Speaker 1: Guess what will?
Speaker 2: What's that?
Speaker 1: Mango? So have you seen this trailer for the movie Tag.
Speaker 1: It's about these brothers who play an epic game of tag.
Speaker 1: I think John Ham's in it, and maybe Ed Helms.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was gonna say. I saw Ed Helms was
Speaker 2: in it. I saw a couple of articles about it.
Speaker 3: It looks pretty funny, and actually I saw it's based
Speaker 3: on a real story, right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So when I heard that, I was actually a
Speaker 1: little confused because I'd heard this other great story about
Speaker 1: brothers playing tag and this from a while back. So
Speaker 1: this guy, Richard Mellon was actually like a captain of industry,
Speaker 1: I want to say. He came from Pittsburgh and he
Speaker 1: and his younger brother Andrew had this game of tag
Speaker 1: that they'd play, and apparently the game lasted for seven decades.
Speaker 1: It's nuts. But but here's the craziest part, right, So,
Speaker 1: when Richard was on his deathbed, he summoned his brother
Speaker 1: Andrew over to him, and he pulled him close and
Speaker 1: then he just whispered into his ear last Tag and
Speaker 1: then he died.
Speaker 2: Oh I love that.
Speaker 3: It's such like a just kind of like a big
Speaker 3: brother thing to do. But so were those actually his
Speaker 3: last words.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and apparently Andrew had to stay it for four
Speaker 1: more years until he passed away. But that story made
Speaker 1: me think we should do today's nine Things about epic
Speaker 1: last words. Let's dive in.
Speaker 3: Hey, their podcast listeners, Welcome to Part Time Genius. I'm
Speaker 3: Will Pearson and as always I'm joined by my good
Speaker 3: friend Manges Shot Ticketer and behind the soundproof glass just
Speaker 3: chugging this big jug of V eight as he works
Speaker 3: from there.
Speaker 1: I feel like he thinks, if he drinks enough V eight,
Speaker 1: he's just never gonna have to think about his last words.
Speaker 3: Well, you just never know. I mean, he's a really
Speaker 3: smart guy. But that's our friend and producer Tristan McNeil.
Speaker 3: All right, Mango, So I know last words are a
Speaker 3: little bit of a morbid topic, but I still find
Speaker 3: them pretty fascinating.
Speaker 2: I just can't help it.
Speaker 3: And I know John Green when he used to work
Speaker 3: at Mental Flaws, he was completely obsessed with these.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember showing us like pages of this, and
Speaker 1: a lot of that found its way into Looking for Alaska.
Speaker 1: But uh, one of the things I remember it was
Speaker 1: like that was the first time I heard that Dylan
Speaker 1: Thomas quote about eighteen straight whiskies. I think that's the
Speaker 1: record which were his last words, horrible last words, and
Speaker 1: also Henry Ward Beacher's one about uh now comes the Mystery,
Speaker 1: which is way more poetic.
Speaker 3: You know, I think the part of what's so great
Speaker 3: about last words is when somebody who already consider a
Speaker 3: genius says something funny or just meaningful, or even exactly
Speaker 3: is the character you want them to be.
Speaker 2: There's something so satisfying about that.
Speaker 1: No, I definitely agree. So I kicked this off with
Speaker 1: the tag story, But I'm curious, what's your first last
Speaker 1: word gonna be? All right?
Speaker 3: Well, I think I'm going to kick this off with
Speaker 3: a smart alec who didn't disappoint, and that's Voltaire. Now,
Speaker 3: I know you and I have plenty of great facts
Speaker 3: about Voltaire.
Speaker 2: I know that pull up line.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got so many Voltaire effects up in here.
Speaker 3: But anyway, you know, there was the one that he
Speaker 3: was pinpals with Catherine the Great, or that he supposedly
Speaker 3: drank forty cups of coffee a day. They may have
Speaker 3: been tiny cups, but still it's pretty impressive.
Speaker 1: I know. And supposedly he was such a fiend for coffee.
Speaker 1: That he actually imported these luxury beans because he couldn't
Speaker 1: just drink plain coffee.
Speaker 3: Really, I actually didn't know that about the luxury beans. Well,
Speaker 3: my favorite story about Voltaire is what he told his
Speaker 3: priest on his deathbed. And as the story goes, the
Speaker 3: priest knew Voltaire was close to death, so he was
Speaker 3: encouraging him to use his last words to secure his
Speaker 3: place in heaven, just kind of pressing him on it
Speaker 3: over and over to renounce Satan. And you know, of course, Voltaire,
Speaker 3: being a legendary smart Alec just says to him, now,
Speaker 3: my good man, this is no time for making enemies,
Speaker 3: and then he passed away.
Speaker 1: That's pretty great. So here's a weird one i'd heard
Speaker 1: that I just thought was an urban legend. But did
Speaker 1: you know that the Nike slogan just Do It is
Speaker 1: based on a phrase from death Row. No, seriously, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so grim. But apparently, you know Dan Widen, he's
Speaker 1: like from that legendary ad firm Widen and Kennedy. He
Speaker 1: was trying to come up with some sort of slogan
Speaker 1: to tie all of Nike's advertisements together. And this is
Speaker 1: a totally separate and weird thing. I actually read that
Speaker 1: Phil Knight, the CEO of Nike, thought TV advertising was
Speaker 1: like a mistake for the brand and just a big
Speaker 1: waste of time. And Widen actually had to really convince
Speaker 1: him to do it, and he needed to convince him
Speaker 1: to trust them and whatever. But anyway, he was trying
Speaker 1: to figure a way to tie all these ads together,
Speaker 1: and he remembered the last words of this murderer from Portland,
Speaker 1: this guy named Gary Gilmour, who in the late seventies
Speaker 1: was put in front of a firing squad and before
Speaker 1: they shot, he just shouted, let's do it. And wow,
Speaker 1: I guess Widen edited out the phrase lets and inserted
Speaker 1: to just And that's how just do it came to be.
Speaker 2: That's so strange.
Speaker 3: It's also so strange to imagine in the seventies firing squad.
Speaker 3: I know, just such a bizarre thing.
Speaker 2: But I don't know.
Speaker 3: What's weirder is that I'd actually written down the story
Speaker 3: of Nike as a last word, and so I think
Speaker 3: I'm going to use that one next. So the reason
Speaker 3: we run marathons, or that people run marathons, is to
Speaker 3: honor a messenger from four to nine DBC. And we've
Speaker 3: heard this story before, but it's still pretty fascinating. But
Speaker 3: according to the myth, he raced from the city of
Speaker 3: Marathon to Athens after the Athenian army had won a battle,
Speaker 3: and supposedly it was incredibly hot that day and he
Speaker 3: raised the twenty six miles between the cities, and when
Speaker 3: he got there he uttered that one glorious word for victory, Nike,
Speaker 3: and then he passed out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and now the goddess has a shoe company named
Speaker 1: for her, which is great.
Speaker 2: So yeah, it's all worth it.
Speaker 1: So one thing I love about last words, and I
Speaker 1: feel like I couldn't find enough of this was people
Speaker 1: using their deathbed as a soapbox to really complain about
Speaker 1: someone they detested.
Speaker 3: I kind of like Festivus, you know, the airing of
Speaker 3: grievances exactly.
Speaker 1: So these are like words that are worthy of Frank Constanzas.
Speaker 1: And so this one is actually one that Chris Higgins,
Speaker 1: our friend, found on Mental Floss, and I just love it.
Speaker 1: So apparently there was this pickpocket named Thomas B. Moran
Speaker 1: who was nicknamed Butterfingers. I'd never heard this story before,
Speaker 1: but you know, you think of butterfingers as someone who
Speaker 1: drops balls in the outfield and not someone who's like
Speaker 1: a silky smooth pickpocket. But by all accounts Moran was,
Speaker 1: and he had stolen over fifty thousand wallets over the
Speaker 1: course of his career. Right amazing. But these are his
Speaker 1: last words quote, I've never forgiven that smart Alexi reporter
Speaker 1: who named me butterfingers to me, it's not funny. And
Speaker 1: then he died.
Speaker 3: He'd really been wrong and feels so sorry for the guy.
Speaker 3: I know, but I know it was probably a relief
Speaker 3: that he finally got to admit that. But all right,
Speaker 3: well here's what I really liked, because it kind of
Speaker 3: shows someone's true spirit. So Marie Antoinette obviously got a
Speaker 3: bad rap for the whole let them have cake comment,
Speaker 3: which of course she didn't even say. But you know
Speaker 3: that public perception of her was clearly as this out
Speaker 3: of touch royal who didn't really care for others. But
Speaker 3: you know what, you look at her last words, it
Speaker 3: kind of paints a different picture. So as she was
Speaker 3: walking to the guillotine, she accidentally steps on the executioner's foot,
Speaker 3: so her last words supposedly were, pardon me, sir, I
Speaker 3: meant not to do it.
Speaker 2: Huh.
Speaker 1: So that actually makes me like her a lot more
Speaker 1: like when you're on your way to be executed, you
Speaker 1: normally have like tons of things on your mind. But
Speaker 1: I like that she decided to use her manners and
Speaker 1: was considerate of others. Yeah. Yeah, anyway, so we've got
Speaker 1: a couple more of these before we settle on a
Speaker 1: winter but let's do those after a quick break.
Speaker 3: Welcome back to Part Time Genius, where we're talking about
Speaker 3: famous last words, and we got a couple more stories
Speaker 3: to tell, Mango, so you know what's funny.
Speaker 1: And I realized this is a little off topic, but
Speaker 1: every time I hear the phrase famous last words, I
Speaker 1: think about my study of broad trip in college. So
Speaker 1: before I went, like the group had sent out this
Speaker 1: packing list of supplies he should have and part of
Speaker 1: our trip was at the foothills of Everest essentially, so
Speaker 1: it was through Nepal and Tibet, but there were these
Speaker 1: places and elevations that were really really cold. So my
Speaker 1: mom took me to this Army Navy surplus store to
Speaker 1: get like a really good sleeping bag and some of
Speaker 1: the other things, and the shop was totally empty, like
Speaker 1: everything was dusty, and they had a lot of these
Speaker 1: goods just stacked up, and it seemed like people hadn't
Speaker 1: really gone there in a while. And the shop keep
Speaker 1: he just seemed like this grizzled old veteran. But I
Speaker 1: think he spotted my mom and realized there was a
Speaker 1: sale to be made here. So, like every time my
Speaker 1: mom took out this list and she'd look at it
Speaker 1: and she'd say things like it says two pairs of
Speaker 1: extra thick socks, he just looked at her and he'd
Speaker 1: say famous last words, just like grumble it to her,
Speaker 1: and then she'd be like, three pairs this, three pairs, right,
Speaker 1: four pairs, We'll take six pairs like everything. I feel
Speaker 1: like by the end of this trip we had this
Speaker 1: station wagon full of things we didn't need. It was crazy.
Speaker 3: I oh picture that, But that's pretty great. Well, speaking
Speaker 3: of famous last words, what are you going to use is.
Speaker 2: Your last last words of the day?
Speaker 1: So initially I was thinking it aim for something funny, right,
Speaker 1: because there are tons of those. There's a Groucho Marx
Speaker 1: who said this is no way to live, or Richard Feynman,
Speaker 1: who you know is that physicist who said this dying
Speaker 1: is boring. But I'm actually gonna go with something a
Speaker 1: little bit sweeter. And this is Arthur Conan Doyle, who
Speaker 1: you know, we know from Sherlock Holmes stories. And he
Speaker 1: was in his garden, which I imagine is this beautiful
Speaker 1: English garden, and just before he died, he clutched his chest,
Speaker 1: turned to his wife and said, you are wonderful, and
Speaker 1: then he passed away.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that sweet and romantic.
Speaker 3: But actually, Mango, I feel like I may have one
Speaker 3: even better for you.
Speaker 2: And he's come from Harriet Tubman.
Speaker 1: Oh no, the Harriet Tubman card. So I feel like
Speaker 1: we've done lots of stories about Harriet Tubman over the years,
Speaker 1: but I actually know nothing about her death.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So sadly she died of pneumonia, and there are a
Speaker 3: few accounts of how she left. There's there's one that said,
Speaker 3: you know, she told some clergyman, give my love to
Speaker 3: all the churches, and then she quoted a biblical passage
Speaker 3: and that passage was I go away to prepare a
Speaker 3: place for you. But I think the version I like
Speaker 3: more is that after she made her statement, her family,
Speaker 3: you know, kind of sensing that the end was near,
Speaker 3: they gathered around her and sang together. So The last
Speaker 3: words of hers were actually, swing low, sweet chariot.
Speaker 1: That's really lovely. I think you've got to take this round.
Speaker 1: That's it for today's nine Things. We're going to be
Speaker 1: back tomorrow with a full length episode, but thank you
Speaker 1: so much for listening.