00:00:08 Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. 00:00:17 Speaker 2: But you're a. 00:00:17 Speaker 1: Guess to me, you gotta come to be empty, and I said, no, guests, your presence is presence enough. I already had too much stuff, So how did you dare to surbey mean. 00:00:48 Speaker 2: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Bridgard Weineger. Everything is fine. I'm alive. You're alive. I had a late lunch, which doesn't vote well for any one. But we're going to just try to do this and see what happens today. My guest is an Emmy Award winning writer. She's written what's probably the most famous episode of Rick and Morty. She wrote for Corporate Silicon Valley, a whole variety of things. She's the showrunner of Disney Plus's She Hulk, so she's just doing everything. Jessica, Jessica, Jessica gow. I see you made it past my traps. 00:01:35 Speaker 3: Thank you for addressing me by my full name, which is Jessica Hype and Jessica hyphen Jessica. 00:01:41 Speaker 2: Of course, it's the only way I will address you. How are you? I'm wonderful you look. I mean I said this when you walked in. You look fantastic. You're wearing the maybe the best jumpsuit I've ever seen. I'm very excited about this jumpsuit. I just got it. Where did you get it from? 00:01:58 Speaker 3: It's this company called New Works and Works woman owned, Beautiful Love supporting a female owned business of another writer, Jay Chang, turned me onto this company because I saw her in a blue leopard jumpsuit. 00:02:11 Speaker 2: Oh this, and I was like, I need to have this. Do they do them for men? You know? 00:02:16 Speaker 3: I don't know, but I'm sure. Look after this, we'll do a little outfits with your room. 00:02:21 Speaker 2: You can try this. It works for you. Never know, you never know, I've got you know the look. 00:02:28 Speaker 3: Well, they do have multiple fits, like they have like this is like the really fitted version, but they have like a looser fit that's more of like a workman's jumpsuit. 00:02:36 Speaker 2: Well, I want to fitted of tim or something that I can. You want to look like between lasers and yause. 00:02:42 Speaker 3: You want to look like a Gal Friday and speed racer. You want to be the girl who waves the flag. 00:02:46 Speaker 2: That's me every day I do. I say this every time I see somebody in a jumpsuit. I have I missed the jumpsuit wagon. Is it too late for me to get a jumpsuit? It's never too late because jumpsuits are forever. Jumpsuits are forever. 00:03:02 Speaker 3: Fully one third of my closet is jumpsuits. Really, I love jumpsuits. I love a one and done outfit. 00:03:08 Speaker 2: And I'm I'm not. 00:03:11 Speaker 3: I'm not a dress person. Like there's some dresses, but I'm not generally a dress person. I love I prefer men's wear, Okay, so like for formal events. So a jumpsuit is just is the greatest one piece thing. 00:03:23 Speaker 2: Give it a shot. Yeah. And the thing I love about this jumpsuit is it's a zipper, so it's real quick in and house jumpsuits buttoned. 00:03:30 Speaker 3: It depends. I have a lot of button ones too, and those just takes a lot of button Yeah, it takes a long time. 00:03:35 Speaker 2: I mean, I get a shirt button and I'm out of breath getting down to the crotch. I don't know, I'd be passed out on the floor in my new jumpsuit. 00:03:44 Speaker 3: I've also had jumpsuits where I've gone to a tailor and had them like. 00:03:48 Speaker 2: Lower the zipper or add a zipper to a buttoned one. 00:03:50 Speaker 3: So that so that it's easier to get out of, because you know, the lower the zipper button goes, the easier it is to get out of the jumpsuit. 00:03:56 Speaker 2: Sure. Well, I was at. 00:03:57 Speaker 3: A Christmas party and I was wearing a romper, which is a jumpsuit but with shorts. 00:04:03 Speaker 2: I'm so glad that you I was. I'm constantly confused as to what a short version and is a jumper a third category. 00:04:13 Speaker 3: Some people, Well, in America, people use jumpers to describe any number of things, but in England and Europe, a jumper is a sweater. Oh and in America, it's just like it's the truly the wild West. 00:04:25 Speaker 2: Definition type of clothes. 00:04:27 Speaker 3: Because some people say use jumper for jumpsuits, some people say jumper. 00:04:31 Speaker 2: For overalls, suit of armor. Lawless. 00:04:34 Speaker 3: Sure, but a ramper is just a short, shorts, you know, version of a jumpsuit. 00:04:41 Speaker 2: So it's also known as a playsuit. I never heard. 00:04:45 Speaker 3: So I was wearing a jumpsuit, a velvet tuxedo romper to this holiday bar. 00:04:50 Speaker 2: You were in your velvet playsuit. 00:04:51 Speaker 3: I was in my velvet tuxedo playsuit Bridger because it was a formal event and so I had to go to the bathroom, and I had my boyfriend wait outside of door to hold my personal I went to the bathroom, and you know, it took a very long time for me to struggle out. 00:05:04 Speaker 2: Of the because the zipper was in the back. This is the. 00:05:09 Speaker 3: Jumpsuit, and I had to do a lot of contortions to reach the zipper in the back, and I was wearing tighter. 00:05:14 Speaker 2: It was like a whole thing. 00:05:14 Speaker 3: It took a long time, but the whole the walls were thin, and I could hear my boyfriend chatting with another guy in line, and they were speculating whether or not it was taking a dump. 00:05:26 Speaker 2: What is he doing? Why would you do that to me? Well, because well I know Truck your boyfriend. This is exact sort of behavior constantly. I know what an awful human being. He's a bad person. He is. I brought you here to ask you to leave him. I've come here to ask you to help me leave him. I'm going to it's going to take at least the two of us to take down Truck. 00:05:51 Speaker 3: And then when I came out of the bathroom, he was talking to Haley Joel Osmond. 00:05:55 Speaker 2: What that was? The person that was The other person was speculating my whether or not it is hail Joel Osmond talking to people strangers about their girlfriend's dumps. Unbelievable, that is, But I guess that's kind of the post sixth sense life. 00:06:10 Speaker 3: Yeah, just And of course I confronted them and said, I heard what you said, and I spent a long time getting out of my jumpsuit. 00:06:16 Speaker 2: No thanks to you. Now what did Haley have to say? Well, he happy, he's the bathroom, so he ran in there. Then you and Truck speculated about what Hailey was doing. We knew exactly what he was doing. Bathroom things, bathroom things. He was getting out of his place suit, his velvet place. He is. Oh, well, Jessica, it's been a rough couple of days for me. Tell me, I I'm just going to tell you, if you ever want to just destroy me, ask me to accomplish a single task. Because yesterday I had to go this gift to a something related to this podcast. I had to get some gifts. I can't wrap a gift myself. I don't have that skill. I'm shocked to hear this. Well, it's one of the many skills I don't possess. I would have bet money that you were an excellent gift wrapper. I it is maybe the saddest thing I can do physically. Like to watch me try to wrap a gift is so pathetic, and so I that aside. I needed these gifts to look kind of professionally wrapped, and so I was just buzzing around the city for the better half of a day. I end up in Glendale at the Glendale Galleria. At my low point, I walk into Papyrus. Are you familiar with papyras They're going out of business by the time this airs rip, I have to imagine. But I go in there there's this teen running the store. They I asked her if she can wrap the gifts for me. She said she could, but I would need to buy the paper and store they didn't have any paper appropriate for this thing. Okay, So eventually I'm I'm walking out of the store and I said, could you please do this for me? Well, if I buy some off site paper, would you mind wrapping these? And she looked at me and she said, I can tell you need this, so I'll do it. The desperation I must have been radiating at the Glendale galerya I should have leveled the building. But God bless this team. She came to my rescue. Although, of course, then I go to Target. They didn't have any wrapping paper. I went to the Dollar Store, no wrapping paper. Target not have wrapping I need solid color wrapping paper. You were being choosy. I was being a choosy, little chooser, and unfortunately that gotten the way of things. I also had a gym appointment, so then, oh boy, I go to the gym. After that, I had to party city found some paper. So this is now, at like seven thirty at night, I'm call calling Papyrus, calling, trying to get back in touch with the teen. She's there, she's I have to guarantee. At this point, she's like, this man is a danger to me. But she asked me if to come right over. She did the I left the boxes with her. She wrapped them, asked me to come by after they had closed. And now I've got at least part of my gifts wrapped. She ran out of ribbon. I'm having a real struggle, but you know I'm now here. I've got my soda. I'm here with you. I feel fine. Bridger, you can always ask me to wrap a gift. Oh what are your gift wrapping skills? Like, well, this was done in a slap dash, But I'm like, so you've brought this gift, which of course asked you not to, but you it's a I think it's like very charming. Thank you. 00:09:52 Speaker 3: Well, I think you'll be impressed once you see what's inside that I was able to wrap it. Y, it actually has a shape. 00:09:58 Speaker 2: What lies beneath seems to be a kind of of an odd shape. Yes, so it could be it. Yes, it's like essentially six dead pigeons wrapped together. This is actually quite an accomplishment considering the shape of things inside. Okay, so but I I am an excellent gift wrapper. Where did you learn to rap gifts? Trial and error? 00:10:19 Speaker 3: I always wrapped all of the gift I always I'm always the designated gift rapper in my family. Like I've had to wrap my own Christmas gifts oh years. 00:10:28 Speaker 2: Knowing what you've told me about your parents, this lines up in a decent amount of ways. 00:10:33 Speaker 3: Yeah, so usually for Christmas, you know, I'm sequestered in a small room somewhere where just people just dump off drop off piles of gifts, and and I'm there for a couple of hours just wrapping piles and piles of gifts. 00:10:47 Speaker 2: Oh, speaking of your parents, I would say no one on the planet is prouder of her daughter than your mother would say. That's true, very fair. Can you cite any exact samples, any recent things or. 00:11:02 Speaker 3: Well, she keeps claiming that she's writing a book about me that's fifty percent memoir fifty percent parenting guide. 00:11:09 Speaker 2: Oh good, Well, I honestly, I mean, considering how you've turned out, maybe it's time. I mean, she gives the world some advice. I feel like she could be a best seller. I mean she did. I mean, you had an interesting childhood. You for a year were sent to Chinese. 00:11:27 Speaker 3: Well, I was born in China, and then I came to America when I was four, and then when I was seven, my parents sent me back to the old country, but alone. 00:11:35 Speaker 2: And what was the thinking behind that, Well. 00:11:38 Speaker 3: The party line that I was fed was that they they were Once I started school in America, I started speaking. 00:11:43 Speaker 2: English a lot, as you do, yes, and then. 00:11:46 Speaker 3: They were very worried that I would lose my ability to speak Chinese, despite the fact that they didn't really speak English, so we only spoke Chinese. 00:11:54 Speaker 2: That, sure. 00:11:55 Speaker 3: And also we lived in the Sangamo Valley, which is ninety percent Chinese people. Any school every two walks. Sure, but they decided that they had to take the drastic step of sending me back to the old country to preserve my Chinese. 00:12:09 Speaker 2: And do you are you happy that that happened? Was it a good experience or was it? Well? I was not psyched about it. Sure. I can't imagine at that age being sent to a country feels normal. Yes, I mean I had to do it twice, you know. 00:12:22 Speaker 3: First I had to go to America and then yes, yes, But and also you know, they sent me alone, and they told me, you know, don't tell anyone you're flying alone because it's illegal and we'll get in trouble. So if anyone asks, just say your parents are in the bathroom. And when you when the plane lands, just remember who was sitting around you and follow them and just keep walking and eventually you'll see someone you know, which. 00:12:44 Speaker 2: To be fair, is what happened. Sure, But also you know, I mean think about it this way. 00:12:48 Speaker 3: I had to go through customs and immigration by myself, filled out the forms myself. 00:12:53 Speaker 2: Also, by the way, no one raised a red flag. 00:12:56 Speaker 3: Just you know, a seven year old child walked up with a back and a toy briefcase. 00:13:01 Speaker 2: By the way, I was carrying a plastic toy briefcase. Oh, like a non functioning It was like for your Teddy Bear or something. It was for my comic books, thank you very much. 00:13:12 Speaker 3: And I probably had like a coloring book or two in there, but it was for you know, my plane essential sure, and I'm sure I kept my passport in there. 00:13:21 Speaker 2: Oh, that's the cutest thing I've ever heard. 00:13:25 Speaker 3: And I, uh, you know, And then I walked up to whoever in immigration and gave them my passport and my scrawled out customs forms and they were like, this looks all in. 00:13:35 Speaker 2: Order, go on through. They just assumed you were a forty five year old woman. Yes, that's so crazy. Yeah, I do want to get on a record here speaking about San Gabriel Valley. Yes, there's a city within the San Gabriel Valley that's spelled a l H A M b R A. Yes that right. Yes, I said, I pronounced this word to you a couple of years ago, and you immediately shamed me for the way I pronounced it, of course, but and I correct the shame was so deep that I immediately corrected, so I called it Alhambra. You've said Bridge. That's God bless you. I believe you pronounced it much more European. You were like Alhambra. And but how do you pronounce. 00:14:23 Speaker 3: Alhambra because it's not a gorgeous city of Spain. It's not Alambra, which a lot of I've heard a lot of people had al I can always tell someone did not is not from La because they say Alambra. 00:14:36 Speaker 2: Well, since correcting it every time I say it to people who are not from La, because al Hambro sounds like you're a secretary in Minneapolis. Yes, you sound like an ugly American tourist. Yeah. 00:14:49 Speaker 3: Going over to Alambra and calling it al Haambra, but in Alhambra it's pronounced al Haambra. 00:14:54 Speaker 2: Los Angeles is kind of a trap that way, because sometimes you do have you pronounce it correctly, and then other times it's like this is as far from the original pronunciation as possible. Yes, but we've got it on record now I kind of consider you the expert. Yeah, so I can now march forward calling it Alhambra in comfort, Yeah, and just tell people you grew up there. Oh that's not a bad idea. I'm just going to become a huge liar anytime I need to pronounce something. Let's not pretend you already are well. I've deceived plenty of people and I will continue to do so. Something else. I don't think many people know about you, And this is another thing I'd like to beg you on the podcast to do. You need to start your own Costco podcast, because Jessica Goo, no one in the world knows more about Costco and is more passionate about Costco than you. That's very true. You, I think are my only the only person in Los Angeles I know personally who well, let's say maybe there are a couple of people who is a member of Costco, but you're very proud of it and you're happy to take people on. Essentially, you took yes a tour. I sure you through Costco. I mean I was obviously my family growing up had at Costco membership, but I hadn't been there in years, and it's a wonderland. You really showed me. You put me on a magic carpet and took me through Costco and I ended up buying fifteen protein bars, yes. 00:16:25 Speaker 3: And what was funny was you had said to me, Oh, I'd love to go to Costco with you one of these days on one of your weekly pilgrimages. 00:16:32 Speaker 2: I said great. 00:16:33 Speaker 3: And you know, usually when people say that, it it's because they want to buy something at Costco and they needed somebody who has a membership. And when we arrived there, I think after like ten fifteen minutes of browsing, you know, and I'm filling my car, I asked you what you wanted to buy and you said, oh, I'm not planning to buy anything, and you said I just wanted to tag along, which I thought was the ravings of a madman. 00:16:57 Speaker 2: Well, this is frequently what I'm doing is just making choices that most, not ninety nine percent of the population would make. But uh, I guess I did want to just go look at Costco. And it was a nice little walk around the store. But you gave me a guided tour that I had never unlike anything I had seen before. You've also given me details about Costco, for example, the food court, chicken sand, the chicken bake. Chicken bake. Can you explain because it's kind of an interesting origin. 00:17:29 Speaker 3: It was created because they were tasked with trying to figure out what new menu item they could make with the existing ingredients that they already had in the kitchen. 00:17:39 Speaker 2: Oh, so they use the dough that they. 00:17:41 Speaker 3: Make for pizza, okay, and then they already serve a caesar salad, so they were going to use that dressing and the chicken that they used in the chicken caesar salad. 00:17:47 Speaker 2: And then they were like, let's just put this all together. What a fun creative cost, so they don't have to introduce a new ingredient. Yes, so they have everything available, they have a new item. I've never had the chicken bake. I've had a hot dog, I've had pizza. Yeah, the hot dog is the way to go. Yeah, I think that's kind of I mean, I will say the pizza is good enough. It's just as good as any other chain pizza. Yeah, definitely. Actually I would say better than most chain pizza. And you know, you can buy the whole pie really and just sit down on one of those picnic benches and go to town. 00:18:24 Speaker 3: Yeah, or you know, take it away if you're having a party with people who have aren't picky. 00:18:30 Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, you can call them and reserve an entire pie. Well, the other thing that you taught me recently is that I don't need a Costco membership to go into the food area. 00:18:40 Speaker 3: No, you don't. Anyone can go and eat in the concessions. 00:18:43 Speaker 2: Because I've frequently wanted to go get a hot dog but was afraid of the club atmosphere. 00:18:49 Speaker 3: I mean most Costcos in southern California, the food. 00:18:52 Speaker 2: Area is outside anyway, so you don't. 00:18:54 Speaker 3: Even to enter the warehouse, like the one in liz Feel Is here we go with the oh yeah, oh I feel course, so one in liz Feels it's it's completely outside, so anyone can walk up there. 00:19:06 Speaker 2: You can jaunt on over for a lunch I've got. I mean, I think that's our next lunch date is Costco. 00:19:13 Speaker 3: But that means we would have to go through Costco. Of course, you think I would ever go there and not set foot inside cost. 00:19:18 Speaker 2: Well, do you think I wouldn't follow you till the end of Costco? I love, Yes, I love watching your purchases at Costco because, I mean, recently there's been a very exciting Costco purchased by you. The Ham Yes, can you talk about the Ham? Well? 00:19:35 Speaker 3: This brings me to uh, the gift I wanted to bring you. Oh lord, that's what I wanted to. 00:19:41 Speaker 2: Bring, can you? Okay? 00:19:43 Speaker 3: So Costco has been during the holidays Costco, which is, by the way, the Christmas season. 00:19:49 Speaker 2: Is the most exciting time on Costco. 00:19:51 Speaker 3: It's when they have all these like amazing seasonal items. It's when like all the good alcohol goes on sale, they have all these gift sets. 00:19:57 Speaker 2: It's truly the best time of year. 00:19:59 Speaker 3: They really bring it it all out, they really do. And so this year they had if our listeners are your listeners now ours? 00:20:08 Speaker 2: You're now the co host. I forgot to tell you. I've filled out the contract work. Is that what I signed? Yes, it's now we said no gift O see colon the Costco podcast. 00:20:21 Speaker 3: Wonderful. This is how you're getting me to do the past podcast. Okay, your trojan horse has worked you so. 00:20:28 Speaker 2: Uh. 00:20:28 Speaker 3: Hamone serrano and harmon eberico, which are Spanish cured hams. Hamon serrano is very very common. It's made from white pigs, okay and uh, and it's relatively inexpensive because it's like the most common. 00:20:45 Speaker 2: It's basically like an umbrella. Term. 00:20:46 Speaker 3: Haman somorano is like an umbrella term for most cured hams made from white pigs. Okay, and uh, Costco was selling a set that was an entire leg of cured ham and with a stand because you need a special stand to hold it, and with a carving knife. 00:21:05 Speaker 2: Because the leg's kind of like boo, you know, it's kind of I mean it's leg shape. It's a big leg. It's like a leg is sticking it's out from underneath the skirt. 00:21:15 Speaker 3: Yes, it was meant to be supported by three other legs, not to stand it. And so you know, the flavor is similar to protrudo. Okay, So I saw it. I purchased it was one hundred dollars, which is a steal because it's that leg is over fifteen pounds. 00:21:32 Speaker 2: Wow. 00:21:32 Speaker 3: Yeah, and a game with a stand and a knife. That's true, It's truly. I mean if you got a little eight ounce package of it would probably be ten bucks. You know. 00:21:40 Speaker 2: Oh, I mean now you can run over Hampstead. Yeah. Oh absolutely. So I bought it. 00:21:46 Speaker 3: Didn't think what I was going to, like how I would deal with this, but I just thought I must have it. 00:21:51 Speaker 2: I must have that must big leg, big leg. 00:21:54 Speaker 3: So I brought it home. My neighbor is an excellent cook. She actually went to culinary school. So I had her over and she like carved it up like you know. Every night we would have a one hour ham carving session and I would bring it, and I would bring I would fill a ziploc bag with sliced ham and I would bring it to the writer's room every day. Sure, and they started to refer you know, now we have a term in the writer's room called the hamdbag, and you would tell people to pass the handbag. 00:22:18 Speaker 2: And they loved it so much. 00:22:20 Speaker 3: And my assistant, my assistant you Song multiple times, said Jessica, if you would provide me with an apron and buy another ham to keep in the writer's room, I will happily slice it. 00:22:33 Speaker 2: Oh for the writing staff of one offul gesture. 00:22:36 Speaker 3: And a friend of mine, Andrew T, said that I should buy a ham to keep in the writer's room so that and force you Song to slice it throughout the day and reward the writers anytime they had a good pitch. 00:22:48 Speaker 2: I would nod to use Song and he would toss them a slice it, just like a pack of dogs, like some trained seals. Yes, your circus animal and so you should be wearing a top hat. 00:23:00 Speaker 3: You're doing absolutely and with my cane. So right after Christmas, an unprecedented thing happened. It went on sale for fifty percent off. Wow, fifty dollars for an entire pig leg Oh that's insane. 00:23:19 Speaker 2: With stand and carving. My home should be nothing but pigley, I know. 00:23:23 Speaker 3: So of course I snatched one up and I brought it home, and truck came home and said, did you buy another Hamily? And I said, yes, I did, and I don't want to hear a word about it. And I brought it into the writer's room right after Christmas break and they were overjoyed. Oh, I can imagine it's down to it's last little bit of bits of meat. 00:23:44 Speaker 2: How long does a cure I mean, like you can does it expire? 00:23:48 Speaker 3: Yes it does, but you can keep it at room temper, like a cool room temperature for several weeks. 00:23:54 Speaker 2: Oh wow, Yeah. 00:23:55 Speaker 3: You just when you slice off the because the outside layers fat, So you slice off the fat in big pieces so that you can get to the meat that you slice, but you save those flaps of fat to put back on the meat, and then you and then they saran wrap all of it to keep it in place, because the fat actually keeps the. 00:24:13 Speaker 2: Drying out the meat. Wow. But our ancestors for figuring out that is. 00:24:18 Speaker 3: One of our writers got so into it that he has purchased on his own with his own money, multiple boning knives and a ham cover, a specialty cover just for Hammon. 00:24:31 Speaker 2: Is it like a little gene leg. 00:24:34 Speaker 3: It's like a little it's it's basically it looks like the ham leg is wearing a cake and it's quite adorable. 00:24:39 Speaker 2: Actually, feel like there's a business in there, like a little half pants that you pull over just one leg. Yeah, exactly. Corduroys. 00:24:48 Speaker 1: Yes. 00:24:49 Speaker 3: And then the other ham that they had available at Costco is the Hammon Eberico. Emerico is much more scarce and much more expensive. It's made with black pigs and these eat a diet of i think the year before they're slaughtered, like eat a diet of only acorns. 00:25:07 Speaker 1: Wow. 00:25:08 Speaker 3: So their meat has this very deep, nutty, delicious flavor. 00:25:12 Speaker 2: They're eating nothing but a. 00:25:13 Speaker 3: Acorns and they're so delicious, and it's so much more expensive. So they had an embarraco, same kit, a baraco leg. It was five hundred and fifty dollars. I really really thought about it, but you didn't do it. 00:25:27 Speaker 2: I didn't do it. This feels like something you're gonna regret few years from now. Immediately, oh, I immediately regretted it. 00:25:35 Speaker 3: And then when I went back during the sale, it was I heard it was three hundred dollars, but I went to two costcos and they didn't have the Ebarraco. 00:25:42 Speaker 2: Anymos breaking for you right now, But you know, there's always the next hole. 00:25:48 Speaker 3: There's always Oh next year, I'm gonna be my cart will be filled. 00:25:52 Speaker 2: But I mean with hamlegs. All that said, it seems like they are they had this fire sale on the pig legs, and were they not selling well? Were you the only person on the planet buying I don't know who else is buying this, you know, but it seems like a wonderful deal. Maybe you know, after this episode explodes onto the internet, people are gonna there's gonna be a ham fever. It's true. There is be snatching them up all over the country. 00:26:18 Speaker 3: So I wanted to bring When you invited me on this podcast and you told me no gifts, immediately thought I must purchase an entire ham leg. 00:26:27 Speaker 2: Well, this is our dynamic. I asked you not to do something, and then your psychological game. 00:26:32 Speaker 3: Yes, and of course I have to choose the most cumbersome gift to ever. 00:26:36 Speaker 2: Sure, just give me kind of a curse, Like what would you do. 00:26:40 Speaker 3: With a fifteen pound ham leg in a wooden holder and a carving knife. 00:26:45 Speaker 2: I would trap you in my apartment and demand that you slice it for me because I am not good with knives. Oh it's a sharp knife. I cut myself. 00:26:54 Speaker 3: Oh, I would absolutely cut myself. I've provided gloves to my writing staff. Gloves, yes, mem no, no, no, like there's a box of gloves by the ham station. 00:27:04 Speaker 2: Okay, rubber glove. 00:27:05 Speaker 3: No, like like plastic sandwich mean like like uh food prep gloves? 00:27:09 Speaker 2: Oh kind of like uh sea through ones? Yes, okay, that's a very sanitary You should be running a pig restaurant. What can I say? 00:27:19 Speaker 3: A pig restaurant. I love the way you said that, as if it's a genre of restaurant. Well like eating tonight Italian Mexican pig. 00:27:28 Speaker 2: Honey, take me out to a pig at dinner please. 00:27:33 Speaker 3: So I went back to Costco this week, and uh, there were no more. 00:27:39 Speaker 2: No more, hopefully the future holds some next time you buy one, I've got it. I have to try it. Well, maybe I know, Oh you know what, I should have filled up a hambag for you. Oh yeah, because there's still some still some in the room. Yeah, we've only had. 00:27:53 Speaker 3: It out there in a dark room because we have only in a windowless room by the way, creepy. 00:27:58 Speaker 2: But it's wearing a little cape and it looks that's true. That's true. Okay, Well, I mean we've circled around this. Yes, there's a gift. You brought me, this gift obviously, and I'm not going to say no to a gift that's been displaced upon me. I can tell you're seething an anger. I am just trembling right now. I'm just barely controlling my heart right. 00:28:30 Speaker 3: But you know it is your own fault, because you knew what I would the moment you told me not to do something, you knew I was. 00:28:35 Speaker 2: Going to have it quite figured out our our psychic sexual relationship. I'm always the fool in it. I'm always the one with my leg in the trap. But one day I'll learn, and you're going to just be destroyed. I need to do I guess I need to go more emotional psychological. 00:28:55 Speaker 3: I think you'll find that that'll fail you. 00:28:58 Speaker 4: You're a very craspy zero emotions. That's true, that's very true. You're I mean, very few things can affect Jessica gow. But I'm going to find something. 00:29:12 Speaker 3: Arguably, you have found the thing, because gift giving does is the only thing in life that stresses me out. 00:29:18 Speaker 2: Stresses you out? This did this stress you out? 00:29:20 Speaker 3: This did stress me out because my because I had the perfect gift picked. 00:29:24 Speaker 2: Out, sure, and then everything everything, my beloved Costco betrayed me. Oh and you've given them so much, I. 00:29:33 Speaker 3: Know, and so and that was your true intent is to hurt me, of course to my. 00:29:39 Speaker 2: Core, which is I showed you that your lover didn't care for you. My God. Yes, your God, your lover, your husband, your child, your community, Yes, like none. I am married to my God. You're a Costco nune. Well, let's you know, maybe I'll open it up. Why don't you let's see what's happening here. I love this wrapping paper. It's kind of a I want to say, almost a Scandinavian holiday paper with what appeared to be trees. Uh. Oh, you know, various things, and then this beautiful bow. I'm so bad. I didn't learn to tie my shoes until I was in first grade. My younger sister taught me how to tie my shoes in your younger sister, Oh my, that's when I that's when I learned the power of how much more powerful women are than them. Uh, and I'll never forget it. Okay, And it's got a little cart on it. Okay, just two bridger from Jessica beautiful. Let's open up. It's called a gift tag bridger. I get a card. Do you need a bridge? You're going to just struggle quickly with a very simil control of my hands. It's the same kind of ribbon that you would tie your shoes with. So yeahs are not made for untied eyeing that old Nancy Sinatra song. Let's see here, Okay, just rip it, Chip Richard, just really like to rip. I like to see. 00:31:09 Speaker 3: Look, this is a testament to the rappings that you couldn't tell where the seam was. 00:31:13 Speaker 2: Oh what is happening here? Oh this is beautiful? Are these Costco cookies? They are why? That's why I was grinning like a fool when you brought up Costco. This is a treat deluxe. I've opened the thing. It's a twenty four cookie count of these chocolate chunk cookies from Costco, which the Costco Bakery. I will say it's fantastic, it really is, and really do some wonderful We have now turned this into the Costco Podcast. Everything is going according to plan. We will see that it was your suggestion. But really, I've said again, back to the psycho sexual games. I am. You're always one step ahead of me. It's disgusting, beautiful. Okay, so there's something underneath it as well. We'll get to that soon. But you obviously know of my love of cookies. Absolutely. I am a cookie fanatic, yes, lifelong. I will eat any type of cookie. I'm very snobbish about it, but also absolutely open to eating any type of cookie. Yeah, do you like cookies? I do, but I'm very picky. I'm not like you. 00:32:29 Speaker 3: I'm not desperately crawling in the streets for a taste of anything sweet. 00:32:36 Speaker 2: I am in the gutter, just looking for that little morsel, just feeming. Yes, So what is a good cookie? Do you? I love a classic chocolate chip. 00:32:47 Speaker 3: I love what I really would like and I can never find is chocolate chip with Macadamian nuts because Macadamian eggs are always white chocolate, which I hate. 00:32:57 Speaker 2: That's what a waste of a cookie. Sweet? But I want a chocolate chip cookie with Macadamien. Have you found this? I think, Uh, Pepperidge Farms does one, Okay? And how do you feel about a Pepperidge? I love a Milano. I love Oh that's a very soothing cookie. I love them Milana texture. It's a very smooth. Yeah, it's like a very nineteen ninety five luxury. 00:33:23 Speaker 3: Yes, it's like remember when Viennetta was a big course. 00:33:27 Speaker 2: I exhacised about getting one of those, and then we eventually got one and it was fine. But the commercials, I mean, oh made it look like. 00:33:36 Speaker 3: Oh no, I would have done any like my parents went through a spell where they kept buying it for me because that's all I wanted to eat and I loved it. 00:33:44 Speaker 2: How big was that? Was it? About the size of a loaf of bread? Yeah? It was like a Swiss roll, okay, Swiss roll or a pound cake? All right? And they would come in different flavors or was there only one? 00:33:55 Speaker 3: As far as I remember, there was only like a classic, you know, like a it was like a chocolate amven like with whipped cream and yeah. 00:34:03 Speaker 2: And I feel like there was some recent resurgence with those, right. Yeah. 00:34:07 Speaker 3: I don't know if they ever went away in England a British British held on. No, No, it was like a it's a British brand. 00:34:14 Speaker 2: Oh okay, this feels like a great British bakeoff item they should be making. That should be around two. But it's ice cream. It's not really a cake. Oh you want to talk to me about the Great Britain. They've gone off track. I can't cite a single example, but I do. I do remember recent seasons they've had episodes I have nothing to do with baking. Yeah, watch that show? 00:34:36 Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, like like when they had them grill flatbread. Oh, I haven't seen this one episodes were they this was this was not the recent season, but maybe like two or three seasons ago. 00:34:47 Speaker 2: Yeah, they were like grilling flatbread? What? 00:34:50 Speaker 3: Yeah, which really felt like it was stretching the limits of a bake off. 00:34:54 Speaker 2: Yeah. What was there a theme to that episode? 00:35:01 Speaker 3: I don't remember, but I also think that that's an example of how it shouldn't be a part of it if you can't even place a theme. 00:35:08 Speaker 2: With Oh, yeah, I guess it's flatbread. The theme is flatbread. The theme is bread bread. I do love a flatbread. But actually, I'll say this, I like a freshly made flat bread. If you have like a peta that came out of a plastic bag, it's basically chewing rubber. You know. Look, it's no cookie in your it's no cookie. I So I have a complicated relationship, not even actually it's very simple. It's I love eating cookies. But for the first four years of my life in Los Angeles, I was eating nine cookies a night. Why did you keep count? That's a great question. Yeah, it didn't matter what type of cookie. It was a nine cookie size, didn't matter what size. So it arranged from like a Nutter butter to uh, like I began making my own cookie and so like a chocolate chip cookie, this sort of thing. Eventually realized that maybe that, I mean, maybe not a normal normal amount of cookies to be eating. So I've recently downsized to three cookies a night. But it's still a very uh it's something that I stick to, and it's probably the only constant that I currently deal with. You've made cookies for me before, I have. You sat in my kitchen and watched me make cookies. Yeah, so you made me like a paleo cookie. 00:36:30 Speaker 3: Right, So it's made with almond flour and it's sweetened with maple syrup. 00:36:34 Speaker 2: It was delicious, it was. But it was also peanut butter chocolate chip, chocolate chip. I like a peanut butter chocolate chip. I've made those before. I'm more of a cake person. Oh, interesting, love a cake? Do you make cakes? 00:36:46 Speaker 1: No? 00:36:46 Speaker 2: I do not. 00:36:47 Speaker 3: I'm actually not a baker. I don't really bake for you love to cook. I love to cook. Most people who love to cook don't bakest bakers don't cook. 00:36:55 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a weird. It's a different personality type. I feel. I don't cook at all. 00:36:58 Speaker 3: What is what is the I don't like the precision of baking. I don't And I just don't like the blind faith of it, because you have to be very precise and then throw everything together and the throat in the oven and just pray and that it works out the way it's promised. Too much blind faith. What I like about cooking is you're constantly adjusting. You can improvise, you can every step of the way you're adjusting and fixing it. 00:37:21 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, And I think for me, I find comfort in knowing that i have to do everything exactly right. I've given a strict set of instructions that i cannot move away from, and then I'm rewarded with a cookie. Whereas with the cooking, I can't trust myself to if I have any wiggle room, I'm going to put too much or too little of something in and screw up the whole process. 00:37:49 Speaker 3: That's the great thing is that if you do too much or too little something, you can always adjust and fix it. 00:37:53 Speaker 2: And baking you're screwed. You're screwed. You're just starting out a whole you have to start over. 00:37:58 Speaker 3: Yeah, Well like a terrified nineteen fifty's house. 00:38:01 Speaker 2: Why before her every home? Okay, Well, I don't know. Anything that allows some level of decision making on my part terrifies me. I mean, that's why I'm not going to a yogurt land, because I'm out of control and I will ruin whatever it is that I'm supposed to it. 00:38:21 Speaker 3: I will only go to yogurt land is to pink. I don't like it. I don't want somebody else making. 00:38:25 Speaker 2: It for him. 00:38:26 Speaker 1: Oh. 00:38:26 Speaker 2: Interesting, I won't go to Pinkberry either. I guess maybe my problem was one of the owners of Pinkberry murdered a homeless man. There's that. 00:38:34 Speaker 3: What has he He was driving through somewhere. It was like a road rage incident and he got out of his car and beat a homeless man to death and then drove off. 00:38:44 Speaker 2: What Yeah it was Scott. Is he in prison that? I don't know. I think he went to trial for it, but he got off. Who knows. I don't know. I don't know. I didn't fall. 00:38:53 Speaker 3: I didn't keeping because look once I heard that, I was like, it's I don't need to follow the story. 00:38:57 Speaker 2: I'm done Berry murder, the pink Berry. 00:39:00 Speaker 3: Oh. 00:39:00 Speaker 2: I was never a fan of pink Berry. I just felt like, well, it was just because it was the first in La. 00:39:05 Speaker 3: Yeah, I love yogurt Land because this is going to shock you to your core. I like to get just the original tart. Okay, no toppings? 00:39:15 Speaker 2: What? Oh? No no toppings? That is not normal behavior. You're just going in and filling up a. 00:39:22 Speaker 3: Fill up and I get the biggest size, and I feel and I'm paying seven dollars. You know that that's a lot of a lot of yoga, a lot of yogurt, no toppings. 00:39:31 Speaker 2: Wow, that and you're eating the whole thing. Absolutely, your tongue is not completely numb by the end of it. No, I mean, I will say that's the That is probably what people should do it yogurt Land, rather than putting in like two ounces of yogurt and then dumping M and m's and skittles all over it. Yes, just eat skittles and M and ms. Yeah, if you want to go to the Groceres yogurt Land, yes, thank you. So you're a you're a true purist. I'm very much as very minimal approach. Also, here's the other thing. I love cake. Don't care for frosting. Okay, I can see that, actually frosted cake. I don't like a cupcake because it's almost entirely Yes, I scrape off all the frosting on cupcake. Yeah, I could get me. I need a little bit of frosting maybe in the middle of a cake, but yeah. 00:40:21 Speaker 3: A little bit is fine, especially if it's a red velvet cake. You have to have some cream cheese, sure, but generally speaking, just frosting is too. 00:40:29 Speaker 2: Well, it's a cake that depends on frost. Let's if it's a wonderful chocolate cake, it doesn't need an ounce of frost. Aly dive right into the sponge. I'm not a huge cake person in general. I feel like it's enormous commitment. It's like you're committing to that one flavor for essentially a pound of food. And this is where I'm a cookie man. I can eat. I can eat a cookie, and then if I enjoy it, I can eat eight more. If I don't enjoy it, I'm already done with the commitment. Who's forcing you to eat an entire cake? Bridger? Well, my cake master standing behind me and just demanding. 00:41:13 Speaker 3: Been in a situation where I had to commit to eating the. 00:41:16 Speaker 2: Entire It happens to me multiple times a week. I thing. 00:41:20 Speaker 3: Usually you eat a cake somewhere where someone serves you one slice. 00:41:24 Speaker 2: Oh not me. I'm getting married every Friday and my husband is shoving a cake in my mouth. 00:41:29 Speaker 3: Wait, do you think that at weddings the groom has to eat the entire cake? 00:41:34 Speaker 2: That's at every wedding I've been to, I've watched them eat themselves sick someone rolls them out of the room, and you know, the wedding guests are all crying. But that's tradition. Let's talk about these cookies, these cookies. Should I eat one? Yes? So is that going to be a sound that podcast listeners can turn your head? Do you want a cookie? Stephen? I think we should all eat it. I'll eat a Costco cookie. So I buy some bulk. Yeah. 00:42:03 Speaker 3: So once I realized I couldn't the ham On was was not in the cards, I I thought, well, what what should I get in bulk for Bridger? And I thought, well, he's a desperate cookie hound, so I should go and big, get the biggest package of cookies. And honestly, I have to say, I'm disappointed at how this is not the size that I wanted. I was hoping that there would be a package of cookies that was like three times. 00:42:27 Speaker 2: This twenty four cookies though, that's a lot of cookies, and these. 00:42:30 Speaker 3: I wanted you to have sixty cookie. I wanted sixty cookie cookie for you. 00:42:35 Speaker 2: I would have taken them. I would have frozen some, I would have enjoyed some. Tonight, I'm trying a cookie. It's cheuwier than I thought it would be. This is a good cookie. H I think this is a very good cookie. It's like it's not dry and it's not too moist. It's just like a nicely baked It's a good chocolate to cookie ratio. No you as a cookie? Or is there a Costco genius? Do you think they're making these from scratch at Costco? Or is this broad in frozen and they're baking it? Mmm? I bet I bet it's brought in frozen and they're baking it. Okay, I hate to say it. 00:43:13 Speaker 3: That's fine, although I don't know they bake their cakes on side, so why wouldn't they make the cooks they gat the do. 00:43:19 Speaker 2: You know what? Speaking of frosting and cake and Costco, I kind of like the frosting at Costco. It's like that light frost. Yes, they've got a great sheet cake there, very very affordable. 00:43:30 Speaker 3: Yes, you can order one that's custom. That's what I should have gotten. Actually, a gigantic sheet cake that's like a Yeah, that's a nude photo and I have so many to choose. 00:43:41 Speaker 2: Well, I'm sending them to you constantly. What do you think hourly? Yeah, Jessica, can I get your eyes on this. But sometimes you send me a nude and you just say no notes please. Well, sometimes I just need to put it out into the world without your harsh critic. How long do you think this container of twenty four cookies is going to last you? I'm going to say, well, I'm probably going to eat three a night if I just stuck to an eight day plan that you know, Well, that's what we've already eaten three, so down to twenty one. So that's seven days of cookies. And these are pretty sizable cookies. 00:44:17 Speaker 3: I would say, Yeah, they're bigger than the base of a coffee mug. 00:44:21 Speaker 2: Yeah, So I'm going to what I'm going to say is I'm going to do two of these a night, but I'm also going to freeze a significant portion of them and mix it, mix it up with the other cookies I currently have in my home. For Christmas, Jim, my boyfriend, bought me Leveine Bakery cookies. Have you ever had a Levein cookie? No, I haven't. This is a bakery in New York that's kind of a famous thing at this point, but I've been a longtime fan of their cookies, which are essentially the size of a softball, and he had some of those shipped two our apartment and so those are currently occupying a large portion of our freezer. So I've got those. I have cookie dough I made personally, and recently my mom sent me a box full of piscatti, So this is now entering the cookie rotation. Oh my god, you're a cookie baron. I mean my apartment. The food in my apartment is one of the most insane things that a person could see. And I can acknowledge this. There is nothing of any nutritional value. There is a fridge with water, coffee, and milk in it, all cookie accessories, all cookie accessories, and then a freezer literally packed with cookies. And then I have protein bars for breakfast the rest of it. There's nothing else to eat in my apartment. And it's really you're any human. This is the this is the diet of a serial killer. One every I'm sorry, I've got food in my mouth and I've got cookie. Anytime we have somebody come to watch the dog, I remember, Oh no, they're going to look through the pantry and be like, oh yeah, I'm going to die in Bridgers apartment. He's gonna bake me into a giant cookie. Oh wouldn't that be sweet? Now, okay, so we've made it. I'm still enjoying my cookie. But the cookies are not the only part of this gift. There's also and I've never successfully said this word, so I'm gonna give it a shot. Ferrero Roche. 00:46:19 Speaker 3: I've always said Ferrero Rocher, but I don't know, but sure like if it was truly French, it would be rochet. 00:46:28 Speaker 2: This is one of my earliest Costco memories is them bringing these around during the holidays and thinking that is the fanciest sandy I've ever seen. 00:46:37 Speaker 3: Absolutely, Yes, when you're a child, you think that must cost a million dollars. 00:46:42 Speaker 2: Yes, And I still have no This would take me down on the prices, right, I have no idea how much this costs. 00:46:47 Speaker 3: This is and this is like kind of like a fancy ish gift box of it. 00:46:51 Speaker 2: So I because I. 00:46:53 Speaker 3: Was disappointed by the quantity of cookies in that container, I thought I have to get more cookies from Bridger. And I was walking down the Cookies and crackers aisle trying to make some decisions, real hard decisions, and I thought, am I Am I really going to put together a gift basket of cookies now at this point. But then I saw the Ferrero and I thought, well, nothing's a classier gift oh than a gift box of Ferrero Rush. 00:47:17 Speaker 2: So I'm going to hold a dinner party and everyone's going to think I'm extra fancy. Everyone's going to think you became a millionaire. Richard get all this money. He's got twenty one cookies and forty eight Ferrero rocher. 00:47:30 Speaker 3: Now, because this is a Costco blog, I don't mind telling the listeners that this was. 00:47:35 Speaker 2: This gift box was thirteen dollars and fifty cents. That's nothing. That's very little. That's yeah, two bags of M and ms. This is at least fifty thousand dollars worth of Ferrara rum oh of course our Oh, I think you're being kind. This is this is seventy five grand of chocolate and hazelnut. 00:47:54 Speaker 3: Absolutely, And so you see why the gift wrapping was a bit of a feat. 00:48:00 Speaker 2: Yeah, because these are two oddly shaped boxes. And I'm now just the podcast is me talking with a cookie in my mouth. I think that's from now on, you will not hear my voice if there's not some sort of baked good. And I apologize. No, these two objects put together would be very difficult to wrap, and you managed to make a charming wrapping out of it, which is something I couldn't do. And you thought it was one item. I thought it was well to be fair to me, I thought it was six dead pigeons together so melded into one beautiful sculpture. Yes, as you do. You did go to art school. I did. I was an art major. That's right, so that I guess, well they did. There was no gift wrapping class in all I don't know if that's true. There should be. 00:48:47 Speaker 3: You know, people, when whenever the world found out that Candy Spelling, widow of Aaron Spelling had a had not one, not two, but three gift wrapping rooms in her mansion, everybody made fun of her. 00:48:59 Speaker 2: But you know what, town that doesn't sound wonderful. Yesterday, I could have used at least one wrapping room. 00:49:04 Speaker 3: Imagine if I said, Bridger, come over, you can use my gift wrap room. 00:49:07 Speaker 2: Oh, I would kill yeah. And to have three, you've got one for having gifts, one for crying. 00:49:14 Speaker 3: One for well, I imagine therefore different seasons like I'm sure Christmas has. 00:49:18 Speaker 2: Its own room that makes sense, right, eight day room, Yeah, and then the miscellaneous room, the baptism room, yeah, or maybe. 00:49:25 Speaker 3: One was for making gift baskets, one worms for actual gift rapping. Oh, there's any number of ways I could organize multiple gift wrapping rooms. 00:49:32 Speaker 2: Oh my god. Is there a fact that more people know than this fact that she owned these three gift wrapping rooms. I feel like every person on the planet is aware that Candy spelling. 00:49:43 Speaker 3: Yes, well, they made such a big deal. The tabloidsm makes such a big deal. 00:49:46 Speaker 2: Okay, what year was it. I feel like I learned this in maybe nineteen ninety seven? Does that feel right? Yeah? 00:49:53 Speaker 3: I would say sometime in the late nineties was when it first came to light, when the investigative journalist first discovered. 00:50:00 Speaker 2: Correct the case. Is Candy still alive? She is, She's probably in one of those rooms right now. No, she sold that house, got a state Yeah. Okay, So I wonder who lives there now and. 00:50:12 Speaker 3: Someone who is having a wonderful time wrap gift long you know what I was wondering, And maybe this does exist. 00:50:19 Speaker 2: But you know there are those t shirt folding things. Yes, is there something like that for gifts? Am I giving away a million dollar idea right now. I would kill to have something that's essentially one of the because I've used those T shirt folding things and they work beautifully for a. 00:50:35 Speaker 3: Gift, I think, well, yeah, it's called a gift bag. Gift bags were invented for people like you. Now I want to feel like a professional. I want to you know, what might be helpful for you is the Japanese like to use textiles to wrap a gift because then it's reusable. 00:50:52 Speaker 2: That's genius. 00:50:53 Speaker 3: That is the one thing is that whenever I do have to wrap it, I try to avoid wrapping a gift whenever I can, just because I always feel so guilty that we're wasting so much paper. Yes, but but you know, the Japanese will use like beautiful textiles and and you know, there's like different techniques to doing it, and that way the person who receives it can reuse it and wrap it. 00:51:12 Speaker 2: And you just can't at smart you just go down to the fabrics store. Oh maybe I'll give that a shot. And then I feel like that you don't have the crinkling. 00:51:20 Speaker 3: Yes, the exactly you kind of just you just you know, tie it up on top and put a put a ribbon on it or something, or if you know how to tie it in a beautiful way. 00:51:29 Speaker 2: Yes, then as a country I think has really nailed packaging. Yes, I think they're great up packaging. Whether it's a gift or whatever, it always looks neatly prepared and very precisely designed. Yeah. Interesting, what are they doing over there that the rest of us are failing out all kinds of weird shit? I haven't had one in a long time. I'm not I'm not going to eat one right now because I will be sick. Or is it because you are saving this to bring to a dinner party? That's true, everyone here, I am. Do either of you want one? 00:52:02 Speaker 3: Well, now I'm afraid because I feel like you are going to You've been You're planning to bring this to a dinner party. I'm not just checking me up right, I crack it open. Of course I want one. I will never say no. 00:52:14 Speaker 2: To a Ferrero. The thing for me is I need to save a little room for treats later, because I like to have a treat at the end of the day. 00:52:19 Speaker 3: And if I eat one of these now, look, you're nowhere, and I've been keeping track of your caloric intake today and you're nowhere near nine cookies. 00:52:28 Speaker 2: Well, you know, as I said, I'm done doing nine cookies. It's now a three cookie. This is you weaning yourself. This is your methadone. I'm opening. This is a beautiful package. 00:52:40 Speaker 3: I think you're gonna have to undo more tape. Okay, yeah, because you only did half and. 00:52:44 Speaker 2: If this had been wrapped in Japan it would be open by now. That's true. 00:52:48 Speaker 3: But this is although unless if this is a criticism of Costco, then I won't stand for. 00:52:52 Speaker 2: Not a criticism. Maybe maybe just a Ferrero corporation. Who's I'm actually gonna look here and see where these are made New Jersey? So oh in Italy? Of course it's the Italians. The Italians have done a terrible job with this package. I mean, there you go, well over the natural muscles of bridge are trying or do not stand in the way of my strength. This is all going to get edited. I have to have faith that this is all going to be Oh, this is going to be turned the volume will be turned up and there will be like kind of a little beat put behind it. Can I assist in any way? Absolutely not. I'm going to do this myself. I have to know. This is how you that I this is how you torture me. I could get this, Bridgie can get. 00:53:38 Speaker 3: It, bridge you can get Can we get your little sister in here to have helped. 00:53:43 Speaker 2: She would have this done by now, she would have these plated. Okay you and actually, once you get that wrap done, it feels so satisfying. Yes, oh look at that. Oh this is truly. This feels like we're at my christening or something and rising here we go. You have to eat. I am not eating one. I will be so six, very rude. Eat a Ferrero a lie offered with a full Uh. You know, I told everyone in the room I would not be eating one right now because the cookie is still settling in me and I can't do it. Okay, it's still settling. This is my This will be my eight o'clock treat. Once I turn on the outsider, I feel like it's going nowhere. Can I just say Ferrero a Classic. It's such a good The texture is perfect. I think it's always great. You bite into it and it like gives just enough and then it it's like a little uh Faberge egg or something. It's a beautiful The Italians have really outdone themselves with us. And I'm usually not that crazy about other hazelnut flavored things or things of hazel nuts. I will eat one of I mean, I'm gonna go wild on this box. Oh I love hazel nut. 00:54:56 Speaker 3: So I also wanted to bring this to you because, like, I'm sure this is true in a lot of other cultures, but Chinese people love ferrero. 00:55:05 Speaker 2: Oh is that true? Oh? 00:55:06 Speaker 3: Yeah, they love gifting this. I wonder why, Like they have the reverence. Where it that children have for it? 00:55:11 Speaker 2: Wow? And does this be like a recent thing or is it? 00:55:14 Speaker 3: No? It's alway as far back as I can remember, Ferrero was always like a gift you bring to people, Like you know, if you went to somebody's house for dinner or something, you bring them some Ferrera. 00:55:23 Speaker 2: And you have no idea why or it's just I think just because it looks fancy. Yeah, it just looks like a nice thing and it is a good. So Chinese culture has just figured out, here's a good fancy thing. Let's get on to it. Chinese people also love seas candies. Oh listen, I would I would bring Mary c back from the dead and marry her. I love thees candies. I know some people don't like these candies and schools. I love a Scotch mallow. Have you ever had a scotch mallow? Well, I'm just not a fan. I'm not a marshmallow person. Oh well, that's where you and I I get. This is what began, the psycho sexual dynamic, our differing opinions on marshmallows, and then it's just led to death and distruction. 00:56:04 Speaker 3: Can I tell you a treat I like to make in the summertime that I think you would really enjoy? Yes, because I do love a s'more. And I say some more, not some more? 00:56:12 Speaker 2: Oh no, one anyone who says some more is trying to goddamn fool. I like to make s'mores ice cream sandwiches. Oh so you're no marshmallow, So no, no, no. So like when I eat as more, of course I have to. 00:56:26 Speaker 3: Marshmallow is part of it, okay, and I'll some I've even been known around a campfire to eat a toast in marshmallow sola. 00:56:31 Speaker 2: Oh interesting, that's the only time I like it. 00:56:33 Speaker 3: But in the summer I do, so I get gram crackers, scoop of chocolate ice cream and then a smattering of marshmallow fluff. Okay, and I'll just make a whole bunch of those, wrap it in wax paper and then put it in the freezer, and you have a Smores ice cream sandwiches all summer. 00:56:50 Speaker 2: Oh so there's no toasted element. I thought you were going to say. Then I bring out my FLOMBEI no tool and toast it. 00:56:57 Speaker 3: Truly, you have to have nerves of steel to make these though, because it's a race against time, the melting. 00:57:03 Speaker 2: The ice cream is. 00:57:04 Speaker 3: Melting before your eyes as you're trying to get through twenty five ice cream sandwiches. 00:57:08 Speaker 2: Delicious. Why have I not been invited over for a small ice cream sandwich? It's because I hate you. Well that aside. 00:57:17 Speaker 3: That aside, Well, I've made a hard pivot to another frozen tree to haven't hit them in a while. I make a frozen mini key lime pies. 00:57:25 Speaker 2: Oh we have one of those? Okay? So on other things have you made that I haven't been able to try I make? Oh, you had my banana pudding. The banana pudding is incredible every time. It's just a miracle. And uh, I think you've had when I make strawberry mochi cakes. I have delicious, always a very nice texture. Yes, and in the summer I do strawberry rubarb of mochik. God, you I. 00:57:49 Speaker 3: Love a seasonal ingredient. You love a seasonal ingredient, Yes you do. But yes, the key and the mini key lime pies. The reason they're so delicious is I sit there and I hand squeeze a pound of key Wow. 00:58:01 Speaker 2: And I assume purchased at Costco. No, because they would sell key limes Costco. I know. 00:58:06 Speaker 3: The only place that sells key limes that I find are is Sprouts. 00:58:11 Speaker 2: Is a key lime just sweeter than a regular line? Is that? 00:58:14 Speaker 3: What the No? 00:58:14 Speaker 2: It's actually it's a more intense tart flavor. Oh okay, I guess that makes sense because you're putting sugar into it. You don't want it to be sweeter. 00:58:21 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, So you're a very concentrated lime flavor. 00:58:24 Speaker 2: You're squeezing all of this line they're tiny, yes, And then you're making the curd or whatever it is. Yeah, yes, it's a cream cheese based okay. And then pouring it into a gram cracker. Is that what's happening? I pour them into a cupcake mold. 00:58:39 Speaker 3: Okay, and then oh, and you know you do uh the recipe I use calls for a cool whip, cool whip, and I refuse, so I make I make whip cream. And I think that's what makes that elevates it. 00:58:51 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:58:52 Speaker 3: And so then you put you you know, you get your whole mixture together and then you pour I pour it into a cupcake mold. And then at the top is where I put the gram cracker crust, and then you an upside down like a little. 00:59:04 Speaker 2: You know thing. Oh, that's a duel. It's very cute. We're to the part in the podcast where we're going to play a game. Oh, I know you didn't think there we're gonna be any games outside of our usual mouse cat' and mouse. But there's a game and I'm gonna I think we're going to play a game called Gift or a Curse. Okay, we're gonna play Gift or a Curse. I've been playing that with you all day, yes, and it just intensifies and intensifies. But I need a number from you between one and ten six six Okay. Right now, I'm going to do some calculating. I want you to while I'm doing my calculating. I just want you to recommend something to my listeners that might improve their lives. It doesn't matter what it is. I think you know what I'm going to suggest. Okay, take your time. I'm going into the cave. I will figure out what what's gonna happen with the and i'll return after. You're just gonna leave me alone. And you're having you You're now at the uh. You're piloting the podcast. I have died as the pilot, and you're trying. You're going to keep us in the air until I come back to life. 01:00:14 Speaker 3: Okay, well, now that Bridger's gone, I can officially reveal that this is now on Costco podcast. And of course, my suggestion for everyone to improve their lives is a Costco membership. 01:00:28 Speaker 2: Now, Costco memberships come in two tiers. 01:00:30 Speaker 3: There is the regular gold Star membership and then there's the gold Star Executive Membership. 01:00:36 Speaker 2: I do have one tip. 01:00:37 Speaker 3: For everyone in California, at least because of the California dram laws. 01:00:41 Speaker 2: Did you know that you can purchase. 01:00:43 Speaker 3: Alcohol at Costco without a membership, So all you have to do is go into the go to the Oh no. 01:00:51 Speaker 2: I guess you're never gonna find out what the tip is. Sorry, you can't use the tip. Now you've got You've done enough shilling for this company. How would you know what I was shilling if you were out of the room and not listening. I heard the echo. I could just feel yes. Okay, So what how THO game works is? I'm going to name three things, and you're going to tell me if it's a gift or a curse and why? Okay, okay? Item number one, reclining your seat on a plane. Is that a gift or a curse? It's a curse? Why? Because there's such debate? 01:01:34 Speaker 3: Well, it's a curse first and foremost because the airlines are terrible and all they do is try to think of increasing ways that they can squeeze you for discomfort. Yes, but I think the world is very divided on whether or not it's okay to recline your seat, whether it's an asshole move or not. And because no one can agree on it, if the person in front of you reclines, you kind of have to do it to give yourself space, and it starts as a domino effect. But if everybody signed the social contract saying no, Well, none of us are going to recline our seats. That's fine too, but I mean, truly, the enemy is the airlines, and it's just a way for us to fight amongst ourselves while the overlords laugh. 01:02:16 Speaker 2: I think, you know, I actually, wow, you've really nailed this in a way that I didn't expect. I mean, I just going to the leaving out the politics. Just reclining your seat for me as a gift, absolutely a gift. But you do you start to look at the bigger picture and the vision we're seeing as a planet over this subject is heart wrenching. Has that stopped me from reclining my seat? Of course not. Ever, the airlines are absolutely absolutely to blame the amount of things they've taken away from us without advancing in any other way is why that said, you're wrong. I'm going to say reclining your seat on a plane is a gift, and I think if we all embrace, then it's a gift because we need to take a nap on a plane because it's the most painful thing we do as human beings fly through the air. Why can't we all just agree to let ourselves inch back a few that all that said, I'm the size of a small child. Yes, so it's probably unfair for me to say this, But the option is there. The option is that, why can't You can't dangle the option of being able to recline slightly and take a nap in front of me and not expect me to take it. That's I guess that's why it's I can see why you think that's a curse, because it's like, here's the. 01:03:47 Speaker 3: The fact that you had to jump through this many hoops to explain your position makes it a curse. 01:03:52 Speaker 2: But again, the thing that makes it a gift is that I'm right. 01:03:55 Speaker 3: And while us proletariats squabble amongst ourselves, tearing each other to shreds, are a capitalist overlords are laughing in their ivory towers. 01:04:08 Speaker 2: I guess we all just need to set our sights on the We have to take down the airlines. Yeah, we have to destroy all Who is going to do it? Is there any airline that's treating people like people? 01:04:18 Speaker 3: That's why I had to come here today to discuss this matter. 01:04:21 Speaker 2: With the Costco airline. Costco, it's time for your air I feel like they would make a good airline. 01:04:27 Speaker 3: Oh, they would make a fantastic Costco is an excellent resource for renting cars. 01:04:32 Speaker 2: I am so thrilled at how much information is being shared about Costco on this podcast. 01:04:37 Speaker 3: By the way, Costco also sells members discounted memberships to uh like those. 01:04:42 Speaker 2: Private airlines like chartered plane caps I've recently heard about, like jet X or something or JetSuite x. Okay, but but not something like that. 01:04:51 Speaker 3: This is more like it's it's like a timeshare plane where you, you know, you buy into like a membership of a you have to pay like a membership fee to be part of a club, and you get a lot at a. 01:04:59 Speaker 2: Certain amount of you know, miles and stuff. Oh interesting, Okay, I don't understand fully understand how that works, but it's basically like your time sharing a private plan. Wow. M oh well, maybe I'll look Well, of course, what am I saying, I'm not going You're not going to? 01:05:14 Speaker 3: Yes, if you the day that you purchase a membership to a private fleet of chartered planes before I do. 01:05:23 Speaker 2: The fact that I even remotely jumped to that, I will look into this something who's broken in my brain? Yes? Absolutely, this is why I only could eat the cookie because I'm considering buying a private plane after a single cookie. If I had eaten the Ferraro, I would be at Costco right now buying the getting plane. Yes, okay, so uh zero out of three so far. 01:05:46 Speaker 3: Also, I didn't realize that this was going to be a graded test based on a person who has proven to be completely wrong most of the time. 01:05:54 Speaker 2: Well, looks like I have outdone you at last. You've ambushed. I have finally found my in. Okay. Number two, gift or a curse? Brazil nuts. Brazil Nuts, of course, are kind of a cockroach size nut. I'm gonna say gift because they're delicious, Okay. I look, for a long period of my life I considered the brazil nut a curse. I thought it was the worst nut in the nut mix. I thought it was just getting in the way. And I think a lot of people agree. They think it's kind of a bland, large thing to chew on. About two years ago, I was seeing a therapist who for the most part, did not help me in any way. I mean, not much as obvious. But at the same time, my doctor had told me my cholesterol was high m and I shared this with my therapist as I was just reaching for topics to talk to about. With this guy, he recommended brazil nuts to brazil nuts a day to lower your cholesterol. Two is all it takes. I was extremely skeptical, I mean him being a not a great therapist. Aside the brazil nuts, it seemed like kookie science to me. I did a decent amount of research on the internet and it seems to be kind of a proven thing. So I am now eating two brazil nuts every morning. The things I'm revealing on this podcast about how I eat, someone is going to assassinate me. Someone take me out. And that is how I got one in over each again, boiled again, just when I was about to take over. No, I have been eating two brazil nuts a day since this revelation. My cholesterol has gone way down. I'm now getting, you know, and it feels like a fun little vitamin. See what this box of cookies does to that number. That's true, That's very true. But I'm going to say I'm going to agree with you, and I've I've grown to like the brazil nut. It's deeply underappreciative of them. It's like a would you compare it to a peanut? Is the flavor of peanutty. Is it's its own unique flavor, unique flavor. I guess that may be true. Say it's closer to an almond than a peanut. You think it's got an almondy flavor. I think it's more milder to an almond than a peanut. Okay, But I would say flavor wise, it's more walnut. No. No, See, it's its own things and I'm not going to them on its side. Okay, So now you've gone one out of two. I don't know how to keep score. You've failed one, you've succeeded in one in this game. That's fine, you're this is the one that's going to make or break. Here is number three? Number three gift or a curse. It's an app, it's a website. It's yelp okay gift, a curse? Curse? 01:08:52 Speaker 3: Why because yelpers are some of the worst people on earth and they've completely they they hold business as hostage. I mean, there are a lot of great advantages. It's a great resource. I use it regularly to look up restaurants and businesses and things. But the way that it has given power to absolute raving lunatics is just disconcerting. 01:09:18 Speaker 2: Jessica, You're absolutely right. This is I think Yelp, and I'm going to go into this further is an absolute curse because it's no longer even a good resource to find restaurants. Every restaurant on it has four stars, fifteen hundred reviews. Yes, it's and everyone's insane, almost entirely untrustable at this point. Yeah, it's just flooded with people who are not food critics, who are just complaining about. 01:09:47 Speaker 3: For everything's And also people don't understand that I when I'm reading looking up a restaurant, reading reviews, I just want the headlines. 01:09:54 Speaker 2: I want the bullet one hundred percent. I don't the. 01:09:56 Speaker 3: Ones that are ten paragraphsaurant and that start with so me and the girls. 01:10:00 Speaker 2: I wanted to have a great night out. 01:10:01 Speaker 3: Because it was Sarah's birthday and we weren't able to spend it with her last week because she broke up with Babe. 01:10:07 Speaker 2: It's like, I don't give it you, no one cares. I want you to get the death penalty. 01:10:11 Speaker 3: Said so, by the way, I've said this multiple times in the writer's room now. But people who upload photos of food on Yelp but don't label. 01:10:21 Speaker 2: What's in the photo? Infuriating death penalty? I'm so penalty. This is why you and I can't run a country, because we would have huge list of people who deserve to die, and it would end up being you and I, and then of course we would have to kill it one or the other. 01:10:34 Speaker 3: Yes, we would try to sentence each other to death, and then there would be no more executioner. 01:10:39 Speaker 2: Just one lonely soul. 01:10:41 Speaker 3: Yeah, one of your executioners chasing each other around a vasque country. 01:10:46 Speaker 2: Oh, I don't mind that, I do. Yeah, I feel like Yelp reviews are now so inflated that it's impossible to tell what's actually good or bad. But where do we turn? Where do we turn to find restaurants? At this point, I don't understand what the world has become. I don't I can't trust anybody. The only professional reviewers know. 01:11:08 Speaker 3: The only person you can trust is mea and ask you do have good taste in restaurants? 01:11:15 Speaker 2: Thank you took me to? What was that restaurant we went to? Out in the valley? Uh, the San Gabriel Valley, Yes, San Gabriel Valley. Where did I take you? Spicy? Oh? Cine impression. Yes, delicious. Yes, I was just there last night. We had lamb on toothpicks. Is that what I did? Lamb uh some sort of French fry. It was so deicious. 01:11:37 Speaker 3: Yes, And it's got the smoked ribs, had wantons and chili oil. 01:11:42 Speaker 2: What a what a day for me? The what is? It's a pepper corn that they're putting on it. 01:11:47 Speaker 3: Yes, so it's seshwan uh so seschewon cooking. It's known for spice. It's spice, but specifically for the sechuan flour pepper. And it it's not spicy in terms of like heat. It's spicy in a way that numbs your mouth. 01:12:04 Speaker 2: Yeah. 01:12:04 Speaker 3: Chinese, it's called mo lot. Ma means numb and lot means spicy. Okay, So it numbs your entire mouth and your tongue. 01:12:12 Speaker 2: And it's to me is not uncomfortable, whereas like. 01:12:15 Speaker 3: A lot of people are freaked out by me really well if they're not prepared for it. 01:12:18 Speaker 2: Because usually the spice that I'm used to is just like oh I'm in pain, yes, and then later my stomach is in pain. But with this type of spice, it's like, well, your mouth feels tingly or whatever. But it's not agony. Yes, and it has such an interesting, delicious Yes, you can't stop eating. Yeah, it's just want to keep putting it in your mouth, which is very interesting. Okay, well, so you failed on you failed on the first, You succeeded on the second, the brazil nuts, and I truly triumphed on the third. You absolutely knocked it out of the park. We came together in a way that I don't think anyone listening to this would have expected, you know, but I think that's kind of our dynamic, which is trying to cut each other's throats and then eventually being back to back and putting everyone else's. 01:13:08 Speaker 3: Throats, lifelong friendship ending in death by each other's hands. 01:13:12 Speaker 2: Yes, okay, we've reached the final section of the podcast, which is called I Said No Questions. This is the part of the podcast where listeners right into I Said No Gifts at gmail dot com. These people are desperate. They're reaching out to none other than me. They're reaching out to a podcast they haven't heard yet. Oh, they are reaching out in a big way, and they're asking for help in they're trying to buy gifts for people in their lives or they need advice. Okay, So I'm going to read a couple of these and we're going to try to advise a couple of these poor desperate souls. This is a challenge tailor made for me. I know, and I'm these people are very lucky that following two people are going to get some very good advice. First up, Bridger, I need a gift for my dad's birthday this month. He's the kind of guy who buys nice things for himself, mostly expensive wine, and he hates clutter. He does love books, but I can't keep him buying I can't keep buying him books for every occasion. It's starting to feel lame. That's from Danny in Phoenix. So basically what we're looking at here is Daddy is turning and different age. Daddy loves wine and apparently has too many books, but does enjoy reading. Unless he's just been telling the daughter that he enjoys reading, it is illiterate or something, so she's he also hates clutter, which to me, you've been buying this person books. You're Danny, You're part of them, You're part of her problem. Yeah. Well, first and foremost, i'd be shocked. My first tip would be. 01:14:53 Speaker 3: I would be shocked if he doesn't already have it, but a lovely decanter. If he's such a big wine guy. Oh okay, because it's an extra object, but it's something you absolutely need, you know. 01:15:02 Speaker 2: Sure, it will just assist in the wine drinking. Yes, and if you buy a beautiful enough one, it'll just be decorative. If they can double its decorative. 01:15:10 Speaker 3: The other thing is for people who hate clutter, I always say, get them an experience. So it might be nice if you took your dad to like a wine. 01:15:17 Speaker 2: Tasting there you go, not a bad idea. 01:15:20 Speaker 3: Take and find a great winery, either one that he has yet to discover, maybe his favorite. 01:15:25 Speaker 2: Do go there, do a tasting, a flight. It'll be fun. And now is there like a I feel like there are like custom wine websites or something. Is that something you can order? Like? Uh, like, am I making this up? 01:15:40 Speaker 3: It's it's like, oh, if you take this test, we can we can tell. 01:15:44 Speaker 2: You which wine that you would love. That feels at describe and it sounds like a scam. 01:15:49 Speaker 3: Well, it also just feels like kind of like the Disneyland of wine where it's not for. 01:15:54 Speaker 2: Serious it's not for people who are curious. Wine collectors are not going to be into that yet. They don't want to take a personality test. 01:16:00 Speaker 3: But but yeah, I mean there are like you can have subscribe, you could become members to wineries that you love, and then you can order cases of wines and things and they might like offer you exclusives. 01:16:11 Speaker 2: They'll offer you a discount. 01:16:13 Speaker 3: Most like major wineries, like like they have members and you pay a membership fee. So if you know, if your dad, if there's one specific winery that he is his favorite, it'd mean you could buy him a membership and that means that he would get discounted rates to to. 01:16:27 Speaker 2: All other wines if he buys it by the case. And I feel like a winery. I feel like Arizona probably has some decent wineries. I know there's a few. I don't know if they're decent or not, but I know they exist. It feels like a climate that could work for a winery. Yeah. 01:16:44 Speaker 3: The other thing would be if you got him like some depending on what kind of wine he likes, some lovely chocolates that would be a good pairing. Oh yeah, like a recutee or something. 01:16:55 Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like, well, actually, what about a pig leg that could work with. Get him a Harmon serrano. Yeah, unless he's a vegetarian. I mean on the other side of this, with the book thing, I don't know if you agree. Like an e reader, Yeah, yeah for me, I moved to New York a few years ago and had so many books and there was so much moving going on. It became absolute hell. You had to get rid of all of the books. But now just basically have a kindle, which has its ups and downs. But that might be something you would look into. Yeah, that immediately decreases clutter. Yes, although I'm very skeptical of putting all of our media into electronic forms. Yes, I think that I can disappear with one sharp grons. Yeah. It feels like we're headed towards a future where ninety nine percent of our art vanishes in a mistake and read were left with nothing. Somebody has like copy of the Da Vinci Code, and that's all we've got left to read. It becomes our new Bible. Yeah. Oh that's a Dan Brown is God. Okay, Well, Danny, good luck with that. Get dad, take him to the winery the end of it. Get him the ebook which is full of book you recently purchased books about wine and show him that you only know two things about his personality. I think that's the goal there. Okay, moving on, I think we solved that. 01:18:27 Speaker 3: I think the greatest gift a father can give his children is to have a hobby. 01:18:31 Speaker 2: Oh, absolutely, like a clearly identified hobby. I mean, actually, I think beyond fathers anyone, if you can have one thing that people can look at when buying gifts. Yes, it makes things so much easier. Yes, Although I will say I've got a few hobbies that I'm very clear about frequently don't get any gifts to do with them. All I know about you is you love to eat cookies. I love to eat cookies. I love listening to music. I love playing video games. Oh that's right, I forgot. You are a secret gamer. I'm gonna I mean, I don't want to bring the army of gamers at me. Not that term. And I've been beating the drum since two thousand and five. That's a bad term. I like to play video games. We've played video games. We've played Lovers in a Dangerous Space time. Yeah, yes, you're a bit of a gamer. I wouldn't say that you like a good you love play a video Yes. 01:19:30 Speaker 3: If I find a good game, I'll be really into it for like a month or two, and then I'll go a year without playing a game. 01:19:36 Speaker 2: Okay, have you played anything recently? I haven't played anything, I think since we played Lovers in It. Oh. It was a very traumatic experience. I never want to play another game. And I threw out the whatever video game console we were playing it on, bashed your TV, and then moved on. Absolutely. Okay, let's move on to the next thing. Deer Bridger, My brother is turning fifty this month. The family is having a big celebration for him, which makes me anxious because we haven't spoken in over a year. Oh oh, and here we go. He's a diehard Trump supporter. I couldn't be any further from that ideology. What am I supposed to get my estranged brother for his upcoming milestone? Sincerely, Brian and omaha, Oh this is a complicated one. 01:20:23 Speaker 3: Yes, because here's the thing. It depends on whether or not you are trying to repair this relationship or whether you are trying to send a. 01:20:30 Speaker 2: Message yes or permanently end Yes. 01:20:34 Speaker 3: If you're trying to send a message, and permanently end. I would say, make a donation in his name, Oh, to the ACLU. It's a Plan parenthood any so an immigrant like support like charity something like that. 01:20:48 Speaker 2: Sure that the planned parenthood thing reminds me, among other things. I was, you know, Omaha a few weeks ago and I went into a thrift store called Surprise thrift Store, looking for, you know, just a fun little item perhaps, and the surprise I found was that it was a pro life s wrift store and almost all of the shirts on display said defund plan. Oh my god. It was either that option or yeah it was. It was a rough situation. So it was in Omaha, maybe that's the thing to get the older brothers donate some money to Planned Parenthood. Of course, this is this is a this is the this is the good bye older brother by what you yes, which I'm not opposed to. Absolutely, we don't know your life. You know, we're going to give you all the options. This is the nuclear option. Just jack Ass might have it coming. And I mean he opens that in the middle of his big fiftieth celebration and there fireworks, absolute fireworks. Absolutely. But you know, maybe there's an option to men to the fence, or to try to come closer to the brother, make some type of connection to this person that you disagree with. 01:22:09 Speaker 3: Yes, now, something more neutral, but still like a little bit underhanded. Perhaps buy him a book, and maybe a historical nonfiction book. 01:22:20 Speaker 2: Oh, not a bad idea, something that kind of just gives some perspective. 01:22:23 Speaker 3: Yes, you know, especially depending on the kind of book. Like if you bought him like a World War II history book, you could be like, seems like something up your alley. 01:22:31 Speaker 2: Yes, because I feel like men like that generally love war history. And I also feel like men like that need to be reminded that Nazis are bad. 01:22:37 Speaker 3: Yes, and also to be reminded that reading is a skill you should. 01:22:41 Speaker 2: Brush that us. I mean, this podcast, so let's just say it right now, is very pro reading. Let's all read a book. It's not that hard and is frequently enjoyable. Yes. Absolutely, Maybe your fifty year old brother could use a book. There's the other thing is by his love get him something big by I'm a jet ski. He hasn't seen you in over a year and suddenly you're showing up with a big tag. Yeah, I do stunt on him? Yeah, what does he do. At that point, he's he's cornered. He's gotta be on your side in some way and say this jet Ski is yours. If you vote blue, there you go. Oh, just make it a kind of a moral challenge on his birthday. Absolutely, everybody loves a little bit of a mind game on their birthday. Everybody. Absolutely. And this is the podcast podcast for mind Games, Mind Show and Betrayal. And occasionally we talk about gifts. That's fine, Yeah, Jessica. I think we've answered these questions. We've answered so many more. We've brought up so many questions for each other. It's been wonderful having you here. I'm so excited to take my sweets home and just have a weak fall of Costco related cookies and chocolates. Yes, I want you to think about Costco every single day. Well, here's the thing, jess I already do. One day i'll be a member and I will be so powerful. But that's the end of the show. And thank you for being here. 01:24:11 Speaker 3: It's been agonizing, it's been horrible, but I'm glad to have done it. 01:24:15 Speaker 2: God bless I've got to stop saying God blessed it. We're gonna have to edit that out. People are going to start thinking I'm a religious fanatic. 01:24:22 Speaker 3: But listeners, Bridger is worrying no less than ten rosaries on his neck. 01:24:28 Speaker 2: I've got a pope had on a little red pope shoes which looks fantastic on it. By the way, thank you, they're very slimming. I need to figure out a different sign off. Goodbye, thank you, And that's the end of the podcast. I said no gifts isn't exactly right production. It's engineered by Earth Angel Stephen Ray Morris. The theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. You can follow the show on Instagram and Twitter. At I said no gifts, and if you have a question or need help getting a gift for someone in your life, email me at I said no gifts at gmail dot com. Listen and subscribe on Apple podcast, Stitcher or wherever you found me, and why not leave a review while you're at it? 01:25:13 Speaker 1: Well, I invited you, hear Gonta made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests. Your presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me,