parton is so beloved. Since her passing yesterday, as we
Speaker 1: mentioned many times on the radio show, everybody from, I mean, musically,
Speaker 1: from Metallica to Every Country Act to just Eminem and
Speaker 1: Heavy D and rappers and just everybody like putting out
Speaker 1: a tweet of how much you're going to miss Dolly Parton.
Speaker 2: What is it?
Speaker 1: And then politicians and governments from around the world, just
Speaker 1: all this different sort of stuff. But I was wondering about,
Speaker 1: I don't remember where I came across this the other day.
Speaker 2: Hmm.
Speaker 1: Was it a person talking theology? Was it a therapist?
Speaker 1: Was it a, I remember where it came from. But anyway,
Speaker 1: but this idea is sort of ancient. It's the idea
Speaker 1: of trying to put out more good vibes in the
Speaker 1: world than bad vibes and And that it has an
Speaker 1: effect on all different kinds of things. And I think
Speaker 1: Dolly Parton probably had a good effect on like practically
Speaker 1: everybody she ran into. And then that kind of spreads.
Speaker 1: But just the example being like, if I'm being a
Speaker 1: jerk and in a bad mood and I'm rude to
Speaker 1: a waiter, then that waiter might be, you know, not
Speaker 1: very nice to his boss, right? And his boss might
Speaker 1: go home and not be very nice to his wife
Speaker 1: or her husband. And then that person goes to work
Speaker 1: the next day and treats that, you know, just how
Speaker 1: it has ripples as opposed to the opposite, where if
Speaker 1: you're kind of cheery and nice and give them a
Speaker 1: good tip and say you did a really good job
Speaker 1: and they're in a better mood and the boss feels
Speaker 1: better about himself and he goes home and he's nicer
Speaker 1: to his kids. Just do you believe in that idea
Speaker 1: of just everybody putting out vibes in the world and
Speaker 1: that if everybody put out better vibes, the world will
Speaker 1: be a better place? Or is that like over.
Speaker 1: Exaggerating one's effect on things. No, I don't.
Speaker 4: Well, it depends what you perceive your effect on things
Speaker 4: would be. I suppose you could be delusional or have
Speaker 4: delusions of grandeur. But no, in general, yeah, of course
Speaker 4: that's true. If people are more pleasant, the world would
Speaker 4: be a more pleasant place. And everybody ought to try. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I believe that 100%. It's not going to lead to
Speaker 4: a perfect world or the end of strife and crime
Speaker 4: and dishonesty and graft and the rest of it, but
Speaker 4: it'll make it a hell of a lot more pleasant.
Speaker 1: I don't think most people think about their bad acts,
Speaker 1: especially the small ones of having the effect sort of
Speaker 1: thing that I just laid out. Just a minor thing
Speaker 1: with somebody that could make them a little grumpier to
Speaker 1: their kid or boy, just, you know, and then builds
Speaker 1: and builds and builds or transfers a little at a
Speaker 1: time and the opposite. And then, like, a person at
Speaker 1: Dolly Parton, I would guess that, like, every meeting she
Speaker 1: was in or whatever was a little nicer and calmer
Speaker 1: and people left feeling a little better than if they
Speaker 1: were in a meeting with, I don't know, who's a
Speaker 1: legendary a-hole to work with? I don't know who, but.
Speaker 1: I mean, anybody who works in.
Speaker 4: Oh, it would be so funny right now to name
Speaker 4: somebody we actually work with.
Speaker 1: Well, I can pick one.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Anybody who works in... customer service can relate to
Speaker 5: what you're talking about because i remember being a cashier
Speaker 5: at trader joe's and i could be up on that
Speaker 5: register for two and a half hours and then one
Speaker 5: person would come in and be a dick and there
Speaker 5: goes my mood for the rest of the day everybody
Speaker 5: and for some reason negativity overrides kindness in certain ways
Speaker 5: right it just takes that one little thing where you're.
Speaker 1: Like yeah probably shouldn't but yeah i feel like You
Speaker 1: could run into five really nice, pleasant people in a row,
Speaker 1: and one bad person could override that easily.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: As opposed to the other way around.
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're probably made that way for a specific reason,
Speaker 4: but I suppose fighting against it is probably a good idea.
Speaker 4: You know, it's funny, you were asking that question, and
Speaker 4: I was getting distracted because I was thinking of people
Speaker 4: who are unpleasant to other people, or at least less
Speaker 4: pleasant than they ought to be, because they perceive that
Speaker 4: person to be below them. And I thought, no, that's
Speaker 4: kind of a distraction from what Jack was talking about,
Speaker 4: but no, that's, it's a perfect thing to bring into
Speaker 4: the Dolly Parton discussion.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Cause she was, she, how often was she around anybody
Speaker 1: that she wasn't above by like any measure of success
Speaker 1: you would have very rarely.
Speaker 4: And I, there are certain cultural norms as I've moved
Speaker 4: around the country. It's been really interesting to see different
Speaker 4: people of different economic status in different parts of the
Speaker 4: country behave in, in little different ways. Um, But the
Speaker 4: idea of when the, uh, the busser or whatever, the
Speaker 4: assistant waiter comes to your table and fills your water,
Speaker 4: refills your water. You can, I've, I, I always say
Speaker 4: thank you. Um, but I've known people who would consider
Speaker 4: it ridiculous to even acknowledge their presence there.
Speaker 1: I will say, I didn't even look at them. I
Speaker 1: will say, I will state it flatly. We, uh, We've
Speaker 1: had many, many bosses, Joe and I.
Speaker 5: Yes.
Speaker 1: We still have like, I don't know, 50 people we
Speaker 1: could call our boss if we wanted to use that terminology. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I was told one time, Katie, by a boss when
Speaker 1: the waiter came and did that, filled the water. And
Speaker 1: I said, thank you. He said, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: You don't talk to the waiters. That's not the way
Speaker 1: you're supposed to. Because he felt like he was, because
Speaker 1: I'm a hick from nowhere, he was schooling me on
Speaker 1: the way you're supposed to handle nice restaurants. You don't
Speaker 1: acknowledge him or talk to him. You're not supposed to
Speaker 1: do that. Like what? We have a very background.
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 5: We have a very, very nice restaurant that we basically
Speaker 5: celebrate all family events together. I tip all of the
Speaker 5: the bussers because nobody pays attention to them.
Speaker 4: Oh. Oh, they get a share of the server's tips,
Speaker 4: but certainly if you'd like to, then.
Speaker 2: Go do it.
Speaker 5: Because I was a busser, and I know what it's
Speaker 5: like to go refill the waters, and it's like you're
Speaker 5: not even there. And one person says thank you, which
Speaker 5: is greatly appreciated, but it's like, I mean, they're not
Speaker 5: doing anything less.
Speaker 1: They're working their butts off. What's the downside of saying
Speaker 1: thanks when somebody fills your water glass?
Speaker 4: There is no downside.
Speaker 1: To reassert your status.
Speaker 4: Because people people need that they.
Speaker 5: Need to feel superior to others now your status is
Speaker 5: gross if that's the case.
Speaker 1: Well i guess is that what it's born of with
Speaker 1: that individual it seemed to me the way it was
Speaker 1: presented to me that like if i'm with a group
Speaker 1: of other people that are at my lofty status It's
Speaker 1: a bad signal to them that I don't know I'm
Speaker 1: not supposed to say anything to the person who filled
Speaker 1: my water.
Speaker 5: No, this is ridiculous.
Speaker 1: Which I don't care about. That's a human being.
Speaker 5: They're working their butt off. You said thank you, which
Speaker 5: is the nice thing to do, and it shows that
Speaker 5: you have manners.
Speaker 1: You're the lower classes, Katie. Well, then call me a peasant. Right.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 1: And if I'm at a table with some people who
Speaker 1: are going to think, and there's somebody who does not
Speaker 1: understand how the world works or is a poltroon or whatever, fine,
Speaker 1: I'll be okay. You guys got any change?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: There you go.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 4: And this is the United States of America, famously one
Speaker 4: of the most class-mobile societies ever on Earth. One of
Speaker 4: my daughter's friends did, I think it was a year
Speaker 4: at one of your fairly elite British universities, And the
Speaker 4: class system is much more entrenched in Britain and it
Speaker 4: is not a thing of the past. And she was
Speaker 4: so shocked initially, then interested and occasionally amused that it
Speaker 4: became infinitely clear. And they're not subtle about it, that
Speaker 4: you are not in our class. You will not hang
Speaker 4: out with us. You will not talk to us. You
Speaker 4: are not welcome here at all. And then, then you've
Speaker 4: got a country like India. where they make Britain look,
Speaker 4: you know, like they're classless. So, yeah, it's, but getting
Speaker 4: back to Dolly Parton, she was immensely wealthy, popular, famous,
Speaker 4: and unaware of her ever acting as if she was
Speaker 4: better than anyone. That's part of why she's an American icon,
Speaker 4: because that's, going back to the founders, that is one
Speaker 4: of the bedrock principles on which this country was founded,
Speaker 4: that people don't, I think, appreciate, um, enough.
Speaker 5: This might be a little disconnected, but when I was
Speaker 5: working at a major alternative radio station in San Francisco,
Speaker 5: I was on, I was the cohost of the morning
Speaker 5: show and I worked at trader Joe's at the same time.
Speaker 5: And that was humbling because I had like listeners because
Speaker 5: I would talk about it on the air and then
Speaker 5: listeners would come in and see me like stalking cereal.
Speaker 1: What's up guys.
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah. No big head there.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 5: That whole status, I hate the status steps that we
Speaker 5: take sometimes. It's really not cool.
Speaker 1: I'm right with you, Katie.
Speaker 4: I hate it.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Michael. I thought you were implying that you're
Speaker 1: stocking cereal now, but you're not. No, I wasn't. I
Speaker 1: did bus table, so.
Speaker 4: Michael, we had such an overflow yesterday. We had to
Speaker 4: schedule another autograph session for you. So there's like 75
Speaker 4: people lined up, so. If you could get out to
Speaker 4: the lobby, that'd be great. All right.
Speaker 1: I just thought it's an extra motivation as if being
Speaker 1: nice to the one individual you're interacting with isn't enough
Speaker 1: that you could affect 15 people that day by being
Speaker 1: slightly rude to this person.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Surely you don't want to do that.
Speaker 5: It's a ripple effect, like you said.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah. One of the most important things I learned as
Speaker 4: a busser, it's funny that most of us did that,
Speaker 4: is if you're filling the waters and you drop the
Speaker 4: pitcher and knock over a glass or something and spill
Speaker 4: the water everywhere.
Speaker 1: I was perfect, so I don't know what that's about.
Speaker 4: Everybody's so distracted and so frantic, you can reach into
Speaker 4: somebody's purse and fish around. and see if you can
Speaker 4: get your own tip.
Speaker 1: Well, that was back in the old days. That's more
Speaker 1: gross behavior. You could grab several phones. You'd probably have
Speaker 1: three phones in your pocket.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: Everybody's going to try to self-off with him, and then
Speaker 1: at some point he's going to say, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1: Where's my phone?
Speaker 2: You see your phone.
Speaker 1: What kind of heathens are you? I don't think that's what... Hey,
Speaker 1: you got to look out for number one, lady. Just
Speaker 1: like Dolly Parton.
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 1: Just like Dolly. I used to be a buster, and
Speaker 1: I would tell the people, you know, this is nice,
Speaker 1: but I'm a millionaire. I just do this to hang
Speaker 1: out with the little people.
Speaker 4: Like you.
Speaker 1: Well, I guess that's it.