1 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, Emily Abadi here. You are listening to five 2 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: Minute Friday from Hurdle. What's up? It is a hectic 3 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:31,960 Speaker 1: weekend here in New York because it is New York 4 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: City Marathon weekend, and I am preparing for all things fun. 5 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 1: I've got my first event. I guess this is last 6 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 1: night by the time that you listen to this Thursday 7 00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:44,560 Speaker 1: night at the Old Man Run Club pop up, which 8 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:46,840 Speaker 1: is open through the end of the day. On Saturday, 9 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 1: I'm also hosting a shakeout and hang with the folks 10 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:54,720 Speaker 1: from Strava and Together at the Lot. Radio will be 11 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:57,600 Speaker 1: shaken out at nine thirty am and then we will 12 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: be having a panel discussion at eleven. I would love 13 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: to see you there, and of course cannot forget the 14 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,160 Speaker 1: Hurdler Huddle. It is this morning if you're listening to 15 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:10,360 Speaker 1: this in real time at eight thirty am in Flat 16 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:14,440 Speaker 1: Iron at Athleta, So come hang, eat a bagel. Top 17 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,520 Speaker 1: of mind right now. What I want to talk to 18 00:01:16,560 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 1: you about for five Minute Friday is navigating overwhelm Let's 19 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: let's be real. I get overwhelmed fairly regularly, but these 20 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 1: days I have strategies in place that help me navigate 21 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:35,000 Speaker 1: this feeling of being out of control. There's a lot 22 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 1: going on. Everything that's happening feels really heavy, I feel anxious, 23 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: et cetera. One of these strategies is proactive, and one 24 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:48,680 Speaker 1: of these strategies is reactive. The proactive strategy I have 25 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 1: for navigating overwhelm is starting days that feel like everest, 26 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 1: that feel heavy and like a lot with movement. Now. 27 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 1: Of course, simply lacing up and heading out for a 28 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 1: walk or run is a great thing to do, but 29 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,800 Speaker 1: on these days that feel really overwhelming, I almost find 30 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:10,640 Speaker 1: it more helpful to schedule in some sort of group 31 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 1: fitness situation. Maybe that is an actual workout class like 32 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 1: going to a Berry's boot camp, or an Orange Theory 33 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 1: or a hot yoga class, or perhaps it's simply scheduling 34 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: a sweat date. But by giving myself a specific time 35 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,520 Speaker 1: that this movement needs to happen and then adding an 36 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:33,919 Speaker 1: extra layer of accountability, whether it be because I paid 37 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 1: for a class or I know that someone's relying on 38 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 1: me to do this thing at this time, it guarantees 39 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,640 Speaker 1: that I won't shove this off because of my overwhelm. 40 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,960 Speaker 1: I know, without a doubt for a fact that I 41 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:52,239 Speaker 1: will feel better after moving my body and getting those 42 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 1: endorphins first thing in the morning. It really lays the foundation. 43 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 1: It's a keystone habit for me to feel better in 44 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 1: my body as the day goes on and that inevitable 45 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 1: overwhelm kicks in. Now. The second thing that I do 46 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:11,080 Speaker 1: when I am struggling with overwhelm, the reactive thing, is 47 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 1: I take to my notes app even better if I 48 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,760 Speaker 1: can take to an actual piece of paper and a 49 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:19,800 Speaker 1: pen right, and in the exercise that I do, I 50 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:23,360 Speaker 1: write down all the things that I'm thinking and feeling. So, 51 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,040 Speaker 1: say it's one o'clock in the afternoon, I feel like 52 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,120 Speaker 1: my to do list is a mile long. By writing 53 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:33,079 Speaker 1: down where I'm at and being able to look at 54 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: my thoughts and feelings on paper, I am then able 55 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 1: to tackle one thing at a time to see what 56 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 1: is fact what is fiction. It's an important opportunity to 57 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 1: then go through the reframe. Rather than saying the sentence 58 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:53,760 Speaker 1: I am overwhelmed, shift it to I feel overwhelmed, passing 59 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 1: through me right, knowing that it is not a permanent state, 60 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 1: that it is temporary, and then you have the opportunity 61 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 1: to decide how you are going to act and move 62 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 1: through that state of overwhelm. So my two strategies again 63 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 1: moving my body first thing in the morning, ideally a 64 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:18,360 Speaker 1: committed movement, whether with a friend or a dedicated class. 65 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,600 Speaker 1: And then the second strategy writing things down, doing some 66 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,280 Speaker 1: sort of a brain dump, having a moment to let 67 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 1: go of everything without judgment whatsoever, separate the facts from 68 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,240 Speaker 1: the feelings, and then come up with some sort of 69 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:34,839 Speaker 1: an action plan on how I can move forward and 70 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:38,239 Speaker 1: have grace with myself. Something else that I've spoken about 71 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,000 Speaker 1: on the pod, and I'll throw this in kind of 72 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 1: as a cherry on top to navigating overwhelm is a 73 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,480 Speaker 1: breath work exercise. So I'm a huge fan of the 74 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,839 Speaker 1: box breath that's inhale for four, hold at the top 75 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:54,599 Speaker 1: for four, exhale for four, hold at the bottom for four. 76 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 1: I'll do a box breath for one minute. I'll send 77 00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 1: a timer on my iPhone. And as much as I 78 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 1: love using the open app, just doing this format it 79 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:08,479 Speaker 1: takes out the guesswork for me, especially when it feels 80 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:10,920 Speaker 1: like if I have to add one more thing into 81 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,440 Speaker 1: the mix, if I have to tap one more icon, 82 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: or do one more thing, or do one more scroll 83 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,120 Speaker 1: that I'm going to lose it. You don't need to 84 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:21,840 Speaker 1: lose it. You've got this. And remember again I said this, 85 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:26,480 Speaker 1: but overwhelm is just something that passes through you. It 86 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 1: will pass. I cannot emphasize that enough. So know that 87 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:34,840 Speaker 1: you are capable of handling whatever's on your to do list, 88 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,720 Speaker 1: whatever is in front of you, wherever you're at. Know 89 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 1: that you will be able to get over this hurdle. 90 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 1: My question for you this week, and I'm really curious 91 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 1: about this. I would love it if you tag me 92 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:51,200 Speaker 1: with your responses over on social How do you navigate overwhelm? 93 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 1: What do you do when life feels heavy? And now 94 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:56,480 Speaker 1: a listener question. 95 00:05:56,880 --> 00:06:00,080 Speaker 2: Hy Emily often talk about your community, your friends, and 96 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,239 Speaker 2: the people that keep you going, But I was wondering 97 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:07,440 Speaker 2: if you ever had a friendship breakup intentional or unintentional, 98 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 2: and have you dealt with it? 99 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:13,120 Speaker 1: Thanks oh Man. Friend breakups are really challenging. I would 100 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:17,600 Speaker 1: argue that they're more difficult than romantic breakups. I had 101 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,840 Speaker 1: my first friend breakup, I would say about eight years ago, 102 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 1: when I found out that someone that I really trusted 103 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,359 Speaker 1: and was a close friend of mine at the time 104 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 1: was seeing the same person that I was seeing and 105 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 1: didn't tell me. I had absolutely no idea. It was 106 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 1: truly truly wild in that experience. I just let her 107 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:43,480 Speaker 1: know that I was really hurt and I was incapable 108 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,279 Speaker 1: of continuing on in a relationship with her. And despite 109 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,200 Speaker 1: being really hurt and also knowing what I needed to 110 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,359 Speaker 1: do for myself, it didn't make the breakup any easier 111 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 1: because I missed her in my life. I knew, however, 112 00:06:55,640 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 1: that there would be and that there are people that 113 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,080 Speaker 1: value me and everything that I bring to the table, 114 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:06,560 Speaker 1: and those are the people that I want to pour into. 115 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:10,360 Speaker 1: Those are the people that deserve my energy. I have 116 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:15,440 Speaker 1: since that first friend breakup had less dramatic friend breakups. 117 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,880 Speaker 1: Let's say, whether it be that two people just kind 118 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:22,080 Speaker 1: of grow in different directions, or perhaps you start to 119 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:26,000 Speaker 1: realize that maybe you have different values or priorities than 120 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: you once did, that the way that you are moving 121 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 1: forward is a little bit different now, and that's okay. 122 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 1: Know that it can be both. You can mourn the 123 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:39,960 Speaker 1: ending of a relationship and also know that it is 124 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:43,440 Speaker 1: the right thing for you to do. There are different 125 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,040 Speaker 1: ways to approach a friend breakup. You can either address 126 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:49,280 Speaker 1: it or if you feel as though you're simply growing 127 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:52,600 Speaker 1: in different directions. Maybe there doesn't need to be some 128 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: sort of big conversation. If you do feel as though 129 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:01,320 Speaker 1: you need to step away from a friendship, I would 130 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: do it in the way that you would hope someone 131 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:06,280 Speaker 1: would do it for you, which means that and I 132 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,360 Speaker 1: have done this in the past. I have said something like, listen, 133 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 1: I have to exercise my boundaries right now, and I'm 134 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:18,280 Speaker 1: just going through a lot in this moment, and this 135 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 1: relationship isn't one that I can really pour into at 136 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:25,040 Speaker 1: this time. I know that's not easy to hear, and 137 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 1: it hasn't been an easy thing for me to say. 138 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:32,680 Speaker 1: But as difficult as that initial breakup period has been 139 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,840 Speaker 1: for me in the past, I can say for certain 140 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,839 Speaker 1: that I am better for trusting my gut and moving 141 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,679 Speaker 1: forward in a way that is best for Emily. That 142 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,840 Speaker 1: is the you know, the sentence that I've been working 143 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,520 Speaker 1: on this year, the question that I keep asking myself 144 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:50,080 Speaker 1: what is best for Emily? What is the thing that's 145 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,559 Speaker 1: going to make me feel better? Sometimes we get wrapped 146 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 1: up in relationships because we feel as though we should 147 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,640 Speaker 1: be doing something, we should be showing up for someone, 148 00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:01,839 Speaker 1: we should be the person that they can call, even 149 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:05,400 Speaker 1: when doing those things doesn't make us feel good, that 150 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:09,000 Speaker 1: time has passed, that friendship has perhaps run its course. 151 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:14,000 Speaker 1: And so I tell you that, yes, friendship breakups are hard, 152 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,960 Speaker 1: and yes, you are worthy of people that make you 153 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:20,560 Speaker 1: feel full and excited and good and that build up 154 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 1: your energy, and that with time, no matter how difficult 155 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 1: a friend breakup is, you will recover and you'll be 156 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,880 Speaker 1: better for it. That's it for this week. Make sure 157 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:33,240 Speaker 1: you're following along with Hurdle over on social It's at 158 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 1: Hurdle Podcast. I'm over at Emily Abody. I'll see you 159 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 1: out there this week in New York, another hurdle conquered. 160 00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:41,600 Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time