1 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:07,680 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stephan 2 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:19,280 Speaker 1: I Never told you production of iHeart Radio. And welcome 3 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 1: to another edition of the Monday mini series. Yes, Happy Monday, 4 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:29,200 Speaker 1: Happy Monday. And today, surprisingly it's not a TikTok talk. 5 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 1: You're welcome home. No Samantha's tiktalk talk. No Samantha's TikTok talk. Today. 6 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 1: It's April. It is very rainy. It's coming in like 7 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 1: a lion. Right in the hut, goes, I don't know 8 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:46,800 Speaker 1: the saying it's coming in like a lion, and he's like, 9 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,519 Speaker 1: I am something yeah or something like that. And this 10 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: is in April? Is it March? March? March comes in 11 00:00:57,080 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 1: May flowers, April showers, bring mayfly hours. That's it there, 12 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 1: it is. So it's April and it's very stormy. That 13 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,520 Speaker 1: was what I was trying to say, in my very 14 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: in archticulate typical manner where I get all of my 15 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:15,199 Speaker 1: sayings and phrases wrong and typically say the wrong word. 16 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 1: I like, man, why am I a podcast are anyway? 17 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 1: But yes, it's April, except for today the weather has 18 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 1: been nice and then today is now all thundering and stormy. 19 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,959 Speaker 1: But because it has been nice and beautiful, uh, and 20 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 1: because we've been through some tough things things that are happening. Um, 21 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:40,760 Speaker 1: the US is not very stable right now, whether it's 22 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 1: due to the policies that people are in acting, um, 23 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: the racism that is happening, and the anti blackness that's 24 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 1: happening with our Supreme Court justice nominee going through her questioning, 25 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 1: it's the whole thing, y'all. But you know, I was 26 00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:00,040 Speaker 1: really going to try to do a cheery, happy a 27 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: subject for the start of this week or whenever you're 28 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:07,800 Speaker 1: listening for the start of the beginning of this podcast episode, 29 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 1: because I'm also known as the negative one that kind 30 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: of goes a pessimistic turn. I'm like, you know what, 31 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:16,480 Speaker 1: I'm really I'm really gonna do good. I'm gonna do 32 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 1: a cheery one. We're gonna be happy. And as I 33 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:22,120 Speaker 1: was trying to research good things that are happening, good 34 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:26,120 Speaker 1: news for women around the world, I didn't find much 35 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 1: any um. And I don't know if it's because again 36 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,240 Speaker 1: my Google such as like you're from the US, you 37 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: only want the US news. There is a problem when 38 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 1: it comes to savoritism in UH Western culture where we 39 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:46,240 Speaker 1: kind of fetish size trauma and also saving people. So 40 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 1: we take these good days and make it something that 41 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,400 Speaker 1: people just want to watch. I know they call it. 42 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 1: I think some people call it trauma porn all that 43 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,680 Speaker 1: where they thrive in seeing people suffer and then having 44 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,679 Speaker 1: someone filmed them being filmed saving them. And I'm not 45 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:03,120 Speaker 1: gonna lie. That is something I hate with a passion 46 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 1: and I will not ever ever praise that in any way. 47 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: So outside of those things, I really couldn't find much, 48 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:16,360 Speaker 1: but it did take me down a rabbit hole of things. Uh. 49 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 1: And it's specifically about women in happiness and contentment. So 50 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 1: it's like, you know what, let's let's google just google 51 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: women in happiness and we got some interesting results. An 52 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 1: he didn't weigh and because I did, I did find 53 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 1: a few articles, some very outdated, uh, some a little 54 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 1: bit newer, very different points of perspective. We decided that 55 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 1: we were going to read a couple of articles for specifically, 56 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 1: So we're gonna take this in two parts, uh, because 57 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 1: I think it's as a little bit themed two parts 58 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,640 Speaker 1: to what we have found in a few of the 59 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 1: articles that we found interesting and wanting to talk about 60 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:57,200 Speaker 1: and discuss. So pretty much the entirety of these articles 61 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 1: were themed around happiness and women. Just remember this, so 62 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 1: part one Monday many happiness with women, and this has 63 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,840 Speaker 1: a little more to do with like women in their 64 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 1: bodies and or having children and what they're what the 65 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:18,040 Speaker 1: meaning of life is, right right, right? So yeah, let's 66 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,760 Speaker 1: read some of these articles and then dissect, shall we. 67 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 1: And of course, even though it's just Anye and I 68 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:25,640 Speaker 1: on the mic right now, we love your opinions and 69 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,800 Speaker 1: your thoughts, and if you have thoughts outside of what 70 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:30,560 Speaker 1: we are going to say, please send it so we 71 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,640 Speaker 1: can have that as a part of the discussion in 72 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:38,120 Speaker 1: a different episode. Also, if you have any good news, 73 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:42,719 Speaker 1: because clearly we're struggling to find some struggling we were 74 00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:45,719 Speaker 1: hoping to get some good news soon, I will say. 75 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 1: But if also, we would love it to be outside 76 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 1: of the US. And by the way, apparently we have 77 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:55,800 Speaker 1: a big group of listeners in Australia. I believe I 78 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:59,160 Speaker 1: think you said Brazil in chul A before, so I 79 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,480 Speaker 1: would love to hear you're this y'all give it to us. 80 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 1: And if you're from Finland, apparently Finland is the most 81 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:08,719 Speaker 1: happy country to live in. Please you also does some 82 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:14,360 Speaker 1: good news because I didn't know. Okay, yes, all right, 83 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:17,520 Speaker 1: So here's one of the articles I found, and I 84 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:20,280 Speaker 1: have a feeling y'all are gonna know what type of 85 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 1: news article this is. But the title of it is 86 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: why don't we tell women what's making them miserable? And 87 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 1: it is written by Carrie Gress. It was written in 88 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 1: auguste And by the way, the other part to this 89 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 1: title is feminism and its Failures. I feel like that's 90 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:44,159 Speaker 1: a big heads up. Yeah, okay, So with so many 91 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:47,560 Speaker 1: feminist advances, women should be getting happier instead of just 92 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:51,720 Speaker 1: more medicated. Over the last five decades, feminism has made 93 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 1: a long march through American culture, culminating in the first 94 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:58,600 Speaker 1: female vice president of the United States. But it isn't 95 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 1: clear that feminism is fruit are helping everyone happy. These 96 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:06,919 Speaker 1: metrics confirmed that women are struggling. Suicides, depression, substance abuse, 97 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: and sexually transmitted infections have all increased dramatically over the 98 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:17,000 Speaker 1: last five decades. Women aren't becoming happier, just more medicated. 99 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 1: A twenty twenty Pew report showed that over fift of 100 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 1: liberal white women under thirty have some sort of mental 101 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:28,600 Speaker 1: health issue. That statistic alone is studying enough to indicate 102 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:32,080 Speaker 1: that something is going very wrong for the modern woman, 103 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:37,360 Speaker 1: despite the study uptick of feminist advances. I recently had 104 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,360 Speaker 1: dinner with two friends who work at a crisis pregnancy center. 105 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 1: They told me some far from unusual stories about the 106 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:49,479 Speaker 1: challenges of their residents face and the rough living must 107 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 1: have experienced being trafficked, pimped, addicted, incarcerated, abuse, and on 108 00:06:55,120 --> 00:07:00,160 Speaker 1: and on. Crisis pregnacy centers, despite their recent mischaracterization in 109 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,920 Speaker 1: the handmads till do amazing work to protect and help 110 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 1: rebuild the lives of new mothers. But it is striking 111 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 1: to consider that we as a culture do precious little 112 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:14,600 Speaker 1: to help women avoid those troublesome situations from the beginning. 113 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,040 Speaker 1: It is only when women get this far down the 114 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 1: road and in this much trouble that mentoring women can 115 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:25,280 Speaker 1: step in and say, quote, something has to change, and 116 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:28,240 Speaker 1: those in crisis are willing to listen because they have 117 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 1: tried everything else. As lives were rebuilt, basic changes to 118 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 1: behavior are taught, albeit as an uphill battle because of 119 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:40,920 Speaker 1: the absence of cultural support. But most American women with money, 120 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: degrees or connections will never hear that our culturally prescribed 121 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 1: feminist lifestyle is the source of their unhappiness, struggles, and 122 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,960 Speaker 1: feeling of emptiness. It seems that we just allow women 123 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,160 Speaker 1: to free fall into truly awful states without even so 124 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:58,920 Speaker 1: much as a quickly spoken warnings of side effects required 125 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 1: for far cutical commercials. Imagine what that might sound like. 126 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 1: Side effects may include sexually transmitted diseases, debilitating depression, loneliness, despair, 127 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 1: substance abuse, and suicide. The regnant belief is that human 128 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 1: nature is plastic enough that we can do whatever we 129 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 1: want consequence free, but so many devastated lives paint a 130 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 1: different picture. The progressive solution, which has been cycling around 131 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 1: for decades, has been to fix or shore up problems 132 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:32,600 Speaker 1: with more governmental assistance and programs. Remember Julia, the imaginary 133 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:37,600 Speaker 1: woman who never needed a man. This unintentionally dystopian portrait, 134 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:40,760 Speaker 1: thought up during the Obama administration, was meant to let 135 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: us know that government is here to supply every need 136 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 1: from birth to death without placing any kind of demands 137 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,800 Speaker 1: on our behavior. Rarely is the suggestion made that women 138 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:53,400 Speaker 1: have been sold a poisonous lifestyle and the behaviors implied 139 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 1: and that lifestyle are are what it actually need. To 140 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:59,120 Speaker 1: be changed. Instead, we have a steady diet of articles 141 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 1: such as anal sex safety how, twos tips and more, 142 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,960 Speaker 1: or how Summer camp gave me the freedom to explore 143 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:09,480 Speaker 1: my queerness at teen Vogue, which is marketed as the 144 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,959 Speaker 1: young Person's Guide to Saving the World. College freshmen now 145 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,720 Speaker 1: being oriented to their new life away from home as 146 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:19,480 Speaker 1: the school year begins, are particularly targeted in their new 147 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:23,000 Speaker 1: savage world where anything goes as long as they're consent 148 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:27,680 Speaker 1: and maybe a mask. Heavy doses of gender exploration is safe. 149 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,880 Speaker 1: Sex practices and heaps of contraceptives are all part of 150 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,800 Speaker 1: the welcome at most U S college campuses. But what 151 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,199 Speaker 1: if there's another way of living, one that doesn't lead 152 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,280 Speaker 1: to the predictable road of confusion and despair. Efforts or 153 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 1: individuals that shed light on the things that actually help 154 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 1: women are met with leftist crist and victimization, or by 155 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 1: bullying or blaming the patriarchy. Hardly the recent based argumentation 156 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:53,760 Speaker 1: radical fimintism was supposed to provide, what then, should we 157 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: be conveyed to women of every economic and ethic stripe 158 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 1: to help us having fulfilling lives. Their basics such as 159 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:05,560 Speaker 1: don't sleep around don't do drugs, don't have abortions, stop blaming, 160 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:08,840 Speaker 1: moving the patriarchy, find a purpose outside of yourself, cover 161 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,520 Speaker 1: up some of that skin, don't overspend, and figure out 162 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:14,240 Speaker 1: what is truly good and not just what celebrities say. 163 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:18,200 Speaker 1: None of these suggestions is revolutionary, especially if one looks 164 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 1: honestly at history, or human nature or psychology. These elements, 165 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 1: which who are obvious throughout most of human history, are 166 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,600 Speaker 1: the real remedy for so much that afflicts all of us. 167 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 1: But there are things radical feminists don't want to be 168 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:35,559 Speaker 1: spoken out loud. Over the last five decades, a carefully 169 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,800 Speaker 1: constructed closed system has been created, so anything outside its 170 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 1: boundaries is almost unthinkable. Hollywood, universities, politics, the fashion industry, magazines, 171 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:51,080 Speaker 1: daytime television, and book publishing generate enough ideology. Tell Weaving 172 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:54,240 Speaker 1: that to make sure that there's only one narrative in town, 173 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 1: faith and family are about the only outliers that might 174 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,839 Speaker 1: let the slip show. Isn't any under that these two 175 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 1: are under attack, but more satisfying ways to live, to 176 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 1: do exist, ways that where dignity is honored, health is 177 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:12,160 Speaker 1: truly valued, body parts aren't ignored or rendered useless, and 178 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,360 Speaker 1: relationships which are at the true heart of most women, 179 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,640 Speaker 1: aren't fleeting or shallow, useful or convenient, but deep, abiding 180 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,840 Speaker 1: and life giving. If only we could find a way 181 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:40,080 Speaker 1: to tell this to every woman. Wow, I think there 182 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 1: are a lot of interesting things going on in here. 183 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: One of my main takeaways is that I think that 184 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:55,600 Speaker 1: it's not necessarily the case that rates have gone up 185 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,440 Speaker 1: and all of these things, but perhaps that they are 186 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:01,320 Speaker 1: being more recorded or we're seeing them more, maybe they 187 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,599 Speaker 1: have gone up, But I don't think like that is 188 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:09,560 Speaker 1: you can't draw that parallel necessarily. UM. I also think 189 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:13,719 Speaker 1: like and this is more of a philosophical question that 190 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 1: I don't think we have time to get into, but 191 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:22,319 Speaker 1: I do think there is. It's hard to live in 192 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 1: a society when you do know you do see these injustices, 193 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,280 Speaker 1: or that you're valued, blessed, or that you know you 194 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 1: see like all these restrictions around your body and just 195 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 1: various levels where we mentioned this recently, like where you 196 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:43,680 Speaker 1: don't have control and you don't have control over yourself, 197 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:48,120 Speaker 1: over your body. You're witnessing this, You're hearing conversations like 198 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:51,959 Speaker 1: this that can be difficult and that can lead to 199 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:54,959 Speaker 1: substance abuse. When you're dealing with it every day, or 200 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:58,400 Speaker 1: like some unhealthy coping mechanism. We've talked about that with trauma. 201 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 1: People have these unhealthy coping panis ms, including me, where 202 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:07,280 Speaker 1: like basically, you've got to find a way to get 203 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:11,600 Speaker 1: through the day. And I think feminism, I'm not saying 204 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 1: that's good at all, but I think we've become more 205 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,559 Speaker 1: aware of these injustices and inequalities and inequities, and that 206 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 1: is hard to deal with. But it's not Feminism's false. 207 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:25,360 Speaker 1: It's more like we're becoming more aware of these things. Right. 208 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 1: And here's the thing that I was going to say 209 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,800 Speaker 1: about this article. I brought this article out because it 210 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,600 Speaker 1: was one of the first things that popped up when 211 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,280 Speaker 1: I was like women in Happiness, and I found that 212 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:36,160 Speaker 1: interesting because we know when when search engines have control. 213 00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:41,840 Speaker 1: This this writer who doesn't like universities and education apparently, 214 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,840 Speaker 1: which by the way, is a thing I've heard through 215 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 1: my family that once we become educated, we become more sinful. 216 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:53,160 Speaker 1: But she is an actual scholar at the Institute of 217 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:58,200 Speaker 1: Human Ecology at the Catholic University of America, So there's 218 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:02,040 Speaker 1: a lot to be said to that. Be absolutely so 219 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,560 Speaker 1: this Pew report or that she tried to cite. We're 220 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,199 Speaker 1: saying that women of liberal women under the age of 221 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,719 Speaker 1: thirty have more health diagnosis. Mental health diagnosis goes to 222 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:15,360 Speaker 1: another conservative blog that quotes and pulls things out talking 223 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 1: also about postpartum depression. Let's talk about the fact that 224 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,840 Speaker 1: this data also talk leaves out a lot of the 225 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 1: conversation of the fact, yes, more women are actually being 226 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 1: diagnosed today than ever because they're actually seeking help. So 227 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:34,480 Speaker 1: that's a whole different level of conversation. Let's also talk 228 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:37,800 Speaker 1: about what she talked about medication being about happiness. We 229 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:40,760 Speaker 1: are coming to a point that sure medication has gone up. 230 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,880 Speaker 1: I have talked about it as well. In our system 231 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,400 Speaker 1: that we're giving were I feel like we're giving our 232 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:47,600 Speaker 1: children away too much because it's an overhaul. But that's 233 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 1: because we also are not funding or actually giving right 234 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:57,880 Speaker 1: therapeutic options, which is very limited and often condemned by conservatives. 235 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:01,120 Speaker 1: This article, I'm not gonna I obviously I read it 236 00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 1: in a way of a little bit biased. And people 237 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,360 Speaker 1: we've already been raped over the coals who are like y'all, 238 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:09,440 Speaker 1: are y'all are biased? Yes we are. We are leftist 239 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,680 Speaker 1: if that's what you want to call us. We believe 240 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,720 Speaker 1: in the rights of women, we believe in the rights 241 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,880 Speaker 1: of chance, we believe in the rights of queers. We 242 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:20,040 Speaker 1: will leave in working against anti black people's and anybody 243 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,640 Speaker 1: who was racist, as We're gonna come at you. That's 244 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,840 Speaker 1: what we do. If you really thought Christen and Caroline 245 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,440 Speaker 1: weren't about that life, y'all should go listen to their 246 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:32,560 Speaker 1: stuff now and trying to reassess because they were. They 247 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 1: just were a lot politter than we are in the story. 248 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 1: But all of this to say, this article definitely talks 249 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,680 Speaker 1: and blames even the fact that she says to you 250 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:48,920 Speaker 1: like we are rendering our body parts useless. I'm infuriated 251 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,200 Speaker 1: that that line. I was ready to throw hands. I'm 252 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:55,640 Speaker 1: not gonna lie because it's like, Wow, you have just 253 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 1: demeaned us to our universe and whether or not we 254 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 1: are of if we have not given birth. Yeah, yeah, 255 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:09,400 Speaker 1: find it very hilarious. That's very depressing, slash very on 256 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,920 Speaker 1: point with a lot of our rhetoric that it's like, 257 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,080 Speaker 1: why aren't we telling women what's making them miserable? It's 258 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:21,240 Speaker 1: being women and being loud of like, right, you should 259 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 1: go back to faith and family and stop trying to 260 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 1: get your equal rights because it's just depressing you. And 261 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,360 Speaker 1: by the way, if you're wondering why I hesitated and 262 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 1: did a cough at the mention of a crisis pregnancy center, 263 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 1: we do have an amazing, amazing episode which we talked 264 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 1: to a scholar who researched and went traveling to go 265 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:50,040 Speaker 1: and find out about these crisis pregnacy centers and how 266 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,960 Speaker 1: they are harmful to women's seeking treatment, which is also 267 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,040 Speaker 1: why she doesn't say what they do. I found that 268 00:16:56,200 --> 00:17:00,080 Speaker 1: interesting in the article. Yes, also worth pointing out this 269 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:04,480 Speaker 1: is pretty recent. We recently did her episode of the 270 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:10,600 Speaker 1: pandemic health Effects, so also that's it play like everyone's 271 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,600 Speaker 1: feeling a little more depress than you shore right now, 272 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 1: unless you're a billionaire and you're making more money than ever. 273 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,920 Speaker 1: But I mean, she didn't even mention like, oh, you know, 274 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 1: it's a worldwide pandemic, right And I find it interesting 275 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:30,639 Speaker 1: that she absolutely only pointed out that's statistic because it 276 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:32,800 Speaker 1: was only pointed out. I think like that was one 277 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:36,879 Speaker 1: of the numbers for liberal white women under fifty. She 278 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:42,120 Speaker 1: gave no cares about women of color. Mm hmm, Yeah, 279 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:47,359 Speaker 1: that was a very specific, very specific subset focused in 280 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:50,520 Speaker 1: on And here's the thing. I know this may be 281 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:55,119 Speaker 1: hating on the article because I hate the article, but 282 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,159 Speaker 1: this is also the rhetoric that I heard growing up 283 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,840 Speaker 1: as well. All of this is what was fed to me, 284 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,280 Speaker 1: and it's fed to a lot of women saying this 285 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,320 Speaker 1: is why you shouldn't be feminist, This is why feminism 286 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 1: is a bad word. Yeah, that whole like angry feminists. 287 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 1: This is that like you're not gonna be happy, You're 288 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,680 Speaker 1: gonna be angry feminist. That's the thing. It's like, I 289 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:16,159 Speaker 1: really hate that characterization. But again, going back to what 290 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,280 Speaker 1: I said earlier, it's kind of true because once you 291 00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:25,160 Speaker 1: were like, oh, injustice is everywhere, it's right to be mad, right. Also, 292 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,800 Speaker 1: I do love that she also puts in a mask 293 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:31,320 Speaker 1: as something of contention, and she's I'm pretty sure she's 294 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:34,240 Speaker 1: talking about literal masks here, y'all um, if that doesn't 295 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,240 Speaker 1: tell you something. But I think it's quite funny that 296 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,840 Speaker 1: she says heavy doses of gender exploration and safe sex 297 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,040 Speaker 1: practices and heaps of constraceptives are all part of the 298 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:47,200 Speaker 1: welcome at most US college campuses, as if that's a 299 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:54,760 Speaker 1: bad thing. Yeah, sex practices is a bad thing, absolutely shameful. 300 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:58,000 Speaker 1: But going back to what you said, is that that 301 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,920 Speaker 1: I also heard that. I mean, it's a running joke 302 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:04,280 Speaker 1: with me and one of my my parents, not parents, 303 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,840 Speaker 1: one of my best friend's parents, very very conservative, and 304 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,320 Speaker 1: it kind of joked with me all the time because 305 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,360 Speaker 1: they know I'm liberal, and they'll be like, you went 306 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:15,159 Speaker 1: after your your college and you get your liberal education, 307 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:19,000 Speaker 1: and now like it's a joke, but it's true. They 308 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:23,840 Speaker 1: use this argument all the time, right, And that's kind 309 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,440 Speaker 1: of like I joke about my niece who has come 310 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:30,480 Speaker 1: to Atlanta and has grown into herself, and I purposely 311 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,399 Speaker 1: I'm sad that I did this because I missed out 312 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 1: on some things that I feel like I could have 313 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,920 Speaker 1: helped her. But I purposely stayed away from her because 314 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:42,080 Speaker 1: I did not want to be that influence quote unquote. 315 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:44,800 Speaker 1: And yeah, she learned it for herself. I knew she 316 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:48,280 Speaker 1: would as well as that she is very intelligent and empathetic, 317 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:52,040 Speaker 1: so she she could not ignore some of these issues 318 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,440 Speaker 1: that we've talked about, and she she went home. And 319 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:57,200 Speaker 1: that's one of the first things. Oh, you went to 320 00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,520 Speaker 1: Atlanta and now you're this and she to give an 321 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,840 Speaker 1: excuse us to why she wanted to remain in Atlanta 322 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,359 Speaker 1: instead of going back to the small hometown, because that 323 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,840 Speaker 1: means an absolute betrayal of you've turned away from us, 324 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:14,080 Speaker 1: right right, right, right, Yeah, I mean, but a lot 325 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:19,040 Speaker 1: of negative stuff is managed. I guess you got to 326 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:20,840 Speaker 1: give the author points as much as I don't want 327 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,439 Speaker 1: to manage to like accomplish a lot because you're right, 328 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,800 Speaker 1: like the body parts is saying something about like who 329 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:29,920 Speaker 1: is a woman and what constitute woman? Like all these 330 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:36,080 Speaker 1: messages of we should go back to like traditional ninetifties housewife, 331 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 1: it seems, and then you'll be happier because you're more 332 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,480 Speaker 1: last year and this is the last fifty years so 333 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,119 Speaker 1: ever since second Way Fi minism came in through came in, 334 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,160 Speaker 1: it's been awful, Like we just wanted to vote, that's 335 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:52,760 Speaker 1: it stopped blaming the patriarchy. But yeah, I thought this 336 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:55,639 Speaker 1: was interesting as one take on why we're unhappy. And 337 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,800 Speaker 1: again this is more of a recent one. We know 338 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:01,200 Speaker 1: that's a whole conversation, but we wanted to take a 339 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 1: look at another thing about maybe this does make us happy. 340 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,680 Speaker 1: And we've talked about this before, right, Adie yes we have. 341 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,719 Speaker 1: So this uh is an article from The Guardian from 342 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,480 Speaker 1: twenty nineteen by She and Kine and I hope I'm 343 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 1: pronouncing the name correctly, but I remember when this came 344 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,119 Speaker 1: out because it cost a lot of waves. But it 345 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,600 Speaker 1: was about how single women might be like the happiest 346 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 1: group of people. All right, so here's some quotes. We 347 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,600 Speaker 1: may have suspected it already, but now science backs it up. 348 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:35,360 Speaker 1: Unmarried and childless women are the happiest subgroup in the population, 349 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,959 Speaker 1: and they're more likely to live longer, and they are 350 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,560 Speaker 1: more likely to live longer than they're married and child 351 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,680 Speaker 1: rearing peers. According to a leading expert in happiness, it 352 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:47,359 Speaker 1: sounds like a fun job. Speaking at the Hay Festival 353 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,639 Speaker 1: on Saturday, Paul Dulan, professor of behavioral science at the 354 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,359 Speaker 1: London School of Economics, said the latest evidence showed that 355 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,600 Speaker 1: the traditional markers used to measure success did not correlate 356 00:21:56,640 --> 00:22:00,720 Speaker 1: with happiness, particularly marriage and raising children. We do have 357 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:04,040 Speaker 1: some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, 358 00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:06,119 Speaker 1: but I'm going to do a massive disservice to that 359 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,560 Speaker 1: science and just say, if you're a man, you should 360 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:11,560 Speaker 1: probably get married. If you're a woman, don't bother I do. 361 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 1: Remember this goes on. Men benefited from marriage because they 362 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,120 Speaker 1: calmed down, he said, you take less risk, you earn 363 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 1: more money at work, and you live a little longer. She, 364 00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:24,320 Speaker 1: on the other hand, has to put up with that 365 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,159 Speaker 1: and die sooner than if she had never married. The 366 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,320 Speaker 1: healthiest and happiest population subgroup are women who never married 367 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,280 Speaker 1: or had children, he said. Other studies have measured some 368 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:35,840 Speaker 1: financial and health benefits and being married for both men 369 00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:39,080 Speaker 1: and women on average, which Dulan said could be attributed 370 00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:41,639 Speaker 1: to higher incomes and emotional support allowing married people to 371 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,919 Speaker 1: take risk and seek medical help. However, Dolan said men 372 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,359 Speaker 1: showed more health benefits from tying than not as they 373 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,439 Speaker 1: took fear a risk. Women's health was mostly unaffected by marriage, 374 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,119 Speaker 1: with middle aged women even being at higher risk of 375 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,600 Speaker 1: physical and mental conditions than their single counterparts. Despite the 376 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,440 Speaker 1: benefits of a single, childless lifestyle for women, Dolan said 377 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,680 Speaker 1: that he exist narrative that marriage and children were signs 378 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,400 Speaker 1: a success meant that the stigma could lead some single 379 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,879 Speaker 1: women to feel unhappy. You see a single woman of 380 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,560 Speaker 1: forty who has never had children, blessed, that's a shame, 381 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,720 Speaker 1: isn't it. Maybe one day you'll meet the right guy 382 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,760 Speaker 1: and that will change. No, maybe she'll meet the wrong 383 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,200 Speaker 1: guy and that'll change. Maybe she'll meet a guy who 384 00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:35,359 Speaker 1: makes her less happy and healthy and die sooner. So 385 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:40,480 Speaker 1: it's vastly different than the article. And yes, of course 386 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,880 Speaker 1: we've talked about this previously. Again, this does not mean 387 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,760 Speaker 1: that that is the way to happiness for everyone. My mother, 388 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:51,359 Speaker 1: I think, truly is one of the happiest women, being 389 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:55,720 Speaker 1: a mother, loving her husband, being the support for her husband, 390 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,480 Speaker 1: and literally being told that as a Christian woman, she's 391 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,480 Speaker 1: the backbone of the of the home, and she is, 392 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 1: and she loves that. She loves that aspect of her life. 393 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,920 Speaker 1: So I would never want to take that away from her. 394 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,960 Speaker 1: And and the fact that even if we don't agree 395 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,399 Speaker 1: on anything else, I know she has been happy. I 396 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,760 Speaker 1: know she feels like she's missed out on some things, 397 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:20,399 Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean she's not happy. So go ahead, 398 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:22,000 Speaker 1: and but I have got in there. But I do 399 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:24,280 Speaker 1: love this conversation because we talked about it because this 400 00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,400 Speaker 1: was pre pandemic about how much worse it got after 401 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:31,280 Speaker 1: the fact for the women who did not have supportive husbands. 402 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,879 Speaker 1: And or supportive partners um and why that was so 403 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:39,439 Speaker 1: detrimental Again, while we've gotten another giant gap about women 404 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:43,440 Speaker 1: raising up in jobs, most likely leaving the jobs altogether, 405 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:47,400 Speaker 1: the higher number of resignations, all of those things because 406 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:52,520 Speaker 1: of the pandemic, and who the househole life fell upon, which, 407 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:53,760 Speaker 1: by the way, we're going to talk a little more 408 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:57,639 Speaker 1: in part two. Yeah, and I it's an interesting contradiction 409 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:01,680 Speaker 1: to our juxtaposition, maybe both to the last article we read, 410 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:06,280 Speaker 1: because the last article was essentially saying you're unhappy because 411 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,200 Speaker 1: you're single, you don't have family, you don't have faith, 412 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:12,800 Speaker 1: and this one's like, actually, for women, it seems that 413 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:17,119 Speaker 1: they're happier without those things. And again, yeah, we're not 414 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,640 Speaker 1: saying that those are bad having a marriage or having 415 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:22,680 Speaker 1: children and that people can't be happy with it. But 416 00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,320 Speaker 1: I think it goes back to a conversation we have 417 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,200 Speaker 1: a lot that would kind of just have with that 418 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:31,600 Speaker 1: other article. There are just these inequalities that are baked 419 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:37,200 Speaker 1: into our society and it's how we're raised. And so yeah, 420 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,720 Speaker 1: like I've literally had fears and relationships because I knew 421 00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,560 Speaker 1: I would become I would do the extra work, I 422 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:46,120 Speaker 1: would pick up that slack and then that resentment would 423 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:50,800 Speaker 1: grow and it would be kind of just me being 424 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,760 Speaker 1: raised that way and the dude in this hetero normative 425 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:57,360 Speaker 1: sense being raised that way but knowing like it felt inevitable. 426 00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:00,560 Speaker 1: And we talk about communication all the time, and I 427 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:02,560 Speaker 1: do think it's important, but there's some things that are 428 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:08,240 Speaker 1: just hard to communicate because you've been raised differently, right, 429 00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:10,680 Speaker 1: And I do I like the point of you know, 430 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:14,280 Speaker 1: because we've also talked about that sort of societal judgment 431 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:16,000 Speaker 1: of like because look how sad she is and that 432 00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:20,720 Speaker 1: can impact um, how you view yourself. But I feel 433 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:25,040 Speaker 1: like that is also changing. It's becoming more maybe not normalized, 434 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:26,520 Speaker 1: but we see it more often. We talked about it 435 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,960 Speaker 1: more often of like, yeah, women are single and they're 436 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:34,560 Speaker 1: doing all right, they're doing the thing. Uh yeah, And 437 00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,760 Speaker 1: I do I like that point that because we like 438 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:41,640 Speaker 1: to paint these relationships and kind of the like nuclear 439 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:45,160 Speaker 1: family situation in such a golden like this is your success, 440 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:49,119 Speaker 1: this is the goal light. But yeah, you could meet 441 00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:52,480 Speaker 1: their dude, couldn't make you more miserable. And that was 442 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,320 Speaker 1: the other part to me, was like if I don't 443 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:58,040 Speaker 1: like them, so is it worth the compromise, then great. 444 00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:00,720 Speaker 1: If not, like, that's that converse nation. As in fact, 445 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 1: I had this conversation over this weekend when I was 446 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:05,680 Speaker 1: explaining that I was trying to buy a house and 447 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,399 Speaker 1: they're like, oh, yeah, buying it together. I was like, no, 448 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:10,399 Speaker 1: it's my house. Like I have very adamant like we 449 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,080 Speaker 1: are separate. We're together, but we're separate, and I like that. 450 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:15,720 Speaker 1: For the longest time, I thought I needed a relationship, 451 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,000 Speaker 1: but then after I got financially stable enough to take 452 00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,040 Speaker 1: care of myself, as in like I don't need a roommate, 453 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,720 Speaker 1: and like, then what's the point And there's nothing in 454 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:24,800 Speaker 1: me that really wants to be married. As much as 455 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 1: I love my partner, I'm good. I like where we're at. 456 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:31,400 Speaker 1: But yeah, that's the other part of this conversation is, yes, 457 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:35,120 Speaker 1: this is a big generalization. He admits it at the top. 458 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,960 Speaker 1: It's just going to be a big generalization. People were 459 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:42,360 Speaker 1: pissed in this conversation, except for the single women. They're like, hell, yeah, 460 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:46,800 Speaker 1: that's right, let him know. But and it is. It's 461 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,600 Speaker 1: a big generalization. We have to come back. Conversation. But 462 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,320 Speaker 1: if you want to be a single mother, then that's 463 00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:54,200 Speaker 1: fine too. Like the fact that that's the joy that 464 00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:57,639 Speaker 1: brings you, that's the delight that we see um. But 465 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,400 Speaker 1: her worth, even though you may love being a mother, 466 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:05,240 Speaker 1: should not be based on just being a mother. Unless 467 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:06,880 Speaker 1: that's the way they want to center it, then great, 468 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:10,119 Speaker 1: you do you, but you can't force that on others either, right, 469 00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:12,320 Speaker 1: And I think just to mention because we don't have 470 00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:13,840 Speaker 1: time to get into it right now, But I do 471 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:17,040 Speaker 1: think another piece of this is we don't provide support 472 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:22,040 Speaker 1: to mothers, and we also, as you said, as we've 473 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,920 Speaker 1: seen through the pandemic, we expect them to give up 474 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,760 Speaker 1: their financial livelihood and their jobs first or do it 475 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,240 Speaker 1: all at once, which means do you get no sleep 476 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,720 Speaker 1: and your health suffers and all the stuff. So I 477 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:36,400 Speaker 1: think like, if maybe if we lived in a society 478 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:40,960 Speaker 1: that valued women and women's work and raising children, whether 479 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,720 Speaker 1: it's anybody whoever is raising children, it's work. If we 480 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:48,640 Speaker 1: valued that, maybe these numbers in this narrative would be different. 481 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:52,200 Speaker 1: But I it totally makes sense to me that a 482 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:55,080 Speaker 1: pandemic hits, you're getting no support, you have no money, 483 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:56,720 Speaker 1: you have to take care of the kids, like of 484 00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:02,240 Speaker 1: course you're that's gonna affect your happy, right, um, And 485 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:04,280 Speaker 1: just to go back because you just reminded me from 486 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:07,360 Speaker 1: that first article where she talks about women expecting help 487 00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:10,600 Speaker 1: from birth to to death, that this whole idea that 488 00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:15,200 Speaker 1: liberal depends on government and telling government like, oh, you 489 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,280 Speaker 1: you really generalize that one. You're saying that we're not 490 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:22,360 Speaker 1: up worth unless we have children put our bodies to use, 491 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:24,720 Speaker 1: but at the same time that we are not worth 492 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:29,880 Speaker 1: giving assistance to our helping. That's interesting. That's interesting that 493 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,600 Speaker 1: you give no solutions but tell us how to find 494 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:37,600 Speaker 1: a way of being a value to society, right, Yeah, 495 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,840 Speaker 1: And that's that also that whole the perfect mother and 496 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:46,280 Speaker 1: that kind of Disney disneyfication of as a mother, you 497 00:29:46,360 --> 00:29:48,760 Speaker 1: can never feel depression or sadness or be tired like 498 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,440 Speaker 1: because you're a mother and it's the best thing ever, right, 499 00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,680 Speaker 1: which again can be very lovely, can be great, but 500 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:58,520 Speaker 1: can be very hard. It is very hard. And they 501 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:01,080 Speaker 1: think at their flowers and they shouldn't get assistance, and 502 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,640 Speaker 1: they should get help at the very least for the 503 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:07,000 Speaker 1: rest of their lives. Their bodies should be cared for 504 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,600 Speaker 1: by the government, because you're saying that's what our bodies 505 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:16,720 Speaker 1: are worth. So, which is it. Yeah, yeah, anyway, Okay, y'all, 506 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:20,640 Speaker 1: that's a lot. I know. But we have a part two, 507 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:22,920 Speaker 1: damn it. We do. We do, we do have a 508 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:25,280 Speaker 1: part two. But in the meantime, again, if you have 509 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,440 Speaker 1: any happy things for us to talk about, clearly we 510 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,760 Speaker 1: need that we would love to hear, then you can 511 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,200 Speaker 1: email us a step video, mom Stuff and I Hurt 512 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,120 Speaker 1: me dot com. You can find us on Instagram and 513 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,120 Speaker 1: Stuff I Never Told You are on Twitter at mom Stuff, 514 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:39,240 Speaker 1: podcast things. It's always to our super producer Christina, thank 515 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:41,440 Speaker 1: you well, thanks to you for listening Stuff I Never 516 00:30:41,440 --> 00:30:43,479 Speaker 1: told the protection I Heard Radio for more podcasts from 517 00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:45,520 Speaker 1: I Heard Radio? Is that you hurt Radio? 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