Speaker 1: Welcome to this upisode of Emergency Intercom. Drew has been
Speaker 1: in the bathroom for thirty minutes, so I'm just starting
Speaker 1: without him because I'm annoyed and I want to get
Speaker 1: this over with. Like it's a job. Just because it's
Speaker 1: fun doesn't mean it's not a job. Like That's actually
Speaker 1: what people don't realize is everybody thinks, oh, my life
Speaker 1: is so easy, But this is a job, guys, and
Speaker 1: I treat it as such. I treat it Drew. Drew,
Speaker 1: come in. I haven't seen him for like two days. Really, yeah,
Speaker 1: he's just been locked in his room. Why are you?
Speaker 2: Sounds weird? What the fuck? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: What happened?
Speaker 3: Drew?
Speaker 1: Open your eyes? Did you get a facelift? What is
Speaker 1: wrong with you? What's all the bandages? You're oh?
Speaker 2: Oh oh oh, you're into stuff?
Speaker 1: What's wrong with you? Drew?
Speaker 3: I got the neuralink?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? Is that you? Are you the one
Speaker 1: who got the fucking neuralink?
Speaker 3: I'm patient zero?
Speaker 1: And then why did they let you out? I saw that?
Speaker 1: Did you see somebody got into the Why?
Speaker 3: Wait?
Speaker 1: Did they just put the Tesla chip in a person?
Speaker 1: I don't think that the.
Speaker 3: Musk by Tesla Stock.
Speaker 1: Are you okay? I don't think you're healing right. I
Speaker 1: don't know why they would let you out if you Hello,
Speaker 1: why are you staring? You're like the neuralink gets you right,
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. I don't think the neural link
Speaker 1: is working.
Speaker 2: If you're like, I can see the old behind his eyes,
Speaker 2: but I can tell that it's.
Speaker 1: Locked in there. He might still be him. What's wrong?
Speaker 1: You're like convulsing? Is it like fucking with Like your
Speaker 1: legs are still twisted the way they usually are. So
Speaker 1: you're in there somewhere.
Speaker 2: Hello, are you okay?
Speaker 3: Okay, good, I'm good.
Speaker 1: Did you just restart?
Speaker 3: I have like a calculator in my brain. I'm doing math.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm like, I'm doing the math of those
Speaker 3: flowers over there, something that you have math, flowers, sacred geometry,
Speaker 3: golden ratio, ship like that.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: I actually can drive my car with my brain. Now.
Speaker 3: That's really all there is to it.
Speaker 1: That's all it does. Why would somebody get it? Ky?
Speaker 1: Why can't you look at him in the face.
Speaker 2: It's not him, Like, I don't know to explain it.
Speaker 2: It's just not him anymore.
Speaker 1: You can't breathe in that or something like it's like
Speaker 1: cutting off your circulations.
Speaker 3: Like I'm like crying, Like they took my brain. They
Speaker 3: took my frontal lobe.
Speaker 2: Can you review it? Like, I'm yeah, it's probably interesting.
Speaker 3: So the surgery was really weird. They had like a
Speaker 3: capuchin monkey next to me that like they took it
Speaker 3: out of that monkey's brain.
Speaker 1: Wait, so you got a you neurally?
Speaker 3: Well yeah, they were like, oh, we can give you
Speaker 3: a used one because like we already like no, it
Speaker 3: works and whatnot. And so they put me down. I
Speaker 3: wasn't even asleep. I was wide awake, and they like
Speaker 3: they legally couldn't put me under anesthesia or some shit,
Speaker 3: and they thought I couldn't feel anything because I lied
Speaker 3: and I told them I was like paraplegic because that's
Speaker 3: the only way I was able to get it wheeled
Speaker 3: in there in a wheelchair? Did all that whole shit
Speaker 3: active blind?
Speaker 1: Oh? Could they not test you for that? I feel
Speaker 1: like they probably would have known. Did they just take
Speaker 1: your words?
Speaker 3: I just have like a really high pain tolerance, I guess,
Speaker 3: So that's not what Okay. I'm just like really strong,
Speaker 3: Like I'm like stronger than the average men, and especially
Speaker 3: with this Tesla Tesla.
Speaker 1: Fuck, it kind of just seems I can give you
Speaker 1: like a.
Speaker 3: Minor elon fucking musk musk fuck. You're like, yeah, so
Speaker 3: they laid me down on that table, put it in
Speaker 3: know they on musk fucked it into me.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's like a colon as you.
Speaker 3: Know that picture where it's like massage her brain with
Speaker 3: books or whatever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what.
Speaker 3: Lincoln there exactly.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's promising.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it's like, so far it's been like Tesla
Speaker 3: like really like actually good.
Speaker 1: I mean you seem I mean, you're not the fastest
Speaker 1: on your feet ever, don't seem faster.
Speaker 3: Well, I can drive my car without using my hands.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's necessarily worth it because you
Speaker 1: kind of can't walk anymore.
Speaker 3: They won't let me use my fucking iPhone either, oh.
Speaker 1: Because they're starting their own phones.
Speaker 3: Well I just can't look at bright lights, blue light.
Speaker 3: But yeah, so that was my story. I'm the first
Speaker 3: person to get the near link installed. My hands work.
Speaker 3: For all the haters saying that like my hands and
Speaker 3: legs wouldn't work after like I would die, Like I'm fine,
Speaker 3: I just have like a couple of fucking ticks, and
Speaker 3: now I'm better than.
Speaker 1: You, better than because I don't know if you would
Speaker 1: ever pass a d u y ever.
Speaker 3: Again, I have to keep the bandage on for four months, though.
Speaker 1: Four months you're gonna like rot through it.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm done talking about this because y'all are just
Speaker 3: like bullying me. Then they warned me. They said there
Speaker 3: will be a lot of haters. That's what the doctor said.
Speaker 3: I got the mark of the beast. I got the
Speaker 3: market of the.
Speaker 1: They were like, okay, make sure you wash around your
Speaker 1: like incisions.
Speaker 3: No other shower for like three months.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, So they were like, make sure you don't
Speaker 1: get wet. And also there will be a lot of haters.
Speaker 3: Ops, they used the word ups. The doctor said up
Speaker 3: to Oppenheimer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess that's doctor lingo.
Speaker 2: But yeah, do you feel like it's changed your personality
Speaker 2: at all?
Speaker 3: Like, no, okay, shut.
Speaker 2: The fuck up.
Speaker 1: Okay, he's still here, he's still here.
Speaker 3: You too, fuck you? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: You do you want to be saying that or are
Speaker 1: they like programming you to say that?
Speaker 2: Wait? Should we do some tests on him?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Elon Musk has a giant penis. All right, giant penis
Speaker 3: elon Musk.
Speaker 2: How do you, Drew, how do you feel about the libs?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 3: Lib cards.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems like it has it's workers side effects.
Speaker 3: We need to kill all liberals. Oh, demon crats, demon crats.
Speaker 1: Well, that's kind of blurring the lines of things Drew
Speaker 1: would just say normally.
Speaker 3: So it's kind of hard to it's just troll shit,
Speaker 3: Like I'm on my troll shit, Like I just tweeted
Speaker 3: fourteen tweets from my brain, like directly to twitter eggs,
Speaker 3: Like do any.
Speaker 1: Of that shit with neurallink? Like what is it actually for?
Speaker 1: Is it for medical purposes or is it actually because
Speaker 1: I saw this thing that they were doing for addicts
Speaker 1: that they can go when you could get a brain
Speaker 1: surgery or something gets inserted into your brain to try
Speaker 1: and stop you from being an addict. So they're trying
Speaker 1: to like solve addiction via surgery. And there was this
Speaker 1: video that was like really emotional, and I was like, Wow,
Speaker 1: this would be insane, this will save lives. I would
Speaker 1: I would like to watch this video. So I watched
Speaker 1: the video. Two of the people relapsed. Not soon after
Speaker 1: one of them dropped out and didn't want to be
Speaker 1: have his data taken anymore because he was on the
Speaker 1: verge of relapsing and only one guy's been like.
Speaker 3: Success rate.
Speaker 1: Yes's true, but also like I think, I guess maybe
Speaker 1: that's what addicts need is a camera on them twenty
Speaker 1: four to seven to guilt and shame.
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, So we'll get that.
Speaker 1: For you with that app you have, like your problem
Speaker 1: with them, Maybe not anymore.
Speaker 3: I'm not gon allowed to use my phone.
Speaker 1: Oh is that what you got it? So you could
Speaker 1: stop using grinder for twelve hours a day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was true, Spinal, But yeah, I got the
Speaker 3: near link installed because I was addicted to Grinder.
Speaker 1: Well, I just want us to play the video of
Speaker 1: Drew dead, asleep on the floor, drunk as fuck one
Speaker 1: more time for podcast sake.
Speaker 2: Maybe we could drive him to the hospital.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not going to the hospital.
Speaker 2: We could just drive to the hospital. It wouldn't cost
Speaker 2: four thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: The thing is, Mason last night was literally throwing up
Speaker 1: like four times in a row. We did take him
Speaker 1: to the hospital, So I'm like, why do we have
Speaker 1: to take Drew to the hospital.
Speaker 2: Look at him, He's way worse than Mason. This is
Speaker 2: like Project Decks.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know what if it's like, because I was
Speaker 1: watching it again and it is insane that I was
Speaker 1: so drunken, in a different state of mind that I
Speaker 1: looked at this dead person on the floor. I say,
Speaker 1: we didn't need to say this. Also, he's fine, Like
Speaker 1: it actually freaks me out the way you look.
Speaker 3: At your behavior, And that was crazy. It was the
Speaker 3: last time I felt any love from Nya from that
Speaker 3: moment on. She just hasn't loved me the same.
Speaker 1: Something switched, something switched I.
Speaker 3: Saw, which I flipped inside him.
Speaker 1: I saw a side of you that was just so
Speaker 1: repulsive that night, but you deserve I.
Speaker 3: Was saying the other day that I want to do
Speaker 3: that again, Like I really need to get to that
Speaker 3: state again. It's been since that day that I've ever
Speaker 3: gotten even close to being that drunk before, and I
Speaker 3: think it's time to like relive it. But like my luck,
Speaker 3: I would accidentally fucking die, like I would accidentally like, oh, Diana,
Speaker 3: I'll get too fucked up.
Speaker 2: If you want, Jay bro, I'll smoke you out, Tesla.
Speaker 2: We could do Edward forty hands, but just does I.
Speaker 3: Have a forty tattoo?
Speaker 1: Yeah? He does. On his thought.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I gave it to myself when I was sixteen.
Speaker 3: Are you serious?
Speaker 2: Yeah? How have I never noticed that during our session?
Speaker 1: I know That's what I'm saying, because you guys keep
Speaker 1: the lights on because you're both so scared of yourselves
Speaker 1: security and try to see my body and doesn't want
Speaker 1: me to see his body.
Speaker 2: We both have the apple headsets on.
Speaker 1: Yeah, real, dude, somebody is fully get a bone with
Speaker 1: that ship on it. It's going to be It's.
Speaker 3: Gonna be fucking me.
Speaker 1: Wait, that apple headset is going to be fucking you
Speaker 1: or you're gonna They should have added a flashlight extension
Speaker 1: to it that you can plug USB C into it
Speaker 1: and it will pulsate with the video.
Speaker 3: No, No, that already a thing.
Speaker 2: I talked to somebody recently who had an addiction to it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you were telling me about that. Yeah, it
Speaker 2: was like this guy that I know that was like
Speaker 2: I hit rock bottom recently because I caught myself like
Speaker 2: fishing the dick Sucker machine and VR headset out of
Speaker 2: a dumpster, like like he.
Speaker 1: Threw it away and then went out.
Speaker 2: For it because he was like the post nut depression
Speaker 2: hits so different when right after you lean back and
Speaker 2: you're in like a player one, you like pull it
Speaker 2: off and you're like covered and calm, And he was
Speaker 2: just like, like, I noted, I asked it. Basically I
Speaker 2: was around him and I asked him like why he
Speaker 2: had a Nokia phone and he was like, oh, like
Speaker 2: I hit rock Bottom recently. He told me this whole story,
Speaker 2: But he was basically like I got rid of like
Speaker 2: my computer, my iPhone, all this stuff because I like
Speaker 2: entered like this very dystopian period of my life. Like
Speaker 2: there's porn that like syncs up like the dick Sucker
Speaker 2: machine sinks up with the video and it uses AI.
Speaker 3: What's it called? What's it called? What's the machine?
Speaker 1: Actually, don't I don't have an affiliate link this episode
Speaker 1: for Machine Surprise. It's crazy. Men's rock Bottom is switching
Speaker 1: from the Apple universe to Nokia universe so you can
Speaker 1: have the perfect masturbation ploy, and Women's rock Bottom is
Speaker 1: writing every day in your journal with the strange delusion
Speaker 1: that one day will be published after you die, and
Speaker 1: you think you're making the next bell Jar. I can
Speaker 1: that's the two rock Bottoms of the gender.
Speaker 3: I can fix them. I can fix them. No, bit.
Speaker 3: You're just you're probably more crazy than him.
Speaker 2: I think that the neural and cuts some effect on
Speaker 2: his time.
Speaker 1: Wow, sorry, guys, it's near only custa buffer you come back.
Speaker 3: I can't feel my fucking legs, but it's okay.
Speaker 1: What effects of the neural is when you get super embarrassed,
Speaker 1: your legs give out so that you can distract to
Speaker 1: something else.
Speaker 3: Girls rock Bottom, Oh my god, girl's rock bottom is
Speaker 3: switching from Diva Cup to Taan PACs.
Speaker 2: Nice. Hell, yeah, that was good. I'm like, I haven't
Speaker 2: been hitting so long. That is true, it's been a minute.
Speaker 3: Okay. So I was on tick that hurt my hands
Speaker 3: so bad.
Speaker 2: Also, remember that era where people like actually thought I
Speaker 2: was getting abused by my podcast.
Speaker 1: People were like, I don't know, it just feels weird.
Speaker 1: It's happened so often.
Speaker 2: And then there were comments like, but he likes it.
Speaker 2: He says he likes it.
Speaker 1: Guys, we don't know the full side of the story
Speaker 1: until he says something.
Speaker 2: It's nuanced.
Speaker 3: It's there's like they yeah, it it's different. Okay. So
Speaker 3: I was on TikTok and I saw this slideshow. Oh
Speaker 3: my fucking god, and this girl posted saying a few
Speaker 3: days ago and HBO intern accidentally sent a mass blank
Speaker 3: email with a subject line integration test email number one
Speaker 3: two thousands of subscribers. Not that big of a deal,
Speaker 3: HBO tweeted out, saying, we mistakenly sent out an empty
Speaker 3: test email to a portion of our HBO Max mailing
Speaker 3: list this evening. We apologize for the inconvenience, and as
Speaker 3: the jokes roll in, yes it was an in turn.
Speaker 3: No really, and we're helping them through it. Heard, and
Speaker 3: then people started responding with like horror stories that they
Speaker 3: had when they were interns, and like they were just
Speaker 3: killing me today. So I wanted to read a few
Speaker 3: to y'all because they're super funny. This person's response is,
Speaker 3: dear intern. When I was twenty five, I made a
Speaker 3: PDF assigning each employee to the muppet. They reminded me
Speaker 3: of the most. I meant to send it to my
Speaker 3: work friend, but I accidentally sent it to the entire company.
Speaker 3: My supervisor, Beaker, wanted to fire me, but the owner's
Speaker 3: Burton Ernie intervened.
Speaker 1: Also, what's fucked up? As Beaker is such a disc
Speaker 1: but one of us when we were watching the Muppets,
Speaker 1: drew was like, I'm Beaker.
Speaker 3: I'm Beaker.
Speaker 1: Like I'll be Beaker, and we were all like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you can be beaker. Bro Like, nobody wants to.
Speaker 3: Be fucking beakerker.
Speaker 1: Beaker doesn't speak at all.
Speaker 3: That's so me coded. I go back for Carrolink. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I'll let you read the next one.
Speaker 1: Dear intern, I was using my desktop. Oh why'd you
Speaker 1: give me this one?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Wow, Okay, dear intern, I was using my desktop calendar
Speaker 1: to make a monthly note of when I started my
Speaker 1: menstrual period. Menstrual period, you didn't have to say period
Speaker 1: period when I started my mention stroll cycle. But after
Speaker 1: several months, I realized I was making that note on
Speaker 1: a calendar I shared with all of my colleagues company wide.
Speaker 1: I was thirty seven years old.
Speaker 3: Mortifying, horrifying. This one is dear interur Oh, I don't
Speaker 3: like this one. This one's my favorite one. Hashtag dear
Speaker 3: intern me to the CEO of a large company. His
Speaker 3: name is Alan. I was thirty four. Then it's a
Speaker 3: screenshot of an email from the guy and he says,
Speaker 3: good morning, Anal. I'll let you read the last.
Speaker 1: One, Dear intern. One time I sent an email on behalf?
Speaker 1: Why are you flipping the camera off? I set on
Speaker 1: an email on behalf of the organization's board of directors
Speaker 1: with a link to a custom thank you video that
Speaker 1: was meant to show appreciation. The link redirected to a
Speaker 1: lady in her pajama's a loudly reviewing hot Cheetos recipe fails.
Speaker 1: I cried twice that day and that's all of them.
Speaker 2: Oh, this one's crazy. I was an intern out of
Speaker 2: a podcast, and about a year into the podcast, I
Speaker 2: realized that I had broken into their house a year
Speaker 2: prior and shaved my pubes in their house. And now
Speaker 2: it's weird because I work at the same podcast that
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: Okay, you already stopped, and what you don't have?
Speaker 3: You fucking hurt me? Kai, your fucking face hurt me.
Speaker 3: Now my hand hurts.
Speaker 2: It's crazy.
Speaker 3: Wow, it's tingling, it's tingling. Okay. Well, yeah, that was
Speaker 3: boring as fuck. Sorry, y'all, Jesus Christ, I'm fucking boring.
Speaker 3: I'm so fucking boring.
Speaker 1: Well, I decided Drew had his beard, Like why did
Speaker 1: we let Drew have that scary ass fucking beard for
Speaker 1: so long?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: No, I know, Yeah, when I see videos of you
Speaker 1: with your scary beard, it actually is so fucking jarring,
Speaker 1: and it sometimes disrupts when I'm watching like an edit
Speaker 1: of something, and it's like a cute edit of like
Speaker 1: us talking about being friends forever, and then I see
Speaker 1: a clip of that, I'm like, oh, whoa, Yeah, there
Speaker 1: is so much content of you with that nasty beard.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just more of like a man thing, like
Speaker 3: people with vaginas just wouldn't get it, And it's more
Speaker 3: of like like every winter I grew out my beard
Speaker 3: to stay warm.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were. I feel like I feel like people
Speaker 2: with vaginas would get it. Personally.
Speaker 1: Are you insinuating that women grow out their bushes to
Speaker 1: insulate their bodies?
Speaker 3: You Kai, Why would you say I'm saying that? Why
Speaker 3: were you just saying that you want to have sex
Speaker 3: with your boss?
Speaker 1: I know it's so weird. Oh, dear dear intern. I
Speaker 1: got fired because I sexualized my boss. All my life
Speaker 1: sucks and I'm going to prison.
Speaker 2: What I was defending women, Drew said some misogynst and I'm.
Speaker 1: Going to small claims Core because she has a really
Speaker 1: decent case against me, because the audio is something I
Speaker 1: actually helped record.
Speaker 2: That's the last time I ever defended then.
Speaker 1: My am my lawyer was like, uh, well I can't
Speaker 1: help you and I quit because you recorded the evidence.
Speaker 3: So there's no way to like, is this true?
Speaker 2: No, it's not, it's all it's a bit. She's doing
Speaker 2: a bit.
Speaker 4: Fast forward two years from now, Kin Newman in prison,
Speaker 4: in prison, Okay, So we didn't talk about it, or
Speaker 4: we might have briefly talked about it.
Speaker 3: I don't Josiah being on what song was that song?
Speaker 3: What the hell? We don't talk anymore. No, Josiah being
Speaker 3: on Jason Nash was like a cultural cultural shift, which
Speaker 3: was amazing. Will insert the clip of the battle, like
Speaker 3: the end of the battle.
Speaker 1: Is that your music?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well, good job dude.
Speaker 3: Did you have a whole album you're making or just
Speaker 3: a single or what do you have to do?
Speaker 2: What?
Speaker 3: Yah?
Speaker 1: Now I'm passed off.
Speaker 3: I lost.
Speaker 1: Oh it's not as Yeah, I mean, you already won
Speaker 1: in life.
Speaker 3: You have a you have a which is so fucking funny.
Speaker 3: But I was scrolling on my feet today and I
Speaker 3: saw that Jason Nash got swatted, and for all the
Speaker 3: evil he's done, I don't think it was deserved.
Speaker 1: Getting swatted is just fucking insane. That's like terrifying.
Speaker 3: It made me so sad.
Speaker 1: I wish Josiah caught on to what I was trying
Speaker 1: to do, because if anybody watched it at the end,
Speaker 1: when Josiah's throwing his like fig you hear like the gunshots,
Speaker 1: but I was, this is actually such a jark dark
Speaker 1: joke and like, I'm sorry if it bothers anybody, but like.
Speaker 3: Booo, fucking liberal.
Speaker 2: Jumped down.
Speaker 1: But I was trying because he kept walking away from
Speaker 1: the camera, so I wanted to play the gunshot and
Speaker 1: like make Josiah fall to the ground so it sounded
Speaker 1: like he killed himself because he lost against Jason Nash
Speaker 1: on a live stream. And then I wanted to like, dude,
Speaker 1: I had a whole bit plan in my head, and
Speaker 1: I wish I had thought about it before and told
Speaker 1: him that this is what we could have done. But
Speaker 1: I genuinely thought Josiah was gonna win that fucking battle. Also,
Speaker 1: mind you, I spent one hundred and twenty dollars on
Speaker 1: that battle.
Speaker 3: And I tried to make some fucking money too, yeah,
Speaker 3: trying to make.
Speaker 1: Josie win, which I then had to go live and
Speaker 1: tell him to give me all my fucking money back
Speaker 1: so I could get my money back because he lost. Also,
Speaker 1: I was gonna do that anyway, because I'm not just
Speaker 1: gonna hand Josiah one hundred and fifty dollars. But I
Speaker 1: was like, give me my fucking money back. I really
Speaker 1: thought Josiah was gonna win, which actually freaks me out
Speaker 1: because that means that's off that live alone Jason Nash
Speaker 1: walked away with like over two hundred dollars, which freaks
Speaker 1: me out. But I wanted to make it seem like
Speaker 1: Josiah killed himself, and I was gonna play ambulance sounds,
Speaker 1: and Jordan does this really fucked up funny impersonation of
Speaker 1: like every time he's driving a kiss around and like
Speaker 1: somebody like we're at a stop sign and he'll go
Speaker 1: through it and he's like and like, I like.
Speaker 3: And it's gonna be okay your family's waiting room.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's just gonna get here soon. Because it's the
Speaker 1: same joke you did when we were at Ryan's gallery
Speaker 1: and I was in the bathroom for too long and
Speaker 1: you went up to the door. He was like, get out,
Speaker 1: there's a fire. There's a fire. Old lady. Oh my god, dude,
Speaker 1: is this gonna happen all the time now? Because I
Speaker 1: don't want to hang out with you.
Speaker 3: My ear is actually like really clogged right now.
Speaker 1: Well, no, your ear is not clogged. You just tied
Speaker 1: that bandage around your head, so fucking you're actually going
Speaker 1: to start like losing circulation.
Speaker 3: No, but it's county like. Am I giving like I'm
Speaker 3: giving like a Kanye's wife a little bit?
Speaker 1: No, you're giving like you just came back from a
Speaker 1: botch surgery in Turkey?
Speaker 3: No, it's giving like KUNTI like it's giving. Yeah, mmmm,
Speaker 3: it's giving like a handsmade taiale.
Speaker 1: I've never seen that, neither of I.
Speaker 2: Okay, hands made, I.
Speaker 1: Think it's handmaid in tale or is it handsmade?
Speaker 2: I think it's the handmade.
Speaker 1: Actually, we're all of you different universes right now, and
Speaker 1: we're classic at the same moment, right.
Speaker 3: I do believe that we shifted dimensions at one point.
Speaker 1: I think that every three days though.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I genuinely do. And I think y'all are
Speaker 3: like different versions of yourself because I've noticed little things
Speaker 3: that are different.
Speaker 1: Are they like bad things or no?
Speaker 3: It's just little minute details I pay attention to the
Speaker 3: little thing.
Speaker 1: Well, I decided that if like woman hates me, I
Speaker 1: really don't care, Like it doesn't bother me. But something
Speaker 1: about like a man hating me to the extent of
Speaker 1: talking shit about me, like that seems so odd to me.
Speaker 1: I don't have any examples, but something about that, like
Speaker 1: if a girl behind my back is talking shit about me,
Speaker 1: I'm like, go the fuck ahead. I actually give you
Speaker 1: the green light, like you deserve to. You deserve to
Speaker 1: talk shit about me, like for whatever reason. It is, Like,
Speaker 1: even if it's over something stupid, I don't care. But
Speaker 1: if a man got behind closed doors and was like
Speaker 1: calling me a bit and stuff, I hope you die.
Speaker 3: No, that's just like pussy behavior.
Speaker 1: A man be a man and say it to my
Speaker 1: face because I'm gonna call the police.
Speaker 3: Actually, oh oh no, but.
Speaker 1: We're gonna cut that.
Speaker 3: Why it wasn't me, It was the neuralink.
Speaker 1: I really wonder if that shit's gonna work. If it works,
Speaker 1: we're done.
Speaker 3: Like here, dude.
Speaker 2: When I saw that tweet, it was like one of
Speaker 2: those mum It's where I was like, oh, I'll think
Speaker 2: about this forever, Like this will be like the first
Speaker 2: sign of the end in a lot of ways, Like
Speaker 2: you know, the whole thing with Crisper. Yeah, Like Crisper
Speaker 2: is like genetically engineering fetuses and stuff. They're like they're
Speaker 2: they basically made the change to do gatica. And I'm like,
Speaker 2: at some point those kids that were genetically engineered that
Speaker 2: are supposedly like they don't exist right now because it's
Speaker 2: like illegal, They're gonna just show up, you know, like
Speaker 2: there was probably already genetically engineered.
Speaker 1: Also, what the fuck does that do to a child
Speaker 1: who's been born in a lab? Like they genuinely don't
Speaker 1: have parents.
Speaker 3: I think it's like it's born, it's born inside of
Speaker 3: a surrogate mother. Yeah, but you can choose like the
Speaker 3: eye color or the hair color or the hair texture,
Speaker 3: and you can just mod it to change their heights.
Speaker 1: And parents and stuff. Who even give a fuck about that?
Speaker 1: Like what are you gonna do? Sell the baby on TIMU?
Speaker 1: Like why are you trying to like breed the perfect baby?
Speaker 1: It's so weird.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know if anybody's like doing it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like the fact that that's people were like, fuck,
Speaker 1: I would love you know, there's some people out there
Speaker 1: who are like, oh my god, I hope that happens
Speaker 1: before you already.
Speaker 3: Okay, this Slanders like actually driving me insane, because how
Speaker 3: do you think I got to be the perfect specimen
Speaker 3: that I am? Like I look like Jacob Alordi, I
Speaker 3: sound like Beyonce when I sing. I have really big muscles,
Speaker 3: I have like a very perfect penis. Like there's a
Speaker 3: lot of things about me that like a lot of
Speaker 3: people like my parents paid good.
Speaker 1: I'm saying you look like more like nikocado avocado kind
Speaker 1: of that's what I do. You saw that that was
Speaker 1: like the top comment of the last episode, or like,
Speaker 1: what's that guy who gets like followed by drones with
Speaker 1: the face? Yeah, I see a lot of Daniel Larson comparison.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he's gonna get violent again.
Speaker 2: If you're gonna hit anyone, it should be me again.
Speaker 1: No he wants it. Yeah, don't give him want it.
Speaker 3: Like when y'all talk about my parents like that, because
Speaker 3: they made me the perfect person, Like it.
Speaker 1: Were they drunk when they were like choosing their options,
Speaker 1: So they thought they were picking like perfuse skinned blue eyes,
Speaker 1: like gorgeous hair. Oh they used to coopon.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they got like a really good deal on it.
Speaker 1: They got a bonus coin so they can only get
Speaker 1: certain like Avatar ships.
Speaker 2: They turned the bubble butt sitting all the way up.
Speaker 3: They did the clapper.
Speaker 1: It's crazy that when you do that, you're literally just
Speaker 1: like bouncing on your toes every time, like you.
Speaker 3: I just went, how is that?
Speaker 1: Eventually you were going to be eighty and have like
Speaker 1: nieces and nephews who filmed the funk out of you
Speaker 1: because you were going to be so psychonic, Like there's
Speaker 1: gonna be eight thousand videos on like some random child's
Speaker 1: mind iPhone of Drew being so scary.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's gonna be a problem.
Speaker 1: That's how we're gonna keep up.
Speaker 3: Like I'm gonna be the grandpa. What are you gonna say?
Speaker 2: Just the mind iPhone, the mind phone.
Speaker 3: I showed any of this video today of this grandpa
Speaker 3: seeing himself for the first time sad in a very
Speaker 3: long time. It's like the most heartbreaking, evil, dark video
Speaker 3: I've ever seen. In fact, I'll show you kyro Quick.
Speaker 1: It's gonna freaky out because you're what like two years
Speaker 1: away from the Skuys.
Speaker 2: I'm not a grandfather.
Speaker 1: I'm not a grandpa.
Speaker 5: We're literally matching right now, look at the colors your match.
Speaker 3: Of course, it's you need. And she goes on to say, like,
Speaker 3: you're so beautiful, you're video. I know that's gonna be me.
Speaker 2: That's so sad, Drew. That actually made me so sad.
Speaker 3: You need me to comfort you. It'll just be like working.
Speaker 3: Where's the work? Literally the specifically, just.
Speaker 1: Like I'm cooking in the studio, Yet they come out famish,
Speaker 1: like where's the food?
Speaker 3: Do No? That video was the saddest thing I've seen
Speaker 3: in a very long time. And it broke my heart
Speaker 3: into a million pieces. And I hate that we do
Speaker 3: that to ourselves.
Speaker 1: What that we care about, what we look like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why I got the near link. It's nothing physical,
Speaker 3: it's just all mental.
Speaker 1: I guess you do need more mental help than you
Speaker 1: do physical help, at least at the very moment. Because
Speaker 1: after your bugle fat and you look really good.
Speaker 3: Oh and you need to get in a car crash
Speaker 3: on the way to the gym.
Speaker 1: We go to the gym together, exactly.
Speaker 3: Okay, So I haven't written down, So for Christmas two
Speaker 3: years ago, or maybe it was my birthday two years ago,
Speaker 3: I was like sitting on the couch last night when
Speaker 3: I was like all alone, and I started like tearing
Speaker 3: up thinking about like the gift my dad got me.
Speaker 3: It's literally gonna make me so sad actually, but like
Speaker 3: it like the gifts, like I don't know how to
Speaker 3: say it without sounding mean, but they're like something I
Speaker 3: would never actually use. But he got me like two
Speaker 3: dildos as like a Christmas You're going to.
Speaker 1: Say something else. Also, like it seems like he knows
Speaker 1: his son really well, because I feel like you would
Speaker 1: actually use to know because you're so used that if
Speaker 1: you just use one, it'll slip out and then you
Speaker 1: spend the whole time.
Speaker 3: Turning, Hey, I've had anal sex like three hundred and
Speaker 3: eighty fucking times. True, big wook.
Speaker 2: That you're used?
Speaker 3: Yeah he's what not the only one? No?
Speaker 1: Did you?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: You told him that hot? That's always your thing. That's
Speaker 1: always your thing, you.
Speaker 2: Always I guess you're calling me whole number one hundred
Speaker 2: and seven.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, three hundred and seven.
Speaker 2: I texted you and I noticed that was my name
Speaker 2: in your friend.
Speaker 3: But no, my in all seriousness, my dad got me
Speaker 3: these two shirts and I was sitting I was ordering
Speaker 3: like some stuff off Amazon, and I looked up cool
Speaker 3: shirt designs on Amazon and the shirts he got me
Speaker 3: popped up and like they're the weirdest looking fucking shirts ever.
Speaker 3: But like, just thinking about him, like literally like buying
Speaker 3: me something that he thinks I would like enjoy and
Speaker 3: like just like literally makes me so happy and sad
Speaker 3: at the same time. I don't know how to describe
Speaker 3: what I'm feeling. But it was really sweet and like
Speaker 3: I'm a fucking weirdo and he knew these shirts were
Speaker 3: weird and he got them for me anyways because he
Speaker 3: thought I'd like them, and I love them and I
Speaker 3: still have them. Can I see them? They're like in
Speaker 3: my closet, but I'll just literally look up cool.
Speaker 1: Shirt, looking up cool shirt.
Speaker 3: What the fuck is happening on my phone right now?
Speaker 3: This one? What is going on?
Speaker 1: Did you hit play on something?
Speaker 3: No? Like, is it TikTok? It's my near and glitching?
Speaker 1: What is playing on your fucking phone? Is it from Spotify? Hello?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 1: What is just in your safari?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: Actually, what the hell?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's because you use your phone so fucking much
Speaker 1: that your phone just knows that it has to get
Speaker 1: the screen time up, so it'll just start playing things.
Speaker 1: Because if you see your screen time drop, you'll get
Speaker 1: really sad.
Speaker 3: And then when you see your boobs in vagina sag,
Speaker 3: when you get eight hundred years old, you're gonna be sad.
Speaker 3: How about that you get eight hundred years old. But yeah,
Speaker 3: last night, girl, the fuck this like literally fuck this,
Speaker 3: like literally fuck this, like I actually fuck this right now,
Speaker 3: Like I'm over it, Like I have all these notes
Speaker 3: to talk.
Speaker 2: About, but like, damn, that's a lot of notes.
Speaker 3: I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1: I am so tired. I don't know, but that's because
Speaker 1: I had to wake up early and I was out
Speaker 1: all fucking night last night or something the time of
Speaker 1: my fucking life. Oh, I interacted with the most like
Speaker 1: insane presence of a waitress I've ever interacted with at
Speaker 1: the restaurant last night. Like she was such an overwhelming vibe.
Speaker 1: She was a good vibe, but sometimes when people are
Speaker 1: like a good vibe, but two, I don't know how
Speaker 1: to describe it. We got there and it was just
Speaker 1: me like, no, dude. She she wasn't happy though, but
Speaker 1: it felt like she was. She had induced happiness, like
Speaker 1: it felt like she was on something happy. She didn't
Speaker 1: feel like normally like just like ah sweet happy. She
Speaker 1: felt like she was like looking at her, she was
Speaker 1: like see your first time here? Okay, oh yeah, I
Speaker 1: love that. No, welcome back, and like she was just
Speaker 1: like staring through me in jesters like bodies, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god. And we ordered your She's like,
Speaker 1: let me see your ID. No, I Got'm gonna see
Speaker 1: that ID, and then we gave it to her and
Speaker 1: then she came back. When Christian got there and Christian
Speaker 1: asked for beer, she was like, all of you look
Speaker 1: like nineteen and we were.
Speaker 3: Like, it's given. The girl at the hotel like typing
Speaker 3: on the keyboard like she was.
Speaker 1: That was the fastest wages I've ever met. Also, we
Speaker 1: got there at like eight thirty and she was like,
Speaker 1: just to let you know, the kitchen closes at nine
Speaker 1: forty five, and we were like, damn, that's like an
Speaker 1: hour and fifteen minutes away. Also, we just got here
Speaker 1: and she was like, I just want to let you
Speaker 1: know so you can order everything you want, everything you want, baby,
Speaker 1: And then she like said baby to one of us
Speaker 1: and we were like, what is happening? And I had
Speaker 1: never been to that restaurant, but based off the way
Speaker 1: she was acting when she was like, have you been here?
Speaker 1: I was like yes because I was so scared of
Speaker 1: what the answer to know would have been, Like I
Speaker 1: don't know, Like it freaked me out, but she was
Speaker 1: a vibe. Nonetheless, we loved her, but she was very
Speaker 1: scary to me, Like I kind of felt, I loki
Speaker 1: felt like she would kidnap me if she liked me
Speaker 1: a little too much?
Speaker 2: Is that positivity? Is that what that is? Oh?
Speaker 1: That's what it felt like.
Speaker 2: It was.
Speaker 1: It felt like evil positivity?
Speaker 2: Is that? What is that? What toxic positivity is?
Speaker 1: Is that a real term? I've never knowd that.
Speaker 2: It's like positive positivity is now like can be toxic?
Speaker 2: That's what I've heard.
Speaker 3: Like, you're being too nice?
Speaker 1: Is that like condescending? Though? Like is that not just
Speaker 1: the same idea of condescend?
Speaker 2: Honestly, it's like if you're you're just like you're unwilling
Speaker 2: to be rational and you're only like I'm only viewing
Speaker 2: things as positive.
Speaker 3: I'm not. I'm completely I guess I can see how
Speaker 3: that negativity of Yeah, I say, I guess I can
Speaker 3: see how that like would be like a privileged like
Speaker 3: thing to be, like, it's not that fucking bad, like.
Speaker 1: Just be too happy. Yeah, I've never had that problem.
Speaker 1: I've never never been happy. You must be the happy king,
Speaker 1: you must be the happy expert. I've actually never been
Speaker 1: to the Happy Store. I wouldn't know what it looks
Speaker 1: like and I wouldn't know what they sell. But it
Speaker 1: seems like you shop the Happy Shop a lot.
Speaker 3: Well, I was at the gym yesterday and I was changing,
Speaker 3: and I take my time and I change because I
Speaker 3: don't give a fuck about my body. Whoever wants to
Speaker 3: see it can see it. But like one of fifty
Speaker 3: people that if they saw my body I would be
Speaker 3: mortified saw my body yesterday at the gym and I
Speaker 3: was butt ass naked and I didn't see And I'm
Speaker 3: not naming their name because I don't want to say
Speaker 3: their name publicly, but it is someone that I like
Speaker 3: am a very big fan of, like like really really
Speaker 3: big fan, have been for a decade. They saw me naked,
Speaker 3: We made eye contact. He was fully clothed, and it
Speaker 3: was horrible, so.
Speaker 1: Humiliating about making eye contact with somebody while they're fully
Speaker 1: clothed and you're naked.
Speaker 3: Yeah. No, it was the most vulnerable I've ever felt.
Speaker 3: I felt like I can't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, to be a fan of James Charles for a
Speaker 1: decade takes a lot of dedication to fuck you, fuck
Speaker 1: you both.
Speaker 3: No, but it was. It was horrible and I like
Speaker 3: have never gotten dressed faster in my life. And I
Speaker 3: ran out of there and I sat on the bench
Speaker 3: outside of the locker rooms waiting for Enia to come out,
Speaker 3: and he walked out and we made eye contact again,
Speaker 3: and I just did you guys kiss? We did not know.
Speaker 3: It was like not fun, It was not It wasn't.
Speaker 1: A vibe at all. Well, I decided I need to
Speaker 1: stop smiling at people at the gym when I make
Speaker 1: eye contact with them, because I kind of think people
Speaker 1: might think I'm a pervert a little bit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because do a smile, you do? We fully fully
Speaker 3: nude women in the kay usually.
Speaker 1: I'm fully new too, but I'm just like like, because
Speaker 1: I don't know, we're both like naked as fuck, and
Speaker 1: like I feel like everybody has this fear in their
Speaker 1: fucking eyes, which I might grow up eighteen million times,
Speaker 1: like it's nothing new to see some fucking coo chimboobs like,
Speaker 1: it's not that crazy.
Speaker 3: I mean literally, show yours to me right now, like
Speaker 3: literally if it's not crazy, like if I saw you naked,
Speaker 3: literally like just show me naked and Kay's covering his eyes,
Speaker 3: it's okay.
Speaker 1: No, Well, because you like you find women sexually attractive,
Speaker 1: so it would make me feel very uncomfortable.
Speaker 3: And your pede in front of me today, Yeah, I literally.
Speaker 1: Did right before we start the vibe.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you were frying some fucking pork chops and the
Speaker 3: toilet bro like it sounded like horse meat.
Speaker 1: Did you smell my bean sprouts and asparagus piss?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 3: Did you have asparagus?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: I was like, where's that smell coming from?
Speaker 1: No, that's just my natural body odor.
Speaker 3: You need to get that looked at.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I realized yesterday because I did it. This
Speaker 1: was the energy of the waitress. I'm not kidding, but
Speaker 1: like more smiley so that but like and then when
Speaker 1: all of our guests got to the table for Jesso's birthday,
Speaker 1: she goes, none of your friends are ugly? What's up
Speaker 1: with that? And like it was a really nice compliment,
Speaker 1: but we were like, dude, she was Also it was
Speaker 1: so confusing because she Okay. Also, I don't want this
Speaker 1: to seem like I'm making fun of this woman. She
Speaker 1: was very nice. But I find interactions like that so
Speaker 1: confusing because I kept saying thank you to things you
Speaker 1: shouldn't say thank you to because everything she said she
Speaker 1: had the tone as if it was a compliment, but
Speaker 1: it wasn't like she would just be like, want anything
Speaker 1: to drink. Oh my god, you guys, I know you
Speaker 1: love it here. You guys always come here. And I
Speaker 1: just kept with thank you, thank you, and I like,
Speaker 1: but you shouldn't say thank you to that. It was
Speaker 1: really confusing me. But yeah, at the gym leaving yesterday,
Speaker 1: before I left and I was butt naked nasty, I
Speaker 1: walked past this girl who's also butt naked nasty, and
Speaker 1: I did my usual just like we made eye contact
Speaker 1: and held eye contacts. Is like like i'd Also, I
Speaker 1: don't shake my head like that. I'm just like, like
Speaker 1: I just knew a close mouth. Okay, I don't shake
Speaker 1: my head when I look at them, but we caught
Speaker 1: eye contact. Also, I'm not like smirking and like looking
Speaker 1: them up and down. I literally keep my eyes locked
Speaker 1: onto their eyes because we've locked eyes for some reason
Speaker 1: I just smile and keep walking. This girl gave me
Speaker 1: a look like she thought I was going to throw
Speaker 1: her into the showers and like pee on her or
Speaker 1: something like. Her look was pure fear and terror. And
Speaker 1: then I walked out to you. I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I think I'm realizing I shouldn't be just
Speaker 1: smiling at people at the gym in the locker room
Speaker 1: because they genuinely think I'm going to like kidnap them
Speaker 1: and like throw them into the river.
Speaker 3: Give me your hand real quick. No, no, no, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna do an aura reading real quick. It's given gray.
Speaker 1: My aura. There's no way it's great.
Speaker 3: No, you have like a green aura. It's like a
Speaker 3: green aura. Do you want me to do so?
Speaker 1: I have this like really crazy thing for you to
Speaker 1: think about, Drew. There's a green light shining on my hand.
Speaker 1: When you do that, yours is.
Speaker 3: It's either blue or purple? And of course I have
Speaker 3: the white.
Speaker 1: No, you're just talking about your skin color. You're supposed
Speaker 1: to like f figure out the oar around it. Also,
Speaker 1: you saying I have green when that light is just
Speaker 1: shining off my hand.
Speaker 2: It's a symbol of growth, renewal and balance.
Speaker 1: Is white is green?
Speaker 3: Wait?
Speaker 1: What's white? What's white?
Speaker 2: White? It just says gay.
Speaker 1: Oh oh you are really good at that. That's crazy
Speaker 1: that you picked.
Speaker 3: Up on I'm happy. I'm fucking happy. No, not that
Speaker 3: I'm fucking happy.
Speaker 1: We don't mean it that way. I loved that comeback
Speaker 1: as a kid. Well, gay is happy. So yeah, I
Speaker 1: guess I'm gay. I mean I'm the gayest person in
Speaker 1: the road.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm fucking happy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm super gay. I'm like the gayest person ever.
Speaker 1: Like I should win the gay Award because I'm so
Speaker 1: fucking happy.
Speaker 3: In your sass, I'm toxically positive.
Speaker 1: And what is blue mean? Probably like oh.
Speaker 3: Wow, oh wow, horse write a cowboy.
Speaker 2: I could read blue. Oars are sensitive, deep thinkers who
Speaker 2: are in tune with their truth voice.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, that is true sort of. Yeah what is
Speaker 3: white though? For uh? Let me see, it's probably like creative, passionate, independent,
Speaker 3: loves himself.
Speaker 2: Well balanced personality, calm and open to possibilities.
Speaker 1: Oh you are open, but does it specify what's open?
Speaker 2: This was verse two.
Speaker 3: I'm a fucking top if anything.
Speaker 1: To talk about that? The twink allegations, Yeah, I have
Speaker 1: it saved in my fucking ear.
Speaker 3: So I dot love the druth four twenty shout out
Speaker 3: for the username posted a video saying Drew Phillips twink era.
Speaker 3: Fuck you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you mean by that?
Speaker 3: I mean, I guess it was my twink era, But
Speaker 3: fuck you to the comments that we're saying what era?
Speaker 3: He's still in his twink era, bitch. I I'm not
Speaker 3: a fucking twink. I'm not a fucking twink. Okay, I'm
Speaker 3: an order. I'm a fucking otter.
Speaker 1: M.
Speaker 6: Those pictures are so fucking funny.
Speaker 3: I was in a twinker, I had a twink arc,
Speaker 3: but fuck you, you.
Speaker 1: Fuck you to be fair like every like straight guy
Speaker 1: on the internet also looked like that at that time,
Speaker 1: because that's also why I was like, I love him,
Speaker 1: He's like my babe, that's my crush because every guy
Speaker 1: looks like that.
Speaker 3: No, I have my own I have my own swag.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people I liked in high
Speaker 1: school ended up being gay though, so not you, not you.
Speaker 1: I just had a lot of.
Speaker 3: People well, speaking of gay, did either play webs Webkins? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Did you play webs.
Speaker 6: Rah?
Speaker 3: Not again?
Speaker 2: I did, but not as much as I played like
Speaker 2: Tomtown Oh nice.
Speaker 3: Did you play Webkins?
Speaker 1: No, because I was always under the assumption that you
Speaker 1: had to connect a credit card to it, and my
Speaker 1: parents have never, oh never had.
Speaker 3: A credit card.
Speaker 1: A credit card a card expert.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, there's this guy in Webkins and he's a
Speaker 3: store owner and his name is Artifact, and you would
Speaker 3: go in and buy cool little like jewels and trinkets
Speaker 3: and just little things from his like artifacts store, saying
Speaker 3: like that because his name is Artie Fact.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, and.
Speaker 3: What the fuck did I say? Oh, I'm reading two
Speaker 3: different ones. But he would say like, welcome to the
Speaker 3: curio shop. Like he has like a thick accent. Why
Speaker 3: is he hot?
Speaker 1: Oh he is hot. Yeah, he's hot as fun.
Speaker 2: That is exactly what the guys that you show.
Speaker 1: Me like he is. Fuck.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: When you think someone's hot, I can agree they're hot,
Speaker 1: but I would absolutely never be down for it. Does
Speaker 1: that make sense? Like I can understand and be like, yes,
Speaker 1: that's a hot person, but never my vibe. But I
Speaker 1: guess we've already talked about this. My vibe is so peculiar.
Speaker 3: Your vibe has no vibe.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just have zero vibes. It's all it's it's
Speaker 1: all about personality because I just believe in ugly people
Speaker 1: getting a chance.
Speaker 3: Amen. But on my webkins. On Webkins, one time, me
Speaker 3: and my sister had a shared account and we would
Speaker 3: ask for like webkins for every single birthday, every single holiday,
Speaker 3: every single Christmas. That's all we wanted for like three years.
Speaker 3: And like we had like a.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I think your stitches are infected because I can
Speaker 1: smell them.
Speaker 3: You were rotten back too, But anyways, I was on Webkins.
Speaker 3: It was like mine in Madaline's like passion as a
Speaker 3: child or as children, we like put so much time
Speaker 3: and effort into like building our houses, playing the games
Speaker 3: to get our coins up, like taking care of our
Speaker 3: little annal animals, and it was just like a fun
Speaker 3: thing to do.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 3: One time, Madeline's dumbass was at a neo salon and
Speaker 3: there was like a girl our age there and Maden
Speaker 3: just got to start. She just started getting to talking
Speaker 3: to this girl and like they were hanging out and
Speaker 3: they were like, oh yeah, we love Webkins too. Me
Speaker 3: and my brother love Webkins too, Like can I see
Speaker 3: your account? Like Manon was like I don't have like
Speaker 3: a laptop or anything to show you, but like I
Speaker 3: can give you my password and log into our account,
Speaker 3: I mean like hundreds of dollars, Like like webkins were
Speaker 3: like twenty dollars each, and like we probably had thirty
Speaker 3: years prob live giving away my Fortnite account exactly exactly,
Speaker 3: we had like thirty or forty of them. So like Madeline,
Speaker 3: just giving this password to this little girl not that
Speaker 3: big of a deal. Like this little girl did not
Speaker 3: have malicious intentions, or so we thought. She went home,
Speaker 3: logged into our account, and then sent herself our most
Speaker 3: valuable like item that we owned. She had sent that
Speaker 3: to her own account, and we were like, where the
Speaker 3: fuck did that go? This dumb ass little girl. She
Speaker 3: gave us her login and password as well so we
Speaker 3: could go and look at her account. We stole everything
Speaker 3: from her account and changed the password so she never
Speaker 3: was able to get back in. See but don't fucking play, like,
Speaker 3: do not play with me, Like, don't try it.
Speaker 1: That's because that little girl grew up to be Anadelvi
Speaker 1: so she never learned exactly, And Adelby is the girl
Speaker 1: who's a SCAMMERA right, she did not.
Speaker 3: Scam, she was the girl.
Speaker 2: But that's I don't think I've never talked about that.
Speaker 3: So you dated Annadel But actually that makes sense. Y'all's
Speaker 3: New York timelines.
Speaker 2: Add up, Yeah, because yeah we did.
Speaker 1: It was she does have a weird thing for men
Speaker 1: with no job, no house, no carnovibe. So that timeline
Speaker 1: does well.
Speaker 2: I do have a house, and I have a job,
Speaker 2: and I have riz and I pulled that's true, had
Speaker 2: an incredible three weeks.
Speaker 1: We had a magical acount of unbelievable on top.
Speaker 2: I told me that I have that macaroni in a pot.
Speaker 1: What the fuck she was sucking your butt? I want
Speaker 1: to find the thing that's like and that little girl
Speaker 1: grew up to be Ariana Grande. Do you know what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about? Like those so it's so with standing
Speaker 1: and asking for like a.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, classic classic, while you find that. So
Speaker 3: this girl took our account and then you mentioned fortnite,
Speaker 3: so there's a transition to fortnite.
Speaker 1: One day, Ariana Grande walked out of a store with
Speaker 1: a box of cookies. Outside the store, she saw a
Speaker 1: kid selling newspapers. She gave him her box of cookies
Speaker 1: and said, ethe's cookies. Child. One day you will grow
Speaker 1: up to be someone very important that child grew up
Speaker 1: to be Barack Obama?
Speaker 3: Is that real?
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, look look at them.
Speaker 3: Is that actually real? Dude?
Speaker 1: Swear to god. It's from Facebook dot com slash legendary Facts.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, I'm tired.
Speaker 3: Of heart this podcast Heart Hard to Heart. Ya and
Speaker 3: I had a heart to heart on the couch yesterday
Speaker 3: and we were having a very beautiful conversation or a sad,
Speaker 3: tragically sad conversation, but it was a it was a
Speaker 3: beautiful vibe. It was nice. Enya had Fortnite playing in
Speaker 3: the background and she joined the lobby and it was
Speaker 3: a loading lobby, and Enya was like sitting on the
Speaker 3: couch like sobbing her eyes out, like bawling, just like
Speaker 3: talking about some things going on. And in the background,
Speaker 3: I hear every fucking Fortnight emo possible here.
Speaker 1: I emoted to just add a natural reaction. I'm sitting
Speaker 1: here sobbing, and I was like hitting the.
Speaker 3: Like it sounded fucking bass boosted. It was the most
Speaker 3: insane thing ever. And I was trying so hard not
Speaker 3: to laugh because like the whole just scene that we
Speaker 3: were in was just crazy because it was like you
Speaker 3: crying Fortnite blowing my other ear drum out and it
Speaker 3: was just fucking hilarious.
Speaker 1: I recorded that conversation. Oh really, because because I've like what,
Speaker 1: I've been doing this thing because I don't I'm not
Speaker 1: good at like writing how I feel. So I actually
Speaker 1: this is a problem and one day it's gonna get
Speaker 1: me in trouble because one day someone's gonna find out
Speaker 1: I do this and get really mad at me. I
Speaker 1: record conversations all the time, Like I have a forty
Speaker 1: minute conversation between you, me and Ryan recorded on my
Speaker 1: phone and nobody in the room knew I was recording
Speaker 1: because I just wanted to be natural, but I want
Speaker 1: to scary. You could hear the Fortnight Like it's like me,
Speaker 1: I'm like I don't know, and it's.
Speaker 3: Like like.
Speaker 1: You can hear the Fortnight helloading screen.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you literally can hear.
Speaker 1: Dude, this is crazy. You can't to It's like he's
Speaker 1: like talking about like trauma, sit It's like, un to
Speaker 1: the guy, it's crazy. But that's just me, Like I'm
Speaker 1: just that kind of person. Also, fuck you fucking bitches.
Speaker 1: I'm never sharing my royals again. Nobody can be happy
Speaker 1: for me. Everybody's like, oh, we about lobby. Oh play
Speaker 1: ranked sometimes ranked is fucking easier than zero. Build you funky,
Speaker 1: fucking bitch. Fuck you bitch. You can't be happy for anybody,
Speaker 1: and that's why your parents let you lock yourself in
Speaker 1: your room and isolate away. They don't want to talk
Speaker 1: to you because you're fucking evil, You fucking bitch. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: That was actually so fucked up. I take that back,
Speaker 1: and I don't even want to wait for the next
Speaker 1: episode to come out. I just want to come forward
Speaker 1: and say that that was so wrong of me.
Speaker 3: Guys, and I really am so sorry.
Speaker 1: But I've never I'm never sharing my joy again. Fuck you,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna kill myself and it's your.
Speaker 3: Fault, period, And that's on what.
Speaker 1: And instead of going to my funeral, you'll be going
Speaker 1: to small claims court because Drew will be prosecuting you,
Speaker 1: and he will be defending me and himself.
Speaker 3: From all the gay allegations.
Speaker 1: No that one, I'm going on the stand against you, Okay,
Speaker 1: Drew High up Corner, Do y'all not play? Do you
Speaker 1: not play the thing?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: Why why do you sing it?
Speaker 3: Because I just like singing it? Vie, Yes, Drew's high
Speaker 3: up corner. Okay, you don't like go Okay, if your
Speaker 3: pussy stinks, you got to. But holes having an ugly
Speaker 3: friend isn't a problem until they start calling you twin.
Speaker 1: That's how I feel with you.
Speaker 3: I don't want head if you're spit stinks.
Speaker 1: I feel like if you're spit stinks in your giving head,
Speaker 1: that's more of a problem for the person giving head.
Speaker 1: But that's just mine.
Speaker 3: Yep. And you drink sixty seven ounces of coffee in
Speaker 3: four minutes and says, man, I don't feel good. I
Speaker 3: have anxiety, but you're tweaking off the bean gay son
Speaker 3: or thought daughter better question skibity toilet son or Sephora daughter?
Speaker 1: He yo, Oh my god, dude, I really want to
Speaker 1: play back when you said his bunk ass joke, Like
Speaker 1: I need to watch.
Speaker 3: That, Pami shout out Pedro, Isaac and Ianni Drow Pascal. Yeah,
Speaker 3: he sent in one to my email. M M, I
Speaker 3: think we're living in Darney Darko, Darney dark I think
Speaker 3: we are. Have you been seeing all the players the
Speaker 3: Darney Darko? Have you been seeing all the burning planes
Speaker 3: in the sky? We are literally living Donnie Darko. Yes.
Speaker 2: Two nights ago I saw a fiery ball in the
Speaker 2: sky Donnie Darka and it disappeared Donnie Darko. I'm not joking.
Speaker 3: What is the plot of Donnie Darko?
Speaker 2: The plane lands in the house and then a robot?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've never seen it. Are you serious?
Speaker 3: I know, like there's a bullying scene or some ship.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was so weird, And so that's why that
Speaker 1: movie is so scary.
Speaker 3: I've never noticed that water tower.
Speaker 1: I don't see one.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you haven't noticed it either.
Speaker 1: Was gonna say, oh, that was a shooting star. You
Speaker 1: were just so clouded by your own pessimism that you
Speaker 1: can't enjoy the things God gives to you.
Speaker 3: Why are you always She's right?
Speaker 1: You know what makes me so something nice is when
Speaker 1: I'm in a full of people I love and I
Speaker 1: care about, which is like y'all and all my friends,
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, it is so that I'm the only
Speaker 1: one in here who is going to have a joyful
Speaker 1: afterlife because I'm going to heaven and the rest of
Speaker 1: you are going to burn in hell for all the
Speaker 1: sins that you've committed. And I've tried countless times to
Speaker 1: save you because I love you all so much that
Speaker 1: I would love to spend my afterlife with you, but
Speaker 1: you continue to be sinful and disgusting and honestly, now
Speaker 1: I have a ravenous, awful, hellish death, and I.
Speaker 3: Know the sins you've committed, and should I bring them up? Should?
Speaker 3: Ya's got a few skellingtons in her closet, gay, So
Speaker 3: know so.
Speaker 1: When you cover your mouth and then you you're supposed
Speaker 1: to like whisper, So I know it doesn't even matter.
Speaker 1: We don't even have to blur that because I should
Speaker 1: never would never happen, never happened to me, and not
Speaker 1: to my knowledge.
Speaker 2: That's misinformation, the classic classic. You're just saying, I'm going
Speaker 2: to go to heaven because I'm so sweet, so I'll
Speaker 2: be with you up there.
Speaker 1: That's true, that's actually not how you get into heaven.
Speaker 1: Sounds like you might be diabetic.
Speaker 3: You made Actually you might be diabetic because when I
Speaker 3: was drinking your piano the toilet, it was really sweet.
Speaker 2: It was like I for dscornc.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was really sweet.
Speaker 1: That's why when you pee it sounds so loud, because
Speaker 1: it's just pure fucking.
Speaker 3: Has like a really good stream. A really good stream
Speaker 3: is very large. Two boys in a sandbox, Oh, wait,
Speaker 3: we have to do media.
Speaker 1: I almost forgot. Oh my guys, my phone's dead, so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to go off the top of my head. Oh,
Speaker 1: somebody made an edit to a Holland Oats song. I
Speaker 1: don't remember what account it was, but boy, do you
Speaker 1: know how to please a woman like me? You should
Speaker 1: actually go to gay school because I bet you're a
Speaker 1: girl who made that, and you might be yay because
Speaker 1: you're some women.
Speaker 3: The fuck are you saying? Bru?
Speaker 1: Oh, I guess you should have go to gay school.
Speaker 1: You should teach gay school because you're already so good
Speaker 1: at it.
Speaker 3: Mine is behind the bars Elliot Smith.
Speaker 1: And that's where he hated to go and hew wow,
Speaker 1: right by the bars. Mine is bitch where by Chief Keith.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and he's a glow girl yeah, and is
Speaker 3: a modern day.
Speaker 1: Glow freaking crazy. Uh that's a song. And then the
Speaker 1: rest is like the same ship. I've been saying because
Speaker 1: I've just been listening to the same music and I
Speaker 1: actually need to get actually, oh uh what is it?
Speaker 1: It's like ask about Me or something by John Lennon.
Speaker 1: So because I'm going on my like the Beatles journey,
Speaker 1: everybody was like, oh, my god, the Beatles, the Beatles.
Speaker 1: I thought you said you hated the Beatles. People aren't
Speaker 1: subject to change. Why are you so fucking evil? You conniding,
Speaker 1: fucking White.
Speaker 3: Chrumb Country one Tricks Point Never sugar Storm, Trent, just.
Speaker 1: A bunch of noise classes.
Speaker 3: From Maternal Sunshine and This Spotless Mind. John Byron, Joe Biden,
Speaker 3: John Byron.
Speaker 1: The worst thing I ever did was somebody I broke
Speaker 1: up with soon after. I got them the soundtrack to
Speaker 1: Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Line because it's their favorite movie.
Speaker 1: And I was like, this would be such a cute
Speaker 1: gift to give them, and I gave it to them
Speaker 1: and I was like, and I felt so evil, but
Speaker 1: they were happy.
Speaker 3: That's behavior.
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't talk with me.
Speaker 3: That is toxic positivity. Uh, Starfall Salem, that's my media.
Speaker 1: Oh my media is oblivious by Aztec camera And we
Speaker 1: could send letters that one. That whole album is awesome. Yeah, guys,
Speaker 1: oh my god, life is. Life's so amazing when you
Speaker 1: are me and I could see how if you were true,
Speaker 1: it'd be really hard.
Speaker 2: Fuck you.
Speaker 3: Have you heard the new Jojo Seaweed track.
Speaker 1: There's pretty fucking way she has music.
Speaker 3: It's pretty good.
Speaker 1: Actually, I'm done. I'm fucking done. I'm not not talking
Speaker 1: any more.
Speaker 3: Fuck you guys, Like, seriously, Okay, what's your media?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Every time he asked me, he SAIDs porn.
Speaker 2: No, I've only said that joke once and now I'm
Speaker 2: known for it because it's so funny. All right, my media,
Speaker 2: all right, my media this week is porn.
Speaker 3: Oh, my fucking god.
Speaker 2: Okay, No, my media is actually Homecoming by the Teenagers.
Speaker 2: That song have you guys heard?
Speaker 3: That song isn't new or old, it's old as fuck.
Speaker 1: It's see You know what's crazy is I've always been
Speaker 1: an absolute piece of shit fuck face, and I'm always
Speaker 1: like I only want to hear old music. And now
Speaker 1: when I see a song is from two thousand and eight,
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's old enough. I can like tap into that,
Speaker 1: which is so fucking scary.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: My cutoffs like twenty sixteen.
Speaker 2: Was that it was what it the song Oh oh,
Speaker 2: I could do more? Ditto by New Jeanes, and then
Speaker 2: Mario's Kafe by Saint Etien.
Speaker 1: Ohs and shirt No. I have a really good say.
Speaker 1: I haven't warned because it's like humongous it would fit me.
Speaker 3: But she won't let me wear it.
Speaker 1: No, it's it's like it's literally a dress.
Speaker 3: What were you saying the other day? Guy, You're like
Speaker 3: that moment like shifted everything.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, the humongous You remember that video of like
Speaker 2: the humongous guy?
Speaker 3: Are you hitting me? And yeah?
Speaker 2: You remember that?
Speaker 1: What is that?
Speaker 2: It was like this guy that was like, I forget
Speaker 2: what it was.
Speaker 3: It was like a presidential debate. It was no, it
Speaker 3: was a presidential debate. And he's They asked him his
Speaker 3: name and he was like Hugh Mungas.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I was telling you that that was the
Speaker 2: beginning of the culture war.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that shifted everything.
Speaker 2: That was the first shot fire.
Speaker 3: Red versus Blue.
Speaker 1: I'm actually going to leave the house right now and
Speaker 1: go get new slippers because look at the bottom of this.
Speaker 3: Oh gross Red versus Blue Civil War to come to
Speaker 3: with me to Texas to stop the people from coming in?
Speaker 1: What the fuck are you talking about?
Speaker 3: Sorry? That was near orlan.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, thank you guys for watching. I hope
Speaker 1: something bad.
Speaker 3: Happens that I just love. Fuck you want to up?
Speaker 1: If I said that something bad happened to somebody, their
Speaker 1: brain would naturally connect those two events. And literally hate
Speaker 1: me for the rest of their life.
Speaker 5: Model why model why
Speaker 2: M