WEBVTT - ELIZABETH ST.HILAIRE 0:00:00.600 --> 0:00:09.360 Hi there, Come on in and make yourself at home. 0:00:10.200 --> 0:00:15.760 Welcome to this very special Valentine's episode of our podcast 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:21.919 Love Someone with the Lina. Every day on my radio program, 0:00:22.000 --> 0:00:27.120 I implore you, I encourage you. I beg you to 0:00:27.320 --> 0:00:31.680 love someone in a very real way, to reach out 0:00:31.920 --> 0:00:36.320 and give from your heart. And while an overwhelming number 0:00:36.360 --> 0:00:40.680 of colors to my show where those involved in romantic relationships, 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:45.400 or wanting to be in a romantic relationship, or crying 0:00:45.680 --> 0:00:49.360 from a failed romantic relationship, you all know by now 0:00:49.760 --> 0:00:54.360 that when I encourage you to love someone, not talking 0:00:54.440 --> 0:01:01.040 about romantic love, I mean everyone. I mean real love, 0:01:01.120 --> 0:01:05.319 A got a love, the kind of love that sacrifices, 0:01:05.480 --> 0:01:08.800 the kind of love that makes the world a better place. 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:12.559 I want you to love your parents, your siblings, even 0:01:12.600 --> 0:01:16.160 the difficult ones. To love even the ones that just 0:01:16.400 --> 0:01:20.080 are like fingernails on a chalkboard because they get on 0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:24.640 your very last nerve, your children, even when they're teenagers 0:01:24.680 --> 0:01:30.360 and difficult, your friends, members of your community. Love is 0:01:30.400 --> 0:01:35.000 all encompassing and we need it. We need it to 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:38.440 survive in a world that can sometimes feel very, very 0:01:38.520 --> 0:01:44.920 dark and oppressive. My Valentine Special podcast this year is 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:49.720 going to focus on the healing hearts, specifically the healing 0:01:50.240 --> 0:01:54.920 power of art. None of us can go through life 0:01:54.920 --> 0:02:01.440 without experiencing heartbreak and loss along the way, and like love, 0:02:01.600 --> 0:02:06.960 loss comes in many forms. The romantic break up is 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:09.440 the first form that comes to mind, but we've all 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:16.160 suffered substantial losses. We've lost beloved people, we've lost cherished pets, 0:02:16.200 --> 0:02:20.760 we've lost jobs, we've lost homes, we've lost belongings, we've 0:02:20.800 --> 0:02:28.360 lost our way, we've lost relationships, we've become empty nesters, 0:02:28.480 --> 0:02:31.680 or we've moved to new areas, leaving all that was 0:02:31.760 --> 0:02:37.120 familiar behind. Some of us are experiencing the loss of 0:02:37.160 --> 0:02:43.120 our youth, our health, the vitality we once had. Whatever 0:02:43.160 --> 0:02:46.120 the loss you or someone you love may be feeling, 0:02:47.120 --> 0:02:52.040 there are therapeutic activities out there that can help ease 0:02:52.200 --> 0:02:56.680 the pain just a little bit, just enough sometimes to 0:02:56.800 --> 0:03:00.200 let a ray of light, a ray of joy come 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:06.000 beaming through. Art is the therapy that we're exploring today. 0:03:06.160 --> 0:03:11.160 Art for the Heart. Art for the Heart with my 0:03:11.280 --> 0:03:16.240 now good friend Elizabeth, an artist who helped me at 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:19.520 a time in my life when I needed it the most. 0:03:20.320 --> 0:03:22.959 I'll introduce her to you right after this message from 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:27.760 my wonderful podcast sponsor the Home Depot. Our friends at 0:03:27.760 --> 0:03:30.680 the Home Depot helps so many people update their homes. 0:03:31.080 --> 0:03:34.320 It's an everyday activity in each of their stores. The 0:03:34.400 --> 0:03:38.360 paint department staff loves seeing someone in with a picture 0:03:38.640 --> 0:03:41.560 of a color of a wall they'd like to have 0:03:41.600 --> 0:03:44.720 in their own home. You know, the Home Depot now 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:49.080 has peel and stick samples made with real paint that 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:51.960 you can take home put on the walls in your home, 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:55.040 in the room that you're thinking of painting, so that 0:03:55.160 --> 0:03:57.960 you can get a feel if you really like that 0:03:58.040 --> 0:04:01.280 color in your home. How he's to use that the 0:04:01.360 --> 0:04:07.040 Home Depot where doers get more done. Our guest today 0:04:07.080 --> 0:04:12.360 is Elizabeth. Hello, Hello Elizabeth Saint Hilaire. So I was 0:04:12.640 --> 0:04:18.320 in a restaurant, uh two years ago, just a couple 0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:21.440 of weeks, maybe six weeks after we lost my son Zack, 0:04:21.880 --> 0:04:26.359 and I was in such a dark place that nothing. 0:04:27.560 --> 0:04:31.680 I couldn't feel anything like we were in love and Worth, Washington, 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:35.280 which is this magical little town covered in snow. It's 0:04:35.400 --> 0:04:38.800 little German chalets and it was probably i don't know, 0:04:38.880 --> 0:04:41.920 twenty degrees fifteen degrees out. I could have walked down 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:43.840 the street without a coat on. I could have walked 0:04:43.839 --> 0:04:48.400 down the street naked and not felt the cold. Wow. 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:52.440 I was just so shut down. And we were in 0:04:52.520 --> 0:04:55.479 this restaurant. Everybody was talking and everybody was carrying on. 0:04:56.040 --> 0:05:00.400 I couldn't engage in conversation. I couldn't think straight, I 0:05:00.440 --> 0:05:06.040 couldn't I couldn't follow a conversation. And I got up 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:09.239 and excused myself. And I was walking through the hall 0:05:09.400 --> 0:05:15.200 and I saw this rooster painting and he was so 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:23.600 happy and whimsical, fun, fun, and I don't know, for 0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:27.520 some reason that the colors and the textures and this 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:32.280 painting touched me like I could. I could actually feel 0:05:32.440 --> 0:05:36.240 something for the first time, I think since I heard 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:38.920 the news that Zach was gone. And so I took 0:05:38.920 --> 0:05:42.960 a picture of it. Wow. And then I tried to 0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:48.880 research it. I couldn't read your handwriting, but you ultimately 0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:53.520 found me. I ultimately found you because I googled. You know, 0:05:53.839 --> 0:05:59.599 it was a mixed media um painting, So I googled. 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:03.799 I couldn't read your name, so I I googled mixed 0:06:04.240 --> 0:06:09.159 media torn paper rooster or something like that, and it 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:11.800 came up, and it came up. See, it was meant 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:13.400 to be. It was meant to be. It was meant 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:19.880 to be. And then I stalked you. That is a 0:06:19.920 --> 0:06:23.559 funny story. I really did well in the beginning because 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:25.760 I just wanted to learn your style. I wanted to 0:06:25.800 --> 0:06:30.599 I mean, it was mesmerizing, it so beautiful, and I 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:32.599 think I went in your junk folder and I'm like, no, no, 0:06:32.720 --> 0:06:35.320 this woman is going to answer me because I want 0:06:35.360 --> 0:06:38.960 to know what you do. Like I it was its 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:46.240 layers and textures and colors and magical your style. And 0:06:46.320 --> 0:06:48.400 when you got back to me, you mentioned that you 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:54.000 had tutorials and some books, some books, and then I 0:06:54.000 --> 0:06:57.200 teach on I teach workshops. So once I connected with 0:06:57.240 --> 0:06:59.640 you and I found out you had workshops and tutorials 0:06:59.640 --> 0:07:04.600 and book, I became a student and I found I 0:07:04.640 --> 0:07:06.719 don't know if you remember doing this, but I found 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:11.239 an old news real story of you when your kids 0:07:11.240 --> 0:07:15.840 were running around the house, fascinating news story about you, 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:18.640 and I'm like, I don't know, I just oh my god, 0:07:18.800 --> 0:07:23.640 I loved this woman. That news story that that was 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:27.960 from Growing Bolder, which was a local UM production UM 0:07:28.040 --> 0:07:30.720 And and I don't even remember how I got the 0:07:30.760 --> 0:07:33.760 opportunity to do that news story. But that news story 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:37.120 really brought me into put me in front of a 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:39.680 lot of people. It really gave me good exposure. And 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:43.520 it wasn't something I was necessarily expecting. But um, but 0:07:43.600 --> 0:07:45.960 it but it was great. I loved it because you 0:07:46.000 --> 0:07:49.200 were so real. You were so ethnic. You know, it 0:07:49.280 --> 0:07:53.480 wasn't like you were posing for the camera or like 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:56.720 anything was contrived. It was just so real and anthnic, 0:07:56.800 --> 0:07:59.200 and your heart came shining through. Yeah, they came to 0:07:59.240 --> 0:08:01.480 my house with cameras and I was like, you know, 0:08:02.040 --> 0:08:04.160 it was it was a little intimidating, you know, but 0:08:04.160 --> 0:08:07.280 but um but they were great and and I'm still 0:08:07.280 --> 0:08:09.960 friends with them to this day. I still talk to 0:08:10.200 --> 0:08:13.320 the guys that run the show and we we what's 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:15.520 the name of the show. It's called Growing Bolder and 0:08:15.520 --> 0:08:19.280 it's on PBS stations nationwide. Very cool. Well that was 0:08:19.400 --> 0:08:21.960 I watched that and I went, I don't just want 0:08:22.000 --> 0:08:24.320 to learn from this person. I want to know this 0:08:24.400 --> 0:08:26.760 person that made me want to get to know you. 0:08:27.240 --> 0:08:30.520 But I really want people to to know your work, 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:33.960 and to not just know your work, because there's a 0:08:33.960 --> 0:08:37.679 lot of artists I love. I love real art, I 0:08:37.720 --> 0:08:42.880 know you do. I love public art. I love going 0:08:42.920 --> 0:08:46.840 to Philadelphia. They've had a campaign the last ten fifteen 0:08:46.920 --> 0:08:51.560 years to uh renovate old buildings and that sort of 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:55.400 thing with public art. And it's beautiful and it's powerful, 0:08:55.440 --> 0:08:59.720 and it's meaningful and it's heartfelt and its kids, and 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:03.600 you know, I love. There's a local art project in 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:06.680 a community close to where I live, where you've taught, 0:09:07.080 --> 0:09:10.679 and there's birds, seagulls that have been cut out of 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:15.280 some material and decorated by grade school kids and they're 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:18.880 along a fence, uh, you know, and and it's an 0:09:18.960 --> 0:09:21.520 ugly fence, you know, just a metal, ugly fence. But 0:09:21.640 --> 0:09:24.559 it's beautiful now with this flock of birds and each one, 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:27.880 I mean I've taken pictures of each individual bird because 0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:31.480 the kids, their expression is so beautiful and how amazing 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:33.800 is it for those kids to have been part of 0:09:33.840 --> 0:09:36.760 that project with that level of permanency and they get 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:40.480 to go buy it and say I did that. That's 0:09:40.559 --> 0:09:42.559 my bird, that blue bird is mine, right, I mean, 0:09:42.600 --> 0:09:45.880 that's incredible. So it wasn't just that I wanted people 0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:49.280 to know you as an artist. I want people to 0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:51.240 and the and the reason I wanted you to be 0:09:51.520 --> 0:09:54.480 on this podcast that that we're calling art for the 0:09:54.600 --> 0:09:58.679 Heart is because I want people to know you and 0:09:58.840 --> 0:10:04.800 your passion for encouraging people to tap deep inside themselves 0:10:05.160 --> 0:10:09.760 and express themselves artistically. Well, it's interesting that that you 0:10:09.800 --> 0:10:12.960 say that, because I think the most common comment that 0:10:13.040 --> 0:10:16.520 I get from people is you've inspired me. You've inspired 0:10:16.559 --> 0:10:19.400 me to come back to art, You've inspired me to 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:23.400 try and mix media, You've inspired me you know, fill 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:27.160 in the blank, right, And I think that I think 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:29.920 that's the best part of my job really is to 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:32.800 know that I'm inspiring other people in art. I think 0:10:32.840 --> 0:10:36.280 that's better than me making a masterpiece. It's better than 0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:39.560 a lot of things because it's such a gift to 0:10:39.600 --> 0:10:42.760 be able to give artistic inspiration to someone else. And 0:10:43.000 --> 0:10:46.240 when people tell me your class changed my life, and 0:10:46.240 --> 0:10:48.400 I mean sometimes people really tell me that because it 0:10:48.559 --> 0:10:52.120 helped them get to a better place with art. When 0:10:52.160 --> 0:10:54.280 they say that to me, your class changed my life, 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:58.520 I mean that's huge. That's a wonderful thing to be 0:10:58.600 --> 0:11:03.160 able to give someone else. So well, let me be 0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:05.559 one of the many to say your class change my life. 0:11:06.440 --> 0:11:09.400 And like I said, I was in such a dark place, 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:14.160 such a sad place, that I couldn't see, I couldn't feel. 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:17.600 I couldn't I couldn't watch a movie. I couldn't read 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:21.079 a book. I couldn't I couldn't take my own phone 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:24.680 calls for my own show some nights, because if people 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:27.840 called and they were grieving like I was, I'd just 0:11:27.880 --> 0:11:30.640 be a puddle on the floor. And if people called 0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:36.120 with some trite, ridiculous, petty problem, you know, saying I've 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:38.719 got this big dilemma, you know, and I'm like, you've 0:11:38.760 --> 0:11:44.000 got a dilemma. And so it was very such a 0:11:44.120 --> 0:11:48.800 hard thing to work through. And I had a great 0:11:48.840 --> 0:11:51.839 support system. I mean, you've met my family, now my kids, 0:11:51.840 --> 0:11:54.600 you met my husband had a great support system, and 0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:59.200 a friend named Debbie Macomer was a local author, very 0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:03.600 famous author, happens to be my neighbor. She encouraged me 0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:06.360 to find a grief counselor. But even with all that 0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:12.560 support and place, I was numb. And meeting you and 0:12:12.840 --> 0:12:16.800 discovering this this new form of art which is so 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:21.560 whimsical and so fun. Uh allowed me to kind of 0:12:22.040 --> 0:12:26.640 unlock that passion for art that I've always had in 0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:29.640 a new way, in a creative way, and allowed me 0:12:29.720 --> 0:12:33.440 to create some works of art, one in particular that 0:12:33.559 --> 0:12:36.480 really helped me work through having to say goodbye to 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:41.880 my son. Yeah. You know, no one can ever say 0:12:41.920 --> 0:12:43.679 that they know how you feel, right, but I am 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:46.040 a mother, Um, I have a twenty year old son. 0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:50.520 And you know, my experience with using art to process 0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:52.560 grief was that when I was in college. I spent 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:55.200 a semester in college in that was the year that 0:12:55.320 --> 0:12:58.600 Libya bombed pan Am Flight one oh three, and I 0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:01.640 lost all of my mates, as well as thirty five 0:13:01.720 --> 0:13:05.120 Syracuse University students. We were all studying abroad, so very 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:08.160 many classmates that I had known since my freshman year 0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:10.920 and people that I lived with. And I'm your best 0:13:10.920 --> 0:13:14.400 friend and my best friend, and I was twenty So 0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:16.800 do you how do you even begin to process that 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:21.920 kind of loss? I used my art and I painted, uh, paintings, 0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:25.360 but they were dark and dreary, and they were they 0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:28.360 were me processing, you know, going through the stages of brievement. 0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:32.719 But they they You've used words like colorful and whimsical 0:13:32.800 --> 0:13:34.920 and happy to describe my art just now, and I'll 0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:36.600 tell you that the art that I was creating then 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:39.400 was none of those things. None of those things, and 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:42.480 I had a professor at Syracuse that I stayed in 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:44.640 touch with, and he said to me, I'll be interested 0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:47.600 to see what you create when you get through this, 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:49.760 when you come out the other side of this. And uh, 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:51.360 it took me a long time. It took me ten 0:13:51.480 --> 0:13:56.439 years to create anything that was happy and colorful and whimsical. 0:13:56.600 --> 0:13:59.480 Was a long, long process, probably because I was so 0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:03.280 young and was it was a huge scale. At that age, 0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:05.679 you think you're you're immortal, and you realize all of 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:07.839 a sudden that you're not, and you're not. Yeah, it 0:14:08.440 --> 0:14:10.840 closed the curtain on my childhood. Basically, it was the 0:14:10.960 --> 0:14:14.079 end of innocence. It changed everything, and I still think 0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:17.640 about it all the time. So you work through your 0:14:17.720 --> 0:14:22.000 grief through your artwork. And you are a professional artist. 0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:25.880 You're a fine artist. You've done commercial art, you teach art, 0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:28.720 you write books about art, you do videos about art. 0:14:29.360 --> 0:14:33.120 And for for me, meeting you and becoming friends with 0:14:33.160 --> 0:14:36.840 you and buying your books and studying your style was 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:40.640 a lot. Less about studying your style, because I think 0:14:40.680 --> 0:14:43.400 everybody who loves art has their own style or our 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:50.040 own gift, and more about being open to being open right, 0:14:51.280 --> 0:14:55.320 being open to just trying something new and finding a 0:14:55.360 --> 0:15:01.000 way to express myself and get it out there. Yeah, 0:15:01.040 --> 0:15:03.320 being open to trying something new is is awesome because 0:15:03.360 --> 0:15:05.840 I I often stress in my in my workshops when 0:15:05.880 --> 0:15:08.800 I'm working with students, it's it's more about the process 0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:11.800 than the product, you know, because when you do something new, 0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:13.520 you're not going to be great at it. And when 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:15.640 you do something in a classroom setting, you're not going 0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:17.840 to make the best art you ever made in your life. 0:15:17.880 --> 0:15:20.680 But you're going to go through the process. You're gonna learn, 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:23.160 you're gonna be with other people, and you're going to 0:15:23.280 --> 0:15:26.840 work through interesting and different ideas. And when you're open 0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:31.160 to that, you can you can receive a lot of 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:35.880 wonderful things that that you may then run with and refine. 0:15:37.120 --> 0:15:39.480 We were talking over lunch about the fact that if 0:15:39.560 --> 0:15:43.160 you ask a room full of kindergarten students or first 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:46.240 grade students how many of you are artists, they'll all 0:15:46.320 --> 0:15:49.160 raise their hands absolutely. If you give them three color 0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:51.560 crowns and a piece of paper, they will all create 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:57.120 amazing artwork. And then by about seventh or eighth grade, 0:15:57.160 --> 0:16:00.800 if you ask the exact same classroom of kids, who 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:04.120 here is an artist? What maybe four or five raised 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:07.080 their hand. Many much fewer, and then by high school 0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:12.560 you might get one maybe two because they lose that joy, 0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:17.000 as you said, for the process, and they focus on 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:19.600 the product. Yeah, they focus on the product, and they 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:22.480 and they start comparing themselves to each other and saying, well, well, 0:16:22.520 --> 0:16:24.600 your stuff is much better than mine, so I'm no 0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:27.480 good at this, where they used to not not say 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:30.240 that at all. And now I volunteered for many years 0:16:30.280 --> 0:16:34.320 in elementary school, from kindergarten all the way through fifth grade. Um, well, 0:16:34.400 --> 0:16:36.160 my kids were in school, and then even after they 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:38.280 went on to middle school, I stayed and volunteered in 0:16:38.320 --> 0:16:42.040 the PTA art program. So I've seen this firsthand. And Um, 0:16:42.080 --> 0:16:44.640 in the you're absolutely right. When I would go into kindergarten, 0:16:44.680 --> 0:16:46.920 everyone would all the kids would be like yeah, they'd 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:48.800 see me coming and they would just be like yeah, 0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:52.560 yeah art. Yeah. And then um, definitely, even in the 0:16:52.600 --> 0:16:54.760 fifth grade, there were some that were like, oh, I'm 0:16:54.760 --> 0:16:56.720 no good at that. I'm no good at that. Isn't 0:16:56.760 --> 0:16:59.120 that sad? It is sad because because they're at that 0:16:59.160 --> 0:17:01.680 age where they're comping, hearing what they create with the 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:04.800 person next to them. Um, and I guess we're all 0:17:04.840 --> 0:17:07.320 guilty of that. And I know, you know, when kids 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:09.360 get into middle school, they all want to just they 0:17:09.359 --> 0:17:10.880 all just want to look the same and they don't 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:12.880 want to be different. I can remember my daughter in 0:17:12.880 --> 0:17:16.560 in elementary school had the most flamboyant outfits. I don't 0:17:16.560 --> 0:17:18.840 know where she got that from. And then when she 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:21.960 felt clue, Elizabeth Nunne as, I'm looking at you and 0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:26.080 your rose pattern bright red and pink and printed in 0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:30.320 the sparkly outfit. You gotta love sparkly. I love sparkly, 0:17:30.400 --> 0:17:33.680 not as much as you love. But but but when 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:37.480 when Emily was in middle school, she wore the exact 0:17:37.560 --> 0:17:40.320 same outfit as all the other girls wore. And I'm 0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:43.800 talking about right down to the shoes, the brand jeans. 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:46.280 You know this. You've got girls. I've got girls they 0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:47.960 just want to you know, they be just there was 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:50.159 just they wanted to look just like everyone else and 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:53.960 be just like everyone else. And when you're striving for that, um, 0:17:53.960 --> 0:17:57.840 doing anything that that kind of is individual is not 0:17:57.880 --> 0:18:00.080 what you want to do. So you're not going to 0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:02.520 be an artist. You're gonna be So how old was 0:18:02.560 --> 0:18:04.760 your daughter when she broke out of that because she 0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:08.720 is clearly you left that far behind. She's a dancer. 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:12.080 She's a dancer, and she has a shaved head, and 0:18:12.680 --> 0:18:17.560 she dresses kind of real funky and amazing style. You 0:18:17.640 --> 0:18:20.520 sent me a video of her dancing. Oh my gosh, 0:18:20.560 --> 0:18:23.760 she's amazing. Yeah, she's super talented. She works really hard 0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:29.360 at it. She's so talented. Her moves are like like 0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:34.480 water that's been electrified. They're fluid and yet they're so 0:18:34.560 --> 0:18:39.760 electric and energized. That's a great description. Yeah. Yeah, she 0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:42.720 high school, high school. Um, probably not the first year 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:44.440 of high school. Probably the second and third year of 0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:47.200 high school. She just she can't. And I can remember thinking, Wow, 0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:50.080 I'm so glad that she's back to her individual self, 0:18:50.160 --> 0:18:53.760 that she's she's back to not really you know, measuring 0:18:53.880 --> 0:18:57.000 up to others, that she's actually just doing what she wants, 0:18:57.000 --> 0:18:59.240 what feels good to her, and what is her own 0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:02.160 personal self expression. And I think dance helped a lot 0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:04.480 with that. But yeah, I would say it was probably 0:19:04.520 --> 0:19:06.399 the second year of high school that she came back 0:19:06.440 --> 0:19:10.639 to her her individual sense of style. And it takes 0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:13.199 some people a lot longer than that, it does. I 0:19:13.200 --> 0:19:15.960 think a lot of it's about confidence. You know. Um, 0:19:16.080 --> 0:19:17.879 I have a lot of women in my workshops that 0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:21.159 come to me and say, I love your style, I 0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:23.760 love your shoes, I love your clothing, I love your 0:19:24.040 --> 0:19:26.480 hair color. And then they I say thank you, and 0:19:26.520 --> 0:19:28.959 then they follow up by I I just couldn't do that. 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:31.840 I could never do that. And I say why, you know? 0:19:32.160 --> 0:19:33.600 And and these are not people who are in the 0:19:33.640 --> 0:19:37.320 workforce whose employer is limiting what they look like, it's 0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:40.119 their own self confidence. They say, well, I'm just not 0:19:40.160 --> 0:19:43.000 confident enough. And uh, you know, I don't know. I 0:19:43.040 --> 0:19:45.920 used to be that person. I did, but I guess 0:19:45.960 --> 0:19:49.520 with confidence comes a little bit more willingness to be uh, 0:19:49.600 --> 0:19:52.439 to stick out. You know, he'll be a little ledgier. Yeah, yeah, 0:19:52.480 --> 0:19:54.640 I mean you're gonna draw attention. I had a guy 0:19:54.640 --> 0:19:56.520 in Costco tell me that I was too old for 0:19:56.640 --> 0:20:01.720 my look. Really yeah wow. I was in line at 0:20:01.760 --> 0:20:03.560 Costco and he looked at me and he goes, don't 0:20:03.560 --> 0:20:05.040 you think you're too old for that? And I looked 0:20:05.040 --> 0:20:06.399 at him. I knew what he was talking about, but 0:20:06.480 --> 0:20:09.159 I go, what what are you talking about? And he 0:20:09.520 --> 0:20:11.679 made the circle like this like your whole like your 0:20:11.680 --> 0:20:16.040 whole self like that and you know I could have 0:20:16.040 --> 0:20:20.040 been was the pink shoes were wearing was one of 0:20:20.080 --> 0:20:22.639 my best It was one of my better get ups. Yeah, 0:20:23.000 --> 0:20:25.240 and I just and I've got a nose piercing and 0:20:25.280 --> 0:20:28.240 great big huge earrings and and so I just looked 0:20:28.240 --> 0:20:30.720 at him and I was like knowing flaming red hair, 0:20:30.960 --> 0:20:36.720 flaming red hair, beautiful tortoise shellish reddish glasses that are 0:20:36.880 --> 0:20:39.600 the exact same shade as the hair as the hair, 0:20:40.040 --> 0:20:43.640 which is work hard at that, which is amazing. But 0:20:43.760 --> 0:20:45.879 you know, I mean, I don't let stuff like that 0:20:45.920 --> 0:20:48.400 bother me. And I know that that's easier said than done. 0:20:48.520 --> 0:20:51.680 But but it's been a whole lifelong process. I actually 0:20:51.800 --> 0:20:54.040 like it when people say things like that to me. 0:20:54.080 --> 0:20:57.320 I love it because it's great material when I'm doing 0:20:57.359 --> 0:21:00.399 public speaking or when I'm on the air. Let's talk 0:21:00.440 --> 0:21:03.440 about that some more right after we break for this 0:21:03.600 --> 0:21:08.720 important message. But I love that you're not a conformist. No, 0:21:09.000 --> 0:21:11.679 And it never was. And and we had this We 0:21:11.720 --> 0:21:15.639 have this vegan restaurant in Orlando where I raised my kids, 0:21:16.000 --> 0:21:19.720 and all the staff there had tattoos and piercings and 0:21:19.720 --> 0:21:23.360 blue hair and crazy clothing and it was a vegan restaurant, right, 0:21:23.520 --> 0:21:25.080 and I took my kids there a lot, and I 0:21:25.119 --> 0:21:27.840 always used to say to them, you know, I want 0:21:27.880 --> 0:21:30.840 you to know that you can't judge someone by what 0:21:30.880 --> 0:21:32.840 they look like. You should never judge someone by what 0:21:32.880 --> 0:21:34.960 they look like. You know, because this staff at this place, 0:21:35.000 --> 0:21:39.760 we're amazing, awesome, wonderful people, you know. And uh, if 0:21:39.800 --> 0:21:41.800 I taught my kids one thing, it was that you 0:21:41.840 --> 0:21:44.239 can't judge people. You shouldn't judge people by what they 0:21:44.280 --> 0:21:46.640 look like. Not only that, but you should encourage them 0:21:46.680 --> 0:21:49.840 to look like whatever they want to look like. Yeah. Yeah, 0:21:50.000 --> 0:21:52.840 so you've been in my house, you've met my kids. 0:21:52.880 --> 0:21:55.800 You know that I very much encouraged them to be 0:21:56.040 --> 0:22:01.159 self expressive. And you know, whatever, whatever people are like, 0:22:01.200 --> 0:22:03.200 you're you're going to let her wear her hair like that. 0:22:03.359 --> 0:22:08.760 She's got purple hair? Why not? Uh? Yeah, it's fun. 0:22:09.760 --> 0:22:12.800 If I could get away with wearing purple hair, I would, Well, 0:22:12.960 --> 0:22:14.680 you wouldn't look as good on me as it does 0:22:14.680 --> 0:22:19.119 on Blessing. Let's be honest with that dark ebony skin 0:22:19.320 --> 0:22:25.720 and purple yeah, so beautiful. So if somebody Elizabeth wants 0:22:25.880 --> 0:22:30.879 to find a way to express themselves and they're like 0:22:30.920 --> 0:22:33.040 Mike Kimmy that you've met who says I can't draw. 0:22:33.480 --> 0:22:38.600 I'm not talented, I have no talent. I think, Um, 0:22:38.800 --> 0:22:41.639 sometimes it's hard to encourage people like that. But but 0:22:41.720 --> 0:22:43.919 you were so encouraging to Kimmy, and you brought her 0:22:43.920 --> 0:22:47.439 to the workshop, and I dragged her and kicking and 0:22:47.480 --> 0:22:51.440 screaming to the workshop. And now look at her. Oh yeah, 0:22:51.480 --> 0:22:53.719 now she's an art machine. But I taught her a 0:22:53.720 --> 0:22:55.760 technique so that she could get past the fact that 0:22:55.800 --> 0:22:57.920 she felt like she couldn't draw. And that was the 0:22:57.960 --> 0:23:02.840 graphite transfer paper. So she out of photograph and basically, uh, 0:23:03.359 --> 0:23:05.800 you know, like the old carbon paper traced it through 0:23:05.880 --> 0:23:09.440 so you get the graphite transfer. And that gave her 0:23:09.480 --> 0:23:13.080 a proportional drawing that allowed her to feel good about 0:23:13.200 --> 0:23:15.359 where she started. And then she painted it in and 0:23:15.400 --> 0:23:17.199 made the closed paper and glue that on top and 0:23:17.240 --> 0:23:19.439 it and took it in a whole different direction. But 0:23:19.480 --> 0:23:22.439 at least from the beginning she had a drawing on 0:23:22.560 --> 0:23:25.280 her on her surface that she felt good about. So 0:23:25.359 --> 0:23:28.639 she was starting from a good place. And obviously it 0:23:28.720 --> 0:23:31.679 made her happy because she's making more art than you 0:23:31.720 --> 0:23:34.600 and me lately. Not only did it make her happy. 0:23:34.640 --> 0:23:36.560 Do you know what her kids got her for Christmas? 0:23:36.640 --> 0:23:40.440 Art supplies, not just an art supply, a desk, an 0:23:40.560 --> 0:23:43.760