Speaker 1: Broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln Radio Studio the George
Speaker 1: Washington Broadcast Center.
Speaker 2: Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty arm Strong and Jetty and
Speaker 2: he Armstrong and Getty Strong and hey we're I'm Strong
Speaker 2: and Getty. We're featuring our podcast One more Thing. Find
Speaker 2: it wherever you find all your podcasts. So this blew
Speaker 2: my mind.
Speaker 3: The other day, my husband and I went to a
Speaker 3: restaurant and we're sitting there eating and I could just
Speaker 3: overhear the conversation happening next to me. It's a mom
Speaker 3: and her daughter who's maybe thirteen.
Speaker 2: Are you aby, Are you a person that can tune
Speaker 2: out people next to you or can't tune out people?
Speaker 2: I cannot yet nuts. I easily can turn out conversations
Speaker 2: with me, But like I have friends and family members
Speaker 2: who can, and you can't talk to them if there's
Speaker 2: someone else talking over there because they can't stop listening
Speaker 2: to them. I guess you're either built that way or
Speaker 2: you're not.
Speaker 4: I have a very hard time tuning out extraneous audio.
Speaker 3: Yeah, same here so and I couldn't tune this out
Speaker 3: at all. And again, she was maybe thirteen, and they're
Speaker 3: talking about something and they weren't agreeing, and this little
Speaker 3: girl goes shut up mom, and the mom didn't react
Speaker 3: and they continue to argue, and my jaw dropped because
Speaker 3: when I was raised telling my parents to shut up,
Speaker 3: I mean, I've never done that. I have never in
Speaker 3: my life told my mom or dad to shut up
Speaker 3: in a serious manner. There was one time my dad
Speaker 3: and I were joking around and I accidentally went to
Speaker 3: shut up, and I stopped dead in my tracks in
Speaker 3: fear because I was like, I know those words aren't uttered, right,
Speaker 3: But I know parenting is changing generationally?
Speaker 2: Is that okay? Now?
Speaker 3: Is telling your parents to shut up like a normal thing?
Speaker 2: Jack? Have your kids ever dared? One kid did once?
Speaker 2: But yeah, no that was not okay. It did not
Speaker 2: go well, okay kids, right?
Speaker 3: I just I don't know if there's if that's a
Speaker 3: shift that's happening where the way you talk to your
Speaker 3: parents is changing. But the way that the mom didn't react,
Speaker 3: I'm sitting there going.
Speaker 2: What I wouldn't take it in any tone, but was
Speaker 2: the tone kind of like the valley go oh, shut up? No,
Speaker 2: they were they were having a serious call. Wow, shut
Speaker 2: your pie hole? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, so that certainly would not have washed in my house.
Speaker 4: I think one of one of the kids may have
Speaker 4: tried it at one point and it went very poorly.
Speaker 4: But how long is a generation?
Speaker 2: They usually say twenty years.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think okay, well all right then, well at
Speaker 4: least my oldest kid in your youngest kid. I raised
Speaker 4: my kids during the previous generation, which is kind of funny.
Speaker 2: Shut up still is not fly with anybody I know.
Speaker 2: I don't think.
Speaker 4: If it does, you need to take a paring in class.
Speaker 2: Okay, Like Kevin Hart's got a bit where he's talking
Speaker 2: about how it turns out he was mistaken but he
Speaker 2: thought his kid he was yelling down to his kid
Speaker 2: to do something, and he thought his kid yelled fu
Speaker 2: said the words to him, and he just like gets what.
Speaker 2: He's like, what what? What just happened here? And the
Speaker 2: crowd just goes berserk about the idea of a kid
Speaker 2: saying that to their parent, which I was happy to hear,
Speaker 2: but that was just like roundly seen as oh my god,
Speaker 2: a nuclear bomb just went off. That is not okay,
Speaker 2: how is he going to react to this? It turns
Speaker 2: out he mishurt his kid over something like that. But yeah, no,
Speaker 2: shut up is not okay, any but any world I
Speaker 2: know of.
Speaker 3: Okay, that brings me some comfort because the kid, the
Speaker 3: girl was similar to your kid's age and I was.
Speaker 2: But the fact that the mom, I mean, she just
Speaker 2: took it, oh boy, that I feel bad for both
Speaker 2: of them because uh almost guaranteed that's a bad situation
Speaker 2: either happening or going to happen. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I remember back when I was raising my kids and
Speaker 4: would talk about it on the air, and people would
Speaker 4: call in or you know, write in with questions and
Speaker 4: that sort of thing. What I thought, and a number
Speaker 4: of times I thought, my first piece of advice is
Speaker 4: get a time machine, because you're asking me how do
Speaker 4: I undo fourteen years of getting it wrong?
Speaker 2: And yeah, you know.
Speaker 4: It's like after your fifth heart attack saying to your doctor,
Speaker 4: you know, well, it's you know what I'm saying. Oh.
Speaker 4: I came across a great thing on parenting that I
Speaker 4: was going to edit for the show because it's long,
Speaker 4: but I wish, wish, wish I'd read it when my
Speaker 4: kids were young. Jonah Goldberg actually wrote it. He's quoting
Speaker 4: a bunch of other people, but he's talking about how
Speaker 4: there's a new book by a developmental psychologist who had
Speaker 4: never heard of before, Alison Kropnik. But the name of
Speaker 4: the book is The Gardener and the Carpenter, and she
Speaker 4: points out that the very word parenting really only emerged
Speaker 4: in the fifties and didn't become popular until the seventies
Speaker 4: because until the fifties, people generally lived in their hometown
Speaker 4: near all their relatives, and they would just observe and
Speaker 4: everybody's there to help, and you didn't have to learn
Speaker 4: about parenting.
Speaker 2: It was self evident.
Speaker 4: You saw it all the time, and your mentors were
Speaker 4: around you anyway. But then in the seventies, people got
Speaker 4: more isolated, more mobile, they moved away and that sort
Speaker 4: of thing, and you had these parenting experts pop up.
Speaker 2: And often with no kids or bad kids. Right, that's right, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: there's plenty of that too. But ms.
Speaker 4: Gropnik point says that parents began to think like carpenters,
Speaker 4: who have a clear idea in mind of what they're
Speaker 4: trying to achieve. They look carefully at the materials they
Speaker 4: have to work with, and it's their job to assemble
Speaker 4: those materials into a finished project, the project or product
Speaker 4: that can be judged by everyone against clear standards. Are
Speaker 4: the right angles? Perfect does the door work? Kropnik notes
Speaker 4: that the messiness and veriability are a carpenter's enemies. Precision
Speaker 4: and control are her allies. Measure twice, cut once, et cetera,
Speaker 4: and her thing. And I've got to admit I don't
Speaker 4: want to get too deep into this because it's incredibly
Speaker 4: serious and will make me very sad. But I was
Speaker 4: influenced by a calmnist to is a so called parenting expert,
Speaker 4: and he was very much of the carpenter's school. And
Speaker 4: when I ran into a kid with special needs, specifically
Speaker 4: on the autism spectrum, that was the last thing I needed.
Speaker 4: The last thing I needed was a carpenter's point of
Speaker 4: view about parenting.
Speaker 2: And MS.
Speaker 4: Kropnick's thing here and I haven't read the book is
Speaker 4: a better way to think about child wearing is as
Speaker 4: a guard. Your job is to create a protected and
Speaker 4: nurturing space for plants to flourish. It takes work, but
Speaker 4: you don't have to be a perfectionist. Weed the garden,
Speaker 4: water it. Step back and the plants will do their
Speaker 4: things unpredictably and often with delightful surprises. And it's not
Speaker 4: like a hippie dippy, anything goes she's talking about weeding
Speaker 4: the garden and doing what needs to be done.
Speaker 2: But you're not a carpenter or a gardener.
Speaker 5: What exactly is the carpenter's way. I don't know what
Speaker 5: you're talking about as far as the carpenter's view.
Speaker 2: Would it be fair to say, it's just like, there's
Speaker 2: one way to do it, one size fits all to
Speaker 2: get this to come out right?
Speaker 4: Essentially, Yeah, it's cut and dried. There are a list
Speaker 4: of rules, you follow them, it'll be fine. As opposed
Speaker 4: to a garden, where it's much more about nurturing than
Speaker 4: forcing that it's absolutely inevitably going to go sideways at times.
Speaker 4: If you're a good carpenter, it doesn't go sideways. You
Speaker 4: can make cabinet after cabinet after cabinet, and if a
Speaker 4: mistake is or if something goes wrong, that's utterly unacceptable.
Speaker 4: Whereas as a gardener, something's always going to go wrong.
Speaker 4: That's what the job is and you have to adapt.
Speaker 2: Yeah. The only thing I could say to your situation
Speaker 2: you overhard, Katie, because I've kind of lived this myself,
Speaker 2: is I've got one kid that's got all kinds of
Speaker 2: diagnosed things and kinds of medication and all kinds of things.
Speaker 2: He has said and done things that if his brother
Speaker 2: did them, it would be the end of the world.
Speaker 2: But the kid that's got all these various situations, he's
Speaker 2: not always in control of everything he does. And also,
Speaker 2: if you react a certain way you're about I mean,
Speaker 2: she might have a kid that if she had said
Speaker 2: anything to that kid at that moment about that, the
Speaker 2: table's getting flipped over. I mean, the police are coming
Speaker 2: that sort of thing. Possibly, I don't.
Speaker 3: Even think of that possible circumstance that there could you
Speaker 3: know that all could have had that problem.
Speaker 4: Final bit of wisdom learned too late, at least harshly,
Speaker 4: is when I first became a youth sports coach, I
Speaker 4: think I went I can't remember where this came from,
Speaker 4: but it was pointed out to me that you don't
Speaker 4: coach all of your players the same You coach all
Speaker 4: of your players the way they need to be coached.
Speaker 4: Some kids respond well to like the old school disciplined
Speaker 4: to bark at them some because some kids shut down
Speaker 4: and you're not going to make them a better player
Speaker 4: a better person doing that. You got to figure out
Speaker 4: how to pick their locks. And parenting's a lot like
Speaker 4: that too. If you think it's as mathematical and and
Speaker 4: cut and dried as carpentry, you're going to do it wrong.
Speaker 2: So how did how did the things turn out with
Speaker 2: the woman and the kid who said shut up? Did
Speaker 2: they just eventually did they stop talking or did they
Speaker 2: eventually get up and leave?
Speaker 3: They went back and forth for like maybe another thirty seconds,
Speaker 3: and then their food came and I checked out of
Speaker 3: that conversation pretty much.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it shocked me.
Speaker 3: But I like that gardening analogy because that makes more
Speaker 3: sense that you're going to have more room to kind
Speaker 3: of wiggle when things go awry.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know about that mom
Speaker 2: dealing with her kid, but like, I only think about
Speaker 2: my parenting roughly eighty percent of the time all day long.
Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: Now that's not to say there are no rules in gardening.
Speaker 4: For instance, if you feed gatorade to plants, they will die,
Speaker 4: as outlined hilariously in the classic movie slash documentary Idiocracy.
Speaker 4: All right, of course, that it wasn't gatorade. It was
Speaker 4: called what brono brondo or electrolytes.
Speaker 2: It's got electrolytes.
Speaker 1: Jack Armstrong and Joe the Armstrong and Getty Show.
Speaker 2: Hey we're Armstrong and Getty. We're featuring our podcast one
Speaker 2: more thing.
Speaker 6: Find it.
Speaker 2: We're atver you find all your podcasts.
Speaker 4: I came across this parable and I'm not exactly sure
Speaker 4: what to think about it. I think I know what
Speaker 4: to think, but I thought it was entertaining. The donkey
Speaker 4: told the tiger, the grass is blue. The tiger replied, no,
Speaker 4: the grass is green. The discussion became heated, and the
Speaker 4: two decided to submit the issue to arbitration. So they
Speaker 4: approached the lion, who apparently is in charge, of course,
Speaker 4: king of the jungle, King of the beasts. Sure, donkey,
Speaker 4: donkeys and lions coabitating, all right, and getting in arguments
Speaker 4: with tigers anyway. As they approached the lion on his throne,
Speaker 4: the donkey started screaming.
Speaker 2: Yours your itis. Isn't it true the grass is blue?
Speaker 4: The lion replied, if you believe it is true, the
Speaker 4: grass is blue. The donkey rushed forward and continued, the
Speaker 4: tiger disagrees with me. He contradicts me and annoys me.
Speaker 4: They should have thrown it. It's a microaggression. Please please
Speaker 4: punish him. He's triggering me exactly. Yeah, I got to
Speaker 4: rewrite this to make it even more sickening. Let's see.
Speaker 4: The king then declines speech. The tiger will be punished
Speaker 4: with three days of silence.
Speaker 2: Got to keep his giant, beitoothed mouth shut. That's the punish.
Speaker 4: The donkey jump with joy and went on his way,
Speaker 4: content and repeating, the grass is blue, the grass is blue.
Speaker 4: The tiger asks the lion, your majesty, why have you
Speaker 4: punished me? After all the grass is green. The lion replied,
Speaker 4: you've known and seen that the grass is green. The
Speaker 4: tiger asked, so, why do you punish me. The lion replied,
Speaker 4: that has nothing to do with the question of whether
Speaker 4: the grass is blue or green. The punishment is because
Speaker 4: it is degrading for a brave, intelligent creature like you
Speaker 4: to waste time arguing with an ass and on top
Speaker 4: of that, you came and bothered me with that question
Speaker 4: just to validate something you already knew was true. The
Speaker 4: biggest waste of time is arguing with the fool and
Speaker 4: fanatic who doesn't care about the truth or reality, but
Speaker 4: only the victory of his beliefs and illusions. Never waste
Speaker 4: time on discussions that make no sense. There are people who,
Speaker 4: for all the evidence presented to them, do not have
Speaker 4: the ability to understand others who are blinded by ego, hatred,
Speaker 4: and resentment, and the only thing that they want is
Speaker 4: to be right, even if they aren't.
Speaker 2: So arguing with the.
Speaker 4: Actual donkey, the donctivist, if you will, I can.
Speaker 2: See what I won't, I can say I like it.
Speaker 4: A great example of this is when you have the
Speaker 4: two activist groups screaming at each other in the street
Speaker 4: over the barricades, and the poor cops are rolling their
Speaker 4: eyes thinking, oh my god, I hope I go home
Speaker 4: without getting.
Speaker 2: Hit over the head with something that's stupid.
Speaker 4: But if the donkeys of the world have taken over
Speaker 4: your public school, don't you have to As the lion
Speaker 4: point out that they're teaching the lion cubs perverse thing.
Speaker 2: Does it ever do any good? I'm not sure it
Speaker 2: ever does any good? Like you, of course it does. Well,
Speaker 2: you have to uh, well, you're not going to convince them.
Speaker 2: You just have more people, I guess. I guess the
Speaker 2: thing would be if you got other people like witnessing this,
Speaker 2: and you've got to convince them, but convincing the one
Speaker 2: the one person they're not going to change their mind. Well, right,
Speaker 2: And that's what.
Speaker 4: Bothers me a little bit about this parable, and it's
Speaker 4: thought provoking anyway. Is if you go if you as
Speaker 4: the tiger, for instance, saying confused adolescent girls should not
Speaker 4: be told they're actually little boys because puberty scary, especially
Speaker 4: for girls.
Speaker 2: If you are the tiger.
Speaker 4: Advocating that, and you go to the lion of the electorate,
Speaker 4: that's what you have to do. I mean, if it's
Speaker 4: just a story about animals in the forest at each other,
Speaker 4: then it's not a parable. It's just a mildly amusing story.
Speaker 4: But if it's a parable, it obviously has.
Speaker 2: Something to do with as a humankind.
Speaker 4: And if you've got the donkey pitching that the grass
Speaker 4: is blow oh and it's like infected the public schools
Speaker 4: and your kids come home with a dad, you're wrong,
Speaker 4: the grass is blue. And my teacher says, you're a
Speaker 4: hater and a racist for saying that you gotta go
Speaker 4: to the lion, don't you.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I suppose, But I think the parable works
Speaker 2: for just individuals which I was picturing. I wasn't picturing
Speaker 2: the public square is just if I recognize the guy
Speaker 2: at the end of the bar is like the donkey
Speaker 2: about some topic, I'm not going to engage them. What's
Speaker 2: the freaking point?
Speaker 4: Oh I agree with that one hundred percent Katie's thoughts
Speaker 4: on the donkeys.
Speaker 2: There's no place in time or space where donkeys and
Speaker 2: lions have been in the same orbit, is there unless
Speaker 2: the lion's already full, let alone talking donkeys and talking lions. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's what I was stuck on. Yeah, a donkey lion
Speaker 2: having a conversation. This is baffling, exactly. It's a parable.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm skull, come on over my head. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you're right. It's an individual thing and fair enough and
Speaker 2: very very true. Do not Well, I know some people
Speaker 2: feel it seems like they enjoy it. There's no point
Speaker 2: in arguing with some people about some topics. Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: Well, and the fact that a lot of people just
Speaker 4: want to be quote unquote they want to win the argument.
Speaker 2: They don't care if they're right. It works both ways too.
Speaker 2: I mean, sometimes I've been I don't think I've ever
Speaker 2: said this, but I've been in conversation before where I
Speaker 2: could say, look, I've thought and read about this a lot.
Speaker 2: Nothing's gonna change my mind. I mean, you can say
Speaker 2: it louder and slower if you like your opinion, but
Speaker 2: it's not going to change my mind.
Speaker 4: So or you can hint that I'm an idiot for
Speaker 4: not agreeing with you, but you're really wasting your time
Speaker 4: and mine, you donkey. Interestingly enough, Kentucky bluegrass is not
Speaker 4: blue either.
Speaker 2: It's slightly bluer. I was disappointed in that by a
Speaker 2: kid as a kid, not by a kid as a kid.
Speaker 2: When I heard about bluegrass, I thought, this is gonna
Speaker 2: be awesome. My dad got bluegrass for the yard, didn't
Speaker 2: InformATE it. All the other kids are going to be
Speaker 2: so chell us. Yeah, grass is blue, is merged Simpson's hair.
Speaker 2: This is gonna be great. You guys just ruined my dad.
Speaker 2: I didn't know this. You didn't, all right?
Speaker 4: No, never been to Kentucky then, huh.
Speaker 3: No, I have not, and I have all these dreams.
Speaker 3: I just pictured blue lawns everywhere.
Speaker 2: I pictured that too. Yeah, I pictured that, and I
Speaker 2: just had it in my mind. It looks so fantastic,
Speaker 2: turned on not to be true.
Speaker 4: Bluebirds are blue, berries are blue. There's grasses green w.
Speaker 1: T F The Armstrong and Getty Show or your show,
Speaker 1: podcasts and our hot links.
Speaker 4: This is the Armstrong and Getty Show featuring our podcast
Speaker 4: one more thing, get it wherever you like to get podcasts.
Speaker 2: So we're about to play a cliff of John Cougar
Speaker 2: mellencamp uh talking at a concert. Is this one of
Speaker 2: the concerts that he's doing with Willie Nelson and Bob Dylan?
Speaker 2: Or is he on his own here on his own hair?
Speaker 2: So he's touring with I know he's going to be
Speaker 2: I think at the Hollywood Bowl in LA which i'd
Speaker 2: like to see melonhead Willie Nelson and the ancient Bob Dylan.
Speaker 2: Of course, Bob Dylan's not ancient compared to Willie Nelson,
Speaker 2: who just turned ninety. All right, it's got to be
Speaker 2: something when he sings. I was just reading a set
Speaker 2: list on these concerts, and Willie sings among these classics. Funny,
Speaker 2: how time slips away? Did it slip away? You've been
Speaker 2: on ninety years. I don't think it slipped away. Something
Speaker 2: happened to you when you were thirty, Eh, it was
Speaker 2: sixty years ago. It didn't just slip away. But I
Speaker 2: thought the set list would be interesting. It's not really.
Speaker 2: It's pretty much the songs you expect, melonhead sings, pink houses,
Speaker 2: and you know that sort of stuff. I wonder why
Speaker 2: he's touring.
Speaker 4: A couple of years ago, he said he had no
Speaker 4: interest in being a jukebox. If people didn't particularly want
Speaker 4: to hear new music or new versions of old songs.
Speaker 2: That's fine. He had no interest in being a jukebox.
Speaker 2: He did get a tooth knocked out by his kid,
Speaker 2: like a year or so ago. Did that cause him
Speaker 2: any financial difficulties? He and his son got in a fistfight.
Speaker 4: I don't imagine he can afford basic dentistry.
Speaker 2: But I don't know.
Speaker 4: I have no idea of his financial wherewithal. Why is
Speaker 4: WILLI doing it? That's just what he does. I don't
Speaker 4: think he can imagine any other life, right, And like
Speaker 4: Keith Richards the Rolling Stones, why in the world would
Speaker 4: they play more shows, much less launch a giant tour?
Speaker 5: Well, I think Willie, that's what they do. Willie's paying
Speaker 5: off his tax debts, right, I.
Speaker 2: Don't know if he still has that. But that story
Speaker 2: was thirty years ago, Michael. But he also he travels
Speaker 2: with his sons I've watched some of the videos from
Speaker 2: the bus and his kids are like sixty so, but
Speaker 2: he travels with the sons who are in the band too,
Speaker 2: so it's probably probably a pretty good time. I mean,
Speaker 2: what would be better than that? Really? Actually, I can't
Speaker 2: think of anything that would be better than that. So,
Speaker 2: and then Bob Dylan. I don't know what Bob Dylan's doing.
Speaker 2: He is a same man. He doesn't the money or
Speaker 2: the acclaim or the maybe he likes hotels, I don't know.
Speaker 2: But John Cougar is on stage for a while, and
Speaker 2: do we need to know anything else about that? Just no,
Speaker 2: he starts, he's just talking to the crowd. Okay, here
Speaker 2: we go, and she went.
Speaker 4: It's just like he ready to be a smart like
Speaker 4: from when I'm talking to Jesus.
Speaker 2: And then he got real quiet. What do you think?
Speaker 4: I mean, Hey, Joe, find this guy and then they
Speaker 4: see him after the show.
Speaker 2: Anyway, before I was saludely interrupted, guys, I can solve
Speaker 2: this show right now. I'm just doing.
Speaker 3: Since you've been so wonderful, I'm going to cut about
Speaker 3: ten songs.
Speaker 2: Out of the show. So that's a tape of over
Speaker 2: did he actually leave? Wow? And he actually left. That's
Speaker 2: not cool. Don't let an a hole and the show.
Speaker 4: So you heard that the crowd was entirely on your side,
Speaker 4: just one guy.
Speaker 2: So it's into a story. Some guy play some music,
Speaker 2: which is hurtful if you're telling a story that you
Speaker 2: think is either funny or important or something like that. Right,
Speaker 2: and but yeah, I think the rest of the crowd
Speaker 2: was at least willing to listen to your story, if
Speaker 2: not enthusiastic about it. Yeah, that was weir.
Speaker 4: No, it sounded like they were with him. They laughed
Speaker 4: at the joke and everything. It was just fine.
Speaker 3: And some of them even went ah, hey at the
Speaker 3: guy who interrupt them.
Speaker 2: So a lot of people did. Yeah. So then he
Speaker 2: plays like six bars of Jack and Dian leaves. Wow. Yeah,
Speaker 2: he's old and bitter. I ain't have time for that.
Speaker 2: I have thought about this a lot. I so on
Speaker 2: Charlie Rose, which I miss a lot. The TV show
Speaker 2: he had in the same week. I think John Mellencamp
Speaker 2: and John Prine. If you don't know Joan Prine, he
Speaker 2: was a very old singer songwriter who never had commercial
Speaker 2: success like John Mellencamp, but was hugely adored by people
Speaker 2: who like music. Anyway, He died COVID but had him
Speaker 2: on both that week, so they're both super old and
Speaker 2: at the end of their careers. And it struck me
Speaker 2: how John Prine had what I hope I can have
Speaker 2: when I'm old, but I don't think I can because
Speaker 2: I don't even have it now. He just had. He
Speaker 2: just had like a rye. This is kind of funny,
Speaker 2: isn't it, view of getting older? I mean, this is
Speaker 2: almost amusing what this is like, the health problems and
Speaker 2: the this and the that, and the kids and the
Speaker 2: marriage and just the way these songs were like that too.
Speaker 2: But John Mellencamp was clearly a bitter it went by
Speaker 2: too fast, sad, and I relate to those feelings, but
Speaker 2: just you know, I wish I wish I were still thirty,
Speaker 2: you know, that sort of thing, And I thought those
Speaker 2: are there's two really good examples, has nothing to do
Speaker 2: with being famous. Of how you approach getting older. You
Speaker 2: either just accept it and kind of enjoy it and
Speaker 2: marvel at its everything that's it's evolved, or be really
Speaker 2: bitter that you're not thirty and cool anymore, like Mellencamp was.
Speaker 2: And I just thought that was interesting, and I can
Speaker 2: say heard a little of it there. Yeah, I think. Well,
Speaker 2: let me start with this.
Speaker 4: Was playing golf the other day and we saw some
Speaker 4: distance away a mutual friend talked about him a little bit.
Speaker 4: One of the most cheerful guys you've ever met. This
Speaker 4: guy wakes up in the morning, cheerful, he goes to
Speaker 4: bed cheerful. He's just made like that, and it's it's
Speaker 4: an amazing blessing. And I commented to my buddy, who
Speaker 4: also has a more than one kid, I said, anybody
Speaker 4: who's raised multiple kids knows you come out of the
Speaker 4: womb like that, or you don't. I've always said that,
Speaker 4: And this number is pulled out of my imagination that
Speaker 4: you got maybe about fifteen twenty percent around the edges.
Speaker 4: You can push yourself in this way or push yourself
Speaker 4: in that way, but you are who you are.
Speaker 2: And I just I don't know.
Speaker 4: Could John Mellencamp have ever been John Prine in his
Speaker 4: old age?
Speaker 2: Maybe? I don't know. I don't know either. You're I
Speaker 2: think you're right about that.
Speaker 4: And at fifteen and twenty percent, you could either go
Speaker 4: fifteen percent more bitter and awful or fifteen percent more
Speaker 4: cheerful and optimistic, and that that makes a big difference
Speaker 4: in your life. I'm not saying it's insignificant. I'm just
Speaker 4: and my buddy's name is Dan. I was born annoyed.
Speaker 4: I'm never going to be Dan, right, and I love
Speaker 4: the guy and we're good friends. Actually, I think my
Speaker 4: acerbic eye rolling view of the world is amusing to him,
Speaker 4: and blah blah whatever it works. The one thing I know,
Speaker 4: and I try, I've tried to be honest about this
Speaker 4: with myself. All of us want, all of us attribute
Speaker 4: our good qualities to choice and our bad qualities to genetics.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got a strength of character.
Speaker 4: Yeah, all the good things about me are because I
Speaker 4: chose to be that way, and I.
Speaker 2: Worked hard to be that right, right. I gotta admit
Speaker 2: when I when I was taking in the two different
Speaker 2: attitudes about growing old and your and your your best
Speaker 2: days being behind you, I related to the emotions of
Speaker 2: John Mellencamp a lot more than John Brown. I'd like
Speaker 2: to be like John Bryan, but I feel in my head,
Speaker 2: in my heart more like John Mellencamp, for whatever reason,
Speaker 2: because I think I'm born that way.
Speaker 6: I was.
Speaker 2: This is where I am.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then there's the question of epigenetics, which is
Speaker 4: one of my favorite things I've ever learned. You have
Speaker 4: your genetics, but then you've got a bunch of things
Speaker 4: in your genes.
Speaker 2: Try to end up with a half cat, half dog
Speaker 2: sort of situation. Is that what that is? Yeah, that's
Speaker 2: that's right, exactly.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, No, it's there are like triggers that you
Speaker 4: have genetically, and if certain things happen to you or
Speaker 4: you run into them, that those switches might be flipped.
Speaker 4: But if you don't go through those things, they won't
Speaker 4: be If your environment is you have good nutrition or whatever,
Speaker 4: it'll never manifest itself itself. It's not like the entirety
Speaker 4: of who you are is determined by your genetics. Your
Speaker 4: experience and your life plays a role too in various ways.
Speaker 4: But you know, we're in the early days of really
Speaker 4: understanding that stuff.
Speaker 2: I just remember. So they both sang songs that week,
Speaker 2: and John Prine's song at that time. This is the
Speaker 2: last album before he died. I think it was When
Speaker 2: I Get to Heaven, And there's a line in there
Speaker 2: something about I'm gonna kiss that pretty girl on the
Speaker 2: tilted Whirl. I'm gonna smoke a cigarette that's nine miles long.
Speaker 2: It's it's like looking back on the best parts of
Speaker 2: your life and wanting to relive them, or getting to
Speaker 2: smoke cigarette again. And John Couer had a line in
Speaker 2: his song and all your best efforts don't amount to
Speaker 2: anything anymore, And I thought, wow, that's just such two
Speaker 2: different views of where you are at the end of
Speaker 2: your career. And one of you is happy and one
Speaker 2: of you is miserable. But like you said, maybe you
Speaker 2: can't control that. I don't know.
Speaker 4: I don't know. That's interesting acceptance is that how much
Speaker 4: of that is inborn your capacity to just accept your
Speaker 4: life and it's reality.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be a really bitter old person. I think
Speaker 2: I'm pretty bitter young. Yeah, well I can see that.
Speaker 2: I will be quite self deprecating, but a bitter Oprah.
Speaker 1: The Armstrong and Getty Show, Yeah, or Jack your show,
Speaker 1: podcasts and our hot links.
Speaker 2: Hey we're Armstrong and Getty. We're featuring our podcast one
Speaker 2: more thing. Find it wherever you find all your podcasts.
Speaker 4: Fathers get a day, but we get a month of
Speaker 4: alphabet soup.
Speaker 2: I like to the alternate people, what I don't think
Speaker 2: that's the society is this. I think that's the point
Speaker 2: of Pride Month.
Speaker 4: And that's so it's all due respect to my my
Speaker 4: gay friends who are uniformly with the meme I saw
Speaker 4: the other day.
Speaker 2: LGB is all we need. The rest is not us well,
Speaker 2: and it's not just a month, as you know, there
Speaker 2: are a whole bunch of other weeks and days around
Speaker 2: the same theme throughout the years, so it's not just
Speaker 2: a month a year.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but fathers get a day. And the reason that
Speaker 4: into my mind as we have some kind of Father's
Speaker 4: Day related stuff and you know, maybe it would have
Speaker 4: been better then because fathers only get one day. Then
Speaker 4: you ought to shut up about the importance of fathers.
Speaker 2: Hey, you weren't here on Friday when Katie and I
Speaker 2: and Michael had the discussion that we've had for many
Speaker 2: years of looking for a Father's Day card and trying
Speaker 2: to find one that's not a joke about flatulence or
Speaker 2: drinking beer or watching TV. Mother's Day cards are all
Speaker 2: you know, There are some joke Mother's Day cards, but
Speaker 2: there's tons of how important and valued and crucial mothers are.
Speaker 2: Dad's Day cards are all jokes about. Yeah, what I
Speaker 2: just said yeah, yeah, very true.
Speaker 4: So anyway, why would be we be in the least
Speaker 4: hesitant to continue Father's Day thoughts or respect or that
Speaker 4: sort of thing. Let's begin with Clip Tenant's Tristan cass Casas.
Speaker 4: He's a Boston Red Sox player, telling us a story
Speaker 4: about his dad.
Speaker 6: So I'm in coach pitch and you know, I'm so young,
Speaker 6: I don't really know what's going on at this point. Still,
Speaker 6: I'm still just playing baseball just to burn calories and
Speaker 6: get out there and get some son right right. And
Speaker 6: you know, I get out one day and I come
Speaker 6: back to the dug out crying, pissed, And you know,
Speaker 6: that's that's what a six year old does. He sits
Speaker 6: on the bench and he cries, and he doesn't want
Speaker 6: to go out there when you know.
Speaker 2: His team's playing defense.
Speaker 6: So my dad, you know, being the dad that he is,
Speaker 6: trying to teach me the lessons that he did in
Speaker 6: his own special way, came into the dugout. He actually
Speaker 6: grabbed me by my shirt, dragged me to the line,
Speaker 6: and looney Tune style kicked me out onto the field
Speaker 6: and actually had one of my best friends that I
Speaker 6: went to high school with. Later he ended up playing
Speaker 6: pro ball. His mom actually called child services. I'm like
Speaker 6: dad at the field, no, no, no, for real, there's
Speaker 6: no joke at the field. I see my dad go
Speaker 6: away in the cop car gets arrested.
Speaker 2: Send the nice of joke here.
Speaker 6: But that day, that day, my dad taught me a
Speaker 6: super valuable lesson that not a lot of people know.
Speaker 6: And it's that I had a responsibility to my teammates,
Speaker 6: I had a responsibility to my coaches, to the parents
Speaker 6: that showed up that day, all the fans who were
Speaker 6: at that little league game, whatever it may be, to
Speaker 6: go out there and give my best effort, no matter
Speaker 6: how I was feeling on the bench, no matter what
Speaker 6: I was going through that day, or whatever little hardship
Speaker 6: that I was feeling when I got out, that I
Speaker 6: still apply every single time, because sometimes I just want
Speaker 6: to sit down on this bench after I get out
Speaker 6: and I want to weave and I want to cry.
Speaker 6: But that's that's not how baseball is. So yeah, I
Speaker 6: love my dad to death. I wouldn't have this opportunity
Speaker 6: without him. But yeah, funny little excerpt that's about that.
Speaker 6: That's the type of gay my dad is.
Speaker 2: So that's true that I like the Looney Tuth reference.
Speaker 2: It is an amazing story.
Speaker 3: That took a turn though she called CPS and they
Speaker 3: actually spent the night in jail.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow, did not see that coming. Wow. Yeah, Ed
Speaker 2: is a good story. Also, like the fact that he's
Speaker 2: six and he said the reason he was playing was
Speaker 2: to burn calories get some sun. I ever thought about
Speaker 2: that when I was six. I better work off this
Speaker 2: pomp tart.
Speaker 4: Well, wow, that second shot with Chip Cookie was totally unnecessary.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go play some baseball. Yeah, that's that's funny.
Speaker 4: It reminds me of a conversation we've had before that
Speaker 4: you know, the and it's a cliche and certainly the
Speaker 4: roles overlap. But when little Johnny skins his knee, Mom is,
Speaker 4: oh honey, oh no, and Dad's like, you'll be fine,
Speaker 4: You'll be great, and that whole And I remember my
Speaker 4: dad was my baseball coach a lot too, and he
Speaker 4: would come out to the mound when I was pitching,
Speaker 4: and I've said this, told this story before too. He'd
Speaker 4: say get this guy out or I'm gonna pull you.
Speaker 4: And it wasn't cruelty. It was a way to focus
Speaker 4: me and to say you know you have a job
Speaker 4: to do. Here is what it is. I'm not out
Speaker 4: of here. I'm not out here to tell you everything's
Speaker 4: gonna be okay, because telling you go do it is
Speaker 4: telling you everything's going to be okay, telling you, ah,
Speaker 4: you're fine, go run and play. It's a empowering message
Speaker 4: to look at me a man to man, even as
Speaker 4: like a fifteen year old, and say focus, get.
Speaker 2: This guy out.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 2: That's a compliment shift we've experienced. Yeah, i'd say, oh yeah,
Speaker 2: I can.
Speaker 4: Plus, you know, as I've said before, I was like, you,
Speaker 4: damn right, I'm getting this guy out.
Speaker 2: You're not pulling me. And it's just it's that's.
Speaker 4: What coaching is. That's what man to man coaching is. Now,
Speaker 4: it can cross the line into being an a hole
Speaker 4: if you're a bad coach, but it was a very
Speaker 4: good coach.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Anxiety. It's going to cause anxiety.
Speaker 3: This is reminded me of a story my dad told me.
Speaker 3: He played football in high school and my grandfather, his
Speaker 3: dad was a surgeon, and my dad took a cleat
Speaker 3: to the shin during a game and my granddad sewed
Speaker 3: him up in the team. Team locker room and then
Speaker 3: said get your ass back out there.
Speaker 2: And this was during the Civil War, Yeah, pretty much,
Speaker 2: I as well been mid sixties.
Speaker 4: On the other hand, Katie, do we need any setup
Speaker 4: for clip twelve?
Speaker 3: No, this is just where we're headed if this woke
Speaker 3: crap continues.
Speaker 7: Hey, non binary offspring, Hey, non gender specific parent. Just
Speaker 7: wanted to let you know that dinner is ready if
Speaker 7: you can sent to it. Of course I don't. I
Speaker 7: don't consent. Well, I was thinking maybe in an hour
Speaker 7: or so, if you're up to it, me and your
Speaker 7: other non gender specific parent can sit in the living
Speaker 7: room and breathe for a little bit if it doesn't
Speaker 7: trigger you. Of course, you know, I'm not sure if
Speaker 7: I'm triggered by that or offended. I quite honestly, I
Speaker 7: don't know what to feel anymore. Trust me, I don't
Speaker 7: know either.
Speaker 2: Honey.
Speaker 7: Oh my god, did you just call me honey?
Speaker 2: Oh my god?
Speaker 7: I am so sorry. That's harassment. Please don't tweet about this.
Speaker 7: I already did. Well, it looks like my career is over.
Speaker 7: Well maybe I think twenty times before you talk, we'll
Speaker 7: have to live on the streets. Well, that doesn't matter
Speaker 7: to me, because my feelings are more important than all
Speaker 7: of our physical well beings. Okay, well, I'm gonna go
Speaker 7: into the living room and cry I love you.
Speaker 2: You don't have to say it back.
Speaker 7: I'm not going to wow.
Speaker 4: Parent and child in the year twenty sixty.
Speaker 2: That's pretty good. I don't know if I'm triggered or offended.
Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm feeling anymore. I can't believe
Speaker 2: that dude's dad spent the night in jail. Yeah, all right,
Speaker 2: I gotta ask how hard did he kick him? I
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 4: The boy looking back is he's full of love and
Speaker 4: he did the right thing and laughing about it, So yeah,
Speaker 4: he does.
Speaker 2: I don't know. That's crazy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, Wow, that's quite a story.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 5: They kicked each other pretty hard in those Limy Tunes cartoons.
Speaker 2: Occasionally it was borderline brutality. Michael, you quit right, The
Speaker 2: Armstrong and Getty Show.