WEBVTT - Drew got a neuralink 0:00:15.960 --> 0:00:18.960 Welcome to this upisode of Emergency Intercom. Drew has been 0:00:19.000 --> 0:00:21.520 in the bathroom for thirty minutes, so I'm just starting 0:00:21.520 --> 0:00:23.400 without him because I'm annoyed and I want to get 0:00:23.400 --> 0:00:26.160 this over with. Like it's a job. Just because it's 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:28.240 fun doesn't mean it's not a job. Like That's actually 0:00:28.240 --> 0:00:31.440 what people don't realize is everybody thinks, oh, my life 0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:33.879 is so easy, But this is a job, guys, and 0:00:34.000 --> 0:00:37.600 I treat it as such. I treat it Drew. Drew, 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:41.120 come in. I haven't seen him for like two days. Really, yeah, 0:00:41.120 --> 0:00:43.800 he's just been locked in his room. Why are you? 0:00:44.640 --> 0:00:48.640 Sounds weird? What the fuck? Oh my god? 0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:49.559 What happened? 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:51.080 Drew? 0:00:51.200 --> 0:00:55.040 Open your eyes? Did you get a facelift? What is 0:00:55.080 --> 0:00:58.280 wrong with you? What's all the bandages? You're oh? 0:00:58.360 --> 0:01:00.720 Oh oh oh, you're into stuff? 0:01:03.560 --> 0:01:05.120 What's wrong with you? Drew? 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:07.280 I got the neuralink? 0:01:08.360 --> 0:01:10.320 Oh my god? Is that you? Are you the one 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:11.640 who got the fucking neuralink? 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:12.680 I'm patient zero? 0:01:12.800 --> 0:01:14.600 And then why did they let you out? I saw that? 0:01:14.640 --> 0:01:18.720 Did you see somebody got into the Why? 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:20.400 Wait? 0:01:20.440 --> 0:01:22.360 Did they just put the Tesla chip in a person? 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:23.319 I don't think that the. 0:01:24.160 --> 0:01:26.280 Musk by Tesla Stock. 0:01:27.480 --> 0:01:29.520 Are you okay? I don't think you're healing right. I 0:01:29.520 --> 0:01:31.200 don't know why they would let you out if you Hello, 0:01:31.240 --> 0:01:37.240 why are you staring? You're like the neuralink gets you right, 0:01:37.840 --> 0:01:40.320 That's what I'm saying. I don't think the neural link 0:01:40.440 --> 0:01:41.160 is working. 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:43.960 If you're like, I can see the old behind his eyes, 0:01:44.000 --> 0:01:44.920 but I can tell that it's. 0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:47.840 Locked in there. He might still be him. What's wrong? 0:01:48.000 --> 0:01:53.760 You're like convulsing? Is it like fucking with Like your 0:01:53.840 --> 0:01:56.000 legs are still twisted the way they usually are. So 0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:57.120 you're in there somewhere. 0:01:58.920 --> 0:02:00.320 Hello, are you okay? 0:02:00.880 --> 0:02:01.960 Okay, good, I'm good. 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:03.600 Did you just restart? 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:06.280 I have like a calculator in my brain. I'm doing math. 0:02:06.520 --> 0:02:10.160 I'm like, I'm like, I'm doing the math of those 0:02:10.160 --> 0:02:15.040 flowers over there, something that you have math, flowers, sacred geometry, 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:16.800 golden ratio, ship like that. 0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:17.520 Okay. 0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:21.720 I actually can drive my car with my brain. Now. 0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:24.160 That's really all there is to it. 0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:27.320 That's all it does. Why would somebody get it? Ky? 0:02:27.400 --> 0:02:28.640 Why can't you look at him in the face. 0:02:29.680 --> 0:02:32.079 It's not him, Like, I don't know to explain it. 0:02:32.080 --> 0:02:33.280 It's just not him anymore. 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:37.000 You can't breathe in that or something like it's like 0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:38.480 cutting off your circulations. 0:02:38.520 --> 0:02:42.960 Like I'm like crying, Like they took my brain. They 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:44.160 took my frontal lobe. 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:48.640 Can you review it? Like, I'm yeah, it's probably interesting. 0:02:48.680 --> 0:02:51.880 So the surgery was really weird. They had like a 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:56.080 capuchin monkey next to me that like they took it 0:02:56.160 --> 0:02:58.560 out of that monkey's brain. 0:02:58.880 --> 0:03:00.680 Wait, so you got a you neurally? 0:03:00.840 --> 0:03:02.440 Well yeah, they were like, oh, we can give you 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:05.680 a used one because like we already like no, it 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:09.520 works and whatnot. And so they put me down. I 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:12.000 wasn't even asleep. I was wide awake, and they like 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:15.320 they legally couldn't put me under anesthesia or some shit, 0:03:15.800 --> 0:03:18.840 and they thought I couldn't feel anything because I lied 0:03:18.919 --> 0:03:21.680 and I told them I was like paraplegic because that's 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:23.560 the only way I was able to get it wheeled 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:25.239 in there in a wheelchair? Did all that whole shit 0:03:25.320 --> 0:03:25.959 active blind? 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:28.000 Oh? Could they not test you for that? I feel 0:03:28.040 --> 0:03:29.840 like they probably would have known. Did they just take 0:03:29.880 --> 0:03:30.280 your words? 0:03:30.360 --> 0:03:33.239 I just have like a really high pain tolerance, I guess, 0:03:34.040 --> 0:03:37.520 So that's not what Okay. I'm just like really strong, 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:41.040 Like I'm like stronger than the average men, and especially 0:03:41.040 --> 0:03:45.000 with this Tesla Tesla. 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:46.760 Fuck, it kind of just seems I can give you 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:47.240 like a. 0:03:47.120 --> 0:03:54.040 Minor elon fucking musk musk fuck. You're like, yeah, so 0:03:54.120 --> 0:03:56.320 they laid me down on that table, put it in 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:01.600 know they on musk fucked it into me. 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:04.200 Oh yeah, it's like a colon as you. 0:04:04.160 --> 0:04:06.800 Know that picture where it's like massage her brain with 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:07.720 books or whatever. 0:04:07.800 --> 0:04:08.480 Yeah, that's what. 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:11.400 Lincoln there exactly. 0:04:11.560 --> 0:04:13.280 Okay, that's promising. 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:15.760 But yeah, it's like, so far it's been like Tesla 0:04:15.920 --> 0:04:19.880 like really like actually good. 0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:23.320 I mean you seem I mean, you're not the fastest 0:04:23.440 --> 0:04:27.480 on your feet ever, don't seem faster. 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:32.040 Well, I can drive my car without using my hands. 0:04:32.320 --> 0:04:34.760 I don't know if that's necessarily worth it because you 0:04:34.839 --> 0:04:36.280 kind of can't walk anymore. 0:04:36.440 --> 0:04:39.520 They won't let me use my fucking iPhone either, oh. 0:04:39.400 --> 0:04:41.400 Because they're starting their own phones. 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:44.080 Well I just can't look at bright lights, blue light. 0:04:45.720 --> 0:04:48.279 But yeah, so that was my story. I'm the first 0:04:48.279 --> 0:04:51.799 person to get the near link installed. My hands work. 0:04:52.160 --> 0:04:54.040 For all the haters saying that like my hands and 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:57.320 legs wouldn't work after like I would die, Like I'm fine, 0:04:57.360 --> 0:04:59.320 I just have like a couple of fucking ticks, and 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:01.200 now I'm better than. 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:04.800 You, better than because I don't know if you would 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:06.400 ever pass a d u y ever. 0:05:06.480 --> 0:05:10.080 Again, I have to keep the bandage on for four months, though. 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:13.080 Four months you're gonna like rot through it. 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:16.040 Okay, I'm done talking about this because y'all are just 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:21.480 like bullying me. Then they warned me. They said there 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:24.279 will be a lot of haters. That's what the doctor said. 0:05:25.360 --> 0:05:26.880 I got the mark of the beast. I got the 0:05:26.920 --> 0:05:30.080 market of the. 0:05:28.640 --> 0:05:31.479 They were like, okay, make sure you wash around your 0:05:32.240 --> 0:05:35.040 like incisions. 0:05:34.360 --> 0:05:36.240 No other shower for like three months. 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:38.960 Oh okay, So they were like, make sure you don't 0:05:38.960 --> 0:05:41.479 get wet. And also there will be a lot of haters. 0:05:41.920 --> 0:05:44.680 Ops, they used the word ups. The doctor said up 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:46.159 to Oppenheimer. 0:05:47.440 --> 0:05:48.839 Yeah, I guess that's doctor lingo. 0:05:50.400 --> 0:05:54.200 But yeah, do you feel like it's changed your personality 0:05:54.200 --> 0:05:54.520 at all? 0:05:54.640 --> 0:05:57.000 Like, no, okay, shut. 0:05:56.760 --> 0:05:57.240 The fuck up. 0:05:57.360 --> 0:05:59.000 Okay, he's still here, he's still here. 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:01.720 You too, fuck you? Oh my god? 0:06:02.560 --> 0:06:04.040 You do you want to be saying that or are 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:05.599 they like programming you to say that? 0:06:06.520 --> 0:06:08.240 Wait? Should we do some tests on him? 0:06:08.600 --> 0:06:09.360 Yeah? 0:06:09.600 --> 0:06:14.360 Elon Musk has a giant penis. All right, giant penis 0:06:14.440 --> 0:06:15.240 elon Musk. 0:06:15.800 --> 0:06:17.679 How do you, Drew, how do you feel about the libs? 0:06:18.560 --> 0:06:18.960 Uh? 0:06:19.080 --> 0:06:19.839 Lib cards. 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:23.520 Yeah, it seems like it has it's workers side effects. 0:06:24.080 --> 0:06:31.200 We need to kill all liberals. Oh, demon crats, demon crats. 0:06:31.320 --> 0:06:33.400 Well, that's kind of blurring the lines of things Drew 0:06:33.400 --> 0:06:34.400 would just say normally. 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:36.760 So it's kind of hard to it's just troll shit, 0:06:36.880 --> 0:06:39.120 Like I'm on my troll shit, Like I just tweeted 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:42.600 fourteen tweets from my brain, like directly to twitter eggs, 0:06:42.640 --> 0:06:43.920 Like do any. 0:06:43.839 --> 0:06:45.839 Of that shit with neurallink? Like what is it actually for? 0:06:46.080 --> 0:06:48.560 Is it for medical purposes or is it actually because 0:06:48.560 --> 0:06:50.520 I saw this thing that they were doing for addicts 0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:52.000 that they can go when you could get a brain 0:06:52.040 --> 0:06:54.760 surgery or something gets inserted into your brain to try 0:06:54.760 --> 0:06:56.920 and stop you from being an addict. So they're trying 0:06:56.920 --> 0:07:01.400 to like solve addiction via surgery. And there was this 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:03.919 video that was like really emotional, and I was like, Wow, 0:07:03.960 --> 0:07:06.039 this would be insane, this will save lives. I would 0:07:06.240 --> 0:07:07.919 I would like to watch this video. So I watched 0:07:07.920 --> 0:07:11.720 the video. Two of the people relapsed. Not soon after 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:13.680 one of them dropped out and didn't want to be 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:17.280 have his data taken anymore because he was on the 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:19.880 verge of relapsing and only one guy's been like. 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:22.480 Success rate. 0:07:22.720 --> 0:07:25.679 Yes's true, but also like I think, I guess maybe 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:27.800 that's what addicts need is a camera on them twenty 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:29.640 four to seven to guilt and shame. 0:07:29.800 --> 0:07:31.240 Yeah, exactly, So we'll get that. 0:07:31.760 --> 0:07:34.320 For you with that app you have, like your problem 0:07:34.360 --> 0:07:36.440 with them, Maybe not anymore. 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:38.040 I'm not gon allowed to use my phone. 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:40.280 Oh is that what you got it? So you could 0:07:40.320 --> 0:07:42.520 stop using grinder for twelve hours a day. 0:07:42.760 --> 0:07:46.160 Yeah, that was true, Spinal, But yeah, I got the 0:07:46.280 --> 0:07:48.760 near link installed because I was addicted to Grinder. 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:51.600 Well, I just want us to play the video of 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:54.520 Drew dead, asleep on the floor, drunk as fuck one 0:07:54.560 --> 0:07:56.440 more time for podcast sake. 0:07:57.720 --> 0:07:59.520 Maybe we could drive him to the hospital. 0:08:00.240 --> 0:08:01.880 No, I'm not going to the hospital. 0:08:02.760 --> 0:08:05.720 We could just drive to the hospital. It wouldn't cost 0:08:05.880 --> 0:08:06.920 four thousand dollars. 0:08:09.280 --> 0:08:12.160 The thing is, Mason last night was literally throwing up 0:08:12.200 --> 0:08:14.000 like four times in a row. We did take him 0:08:14.000 --> 0:08:15.360 to the hospital, So I'm like, why do we have 0:08:15.400 --> 0:08:16.520 to take Drew to the hospital. 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:20.680 Look at him, He's way worse than Mason. This is 0:08:20.800 --> 0:08:22.920 like Project Decks. 0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:25.520 Yeah, I know what if it's like, because I was 0:08:25.560 --> 0:08:28.400 watching it again and it is insane that I was 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:30.560 so drunken, in a different state of mind that I 0:08:30.600 --> 0:08:32.480 looked at this dead person on the floor. I say, 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:34.599 we didn't need to say this. Also, he's fine, Like 0:08:35.280 --> 0:08:37.600 it actually freaks me out the way you look. 0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:40.720 At your behavior, And that was crazy. It was the 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:43.560 last time I felt any love from Nya from that 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:46.720 moment on. She just hasn't loved me the same. 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:49.280 Something switched, something switched I. 0:08:49.200 --> 0:08:50.960 Saw, which I flipped inside him. 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:52.760 I saw a side of you that was just so 0:08:52.920 --> 0:08:56.200 repulsive that night, but you deserve I. 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:58.240 Was saying the other day that I want to do 0:08:58.320 --> 0:09:01.920 that again, Like I really need to get to that 0:09:01.960 --> 0:09:06.000 state again. It's been since that day that I've ever 0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:09.600 gotten even close to being that drunk before, and I 0:09:09.640 --> 0:09:12.920 think it's time to like relive it. But like my luck, 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:16.600 I would accidentally fucking die, like I would accidentally like, oh, Diana, 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:17.679 I'll get too fucked up. 0:09:18.240 --> 0:09:24.160 If you want, Jay bro, I'll smoke you out, Tesla. 0:09:24.440 --> 0:09:27.400 We could do Edward forty hands, but just does I. 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:28.320 Have a forty tattoo? 0:09:29.920 --> 0:09:31.000 Yeah? He does. On his thought. 0:09:31.400 --> 0:09:33.440 Yeah, I gave it to myself when I was sixteen. 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:35.080 Are you serious? 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:37.760 Yeah? How have I never noticed that during our session? 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:39.719 I know That's what I'm saying, because you guys keep 0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:42.920 the lights on because you're both so scared of yourselves 0:09:42.920 --> 0:09:45.520 security and try to see my body and doesn't want 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:46.640 me to see his body. 0:09:47.080 --> 0:09:48.800 We both have the apple headsets on. 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:52.040 Yeah, real, dude, somebody is fully get a bone with 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:53.600 that ship on it. It's going to be It's. 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:54.360 Gonna be fucking me. 0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:00.520 Wait, that apple headset is going to be fucking you 0:10:00.640 --> 0:10:04.920 or you're gonna They should have added a flashlight extension 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:07.280 to it that you can plug USB C into it 0:10:07.360 --> 0:10:09.240 and it will pulsate with the video. 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:12.760 No, No, that already a thing. 0:10:14.200 --> 0:10:16.920 I talked to somebody recently who had an addiction to it. 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:19.120 Oh yeah, you were telling me about that. Yeah, it 0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:21.040 was like this guy that I know that was like 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:24.480 I hit rock bottom recently because I caught myself like 0:10:24.600 --> 0:10:27.880 fishing the dick Sucker machine and VR headset out of 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:30.040 a dumpster, like like he. 0:10:30.160 --> 0:10:32.040 Threw it away and then went out. 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:35.400 For it because he was like the post nut depression 0:10:35.920 --> 0:10:39.560 hits so different when right after you lean back and 0:10:39.600 --> 0:10:43.560 you're in like a player one, you like pull it 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:45.960 off and you're like covered and calm, And he was 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:48.560 just like, like, I noted, I asked it. Basically I 0:10:48.559 --> 0:10:50.480 was around him and I asked him like why he 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:53.680 had a Nokia phone and he was like, oh, like 0:10:53.720 --> 0:10:55.800 I hit rock Bottom recently. He told me this whole story, 0:10:55.840 --> 0:10:58.400 But he was basically like I got rid of like 0:10:58.440 --> 0:11:00.880 my computer, my iPhone, all this stuff because I like 0:11:01.200 --> 0:11:05.080 entered like this very dystopian period of my life. Like 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:08.480 there's porn that like syncs up like the dick Sucker 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:10.720 machine sinks up with the video and it uses AI. 0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:13.360 What's it called? What's it called? What's the machine? 0:11:13.520 --> 0:11:16.560 Actually, don't I don't have an affiliate link this episode 0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:20.640 for Machine Surprise. It's crazy. Men's rock Bottom is switching 0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:23.880 from the Apple universe to Nokia universe so you can 0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:27.640 have the perfect masturbation ploy, and Women's rock Bottom is 0:11:27.679 --> 0:11:32.880 writing every day in your journal with the strange delusion 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:34.800 that one day will be published after you die, and 0:11:34.840 --> 0:11:37.000 you think you're making the next bell Jar. I can 0:11:37.400 --> 0:11:39.720 that's the two rock Bottoms of the gender. 0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:41.560 I can fix them. I can fix them. No, bit. 0:11:41.679 --> 0:11:50.160 You're just you're probably more crazy than him. 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:52.600 I think that the neural and cuts some effect on 0:11:52.679 --> 0:11:53.120 his time. 0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:06.720 Wow, sorry, guys, it's near only custa buffer you come back. 0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:19.200 I can't feel my fucking legs, but it's okay. 0:12:19.400 --> 0:12:22.240 What effects of the neural is when you get super embarrassed, 0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:24.400 your legs give out so that you can distract to 0:12:24.520 --> 0:12:25.040 something else. 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:28.760 Girls rock Bottom, Oh my god, girl's rock bottom is 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:33.080 switching from Diva Cup to Taan PACs. 0:12:33.160 --> 0:12:38.960 Nice. Hell, yeah, that was good. I'm like, I haven't 0:12:38.960 --> 0:12:43.200 been hitting so long. That is true, it's been a minute. 0:12:44.280 --> 0:12:47.360 Okay. So I was on tick that hurt my hands 0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:47.760 so bad. 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:51.400 Also, remember that era where people like actually thought I 0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:53.160 was getting abused by my podcast. 0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:55.959 People were like, I don't know, it just feels weird. 0:12:56.200 --> 0:12:57.480 It's happened so often. 0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:00.440 And then there were comments like, but he likes it. 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:01.920 He says he likes it. 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:04.680 Guys, we don't know the full side of the story 0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:05.840 until he says something. 0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:06.880 It's nuanced. 0:13:06.880 --> 0:13:11.080 It's there's like they yeah, it it's different. Okay. So 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:14.480 I was on TikTok and I saw this slideshow. Oh 0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:19.439 my fucking god, and this girl posted saying a few 0:13:19.480 --> 0:13:23.040 days ago and HBO intern accidentally sent a mass blank 0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:27.319 email with a subject line integration test email number one 0:13:27.360 --> 0:13:29.920 two thousands of subscribers. Not that big of a deal, 0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:34.120 HBO tweeted out, saying, we mistakenly sent out an empty 0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:36.880 test email to a portion of our HBO Max mailing 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:40.480 list this evening. We apologize for the inconvenience, and as 0:13:40.559 --> 0:13:43.800 the jokes roll in, yes it was an in turn. 0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:48.880 No really, and we're helping them through it. Heard, and 0:13:48.920 --> 0:13:53.320 then people started responding with like horror stories that they 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:56.400 had when they were interns, and like they were just 0:13:56.920 --> 0:13:59.000 killing me today. So I wanted to read a few 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:04.560 to y'all because they're super funny. This person's response is, 0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:07.240 dear intern. When I was twenty five, I made a 0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:10.960 PDF assigning each employee to the muppet. They reminded me 0:14:11.000 --> 0:14:13.120 of the most. I meant to send it to my 0:14:13.200 --> 0:14:16.120 work friend, but I accidentally sent it to the entire company. 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:20.080 My supervisor, Beaker, wanted to fire me, but the owner's 0:14:20.160 --> 0:14:21.440 Burton Ernie intervened. 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:24.080 Also, what's fucked up? As Beaker is such a disc 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:26.880 but one of us when we were watching the Muppets, 0:14:26.960 --> 0:14:27.880 drew was like, I'm Beaker. 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:28.400 I'm Beaker. 0:14:28.440 --> 0:14:30.280 Like I'll be Beaker, and we were all like, yeah, 0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:32.160 you can be beaker. Bro Like, nobody wants to. 0:14:32.160 --> 0:14:36.680 Be fucking beakerker. 0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:37.640 Beaker doesn't speak at all. 0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:42.280 That's so me coded. I go back for Carrolink. Yeah, 0:14:42.400 --> 0:14:43.800 I'll let you read the next one. 0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:47.360 Dear intern, I was using my desktop. Oh why'd you 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:48.320 give me this one? 0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:48.720 Oh? 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:52.480 Wow, Okay, dear intern, I was using my desktop calendar 0:14:52.520 --> 0:14:54.120 to make a monthly note of when I started my 0:14:54.200 --> 0:14:57.920 menstrual period. Menstrual period, you didn't have to say period 0:14:57.960 --> 0:15:01.640 period when I started my mention stroll cycle. But after 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:04.760 several months, I realized I was making that note on 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:07.400 a calendar I shared with all of my colleagues company wide. 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:08.760 I was thirty seven years old. 0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:14.120 Mortifying, horrifying. This one is dear interur Oh, I don't 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:17.960 like this one. This one's my favorite one. Hashtag dear 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:21.000 intern me to the CEO of a large company. His 0:15:21.160 --> 0:15:23.600 name is Alan. I was thirty four. Then it's a 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:26.840 screenshot of an email from the guy and he says, 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:33.119 good morning, Anal. I'll let you read the last. 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:36.720 One, Dear intern. One time I sent an email on behalf? 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:39.520 Why are you flipping the camera off? I set on 0:15:39.560 --> 0:15:42.560 an email on behalf of the organization's board of directors 0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:44.280 with a link to a custom thank you video that 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:48.240 was meant to show appreciation. The link redirected to a 0:15:48.320 --> 0:15:51.480 lady in her pajama's a loudly reviewing hot Cheetos recipe fails. 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:54.560 I cried twice that day and that's all of them. 0:15:54.760 --> 0:15:58.040 Oh, this one's crazy. I was an intern out of 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:01.720 a podcast, and about a year into the podcast, I 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:05.200 realized that I had broken into their house a year 0:16:05.240 --> 0:16:09.240 prior and shaved my pubes in their house. And now 0:16:09.240 --> 0:16:12.400 it's weird because I work at the same podcast that 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:14.560 I don't. 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:18.720 Okay, you already stopped, and what you don't have? 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:26.560 You fucking hurt me? Kai, your fucking face hurt me. 0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:30.280 Now my hand hurts. 0:16:30.520 --> 0:16:31.280 It's crazy. 0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:36.960 Wow, it's tingling, it's tingling. Okay. Well, yeah, that was 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:42.240 boring as fuck. Sorry, y'all, Jesus Christ, I'm fucking boring. 0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:43.680 I'm so fucking boring. 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:47.040 Well, I decided Drew had his beard, Like why did 0:16:47.040 --> 0:16:50.040 we let Drew have that scary ass fucking beard for 0:16:50.080 --> 0:16:50.560 so long? 0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:50.760 Like? 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:53.520 No, I know, Yeah, when I see videos of you 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:56.600 with your scary beard, it actually is so fucking jarring, 0:16:56.920 --> 0:16:59.720 and it sometimes disrupts when I'm watching like an edit 0:16:59.760 --> 0:17:01.840 of something, and it's like a cute edit of like 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:04.280 us talking about being friends forever, and then I see 0:17:04.320 --> 0:17:06.760 a clip of that, I'm like, oh, whoa, Yeah, there 0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:09.000 is so much content of you with that nasty beard. 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:11.880 Yeah, it's just more of like a man thing, like 0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:16.480 people with vaginas just wouldn't get it, And it's more 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:18.960 of like like every winter I grew out my beard 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:19.679 to stay warm. 0:17:19.800 --> 0:17:22.920 Yeah, they were. I feel like I feel like people 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:24.840 with vaginas would get it. Personally. 0:17:26.240 --> 0:17:28.639 Are you insinuating that women grow out their bushes to 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:29.920 insulate their bodies? 0:17:30.080 --> 0:17:33.400 You Kai, Why would you say I'm saying that? Why 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:35.080 were you just saying that you want to have sex 0:17:35.080 --> 0:17:35.880 with your boss? 0:17:36.080 --> 0:17:39.560 I know it's so weird. Oh, dear dear intern. I 0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:42.520 got fired because I sexualized my boss. All my life 0:17:42.560 --> 0:17:43.679 sucks and I'm going to prison. 0:17:44.119 --> 0:17:50.359 What I was defending women, Drew said some misogynst and I'm. 0:17:50.240 --> 0:17:52.200 Going to small claims Core because she has a really 0:17:52.240 --> 0:17:54.399 decent case against me, because the audio is something I 0:17:54.440 --> 0:17:55.440 actually helped record. 0:17:55.520 --> 0:17:57.120 That's the last time I ever defended then. 0:17:57.000 --> 0:18:00.360 My am my lawyer was like, uh, well I can't 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:02.520 help you and I quit because you recorded the evidence. 0:18:02.560 --> 0:18:05.560 So there's no way to like, is this true? 0:18:06.000 --> 0:18:08.080 No, it's not, it's all it's a bit. She's doing 0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:08.320 a bit. 0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:11.960 Fast forward two years from now, Kin Newman in prison, 0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:18.879 in prison, Okay, So we didn't talk about it, or 0:18:18.920 --> 0:18:20.480 we might have briefly talked about it. 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:28.000 I don't Josiah being on what song was that song? 0:18:29.560 --> 0:18:35.640 What the hell? We don't talk anymore. No, Josiah being 0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:40.480 on Jason Nash was like a cultural cultural shift, which 0:18:40.720 --> 0:18:44.280 was amazing. Will insert the clip of the battle, like 0:18:44.320 --> 0:18:45.159 the end of the battle. 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:46.760 Is that your music? 0:18:47.600 --> 0:18:48.000 Yeah? 0:18:48.680 --> 0:18:49.560 Well, good job dude. 0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:51.280 Did you have a whole album you're making or just 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:52.560 a single or what do you have to do? 0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:53.720 What? 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:00.280 Yah? 0:19:04.080 --> 0:19:05.120 Now I'm passed off. 0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:16.840 I lost. 0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:22.399 Oh it's not as Yeah, I mean, you already won 0:19:22.480 --> 0:19:22.800 in life. 0:19:22.840 --> 0:19:32.240 You have a you have a which is so fucking funny. 0:19:32.840 --> 0:19:35.080 But I was scrolling on my feet today and I 0:19:35.160 --> 0:19:39.800