Speaker 1: Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
Speaker 1: week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
Speaker 1: the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
Speaker 1: crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the rich
Speaker 1: pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot takes
Speaker 1: break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Speaker 1: Maller starts right now in the a every Where for
Speaker 1: the final time in the year twenty twenty two. The
Speaker 1: Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny G Radio, we
Speaker 1: bid ado to the year two. Danny G and I
Speaker 1: could sit here and reminisce about what we're gonna remember
Speaker 1: from the year, but that would be generic, boring sports
Speaker 1: Stark Radio. I don't know that we want to do that.
Speaker 1: All I will say is that I'm very happy that
Speaker 1: things got somewhat back to normal in the year two,
Speaker 1: because totally fucked up. It's good to see society getting
Speaker 1: back to normal. I was very happy about that, and
Speaker 1: hopefully that will continue for the rest of our lives.
Speaker 1: That's my my deep thought of the show. As you
Speaker 1: celebrate new beginnings in I slipped back to Yes, you
Speaker 1: fell back in the way back Machine. We will get
Speaker 1: to that. We've got the joy Meter, paying your Dudes,
Speaker 1: joining the Club and Criminal Underworld, plus pop goes the
Speaker 1: Culture and we have Backscratcher as well. So a lot
Speaker 1: to get to buckle up. I'm ready to bring the
Speaker 1: gas spicy hot. Addition of the Fifth Hour with Ben
Speaker 1: Maller and Danny ge and so are Lee eat my
Speaker 1: lead anyway on this podcast comes from the season of giving.
Speaker 1: Oh what a fun season it has been here. We
Speaker 1: had our family holiday gathering, the Mallard family, mostly my
Speaker 1: wife's family, but we had a big holiday gathering last weekend,
Speaker 1: a big events and family from near and nearer and
Speaker 1: a few people from far stopped by the Mallard mansion.
Speaker 1: And it's pretty much the same setup as the Ugly
Speaker 1: Sweater party, except it's not an ugly sweater party. It's
Speaker 1: a shin dig to celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah and all that.
Speaker 1: So we had a massive spread of food and I
Speaker 1: was tasked with picking up the food. I was the
Speaker 1: messenger boy that had to pick up the food. My
Speaker 1: wife had ordered some chicken strips for the party, so
Speaker 1: I arrived at the Raising Canes location. They closed early
Speaker 1: on Christmas Eves. So I got there. They said to
Speaker 1: pick up the chicken fifteen, you know, fifteen minutes or
Speaker 1: so before they closed. So I got there when I
Speaker 1: was supposed to. They closed at three o'clock, so I
Speaker 1: had to get there like two forty five. So I
Speaker 1: showed up right around where I needed to be there
Speaker 1: actually got there little early, so I played on my
Speaker 1: phone for like five minutes in the parking lot until
Speaker 1: I needed to go in. So I walked in and
Speaker 1: I told the person I'm here to pick up a
Speaker 1: bunch of chicken strips. And I said, well, what's the name?
Speaker 1: And I gave my name and I said, that's it's
Speaker 1: my name. So they went back and they're running around
Speaker 1: this The guy's talking to some other people on the
Speaker 1: back there and they're going back and forth, and then
Speaker 1: they come back and and they're like, we we don't
Speaker 1: have that order. And I said, how can you not
Speaker 1: have the order? I mean, my wife ordered the food.
Speaker 1: That means you got to have the orders she's and
Speaker 1: and so then the manager come Now we're at the
Speaker 1: stage where the manager comes over and is explaining that
Speaker 1: they don't have the order the food that that that
Speaker 1: we need and so then so then I get on
Speaker 1: the phone with my my wife. I'm like, well i'm here.
Speaker 1: They say they didn't you didn't order it. You must
Speaker 1: not have ordered it, and it must be a milestay.
Speaker 1: She said, no, I ordered it. I talked to somebody
Speaker 1: on the phone. So now, okay, I'll talk. So then
Speaker 1: I tell the manager at the raising cans. I'm like, listen,
Speaker 1: I mean, my wife swears she talked to somebody on
Speaker 1: the phone. She said, whoa, it's a phone order. She says,
Speaker 1: that's totally different. That's a totally different thing. And this
Speaker 1: woman is like explaining to me that they have two
Speaker 1: completely different systems. They have the online order and then
Speaker 1: the phone order, and they these things do not cross.
Speaker 1: Not in my head. Damn, I don't give a ship,
Speaker 1: you know. I just want the food. I gotta get
Speaker 1: out of here. I don't get I don't get anyway.
Speaker 1: Uh paid for the food. I mean the woman thought
Speaker 1: I was speaking speaking cling on when I went in
Speaker 1: there and asked for the chicken. And uh. Anyway, Eventually
Speaker 1: everything worked out, so figured out at the fifty ninth minute,
Speaker 1: fifty ninths second before the clock struck midnight and the party.
Speaker 1: We are gonna have no food at the party. So
Speaker 1: I went back to the Mallard mansion for the parte.
Speaker 1: And this is what this is where I need your help,
Speaker 1: not only you, Danny, but I need you listening to
Speaker 1: this to help me because I believe I'm on the
Speaker 1: right side of history and not the wrong side of history.
Speaker 1: But I'm not sure. So let me explain the situation here,
Speaker 1: and you are your judge, Danny g and you make
Speaker 1: the call on this. So at the holiday parties, some
Speaker 1: people brought some gifts and that caused some controversy. Oh boy,
Speaker 1: so I need to get your help on this. Now.
Speaker 1: My my sister in law and brother in law gave us,
Speaker 1: me and my wife what was described as a couple's gift,
Speaker 1: a couple's gift, the gift we could both enjoy. They
Speaker 1: gave you a massage. Not quite so they presented a
Speaker 1: giant box. Now they explained prior to this that they
Speaker 1: the gift they were giving, they were re gifting that
Speaker 1: they they had gotten it that my brother in law
Speaker 1: had got and he works in television, and it was
Speaker 1: a gift that they gave the crew. And but they
Speaker 1: thought it would be perfect for us as a couple's gifts.
Speaker 1: So giant box and my wife opens it up and
Speaker 1: I kind of opened it on. My wife really opened
Speaker 1: and and it was a very nice gift that was
Speaker 1: in the box. It was very watching the box. It
Speaker 1: turns out it was it was a real gift, as
Speaker 1: we said, but it, uh, it was very nice. I
Speaker 1: gave a thank you. I said, this is a wonderful gift.
Speaker 1: I appreciate that very much. Inside was an espresso maker. Okay, uh,
Speaker 1: so it was very nice and and that was that,
Speaker 1: and I said thank you, and I moved on. My wife.
Speaker 1: I don't want to say she was upset, but she
Speaker 1: was mildly annoyed, Danny at She felt I should have
Speaker 1: been more appreciative of the gift, that I was not,
Speaker 1: that I did not show the proper amount of love
Speaker 1: for the gift. She was unhappy with my My joy
Speaker 1: meter needed to be closer to at ten and I
Speaker 1: was at like a four and she needed at a ten.
Speaker 1: So let me make my case here and I will
Speaker 1: present my case and then I will rest, and then
Speaker 1: I will allow the judge and you, Danny, to determine,
Speaker 1: and you the listener. If you want an email, me
Speaker 1: and tell me what you think about this. So ay,
Speaker 1: it was presented as a gift for both me and
Speaker 1: the wife, a gift we would both enjoy. The problem is,
Speaker 1: I don't drink coffee. This is a coffee maker. My
Speaker 1: wife drinks coffee. I don't drink coffee, and I'm happy
Speaker 1: for her that she has a coffee It's a very
Speaker 1: nice machine. Is a several dar but I will have
Speaker 1: zero use for this, right I be I. It's not
Speaker 1: like I was a total douche. I was polite. I
Speaker 1: said thank you, that's great. I just didn't bend over backwards.
Speaker 1: And and so that was the second ware. And then
Speaker 1: then the final thing parts sea this to me, and
Speaker 1: it's pretty open. I've been very It's the one thing
Speaker 1: I can talk about at parties is it's the real
Speaker 1: odd thing about me is I don't drink coffee. And
Speaker 1: I do an overnight radio show and I don't drink coffee,
Speaker 1: and people are blown away by that. So it's a
Speaker 1: great conversation starter. Everyone in the room knew about it,
Speaker 1: that I don't drink coffee. It would be equivalent of
Speaker 1: giving someone giving me a coffee maker would be akin
Speaker 1: to giving someone in my family who's a vegan a
Speaker 1: subscription to Omaha Steaks, Right, it would be the same.
Speaker 1: They get the same use out of it. You know.
Speaker 1: It's like or if I said, in one couple, you know,
Speaker 1: a couple of one of them eats me, the other
Speaker 1: one doesn't. I said, this is a great couple's gift.
Speaker 1: You guys are gonna enjoy this so much. Here's a
Speaker 1: subscription to stakes. Every month you'll get a different cind
Speaker 1: of meat that will be delivered to your front door.
Speaker 1: So that's my that's my argument, Danny G. How do
Speaker 1: you see it? Let me ask a couple of questions. First,
Speaker 1: all right, your wife e does she start her day
Speaker 1: kind of grumpy before she gets her coffee? Well, she
Speaker 1: claims that she's not a human being until she's had
Speaker 1: a cup of cough. That's all right, because I've heard
Speaker 1: that before too. Like you, there's plenty of women who
Speaker 1: say that, like, oh my god, don't speak to me
Speaker 1: until I've had my coffee. And it's a meme. It's
Speaker 1: a joke, but women say it half jokingly because they
Speaker 1: really mean it. In that case, it is kind of
Speaker 1: a couple's gift because if your girl not your woman
Speaker 1: in particular, but just women in general. If it allows
Speaker 1: us to not have to have a bitchy significant other,
Speaker 1: then it kind of is a couple's gift. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not liking what I'm hearing here, Danny, and I
Speaker 1: gotta tell you I'm not. I don't. I don't think
Speaker 1: you're a good judge. But you know, men are supposed
Speaker 1: to stay together here, Danny, But no, here's my wife
Speaker 1: has successfully been able to navigate the coffee this entire time.
Speaker 1: She's found a way to get the coffee, and she's
Speaker 1: lived fine, and she figures it out and and all that,
Speaker 1: and so it's not like this is something where she
Speaker 1: hasn't been able to get coffee. It's not like we're
Speaker 1: in the Sahara desert water and we're getting water now.
Speaker 1: It's not that. Okay, one last quick question. I know
Speaker 1: a lot of guys listening to this right now have
Speaker 1: gone through this same thing. If you were to look
Speaker 1: at a bank statement for the month, are there a
Speaker 1: lot of coffee charges? Oh? God, yes, I think that
Speaker 1: the reason Starbucks stock is as high as it is
Speaker 1: is because of my wife. Absolutely, no question, no question
Speaker 1: about women, especially when they go run errands and go shopping.
Speaker 1: There's something about I gotta go through the Starbucks drive
Speaker 1: through first, and then it's like they can't function and
Speaker 1: run errands unless they have a big Starbucks in their hand.
Speaker 1: This is correct. However, I will play devil's advocate. I
Speaker 1: will point out that this will while it will limit
Speaker 1: the Starbucks, it will not end the Starbucks. That still,
Speaker 1: when out and about, when appropriate, there will be runs
Speaker 1: to the Starbucks on the Starbucks app on her phone,
Speaker 1: she will be ordering said Starbucks. So it's now now.
Speaker 1: I would agree with you if this cut out all Starbucks,
Speaker 1: that this is the this machine is like a gift
Speaker 1: from the gods and no more Starbucks. But that's not
Speaker 1: going to be the case. No. I feel like on
Speaker 1: the thank you and appreciative Ben Mallory scale of one
Speaker 1: to ten, you out of five or six would have
Speaker 1: been fine. Your wife should have been the one out
Speaker 1: an eight bending over backwards to thank them. You could
Speaker 1: have been the robin to her batman for that gift.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, I stand by my position, and as
Speaker 1: someone that is not part of the colt that drinks coffee,
Speaker 1: I felt greatly. I don't say I was offended the gift. Shoot,
Speaker 1: here's my position. The gift should have been presented as
Speaker 1: a gift for her. Yeah. I would have been fine
Speaker 1: with it. But when you told me you're giving me
Speaker 1: a gift, I'm thinking, well, this is exciting, this is
Speaker 1: something I can you know. And I open it up
Speaker 1: and it's like a lump of coal for me. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what the hell you know? Anyway, all right, I'm married.
Speaker 1: My wife wants to dress up. She um moving on
Speaker 1: from that. Hey, your dudes, we'd like to welcome Danny
Speaker 1: g Yeah, it's your bar mitzvah. Here, it's your sweet sixteen.
Speaker 1: You've become Uh, you've become one of us, Danny, You've
Speaker 1: crossed over the rubicon. Congratulations, I dodged COVID. We were
Speaker 1: on the third year of it. Yeah, right, when did you?
Speaker 1: Did you know how you got it? Were you at
Speaker 1: some event where somebody had it? Or you have no idea?
Speaker 1: I have no idea. I mean I use about ten
Speaker 1: gobs of hand sanitizer every fifteen minutes, and uh I
Speaker 1: at work, I wiped down the producers station with tons
Speaker 1: of Clorox wipes. In fact, I get some snide remarks
Speaker 1: from are you going to use that whole thing a
Speaker 1: Clarox wipes and I'm like, yep, I am your filthy animals.
Speaker 1: So Jonas Knox and I were the two that would
Speaker 1: always wipe the workstation down. This was pre COVID. Not
Speaker 1: as bad as uh, your boy, what's the famous host
Speaker 1: who doesn't shake people's hands, how a ding ding? Ben?
Speaker 1: Just congratulations, Um, you know, not as bad as Howie Mandel,
Speaker 1: but definitely. You know, some of us grew up with
Speaker 1: parents or a parent who was psycho about germs. That's
Speaker 1: my mom. My mom carried hand sanitizer before it was
Speaker 1: a thing. She always had white. She always made us
Speaker 1: wash our hands a hundred times a day. My mom
Speaker 1: was super psycho still is. So just for some background,
Speaker 1: I haven't been careless with any of it, and I
Speaker 1: feel like that's why I dodged it all these years.
Speaker 1: So I'm thinking, Ben, that it was dirty Las Vegas.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking for Southwest in particular, was the culprit Well,
Speaker 1: you're fortunate that you you flew Southwest prior to the
Speaker 1: last week. I caught one of the last Southwest flights
Speaker 1: that actually flew well Southwest recover from this that I
Speaker 1: don't know but you're you're gonna recover from COVID before
Speaker 1: Southwest Airlines recovers from what the last last week has
Speaker 1: been for that airline. Geez, Louise, for sure, I'm almost better.
Speaker 1: You're you're you're almost over it though, right If you
Speaker 1: sound pretty good, you sound good. The reason I took
Speaker 1: one of the tests that you and I got at
Speaker 1: the Super Bowl in l A. They were giving away
Speaker 1: free COVID tests and at the time, places were trying
Speaker 1: to scalp these tests for what hundred bucks? Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: they were there. You couldn't find them for a while.
Speaker 1: They were all the stores were sold out. Yeah, lines
Speaker 1: of people waiting to buy these stupid COVID tests back
Speaker 1: in the day. And these little companies, especially some of
Speaker 1: the little urgent cares, were totally taking advantage of everybody.
Speaker 1: Um well, you and I we went to Radio Row
Speaker 1: in l A. And they were giving away these free
Speaker 1: COVID tests. So we kept getting back in line, and
Speaker 1: our joke was we were going to sell them on
Speaker 1: the on the black market. Um, so I took. The
Speaker 1: reason I took the test on Christmas morning was because
Speaker 1: my girl I just thought I had a bad head cold,
Speaker 1: but my girl made scrambled eggs and bacon, and I'm hyped.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, we only get bacon a few
Speaker 1: times a year. It's a treat. I take a bite
Speaker 1: of the bacon. I can't taste it. I couldn't taste
Speaker 1: the syrup. I couldn't taste the waffle. I couldn't taste
Speaker 1: the eggs. I literally got scared ben because it felt
Speaker 1: like somebody had scraped the taste buds off of my tongue.
Speaker 1: Bake taste like now. I also thought, damn, this actually
Speaker 1: could be a good diet. If this goes on for
Speaker 1: a while, I'm not gonna eat anymore, because what fun
Speaker 1: is it if you can't taste anything? Well, you could
Speaker 1: do that, or you could go the other direction, said,
Speaker 1: just give me some vegetables. I can't taste those, like
Speaker 1: the food you don't like that are good for you.
Speaker 1: You could go the other direction and be like, I'll
Speaker 1: just eat nothing but broccoli and cauliflower. It'd be great.
Speaker 1: Who cares? Yeah, that's actually a good point. You could
Speaker 1: turn your health around. Um, it got me, It finally
Speaker 1: got me. I'm part of your club. Now, part of
Speaker 1: the club. And see, now you know for sure that
Speaker 1: it's not that bad, right, you know, it's you're sick,
Speaker 1: but you've been sick and you'll be sick more in
Speaker 1: your life before you check out, and so you can
Speaker 1: deal with it, and it's a manageable situation. I wish
Speaker 1: I I have a buddy of mine I used to
Speaker 1: work with in radio who I wanted to see this week.
Speaker 1: I had some time off from the radio show, and
Speaker 1: he will not meet me because he's afraid of getting
Speaker 1: COVID and he doesn't want to leave. He's still wanted
Speaker 1: these guys. He will not leave his house, And like,
Speaker 1: what what is the point of living? You know, you
Speaker 1: gotta be around people. Otherwise you're gonna be dead forever.
Speaker 1: You'll be in the ground or burned up or whatever.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna be around people. But while you're alive,
Speaker 1: you gotta be around people. Two guys is enough for me.
Speaker 1: The man enjoy me very very good on that. So
Speaker 1: the criminal underworld, what is this all about? You ask
Speaker 1: a brief tale? So I go back to the holidays, Sware,
Speaker 1: during that particular social events, we had the white Elephant
Speaker 1: gift exchange. Does your family do that? Danny g at
Speaker 1: the the white elephant gift exchange. You know you don't
Speaker 1: do it. Yeah, So this is the main event, and
Speaker 1: it's something I never did up until I got married
Speaker 1: and started going out with a wife because it's it's
Speaker 1: always fascinating to me how excited people get for crap.
Speaker 1: Like my conspiracy on this, I think I might have
Speaker 1: said this on the podcast, but my conspiracy theory has
Speaker 1: been that this has been designed by robber barons of
Speaker 1: business to get people to buy stuff they would not
Speaker 1: normally buy, like gag gifts and like weird looking socks.
Speaker 1: And what was the budget, Well, the I think the budget,
Speaker 1: I don't know that we even had a budget. I
Speaker 1: think we spent about you know, bucks, like we got
Speaker 1: a couple of gifts, and um, we actually did okay.
Speaker 1: But this is just like I feel like the whole
Speaker 1: white elephant thing is just like to help commerce out.
Speaker 1: And we actually got a little mini car vacuum which
Speaker 1: was useful and some flashlights which I felt was was useful.
Speaker 1: But it's not so much about the white elephant gift.
Speaker 1: But while the party was going on, it was mostly adults,
Speaker 1: but there were some younger cousins that are you know,
Speaker 1: little kids that were running amuck and these kids man
Speaker 1: like a wild pack of desperadoes, these little children with
Speaker 1: all these adults boozing it up, and these little kids
Speaker 1: there and it was it was insane. They were unsupervised,
Speaker 1: their parents weren't watching him. They're on the prowl. And
Speaker 1: it turns out that my four year old cousin, he
Speaker 1: just turned four years old, is actually the ringleader of
Speaker 1: a criminal underworld. I did not realize this until after
Speaker 1: the party, But while I was socializing and my wife
Speaker 1: was socializing, my my little four year old, pint size
Speaker 1: cousin was pilfering the Mallard manchion. And after the party,
Speaker 1: we noticed there were some things that we put out,
Speaker 1: some toys and some books for the kids to play with,
Speaker 1: and we noticed that a big chunk of this stuff
Speaker 1: was not there, and we're like, what the what the fuck?
Speaker 1: You know, who would steal this stuff? And then I
Speaker 1: recalled seeing my four year old pal. He had a
Speaker 1: he was a little a little kid. He's carrying on
Speaker 1: a box, and so I put two and two together.
Speaker 1: I'm like, wait a minute, you know that's I had
Speaker 1: this epiphany, what's in the box? I called his his
Speaker 1: mom my my first cousin. I said, I think we
Speaker 1: got a situation. I think we got a problem. And
Speaker 1: it turns out that this pint size kleptomaniac had filled
Speaker 1: this this he's a little kid. He filled this box
Speaker 1: with all kinds of toys and books and random ship
Speaker 1: from the house and he watch it and his parents
Speaker 1: didn't even notice because because they were in their own
Speaker 1: world and all that. His parents, I guess we're schnockered,
Speaker 1: and they didn't realize what was going on. And that's crazy. Now.
Speaker 1: Fortunately they brought over the box and they put everything.
Speaker 1: You know, we got everything back. But man, this kid
Speaker 1: is like a future cat burglar. Man, this kid, she's
Speaker 1: four years old. He stole a budget put in the
Speaker 1: box and walked out and oh man, right out of
Speaker 1: the Mallard mansion with all kinds of crap. That's not
Speaker 1: so you're gonna be walking in your footsteps getting all
Speaker 1: the free samples from Costco for lunch. Yeah, okay, I'm
Speaker 1: fine with that. Man. He should be a media freeloader,
Speaker 1: is what he should do someday. Although it's hard to
Speaker 1: do that these days. Back in the old days, media
Speaker 1: freeloader easy to do these days not as much. So
Speaker 1: that was my my tell the backscratcher, Danny, do you
Speaker 1: think we got any messages, any messages to support holiday
Speaker 1: week this last week? The backscratcher on the Fifth Hour
Speaker 1: podcast page. We beg every week. Well, I don't beg.
Speaker 1: We ask kindly for people to put nice reviews out,
Speaker 1: and I think we got any this week. I think
Speaker 1: that you're too busy with the holidays and family and friends,
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna say no. Turns out you are wrong.
Speaker 1: We got one. We got all Hey burg Gibby is
Speaker 1: the name on here. I don't think that's the real name.
Speaker 1: And the headline in this five stars podcast porn podcast
Speaker 1: porn says, if I haven't heard uh, if I haven't
Speaker 1: heard of other kinds of addiction, this would be podcast born.
Speaker 1: I can't wait for the next podcast. Amazing job, BM
Speaker 1: and d G keep it going great. Hello from Nolans.
Speaker 1: So the listener I don't know his name, but he
Speaker 1: is listening in Louisiana and the Bayou. So thank you
Speaker 1: for that. Appreciate it very much. We have a little
Speaker 1: time for pop goes the culture, so you know that
Speaker 1: means the Ohio all there is he ready to go poo.
Speaker 1: And these are actual pop culture stories, Danny, that we
Speaker 1: have put together from the last week, things that stood
Speaker 1: out to us. I saw this go viral on social
Speaker 1: media while I was away from my watch post. Did
Speaker 1: you see, Danny. There is a woman that is such
Speaker 1: a dead ringer for Jim Carey that she says people
Speaker 1: regularly come up to her and then are disappointed when
Speaker 1: they realize she is not Jim Carrey. Have you seen this? No,
Speaker 1: I have not seen a picture of her yet. All right,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna send you a link here. All
Speaker 1: this like, let me, I gotta click a few buttons,
Speaker 1: but I gotta tell you. Her name is Heather I
Speaker 1: believe was her name, And of course this on TikTok.
Speaker 1: She looks just like Jim Carrey. Like it's it's it's
Speaker 1: really crazy, Like it's like you wonder, like is this
Speaker 1: like something? Maybe there's only like a finite number, Danny.
Speaker 1: Of way ways people can look. And I just sent
Speaker 1: you the link there and you can check it out.
Speaker 1: Heather Shaw is her name, She's on TikTok. She's an
Speaker 1: influencer and she has two point two million followers. How
Speaker 1: is that fucking possible. Wo uh yeah right, yeah, she
Speaker 1: looks you know those filters where you could make yourself
Speaker 1: look like you know, men were making themselves look like
Speaker 1: women and women were making themselves look like men. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this looks like one of those filters where the real
Speaker 1: Jim Carrey made himself. You know, I want to see
Speaker 1: what I would look like as a woman. Now. I
Speaker 1: want to know if they were to procreate this woman
Speaker 1: Heather and and Jim Carey, what would the kid look like.
Speaker 1: I think we know what the kid would look like,
Speaker 1: but maybe not. I don't know. I mean it's it
Speaker 1: would be money. The kid would probably come out with
Speaker 1: red hair and look nothing like either of them. Yeah
Speaker 1: that's true. But but man, I mean that is uh
Speaker 1: he said that is nuts. So yeah, she looks like
Speaker 1: Fire Marshall Bill for sure. Yeah that is uh. I
Speaker 1: mean this is this is similar to when I was
Speaker 1: in my twenties and I used to have to sign
Speaker 1: autographs as Brad Pitt. Yeah, I'm sure very similar. Yes, Uh,
Speaker 1: when I was a kid, I had to sign autographs
Speaker 1: as the fat kid from stand Alone. I had uh
Speaker 1: yeah I did do that anyway, all right, Uh jen
Speaker 1: Z TikTokers have been going around. This is a new
Speaker 1: TikTok trend which doesn't involve injuring people. They've been going
Speaker 1: up to boomers, Danny and pretending that their favorite celebrities
Speaker 1: have died to get their reactions like, I can't believe
Speaker 1: it's so and so is dead and uh, of course
Speaker 1: they're not actually dead. They're just pulling the fast one.
Speaker 1: Sounds like like the ones doing this are gonna die prematurely.
Speaker 1: Some sleezeball activity there by those tiktoker's. Bad job by them.
Speaker 1: I saw this with this big Arctic blast that has
Speaker 1: been striking across America over the last ten days or
Speaker 1: so and dropping the frigid bomb all over the place.
Speaker 1: People that have been owning Tesla's not very happy. Multiple
Speaker 1: people reporting that the Tesla's are failing to work in
Speaker 1: the harsh winter weather, that the Tesla's not designed for
Speaker 1: the frigid conditions here, Danny, did you see the Bills
Speaker 1: players when they got back from Chicago. It was great? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was All their cars were covered with ten ft
Speaker 1: of snow and ice that I would assume it wouldn't
Speaker 1: be working well. The funniest though, Danny, and I think
Speaker 1: you you'd agree with me in this was the video
Speaker 1: one of the guys and the bills was that he
Speaker 1: was driving a white pickup truck. Oh yeah, he left
Speaker 1: the ice on top. It looked like he had the
Speaker 1: iceberg that sunk the Titanic on the back of his car.
Speaker 1: Was larious and it's like, I got it off enough,
Speaker 1: I'm ready to go. I don't give a ship what's
Speaker 1: in the back. I'm going for it man, And he went.
Speaker 1: He just dug around the sides and then he backed out.
Speaker 1: He left everything on top. Yeah, but isn't that gonna
Speaker 1: come flying off if he's driving and hit a car
Speaker 1: behind him? Though? I mean, wouldn't you think the snow
Speaker 1: is gonna come flying off the back at some point
Speaker 1: while he's driving. I don't know. That was pretty pretty nuts,
Speaker 1: so I'm speaking of nuts. Soll police in Mexico they
Speaker 1: did a traffic stop. Did you see what they found
Speaker 1: in the car? Wedged between suitcases in the trunk of
Speaker 1: a car in Mexico, Danny bunch of hookers and cocaine.
Speaker 1: They found a tiger cub and actually tiger cub had
Speaker 1: been wedged in between a couple of suitcases, much to
Speaker 1: the dismay of law enforcement. And yeah, I guess this
Speaker 1: couple decided they wanted a nice little pet tiger. And
Speaker 1: it was a little a little bit. At what point,
Speaker 1: at what age does the tiger become a killing machine?
Speaker 1: It didn't look it looks like a stuffed animal. You'd
Speaker 1: get it Disneyland in the video. But I know that's
Speaker 1: not gonna it's not gonna stay like that right at
Speaker 1: some point, it's going to going to be disasters. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's like a little baby thing like that. It looks
Speaker 1: like the size of like a small dog like it
Speaker 1: doesn't have an exotic pet? What would you choose? And
Speaker 1: it wouldn't It wouldn't hurt me, It wouldn't kill me,
Speaker 1: but I'd be fine with it. The city would give you, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, special permission. A lion or an alligator, that
Speaker 1: would be kind of cool. You know, maybe a rhino
Speaker 1: are similar. I was allowed to have whatever I wanted.
Speaker 1: It wouldn't hurt me. In a perfect world, and I
Speaker 1: could have that. I mean, think of it. Come wouldn't
Speaker 1: be kind of cool Because we've all had these neighbors
Speaker 1: who try to show off with the ponds. What are
Speaker 1: those those expensive fish in the pond? Boy? Sure? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Oh look at my KOI pond. Look at my alligator pond, you, dick. Yeah,
Speaker 1: think of the conversations. A lot of people would run
Speaker 1: away from you. They'd be like scared to be like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I can but I mean like, no,
Speaker 1: don't don't panic. I made a deal. It's an alligator,
Speaker 1: but it won't bite anybody because I made the deal
Speaker 1: and we're good to go on that. And you can
Speaker 1: see the video. I sent you the video of the
Speaker 1: tiger here, daddy. But it looks like a like a
Speaker 1: little I don't know how old that thing is. You're
Speaker 1: the animal guy. You got that animal thunderdome coming up
Speaker 1: here at some point. So, yeah, it would be perfect baby. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's not very big. It's cute cuddly, right, doesn't it
Speaker 1: look like a stuff to animal? Though? Yeah? How much
Speaker 1: do they eat? They must eat a shipload every day
Speaker 1: to get big, right, they can't. What are the if
Speaker 1: you have a pet tiger, like, what are you feeding it?
Speaker 1: Like entire chickens, like three or four chickens every couple
Speaker 1: of hours or something like that. Man racing kanes, Yeah,
Speaker 1: raising Kanes. All right on, pop goes the culture. We
Speaker 1: got a little more time. I think we'll do one
Speaker 1: more here. We'll see if we have time. But how
Speaker 1: about how about this one from the the wacky world
Speaker 1: of a real estate. So this group of friends in Pennsylvania,
Speaker 1: they bought this abandoned high school. They spent a hundred
Speaker 1: thousand dollars on this abandoned high school. This old school
Speaker 1: like relic from back in the day, like the nineteen forties,
Speaker 1: nineteen fifties, and I've been used in years. And they
Speaker 1: renovated it and they turned into this awesome looking thirty
Speaker 1: one unit apartment building. It's got a gym, shared living space.
Speaker 1: It's awesome. And these guys in their thirties they got
Speaker 1: together and they said, this is great real estate. This
Speaker 1: is a gold mine. We gotta we gotta figure out
Speaker 1: how to do it Homestead, Pennsylvania. And it's it's really neat.
Speaker 1: It's like this really sweet looking old building that was
Speaker 1: this this high school. It's four stories tall. And they
Speaker 1: got together with a developer and they turned it into
Speaker 1: twenty nine one bedroom units. They're charging four a month,
Speaker 1: and they've got some two bedroom units as well. That
Speaker 1: are mixed in there. But that's a great idea. I'd
Speaker 1: love to do something like that. I think that's a
Speaker 1: wonderful Is there also a built in brothel. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't see the brother, but they made it very
Speaker 1: it's very grand. It's very grand like it. It's an
Speaker 1: old building and they refurbished it. They did this in
Speaker 1: like six months and it's it's pretty cool. And they
Speaker 1: just bought another school. I guess this is a new thing.
Speaker 1: They just bought another school, an elementary school which is
Speaker 1: no longer in elementary school, and they're gonna turn that
Speaker 1: into some some studio apartments also, So that's kind of neat,
Speaker 1: some ingenuity. Yeah, alright, so it is New Year's Eve,
Speaker 1: Danny g big plans for New Year's Eve, or you're
Speaker 1: gonna stay on the injured list in the injury tent. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just gonna be me and the tinder ron e.
Speaker 1: The kids are all busy. We were just gonna kind
Speaker 1: of have a chill night anyways, with some sparklers and
Speaker 1: some sparkling cider and maybe the gender reveal because we
Speaker 1: might find out later today. Yeah, we might find out
Speaker 1: by tomorrow if it's a boy. Or a girl very exciting,
Speaker 1: and everyone be dying to know. Will we have a
Speaker 1: a Danny g two point oh or a new princess
Speaker 1: in your life? Danny, and we will. We will find
Speaker 1: out soon when ship gets real. Already packed the bag.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna celebrate the news by high tailing it north
Speaker 1: on the one O one freeway. Yes here you all right.
Speaker 1: We'll have a great end of It's been a fun
Speaker 1: year here on the podcast with you, Danny and doing
Speaker 1: the radio show and all that stuff. And we'll begin
Speaker 1: the new year. We will have a mail bag podcast.
Speaker 1: The Malla Milissia came through yet again, so I have
Speaker 1: a brand new mail bag. On the first day of
Speaker 1: twenty twenty three, another year is upon us. We've we've
Speaker 1: survived another spin around the globe. So anyway we'll catch
Speaker 1: you then, have a great rest of your day and
Speaker 1: stay safe. Happy new Year, Happy New Year. I I
Speaker 1: for gotta say it, Happy New Year. Fired, yeah, damn it?
Speaker 1: All right? Later, Scooter gott a murder, Gotta go