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Speaker 1: All right, welcome to another special episode, a bonus episode

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Speaker 1: of Busting with the Boys. We have Mother's Day weekend

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Speaker 1: ahead of us. First of all, Happy Mother's Day. Shout

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Speaker 1: out to all the wonderful mothers out there. For this

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Speaker 1: special episode, I have my wife, Charle Coompton on the

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Speaker 1: backbone of our family the MVP. My wife is a badass.

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Speaker 1: I thought it'd be fun to have her on. We've

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Speaker 1: been wanting to do this podcast for a while to

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Speaker 1: kind of talk about the fertility journey our second child, Scottie.

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Speaker 1: She went through IVF and everything else and it feels

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Speaker 1: very taboo to talk about IVF, and we thought it'd

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Speaker 1: be fun. I had the dragger get her on the bus.

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Speaker 1: I know we're both nervous about doing this episode. We

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Speaker 1: got our boy Mitch in the back swinging the camera,

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Speaker 1: so Mitchie will be talking to you a lot. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: my wife again a badass. She is a business owner.

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Speaker 1: She owns the Bar three studios here in local Nashville.

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Speaker 1: So if you're somebody in the fitness you want to

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Speaker 1: sweat a little bit, my wife runs the Bar three

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Speaker 1: studios here, so she's a business owner. She is a

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Speaker 1: full time mother of course. We have two beautiful girls,

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Speaker 1: Cerulian Bell and Scotti Jolie Rue. She is three years

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Speaker 1: old currently, Scottie, she is going on on six months,

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Speaker 1: and we thought this episode would be fun, would be important.

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Speaker 1: I thought it'd be cool to highlight my wife and

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Speaker 1: her the IVF journey that we you went through, because

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Speaker 1: I know there are a lot of couples out there

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Speaker 1: that kind of struggle in silence. I know there are

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Speaker 1: a lot of women that love to gravitate towards podcasts

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Speaker 1: and listen to other women on other shows kind of

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Speaker 1: talk about the journey, and even men out there, like

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Speaker 1: you know, I know women go through the brunt and everything,

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Speaker 1: but trying to be a supportive dad, trying to be

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Speaker 1: a supportive husband, I know there's lonely feelings of time

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Speaker 1: and struggles that everybody kind of has in the process.

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Speaker 1: So this episode is a lot different. Not a lot

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Speaker 1: of football talk, not a lot of ball talk. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: did I miss anything in that introduction?

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Speaker 2: I don't think so. Think you covered it. That was great.

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Speaker 1: Why for you do you feel like this episode would

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Speaker 1: be important for women, because I know gravitating towards pods

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Speaker 1: was something that was gravitating towards pods was something that

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Speaker 1: you kind of did in the IVF process.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly when I was kind of the height of everything.

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Speaker 2: And we'll talk more about this later. I feel like

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Speaker 2: a lot, but I was just so in my head

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Speaker 2: about all of it. I had so many questions and

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Speaker 2: I really just wanted to understand what was about to

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Speaker 2: happen and what we were choosing in this whole thing.

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Speaker 2: And I really turned to podcasts to listen to to

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Speaker 2: make me feel less lonely. And it's just so interesting

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Speaker 2: because I didn't really know a lot about IVF and

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Speaker 2: infertility until it started happening to me. And I do

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Speaker 2: find that that is probably similar for most people who

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Speaker 2: have not gone through it or about to go through it.

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Speaker 2: It's like you just don't know what you don't know.

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Speaker 2: So listening to conversations and people's real experiences, not only

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Speaker 2: do they give you information and they also make you

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Speaker 2: feel less alone, but they also kind of provide a

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Speaker 2: lot of hope. So maybe this podcast is falling for

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Speaker 2: someone right now at a place or a time where

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Speaker 2: they need hope in going through the journey, because it

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Speaker 2: can be a long one, it can be a hard one. Yeah, mumped. Yeah, thanks, baby.

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Speaker 1: Let's brief people on our fertility process thus far, like

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Speaker 1: becoming parents, like Rue, she was dialed in Honeymoon Baby.

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Speaker 1: Your boy was out there hitting a homer right out

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Speaker 1: of the gate. We had Rue easy. The pregnancy, the delivery.

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Speaker 1: I know, I've talked about it on whenever Ru was

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Speaker 1: born and I became a dad like you, having to

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Speaker 1: go through forty plus hours of labor, having a birth plan,

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Speaker 1: all of it, basically going to shit, not wanting what's

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Speaker 1: the the epidural? You ended up having to get in

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Speaker 1: three EPI durals. On the second one they miss.

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Speaker 2: The first one.

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Speaker 1: I'm snoozing on the couch during one we had our

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Speaker 1: duel with us. I'm snooze on the couch and kind

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Speaker 1: of wake up. You were screaming and yelling. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: what happened? I thought we had the epidural. We were

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Speaker 1: gonna fall asleep. We're gonna kind of take a nap.

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Speaker 2: It's so fun then to look back, y'all.

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Speaker 1: Now, Yeah, when you we're at what like you were

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Speaker 1: dilated like four?

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Speaker 2: No, I mean I never really got past six. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: six or seven. That was the farthest I got after

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Speaker 2: like forty six hours.

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Speaker 1: So and eventually, yeah, eventually we had a section a

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Speaker 1: forty something hours.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, like little recap of Ru's birth or

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Speaker 2: Ru's pregnancy. I feel like it was yeah, really quick, easy,

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Speaker 2: like honeymoon again. Like I think we both went into

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Speaker 2: it like this could take a while and lo and behold,

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Speaker 2: it took no time at all. So like that's like

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Speaker 2: we're just so lucky. And then the pregnancy was a

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Speaker 2: lot because I guess this is important too for like

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Speaker 2: the infertility, like talk like during my first pregnancy, I

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Speaker 2: had this cyst and it was a benign cyst and

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Speaker 2: I've had it since I was born. It's called a dermoid,

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Speaker 2: but it essentially grew and got kind of twisted around

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Speaker 2: my Filippian two is my ovary during my pregnancy because

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Speaker 2: like everything's changing around in there. So right at about

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Speaker 2: twelve or thirteen weeks, I started having this really terrible

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Speaker 2: pain and I would just be like buckled over and

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Speaker 2: I like couldn't breathe and move, and I was like

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Speaker 2: are you good, Like no, I'm not, okay, would act

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Speaker 2: and he's like down playing my pain, and I'm.

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Speaker 1: Like okay, Maybe I would be like starting to clean

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Speaker 1: up the house, to do the dishes, and all of

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Speaker 1: a sudden, she wants to get sideline. Let's get you

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Speaker 1: to the couch. And I'm thinking to myself, like.

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Speaker 2: Are you likely have very low tolerance for pain? Like

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Speaker 2: I do? I'm going to say that from the beginning. So,

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Speaker 2: but it's really hurt a lot. And I actually texted

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Speaker 2: my friends about I'm like, is this normal? Like what

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Speaker 2: is this?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 2: Oh, maybe it's a realm ligament pain. It's gonna be gas.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, we might have some TMI moments in

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Speaker 2: this podcast and that's cool, right, yeah, yeah, But I'm

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Speaker 2: like I don't really think it's either of those things.

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Speaker 2: So I ended up going in for my second, like

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Speaker 2: one of my scheduled appointments anyway, and she's like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you have as cyst. It's wrapped. I would suggest surgery,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh my gosh. We I've literally never

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Speaker 2: had surgery in my whole life. So we kind of

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Speaker 2: weigh our options. She's like, you could just let it

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Speaker 2: grow and let it be there. It would continue to

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Speaker 2: cause you pain. It could potentially result in torsion, which

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Speaker 2: is like when it gets like even more wrapped and

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Speaker 2: causes like a rupture of the ovary and like that's

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Speaker 2: even worse. That's like, you know, an emerchant surgery. So

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Speaker 2: Will and I like went home or like should we

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Speaker 2: have the surgery like while roue or sorry while our

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Speaker 2: baby is like in there? And you had an opportunity

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Speaker 2: to go play for the Falcons.

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Speaker 1: That was when yeah, no, no, this Rue was born

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Speaker 1: in April.

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Speaker 2: He went to Atlanta and they but this is this

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Speaker 2: is October September of twenty twenty one, and you kind

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Speaker 2: of decline Authur's Arthur's ask to come play, right, You're like,

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Speaker 2: I'll come next week because my my wife's gonna have

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Speaker 2: the surgery. Remember that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah that was Atlanta. Yeah that was that year. Yeah, yeah, Atlanta.

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Speaker 2: And then end up not working out Atlanta because that was.

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Speaker 1: And then I ended up going to Vegas that year

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Speaker 1: because you're pregnant with Rue when I was in Vegas,

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Speaker 1: that's right, yeah right, I had to push off that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because you're like, I think I really need to

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Speaker 2: be home for my wife for the surgery.

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Speaker 1: She's gonna have, because they were like you got to

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Speaker 1: be bedside for a certain a mount.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So they end up doing this laparscopic surgery and

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Speaker 2: laparscopic is when they like go in like two little

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Speaker 2: tiny ones as like cameras and one bigger one to

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Speaker 2: like remove the cyst. And they ended up having to

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Speaker 2: take out my cyst and my ovary in my philippia tube. So,

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Speaker 2: you know, when I emerge from surgery and I'm like

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Speaker 2: so groggy, and they kind of gave them the update,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh my gosh, will this affect my

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Speaker 2: ability to get pregnant in the future, And right away

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Speaker 2: her answer was no, So like I didn't think anything

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Speaker 2: of it because you know, she was like no, She's like,

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Speaker 2: this ovary probably hasn't been working for a long time anyway,

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Speaker 2: so you're gonna be great. You're fine, And so I'm like, okay, great,

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Speaker 2: love that answer for me obviously, like you know, knowing

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Speaker 2: what I know now, like it's just I guess it's

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Speaker 2: kind of fifty to fifty shot, like both ovaries firing equally.

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Speaker 2: But even when it comes to like the retrievals and

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Speaker 2: all the things with IBF, like the more you get,

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Speaker 2: the more eggs you get, like the better chances you

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Speaker 2: are because there's so much attrition. So anyway, it clearly

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Speaker 2: affected our ability to get pregnant, in addition to like

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Speaker 2: tons of other things. But that was like during my

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Speaker 2: first pregnancy, I had this surgery at fifteen weeks. The

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Speaker 2: baby was fine, but I, like, you know, was pretty immobile,

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Speaker 2: couldn't It was like recovery. It was really like a

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Speaker 2: week or two. But then I had that terrible what

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Speaker 2: was it? It was like a UTI that sent me

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Speaker 2: to the er and you also weren't there, shout out

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Speaker 2: Dobson's wife.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that was when I was out of town. She

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Speaker 1: like couldn't walk.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was really bad.

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Speaker 1: It was I'm out of town doing something for bus,

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Speaker 1: and I remember hitting up Dobson like, hey, bro, like,

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Speaker 1: could you or your wife like go help Charle like

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Speaker 1: pick her up and take her to the er because

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Speaker 1: it was it was kind of like a panning mode.

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Speaker 2: Well because ugis can result in kidney infections, so also

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Speaker 2: I did not know that, but it was from the

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Speaker 2: surgery and like the catheter and like all this crazy

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Speaker 2: crazy stuff. So like finally eventually made it past that,

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Speaker 2: and then we lost your mom and then you went

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Speaker 2: to Vegas or all kind of in the same moment.

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Speaker 2: And then I also had like a big thing happened

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Speaker 2: with my family that was really hard around Thanksgiving, So

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Speaker 2: that was like an emotional and then we moved. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and then we was born, so what of pregnancy? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and then it was yeah, forty six hours of labor,

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Speaker 2: elective sea section, and then it was in the Nike.

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Speaker 1: You remember when I was trying to keep you in

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Speaker 1: the trenches for oh my gosh, I went to the

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Speaker 1: sea section. Honestly, at husband Ell, I.

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Speaker 2: Feel like, but you thought it was a w and

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Speaker 2: you thought you were doing the right thing, like you

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Speaker 2: said birth plan, it really was more like a birth

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Speaker 2: like I don't know, a guide.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like what you want to learn about the birth.

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Speaker 1: It's like you like for us, I know we're both

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Speaker 1: kind of like type A. You like having planes in place,

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Speaker 1: but you also understand that a plan can go to shit,

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Speaker 1: and if it does, it's like, okay, well, at least

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Speaker 1: we know that we're trying to do these options first

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Speaker 1: before we have to go to before we have to

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Speaker 1: pivot to the next thing. And legitimately, the entire birth

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Speaker 1: plane basically like went to shit because it was like

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Speaker 1: forty something hours forty something hours of labor and I

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Speaker 1: want to say she sat at like four centimeters four hours,

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Speaker 1: like it would never move, and we're doing all these

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Speaker 1: different things like you know, accelerate the delivery.

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Speaker 2: And then it goes because I really wanted a natural birth.

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Speaker 2: I really wanted for the most part, like you know,

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Speaker 2: I was trying to be like really connected to my

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Speaker 2: body and have this like magical moment and we got

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Speaker 2: none of that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then they yeah. And then after the three

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Speaker 1: epidurals and everything else, it's.

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Speaker 2: Like we're in there, and then oh my gosh, yes, the.

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Speaker 1: Thought of C section comes up. We've been in the

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Speaker 1: hospital at this point for We're going on two days.

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Speaker 2: Like people had like you were texting my friend Susan,

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Speaker 2: You're texting all of my girlfriends, which I feel like

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Speaker 2: is so like unusual. Will had a great chat with

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Speaker 2: all of my girlfriends, going like literally updating them like

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Speaker 2: play by play. I'm like, I don't think I've ever

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Speaker 2: received this from any of my friend's husbands or partners

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Speaker 2: in my life. But they're like literally like on a

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Speaker 2: weekend trip, they left for the trip, I'm in the hospital.

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Speaker 2: They get back from their trip and I'm still in

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Speaker 2: the hospital. So it was a very long.

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Speaker 1: Taylor leaves to him and Tailor and go like the

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Speaker 1: Arizona and they're like, oh, we're going to get to

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Speaker 1: come back, like Ru's going to be here, and we

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Speaker 1: get to we get to meet Ru, and they come

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Speaker 1: back and we're still in it. So they just come

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Speaker 1: and deliver some food for us. Uh, give us some dinner, yea, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but we're still in it. I don't know. I don't

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Speaker 1: know when this is gonna happen.

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Speaker 2: Because I mean I wanted, like, you know, no induction,

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Speaker 2: no epidural, no like real assistance other than like we

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Speaker 2: did break my water, which I think was really glad.

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Speaker 2: I'm glad that we did because then we could see

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Speaker 2: there was maconium in the amnio emiotic fluid, which is like,

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Speaker 2: if you don't want to maconium is it's like the

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Speaker 2: poop that the baby has when they're in the womb,

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Speaker 2: which is crazy. I mean, Ru was forty one week,

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Speaker 2: so she was like past term already, but that was

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Speaker 2: like why the nurses were on standby, and she did

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Speaker 2: end up having to go the Nike you for the

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Speaker 2: maconium in her lungs, which was also kind of scary

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Speaker 2: because we're like Why is there baby not here anymore?

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Speaker 2: Why did they take her away? But yeah, it's like

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Speaker 2: finally we get to this point where I'm like, I

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Speaker 2: don't know if I can do this anymore because I

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Speaker 2: have the labor shakes. I'm like getting pumped up with

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Speaker 2: like not only like the drugs of the abidural and

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Speaker 2: the like potocin to like keep the contractions going, but

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Speaker 2: also now I have like antibiotics because I have all

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Speaker 2: these like white blood cell hYP is it red blood

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Speaker 2: cells or white blood cells?

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Speaker 1: I think it's okay.

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Speaker 2: High white bloods, Yeah, either one. All these things in

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Speaker 2: my body that I don't want. I haven't eaten, I

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Speaker 2: haven't slept. It's like exhausting, and it's like I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, could I have done this differently? Could I

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Speaker 2: have Just like I don't know what I've could have

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Speaker 2: done for like, but in the end, I was like,

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Speaker 2: I think I need to have a sea section. And

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Speaker 2: so like all of the nurses and doctors leave and

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Speaker 2: will and I are like should we deliver this baby

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Speaker 2: by sea section?

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Speaker 1: Well?

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Speaker 2: I was like, this is not what you wanted. You

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Speaker 2: don't want this. I don't think you should do it.

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Speaker 2: It kind of He's like, he goes, he goes. It

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Speaker 2: kind of feels like you're giving up.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, hey, gentlemen, men, don't ever say

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Speaker 1: that your wife is in the process of delivery.

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Speaker 2: Baby forty six hours. And he's like, kind of feels

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Speaker 2: like you're giving up. And I'm like, you know what,

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Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck. I am giving up. And

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Speaker 2: we were going to get this baby out in forty

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Speaker 2: five minutes, which is what we did. And I was

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Speaker 2: like crying. I was like so sad. I was like,

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Speaker 2: really sad that you were disappointed in me in those

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Speaker 2: in that in that moment, and I hate.

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Speaker 1: This because this is true. I felt like shit. I

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Speaker 1: thought in my brain I was doing the right thing.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to give her like these football less styles, and.

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Speaker 2: You know, we were trying to have like a code

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Speaker 2: word with a doula, you know what I mean, like

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Speaker 2: code word, like devate code word. I actually don't want

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Speaker 2: this anymore. This is the code word. And I think

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Speaker 2: I had said it like sixty five times at that point.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, not by mess mom.

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Speaker 2: Are you disappointed in me?

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Speaker 1: No? No, no, no, no no. Once I come out

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Speaker 1: of it and gain hey, listen, I know you're laboring

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Speaker 1: for forty plus hours. I'm also on the couch for

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Speaker 1: forty something hours. Shout out the men who have to

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Speaker 1: lay on that couch and sleep on that couch. So

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Speaker 1: I'm sure I was getting a little delusional. I was like,

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Speaker 1: letting my emotions get the best of me, but your

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Speaker 1: reaction zooming out of it. I fucked up by saying that,

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Speaker 1: And no, I did not think that. Like again, you

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Speaker 1: were You see all these shit happening, and it's you

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Speaker 1: doing it Like I'm fucking I'm subbing in with the duela.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I'll do the pressing, I'll do the handholding,

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Speaker 1: I'll do all this.

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Speaker 2: I fall asleep, can help you took.

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Speaker 1: Let's not let you know, let's not fool with the

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Speaker 1: audience now, like maybe one nap, I mean maybe a

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Speaker 1: couple I did thy. Yeah, anytime the duel was the

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Speaker 1: duel is turned to go up, I'm like, let me

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Speaker 1: see if I can sneak on here. As long as

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Speaker 1: nothing's not you know, nothing's not elevated to the height

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Speaker 1: of the pain that she was going through.

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Speaker 2: That was fun. We survived.

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Speaker 1: We survived. Rue. She's a she's a champ. She is

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Speaker 1: a she's a stud, she was healthy, all of that stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we were in the nick you for what a week.

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Speaker 2: That was a really hard week. Yeah for me personally.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if it was hard for you, but

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Speaker 2: it was hard for me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you know the fellas we go through

335
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Speaker 1: it too.

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Speaker 2: Just to I think you're literally just here at work

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Speaker 2: just saying it out doing podcasts and I'm like literally

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Speaker 2: like in this like useless state. I've already taken my

339
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Speaker 2: attorney leave. I'm sitting at home. I have nothing to do.

340
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Speaker 2: I've just given birth, I'm recovering from a c section,

341
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Speaker 2: and I have no baby, i have no purpose I

342
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Speaker 2: have Like, it was it.

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Speaker 1: Was really hard how whatever. I will say that that

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00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,520
Speaker 1: was like shitty. And we also got to sleep and

345
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Speaker 1: you're almost preparing for your baby to come home, versus

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Speaker 1: like you have the baby and you basically leave the

347
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Speaker 1: hospital whenever you're allowed to leave the hospital, because that's

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Speaker 1: kind of how it was with Scottie. So we did

349
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Speaker 1: get to sleep, Yeah, and then you just take we

350
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Speaker 1: just take visits to the hospital.

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Speaker 2: And then it just make her like when she got

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Speaker 2: to come home like that much more, which was like

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Speaker 2: a moment.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so jumping ahead now, like getting to the second one.

355
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Speaker 1: Whenever we figured out like we wanted to have a

356
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Speaker 1: second child, we're ready to have a second child. You know,

357
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Speaker 1: we're as a as a male out there, you're kind

358
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Speaker 1: of just used, like how your wife wants to use

359
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Speaker 1: you to like, hey, ovulation's happening, I need you now.

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Speaker 2: It is kind of sad how like sex, like when

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Speaker 2: you're trying to get pregnant, Like it's not like like

362
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,320
Speaker 2: what it used to be. It like turns into this like.

363
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Speaker 1: More system and yes, it's.

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Speaker 2: It's kind of sucks. Like I don't obviously the first

365
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:05,240
Speaker 2: field to feel that, but yeah, like I definitely felt that,

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Speaker 2: like the far that we got along to like we

367
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,480
Speaker 2: weren't getting pregnant, and it just was like right in

368
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Speaker 2: the secondimulating it's time.

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Speaker 1: And the second time we're going through we think it's

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Speaker 1: gonna you know, kind of we're very aware that how

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Speaker 1: hard it is to get pregnant because a lot of

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Speaker 1: people do have different journeys and it takes a while

373
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Speaker 1: and it's not as easy as as it seems like

374
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Speaker 1: it's going to be. But for us kind of having rue,

375
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,000
Speaker 1: you did have that cyst. You did have that surgery

376
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,160
Speaker 1: to remove the cysts, but I would say that we

377
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,600
Speaker 1: still felt optimistic, going, hey, we're ready to have a

378
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,120
Speaker 1: second child. You know, I'm in there, I'm dropping Semen

379
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Speaker 1: Semen Team six over and over just thinking like this

380
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,120
Speaker 1: is going to land. I'm hunting for the boy. I'm

381
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:41,560
Speaker 1: trying to go get. I'm trying to go after and.

382
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Speaker 2: Get the your metaphors because also you're like saying these

383
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,840
Speaker 2: things and it's like none of this isn't our control. Yeah,

384
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,400
Speaker 2: it's like we think we're doing things that are like

385
00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:52,280
Speaker 2: making our odds better, but like are we Like I

386
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:53,800
Speaker 2: felt like I was like doing all the right stuff

387
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,240
Speaker 2: with the prenatals and when I was eating and how

388
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:57,440
Speaker 2: I was moving, and none of that stuff really mattered.

389
00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:59,360
Speaker 1: I don't know, Yeah, because I stopped doing like the

390
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,720
Speaker 1: sauna because I'm starting to look into things like what

391
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:05,840
Speaker 1: could be hurting my sperm and so I'm like getting

392
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,000
Speaker 1: off everything that can kind of like hurt your sperm

393
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:12,120
Speaker 1: with like heat and whatever it is. And at what

394
00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:14,560
Speaker 1: point do you feel like, hey, we need to start

395
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Speaker 1: working with like a fertility doctor, because you started to

396
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:21,119
Speaker 1: get pretty stressed, like again, not talking about like how

397
00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:25,199
Speaker 1: old you are, we can being thirty five. You started

398
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,520
Speaker 1: to get a little impatient and stressed out over the

399
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:30,440
Speaker 1: female time clock of like having a kid, to where

400
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,840
Speaker 1: I'm sitting there maybe a little bit more optimistic, like Okay,

401
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,280
Speaker 1: hey we got lucky on the first one. We just

402
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:37,160
Speaker 1: got to keep trying, like month after month, like we'll

403
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,480
Speaker 1: just keep We'll just keep kind of chugging along, We'll

404
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,560
Speaker 1: keep doing our thing. And then you start to get

405
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,679
Speaker 1: stressed out to where then it's like, hey, let's go

406
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,600
Speaker 1: get tested, like maybe it's me, Like maybe it's like

407
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:48,760
Speaker 1: I don't know how many tests you even had to

408
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:52,159
Speaker 1: do outside of like yeah, yeah, you got blood work done,

409
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,399
Speaker 1: but we had the system overything, and I'm thinking, what

410
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,440
Speaker 1: if it's me and my sperm? So I'm going in

411
00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,960
Speaker 1: and getting tested jerking off in a cup, which is

412
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,240
Speaker 1: a wild experience.

413
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,680
Speaker 2: Are their magazines in there or they just give you

414
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:07,040
Speaker 2: like a like a porns.

415
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Speaker 1: I mean, I just truth be told, I just pulled

416
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,639
Speaker 1: out my phone and just did my own work, and

417
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,400
Speaker 1: they give you they give you some lube. But I'm

418
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:15,920
Speaker 1: a noe gear type of guy. I don't want to

419
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 1: use gear. I like going after it just me and

420
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Speaker 1: my hand. Yeah, and then you kind of just you

421
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,120
Speaker 1: kind of do your thing in the cup. You put

422
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,400
Speaker 1: the cup in this little mailbox that's built in the wall,

423
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,639
Speaker 1: and then I leave the room, and you're kind of

424
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,480
Speaker 1: like walking around the halls, and then you come across

425
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,160
Speaker 1: one of the one of the nurses, and you kind

426
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,359
Speaker 1: of have like, hey, so do I just do I

427
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Speaker 1: Am I good to go? Do I leave? Do I

428
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,040
Speaker 1: gotta check in with anybody to check out?

429
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Speaker 2: I think you literally just left and didn't say anything

430
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Speaker 2: to anybody the second third time.

431
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Speaker 1: I did do that because I had to do it

432
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Speaker 1: a few different times, which we'll get into with the

433
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:47,720
Speaker 1: IVF process. But I'm getting tested. We're all testing blood work,

434
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,119
Speaker 1: sperm count. I see my volume's great. My guys are

435
00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:55,440
Speaker 1: they're they're hunters. Yeah, I got some dogs in the

436
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:55,920
Speaker 1: a gap.

437
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:59,240
Speaker 2: I think we are both surprised by like the quality

438
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:01,440
Speaker 2: of your sperm, yes, because you had always talked about

439
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:03,800
Speaker 2: like your testouts run being low. Yeah, so we're like, okay,

440
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,080
Speaker 2: maybe the problem is you.

441
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:08,879
Speaker 1: But then should not be the word, and it still wasn't.

442
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:10,680
Speaker 1: It wasn't working. So then we start working with the

443
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:11,560
Speaker 1: fertility doctor.

444
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,120
Speaker 2: Well, kind of yeah. I mean if we like back

445
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,520
Speaker 2: up a little bit, you know how that like maybe

446
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,240
Speaker 2: women anyone woman who's listening, a mom who's listening at

447
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,360
Speaker 2: the like you're a six week post birth checkup, they're

448
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:25,040
Speaker 2: like make sure. They're like asking about abstinence. You're like,

449
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,000
Speaker 2: are you guys, like how are you going to protect

450
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,960
Speaker 2: from having a baby, you know, going forward? Are you

451
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,439
Speaker 2: gonna do condoms? Are you gonna get on birth control?

452
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,960
Speaker 2: And it's like whoa, And then they're like make sure

453
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,640
Speaker 2: if you're gonna get pregnant and you wait a year,

454
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,280
Speaker 2: so they tell you they they say, you wait a year.

455
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:38,680
Speaker 2: So that is kind of what we had in our minds.

456
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,280
Speaker 2: We were like, well, let's wait a year. Who was

457
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,119
Speaker 2: born in April? So I think we started kind of

458
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:45,320
Speaker 2: trying again, like February March, and you know, at this point,

459
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:49,040
Speaker 2: I'm thirty five. Who was born when I was thirty three?

460
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,440
Speaker 2: And I'm thirty five, So like biological eighty if you

461
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,560
Speaker 2: like literally just do a Google search. They're like, if

462
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:58,760
Speaker 2: you're under the age of thirty, wait a year of

463
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,440
Speaker 2: trying before reaching out out for help. And if you're

464
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:03,160
Speaker 2: like over the age of thirty or maybe like thirty

465
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:07,080
Speaker 2: two then only wait six months before reaching out for help.

466
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 2: So we started trying and like, I don't know, March,

467
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 2: and then we eventually reached the point where we reached

468
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,320
Speaker 2: out for help in like October or November, because our

469
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,200
Speaker 2: first fertility like at the fertility clinic appointment was that

470
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:22,200
Speaker 2: wasn't like November November, and that's when they're like, Okay,

471
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,640
Speaker 2: let's do some testing, let's try to figure out what's

472
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,440
Speaker 2: going on. And essentially all of our results came back unexplained,

473
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,880
Speaker 2: unexplained for infertility, unexplained infertility. And I mean again coming

474
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 2: back to like the education piece, like fifty percent of

475
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,119
Speaker 2: all infertility is like secondary, and by secondary, it's like

476
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,879
Speaker 2: after the first kid, so a lot of people are

477
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,560
Speaker 2: struggling to have their very first kid, which I feel

478
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:46,920
Speaker 2: like that's a whole nother ballgame and like journey that

479
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,920
Speaker 2: I'm not like accustomed, like I've not been through. But

480
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,640
Speaker 2: secondary fertility is fifty percent of all cases, and I'm like, wow,

481
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,000
Speaker 2: that's like very common, Like how come I didn't know this.

482
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,199
Speaker 2: So it's like we're trying to have our second kid

483
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,320
Speaker 2: and it's so much harder we thought it'd be. Really

484
00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:04,680
Speaker 2: easy because route was so easy. Yeah, and then we

485
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,119
Speaker 2: g IUI first. So we tried a IUI like right

486
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:07,720
Speaker 2: on Christmas.

487
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,479
Speaker 1: The IUI is like the Turkey basing.

488
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:10,680
Speaker 3: Yeah.

489
00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:13,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, they used to call it artificial insemination, but I

490
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:16,120
Speaker 2: think they changed it for some reason. I'm not sure why.

491
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,720
Speaker 2: Maybe artificial insemination sounded.

492
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, So that's that's when we started to learn about

493
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:25,480
Speaker 1: the options like i UI IVF. You know, this is

494
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,680
Speaker 1: where like the stress was in and we're trying to

495
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,359
Speaker 1: like figure out what the decisions are. And we were

496
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,399
Speaker 1: kind of saying, hey, let's do IUI for what the

497
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 1: first couple of months and we'll try it.

498
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, they recommend doing like three iuis before jumping to IVF,

499
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:38,560
Speaker 2: just kind of based on your history. Like there's a

500
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 2: lot of factors that go into like how a fertility

501
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 2: like doctor will like recommend a plan for you, which

502
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 2: like everyone is different. So like with my biological age,

503
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,440
Speaker 2: I was still under thirty seven. I learned that like

504
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 2: thirty seven is like this point where like egg quality

505
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 2: actually begins to decline. Like scientifically, there's data that says

506
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,760
Speaker 2: like egg quality has like a steeper decline at age

507
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 2: thirty seven. Yeah, which is like Okay, great, I'm only

508
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:03,040
Speaker 2: thirty five. I'm turning thirty six in like a month.

509
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,800
Speaker 2: What can we do now to like preserve this like

510
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 2: quote unquote higher egg quality before it starts to decline

511
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:13,120
Speaker 2: in a year. And also I'd had no previous miscarriages.

512
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,560
Speaker 2: I think that's another factor. People all the times miscarriages

513
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:21,160
Speaker 2: happened because you know, the the quality of the embryo,

514
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:25,680
Speaker 2: it's like maybe abnormal or it won't implant because it's

515
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,720
Speaker 2: it's like the qualite, like the DNA, like the chromosomes,

516
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,160
Speaker 2: there's like too many or not enough. So that's why

517
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,639
Speaker 2: like miscarriages happen a lot of times. Sometimes it's that

518
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,680
Speaker 2: there's other factors as well. But because I've had none

519
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,080
Speaker 2: of those, they're like, okay, maybe it's just like not

520
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 2: lining up. So they thought I was like a good

521
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,720
Speaker 2: candidate to like skip straight to IVF because they want

522
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 2: to get the good egg qualit, like you know, I

523
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,920
Speaker 2: could do like a fresh transfer. There's just all these factors.

524
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,200
Speaker 2: Like I was turning thirty seven in a year, like let's.

525
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,120
Speaker 1: Get there was it was like you did not want

526
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,920
Speaker 1: to be heaving. You wanted to have the you want

527
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 1: to have our second baby before you turn thirty seven,

528
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:06,360
Speaker 1: because it's like we didn't do the third time of IUI,

529
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 1: and then also what goes into IVF. It takes like

530
00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,199
Speaker 1: it's a certain period of time before you get through

531
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 1: the fresh transfer, which would add up these months to

532
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 1: where it's like I want to be yet on this

533
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,400
Speaker 1: baby sooner rather than going through the process.

534
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 2: I think, Yeah, it's just tough with like I think

535
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 2: everyone who goes to fertility clinic wants to have a

536
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:25,520
Speaker 2: baby yesterday, right Like for me personally, I know, I'm like,

537
00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 2: holy shit, We've been trying now for almost a year

538
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,639
Speaker 2: and I still don't have a baby. I'm not even pregnant,

539
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 2: Like how old? How long will this take? So it's

540
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:36,159
Speaker 2: like I go in with this timeline and honestly that

541
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 2: is what I would tell someone if I wasn't given

542
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 2: the advice, like ditch the timeline. But as I'm going

543
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 2: with the timeline, how can I get pregnant as fast

544
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 2: as possible? Like IUI leaves so much more to chance.

545
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,200
Speaker 2: IVF like you have a little bit more control, So

546
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,359
Speaker 2: that I think is another reason why we skipped right

547
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 2: to it, because there's so much preparation work, like we're like, okay,

548
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,240
Speaker 2: let's do IVF. I think we said that like the

549
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:00,240
Speaker 2: very end of December or maybe early January, and we

550
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 2: didn't start it for another month plus because there's like

551
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 2: time they have to do like testing. They have to

552
00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 2: get like your follicles like back down to like baseline,

553
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 2: and they all have to be at baseline. It's kind

554
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 2: of a lot of like scientific stuff that happens in

555
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,479
Speaker 2: your body with like the hormones and everything to prepare

556
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 2: you to start the process for like retrieval. And if

557
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 2: you don't know like what IVF is, it's essentially I mean,

558
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:27,359
Speaker 2: do we talk about it. Yeah, it's like they are

559
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 2: extrame what they're trying to do. Like your body, like

560
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,439
Speaker 2: a woman's body, it's going to drop down one egg

561
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:36,359
Speaker 2: every single month. That's your period, right, Like it drops

562
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,680
Speaker 2: down the egg and then when it flushes the egg out,

563
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,920
Speaker 2: that is like the blood coming out. I mean again,

564
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,199
Speaker 2: maybe this TMI. Maybe it's like everyone knows this, right,

565
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 2: this is like a fifth grade this women had periods. Right,

566
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,679
Speaker 2: He's clarifying that he did know about periods, the.

567
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 3: IVF stuff, Like I'm not entirely sure how that entire process. Yea, yeah,

568
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:02,920
Speaker 3: it works or anything like that.

569
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 2: That's uh, it's like a few steps right, so to

570
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 2: give to prep your body for this thing. That's called

571
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:11,719
Speaker 2: the retrieval. And IVF is two it's two procedures essentially

572
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,880
Speaker 2: in essence. The first procedure is what's called a retrieval.

573
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 2: So your body's dropping down one all by itself, no

574
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 2: matter what. Every month for the most part, if you

575
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 2: have like a regular cycle. What IVF does is it

576
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 2: like kind of hyper stimulates your ovaries and the follicles

577
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:28,560
Speaker 2: in there that produce the eggs to get as many

578
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 2: eggs as possible from ovaries. And for me it's only

579
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 2: one ovary, right, so but for other most people, they're

580
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,520
Speaker 2: stimulating the ovaries to get as many follicles as possible

581
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:39,639
Speaker 2: to have this egg that's like the perfect size has

582
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 2: to be like the perfect size for release down like,

583
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:45,320
Speaker 2: but they don't want to racist, so they go in.

584
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 2: Once the eggs are the perfect size, they go in.

585
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 2: They kind of give you this like I mean know

586
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 2: what the shots called. But they'll go in and they'll

587
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,680
Speaker 2: retrieve the eggs. So that like I went under. I

588
00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:59,240
Speaker 2: went under for that right, like I was asleep.

589
00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:02,399
Speaker 1: I think, so, I mean my memory is shaky.

590
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:06,200
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure. Yeah, I went under. They retrieved the

591
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:10,440
Speaker 2: eggs and they also have Will sperm, So that same

592
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 2: morning of my retrieval, Will goes in and he gives

593
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:14,480
Speaker 2: a sperm. And then what they do is they like

594
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:18,320
Speaker 2: they look for like the fastest swimming sperm, and they

595
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 2: will just kind of match up the eggs with the sperm.

596
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,359
Speaker 2: And there's different ways you can do it. You can

597
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 2: kind of like let them like put them in a

598
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,440
Speaker 2: petri dish and let them like hang out and like

599
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 2: match up by chance. Or you can also do this

600
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 2: thing called gosh, what's it called. It's in sick I forget,

601
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 2: but they basically inject the sperm into the egg to

602
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,159
Speaker 2: ensure that they like what's that called. There's like a

603
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 2: it's a weird acronym. We can look it up.

604
00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:45,720
Speaker 1: But is that when I was we were in the

605
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,159
Speaker 1: room and they're putting the sperm.

606
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean we didn't see it happen, but they're

607
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 2: trying to make embryos. So they're taking Will sperm and

608
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 2: they're taking my eggs and they're like, you know, trying

609
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:59,159
Speaker 2: to make as many embryos as possible. Yeah, so then

610
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,119
Speaker 2: they like let the ms sit and like hatch, they

611
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,720
Speaker 2: have to get to like blasticis stage, so there's like

612
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 2: three day five day and they make it to a

613
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,960
Speaker 2: five day blasticis. You can either freeze them or you

614
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,760
Speaker 2: can transfer them. So a lot of people will free

615
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 2: them if they want them for the future, or you

616
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:15,920
Speaker 2: can freeze them if you want to like test them first.

617
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 2: They call it PGTA testing, and that basically tests like

618
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,159
Speaker 2: for abnormal chromosomes to see like how likely it is

619
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:25,360
Speaker 2: if you transfer this embryo, will it implant and will

620
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 2: it become like a baby in a live birth. We

621
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:31,680
Speaker 2: chose to do a fresh transfer, and we did that

622
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 2: because the fertility doctor said, be okay, great candidate for it.

623
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 2: And it's like a month faster, and it's much faster

624
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 2: because you don't have to wait for the PGTA results

625
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,399
Speaker 2: like those can often take six to eight weeks, so

626
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 2: some people do retrieval and then they'll freeze their eggs

627
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 2: or send them off for testing and then they won't

628
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,400
Speaker 2: do their transfer for another like two to three months.

629
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:55,439
Speaker 2: We did it so that as soon as that embryo,

630
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,640
Speaker 2: the best ones will kind of grade them, so they're

631
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,199
Speaker 2: like tell you how many eggs or tell me how

632
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 2: tell you how many eggs they got, how many embryos

633
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 2: made it to day five blastocysts, And from them they

634
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 2: can like grade them like this is this is graded X,

635
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:11,440
Speaker 2: this is graded y. There's like different grading scales, and

636
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,960
Speaker 2: they'll for our fresh transfer, they chose the best one,

637
00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 2: the best graded one, the one that like looked the best,

638
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,200
Speaker 2: like based on like their microscope. It's kind of crazier,

639
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 2: like this is what we're looking for. I'm like, oh cool,

640
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,480
Speaker 2: Like I have no idea what that is. And then

641
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 2: for a fresh transfer, they literally transfer it into your body.

642
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:29,359
Speaker 2: So that's another procedure. That's procedure number two for like

643
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:31,879
Speaker 2: trying to implant it. So they're trying to like mimic

644
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,400
Speaker 2: what happens when like the egg is like traveling down

645
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,280
Speaker 2: the Filippian tube and then the sperm meets it and

646
00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 2: then they like mate and then it like implants in

647
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 2: the uterus. So that is what they're like kind of

648
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 2: manufacturing scientifically. And that I was not under I was

649
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 2: awake and I'm just like kind of laying there and

650
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 2: it's really cold, and I remember being really stiff, and

651
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 2: I was just trying to relax.

652
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,520
Speaker 1: I mean they're kind of watching the entire process. They're guiding. Yeah,

653
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 1: they're guiding it to the right spot because it has

654
00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:59,720
Speaker 1: to stick right. They have to be insanely accurate. It's

655
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 1: a It's.

656
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:02,800
Speaker 2: Incredible and I'm just like hoping that they got the

657
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:04,720
Speaker 2: right sperm. I'm like, I hope it's will comptents.

658
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you hope it like uh and then

659
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 1: it is in hope that you hope it in plants

660
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 1: and and sticks to where you know it doesn't.

661
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 2: You don't you know, like it's not even like really

662
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 2: a miscarriage at that way the egg breaks or like yeah,

663
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 2: I mean like is the embryo like a good embrya,

664
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 2: Like are the at like the chromosomes right right? How's

665
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,160
Speaker 2: your uterus like some people have like uterine polyops or

666
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 2: like all different things that like happen or maybe like

667
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,040
Speaker 2: it's the problem, like the problem, but like something is

668
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,160
Speaker 2: going on in your body that you haven't tested for.

669
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 2: So I will say like in general, I feel like

670
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 2: our process was like overall smooth, Like we didn't have

671
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,280
Speaker 2: to do like a lot of extra testing. I talked

672
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 2: to so many people where they like go through this

673
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:50,960
Speaker 2: and like, wow, we found this out about myself and

674
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 2: now I have to like do this stuff for my

675
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 2: hormones or I have to like fix this or like

676
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 2: try and make this a little better. And then like

677
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 2: the process gets elongated and lengthened even more. Oh then

678
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 2: you know again you wanted the baby yesterday.

679
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, And there's so much unknown too, to where it's

680
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 1: like you're trying to have patience and be ready for

681
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 1: if a pivot has to happen, because we also have

682
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 1: so many friends that had to go through many different

683
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 1: cycles or oh my gosh, if you have tons of retrievals, Yeah,

684
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 1: tons of retro.

685
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 2: And that's the thing with the retrievals, Like the attrition

686
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 2: rate and if you have is crazy. Like I won't

687
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,760
Speaker 2: say how many eggs we got, but in general the

688
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,280
Speaker 2: attrition is like up to eighty percent from like the

689
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 2: number of eggs you get in terms of how many

690
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:34,080
Speaker 2: healthy like day five blasticis like embryos you have, So

691
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:36,760
Speaker 2: there's like so much drop off. Like let's say you

692
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 2: get twenty five eggs, only ten of those might fertilize,

693
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:43,160
Speaker 2: and then maybe only five of those make it to

694
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 2: day five blasticist and maybe only two of those are

695
00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 2: actually chromosomally normal. So it's like you're going from like

696
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 2: twenty five to two. So that's why some people with

697
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 2: their retrieval, they end up with zero and like then

698
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 2: you just don't have any eggs to transfer it all.

699
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 2: I mean, I guess you could always try to transfer

700
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 2: it abnormal if you have one. I've always also heard

701
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,800
Speaker 2: like data about that, Like you haven't mad do like

702
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 2: genetic counseling, but sometimes like the women's body will literally

703
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 2: fix an abnormal implantation, like an abnormal embryo in the uterus,

704
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 2: and just it becomes like a live birth, like a

705
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 2: chromosomally normal baby, which is crazy, Like there's just so

706
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 2: much that happens like within our bodies that's not in

707
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 2: our control, and there's so many things that we can do,

708
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 2: like with IBF too, to like it's just like, yeah,

709
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 2: so we got so lucky that we did one retrieval,

710
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:32,280
Speaker 2: one transfer, and thankfully it's stuck and now it's che

711
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 2: s guy.

712
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 1: Because backup talk about all the hormone chats. My gosh

713
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:39,240
Speaker 1: is there's such a process to even get to that

714
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,720
Speaker 1: point of you know, getting the embryos and the agg

715
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,000
Speaker 1: retrieval and everything else. Yeah, you have to go through

716
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:49,000
Speaker 1: pretty them needles ain't a walk in the park.

717
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean yeah, So it's like retrieval and transfer.

718
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:54,480
Speaker 2: I feel like leading up to the transfer, there's not

719
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 2: like a lot of things different. Really, it's like leading

720
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 2: up to the trieble where you're trying to like get

721
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:02,200
Speaker 2: as many follicles active and like these egg size is perfect.

722
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:04,160
Speaker 2: That's when all like the shots come in. So when

723
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:06,080
Speaker 2: you hear people talk about shots in the IBF, that's

724
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,920
Speaker 2: what it is, so essentially, which another thing that kind

725
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 2: of comes into play was like birth control, which I

726
00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 2: was like so annoyed by. But sometimes they'll prescribe you

727
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:17,120
Speaker 2: birth controlled to like kind of control the start date

728
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 2: of the IVF cycle, and I didn't want that. I

729
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 2: was like, please, I do not want that at all.

730
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 2: I don't want any extra hormones I don't have to have.

731
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 2: But this whole thing happened where it's just like the

732
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:29,600
Speaker 2: timing of like when the fertility clinic closed and when

733
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 2: they could get results and when my period had started

734
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:34,480
Speaker 2: that I had to like push it off by a week.

735
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 2: And I was so frustrated by this because the birth can,

736
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 2: I mean, I didn't know what at the time, but

737
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 2: the birth control gave me these terrible headaches. I literally

738
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:42,959
Speaker 2: like couldn't work, and I don't really get headaches a lot,

739
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:45,080
Speaker 2: so that was like a whole other factor. So they

740
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:48,280
Speaker 2: like suppressed my follicles with birth control, which again don't

741
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 2: recommend if you don't have to, but sometimes it's like

742
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,040
Speaker 2: it actually got it done sooner. Otherwise I would have

743
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 2: had to wait a whole nother month. So birth control

744
00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:00,240
Speaker 2: step one, and then they're like, Okay, your follicles look good,

745
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 2: everything's baseline. Let's start the shots. So they like give

746
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 2: you these dosages of like these hormones that you have

747
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 2: to put into your belly, and I think there were

748
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 2: three for the retrieval process, and you gave them to

749
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 2: me for the most part, all the ones in my belly.

750
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 2: Maybe yeah, I think you've even all those because you

751
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 2: were in town leading up to like afterwards, sometimes Audrey

752
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:22,800
Speaker 2: or Nanny gave them to me. Shout out Audrey, huge,

753
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,560
Speaker 2: shout out to Audrey. Oh my gosh, she's the best.

754
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 2: But yeah, so like leading up to their treebal they're

755
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 2: my husband, will You're giving me these shots in my

756
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 2: belly usually morning and night, and I'm going into the

757
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 2: fertility clinic like every few days to get checked, like,

758
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 2: how's the follicle looking, how's the growth looking? Okay, do

759
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 2: we need to like pump up this hormone? Do we

760
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 2: need to timber down a little bit on this one?

761
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 2: Like they're trying to adjust the dosages to get the

762
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 2: fog holes to grow at the right rate. They don't

763
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:48,600
Speaker 2: want them to grow too fast because they grow too

764
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 2: fast and the eggs will release, but they don't have

765
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 2: to growth too slow easy either, and they also want

766
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 2: them to all grow at the same time. So it's

767
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 2: like a lot of things happening that they're like trying

768
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,440
Speaker 2: to like pinpoint and get correct. So then when they

769
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 2: you know, I'm going going in every few days, and

770
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,480
Speaker 2: those shots were not terrible. I mean it's like really

771
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 2: just like pinching my belly fat putting it in there.

772
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 2: They're relatively small shots. It's just like tons of them.

773
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 2: And also they just like send you everything at your

774
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:14,240
Speaker 2: house and you're like, oh, am I like a doctor?

775
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:14,480
Speaker 1: Now?

776
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,400
Speaker 2: Like am I a nurse? Like do I just have

777
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 2: to figure this out? Yeah? No, Yeah, there's they're they're like, oh,

778
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:23,920
Speaker 2: this is how you do with this video anyway? So

779
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 2: you did it, but you give yourself shots all the time.

780
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,919
Speaker 1: So I feel like you were So what's so funny, Mitch.

781
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:31,360
Speaker 1: Everybody knows I do some peptides.

782
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, but also you said that it was like different

783
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 2: giving me shots and giving you shots.

784
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:42,360
Speaker 1: Oh for sure, because yeah, you're like in control, you

785
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 1: know how it feels and everything else. And again you're

786
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 1: pain tolerance. It's like you're trying to do everything you

787
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:49,120
Speaker 1: can to make it as comfortable as possible.

788
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:53,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, so those belly shots weren't I mean comparatively, they're really.

789
00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 1: Not that bad. No, not compared to the oh my gosh.

790
00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 2: So then you go in they're like, Okay, your follicles

791
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 2: look great. Do the retrieval. They schedule it. They have

792
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,680
Speaker 2: to do this like little like uh infragot it's called.

793
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 2: But they give you one final one that like gets

794
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 2: you in the right spot and they'll do the retrieval.

795
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 2: And then as soon as the retrieval is done. I

796
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 2: think a lot of people think IBF is like once

797
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:13,879
Speaker 2: you do their treble and or a transfer, you're done.

798
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 2: It's not. The shots continue. So then they're trying to

799
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:21,440
Speaker 2: get kind of like getting your body ready to like

800
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:24,440
Speaker 2: implant an embryo, so they're trying to get more progesterone

801
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 2: in there. So progesterone in oil like PIO is what

802
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:32,720
Speaker 2: you're injecting literally into your butt. So it's it's crazy.

803
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 2: So as soon as the retrieval shots end, the progesterone

804
00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:40,560
Speaker 2: starts begin and they're like big needles and you have

805
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,759
Speaker 2: to I mean typically they'll recommend like if you end

806
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:44,960
Speaker 2: up getting pregnant, you do them during the two week wait.

807
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 2: You'll do them like as soon as the transfer is done,

808
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:49,560
Speaker 2: and then like until you find out if you're pregnant

809
00:35:49,600 --> 00:35:51,360
Speaker 2: or not, and then if you are pregnant, and you

810
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:53,680
Speaker 2: have to continue them through twelve weeks at pregnancy, so

811
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,319
Speaker 2: it's not done when you get pregnant. You keep giving

812
00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 2: yourself progesterone and oil shots your butt every night until

813
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,759
Speaker 2: you get pregnant or sorry, until twelve weeks.

814
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, buddy, these these these tots now give us like

815
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 1: a size a man. I kind of cant can you

816
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:12,879
Speaker 1: pull it up? Pull it up on Google? What would

817
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:14,160
Speaker 1: you type in sweetheart.

818
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 2: P I O shots? But yeah, they're like a big

819
00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:24,359
Speaker 2: needle and it's like a lot of like what like this, Yeah,

820
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,880
Speaker 2: and they're like kind of thick, and I do remember,

821
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:28,919
Speaker 2: like I walk in the park so much.

822
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 1: I remember seeing and I kind of took it out.

823
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 1: I was like, a sweetheart, don't don't look back here.

824
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 1: I'm looking at you have the dog pulled up.

825
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:44,880
Speaker 2: You cannot really see it matched.

826
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 1: Right there? Yeah, can you see it?

827
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, that's that's a big needle.

828
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:54,279
Speaker 1: You can't see it on your screen. Yeah, those that

829
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 1: one on the left there, but yeah, it's a beast.

830
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 2: It's really not. But it's like your hip. If anyone's

831
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 2: looking for tips on like best ways to manage PIO injections,

832
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 2: what did I do?

833
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 3: I did?

834
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 2: I rolled out I rolled out the butte. Yeah, like

835
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 2: two or three minutes. I would do some air squads and.

836
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:15,400
Speaker 1: When you're you would warm, you would heat.

837
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 2: No, I did heating after, Okay, you do heating after.

838
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,759
Speaker 2: And then I would like prepare the PIO injection into

839
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:22,759
Speaker 2: this huge ass needle. And there's like two needles, so

840
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 2: you have to make sure you're not doing like the

841
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,680
Speaker 2: retrieving needle because that one's even bigger. And I've heard

842
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:31,320
Speaker 2: people like accidentally use that one, which is like terrible.

843
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 1: Yeah.

844
00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 2: So then I'm like, well, choose the spot. I'm alternating butts,

845
00:37:35,560 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 2: so like let's say, you know, when I do my

846
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:38,840
Speaker 2: right cheek, next time I do my left cheek, you

847
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:40,879
Speaker 2: want to make sure. And then I find a spot

848
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,239
Speaker 2: that's like not like holy and there's not a ton

849
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:45,480
Speaker 2: of bruise on, like do this spot, so like clean

850
00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:47,239
Speaker 2: it off. And then our trick was that.

851
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:51,279
Speaker 1: You would in the ass like big, all right, is

852
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 1: this the spot again? You're trying to avoid the bruising

853
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:56,320
Speaker 1: because there's bruising that occurs throughout the process that you

854
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 1: just like you just feel bad for. You're like, Dan,

855
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 1: have to put this needle in her again. But she

856
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 1: would she would be there, bend over the kitchen can. Yeah,

857
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:05,920
Speaker 1: I bent over the kitchen counter. I'll be all right,

858
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:09,920
Speaker 1: are you ready? And she'd be like yeah, and I

859
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 1: would just I'll be like okay, and I'd slap her

860
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:16,480
Speaker 1: on the ass and then slip the needle in. And

861
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:19,200
Speaker 1: then as the needle's in, it's like probably an eight

862
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:20,880
Speaker 1: to ten second like as it has to.

863
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:22,360
Speaker 2: Like slowly go in because you don't want to go

864
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:22,799
Speaker 2: too fast.

865
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:24,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't go too fast, So you're going like

866
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:26,360
Speaker 1: eight to ten seconds where you're just pushing it in,

867
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:27,720
Speaker 1: You're just like, tell me the breathe.

868
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:30,360
Speaker 2: You really could countdown, yeah, and some were fine and

869
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:31,600
Speaker 2: some were like really bad.

870
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 1: Right.

871
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 2: It really just kind of like depended on.

872
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 1: The spot in the day and ever after the injection.

873
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,960
Speaker 2: You would like heat your right after the injection, I'd

874
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:40,560
Speaker 2: apply pressure and then I'd sit on a heating pad

875
00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 2: for a little bit. Yeah, but it got to a

876
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:44,879
Speaker 2: point over like two weeks or two to three weeks

877
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:46,600
Speaker 2: of these, I'm like, I can't walk like. I was

878
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 2: so like frustrated because I like, not only am I

879
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:52,919
Speaker 2: like going through IVF, but I'm also like in pain.

880
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:55,640
Speaker 2: And so I did go in. I was like, hey,

881
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:58,439
Speaker 2: any chance I'd get a smaller needle, and they're like yeah, sure.

882
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:00,759
Speaker 2: I'm like, why did you Why did you give me

883
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 2: this huge needle to begin with? So I'm really glad

884
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:05,240
Speaker 2: I asked for a smaller needle. Again, if your needles

885
00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 2: look a little too big, maybe you get a smaller one.

886
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 2: You can see what they say, Yeah, and those felt

887
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:11,480
Speaker 2: a little bit better. Another options that you can take

888
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,319
Speaker 2: progesterone and oil. This is again TM I there's these

889
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:18,320
Speaker 2: like little tablets and they don't like using this it

890
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 2: because as effective like using the shot, like it'll get

891
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:24,279
Speaker 2: it directly into your bloodstream. It's like quick works right away.

892
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:26,160
Speaker 2: But you can also do like this kind of like

893
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:29,240
Speaker 2: area one where you like literally insert this little tablet

894
00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 2: into your uterus. So that's fun. I'm so glad Mitch

895
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 2: is here. So yeah, that's lots of the shots and stuff.

896
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,919
Speaker 1: If we'rebody listening, I feel like they just learned learned

897
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 1: about the IVF process. Mitch, do you feel like you

898
00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 1: got that? Definitely helps clear it up. Talk about the

899
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 1: highs and lows throughout the process. I don't even know

900
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:59,239
Speaker 1: if there were highs, but obviously the highs when we

901
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 1: find out that it's it's happening for us, But there

902
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 1: were definitely quite a few lows throughout due to the stress,

903
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:10,239
Speaker 1: the foremones, the impatience hoping everything goes well that it's

904
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 1: you know, it's obviously a very stressful, a stressful journey

905
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:18,560
Speaker 1: because even again it's like, were you did you become

906
00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:21,640
Speaker 1: the owner yet of bar three? No, but at that

907
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:22,960
Speaker 1: point in the process of.

908
00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 2: She had called me and said, hey, would you want

909
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:24,880
Speaker 2: to do this?

910
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:26,840
Speaker 1: And I was saying, like, with work and career, I

911
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 1: know there was one time where you had to kind

912
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:31,440
Speaker 1: of moves up around or you couldn't go to something

913
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:32,800
Speaker 1: for work that you had really wanted to go to

914
00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:34,560
Speaker 1: where I think you were going to be speaking or

915
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 1: you were going to be doing something that you were

916
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:38,320
Speaker 1: really excited about. And yeah, kind of an emotion. It

917
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 1: took kind of an emotional toll on you at that

918
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 1: point to where it felt kind of like a like

919
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:44,080
Speaker 1: a breaking point because I think we were out in

920
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 1: I think Vegas for the super Bowl, this might have

921
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:52,799
Speaker 1: been in Federation, was kind of early, but yeah, take

922
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:55,000
Speaker 1: us through, take us through the emotional roller coaster.

923
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:57,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh my gosh, it's I feel like I could

924
00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:02,160
Speaker 2: just talk for hours and I'll try not to, but yeah,

925
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 2: I think I know that I'm like a person who

926
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 2: likes to be in control. I think you're very similar,

927
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:11,400
Speaker 2: Like we like to control the controllables, and IVF is

928
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 2: very much a process where you're not in control. But

929
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,759
Speaker 2: it's also very odd because I did feel like, if

930
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 2: you're talking highs, like the one high was that like

931
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:22,920
Speaker 2: we were finally doing something together that like gives us

932
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 2: a higher likelihood of having our second baby. So like

933
00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:29,600
Speaker 2: we knew long term that this was like hopefully the

934
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:32,960
Speaker 2: right move, but like in it, like in this like

935
00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 2: thick of it, like this tear, like this bubble. I

936
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,400
Speaker 2: think a lot of it had to do with like

937
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 2: timelines and expectation and the process, because during the IVF process,

938
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 2: like retrieval transfer, they recommend not traveling. I mean in general,

939
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:55,000
Speaker 2: like don't go too far away. Obviously during the whole

940
00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,880
Speaker 2: retrieval process you have to be the fertility clinic every

941
00:41:56,920 --> 00:42:00,399
Speaker 2: couple days anyway, so you can't go anywhere. And after

942
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 2: the transfer, like you're waiting to see if you're pregnant,

943
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,440
Speaker 2: it's like don't exert too much. Like physical activity does

944
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 2: not actually affect an embryo's ability to implant, but in

945
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:11,839
Speaker 2: some ways, like a woman would never forgive herself if

946
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 2: she like went for a run and then didn't get pregnant,

947
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:16,920
Speaker 2: So it's more like a mental thing like anyway, so

948
00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 2: it's like they restrict you. They say like don't do

949
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:23,000
Speaker 2: all these things. And at this point, you know, of course,

950
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:25,200
Speaker 2: I wish I was pregnant six months ago and I

951
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:27,279
Speaker 2: had all these they cool things planned for work, Like

952
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,359
Speaker 2: I was really pumped to lead this training in DC

953
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:32,040
Speaker 2: at my old studio that I used to work at

954
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 2: and manage there, and I had to cancel it and

955
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:37,240
Speaker 2: I had to like kind of tell my team members,

956
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,759
Speaker 2: like can someone step in to do this training for

957
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:42,120
Speaker 2: me that I was like so pumped for the opportunity

958
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:45,520
Speaker 2: to do, because I'm like in the middle of this

959
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 2: procedure that should have already been done or that I

960
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 2: didn't know was going to happen, and like all the

961
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 2: timing doesn't work out where I couldn't go, and I

962
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:57,960
Speaker 2: just remember feeling so mad. I was like really angry

963
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:01,719
Speaker 2: because I think internally like I was feling like I

964
00:43:01,800 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 2: was missing out on this opportunity for work, which I

965
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:07,320
Speaker 2: love my job. I you know, am about like in

966
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:11,800
Speaker 2: the middle of like going through this with my body obviously,

967
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:14,400
Speaker 2: after like months and months of trying to get pregnant

968
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:16,759
Speaker 2: where you get these negative pregnancy tests or I would

969
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:19,120
Speaker 2: get them, and I just every time it was just

970
00:43:19,239 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 2: like I just felt so hopeless, like looking at these

971
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 2: negative pregnancy tests where it's like where I would get

972
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:26,760
Speaker 2: my period and I would just like start crying because

973
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 2: we just wanted a second kid so badly. So it's

974
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:33,360
Speaker 2: already at this point where I'm so vulnerable, so emotional

975
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,480
Speaker 2: and now I can't do these like cool things I

976
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:37,279
Speaker 2: want to do for work. And then I think we

977
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:39,560
Speaker 2: were supposed to go on vacation. We're supposed to go

978
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 2: to Mexico. We canceled that also because we knew we'd

979
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 2: be in the middle of the fertility stuff with the IVF.

980
00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:47,920
Speaker 2: And I also like, I'm like, oh, I have to

981
00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:50,399
Speaker 2: cancel this work training that I've been pumped about I've

982
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 2: been working on for months. And you know, I'm sitting

983
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:56,280
Speaker 2: here at home on the phone with a fertility doctor

984
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 2: and Will is literally in Vegas living his like best

985
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:03,200
Speaker 2: life life, like his like working and like his life

986
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:07,200
Speaker 2: is normal. He's like with his the boys and he's

987
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:10,040
Speaker 2: doing football and he's like having fun. Like I know

988
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:12,319
Speaker 2: he like is thinking of me. I'm not like it's

989
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 2: not like resentment, but it's almost like this comparison where

990
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:17,319
Speaker 2: I'm the one like in it and I'm the one

991
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:19,360
Speaker 2: who has to like give up all these things that

992
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 2: I wanted to do and he doesn't have to, which

993
00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:27,799
Speaker 2: I mean it just sucks. So it's like that it's

994
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,319
Speaker 2: like feels really lonely in and of itself when it's

995
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,880
Speaker 2: like my partner is not actually experiencing this with me,

996
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 2: even though we're going through it together. It's not like

997
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 2: we're not Actually he's like not in my body.

998
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:42,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that was like, yes, that's fair, that's natural.

999
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:44,520
Speaker 1: I think it's like it's one of those things too

1000
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 1: that every couple who's whether they're going through the IVF process,

1001
00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 1: you know, whatever the fertility pregnancy journey that people are on,

1002
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:55,840
Speaker 1: it's like these moments happen naturally, I think, no matter what.

1003
00:44:56,320 --> 00:45:00,000
Speaker 1: And it's it's obviously important that you're like staying connected

1004
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 1: with your partner because again it's like, you know, we'd

1005
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 1: be on a phone call and I'm thinking of my head,

1006
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:10,400
Speaker 1: do you know I'm trying to let her talk and

1007
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:12,839
Speaker 1: feel her emotions, Like do I just let her feel

1008
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:16,319
Speaker 1: her emotions and empathize? Does she want me to try

1009
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 1: and give a solution to like, you know, like what

1010
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 1: is she needing out of me? And if you know,

1011
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,400
Speaker 1: if you're if you're the guy, and you know, you

1012
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 1: could obviously say the wrong thing, and it's something as

1013
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:28,759
Speaker 1: simple as oh, it's easy for you to say, and

1014
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, the may like we're triggered

1015
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 1: because we're trying our best and you just there's a

1016
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:36,800
Speaker 1: lot of stuff going on just in the in the

1017
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:39,759
Speaker 1: relationship that you have to navigate and stay connected on

1018
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:41,440
Speaker 1: because now you kind of lose sight of it, then

1019
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:45,520
Speaker 1: you can kind of get resentful because again it's just

1020
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:48,520
Speaker 1: like talking from the male perspective, which again we're not

1021
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 1: going through it. I think we're very aware of, or

1022
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:53,440
Speaker 1: we try to be as aware as we can of

1023
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 1: how hard it is because a lot of this stuff too.

1024
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 1: It's like we're traveling and I know that I'm getting

1025
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:02,440
Speaker 1: to kind of like live my best life and do

1026
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:04,839
Speaker 1: all these things with my career, and you're stuck at

1027
00:46:04,840 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: home and you're going through all this stuff. It's like

1028
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:08,719
Speaker 1: there's this guilt and shame that kind of builds up

1029
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:11,640
Speaker 1: inside of you that if it's not communicated the right way,

1030
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:14,280
Speaker 1: if you don't have the right communication with your spouse,

1031
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 1: your wife, your girlfriend, whatever, it is, like it can

1032
00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:21,200
Speaker 1: go sideways. And so I don't know exactly where I'm

1033
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:23,400
Speaker 1: going with all that word salad, but I think like

1034
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 1: stay connected and knowing that there are gonna be times

1035
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 1: where there's gonna be arguments being had, but as long

1036
00:46:28,719 --> 00:46:30,359
Speaker 1: as you can kind of like find your way back

1037
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:32,359
Speaker 1: to that connection and get out of it, whether you're

1038
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 1: sleeping on it for a night and or learning how

1039
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,040
Speaker 1: to hey, how do you want me to help you

1040
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 1: right now? Or and even that might you know fellows

1041
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:43,400
Speaker 1: all the time, it's like you don't know what questions

1042
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:46,800
Speaker 1: because then you're like, oh, you're expected to know. You

1043
00:46:47,120 --> 00:46:49,240
Speaker 1: gotta know, like why you asked me this? You shouldn't

1044
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:51,200
Speaker 1: know what's going about. You just get some such a

1045
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:54,920
Speaker 1: mental frenzy that it's just super important that you got that.

1046
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 1: Everybody communicates, and you try to find the ways to

1047
00:46:58,239 --> 00:47:00,720
Speaker 1: communicate best. I know Tarl and I were big proponents

1048
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:04,880
Speaker 1: and will hit couple's therapy and try to have that

1049
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:08,759
Speaker 1: third party perspective navigate like differences and how we see

1050
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 1: things and how to communicate better and more effectively. What

1051
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:14,759
Speaker 1: kind of stirs up in your mind whenever you know, hey,

1052
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:17,080
Speaker 1: why aren't you cleaning this up? Why aren't you doing this?

1053
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:23,320
Speaker 1: But no, it's it's it's important because that stuff is

1054
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:25,959
Speaker 1: I think, no matter what it happens naturally because again

1055
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:28,840
Speaker 1: you're you're kind of fighting this fight, which feels like

1056
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:31,920
Speaker 1: alone a lot of the times, even though that you

1057
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 1: know you do have a partner, but it's tough. It

1058
00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:37,640
Speaker 1: sounds like it's like it's very tough to juggle, because again,

1059
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:40,799
Speaker 1: I'm not going through it actually the way you are.

1060
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:45,920
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I mean overall, like looking back though, I

1061
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:47,800
Speaker 2: feel like you handled it well, Like you did a

1062
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:50,400
Speaker 2: lot of listening. And then sometimes I felt like you

1063
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 2: were like doing all this listening and there were things

1064
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:53,840
Speaker 2: like maybe you wanted to say or like wanted to

1065
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 2: offer up and you just kind of didn't And maybe

1066
00:47:57,600 --> 00:47:59,480
Speaker 2: that was the right thing, maybe that wasn't. I don't know,

1067
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 2: But like I honestly kind of like sometimes was feeling

1068
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 2: like like what's Wilniye, Like what's he feeling in this

1069
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:08,000
Speaker 2: moment that he's not saying that he's like protecting me

1070
00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:10,000
Speaker 2: from or he's like just trying to like kind of

1071
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:12,839
Speaker 2: silence his own emotions because mine are so big right now.

1072
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:15,719
Speaker 2: So like what do you what did you need going

1073
00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:16,560
Speaker 2: through IVF?

1074
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:20,879
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. Again, there's like more

1075
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:24,439
Speaker 1: it's like it's like guilt and shame that would build

1076
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:26,480
Speaker 1: up in me versus like like because you don't want

1077
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:27,879
Speaker 1: to like I don't want to like let you down.

1078
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:29,920
Speaker 1: I do want to try and say the right things.

1079
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:32,279
Speaker 1: A lot of times, like when you're just doing the

1080
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:35,600
Speaker 1: whole listening thing and empathizing, the phone conversation will kind

1081
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:38,600
Speaker 1: of like end with you being like, oh, you know,

1082
00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:41,360
Speaker 1: if we're on the phone, like okay, I'll let you go,

1083
00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:45,120
Speaker 1: and you feel like, all right, did did I? Did

1084
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:47,920
Speaker 1: I provide enough? Because when you're just listening, you're not

1085
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 1: like providing a solution or you're not like you that's okay, yeah,

1086
00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:53,560
Speaker 1: which is Yeah, it's dude, It's just it's a yeah,

1087
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 1: it's a puzzle. It's a puzzle that's hard to know.

1088
00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:58,799
Speaker 2: I feel it's a puzzle. I don't have answers either, Yeah,

1089
00:48:59,040 --> 00:48:59,399
Speaker 2: like if.

1090
00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:01,160
Speaker 1: You leave the conversation or you're sitting at home and

1091
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 1: whether you continue to watch a TV show. I know,

1092
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 1: in my mind it's like am I doing? Am I

1093
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 1: being the support that she needs right now? Or should

1094
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:11,279
Speaker 1: I have said this? Or should I have said that?

1095
00:49:12,040 --> 00:49:14,960
Speaker 1: When really it's like, you know, intimacy can be a

1096
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,200
Speaker 1: lot different when you're going through this journey to where

1097
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:19,360
Speaker 1: like you know, we'll be talking with therbis. I'm like,

1098
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes I'm just laying there like could I

1099
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 1: just you know, can we get a little can we

1100
00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:25,399
Speaker 1: get a little action, but I'm feeling bad about even

1101
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:27,880
Speaker 1: thinking about that because I'm not going through what's going on.

1102
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:29,800
Speaker 1: But then I'm like, okay, but I also need to

1103
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:31,799
Speaker 1: I need to create space for my needs. What am

1104
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:33,600
Speaker 1: I need right now? Like it's like, that's what tells

1105
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:35,160
Speaker 1: me what I'm needing right now? But how do I

1106
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:41,840
Speaker 1: even communicate that? It makes like that's funny. I promised that.

1107
00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:44,879
Speaker 1: That was a conversation that I basically tried walking through,

1108
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:46,759
Speaker 1: like in front of her therapists one time, and it's

1109
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:48,680
Speaker 1: just like, well, just how do I even go about that?

1110
00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:51,200
Speaker 1: Because again, I feel like a I feel like an

1111
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:54,279
Speaker 1: asshole to even like want that during this time. So

1112
00:49:54,560 --> 00:49:59,439
Speaker 1: there's there's a lot of stuff I feel like, you know, okay, yeah, yeah,

1113
00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:03,200
Speaker 1: trying to live in that emotion, and I'm trying to

1114
00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 1: live in that.

1115
00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:05,359
Speaker 2: You know, it's all the shame and gill And then

1116
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:06,920
Speaker 2: of course if I knew this, and I'm going to

1117
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 2: feel shame and gilling about you feeling shame, and so

1118
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 2: it's like this like circle and cycle that It's like,

1119
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:14,400
Speaker 2: is this even productive? Maybe we can just both understand

1120
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 2: that we're like on the same team.

1121
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:18,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, And because I'll be telling the docmn she I'll

1122
00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 1: be like, and Doc, it's like the moment like maybe

1123
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:22,719
Speaker 1: I try, and she just says like, and of.

1124
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:24,759
Speaker 2: Course, why you're going through this. They don't really they

1125
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:28,240
Speaker 2: don't want you to have any penetration that's not allowed.

1126
00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:31,160
Speaker 1: But again, it's like, Okay, a roller coaster shut down,

1127
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:32,480
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean we got to shut down the entire

1128
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:34,239
Speaker 1: theme park and.

1129
00:50:36,360 --> 00:50:38,040
Speaker 2: Hormonal emotion. I'm like a doc.

1130
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:41,040
Speaker 1: And then when she says like, sweetheart, this isn't about

1131
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,080
Speaker 1: you right now, and then I'm thinking that's that's like

1132
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 1: that's kind of like my trigger. I'm like, all right, yeah,

1133
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:47,279
Speaker 1: I know, it's not about me. I'm trying.

1134
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 2: So we've learned that those are not the right words

1135
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 2: for me to Yeah, we've learned that lots of couples therapy,

1136
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 2: not a lot too much just to rite just.

1137
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 1: I think good check ins. But it's it's obviously been

1138
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 1: very helpful for us, just because again it's like learning

1139
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:05,439
Speaker 1: how to communicate and navigate those situations.

1140
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:09,680
Speaker 2: And you know, you like keep on talking about like

1141
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:12,200
Speaker 2: the ways that you're like listening and like face to

1142
00:51:12,320 --> 00:51:15,080
Speaker 2: face and like talking and like that type of communication.

1143
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:16,719
Speaker 2: But I do honestly feel like a lot of the

1144
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:18,880
Speaker 2: times where I felt like most supported by you, and

1145
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:22,000
Speaker 2: even now it's truly like when you like, I don't know,

1146
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:23,799
Speaker 2: you like squeeze my ass while I'm doing the dinner

1147
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:25,440
Speaker 2: doing the dishes, or you like come up and you

1148
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:27,160
Speaker 2: give me a hug, or you like hold my hand

1149
00:51:27,239 --> 00:51:30,399
Speaker 2: while we're like driving to the fertility clinic. So it's

1150
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:32,680
Speaker 2: just like these little things where it's like I know

1151
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:34,600
Speaker 2: my partner is with me, and they don't even have

1152
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:37,080
Speaker 2: to be like words or like anything profound. It's just

1153
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:41,439
Speaker 2: like those are those little things matter too. So if

1154
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:44,480
Speaker 2: you if you're like a dad or husband, you're like,

1155
00:51:44,520 --> 00:51:46,520
Speaker 2: I'm not sure what to do, Like maybe just start there.

1156
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:49,799
Speaker 2: I don't know, Like it's really just about making her

1157
00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:52,840
Speaker 2: feel seen and heard and understood.

1158
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:55,360
Speaker 1: You ultimately have to know that times are going to

1159
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:56,160
Speaker 1: be rocky.

1160
00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:57,240
Speaker 2: It's gonna be hard.

1161
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:59,160
Speaker 1: Certain moments, and you're just gonna have to There's there's

1162
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:01,120
Speaker 1: no way to prepare for or other than like planning

1163
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:04,120
Speaker 1: to know that you know, shit like this is gonna happen,

1164
00:52:05,120 --> 00:52:08,440
Speaker 1: and I don't know, like removing yourself and getting out

1165
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:10,560
Speaker 1: of your own head and trying to zoom out.

1166
00:52:12,200 --> 00:52:13,840
Speaker 3: Because the tunnel of chaos.

1167
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:16,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I entered the tunnel of chaos. When Mitch says that,

1168
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:19,719
Speaker 1: it's like having trying to have like effective communication with

1169
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:23,279
Speaker 1: the right tone, right time, right place, not in the moment,

1170
00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 1: because obviously that's when things can kind of go off

1171
00:52:25,120 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 1: the rails because everybody's at their peak or whatever's going on.

1172
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:32,359
Speaker 1: And again that is still going to happen. It's a yeah,

1173
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,440
Speaker 1: it's it's weird. It's all about just trying to get

1174
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:37,640
Speaker 1: back to and being getting reconnected because again you're both

1175
00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:39,279
Speaker 1: on the same team, you both want the same thing.

1176
00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:44,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a lot more like emotional needs for sure.

1177
00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 2: For sure, but then like once we found out we

1178
00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:49,880
Speaker 2: did get pregnant, that was like an emotional moment that

1179
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:50,400
Speaker 2: was exciting.

1180
00:52:50,520 --> 00:52:52,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, talk about paint the picture when you finally get

1181
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 1: the call.

1182
00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:55,680
Speaker 2: Well yeah, I mean this is what So I remember

1183
00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:57,920
Speaker 2: being so committed. I was like, Okay, once I do

1184
00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 2: my transfer, there's essentially the two week which is like

1185
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:02,600
Speaker 2: if you're trying, if you're trying to conceive, you know

1186
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:07,840
Speaker 2: that like you essentially your egg comes down, you're like ovulating,

1187
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:10,239
Speaker 2: the sperm connects. So that's like when manufactured with the

1188
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:12,960
Speaker 2: IVF process. So then you wait, you wait to see

1189
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:14,719
Speaker 2: if the egg and plants, and then your body starts

1190
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:17,440
Speaker 2: produce producing what's the chemical that you're what I produces?

1191
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:24,400
Speaker 2: You have no idea? Can you google like pregnancy tests

1192
00:53:24,880 --> 00:53:28,240
Speaker 2: like hormone or chemical or something, So that's what pregnancy

1193
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:32,360
Speaker 2: tests will pick out. No, you're pregnant. I forgot should

1194
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 2: have my research. So you're essentially waiting. And I will say,

1195
00:53:36,239 --> 00:53:38,320
Speaker 2: the day after my transfer, I went and got acupuncture.

1196
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:40,319
Speaker 2: And I'm not like an acupuncture person. Again, I hate pain.

1197
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:43,840
Speaker 2: Acupuncture is too painful for me. But hCG that's it.

1198
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:52,320
Speaker 3: Oh geez, human, you got it, buddy, choreic gondo troping.

1199
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:57,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, So you're waiting for the HGG to show up

1200
00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 2: in your blood or in your body, and that's what

1201
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:03,680
Speaker 2: the pregnancy test will detect. So if you're pregnant, it

1202
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:06,320
Speaker 2: starts producing like small amounts and like the like the

1203
00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:09,000
Speaker 2: farther long you get, the more it produces. So you

1204
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:11,279
Speaker 2: take a pregnancy test early on, it might not show up,

1205
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:13,319
Speaker 2: but you know, by day fourteen, day ten, it might

1206
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:15,440
Speaker 2: show up because by that time your body has produced

1207
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:17,799
Speaker 2: aeno FHGG for it to be detectable by a pregnancy test,

1208
00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:20,520
Speaker 2: and I just remember being like, I'm not going to

1209
00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:22,400
Speaker 2: take any pregnancy test. I'm just gonna wait for the

1210
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:24,719
Speaker 2: blood test of fertility clinic. I'm not gonna go down

1211
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:27,080
Speaker 2: any rabbit holes. I'm just gonna chill. I'm just gonna wait.

1212
00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:29,239
Speaker 2: And I did not do that at all. It was

1213
00:54:29,400 --> 00:54:30,600
Speaker 2: I don't even know if I told you this, but

1214
00:54:30,719 --> 00:54:33,080
Speaker 2: I literally I'm not a Reddit person, but I learned

1215
00:54:33,120 --> 00:54:37,360
Speaker 2: about Reddit, and I was on the infertility reddit threads

1216
00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:41,120
Speaker 2: every night and day like all the time, so like

1217
00:54:41,920 --> 00:54:43,759
Speaker 2: it was. And then I started taking pregnancy test. I

1218
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,640
Speaker 2: think I started taking pregnancy test like at day five.

1219
00:54:46,239 --> 00:54:47,920
Speaker 2: I couldn't wait. I just couldn't do it. It was

1220
00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:50,120
Speaker 2: really it was probably unhealthy. I like had this like

1221
00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:51,960
Speaker 2: obsession with like am I pregnant or not? Because I

1222
00:54:51,960 --> 00:54:54,799
Speaker 2: remember the first one I took no line, and then

1223
00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,120
Speaker 2: I think the second one I took super faint line

1224
00:54:57,600 --> 00:54:59,600
Speaker 2: there when it's like the line kept getting a little

1225
00:54:59,640 --> 00:55:01,960
Speaker 2: bit dark, a little bit darker, so like was giving

1226
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:04,640
Speaker 2: me hope. But you still don't actually know for sure

1227
00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:08,080
Speaker 2: until you like go and do the blood test, and

1228
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:10,480
Speaker 2: then of course they want your levels to like double

1229
00:55:10,719 --> 00:55:13,520
Speaker 2: by like five days later or whatever, so you're not

1230
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:14,920
Speaker 2: like out of the clear even if you get a

1231
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:17,480
Speaker 2: positive pregnancy test. But I just I was like, so

1232
00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 2: they couldn't really think about anything else other than like,

1233
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:21,920
Speaker 2: am I pregnant? And that goes on for like ten

1234
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:25,480
Speaker 2: to fourteen days, So that was really unhealthy. Don't recommend it.

1235
00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:27,359
Speaker 2: I'm sure even if you're going through it, you might

1236
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:29,120
Speaker 2: end up doing that as well. But redd, it's a

1237
00:55:30,120 --> 00:55:32,480
Speaker 2: crazy place. There's lots of stories on there that can

1238
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:34,480
Speaker 2: be really hopeful. I think a lot of them are hopeful,

1239
00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:38,080
Speaker 2: but then a lot of them are really not helpful. Anyway,

1240
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:40,920
Speaker 2: So got the call, officially got the blood test. They

1241
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:44,000
Speaker 2: called me and said try you're pregnant, and I was

1242
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:46,560
Speaker 2: like broke down in tears. That was a really exciting moment.

1243
00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:50,840
Speaker 2: And then at that point I'm like, Okay, still nervous,

1244
00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:53,359
Speaker 2: Still nervous, And I think I just know a lot

1245
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:55,880
Speaker 2: of people who've had miscarriages or like things have happened

1246
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,879
Speaker 2: like not even first trimester, second trimester miscarriages, like things

1247
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:01,920
Speaker 2: that are like really hard. You're like, you know, really

1248
00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:04,799
Speaker 2: said on having this baby. And we got some more

1249
00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:07,399
Speaker 2: embryos that we sent off for testing. So we're like, okay,

1250
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:09,279
Speaker 2: we're in transferred this one and then we'll send away

1251
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 2: the other ones to test to keep them for later,

1252
00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:14,040
Speaker 2: like just in case we want more kids. And we

1253
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:16,680
Speaker 2: got those tests back it was maybe like I don't know,

1254
00:56:16,960 --> 00:56:20,239
Speaker 2: six to seven weeks into the pregnancy, and both that

1255
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:22,520
Speaker 2: we said are not both the eggs that we had

1256
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:26,320
Speaker 2: sent the embryos, they were all at chromosomely abnormal.

1257
00:56:27,040 --> 00:56:29,279
Speaker 1: Yeah. So this is when we were in the middle

1258
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:31,160
Speaker 1: of the spring tour, because I remember we just got

1259
00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:32,200
Speaker 1: done with the of.

1260
00:56:32,239 --> 00:56:36,359
Speaker 2: Course you're out of town again, yeah, and I called

1261
00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:37,960
Speaker 2: well and I was like, told you that they were

1262
00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:40,719
Speaker 2: both abnormal. So in my mind, I'm like, if those

1263
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:43,680
Speaker 2: are abnormal, there's absolutely no way that this one that

1264
00:56:43,719 --> 00:56:48,280
Speaker 2: implanted is also isn't abnormal. So I like am freaking

1265
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:50,719
Speaker 2: about a miscarriage like every day, and there's like this

1266
00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:53,960
Speaker 2: there's like this is like trigger warning like if anyone listening,

1267
00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:57,879
Speaker 2: but it's like there's miss miscarriages where you don't even

1268
00:56:57,920 --> 00:56:59,759
Speaker 2: know that your body miscarries and you just like go in.

1269
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:01,640
Speaker 2: There's no heart beat. So there's like all these different

1270
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:04,680
Speaker 2: things that can happen. So I was just terrified of

1271
00:57:04,719 --> 00:57:07,440
Speaker 2: having a miscarriage the whole first trimester because I'm like,

1272
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:11,080
Speaker 2: surely this one that implanted is also abnormal and we're

1273
00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:12,920
Speaker 2: going to lose it. And I don't think I've ever

1274
00:57:12,960 --> 00:57:14,719
Speaker 2: been so anxious in my life. Like just thinking back

1275
00:57:14,719 --> 00:57:16,600
Speaker 2: to that time, I'm like my skin is like tingling

1276
00:57:16,640 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 2: and I'm just like having like a full body, Like.

1277
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:19,600
Speaker 1: How long to know?

1278
00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 2: Well, You're never really, I mean the percentage of miscarriage

1279
00:57:23,160 --> 00:57:25,440
Speaker 2: goes down like with every day of preancy age, but

1280
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:27,959
Speaker 2: I would like be on that like that website would

1281
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:30,400
Speaker 2: give you the stats like you have three point four

1282
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:32,840
Speaker 2: percent chance of miscarrying, you have three point two percent

1283
00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:35,080
Speaker 2: chance of miss carrying, And it was just like again,

1284
00:57:35,200 --> 00:57:38,160
Speaker 2: super unhealthy. But I was the high, like again, most

1285
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:40,240
Speaker 2: anxious I've ever been in my whole life. Yeah, So

1286
00:57:40,280 --> 00:57:42,680
Speaker 2: I ended up going to fertility clinic like pretty much

1287
00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:44,480
Speaker 2: once a week to get an ultrasound just to check

1288
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:47,400
Speaker 2: that the baby was still there and heart was beating,

1289
00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:50,600
Speaker 2: which was like not a healthy place to be in either.

1290
00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:55,280
Speaker 2: So the emotional rollercoaster continued after even after I got pregnant,

1291
00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:58,440
Speaker 2: which I like, I feel like I remember telling you

1292
00:57:58,480 --> 00:58:01,400
Speaker 2: about this, but like you didn't feel these feelings, did you.

1293
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:04,480
Speaker 1: I don't know with the abnormal chromosome.

1294
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:06,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, with like the abnormal embryos that we got to test.

1295
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:09,600
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean you're just personally it's like I'm just stressed,

1296
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:12,400
Speaker 1: like hoping everything goes smooth. I think you're somebody who

1297
00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:16,200
Speaker 1: you're very sensitive and hyper aware to all the things

1298
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:17,640
Speaker 1: that can kind of go on and how hard it

1299
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:19,960
Speaker 1: is to get pregnant and stay pregnant, be pregnant, all

1300
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:22,560
Speaker 1: that stuff with all your friends and stories that we've heard,

1301
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:25,560
Speaker 1: and again you're very like you're very in tune with that,

1302
00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:27,440
Speaker 1: very sensitive about it to where hey, well don't talk

1303
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:30,479
Speaker 1: about this, don't don't say too much now, blah blah blah.

1304
00:58:31,400 --> 00:58:34,000
Speaker 1: And so I think for me, it's like I'm just

1305
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:36,280
Speaker 1: hoping for the best, because again I'm not going through

1306
00:58:36,320 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 1: all this stuff, like I'm not on the reddits, I'm

1307
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:43,280
Speaker 1: not cling to podcasts to do all that stuff. I'm

1308
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:47,800
Speaker 1: just thinking, like, you know, how can I, I guess, help,

1309
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:50,280
Speaker 1: how can I support? Like what do you need out

1310
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:52,120
Speaker 1: of me? And some things, it's like you feel like

1311
00:58:52,680 --> 00:58:55,400
Speaker 1: you can't help with certain situations outside of just like

1312
00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:57,600
Speaker 1: listening to you if you like try to have the

1313
00:58:57,640 --> 00:59:00,439
Speaker 1: conversations and talk and it's like, you know, there's there's

1314
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:03,920
Speaker 1: you do you feel like feel helpless, Like you can't.

1315
00:59:04,560 --> 00:59:05,680
Speaker 1: I don't know, you can't.

1316
00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:07,120
Speaker 2: Like I felt really helpless.

1317
00:59:07,320 --> 00:59:11,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's like there's really nothing that I would

1318
00:59:11,160 --> 00:59:13,160
Speaker 1: feel at times. There's just like nothing that I can

1319
00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:16,720
Speaker 1: do other than try and stay optimistic. So I think

1320
00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:18,520
Speaker 1: for me it was like my stress was more of

1321
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:21,200
Speaker 1: like feeling yours and like wanting to wear yours and

1322
00:59:21,280 --> 00:59:23,720
Speaker 1: trying to be like a solid foundation or be optimistic

1323
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:25,840
Speaker 1: and all these you know, if it hits this day,

1324
00:59:25,880 --> 00:59:28,280
Speaker 1: it goes down to this percentage. Like you hear about

1325
00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:31,200
Speaker 1: the abnormal chromosomes, it's like, well maybe maybe ours is

1326
00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:34,320
Speaker 1: maybe are stuck, like maybe ours didn't have an abnormal chromosome.

1327
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:37,360
Speaker 1: Like you're just trying to talk more optimistically then like

1328
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:41,320
Speaker 1: live in the living the fear of what could could.

1329
00:59:41,720 --> 00:59:45,680
Speaker 1: But it's phone, right, but you still get off the phone,

1330
00:59:45,720 --> 00:59:47,760
Speaker 1: and it's just like, man, I hope this goes off,

1331
00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:50,200
Speaker 1: this goes smooth, because again it's like I would come

1332
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:53,160
Speaker 1: across dad's or I would come across friends that maybe

1333
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:55,360
Speaker 1: their their wife was pregnant and then you learn that

1334
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:57,160
Speaker 1: they're going through IVF two, and that's where it was

1335
00:59:57,240 --> 00:59:59,040
Speaker 1: kind of like, oh, snap, like you're you're going through

1336
00:59:59,080 --> 01:00:01,240
Speaker 1: this process too, and you feel like it's something that's

1337
01:00:01,280 --> 01:00:03,040
Speaker 1: not necessarily talked about. But then when I would come

1338
01:00:03,040 --> 01:00:07,480
Speaker 1: across friends who were currently going through it, you're kind

1339
01:00:07,520 --> 01:00:09,840
Speaker 1: of like vibing with them over the storytelling, and again

1340
01:00:09,880 --> 01:00:12,520
Speaker 1: you just become more sensitive and aware that some people

1341
01:00:12,560 --> 01:00:14,959
Speaker 1: are on like different cycles, they've tried X amount of times,

1342
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:16,840
Speaker 1: Like out a buddy, it's like, hey, this our eighth

1343
01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:18,960
Speaker 1: time trying. I had another buddy, it's like they went

1344
01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:21,720
Speaker 1: through five. And you go through all of these things

1345
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:24,560
Speaker 1: to where you know you're more of just like you're

1346
01:00:24,600 --> 01:00:27,320
Speaker 1: more just connecting with somebody over the process. And then

1347
01:00:27,360 --> 01:00:30,480
Speaker 1: you realize, Okay, we're in our first one and we

1348
01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:31,920
Speaker 1: have a lot of fears that are going on with

1349
01:00:32,120 --> 01:00:34,840
Speaker 1: us right now, but it could be way worse. So

1350
01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:38,520
Speaker 1: then you're again it's like you know it again, You're

1351
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:40,240
Speaker 1: thinking to yourself like, oh, this could be way worse

1352
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:42,280
Speaker 1: in our situation we're going through for the first time.

1353
01:00:42,320 --> 01:00:44,200
Speaker 1: I'm still gonna be hopeful and if it does go well,

1354
01:00:44,280 --> 01:00:47,160
Speaker 1: you're just like we're very lucky that it goes well

1355
01:00:47,200 --> 01:00:49,320
Speaker 1: the first time because Scotty was We were able to

1356
01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:51,840
Speaker 1: have Scotty the first time around on IVF. And again,

1357
01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:53,640
Speaker 1: you're aware that there's so many other stories that go

1358
01:00:53,760 --> 01:00:56,200
Speaker 1: on to where they're way worse than your situation. So

1359
01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:58,120
Speaker 1: when you're like feeling down or you're feeling stressed out

1360
01:00:58,120 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 1: and you're kind of talking to talking to one of

1361
01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:01,840
Speaker 1: your boys about them going through the process and you're

1362
01:01:01,880 --> 01:01:04,080
Speaker 1: learning about theirs, and it's like, you know, your heart,

1363
01:01:04,320 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 1: you're just like you start to root for them, hoping that,

1364
01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:10,760
Speaker 1: you know, we stay on track with our things. So, yeah,

1365
01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:12,840
Speaker 1: it's just a lot of different a lot of different emotions,

1366
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:15,080
Speaker 1: a lot of different feelings, a lot of different stresses, and.

1367
01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:17,640
Speaker 2: In so much uncertainty.

1368
01:01:17,800 --> 01:01:19,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, so much uncertainty that you just try and work

1369
01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:20,320
Speaker 1: through in the moment.

1370
01:01:21,000 --> 01:01:24,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's life, right, Yeah, Yeah, yeah, it is.

1371
01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:26,439
Speaker 1: It is life. Because again, it's like we were lucky

1372
01:01:26,560 --> 01:01:29,960
Speaker 1: enough to now looking back, we understand how lucky we

1373
01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:32,240
Speaker 1: are that we were able to you were able to

1374
01:01:32,360 --> 01:01:35,520
Speaker 1: conceive our secondary child with Scotty.

1375
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:40,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then obviously she's healthy and she's here.

1376
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:43,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, then we get the delivery day right. So after

1377
01:01:43,880 --> 01:01:46,960
Speaker 1: again we we we briefed on the first pregnancy with

1378
01:01:47,080 --> 01:01:50,200
Speaker 1: what happened with Rue, so we kind of which was

1379
01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:53,120
Speaker 1: weird to kind of schedule out Scotty's birthday. You always

1380
01:01:53,120 --> 01:01:54,680
Speaker 1: had a problem with which day should she come with that,

1381
01:01:54,960 --> 01:01:57,200
Speaker 1: just like as long as it's not as long as

1382
01:01:57,240 --> 01:01:58,360
Speaker 1: it's not on Monday.

1383
01:01:58,200 --> 01:02:00,640
Speaker 2: Or or the way you did want her to come

1384
01:02:00,720 --> 01:02:05,040
Speaker 2: on the weekend because football. I'm like, if we can

1385
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:06,760
Speaker 2: plan this out, and I was like, ru was born

1386
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:08,560
Speaker 2: on a Sunday. Was have Scotty born on a Sunday?

1387
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:13,400
Speaker 1: And You're like, no, no, football, you at the pod

1388
01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:16,880
Speaker 1: the next day. Then we kind of you kind of

1389
01:02:16,880 --> 01:02:20,280
Speaker 1: schedule out the sea section because again it's like, well, let's.

1390
01:02:20,040 --> 01:02:21,880
Speaker 2: Not change it, Like, oh yeah, I mean she she

1391
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:24,040
Speaker 2: gave me the opportunity to be back. Be back is

1392
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:27,240
Speaker 2: vaginal birth after cesarean. So it's like, but I'm like,

1393
01:02:27,320 --> 01:02:30,479
Speaker 2: do I really want that? I don't know why open

1394
01:02:30,560 --> 01:02:31,040
Speaker 2: both doors?

1395
01:02:31,520 --> 01:02:31,680
Speaker 4: Right?

1396
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:36,400
Speaker 2: So we scheduled the sea section and I like am

1397
01:02:36,440 --> 01:02:39,600
Speaker 2: still not like super pumped about that decision, but it

1398
01:02:39,720 --> 01:02:42,160
Speaker 2: happened and it's over. So it's like, you know, part

1399
01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:42,960
Speaker 2: of my story.

1400
01:02:43,800 --> 01:02:46,360
Speaker 1: With that situation kind of just going like it's a doctor's.

1401
01:02:46,160 --> 01:02:47,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was crazy, it was like kind of clinical.

1402
01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:48,280
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1403
01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:51,040
Speaker 2: And then I do remember remember that intern was trying

1404
01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:53,640
Speaker 2: to like watch in and they asked my permission to

1405
01:02:53,640 --> 01:02:58,720
Speaker 2: see if she could just like not an intern, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

1406
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:00,640
Speaker 2: she was trying to just like watch and learn and

1407
01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:03,360
Speaker 2: they asked my permission and I said no, And I

1408
01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:05,800
Speaker 2: was like why'd you say no? And I'm like, I'm like,

1409
01:03:05,880 --> 01:03:07,680
Speaker 2: this is my birth. I get to choose who's going

1410
01:03:07,760 --> 01:03:09,560
Speaker 2: to be there. And you very much did not like

1411
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:11,200
Speaker 2: understand that. You're kind of like mad.

1412
01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:13,960
Speaker 1: I mean no, no, no, no, I didn't like get mad.

1413
01:03:14,040 --> 01:03:16,640
Speaker 1: I did get like, trust me, I feel you. But

1414
01:03:16,880 --> 01:03:18,800
Speaker 1: they're like trying to like learn on the job and

1415
01:03:18,840 --> 01:03:21,640
Speaker 1: all they're doing is like sitting in to observe. But

1416
01:03:22,600 --> 01:03:26,480
Speaker 1: you're right, it is your birth, I know.

1417
01:03:26,800 --> 01:03:29,920
Speaker 2: Like I mean every time I get the ore, I

1418
01:03:30,080 --> 01:03:32,360
Speaker 2: just like basically like start crying because I like am

1419
01:03:32,480 --> 01:03:34,640
Speaker 2: just so overcome with like so that's like a it's

1420
01:03:34,640 --> 01:03:38,040
Speaker 2: like fear anyway, like something could go wrong, Like now

1421
01:03:38,080 --> 01:03:40,240
Speaker 2: I have a daughter, Like I'm sitting on this operating table.

1422
01:03:40,360 --> 01:03:43,880
Speaker 2: Anything could happen, and this is like I don't know.

1423
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:46,760
Speaker 2: It's like birth is scary, like people like birth is insane.

1424
01:03:47,880 --> 01:03:51,720
Speaker 2: It can be really dangerous. So regardless, I would feel

1425
01:03:51,720 --> 01:03:53,560
Speaker 2: like I was not very much in control of ruse birth.

1426
01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:56,560
Speaker 2: It would like lasted forever, nothing but his planned. So

1427
01:03:56,600 --> 01:03:58,479
Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, I'm going to at least control who's

1428
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:01,200
Speaker 2: in this room with us. Yeah, which I feel like,

1429
01:04:01,400 --> 01:04:03,680
Speaker 2: you know, if if they ask you, then you can

1430
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:05,240
Speaker 2: say no, you know what I mean, Like, I don't know.

1431
01:04:05,320 --> 01:04:07,560
Speaker 2: Sometimes I almost felt like I should have said yes,

1432
01:04:07,680 --> 01:04:09,200
Speaker 2: Like I felt a little bit like, oh, I should

1433
01:04:09,240 --> 01:04:11,120
Speaker 2: just let her, but I didn't. I was like, no,

1434
01:04:11,320 --> 01:04:14,240
Speaker 2: I don't want you here, and you're like giving me

1435
01:04:14,320 --> 01:04:15,880
Speaker 2: shit for it. But I'm like I made the right choice.

1436
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:23,680
Speaker 2: It's cool, but yeah, pretty clinical. I'm sorry to all

1437
01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:25,000
Speaker 2: the pas out there trying to learn.

1438
01:04:25,080 --> 01:04:27,160
Speaker 1: I just feel bad for the PA Like they're standing.

1439
01:04:26,880 --> 01:04:30,000
Speaker 5: There and I was like, no, she's like just literally

1440
01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:32,120
Speaker 5: standing right there, Like did you at least ask her

1441
01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:37,680
Speaker 5: when she's like outside of the room, Yeah she was born?

1442
01:04:37,840 --> 01:04:38,200
Speaker 2: No Nick?

1443
01:04:38,280 --> 01:04:39,640
Speaker 1: You yeah, no, Nick.

1444
01:04:39,800 --> 01:04:42,919
Speaker 2: We got to like hang out with her afterwards, calm.

1445
01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:45,920
Speaker 2: It was just like, yeah, I only had no they

1446
01:04:45,960 --> 01:04:48,320
Speaker 2: didn't have to do my ivy more than once. It's Rue.

1447
01:04:48,360 --> 01:04:51,000
Speaker 2: I had six ivy pokes. It was awful. I hate

1448
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:55,040
Speaker 2: IV's and then Scotty was only two, right, yeah, something

1449
01:04:55,080 --> 01:04:58,960
Speaker 2: like just little little winds. But then I had all

1450
01:04:58,960 --> 01:05:01,000
Speaker 2: these like I had some complicate asians afterwards where I

1451
01:05:01,080 --> 01:05:06,280
Speaker 2: was in crazy pain with Rue. It it was like

1452
01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:09,720
Speaker 2: in my shoulder, dude. It's like we talked forever my

1453
01:05:09,840 --> 01:05:13,400
Speaker 2: birth stories. Shout out women, shout out mothers giving birth

1454
01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:23,160
Speaker 2: because yeah, yeah, this is the mother's podcast. Shout out.

1455
01:05:26,360 --> 01:05:28,120
Speaker 1: Because when the nerve stuff was going on, that's when

1456
01:05:28,160 --> 01:05:31,320
Speaker 1: that clip was going viral about me talking about my stats. Yeah,

1457
01:05:31,640 --> 01:05:32,600
Speaker 1: what I learned about myself.

1458
01:05:33,080 --> 01:05:35,040
Speaker 2: There was the pain and then there was the nerve pain.

1459
01:05:35,880 --> 01:05:39,000
Speaker 1: Yeah. The gas pain was crazy because.

1460
01:05:38,880 --> 01:05:40,880
Speaker 2: It's like in my shoulder and like in my rib

1461
01:05:41,080 --> 01:05:41,680
Speaker 2: it was wild.

1462
01:05:41,880 --> 01:05:43,560
Speaker 1: It was it was crazy kid in the button. I'm

1463
01:05:43,560 --> 01:05:45,520
Speaker 1: like yelling for hey, hey, something's happening.

1464
01:05:47,080 --> 01:05:49,520
Speaker 4: I remember you coming into the shop, like Charles just

1465
01:05:50,080 --> 01:05:51,920
Speaker 4: doubled over in pain right now, and I have no

1466
01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:52,800
Speaker 4: idea what to do.

1467
01:05:56,120 --> 01:05:58,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I gotta lean on my boys in times of christ.

1468
01:05:58,640 --> 01:06:00,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, you need your support network.

1469
01:06:00,440 --> 01:06:04,960
Speaker 1: Two yeah, yeah, what.

1470
01:06:07,160 --> 01:06:07,560
Speaker 3: Questions?

1471
01:06:10,240 --> 01:06:12,280
Speaker 1: Let me see here we talked about the impact on

1472
01:06:12,320 --> 01:06:15,600
Speaker 1: the relationship, how we feel I've affected the communication, intimacy,

1473
01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:16,360
Speaker 1: and stress.

1474
01:06:16,640 --> 01:06:19,520
Speaker 2: Love you your outline, babe, here here's one.

1475
01:06:19,760 --> 01:06:23,240
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you what do you feel like? What

1476
01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:24,760
Speaker 1: do we feel like? We learned about each other in

1477
01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:25,320
Speaker 1: the process.

1478
01:06:27,640 --> 01:06:31,760
Speaker 2: I really I understand how and why infertility can tear

1479
01:06:31,920 --> 01:06:32,600
Speaker 2: couples apart.

1480
01:06:32,840 --> 01:06:33,000
Speaker 3: I do.

1481
01:06:33,880 --> 01:06:37,320
Speaker 2: It's like it's such as like pressure filled, like it's

1482
01:06:37,400 --> 01:06:39,720
Speaker 2: like a It's just there's so much pressure right like

1483
01:06:39,920 --> 01:06:42,520
Speaker 2: we like you want so badly to expand your family

1484
01:06:42,640 --> 01:06:45,800
Speaker 2: or to have your for whatever it is, and you

1485
01:06:45,960 --> 01:06:48,880
Speaker 2: like both feel like accountable, and there's also like easy

1486
01:06:48,960 --> 01:06:51,120
Speaker 2: ways to make be able to make it feel like

1487
01:06:51,600 --> 01:06:54,640
Speaker 2: like about blame so like there's not the right communication

1488
01:06:55,360 --> 01:06:56,720
Speaker 2: or if you're not on the same page to begin with,

1489
01:06:56,760 --> 01:06:59,160
Speaker 2: I think you'll have this like strong foundation, which.

1490
01:06:59,000 --> 01:06:59,800
Speaker 1: I think we have.

1491
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:04,040
Speaker 2: I feel like it's so easy for this to truly

1492
01:07:04,120 --> 01:07:07,040
Speaker 2: tear people apart, or like maybe this is like the

1493
01:07:07,120 --> 01:07:08,600
Speaker 2: only thing we have in common and we realize we

1494
01:07:08,640 --> 01:07:10,479
Speaker 2: have nothing in common anymore. All we want is a baby,

1495
01:07:10,520 --> 01:07:12,440
Speaker 2: and we can't say we're having such a hard time

1496
01:07:12,560 --> 01:07:17,360
Speaker 2: getting one, and I don't know, so like I get

1497
01:07:17,400 --> 01:07:21,160
Speaker 2: why it's so hard on couples, and I'm very like

1498
01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:24,520
Speaker 2: thankful that we were able to like figure it out somehow,

1499
01:07:24,560 --> 01:07:26,280
Speaker 2: Like I don't think we have any like magic answers,

1500
01:07:26,320 --> 01:07:29,800
Speaker 2: but like we navigated it. Yeah, that's not like awareness,

1501
01:07:29,840 --> 01:07:30,680
Speaker 2: there's not a formula.

1502
01:07:31,360 --> 01:07:38,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I feel like like looking back on that process,

1503
01:07:38,320 --> 01:07:40,240
Speaker 1: like I know, you were in and you were stressing

1504
01:07:40,280 --> 01:07:41,560
Speaker 1: out a lot, and you were going through it because

1505
01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:43,240
Speaker 1: you were very you know, you had a lot of

1506
01:07:43,280 --> 01:07:45,200
Speaker 1: pressure on yourself because when you have to go to

1507
01:07:45,400 --> 01:07:49,240
Speaker 1: the alternatives for fertility, you're like you're like frustrated and

1508
01:07:49,600 --> 01:07:52,680
Speaker 1: you feel guilty that your your body's not working the

1509
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:55,400
Speaker 1: way that it should naturally. So that's like a pressure.

1510
01:07:55,520 --> 01:07:58,000
Speaker 1: But it's like watching you go through it all like

1511
01:07:58,160 --> 01:08:02,480
Speaker 1: you just I don't know, I admire it. I admire

1512
01:08:02,600 --> 01:08:04,640
Speaker 1: like how you handled a lot of the stuff. And again,

1513
01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:07,000
Speaker 1: there were tough times, there were hard times. But again,

1514
01:08:07,120 --> 01:08:10,919
Speaker 1: like I know, you're somebody who, like, as a working woman,

1515
01:08:10,960 --> 01:08:13,800
Speaker 1: you take your career and everything that you do very seriously.

1516
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:16,880
Speaker 1: So seeing you have to pivot, like in those hard times,

1517
01:08:16,920 --> 01:08:18,519
Speaker 1: like when you had to cancel stuff or we didn't

1518
01:08:18,520 --> 01:08:20,200
Speaker 1: get to do things, I know that that stuff was

1519
01:08:20,240 --> 01:08:24,559
Speaker 1: really hard on you, but just like watching it from Afar,

1520
01:08:24,680 --> 01:08:26,840
Speaker 1: I feel like you did a really good job handling it,

1521
01:08:27,520 --> 01:08:29,680
Speaker 1: and even when there was pressure on us at times,

1522
01:08:29,720 --> 01:08:31,160
Speaker 1: I feel like we always did a good job of

1523
01:08:31,320 --> 01:08:34,880
Speaker 1: finding our way back to communicating well because you would,

1524
01:08:35,360 --> 01:08:37,160
Speaker 1: you would do a great job of calling out It's like,

1525
01:08:37,200 --> 01:08:38,880
Speaker 1: you know, I might have my own stuff going on

1526
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:40,719
Speaker 1: to where I think to myself, I could have handled

1527
01:08:40,760 --> 01:08:42,639
Speaker 1: that differently. But I also feel like you were very

1528
01:08:43,439 --> 01:08:47,800
Speaker 1: aware of when your like emotions are getting the best

1529
01:08:47,840 --> 01:08:49,880
Speaker 1: of you, or you can point the figure out the

1530
01:08:49,920 --> 01:08:51,720
Speaker 1: hormones and you just you just you were able to

1531
01:08:51,760 --> 01:08:54,720
Speaker 1: come back and community. Like the communication aspect I thought was,

1532
01:08:55,560 --> 01:08:58,240
Speaker 1: I thought you handled it well. I thought you were

1533
01:08:58,800 --> 01:09:01,640
Speaker 1: a stud in the threat the entire journey, because there

1534
01:09:01,680 --> 01:09:03,400
Speaker 1: were a lot of hard times, a lot of hard moments.

1535
01:09:04,040 --> 01:09:06,240
Speaker 2: Yeah. I do remember very specifically though, when the nurse

1536
01:09:06,360 --> 01:09:08,800
Speaker 2: was like, Hey, if you want to go on this

1537
01:09:08,880 --> 01:09:10,680
Speaker 2: work trip, then we can just push another month, Like

1538
01:09:10,760 --> 01:09:12,200
Speaker 2: we can just start next month. They just make it

1539
01:09:12,240 --> 01:09:14,280
Speaker 2: so nonchalant, They're like, we're just start next month, And

1540
01:09:14,280 --> 01:09:15,760
Speaker 2: in my mind, like I'm like that's the last thing

1541
01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:17,560
Speaker 2: I want. But she did give me a choice. She's like,

1542
01:09:17,560 --> 01:09:18,640
Speaker 2: if you want to go on this work trip and

1543
01:09:18,680 --> 01:09:20,920
Speaker 2: it's important to you, then go on it and we'll

1544
01:09:20,960 --> 01:09:22,679
Speaker 2: just do it when you get back. So I remember

1545
01:09:22,720 --> 01:09:24,320
Speaker 2: I came home and I was like, oh, I'm really

1546
01:09:24,360 --> 01:09:26,320
Speaker 2: torn on what to do, because like I really value

1547
01:09:26,320 --> 01:09:27,920
Speaker 2: my career. I feel like I've been working on this

1548
01:09:28,160 --> 01:09:30,280
Speaker 2: like one thing for a while, and I was pumped

1549
01:09:30,439 --> 01:09:32,640
Speaker 2: to do it. And I remember like going for a

1550
01:09:32,720 --> 01:09:36,360
Speaker 2: walk and I listened to a podcast and I and

1551
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:39,519
Speaker 2: then I took Rid to the playground and I kind

1552
01:09:39,560 --> 01:09:42,920
Speaker 2: of like digested the podcast and I like really sat

1553
01:09:42,960 --> 01:09:44,360
Speaker 2: with it. I'm like, do I want to go on

1554
01:09:44,400 --> 01:09:49,280
Speaker 2: this work trip or do I want to prioritize doing

1555
01:09:49,320 --> 01:09:52,720
Speaker 2: IVF sooner? And I landed on prioritizing IVF sooner. And

1556
01:09:52,800 --> 01:09:55,479
Speaker 2: I think that was like a hard like moment for

1557
01:09:55,640 --> 01:09:57,760
Speaker 2: me where it's like I had to I truly had

1558
01:09:57,800 --> 01:10:00,360
Speaker 2: to sit with myself and make a choice what is

1559
01:10:00,400 --> 01:10:02,639
Speaker 2: most important to me in this exact moment in time,

1560
01:10:03,640 --> 01:10:05,519
Speaker 2: because it felt like it's like a trade off, right,

1561
01:10:05,600 --> 01:10:10,640
Speaker 2: like you, I couldn't have both things, so kind of

1562
01:10:10,720 --> 01:10:13,160
Speaker 2: like what you're saying, like thank you for like maybe

1563
01:10:13,280 --> 01:10:17,160
Speaker 2: noticing that like and saying you admire it. But like you,

1564
01:10:17,600 --> 01:10:19,120
Speaker 2: I feel like as a woman, I really had to

1565
01:10:19,240 --> 01:10:22,160
Speaker 2: like choose and it's unfair, but it's just how it is.

1566
01:10:22,720 --> 01:10:26,479
Speaker 2: So it's getting clear on my priorities. I think it

1567
01:10:26,560 --> 01:10:28,840
Speaker 2: was hard to be honest with myself, Like if I'm

1568
01:10:28,880 --> 01:10:31,639
Speaker 2: choosing this, does that mean I value career any less?

1569
01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:34,200
Speaker 2: Does this mean I love my job any less? And

1570
01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:36,880
Speaker 2: I don't think I do, But in that moment, that

1571
01:10:37,040 --> 01:10:39,560
Speaker 2: was like what was needed for me. So it's and

1572
01:10:39,640 --> 01:10:41,040
Speaker 2: I just had to like sit with myself for a

1573
01:10:41,120 --> 01:10:45,080
Speaker 2: second and like understand, there's so many factors happening right now.

1574
01:10:45,680 --> 01:10:50,679
Speaker 2: I don't know what's going to happen, but you thinks

1575
01:10:51,240 --> 01:10:53,439
Speaker 2: because it just I don't know. Like you, I feel

1576
01:10:53,439 --> 01:10:55,479
Speaker 2: like you were like kind of like recognizing that that

1577
01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:59,640
Speaker 2: it was really hard. I don't know who's going with

1578
01:10:59,680 --> 01:11:00,360
Speaker 2: that tough.

1579
01:11:00,840 --> 01:11:02,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you also did a good job too. Like

1580
01:11:02,960 --> 01:11:04,679
Speaker 1: again I talked about like the guilt of like doing

1581
01:11:04,680 --> 01:11:06,280
Speaker 1: all the stuff that we get to do, like travel,

1582
01:11:06,320 --> 01:11:08,960
Speaker 1: and you do all these things to where like, man,

1583
01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:11,120
Speaker 1: should I opt out of doing this because I should

1584
01:11:11,160 --> 01:11:13,639
Speaker 1: be home and I should be doing you know, these things,

1585
01:11:13,720 --> 01:11:15,320
Speaker 1: And some options. It's like when it came to it,

1586
01:11:15,400 --> 01:11:16,920
Speaker 1: it's like, hey, what's more important? It'd be like I

1587
01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:19,120
Speaker 1: was staying home at this point. But I just feel

1588
01:11:19,160 --> 01:11:20,960
Speaker 1: like with the stuff that we get to do, you're

1589
01:11:20,960 --> 01:11:24,720
Speaker 1: always very like you're always as level headed as you

1590
01:11:24,760 --> 01:11:26,320
Speaker 1: can be and as grace as you could be about

1591
01:11:26,360 --> 01:11:28,479
Speaker 1: a tour. You never you never put me in a

1592
01:11:28,520 --> 01:11:31,760
Speaker 1: spot to where I'm like choosing between two things, or

1593
01:11:31,800 --> 01:11:33,840
Speaker 1: you never put me in a spot to I should

1594
01:11:33,840 --> 01:11:35,160
Speaker 1: feel guilty for you to do this.

1595
01:11:35,240 --> 01:11:37,160
Speaker 2: Because I feel like that could be again easy to do,

1596
01:11:37,439 --> 01:11:40,439
Speaker 2: Like I can just it's unfair. I recognize that it's

1597
01:11:40,479 --> 01:11:42,360
Speaker 2: not going to be just between the two of us,

1598
01:11:43,160 --> 01:11:44,720
Speaker 2: and I can like resent that and like take it

1599
01:11:44,760 --> 01:11:46,920
Speaker 2: out on you, or I could like try to really

1600
01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:51,600
Speaker 2: like dig deep. Yeah yeah, I don't know, but I

1601
01:11:51,720 --> 01:11:53,680
Speaker 2: was just impressed with we were strong, we got this,

1602
01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:54,360
Speaker 2: We did it.

1603
01:11:54,600 --> 01:11:56,080
Speaker 1: What do you wish someone had told you at the

1604
01:11:56,120 --> 01:11:58,200
Speaker 1: start before I vif?

1605
01:11:58,640 --> 01:12:01,559
Speaker 2: It's funny because I actually look back to I reached

1606
01:12:01,560 --> 01:12:04,639
Speaker 2: out to this girl. I know, I'm not gonna say

1607
01:12:04,640 --> 01:12:07,160
Speaker 2: her name, but she's in organ and she had gone

1608
01:12:07,200 --> 01:12:09,000
Speaker 2: through IVF and I knew that she had gone through it,

1609
01:12:09,280 --> 01:12:11,080
Speaker 2: and I reached out to her before I started the

1610
01:12:11,120 --> 01:12:14,640
Speaker 2: process and just like anything you can give me. And

1611
01:12:14,840 --> 01:12:18,240
Speaker 2: one of the first things she told me was like, essentially,

1612
01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:20,720
Speaker 2: whatever timeline you have in your head, let go of it.

1613
01:12:21,920 --> 01:12:25,200
Speaker 2: And easier said than done, clearly, because in my mind

1614
01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:26,880
Speaker 2: I still had a timeline. But I can, like looking

1615
01:12:26,960 --> 01:12:28,920
Speaker 2: back now, I can see why that is like the

1616
01:12:29,040 --> 01:12:32,320
Speaker 2: most helpful advice. It's like, yes, you want to be

1617
01:12:32,400 --> 01:12:35,960
Speaker 2: pregnant yesterday, and okay, you're taking this step in the

1618
01:12:36,040 --> 01:12:39,400
Speaker 2: right direction or in this direction where there's some type

1619
01:12:39,439 --> 01:12:45,120
Speaker 2: of semblance of control and like education and hope it's

1620
01:12:45,160 --> 01:12:49,120
Speaker 2: gonna it's not over right, so like like over the

1621
01:12:49,160 --> 01:12:50,960
Speaker 2: timeline in your brain and that'll just kind of like

1622
01:12:51,160 --> 01:12:55,200
Speaker 2: make everything feel a little bit less pressure cooker, which

1623
01:12:55,240 --> 01:12:58,240
Speaker 2: I did try to do actively in the moment didn't

1624
01:12:58,240 --> 01:13:00,920
Speaker 2: always work. But that's what I would say to anyone,

1625
01:13:01,040 --> 01:13:02,880
Speaker 2: and that's what I would not that I wish someone

1626
01:13:02,920 --> 01:13:04,799
Speaker 2: said to me, because they did and it's helpful.

1627
01:13:06,320 --> 01:13:08,400
Speaker 1: I need a quick break to go to the bathroom before.

1628
01:13:08,160 --> 01:13:09,040
Speaker 2: We get into the parenting things.

1629
01:13:09,080 --> 01:13:12,800
Speaker 1: I say one more thing, yes, please, before we get

1630
01:13:12,840 --> 01:13:15,240
Speaker 1: into the parenting fun fun question.

1631
01:13:15,280 --> 01:13:18,439
Speaker 2: You didn't ask me this, but I feel like if

1632
01:13:18,479 --> 01:13:21,599
Speaker 2: I were to like try to give advice to someone

1633
01:13:21,600 --> 01:13:24,080
Speaker 2: who's like in this right now, not again, not that

1634
01:13:24,120 --> 01:13:26,240
Speaker 2: I know all the answers, only seek through my experience.

1635
01:13:27,800 --> 01:13:30,960
Speaker 2: Just like celebrate the small the little victories, like the

1636
01:13:31,080 --> 01:13:34,720
Speaker 2: little wins, like IVF is a long process, and I

1637
01:13:34,880 --> 01:13:37,959
Speaker 2: just remember having there there were two people, two girlfriends

1638
01:13:38,040 --> 01:13:40,280
Speaker 2: I reached out to you, like two people outside of

1639
01:13:40,320 --> 01:13:42,800
Speaker 2: your partner who you can like celebrate the little things with,

1640
01:13:42,880 --> 01:13:44,800
Speaker 2: who like know what you're going through and you can

1641
01:13:44,880 --> 01:13:47,719
Speaker 2: support you in like really tiny ways. But I remember

1642
01:13:50,040 --> 01:13:52,320
Speaker 2: after we got a retriever results and we got X

1643
01:13:52,439 --> 01:13:55,960
Speaker 2: number of eggs, I messages person, I'm like, hey, we

1644
01:13:56,040 --> 01:13:58,160
Speaker 2: got this number of eggs, little win, and then she

1645
01:13:58,200 --> 01:14:00,479
Speaker 2: would celebrate with me. And then when we find out

1646
01:14:00,520 --> 01:14:02,840
Speaker 2: how many embers we got, I like sent her that number.

1647
01:14:02,920 --> 01:14:05,559
Speaker 2: So just like these little things like they're not actually

1648
01:14:06,040 --> 01:14:08,360
Speaker 2: you having a baby, but there are like little steps

1649
01:14:08,400 --> 01:14:11,479
Speaker 2: along the way to acknowledge, like to find like the

1650
01:14:11,600 --> 01:14:15,320
Speaker 2: light and the hope in the process that I feel

1651
01:14:15,320 --> 01:14:18,840
Speaker 2: like that was such a like helpful. Those are like

1652
01:14:18,920 --> 01:14:21,240
Speaker 2: little moments that I like look back on, I'm like, wow,

1653
01:14:21,680 --> 01:14:23,720
Speaker 2: that was it. I'm so happy. I celebrated that in

1654
01:14:23,800 --> 01:14:28,240
Speaker 2: that moment, because again, it can potentially be really long

1655
01:14:28,360 --> 01:14:31,360
Speaker 2: and it can be really hard, So taking them little

1656
01:14:31,400 --> 01:14:32,080
Speaker 2: winds along the way.

1657
01:14:33,240 --> 01:14:37,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like just figuring out how to externally communicate stuff.

1658
01:14:37,880 --> 01:14:40,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then with your partners just like totally communicate. Yeah.

1659
01:14:40,520 --> 01:14:43,559
Speaker 2: If you keep it all inside, it's like, yeah, it's useless.

1660
01:14:44,080 --> 01:14:46,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, you just it sits inside and you stir on

1661
01:14:46,680 --> 01:14:51,880
Speaker 1: and everything else. I love that. Shall we get into

1662
01:14:52,040 --> 01:14:57,120
Speaker 1: the that's funny, I say, I have fun parenting questions

1663
01:14:57,200 --> 01:14:59,760
Speaker 1: the spotlight Mother's Day, but they are still just about you.

1664
01:15:00,640 --> 01:15:04,000
Speaker 1: I'll read a few, and then our boy mentioned in

1665
01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:07,560
Speaker 1: the back he can take over. How has being a

1666
01:15:07,720 --> 01:15:09,240
Speaker 1: mom changed you?

1667
01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:13,559
Speaker 2: It's so funny, I feel. I try to think about

1668
01:15:13,600 --> 01:15:16,560
Speaker 2: the answers cities on the way here and maybe I

1669
01:15:16,560 --> 01:15:17,880
Speaker 2: sho'll ask you, how's it change me? Babe?

1670
01:15:19,040 --> 01:15:27,160
Speaker 1: Oh great questions, sweetheart. I think similarly we've touched on it.

1671
01:15:27,240 --> 01:15:29,479
Speaker 1: We're very much people who like to be in control,

1672
01:15:30,400 --> 01:15:35,160
Speaker 1: and when you have little ones like that's you ultimately

1673
01:15:35,320 --> 01:15:37,280
Speaker 1: have to let that go. Like you can put structure,

1674
01:15:37,400 --> 01:15:39,160
Speaker 1: you can do all the things where you want them to.

1675
01:15:39,360 --> 01:15:41,360
Speaker 1: You want to raise them to be great human beings,

1676
01:15:41,439 --> 01:15:44,680
Speaker 1: and but sometimes a lot of moments just call for

1677
01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:47,439
Speaker 1: like feeling in those moments and just being present in

1678
01:15:47,479 --> 01:15:49,759
Speaker 1: those moments. I feel like you're somebody who's very intentional

1679
01:15:49,840 --> 01:15:54,280
Speaker 1: as a mother, and maybe you know it, maybe you

1680
01:15:54,360 --> 01:15:55,960
Speaker 1: don't know it, but you challenge me to be a

1681
01:15:56,000 --> 01:15:59,639
Speaker 1: better dad, Like when you you know you'll like lose

1682
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:01,599
Speaker 1: your phone all the time, Like you've become somebody who

1683
01:16:01,600 --> 01:16:03,160
Speaker 1: will like set your phone down because you want to

1684
01:16:03,240 --> 01:16:05,679
Speaker 1: intentionally be present with the kids, like when you're playing

1685
01:16:05,760 --> 01:16:07,759
Speaker 1: with Rue, or you want to take Rue, Like yesterday,

1686
01:16:07,800 --> 01:16:10,679
Speaker 1: you knew Ru that Ru was struggling when you left,

1687
01:16:11,760 --> 01:16:13,680
Speaker 1: when you left to go to work yesterday, and so

1688
01:16:14,080 --> 01:16:15,680
Speaker 1: when I was on my way home, You're like, hey,

1689
01:16:15,720 --> 01:16:17,400
Speaker 1: how far out are you? I kind of want to

1690
01:16:17,439 --> 01:16:19,559
Speaker 1: take Root of the park and get in some quality

1691
01:16:19,560 --> 01:16:21,400
Speaker 1: of time because she hads you know, she had a

1692
01:16:21,560 --> 01:16:23,599
Speaker 1: little mom this morning. It seems like she's missing mom

1693
01:16:23,640 --> 01:16:27,960
Speaker 1: a little bit. But you are somebody who you love

1694
01:16:28,080 --> 01:16:36,679
Speaker 1: to control and have timelines and be very tight, very tidy,

1695
01:16:37,040 --> 01:16:40,040
Speaker 1: which I love and appreciate about you, even though sometimes

1696
01:16:40,080 --> 01:16:45,560
Speaker 1: it drives me nuts. So knowing that there are a

1697
01:16:45,600 --> 01:16:48,360
Speaker 1: lot of elements that you can't control and just being patient.

1698
01:16:48,400 --> 01:16:50,040
Speaker 1: I think you do a really good job being patient

1699
01:16:50,080 --> 01:16:53,800
Speaker 1: when ru is getting pissed off and she's like hyperventilating

1700
01:16:54,000 --> 01:16:56,040
Speaker 1: and you just sit there and hugger and you're just

1701
01:16:56,120 --> 01:16:59,960
Speaker 1: there for where I can get like frustrated, and you'll

1702
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:01,840
Speaker 1: just tell me like, hey, she just she doesn't know

1703
01:17:01,880 --> 01:17:04,200
Speaker 1: how to control her big emotion. She just she almost

1704
01:17:04,320 --> 01:17:05,680
Speaker 1: just needs you to sit with her and not like

1705
01:17:06,400 --> 01:17:10,280
Speaker 1: say anything or do anything. You had some like being

1706
01:17:10,360 --> 01:17:13,000
Speaker 1: patient the short term or whatever you said like last

1707
01:17:13,000 --> 01:17:15,080
Speaker 1: week where you're talking about having a big moment or

1708
01:17:15,120 --> 01:17:19,400
Speaker 1: you doing I forget what it was, but you being

1709
01:17:19,640 --> 01:17:23,599
Speaker 1: like you wanting to do a better job of being

1710
01:17:23,680 --> 01:17:25,920
Speaker 1: patient with her in like moments where she's not as

1711
01:17:27,520 --> 01:17:31,880
Speaker 1: frustrated or mad versus like you felt like you you

1712
01:17:32,200 --> 01:17:34,400
Speaker 1: you got a good grip on when she's like really

1713
01:17:34,479 --> 01:17:36,479
Speaker 1: struggling or really having like a big emotion and like

1714
01:17:36,560 --> 01:17:37,280
Speaker 1: sitting with her.

1715
01:17:39,120 --> 01:17:39,599
Speaker 2: The distinction.

1716
01:17:40,080 --> 01:17:42,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Yeah, you're talking about like working on the

1717
01:17:42,680 --> 01:17:44,880
Speaker 1: one that's like a more in the shorter term where

1718
01:17:44,880 --> 01:17:47,240
Speaker 1: you get a little impatient or everybody kind of gets

1719
01:17:47,280 --> 01:17:48,120
Speaker 1: a little Yeah, I mean.

1720
01:17:48,040 --> 01:17:50,080
Speaker 2: I definitely get impatient with her sometimes, but.

1721
01:17:50,200 --> 01:17:52,040
Speaker 1: I would say, that's how I've seen you kind of

1722
01:17:52,120 --> 01:17:54,880
Speaker 1: change since motherhood is like you know, letting go. You're

1723
01:17:54,920 --> 01:17:59,320
Speaker 1: much more fluid, You're you know, it's like, I know,

1724
01:17:59,400 --> 01:18:02,080
Speaker 1: we read a book which i'd highly recommend to to

1725
01:18:02,280 --> 01:18:05,080
Speaker 1: parents if you're looking into any type of sleep training.

1726
01:18:05,120 --> 01:18:07,559
Speaker 1: But twelve weeks and twelve hours. I forget who it's by,

1727
01:18:07,680 --> 01:18:09,880
Speaker 1: but it's a phenomenal. It's a great book. But it's

1728
01:18:09,920 --> 01:18:12,360
Speaker 1: like introducing your kids into your world versus you changing

1729
01:18:12,439 --> 01:18:15,360
Speaker 1: everything around our world to kind of fit the need

1730
01:18:15,439 --> 01:18:17,720
Speaker 1: of the child. Like you're somebody. Whether it's hey, we're

1731
01:18:17,720 --> 01:18:19,360
Speaker 1: at the farmer's market or we're going to go here

1732
01:18:19,439 --> 01:18:21,080
Speaker 1: and it's during a nap time, they can just nap

1733
01:18:21,120 --> 01:18:23,719
Speaker 1: on you and you'll you'll just be out there ripping

1734
01:18:23,760 --> 01:18:27,680
Speaker 1: around whether they needed a nap, and it's like you

1735
01:18:27,800 --> 01:18:29,720
Speaker 1: kind of just bring them with you versus like I'm

1736
01:18:29,720 --> 01:18:31,360
Speaker 1: going to keep myself home because they need to be

1737
01:18:31,439 --> 01:18:34,639
Speaker 1: on this structure, this timeline throughout the day at all times.

1738
01:18:35,840 --> 01:18:38,639
Speaker 1: You'll just like we'll take them with us. You'll take

1739
01:18:38,680 --> 01:18:42,479
Speaker 1: them with you if it's just you doing something. So yeah,

1740
01:18:42,840 --> 01:18:45,599
Speaker 1: I would say that I've seen you change since becoming

1741
01:18:45,640 --> 01:18:49,320
Speaker 1: a mom is more of just your fluidity and your patience.

1742
01:18:49,400 --> 01:18:52,639
Speaker 1: And you didn't answer the question.

1743
01:18:52,720 --> 01:18:56,160
Speaker 2: I kind of answered it, but honestly, yes, the thing

1744
01:18:56,200 --> 01:18:58,519
Speaker 2: I would say most is like kind of like being

1745
01:18:58,560 --> 01:19:01,800
Speaker 2: okay with not being in control and not necessarily okay.

1746
01:19:01,800 --> 01:19:04,800
Speaker 2: I don't know if that'll ever change about me, like fundamentally,

1747
01:19:05,000 --> 01:19:08,880
Speaker 2: like I like to have things structured as much as

1748
01:19:08,880 --> 01:19:12,439
Speaker 2: I can, like control, be in control, but uh, I'm

1749
01:19:12,520 --> 01:19:15,320
Speaker 2: just not in control. When you have children, you're just

1750
01:19:15,400 --> 01:19:18,640
Speaker 2: not in control because they're their own little person and

1751
01:19:18,720 --> 01:19:23,200
Speaker 2: they are going through all these things developmentally. So thank

1752
01:19:23,240 --> 01:19:25,560
Speaker 2: you because that's something I feel like can be of

1753
01:19:25,680 --> 01:19:29,120
Speaker 2: strength and also weakness. And I've let it go a little,

1754
01:19:29,160 --> 01:19:29,639
Speaker 2: which is good.

1755
01:19:30,840 --> 01:19:34,800
Speaker 1: What is the biggest mom L that you've taken?

1756
01:19:37,800 --> 01:19:39,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean when I was looking at thinking about this,

1757
01:19:39,760 --> 01:19:42,640
Speaker 2: it's like clearly there's so many things that happened that

1758
01:19:43,479 --> 01:19:45,760
Speaker 2: and I'm thinking more with like Rue because we've had

1759
01:19:45,800 --> 01:19:48,519
Speaker 2: her for longer, like we've known her for longer, and

1760
01:19:48,640 --> 01:19:51,920
Speaker 2: Scotti is like relatively new to the faan, but uh,

1761
01:19:52,840 --> 01:19:55,160
Speaker 2: I don't necessarily think about L's like things that she's doing,

1762
01:19:55,320 --> 01:19:57,400
Speaker 2: like if she's having a tantrum or she's having a

1763
01:19:57,439 --> 01:20:00,320
Speaker 2: hard time or she is yelling at me or whatever

1764
01:20:00,400 --> 01:20:02,800
Speaker 2: it is, like those are those are not el's for me.

1765
01:20:03,080 --> 01:20:05,840
Speaker 2: Those are just like those are like challenges for me, right,

1766
01:20:05,920 --> 01:20:09,640
Speaker 2: like I can figure out a way to meet at

1767
01:20:09,760 --> 01:20:14,040
Speaker 2: meet her where she is and adapt, improvise, overcome, like

1768
01:20:14,120 --> 01:20:16,439
Speaker 2: if there's poop all over me, I don't know. Those

1769
01:20:16,479 --> 01:20:18,439
Speaker 2: are things that like happen to me that are not elves.

1770
01:20:18,560 --> 01:20:21,040
Speaker 2: So I would say, like elve's personally would be when

1771
01:20:21,120 --> 01:20:23,920
Speaker 2: I lose my cool. So I do remember there was

1772
01:20:24,479 --> 01:20:26,680
Speaker 2: I do not recommend this, but I actually listened to

1773
01:20:26,720 --> 01:20:30,439
Speaker 2: this podcast recently about like picky eaters and because you

1774
01:20:30,439 --> 01:20:34,799
Speaker 2: know there was a big eater, but I mean generally, yeah, anyway,

1775
01:20:35,280 --> 01:20:37,320
Speaker 2: you were not home, you were like traveling somewhere, because

1776
01:20:37,840 --> 01:20:41,320
Speaker 2: that's like a common theme in this conversation. I was

1777
01:20:41,360 --> 01:20:43,639
Speaker 2: sitting there she was probably like I don't know, sixteen

1778
01:20:43,760 --> 01:20:45,840
Speaker 2: eighteen months, and I was trying her to get get

1779
01:20:45,880 --> 01:20:47,240
Speaker 2: her to eat this like chicken. I was trying to

1780
01:20:47,240 --> 01:20:48,600
Speaker 2: get her to eat the meal that I made her,

1781
01:20:48,800 --> 01:20:50,360
Speaker 2: and it's just the two of us were sitting there

1782
01:20:50,400 --> 01:20:52,880
Speaker 2: at home and she probably had like none of it,

1783
01:20:53,320 --> 01:20:54,720
Speaker 2: and I knew it was a good food. She liked,

1784
01:20:55,120 --> 01:20:57,160
Speaker 2: and I remember getting so frustrated with her that I

1785
01:20:57,280 --> 01:20:59,960
Speaker 2: like eventually would like shove the food down her mouth

1786
01:21:00,120 --> 01:21:03,200
Speaker 2: and she started choking and like vomited everywhere. They told

1787
01:21:03,200 --> 01:21:03,600
Speaker 2: you about this.

1788
01:21:04,280 --> 01:21:05,040
Speaker 1: I don't know if you did.

1789
01:21:06,560 --> 01:21:08,600
Speaker 2: And I was like, that was the wrong decision, that

1790
01:21:08,760 --> 01:21:10,960
Speaker 2: was the wrong call. That was that was on me.

1791
01:21:11,240 --> 01:21:14,280
Speaker 2: And she's like in tears, like she's so upset, and

1792
01:21:14,400 --> 01:21:16,920
Speaker 2: I'm like just like trying to be like it's almost

1793
01:21:16,920 --> 01:21:18,880
Speaker 2: like out of spite and like pride and like eat

1794
01:21:18,920 --> 01:21:23,400
Speaker 2: this food that I made for you don't recommend. That

1795
01:21:23,840 --> 01:21:25,640
Speaker 2: was like a clear moment like that was that was

1796
01:21:25,720 --> 01:21:27,679
Speaker 2: on me. And then of course I haven't done that again.

1797
01:21:27,800 --> 01:21:31,439
Speaker 2: But it's like your your kid knows listen to them.

1798
01:21:32,160 --> 01:21:34,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I tell you what it is like negotiating with

1799
01:21:34,760 --> 01:21:36,599
Speaker 1: a little terrorist when she's eating.

1800
01:21:36,400 --> 01:21:39,680
Speaker 2: Dinner sometimes and sometimes it's though it's like roses and

1801
01:21:40,840 --> 01:21:41,479
Speaker 2: she'll knock.

1802
01:21:41,320 --> 01:21:43,120
Speaker 1: It all down. Clean play club where you always talk

1803
01:21:43,120 --> 01:21:45,960
Speaker 1: about joining the clean plate club to make it like

1804
01:21:46,040 --> 01:21:48,240
Speaker 1: a you know, you're trying to get in this tribe.

1805
01:21:48,360 --> 01:21:50,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we don't necessarily want to be competitive.

1806
01:21:51,439 --> 01:21:56,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's like I want to be competitive.

1807
01:21:57,120 --> 01:22:02,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, we're competitive us. I walk away, I

1808
01:22:02,720 --> 01:22:04,040
Speaker 2: walk away feeling like I had an l if. I

1809
01:22:04,160 --> 01:22:06,240
Speaker 2: like lost my patience. I very yelled at her, and

1810
01:22:06,360 --> 01:22:07,680
Speaker 2: that's and then I'll walk away. I'm like, I'm a

1811
01:22:07,720 --> 01:22:10,800
Speaker 2: bad mom. And then those are like opportunities to apologize.

1812
01:22:10,840 --> 01:22:16,400
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, apologizing is a is a

1813
01:22:16,439 --> 01:22:17,640
Speaker 1: big one. I've started to do those.

1814
01:22:17,760 --> 01:22:20,040
Speaker 2: You have, I've noticed it's it's like, I think it's

1815
01:22:20,080 --> 01:22:23,800
Speaker 2: pretty powerful. Honestly, Yeah, I hope. So I'm not being

1816
01:22:23,840 --> 01:22:26,479
Speaker 2: I'm not joking. I'm being serious. Like that's some powerful

1817
01:22:26,520 --> 01:22:27,800
Speaker 2: ship right there. You said, I'm sorry.

1818
01:22:27,880 --> 01:22:32,080
Speaker 1: Wow, I bit you got you wanna you wanna run

1819
01:22:32,120 --> 01:22:33,080
Speaker 1: through some Yeah?

1820
01:22:33,280 --> 01:22:37,479
Speaker 4: What is we do this with players? When about their coaches?

1821
01:22:37,520 --> 01:22:41,080
Speaker 4: What is your guys biggest pet peeve about each other?

1822
01:22:43,840 --> 01:22:47,000
Speaker 1: Go ahead, it's it is Mother's Day. Is Mother's Day weekend?

1823
01:22:47,080 --> 01:22:48,000
Speaker 1: So you can go first.

1824
01:22:50,080 --> 01:22:51,880
Speaker 2: Pet peeve that we've learned to live with or just

1825
01:22:51,880 --> 01:22:52,719
Speaker 2: pet peeve in general.

1826
01:22:53,320 --> 01:22:55,439
Speaker 3: We can do one one that you've learned to live with,

1827
01:22:55,640 --> 01:22:58,120
Speaker 3: be like this is not gonna change, but one it's like, bro,

1828
01:22:58,280 --> 01:22:58,760
Speaker 3: pick it up.

1829
01:22:59,120 --> 01:23:03,080
Speaker 2: I think my biggest type people with well is how

1830
01:23:03,160 --> 01:23:04,919
Speaker 2: frequently you lose things.

1831
01:23:07,160 --> 01:23:07,559
Speaker 3: That's our.

1832
01:23:10,760 --> 01:23:13,759
Speaker 1: That reaction, Mitch, I'm not alone.

1833
01:23:14,920 --> 01:23:16,760
Speaker 2: We have to give you your wallet, And he tried,

1834
01:23:16,840 --> 01:23:19,120
Speaker 2: like it's not like sometimes I do think he's like trying,

1835
01:23:19,320 --> 01:23:22,000
Speaker 2: like he's trying. He's sometimes he's trying his best, but

1836
01:23:22,040 --> 01:23:23,720
Speaker 2: there are other times when you're not trying your best.

1837
01:23:25,800 --> 01:23:29,240
Speaker 1: Okay, that was That was the learn to live with?

1838
01:23:29,520 --> 01:23:31,960
Speaker 2: No, that was, Yeah, the one I learned to live

1839
01:23:32,000 --> 01:23:35,960
Speaker 2: with is like lights on, lights on, You just leave

1840
01:23:35,960 --> 01:23:36,759
Speaker 2: the lights on everywhere.

1841
01:23:37,640 --> 01:23:39,719
Speaker 1: Listen to Bargozi's recent stand up.

1842
01:23:40,560 --> 01:23:44,280
Speaker 2: Hey, those three cents of energy matter, and I care

1843
01:23:44,320 --> 01:23:44,920
Speaker 2: about our earth.

1844
01:23:45,840 --> 01:23:47,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh did you turn the light? Did you turn

1845
01:23:47,479 --> 01:23:51,599
Speaker 1: those lights off? On? Again? It Ney Barazi crushes this bit,

1846
01:23:52,120 --> 01:23:55,040
Speaker 1: but I'm thinking the same thing. It's like, dude, we

1847
01:23:55,080 --> 01:23:57,680
Speaker 1: can't even see what's going on outside out there in

1848
01:23:57,720 --> 01:23:59,680
Speaker 1: the living room, Like maybe I left the pantry light on,

1849
01:23:59,840 --> 01:24:02,200
Speaker 1: but what's the matter of relaying in bed right now?

1850
01:24:02,320 --> 01:24:03,000
Speaker 1: Just go to sleep.

1851
01:24:03,640 --> 01:24:05,479
Speaker 2: I can see the light from the from my bedroom.

1852
01:24:05,800 --> 01:24:08,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you'll it's like so minimal.

1853
01:24:10,080 --> 01:24:11,040
Speaker 2: I can feel it on.

1854
01:24:11,880 --> 01:24:13,920
Speaker 1: It's so minimal to where Charle will have to get

1855
01:24:14,000 --> 01:24:14,920
Speaker 1: up out of the bed and go.

1856
01:24:15,840 --> 01:24:18,000
Speaker 2: It's like it's it's like kind of like the like

1857
01:24:18,160 --> 01:24:26,400
Speaker 2: fundamentally it's wasteful whatever. Uh that like it takes like

1858
01:24:27,800 --> 01:24:28,639
Speaker 2: negative seconds.

1859
01:24:28,760 --> 01:24:30,439
Speaker 3: But if I'm walking out, that's just something you do.

1860
01:24:33,360 --> 01:24:34,639
Speaker 2: I didn't know mentioned to me on my team.

1861
01:24:34,640 --> 01:24:37,080
Speaker 4: I'm sorry because that's a pet peeve I have of

1862
01:24:37,160 --> 01:24:39,920
Speaker 4: my roommates as they leave them lights on everywhere too, But.

1863
01:24:40,000 --> 01:24:42,000
Speaker 1: Throughout the day, to me, that doesn't matter. You're going

1864
01:24:42,080 --> 01:24:43,639
Speaker 1: to go back in the room at some point.

1865
01:24:45,920 --> 01:24:49,920
Speaker 2: Light That point fair And that's not how you live

1866
01:24:49,960 --> 01:24:51,280
Speaker 2: your life. You live the light on and then you

1867
01:24:51,400 --> 01:24:52,720
Speaker 2: leave the house, or you leave the light on and

1868
01:24:52,800 --> 01:24:54,479
Speaker 2: then it's nighttime, you know what I mean? Like, it's

1869
01:24:54,520 --> 01:24:56,040
Speaker 2: not that's not always a fair argument.

1870
01:24:56,120 --> 01:24:57,320
Speaker 1: Well, if I leave the house, I'm going to come

1871
01:24:57,360 --> 01:25:00,240
Speaker 1: back to the house. I want lights on in case

1872
01:25:00,280 --> 01:25:02,840
Speaker 1: you know, people say there's lights on the house.

1873
01:25:03,920 --> 01:25:05,080
Speaker 2: That's your biggest object about me?

1874
01:25:05,920 --> 01:25:13,479
Speaker 1: M man, where do I start? Ah, I don't know

1875
01:25:13,560 --> 01:25:16,400
Speaker 1: how to put it into one particular thing, but.

1876
01:25:16,479 --> 01:25:21,400
Speaker 2: It's your Like, uh, I just feel like I know

1877
01:25:21,439 --> 01:25:24,800
Speaker 2: what you're gonna say. What embracing myself for impact.

1878
01:25:25,120 --> 01:25:27,000
Speaker 1: Go ahead and say no, no, no, you go. I

1879
01:25:27,160 --> 01:25:32,840
Speaker 1: was just going to say, like, like how things have

1880
01:25:33,040 --> 01:25:40,120
Speaker 1: to be a certain way? Do you know what I mean.

1881
01:25:40,880 --> 01:25:46,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm laughing because you just re complimenting the fact

1882
01:25:46,120 --> 01:25:48,080
Speaker 2: that I had gotten more fluid as a as a parent.

1883
01:25:48,720 --> 01:25:54,400
Speaker 1: Yeah. It just feels like you can get like impatient

1884
01:25:54,520 --> 01:25:57,200
Speaker 1: and stressed over the smallest things and you don't Here's

1885
01:25:57,200 --> 01:26:00,599
Speaker 1: the thing, though, Mitch, you don't know what's big thing

1886
01:26:01,160 --> 01:26:03,320
Speaker 1: until the big thing just happens. Like you think you're

1887
01:26:03,439 --> 01:26:04,920
Speaker 1: You're like, hey, you know, we're in a good little

1888
01:26:04,960 --> 01:26:06,799
Speaker 1: rhythm of here. I'm kind of crushing it. I've developed

1889
01:26:06,880 --> 01:26:08,920
Speaker 1: more as a husband and a dad, and you know,

1890
01:26:09,000 --> 01:26:11,160
Speaker 1: you're like challenging yourself to be better in certain areas

1891
01:26:12,120 --> 01:26:14,519
Speaker 1: and you think it's going well, and then something happens

1892
01:26:14,640 --> 01:26:17,800
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden it's not going well

1893
01:26:18,080 --> 01:26:20,040
Speaker 1: and then they make you feel like you've made no

1894
01:26:20,160 --> 01:26:30,679
Speaker 1: progress whatsoever right here. Sorry, So it's like, uh, you know, yeah,

1895
01:26:30,720 --> 01:26:32,439
Speaker 1: whatever that is the uh.

1896
01:26:32,520 --> 01:26:34,559
Speaker 2: That seems that seems like more than a pet peeve.

1897
01:26:34,640 --> 01:26:35,160
Speaker 2: But it's cool.

1898
01:26:35,720 --> 01:26:39,080
Speaker 1: We've talked about the therapy we have. Yeah, we've we've

1899
01:26:40,080 --> 01:26:40,840
Speaker 1: we've talked about how to.

1900
01:26:40,840 --> 01:26:42,760
Speaker 2: Communicate with you, and we've learned that you are an

1901
01:26:42,760 --> 01:26:47,120
Speaker 2: athlete and what you require is positive affirmation, more positive

1902
01:26:47,120 --> 01:26:50,280
Speaker 2: affirmation than negative potentially perceived Yeah.

1903
01:26:50,320 --> 01:26:52,559
Speaker 1: Bro that when Doc was breaking it down and talking

1904
01:26:52,600 --> 01:26:55,760
Speaker 1: about any athlete she's worked with, Sorry if you guys

1905
01:26:55,800 --> 01:26:59,160
Speaker 1: heard that in the background, any athlete she's worked with,

1906
01:26:59,320 --> 01:27:05,160
Speaker 1: like they need more or positive affirmation, well, yeah than

1907
01:27:05,240 --> 01:27:08,040
Speaker 1: anything because we've lived our life of such like a

1908
01:27:08,160 --> 01:27:10,439
Speaker 1: performance base, Like we need our coaches to be proud,

1909
01:27:10,479 --> 01:27:12,439
Speaker 1: We need our coaches to kind of, you know, tell

1910
01:27:12,520 --> 01:27:14,800
Speaker 1: us we're doing a good job, because when you get

1911
01:27:14,920 --> 01:27:17,800
Speaker 1: negative comments, it just feeds this psyche and you because

1912
01:27:17,840 --> 01:27:19,840
Speaker 1: you feel like whether it's you're gonna be cut, whether

1913
01:27:19,840 --> 01:27:21,880
Speaker 1: you're not doing good enough, you want to do all

1914
01:27:21,960 --> 01:27:24,000
Speaker 1: these things to where it's like you need these positive

1915
01:27:24,040 --> 01:27:27,040
Speaker 1: words of affirmation a lot more than anything else. When

1916
01:27:27,080 --> 01:27:31,040
Speaker 1: she broke it down, it's like, there's parts of your ideas, yeah,

1917
01:27:31,080 --> 01:27:32,880
Speaker 1: And I'm thinking yeah, because when I want her to

1918
01:27:33,000 --> 01:27:35,000
Speaker 1: like land stuff with me, it's like through a joke

1919
01:27:35,160 --> 01:27:39,160
Speaker 1: or through something else versus like a moment happening and

1920
01:27:39,200 --> 01:27:40,639
Speaker 1: it's like, hey, what are you gonna do with this mail?

1921
01:27:41,080 --> 01:27:43,720
Speaker 1: It's like can we not watch this show right now?

1922
01:27:43,800 --> 01:27:45,200
Speaker 1: Or can I not just get to it tomorrow? I

1923
01:27:45,240 --> 01:27:46,720
Speaker 1: set it right there in the policy's like this pou

1924
01:27:46,800 --> 01:27:49,439
Speaker 1: builds up over time, all these boxes you have, it's

1925
01:27:49,479 --> 01:27:51,560
Speaker 1: like Christmas here every day. When you gonna take that?

1926
01:27:51,640 --> 01:27:53,000
Speaker 1: When are you gonna open these boxes?

1927
01:27:54,800 --> 01:27:54,960
Speaker 3: Oh?

1928
01:27:55,200 --> 01:28:00,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I need to get to those feel me.

1929
01:28:00,840 --> 01:28:03,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm do my best. Did not respond, I'm gonna

1930
01:28:03,200 --> 01:28:04,560
Speaker 2: not respond. I'm just gonna take it.

1931
01:28:05,520 --> 01:28:07,400
Speaker 1: No, I feel I say it out loud and I

1932
01:28:07,520 --> 01:28:11,439
Speaker 1: hear myself say it and I get it. But it's like, well,

1933
01:28:11,439 --> 01:28:13,080
Speaker 1: we're gonna do this right now over Sunday night. We're

1934
01:28:13,080 --> 01:28:15,519
Speaker 1: trying to watch a show right now, like Severence is on,

1935
01:28:17,800 --> 01:28:20,360
Speaker 1: Like can you just relax and calm down? Like you know,

1936
01:28:22,360 --> 01:28:23,320
Speaker 1: what's another pep beeve?

1937
01:28:23,560 --> 01:28:24,880
Speaker 2: Oh we're doing multiple cool.

1938
01:28:25,880 --> 01:28:27,840
Speaker 1: I was gonna ask the next question, go hey, yeah,

1939
01:28:27,920 --> 01:28:29,320
Speaker 1: let's just we'll get out of that when you can

1940
01:28:29,360 --> 01:28:30,120
Speaker 1: ask the next question.

1941
01:28:30,280 --> 01:28:33,160
Speaker 4: What is the dumbest argument you guys have gotten into,

1942
01:28:33,200 --> 01:28:36,200
Speaker 4: whether it's when you first started dating, early in a marriage,

1943
01:28:36,240 --> 01:28:38,599
Speaker 4: when you first moved in together, dumbest argument?

1944
01:28:38,800 --> 01:28:39,560
Speaker 1: What are you thinking of?

1945
01:28:40,160 --> 01:28:40,599
Speaker 2: Honeymoon?

1946
01:28:40,800 --> 01:28:44,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, honey, Well and I got on one fighter.

1947
01:28:44,360 --> 01:28:46,680
Speaker 2: On her honeymoon, one fight on her honeymoon, and it

1948
01:28:46,800 --> 01:28:49,880
Speaker 2: was so dumb. It was so dumb but also not

1949
01:28:51,400 --> 01:28:57,400
Speaker 2: we will say it wasn't dumb. I'll say it was dumb. Okay,

1950
01:28:58,200 --> 01:29:01,080
Speaker 2: clearly I love lattes. I'm gonna take some credit. I

1951
01:29:01,160 --> 01:29:05,080
Speaker 2: got you on lattes back in the day, Victory lattes.

1952
01:29:06,520 --> 01:29:06,720
Speaker 1: Yes.

1953
01:29:06,960 --> 01:29:11,200
Speaker 2: Anyway, I have my latte every morning with simple syrup

1954
01:29:11,240 --> 01:29:13,720
Speaker 2: in it, which is sugar. Simple syrup is sugar and water.

1955
01:29:14,439 --> 01:29:17,840
Speaker 2: And Bill doesn't like that. Will does not like that

1956
01:29:17,920 --> 01:29:21,439
Speaker 2: I start my day with sugar. So we got into

1957
01:29:21,479 --> 01:29:21,720
Speaker 2: a fight.

1958
01:29:25,439 --> 01:29:27,439
Speaker 1: You said, dumb.

1959
01:29:27,600 --> 01:29:30,959
Speaker 2: Argument just finished our boor boor. We were in California,

1960
01:29:31,000 --> 01:29:33,240
Speaker 2: like wine country, and we're like pulling into this coffee

1961
01:29:33,240 --> 01:29:37,519
Speaker 2: shop and I was driving and and I we just

1962
01:29:37,560 --> 01:29:40,080
Speaker 2: gotten our lattes, and I had sugar in my latte,

1963
01:29:40,200 --> 01:29:41,439
Speaker 2: and I think I maybe had to go back and

1964
01:29:41,439 --> 01:29:44,439
Speaker 2: get a little more because I like my she could

1965
01:29:44,520 --> 01:29:47,040
Speaker 2: like artificially sweet, but I like it like sweet enough

1966
01:29:47,160 --> 01:29:49,280
Speaker 2: so that like it's just like tastes nice. Like I'm like, oh,

1967
01:29:49,320 --> 01:29:52,080
Speaker 2: this is my latte. It's like what I look forward

1968
01:29:52,080 --> 01:29:54,880
Speaker 2: to in the morning. And I think he was like

1969
01:29:54,960 --> 01:29:56,960
Speaker 2: pissed that I like went back and got more sugar,

1970
01:29:58,080 --> 01:29:59,920
Speaker 2: and he let me know. We got in the car

1971
01:30:00,040 --> 01:30:01,600
Speaker 2: and we started he got in a fight. We like

1972
01:30:01,640 --> 01:30:03,640
Speaker 2: gotten like a heated debate where we like we're not

1973
01:30:03,760 --> 01:30:05,840
Speaker 2: talking to each other for like maybe like six hours.

1974
01:30:08,200 --> 01:30:10,080
Speaker 2: I also went on a walk with the cows.

1975
01:30:10,479 --> 01:30:11,800
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, out in California.

1976
01:30:11,960 --> 01:30:13,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I almost like wrecked the car because we

1977
01:30:13,680 --> 01:30:16,799
Speaker 2: were like fighting so like kind of heatedly.

1978
01:30:17,880 --> 01:30:23,280
Speaker 1: Yeah. It's like with those things, MAT's like I can't

1979
01:30:23,280 --> 01:30:25,960
Speaker 1: wait to hear I'll try and make sense of this.

1980
01:30:26,400 --> 01:30:27,920
Speaker 2: He wants me to take care of myself. He wants

1981
01:30:27,920 --> 01:30:29,639
Speaker 2: me to live a long, healthy life, right.

1982
01:30:30,080 --> 01:30:34,400
Speaker 1: Yes, But also it's like say you got your partner

1983
01:30:35,280 --> 01:30:39,240
Speaker 1: or one of your boys, and you know, you see

1984
01:30:39,280 --> 01:30:41,680
Speaker 1: that the habits that they have. Charles like her day

1985
01:30:41,800 --> 01:30:48,479
Speaker 1: starts with a simple syrup isolate or with the bagel

1986
01:30:48,920 --> 01:30:54,200
Speaker 1: like bread like that my turns on and you know,

1987
01:30:54,400 --> 01:30:57,560
Speaker 1: like they've made comments about like you know, you know

1988
01:30:57,640 --> 01:31:00,439
Speaker 1: they're in the health, you know they're in all these things,

1989
01:31:01,280 --> 01:31:04,600
Speaker 1: and so you try and drop hints of hey, you

1990
01:31:04,720 --> 01:31:08,880
Speaker 1: start your day with sugar. There's a lot of like

1991
01:31:10,320 --> 01:31:13,439
Speaker 1: negative you know, negative things that kind of can like

1992
01:31:13,520 --> 01:31:16,200
Speaker 1: domino effect with like your blood glucose. I'm not going

1993
01:31:16,280 --> 01:31:20,719
Speaker 1: to get in all the heubre men all the Huberman stuff,

1994
01:31:20,800 --> 01:31:25,200
Speaker 1: the data that backs all of this. But so it's like,

1995
01:31:25,280 --> 01:31:27,800
Speaker 1: then you might have a common ground conversation that's like,

1996
01:31:27,880 --> 01:31:29,800
Speaker 1: oh yeah, maybe I'll start tapering off, and then it

1997
01:31:29,880 --> 01:31:32,560
Speaker 1: gets somewhere they're going back up for more sugar, and

1998
01:31:32,680 --> 01:31:34,439
Speaker 1: you're just like, hey, when you're going to start tapering

1999
01:31:34,479 --> 01:31:36,720
Speaker 1: down the sugar or get it to where hey, you know,

2000
01:31:36,760 --> 01:31:38,000
Speaker 1: if you just go a little bit at a time,

2001
01:31:38,000 --> 01:31:39,720
Speaker 1: next thing, you know, you're drinking black coffee. That's kind

2002
01:31:39,720 --> 01:31:41,559
Speaker 1: of how we all start. I was a sugary guy,

2003
01:31:42,320 --> 01:31:45,880
Speaker 1: you know. I make a coffee, pour a creamer in it,

2004
01:31:46,280 --> 01:31:48,519
Speaker 1: a couple of sweet and lows, a couple of sugar packets.

2005
01:31:50,240 --> 01:31:53,880
Speaker 1: I agree, and got that out of my life, got

2006
01:31:53,880 --> 01:31:55,320
Speaker 1: that out of my system. It was a journey, but

2007
01:31:55,400 --> 01:31:57,760
Speaker 1: I got there. So you're like wanting the same thing

2008
01:31:57,800 --> 01:32:00,479
Speaker 1: for them because you know they're conscious about they're wanting

2009
01:32:00,520 --> 01:32:01,920
Speaker 1: to be healthy and all of these things. And it's like,

2010
01:32:02,240 --> 01:32:04,479
Speaker 1: maybe we start from the first hour of our day,

2011
01:32:06,400 --> 01:32:08,519
Speaker 1: and so that's kind of you know, I probably you know,

2012
01:32:08,600 --> 01:32:11,200
Speaker 1: I probably made an offhand comment and it just it's

2013
01:32:11,240 --> 01:32:13,360
Speaker 1: steamrolled from there. But that's where it was coming from

2014
01:32:13,360 --> 01:32:17,479
Speaker 1: for myself. It wasn't like, you know, hey, why are

2015
01:32:17,479 --> 01:32:20,479
Speaker 1: you drinking sugar coffee? Like this ising how we're doing marriage,

2016
01:32:20,560 --> 01:32:23,519
Speaker 1: Like you're gonna change this shit right now. It was

2017
01:32:23,560 --> 01:32:25,599
Speaker 1: more of like, I know she's made comments before about stuff,

2018
01:32:25,600 --> 01:32:26,880
Speaker 1: and it's like, hey, this is a simple thing that

2019
01:32:26,920 --> 01:32:30,120
Speaker 1: you could start to work on. Cut out whatever it is. Again,

2020
01:32:31,560 --> 01:32:34,400
Speaker 1: mistake went about it the wrong way.

2021
01:32:34,920 --> 01:32:36,960
Speaker 2: Would you say that we live relatively healthy lives?

2022
01:32:38,000 --> 01:32:41,560
Speaker 1: Sure? I guess it depends on your expectation.

2023
01:32:41,120 --> 01:32:44,200
Speaker 2: And healthy Okay, so that's a no for me.

2024
01:32:45,200 --> 01:32:47,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like for me, like I would say, I guess overall,

2025
01:32:48,120 --> 01:32:51,519
Speaker 1: like you know, relatively speaking, I would say, yeah, I

2026
01:32:51,560 --> 01:32:53,439
Speaker 1: live a healthier life, but I fall short of like

2027
01:32:53,520 --> 01:32:55,800
Speaker 1: what my I want my expectations to be for myself,

2028
01:32:55,840 --> 01:32:57,080
Speaker 1: So I'll get in like a bad mood.

2029
01:32:58,560 --> 01:33:01,760
Speaker 2: But sure, yeah, yeah, are you get another fav right now?

2030
01:33:01,960 --> 01:33:04,760
Speaker 1: No, I'm just trying to explain myself because I know

2031
01:33:04,800 --> 01:33:06,600
Speaker 1: the audience is out there listen, like, damn, what's at

2032
01:33:06,640 --> 01:33:08,080
Speaker 1: her throat over a cup of coffee?

2033
01:33:10,479 --> 01:33:12,080
Speaker 2: I still have the same lots every morning?

2034
01:33:12,240 --> 01:33:14,639
Speaker 1: Yeah she does, and it is tacy. It's a tasty

2035
01:33:14,680 --> 01:33:15,120
Speaker 1: little treat.

2036
01:33:16,000 --> 01:33:21,479
Speaker 4: Next question, will this one's not on your sheet, but

2037
01:33:21,720 --> 01:33:26,320
Speaker 4: Will talks to us as like communicating and being better

2038
01:33:26,400 --> 01:33:27,120
Speaker 4: at communication.

2039
01:33:27,720 --> 01:33:30,120
Speaker 3: How has Will gotten better at communication.

2040
01:33:29,760 --> 01:33:32,000
Speaker 4: Since you guys have been married from when it's time

2041
01:33:32,080 --> 01:33:36,160
Speaker 4: we first started dating too, now like we first gotten

2042
01:33:36,200 --> 01:33:37,599
Speaker 4: married to now with kids.

2043
01:33:37,840 --> 01:33:38,760
Speaker 1: This is a Mitch question.

2044
01:33:39,120 --> 01:33:40,880
Speaker 2: Wow, this kind of like deeper.

2045
01:33:41,640 --> 01:33:43,640
Speaker 4: Right, He's been like me and Will have had our

2046
01:33:43,680 --> 01:33:46,160
Speaker 4: conversations about communication and stuff within.

2047
01:33:46,080 --> 01:33:49,000
Speaker 2: A relationship or just like in general, well, work relationship,

2048
01:33:49,080 --> 01:33:50,439
Speaker 2: personal relationship stuff like that.

2049
01:33:50,840 --> 01:33:54,200
Speaker 4: So how is he because he's like teaching me, I'm like,

2050
01:33:54,320 --> 01:33:57,160
Speaker 4: I wonder how he's gotten better himself.

2051
01:33:57,280 --> 01:34:02,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean great question, match, Wow, I know

2052
01:34:02,120 --> 01:34:02,760
Speaker 2: why you work here?

2053
01:34:03,720 --> 01:34:03,880
Speaker 1: Thing?

2054
01:34:04,240 --> 01:34:05,120
Speaker 2: Maybe the big books.

2055
01:34:07,240 --> 01:34:07,439
Speaker 1: Yeah.

2056
01:34:07,680 --> 01:34:11,800
Speaker 2: Overall, I think our communication has improved like exponentially. I

2057
01:34:11,840 --> 01:34:15,240
Speaker 2: think for me personally, my personal journey, I was not

2058
01:34:15,360 --> 01:34:17,040
Speaker 2: a good communicator. I never really had like a lot

2059
01:34:17,080 --> 01:34:20,040
Speaker 2: of exposure to it. It wasn't really talked about this

2060
01:34:20,720 --> 01:34:22,439
Speaker 2: kind of longer term relationship I was in. I feel

2061
01:34:22,439 --> 01:34:25,840
Speaker 2: like our communication was very bad. Sorry, I've been talking

2062
01:34:25,920 --> 01:34:27,280
Speaker 2: so much. You just talk all day like this and

2063
01:34:27,439 --> 01:34:30,880
Speaker 2: your voice just goes. And I remember a close friend

2064
01:34:30,920 --> 01:34:34,400
Speaker 2: of mine kind of just for me, she was in

2065
01:34:34,479 --> 01:34:37,040
Speaker 2: this really great relationship she's not married to him, Susan

2066
01:34:37,160 --> 01:34:40,280
Speaker 2: shout out Susan, and she kind of like emphasized the

2067
01:34:40,280 --> 01:34:42,200
Speaker 2: importance of the communication. I was like, oh, cool, Like

2068
01:34:42,760 --> 01:34:44,720
Speaker 2: what's that about. Let me give that a shot. So

2069
01:34:44,800 --> 01:34:46,360
Speaker 2: I think when you and I first started dating, it

2070
01:34:46,439 --> 01:34:47,640
Speaker 2: was kind of like when I was like, this is

2071
01:34:47,680 --> 01:34:50,320
Speaker 2: important to me. I see that this healthy relationship is

2072
01:34:50,400 --> 01:34:53,040
Speaker 2: modeled by communication. So I'm going to try and emulate that.

2073
01:34:53,120 --> 01:34:56,400
Speaker 2: Whatever that means. However uncomfortable it is, let's do this.

2074
01:34:56,800 --> 01:34:58,880
Speaker 2: And you were not really a good commune. I don't

2075
01:34:58,880 --> 01:35:00,679
Speaker 2: think you were a good communicator. I would say overall,

2076
01:35:00,680 --> 01:35:03,200
Speaker 2: you were not one. You probably had a similar story

2077
01:35:03,320 --> 01:35:07,200
Speaker 2: like you guys like your upbringing. Not no fault to anyone,

2078
01:35:07,280 --> 01:35:09,240
Speaker 2: but it's like we just didn't have that exposure. Overall.

2079
01:35:09,600 --> 01:35:11,560
Speaker 1: You just don't know how to I just don't know

2080
01:35:11,600 --> 01:35:11,880
Speaker 1: how to.

2081
01:35:11,880 --> 01:35:14,679
Speaker 2: Communicate, yeah, especially like kind of like talking about feelings

2082
01:35:15,280 --> 01:35:17,400
Speaker 2: and talking about like what's going on inside of you

2083
01:35:17,560 --> 01:35:21,200
Speaker 2: and like how certain things or words like how you're

2084
01:35:21,200 --> 01:35:25,600
Speaker 2: responding to them internally, like just vocalizing what's happening. So

2085
01:35:26,840 --> 01:35:28,479
Speaker 2: I think I kind of like had to like pull

2086
01:35:28,520 --> 01:35:29,920
Speaker 2: that out of you a little bit, especially in the

2087
01:35:29,960 --> 01:35:32,960
Speaker 2: beginning when we were not like official for a while,

2088
01:35:33,640 --> 01:35:37,439
Speaker 2: that was tough. And then even just like dating, it

2089
01:35:37,560 --> 01:35:39,519
Speaker 2: was like a practice. It was just like all right,

2090
01:35:39,560 --> 01:35:41,600
Speaker 2: that didn't work, We'll try we'll try it again. You know,

2091
01:35:42,920 --> 01:35:45,479
Speaker 2: I'm not sure like how it stuck. But overall, I

2092
01:35:45,560 --> 01:35:48,639
Speaker 2: think right now, like now we look at us currently

2093
01:35:48,800 --> 01:35:52,840
Speaker 2: with two kids, married for four years, shout out anniversary,

2094
01:35:55,640 --> 01:35:59,599
Speaker 2: I would say like our we're like overall we communicate

2095
01:35:59,640 --> 01:36:01,400
Speaker 2: while with you each other, Like there's times that will

2096
01:36:01,439 --> 01:36:04,840
Speaker 2: mess up and things won't land or we like let

2097
01:36:04,920 --> 01:36:07,160
Speaker 2: our emotions get the best of us, but we have

2098
01:36:07,280 --> 01:36:09,439
Speaker 2: like a lot of awareness about it and we just

2099
01:36:09,560 --> 01:36:12,280
Speaker 2: like recognize it as being important so we can always

2100
01:36:12,360 --> 01:36:13,320
Speaker 2: kind of like fall back on it.

2101
01:36:16,160 --> 01:36:17,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you're answering Mitch's question.

2102
01:36:19,280 --> 01:36:22,160
Speaker 2: So great job. Well, yeah, a great job, great job,

2103
01:36:22,160 --> 01:36:23,519
Speaker 2: pausit affirmation you're doing great.

2104
01:36:23,600 --> 01:36:27,320
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. It's like I feel like for a lot

2105
01:36:27,439 --> 01:36:30,040
Speaker 1: for most men, it's like learning how to communicate.

2106
01:36:30,080 --> 01:36:33,559
Speaker 2: I do think it's like, uh, there's a vulnerability aspect.

2107
01:36:33,920 --> 01:36:35,519
Speaker 1: You feel like if you're being vulnerable and you talk

2108
01:36:35,520 --> 01:36:37,479
Speaker 1: about your emotions, you're like weak. You see it as

2109
01:36:37,520 --> 01:36:40,000
Speaker 1: like weakness, and we do such a job like we

2110
01:36:40,200 --> 01:36:42,479
Speaker 1: try and navigate how to internalize it and then how

2111
01:36:42,560 --> 01:36:45,080
Speaker 1: to kind of harness it, whether it's motivation or doing

2112
01:36:45,160 --> 01:36:47,200
Speaker 1: something different. You just try, and it's like you're trying

2113
01:36:47,240 --> 01:36:48,880
Speaker 1: to solve these problems on your own because you don't.

2114
01:36:49,160 --> 01:36:51,000
Speaker 1: You don't want to, like, you don't want to be

2115
01:36:51,040 --> 01:36:54,880
Speaker 1: the external and verbal about how you're feeling, because again,

2116
01:36:54,960 --> 01:36:56,599
Speaker 1: it's it almost like you know, as.

2117
01:36:56,520 --> 01:36:57,840
Speaker 2: A man, you feel it is like a sign of

2118
01:36:58,040 --> 01:36:59,679
Speaker 2: weakness or like leverage.

2119
01:37:00,520 --> 01:37:03,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just feel like over time,

2120
01:37:03,080 --> 01:37:05,160
Speaker 1: whether it's been through therapy or through any books that

2121
01:37:05,280 --> 01:37:07,960
Speaker 1: I've picked up that's on like communication, you just see

2122
01:37:08,000 --> 01:37:10,920
Speaker 1: the entire world of how to communicate and what it

2123
01:37:11,000 --> 01:37:14,000
Speaker 1: looks like and how to like label emotions and then

2124
01:37:14,080 --> 01:37:17,479
Speaker 1: go from that emotion, or you know, just learning about

2125
01:37:17,640 --> 01:37:22,080
Speaker 1: like asking asking questions, asking yourself questions and how to

2126
01:37:22,280 --> 01:37:25,360
Speaker 1: externalize you know, what's going on inside. I feel like

2127
01:37:25,439 --> 01:37:29,800
Speaker 1: has been like super helpful for myself because yeah, it's

2128
01:37:29,840 --> 01:37:31,439
Speaker 1: like I look back and I see how that's like

2129
01:37:31,560 --> 01:37:36,519
Speaker 1: a oh, that was a weak spot of mine for sure,

2130
01:37:37,720 --> 01:37:40,439
Speaker 1: Cause again it's you. You grow up, you play sports,

2131
01:37:40,520 --> 01:37:42,439
Speaker 1: you do all these things, and it's like you're just

2132
01:37:42,600 --> 01:37:45,599
Speaker 1: like you're a lot of your stuff is through performance

2133
01:37:46,120 --> 01:37:48,439
Speaker 1: and not like you know, taking a moment through each

2134
01:37:48,520 --> 01:37:50,560
Speaker 1: thing and then obstacle that happens to sit there and

2135
01:37:50,600 --> 01:37:52,599
Speaker 1: be vulnerable and talk about like how you're feeling. It's

2136
01:37:52,640 --> 01:37:54,400
Speaker 1: like you don't have time to think about your feelings.

2137
01:37:54,640 --> 01:37:56,120
Speaker 1: And I think you have time for is to get

2138
01:37:56,160 --> 01:37:58,200
Speaker 1: back out there, like you know, work harder, do better,

2139
01:37:58,640 --> 01:37:59,240
Speaker 1: figure it out.

2140
01:37:59,400 --> 01:38:00,720
Speaker 2: I mean, I think there's a place for that too,

2141
01:38:01,320 --> 01:38:02,000
Speaker 2: Like yeah.

2142
01:38:02,080 --> 01:38:05,240
Speaker 1: It's both absolutely, absolutely, but it's like just growing up

2143
01:38:05,280 --> 01:38:08,040
Speaker 1: in that like model, always wanting to be you know,

2144
01:38:08,400 --> 01:38:11,120
Speaker 1: like go after football and just being being an athlete.

2145
01:38:11,200 --> 01:38:14,800
Speaker 1: It's like it just kind of like callouses you or

2146
01:38:14,880 --> 01:38:16,679
Speaker 1: you think it does until it's.

2147
01:38:16,560 --> 01:38:20,320
Speaker 2: Like always say something like yeah I might like someone

2148
01:38:20,400 --> 01:38:24,360
Speaker 2: might think less of me. Yes, yeah, yeah, sounds like

2149
01:38:24,400 --> 01:38:24,880
Speaker 2: on training.

2150
01:38:25,040 --> 01:38:29,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, next question might be my last one. I don't know.

2151
01:38:29,080 --> 01:38:30,360
Speaker 3: Kind of up to you guys. We've been going for

2152
01:38:30,479 --> 01:38:32,040
Speaker 3: an hour forty oh yeah.

2153
01:38:33,080 --> 01:38:35,920
Speaker 4: What is something that Rude does now that makes you

2154
01:38:36,040 --> 01:38:38,800
Speaker 4: excited both of you for who she will become? And

2155
01:38:38,920 --> 01:38:41,080
Speaker 4: like kind of going off of that, what's it something

2156
01:38:41,640 --> 01:38:43,720
Speaker 4: down the road that you're excited for both Rue and

2157
01:38:43,840 --> 01:38:47,400
Speaker 4: Scottie like when they're older or like their next milestone.

2158
01:38:47,000 --> 01:38:47,680
Speaker 3: Like what is that.

2159
01:38:49,760 --> 01:38:51,880
Speaker 1: Scotty's just about to be six months old, So I

2160
01:38:51,920 --> 01:38:53,759
Speaker 1: think it's kind of hard. Like right now, she sleeps

2161
01:38:53,800 --> 01:38:58,200
Speaker 1: really well knock on wood, and she's always smiling. She's

2162
01:38:58,320 --> 01:39:00,960
Speaker 1: she's like an easier baby than what was. But I

2163
01:39:01,000 --> 01:39:02,920
Speaker 1: don't really know, like what her personality is that like

2164
01:39:03,000 --> 01:39:09,760
Speaker 1: excites me with rue. I it's hard to like, you know,

2165
01:39:10,160 --> 01:39:11,640
Speaker 1: be like, oh I got high hopes or I have

2166
01:39:11,760 --> 01:39:15,519
Speaker 1: these expectations, but just like, uh, I don't know. Man.

2167
01:39:15,560 --> 01:39:18,080
Speaker 1: She's very independent, she's got a little sass to her.

2168
01:39:19,479 --> 01:39:22,519
Speaker 1: She's like her spirit is awesome. She loves to play.

2169
01:39:22,640 --> 01:39:25,599
Speaker 1: It seems like she's gonna look like be into sports.

2170
01:39:25,600 --> 01:39:27,960
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's ballet, whatever that stuff is.

2171
01:39:28,120 --> 01:39:29,439
Speaker 1: I'm excited about that stuff.

2172
01:39:30,360 --> 01:39:32,200
Speaker 2: Let's be honest. You're excited about her being an athlete.

2173
01:39:32,479 --> 01:39:34,680
Speaker 1: I'm excited about her potentially being an athlete. Cause I

2174
01:39:34,680 --> 01:39:36,640
Speaker 1: don't want to like put that expectation on her, but

2175
01:39:36,720 --> 01:39:38,360
Speaker 1: I am excited about it. I do think she has

2176
01:39:38,400 --> 01:39:39,840
Speaker 1: it in her, and I do think it excites her

2177
01:39:39,880 --> 01:39:45,439
Speaker 1: when she does stuff outside. She's very uh, she's very

2178
01:39:45,479 --> 01:39:48,320
Speaker 1: good with Scottie, and she like Rue's are wherever her

2179
01:39:48,360 --> 01:39:53,720
Speaker 1: emotions and she's vocal. I feel like she knows how

2180
01:39:53,760 --> 01:39:56,479
Speaker 1: to talk through things. She like you know, loves to teach,

2181
01:39:56,760 --> 01:39:59,160
Speaker 1: Like when she learns something in ballet or whatever she learns,

2182
01:39:59,560 --> 01:40:01,320
Speaker 1: she seems like love to be a teacher, which is

2183
01:40:01,360 --> 01:40:03,400
Speaker 1: something you're gonna have to like also real in. But

2184
01:40:03,479 --> 01:40:05,479
Speaker 1: I feel like she could be like a leader of

2185
01:40:05,560 --> 01:40:07,720
Speaker 1: some sort one day. You just hope that she's going

2186
01:40:07,760 --> 01:40:10,960
Speaker 1: to be, you know, a confident woman, somebody who's somebody

2187
01:40:10,960 --> 01:40:13,160
Speaker 1: who feels confident in any room they walk into, somebody

2188
01:40:13,160 --> 01:40:15,360
Speaker 1: who wants to bring value in any room they walk into.

2189
01:40:15,840 --> 01:40:18,600
Speaker 1: And I feel like she has some of those some

2190
01:40:18,760 --> 01:40:21,320
Speaker 1: of those intangible qualities. And again I'm her dad, so

2191
01:40:21,479 --> 01:40:24,880
Speaker 1: I am biased, but I do feel like, I don't know,

2192
01:40:25,280 --> 01:40:28,400
Speaker 1: I'm excited to like watch her grow up and just

2193
01:40:28,479 --> 01:40:30,000
Speaker 1: to like be her dad, because I feel like she's

2194
01:40:30,080 --> 01:40:33,559
Speaker 1: very receptive to talking with us and communicating and thinking.

2195
01:40:34,000 --> 01:40:36,240
Speaker 1: Like she's somebody who's very aware and observant and asks

2196
01:40:36,240 --> 01:40:40,160
Speaker 1: a lot of questions. And she can recite these bedtime stories,

2197
01:40:40,560 --> 01:40:43,840
Speaker 1: she can recite that book. Her memory is insane, you know,

2198
01:40:43,880 --> 01:40:45,120
Speaker 1: I know, my dad and I sound.

2199
01:40:45,000 --> 01:40:47,720
Speaker 2: Biased, like no songs after listening like two or three times.

2200
01:40:47,960 --> 01:40:50,360
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, same of the books. Yeah,

2201
01:40:50,400 --> 01:40:53,720
Speaker 1: It's like I'm just, uh, I'm excited to see. I'm

2202
01:40:53,720 --> 01:40:54,320
Speaker 1: excited to see.

2203
01:40:55,280 --> 01:40:58,320
Speaker 2: But she's such a performer. She like loves an audience

2204
01:40:58,360 --> 01:41:01,240
Speaker 2: and she loves to like perform, Yeah, which I mean,

2205
01:41:01,439 --> 01:41:04,000
Speaker 2: where did she get that from? Both of us?

2206
01:41:05,439 --> 01:41:10,360
Speaker 1: I guess more you yeah, yeah, yeah, the tunnels. She's

2207
01:41:10,360 --> 01:41:12,760
Speaker 1: half and everybody do things Jack go outside, you know,

2208
01:41:12,920 --> 01:41:16,960
Speaker 1: she's hide seek yeah, hide and seek. Yeah. So she

2209
01:41:17,160 --> 01:41:19,760
Speaker 1: is a little performer, though she does love it, which

2210
01:41:19,840 --> 01:41:20,120
Speaker 1: is cool.

2211
01:41:20,160 --> 01:41:21,320
Speaker 2: I mean, not every kid is like that.

2212
01:41:21,680 --> 01:41:21,880
Speaker 1: Yeah.

2213
01:41:23,040 --> 01:41:24,600
Speaker 2: So I think I'm excited to watch that bloom but

2214
01:41:24,840 --> 01:41:28,080
Speaker 2: with Scotty and Route together, like because like you said,

2215
01:41:28,240 --> 01:41:30,599
Speaker 2: Scotty just kind of she just truly the happiest baby,

2216
01:41:30,640 --> 01:41:33,439
Speaker 2: which I hope plays into her personality overall, Like she'll

2217
01:41:33,520 --> 01:41:36,120
Speaker 2: just be like chill and yeah, who knows, who knows,

2218
01:41:36,400 --> 01:41:38,920
Speaker 2: who knows. But I just can't wait to see them

2219
01:41:39,280 --> 01:41:40,960
Speaker 2: kind of like play together and like talk to each

2220
01:41:41,000 --> 01:41:43,240
Speaker 2: other and like Scotty thing is already learning from real

2221
01:41:43,400 --> 01:41:45,760
Speaker 2: so like the way their relationship will kind of like

2222
01:41:45,880 --> 01:41:49,800
Speaker 2: unfold more as Scotty gets bigger and can do more

2223
01:41:49,840 --> 01:41:50,559
Speaker 2: things other than like.

2224
01:41:52,640 --> 01:41:55,439
Speaker 1: Right, because you notice now like Scotti is just so

2225
01:41:56,160 --> 01:41:58,479
Speaker 1: fascinated by Rue, and you can just tell she's super

2226
01:41:58,560 --> 01:42:02,439
Speaker 1: into Rude watches her lot, like won't notice probably sitting

2227
01:42:02,439 --> 01:42:05,439
Speaker 1: there watching Scotty and she's like watching Rue. It's smiling

2228
01:42:05,520 --> 01:42:07,240
Speaker 1: and ru entertains hers. So it is going to be

2229
01:42:07,320 --> 01:42:08,400
Speaker 1: really cool when and.

2230
01:42:08,479 --> 01:42:10,400
Speaker 2: Like those are like two separate beings that are like

2231
01:42:10,520 --> 01:42:14,080
Speaker 2: not us. They'll have like their own relationship, which is

2232
01:42:14,280 --> 01:42:14,800
Speaker 2: really crazy.

2233
01:42:18,600 --> 01:42:19,680
Speaker 3: I thought of one last one.

2234
01:42:19,960 --> 01:42:20,320
Speaker 1: Go ahead.

2235
01:42:20,760 --> 01:42:22,960
Speaker 4: This is a this is more of a question kind

2236
01:42:23,000 --> 01:42:27,240
Speaker 4: of for me, what made you catch what caught your

2237
01:42:27,280 --> 01:42:28,639
Speaker 4: eye about Will with those teeth?

2238
01:42:30,040 --> 01:42:33,160
Speaker 1: Great question, I mean it's a question for you.

2239
01:42:36,000 --> 01:42:36,880
Speaker 3: No, it was tough.

2240
01:42:37,000 --> 01:42:40,200
Speaker 2: It's like the rest of it just like evened it out.

2241
01:42:40,840 --> 01:42:44,080
Speaker 1: You look back and it's like, yeah, it was a ballplayer.

2242
01:42:43,760 --> 01:42:46,080
Speaker 2: Like that was not a factor for me.

2243
01:42:46,360 --> 01:42:49,000
Speaker 1: I'm sure it was a little maybe like really like

2244
01:42:49,040 --> 01:42:52,080
Speaker 1: a factor, but yeah, subconsciously, it's like like that.

2245
01:42:52,160 --> 01:42:55,240
Speaker 2: Comes with ambition and drive and like athleticism and I

2246
01:42:55,280 --> 01:42:56,080
Speaker 2: don't know what else.

2247
01:42:57,400 --> 01:42:59,240
Speaker 3: And how excited were you when you got the new teeth?

2248
01:43:00,520 --> 01:43:02,960
Speaker 1: I told well, she was telling me not to get them.

2249
01:43:03,479 --> 01:43:05,200
Speaker 2: I didn't tell you not to get them. I told

2250
01:43:05,240 --> 01:43:06,960
Speaker 2: you do what's going to make you happy. I said,

2251
01:43:06,960 --> 01:43:09,200
Speaker 2: I'll be happy either way, and I truly mean that.

2252
01:43:10,000 --> 01:43:10,600
Speaker 2: I still mean it.

2253
01:43:12,200 --> 01:43:14,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, gotta feel good. It does feel good. It does

2254
01:43:14,880 --> 01:43:18,160
Speaker 1: feel good. You think she loves the investment of the

2255
01:43:18,200 --> 01:43:19,280
Speaker 1: new teeth, there's no question.

2256
01:43:19,160 --> 01:43:20,599
Speaker 2: About Yeah, obviously he looks great.

2257
01:43:21,720 --> 01:43:23,639
Speaker 1: It's like you look back at old photos and we're

2258
01:43:23,680 --> 01:43:24,880
Speaker 1: both kind of like Jesus Man.

2259
01:43:24,960 --> 01:43:29,840
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah us was that you? Your neck is

2260
01:43:29,920 --> 01:43:34,720
Speaker 2: like you and like your haircuts a little sometimes your

2261
01:43:34,760 --> 01:43:38,960
Speaker 2: haircuts are a little debatable. Yeah, yeah, and you just

2262
01:43:39,000 --> 01:43:41,120
Speaker 2: didn't smile. So I think what I love the most

2263
01:43:41,160 --> 01:43:44,040
Speaker 2: about Will's new teeth is that he smiles his real

2264
01:43:44,120 --> 01:43:47,280
Speaker 2: smile now or you used to hide your smile and

2265
01:43:47,320 --> 01:43:48,920
Speaker 2: you kind of like had to. You were like a

2266
01:43:48,960 --> 01:43:50,839
Speaker 2: part of you was almost like a little bit ashamed

2267
01:43:50,880 --> 01:43:52,519
Speaker 2: of like who you were and like what you look like.

2268
01:43:52,800 --> 01:43:54,800
Speaker 1: WHOA For sure, I was definitely insecure about them. A

2269
01:43:54,800 --> 01:43:56,320
Speaker 1: little chicklets my mouth.

2270
01:43:56,800 --> 01:43:59,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's like this is giving you like some confidence.

2271
01:44:00,080 --> 01:44:05,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, sweetheart, thank you for yeah, I know, appreciate

2272
01:44:05,400 --> 01:44:09,080
Speaker 1: you for coming on. I do hope people, couples, men,

2273
01:44:09,240 --> 01:44:12,439
Speaker 1: women got something out of this, whether you're going through

2274
01:44:12,479 --> 01:44:14,640
Speaker 1: something right now in fertility, or you're thinking about it,

2275
01:44:14,800 --> 01:44:17,080
Speaker 1: or you're just curious. I'm meeting my wife and getting

2276
01:44:17,120 --> 01:44:20,599
Speaker 1: to know us. Shout out everybody for tuning in again.

2277
01:44:20,680 --> 01:44:23,479
Speaker 1: Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mothers out there.

2278
01:44:23,640 --> 01:44:29,559
Speaker 1: Happy Mother's Day to you sweethearts. Yeah, if you enjoyed

2279
01:44:29,600 --> 01:44:31,880
Speaker 1: this episode, make sure you are subscribed to the channel,

2280
01:44:32,600 --> 01:44:35,640
Speaker 1: drop a comment, big hugs, tiny kisses. We love you,

2281
01:44:35,760 --> 01:44:36,479
Speaker 1: we appreciate you.