1
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,200
Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for saying that I wouldn't

2
00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:04,240
Speaker 1: be playing mom with my exes?

3
00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:07,280
Speaker 2: A fair baby? What's an affair baby?

4
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:10,319
Speaker 1: Her guy got another girl pregnant. My ex husband and

5
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:13,000
Speaker 1: I were divorced four years ago because he had an

6
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:18,560
Speaker 1: affair baby. I love this Juniper, three year old female babies.

7
00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:19,800
Speaker 2: Getting the baby's getting redded in.

8
00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:23,599
Speaker 1: Yeah, with the other woman. But Juniper's mom passed away

9
00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:24,640
Speaker 1: when she was one years old.

10
00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:25,239
Speaker 2: Oh geez.

11
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,920
Speaker 1: Aside from my ex husband and his family, she doesn't

12
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,760
Speaker 1: have anyone else because her mom grew up in the system.

13
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,120
Speaker 1: He and I have four kids, Joshua twenty male, Cassidy

14
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,319
Speaker 1: sixteen male, and e eleven male, and Jacob eight male.

15
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,760
Speaker 1: When my husband and I divorced, are two oldest. Joshua

16
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:41,840
Speaker 1: and Cassidy cut him out of their life.

17
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,560
Speaker 2: So basically, yeah, that makes sense. It makes sense. Yeah,

18
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:45,360
Speaker 2: I don't fault you for it.

19
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,560
Speaker 1: They don't visit him anymore, and they both have never

20
00:00:47,600 --> 00:00:50,040
Speaker 1: met Juniper. And he has always blamed me for that,

21
00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:52,479
Speaker 1: saying that I kept his children away.

22
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:55,560
Speaker 3: Oh, he hasn't kept the children away. The affair kept

23
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,320
Speaker 3: the children away because his children, his older children, are like,

24
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,360
Speaker 3: I don't want anything to do that cheating scumbag. No,

25
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,800
Speaker 3: and that's why they haven't met your affair baby.

26
00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,319
Speaker 1: It's your own slick willy buddy, sorry to tell you.

27
00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:09,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe keep that willy dry for a season. That's now.

28
00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,360
Speaker 1: He might be an awful husband and partner, but he

29
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:14,440
Speaker 1: is an awesome dad. I'll give him that much now.

30
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,560
Speaker 1: Our younger children, Nate and Jacob, still visit him, and

31
00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,759
Speaker 1: they are both close with his baby. I tried once

32
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,440
Speaker 1: to take the three of them out when the baby

33
00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,560
Speaker 1: was younger, but it wasn't for me. I know she's blameless,

34
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:29,720
Speaker 1: but I just can't separate her from my ex's betrayal.

35
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,520
Speaker 1: So every time I pick up Nate and Jacob, I

36
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,240
Speaker 1: try not to engage too much.

37
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:37,240
Speaker 2: Oh dude, the affair baby didn't do anything wrong.

38
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:37,600
Speaker 3: I know.

39
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:38,080
Speaker 2: I know.

40
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,520
Speaker 1: If the baby says hi, I say high back. If

41
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:43,960
Speaker 1: she waves, I do it too, But absolutely nothing more.

42
00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:46,760
Speaker 2: It's a freaking baby. God, that's a bit much.

43
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:47,160
Speaker 1: That's real.

44
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're kind of feeling a holess right now. It's

45
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:50,960
Speaker 3: a baby.

46
00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:54,840
Speaker 1: Every time I pick them up, she starts to mumble mom.

47
00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:00,240
Speaker 1: I've told her things like no, Juniper, I'm not your mom.

48
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:02,640
Speaker 2: Call me my name, and I'm fine with that.

49
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:06,720
Speaker 1: Last time, she actually ran at me, calling me mama

50
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,160
Speaker 1: and began to cry when I didn't pick her up

51
00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:10,480
Speaker 1: and take her with me.

52
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,720
Speaker 3: Oh, this is a heartbreak, This is awful, This is

53
00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:14,600
Speaker 3: so bad.

54
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,320
Speaker 1: I don't think my ex is telling her to call

55
00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:21,760
Speaker 1: me mom, but that's how Nate and Jacob acts, especially Jacob.

56
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,800
Speaker 1: He runs towards me saying mom, mom and hugs me,

57
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,040
Speaker 1: so I guess she's just copying him. Yesterday, my son

58
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,760
Speaker 1: spent Easter with my ex's family. Juniper ran up to

59
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:32,720
Speaker 1: me like that again. I said hi, and my ex

60
00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,400
Speaker 1: asked for a second to talk to which I said, yes, Bro.

61
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,200
Speaker 3: I'm just imagining her like being like hello, nice to

62
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:38,919
Speaker 3: see you again.

63
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:40,360
Speaker 2: Child. He baby.

64
00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:43,800
Speaker 1: My ex told me that seeing me pick up the

65
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:47,560
Speaker 1: boys being affectionate and loving with them is confusing and

66
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,760
Speaker 1: hurting to Juniper. She's a baby and she doesn't understand

67
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:53,519
Speaker 1: what's happening. So he asked me if I could ever

68
00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:56,920
Speaker 1: take her with me for a few days like I

69
00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:00,880
Speaker 1: do with the boys, and maybe over time let me

70
00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:06,080
Speaker 1: call her mom. So OP said absolutely not. I said

71
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:08,480
Speaker 1: that I'm sorry for Juniper, but I won't be playing

72
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:11,359
Speaker 1: mom for her and that I'm only keeping a relationship

73
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,519
Speaker 1: with the both of them because of our two sons.

74
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:16,160
Speaker 1: He called me heartless and pointed out how she cries

75
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,720
Speaker 1: when I leave without her, but I said that was

76
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,880
Speaker 1: not my problem and he should have to deal with that.

77
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,640
Speaker 1: He later sent a video of Juniper crying by the

78
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:27,160
Speaker 1: door and said, I hope you're happy. So am I

79
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:27,760
Speaker 1: the a hole?

80
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:32,120
Speaker 2: Fuck? I don't even know, dude. I mean, I think

81
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,320
Speaker 2: they're both kind of the wrong, right.

82
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:38,600
Speaker 3: Well, okay, so the husband's the wrong, gadcheating, yep, for sure. Okay,

83
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,480
Speaker 3: the op's in the wrong for treating the baby like

84
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:42,760
Speaker 3: a business client.

85
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,640
Speaker 2: Hello child. If I had a kid, yep.

86
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,160
Speaker 3: And I was also gay and had a partner, and

87
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,000
Speaker 3: then that dad, that one of the dads died right yep.

88
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:56,240
Speaker 3: And then the dad had long hair like you USh

89
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,520
Speaker 3: luscious locks and you were coming to hang out, right,

90
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,680
Speaker 3: And then my kid got like he's like, oh my god,

91
00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,680
Speaker 3: that looks like that, and start calling you daddy, right

92
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:06,240
Speaker 3: right right? Would you be okay with my kid calling

93
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:06,680
Speaker 3: you dad?

94
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess that would be It wouldn't be that bad,

95
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,480
Speaker 1: but I'd be like, I mean, I'd probably be like, no,

96
00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,440
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not and still engaged with the baby.

97
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:14,880
Speaker 2: I get your general So.

98
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,240
Speaker 3: You tell you you wouldn't be like, well, yeah, yeah,

99
00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:19,040
Speaker 3: I guess you wouldn't say I am your father. But

100
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,520
Speaker 3: what if, like what if the person is like can

101
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:22,920
Speaker 3: you just pretend like you're.

102
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's too much, or like hey, could you just yeah, yeah,

103
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,479
Speaker 1: he wants to call you dad, So could you just

104
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,840
Speaker 1: take him for a few days and like let him

105
00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:32,279
Speaker 1: call you dad eventually? That's like okay, bro.

106
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, No, what do you put it? What do

107
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:35,000
Speaker 2: you put it?

108
00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:38,080
Speaker 3: In that context? I think I think that thought experiment,

109
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:41,000
Speaker 3: I think frames it where I think the husband's were

110
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:41,960
Speaker 3: asking way too much.

111
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,839
Speaker 1: But also but also I do think that like the woman,

112
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:49,320
Speaker 1: I understand that she has these like feelings and associations

113
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:49,880
Speaker 1: attached with.

114
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,520
Speaker 2: The baby, but like the baby didn't do any The baby.

115
00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:54,880
Speaker 1: Didn't do anything, So like I totally understand her not

116
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,640
Speaker 1: wanting to take her for a few days and like

117
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,520
Speaker 1: all that stuff like that's that's too much, right.

118
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,760
Speaker 3: I think I think like she could be a little

119
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,440
Speaker 3: bit warmer. Yeah, I think she could be warmer, but

120
00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,200
Speaker 3: she doesn't have to. She doesn't have to do absolutely not. Yeah,

121
00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:05,800
Speaker 3: she's not.

122
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,560
Speaker 1: Entitled to do or not obligated to do, any mom duties.

123
00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,680
Speaker 1: That's a tough situation, tough situation, so there you go.

124
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:12,000
Speaker 2: Please