WEBVTT - She Is Not Who She Appears To Be - 8.19.26

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<v Speaker 1>It is time now for my Strawberry Letter. If you

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<v Speaker 1>need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, please

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<v Speaker 1>on the air, just like we're going to read this

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<v Speaker 1>one right here, right now, and you never know, it

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<v Speaker 1>could be yours.

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<v Speaker 2>It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on type.

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<v Speaker 2>We got it for you here it is Strawberry.

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<v Speaker 3>Let us all right, nephew, thank you. Subject.

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<v Speaker 1>She is not who she appears to be. Dear Stephen Shirley,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm forty four and I'm engaged to a forty six

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<v Speaker 1>year old black female. The moment I saw her, I

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<v Speaker 1>said she was going to be my wife. She played

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<v Speaker 1>hard to get and that made me want her more

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<v Speaker 1>so I waited months.

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<v Speaker 3>To go out with her, and almost a year before

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<v Speaker 3>we had sex. To be honest, I was.

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<v Speaker 1>So crazy about this woman that she could have had

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<v Speaker 1>three teeth and I would have bought her all new

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<v Speaker 1>ones just to be with her. But there are some

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<v Speaker 1>things that I can't overlook. We moved in together a

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<v Speaker 1>month ago after we dated for two years. I moved

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<v Speaker 1>into her house because I was living in my brother's

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<v Speaker 1>rental property. The first week, there was an envelope tape

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<v Speaker 1>to the front door. I placed it on the kitchen island,

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<v Speaker 1>and when she got home, she tore the envelope up

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<v Speaker 1>without opening it. Maybe I should have asked her about

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<v Speaker 1>the envelope that day, because two weeks later, another one

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<v Speaker 1>was taped to the front door. It was official looking,

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<v Speaker 1>so I opened the envelope and placed the letter on

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<v Speaker 1>the kitchen counter. It was a foreclosure notice. She was

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<v Speaker 1>very upset that I opened her mail, but she said,

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<v Speaker 1>since I know what's up now, how are we going to.

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<v Speaker 3>Handle the foreclosure?

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<v Speaker 1>I said we I told her that I just moved in,

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<v Speaker 1>so how is this a wee problem? We had our

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<v Speaker 1>first argument, and to stop the fighting, I said we

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<v Speaker 1>could work something out. I have no intention of forking

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<v Speaker 1>over thirteen thousand dollars to this woman. We are engaged,

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<v Speaker 1>so she should have told me about her house and

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<v Speaker 1>her other financial problems. I just found out that her

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<v Speaker 1>car is two payments behind and she has credit card debt.

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<v Speaker 1>She is not who she appears to be. How can

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<v Speaker 1>a woman this fine and sweet be so careless? I

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<v Speaker 1>really love this woman. Should I marry her and take

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<v Speaker 1>on her outstanding debt? Wow, that's your question? Okay, sorry,

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<v Speaker 1>I gotta tell you this. You don't sound like much

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<v Speaker 1>of a man to me at all. Are you really

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<v Speaker 1>going to let this woman that you claim you love

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<v Speaker 1>so much that you would marry her if she only

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<v Speaker 1>had three teeth in her mouth? Are you going to

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<v Speaker 1>let her lose her house? So what if you just

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<v Speaker 1>moved in? I bet you are enjoying this home, because

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<v Speaker 1>remember you lived in your brother's rental property before you

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<v Speaker 1>moved in. And she's right, it is a wee problem

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<v Speaker 1>now because why didn't you ask her about these things

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<v Speaker 1>before you moved into the house? Assumed and don't you

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<v Speaker 1>know that everyone is not an open book. You assumed

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<v Speaker 1>that everything was cool with her once you're proposed. These

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<v Speaker 1>are the type of things you guys should be talking about.

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<v Speaker 1>You should be talking about money and financing and kids

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<v Speaker 1>and schools and sex and social media, all of these things. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>she should have told you. Yes, she is that fault

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<v Speaker 1>for not telling you that, but it was your responsibility

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<v Speaker 1>to get to know her. It's been two years.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm sure the.

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<v Speaker 1>Foreclosure would have come up at some point during those

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<v Speaker 1>two years. I just don't think how you think that

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<v Speaker 1>you have no obligation to help her. I mean, she's

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<v Speaker 1>your fiance now, she doesn't handle money. Well, okay, we

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<v Speaker 1>get that, but you guys are engaged, which makes you

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<v Speaker 1>a team.

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<v Speaker 3>You guys got to work together.

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<v Speaker 1>Now you can both sit down have an honest talk

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<v Speaker 1>about your finances. If you don't feel you can do that,

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<v Speaker 1>or if this is too much for you and you

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<v Speaker 1>don't think you can handle it, let her know before

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<v Speaker 1>the wedding, because the way things are going now, you

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<v Speaker 1>guys won't be married if you decide to take that step.

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<v Speaker 4>Steve, Oh, she is not who she appears to be.

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<v Speaker 4>You're engaged to a forty six year old lady. The

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<v Speaker 4>moment you saw you said she was gonna be her wife,

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<v Speaker 4>and she played hard to get. It was months before

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<v Speaker 4>you went out with in, a year before y'all had sex,

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<v Speaker 4>And to be honest, it's what you say now. I

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<v Speaker 4>was so crazy about this woman. She could have had

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<v Speaker 4>three teeth and I would have bought her all new

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<v Speaker 4>just to be But you know you say now, he says,

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<v Speaker 4>in his own words, there's some things he can't overlook.

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<v Speaker 4>All y'all moved in together a month ago, after y'all.

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<v Speaker 2>Dated for two years.

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<v Speaker 4>You moved into a house because you was living in

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<v Speaker 4>your brother's rental. The first week, that was an envelope

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<v Speaker 4>taped to the front door. You put it on the

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<v Speaker 4>kitchen island. She got home, she told the envelope up

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<v Speaker 4>without opening it. Maybe I should have asked her about

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<v Speaker 4>the envelope that day, because two weeks later, another one.

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<v Speaker 2>Was taped to the front door.

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<v Speaker 4>It was a fish you're looking, So I opened up

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<v Speaker 4>the envelope and placed the letter on the kitchen counter.

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<v Speaker 4>It was a foreclothesre You noticed. She's very upset that

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<v Speaker 4>I opened her mail. But now she said, since I

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<v Speaker 4>know what's up, how are we going to handle the foreclosure?

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<v Speaker 4>I said, we now, let's stop right here. You're engaged

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<v Speaker 4>to this woman. You moved into her house and you

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<v Speaker 4>left the rental property. You was user at your brothers.

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<v Speaker 4>You moved into her house. You've asked her to marry you.

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<v Speaker 4>She accepted. You said she's so fine you to marry that.

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<v Speaker 4>She had three teeth. You'd have bought us some new ones.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't know how much you think teeth costs, but

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<v Speaker 4>we up around at thirteen thousand dollars MAF somewhere like that.

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<v Speaker 4>I know you get you get a head full of

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<v Speaker 4>my faith. And so she said, how we gonna handle this?

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<v Speaker 4>I said we, I told it, I just moved in.

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<v Speaker 4>So how is it a WE situation? Well, let me just.

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<v Speaker 2>Tell y'all something.

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<v Speaker 4>Y'all two don't need to be married, because I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 4>just tell you right now, when you get.

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<v Speaker 2>Married, everything is a WE situation everything.

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<v Speaker 4>So if you don't want a WE situation, then you

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<v Speaker 4>you shouldn't get married. I don't you never said if

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<v Speaker 4>you all had been married before y'all forty four and

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<v Speaker 4>forty six. I don't know if y'll have ever been

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<v Speaker 4>married before. But if you get married, everything becomes a

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<v Speaker 4>WE situation now, bru. It's just real simple. If you

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<v Speaker 4>don't want no WE situation, don't get married.

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<v Speaker 3>I'll be done, all right, Thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll have part two of your response coming up to

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<v Speaker 1>Steve at twenty three minutes after the hour today's Strawberry

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<v Speaker 1>letter subject she is not who she appears to be.

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<v Speaker 1>We'll get back into it right after this. Globe Life

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<v Speaker 1>hundred or globelifradio dot com. All right, come on, Steve,

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<v Speaker 1>let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject is she is

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<v Speaker 1>not who she appears to be.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, you met this fine woman. She's forty six, you

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<v Speaker 4>forty four. She was so fine man, but she was

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<v Speaker 4>playing hard to get. So y'all dated for y'all talked

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<v Speaker 4>for months before you even took it out, almost a

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<v Speaker 4>year before you had sex. But you say, this woman

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<v Speaker 4>so fine. You just she if she had three teeth

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<v Speaker 4>in her head, you'd have bought some newt just to

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<v Speaker 4>be with her. That's how you say. And so then

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<v Speaker 4>a few a year later you moved in with her

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<v Speaker 4>from your brother's rental property.

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<v Speaker 2>You moved in and so.

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<v Speaker 4>Y'all had been living in the house for over a month,

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<v Speaker 4>and you came home one day and an envelope was

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<v Speaker 4>on the door, So you took the envelope put it

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<v Speaker 4>on the counter. She came home, picked the envelope up,

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<v Speaker 4>and tore it up without looking at it. You said,

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<v Speaker 4>then you should have asked her what it was. Two

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<v Speaker 4>weeks later, another envelope on the door. It looked official.

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<v Speaker 4>This time you opened it. It was a foreclosure, so

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<v Speaker 4>you set it on the counter. She came home. She

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<v Speaker 4>got mad because you opened up her mail. And then

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<v Speaker 4>she said, well, now that you know what's up, how

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<v Speaker 4>we gonna handle this foreclosing? I said we? I told

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<v Speaker 4>her I just moved in. So how is this a

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<v Speaker 4>we situation? Well, you asked her to marry you, and

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<v Speaker 4>when you get married. I'm just gonna tell you everything

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<v Speaker 4>is a wee situation when you get married. Now, she

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<v Speaker 4>didn't tell you that. I think that's a conversation y'all

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<v Speaker 4>should have had. But y'all jumped to the guns. It

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<v Speaker 4>felt good, looked good, is good? All this here you rubbing, sliding, spooning,

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<v Speaker 4>and all this is taking shots together, eating, making me,

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<v Speaker 4>watching movies and everything. Well, now you find out that

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<v Speaker 4>the place that you're doing all this in they finish,

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<v Speaker 4>come take you.

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<v Speaker 2>Now.

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<v Speaker 4>She don't know how to handle this problem either. Obviously

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<v Speaker 4>she's not good with money for some reason. And she said,

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<v Speaker 4>how are we gonna handle it? Now you're talking about

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<v Speaker 4>how we gonna handle it? And now that started an argument.

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<v Speaker 4>And to stop the fighting, and listened to this part.

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<v Speaker 4>To stop the fighting, I said, we could work something out.

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<v Speaker 4>I have no intention of porking over thirteen K.

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<v Speaker 2>To this woman. Okay, Brud, then were done?

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<v Speaker 4>Then were done? If that's your decision. If you have

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<v Speaker 4>no intention of parking over thirteen K to this woman,

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<v Speaker 4>then we're done. Then you said, so we are engaged.

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<v Speaker 4>So she should have told me about her house and

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<v Speaker 4>her other financial problems. I just found out that the

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<v Speaker 4>car is too many payments behind, and she has credit

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<v Speaker 4>card debt.

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<v Speaker 2>She is not who she appears to be. Who did

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<v Speaker 2>you think she was?

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<v Speaker 4>You thought cause she was fine, she had everything else together.

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<v Speaker 4>It's something wrong with everybody credit card that a lot

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<v Speaker 4>of people got credit card debt. You ain't got none.

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<v Speaker 4>No how you caught it? Four years old, living in

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<v Speaker 4>your brother's runner property. What's going on with you? Something

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<v Speaker 4>going on with you? You may not be all you

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<v Speaker 4>have presented either. Now, how can a woman this fine

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<v Speaker 4>is sweet be so careless?

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<v Speaker 2>I really love this woman?

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<v Speaker 4>Should I marry her and take on her outstanding debt? Well, brother,

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<v Speaker 4>listen to me. I'm just gonna put this one back

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<v Speaker 4>on you. Should you marry this woman and take on

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<v Speaker 4>her outstanding debt? It's thirteen thousand dollars for the house,

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<v Speaker 4>it's some credit card debt, and it's the cards to

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<v Speaker 4>payments behind. Now, you just said something in this letter

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<v Speaker 4>that you waited to the end to say. How can

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<v Speaker 4>a woman this fine and sweet be so careless? It's

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<v Speaker 4>a lot of fine, sweet people that don't know how

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<v Speaker 4>to manage money. It's a lot of fine and sweet

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<v Speaker 4>people that get a little careless with other things. But

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<v Speaker 4>obviously she's been good to you, and she's been good

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<v Speaker 4>for you. Now you found out that there's a couple

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<v Speaker 4>of things wrong. Now you want a bounce, that's your choice. Bro,

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<v Speaker 4>you get to leave now. If you're not the man

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<v Speaker 4>for this job, then don't take the child. That's all

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<v Speaker 4>because according to you, this thirteen thousand there's two months

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<v Speaker 4>back on this payment in credit card that this seems

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<v Speaker 4>to be monumental to you. So maybe you're not the

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<v Speaker 4>man for the child, then just let it go. But

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<v Speaker 4>I want to tell you this, though, you're gonna have

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<v Speaker 4>to find somebody else just as fine and just as

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<v Speaker 4>sweet that's got it all together. So what you're looking

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<v Speaker 4>for is a person who perfect man, I'm gonna tell

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<v Speaker 4>you right now, ain't nothing. Ain't no perfect man, ain't

0:12:04.800 --> 0:12:08.040
<v Speaker 4>no perfect woman. So now, if she's really a good

0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:11.240
<v Speaker 4>girl and she needs some help, maybe y'all can put

0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:13.640
<v Speaker 4>y'all two things together. Because guess what, brother, you ain't

0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:16.480
<v Speaker 4>got no rent no more because you're living in her house,

0:12:17.080 --> 0:12:19.720
<v Speaker 4>so you ain't paid no rent. Why don't you take

0:12:19.720 --> 0:12:23.000
<v Speaker 4>that rent money and y'all, y'all first of all, get

0:12:23.040 --> 0:12:25.839
<v Speaker 4>this foreclosure. Y'all get some money so y'all can keep

0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:28.280
<v Speaker 4>living in this house because you because you're doing all

0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:29.600
<v Speaker 4>the little stuff with her in the.

0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:38.240
<v Speaker 5>House now, taking shower together, sliding up on the club, spooning, spooning, fucking,

0:12:39.360 --> 0:12:44.920
<v Speaker 5>doing a little knifing, doing some cutlery, you know, spash

0:12:45.040 --> 0:12:52.440
<v Speaker 5>for spanking, win of and mint oodie popping.

0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:57.560
<v Speaker 2>You're doing all that. Yeah, you know you that come

0:12:57.640 --> 0:12:58.520
<v Speaker 2>with the price off.

0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:04.160
<v Speaker 4>It ain't gonna be free, so bruh, I mean me

0:13:04.320 --> 0:13:08.400
<v Speaker 4>if I was you. You know, sometimes, man, you gotta

0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:10.280
<v Speaker 4>be willing to climb down in a fox hole with

0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:12.040
<v Speaker 4>a person to fight your way out and see what

0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:14.680
<v Speaker 4>y'all got. Y'all might have something good, but if you

0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:17.560
<v Speaker 4>want everything to be perfect, you're not gonna have a me. Personally,

0:13:17.920 --> 0:13:20.400
<v Speaker 4>I would climb down in that foxhole and start fighting

0:13:20.400 --> 0:13:22.880
<v Speaker 4>with that girl. That's really sweet and a kind person.

0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:25.160
<v Speaker 4>Probably work through it. That's what I would do. But

0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:27.920
<v Speaker 4>don't sound like you're up for the job. So gone

0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:30.280
<v Speaker 4>quit well like you do everything else, and go find

0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:31.679
<v Speaker 4>somebody else that they ain't gonna won't you?

0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:32.040
<v Speaker 2>Go ahead?

0:13:32.080 --> 0:13:33.360
<v Speaker 3>All right, Steve, thank you.

0:13:33.480 --> 0:13:36.080
<v Speaker 1>Leave your comments on today's Strawberry Letter on the Instagram

0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:38.480
<v Speaker 1>at Steve barb Fm, and check out the Strawberry Letter

0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:42.320
<v Speaker 1>podcast on the free iHeartRadio app. Coming up next, it

0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:46.280
<v Speaker 1>is Junior and Sports Talk. Right after this Junior, you're

0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:48.559
<v Speaker 1>listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.