1 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:14,200 Speaker 1: Broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln Radio Studio the George 2 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:15,680 Speaker 1: Washington Broadcast Center. 3 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,759 Speaker 2: Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty arm Strong and Jetty and 4 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:32,200 Speaker 2: he Armstrong and Getty Strong and hey we're I'm Strong 5 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,960 Speaker 2: and Getty. We're featuring our podcast One more Thing. Find 6 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 2: it wherever you find all your podcasts. So this blew 7 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:38,520 Speaker 2: my mind. 8 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 3: The other day, my husband and I went to a 9 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:42,839 Speaker 3: restaurant and we're sitting there eating and I could just 10 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 3: overhear the conversation happening next to me. It's a mom 11 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 3: and her daughter who's maybe thirteen. 12 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,040 Speaker 2: Are you aby, Are you a person that can tune 13 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:53,040 Speaker 2: out people next to you or can't tune out people? 14 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 2: I cannot yet nuts. I easily can turn out conversations 15 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 2: with me, But like I have friends and family members 16 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 2: who can, and you can't talk to them if there's 17 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:05,120 Speaker 2: someone else talking over there because they can't stop listening 18 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 2: to them. I guess you're either built that way or 19 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:07,440 Speaker 2: you're not. 20 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:11,360 Speaker 4: I have a very hard time tuning out extraneous audio. 21 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, same here so and I couldn't tune this out 22 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 3: at all. And again, she was maybe thirteen, and they're 23 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 3: talking about something and they weren't agreeing, and this little 24 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 3: girl goes shut up mom, and the mom didn't react 25 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 3: and they continue to argue, and my jaw dropped because 26 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 3: when I was raised telling my parents to shut up, 27 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,080 Speaker 3: I mean, I've never done that. I have never in 28 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:41,080 Speaker 3: my life told my mom or dad to shut up 29 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,760 Speaker 3: in a serious manner. There was one time my dad 30 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 3: and I were joking around and I accidentally went to 31 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 3: shut up, and I stopped dead in my tracks in 32 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,800 Speaker 3: fear because I was like, I know those words aren't uttered, right, 33 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 3: But I know parenting is changing generationally? 34 00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 2: Is that okay? Now? 35 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 3: Is telling your parents to shut up like a normal thing? 36 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:05,320 Speaker 2: Jack? Have your kids ever dared? One kid did once? 37 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,560 Speaker 2: But yeah, no that was not okay. It did not 38 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:09,880 Speaker 2: go well, okay kids, right? 39 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,799 Speaker 3: I just I don't know if there's if that's a 40 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,919 Speaker 3: shift that's happening where the way you talk to your 41 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:18,519 Speaker 3: parents is changing. But the way that the mom didn't react, 42 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 3: I'm sitting there going. 43 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,120 Speaker 2: What I wouldn't take it in any tone, but was 44 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 2: the tone kind of like the valley go oh, shut up? No, 45 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 2: they were they were having a serious call. Wow, shut 46 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:29,840 Speaker 2: your pie hole? Yeah? 47 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:34,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, so that certainly would not have washed in my house. 48 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:35,920 Speaker 4: I think one of one of the kids may have 49 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 4: tried it at one point and it went very poorly. 50 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,359 Speaker 4: But how long is a generation? 51 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 2: They usually say twenty years. 52 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think okay, well all right then, well at 53 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 4: least my oldest kid in your youngest kid. I raised 54 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 4: my kids during the previous generation, which is kind of funny. 55 00:02:57,320 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 2: Shut up still is not fly with anybody I know. 56 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:00,359 Speaker 2: I don't think. 57 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,360 Speaker 4: If it does, you need to take a paring in class. 58 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:10,240 Speaker 2: Okay, Like Kevin Hart's got a bit where he's talking 59 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:13,680 Speaker 2: about how it turns out he was mistaken but he 60 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,000 Speaker 2: thought his kid he was yelling down to his kid 61 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 2: to do something, and he thought his kid yelled fu 62 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 2: said the words to him, and he just like gets what. 63 00:03:22,639 --> 00:03:25,800 Speaker 2: He's like, what what? What just happened here? And the 64 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 2: crowd just goes berserk about the idea of a kid 65 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,160 Speaker 2: saying that to their parent, which I was happy to hear, 66 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 2: but that was just like roundly seen as oh my god, 67 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 2: a nuclear bomb just went off. That is not okay, 68 00:03:38,080 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 2: how is he going to react to this? It turns 69 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,520 Speaker 2: out he mishurt his kid over something like that. But yeah, no, 70 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 2: shut up is not okay, any but any world I 71 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 2: know of. 72 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 3: Okay, that brings me some comfort because the kid, the 73 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 3: girl was similar to your kid's age and I was. 74 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,640 Speaker 2: But the fact that the mom, I mean, she just 75 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 2: took it, oh boy, that I feel bad for both 76 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 2: of them because uh almost guaranteed that's a bad situation 77 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 2: either happening or going to happen. Yeah. 78 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 4: I remember back when I was raising my kids and 79 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 4: would talk about it on the air, and people would 80 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:16,200 Speaker 4: call in or you know, write in with questions and 81 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:20,040 Speaker 4: that sort of thing. What I thought, and a number 82 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 4: of times I thought, my first piece of advice is 83 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 4: get a time machine, because you're asking me how do 84 00:04:29,040 --> 00:04:33,640 Speaker 4: I undo fourteen years of getting it wrong? 85 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,480 Speaker 2: And yeah, you know. 86 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,480 Speaker 4: It's like after your fifth heart attack saying to your doctor, 87 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:43,920 Speaker 4: you know, well, it's you know what I'm saying. Oh. 88 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 4: I came across a great thing on parenting that I 89 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,480 Speaker 4: was going to edit for the show because it's long, 90 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,280 Speaker 4: but I wish, wish, wish I'd read it when my 91 00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:56,600 Speaker 4: kids were young. Jonah Goldberg actually wrote it. He's quoting 92 00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:02,599 Speaker 4: a bunch of other people, but he's talking about how 93 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 4: there's a new book by a developmental psychologist who had 94 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 4: never heard of before, Alison Kropnik. But the name of 95 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 4: the book is The Gardener and the Carpenter, and she 96 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:16,799 Speaker 4: points out that the very word parenting really only emerged 97 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:20,280 Speaker 4: in the fifties and didn't become popular until the seventies 98 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 4: because until the fifties, people generally lived in their hometown 99 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 4: near all their relatives, and they would just observe and 100 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,080 Speaker 4: everybody's there to help, and you didn't have to learn 101 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:33,920 Speaker 4: about parenting. 102 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:34,960 Speaker 2: It was self evident. 103 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 4: You saw it all the time, and your mentors were 104 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 4: around you anyway. But then in the seventies, people got 105 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,159 Speaker 4: more isolated, more mobile, they moved away and that sort 106 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,520 Speaker 4: of thing, and you had these parenting experts pop up. 107 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:55,880 Speaker 2: And often with no kids or bad kids. Right, that's right, Yeah, yeah, 108 00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:58,120 Speaker 2: there's plenty of that too. But ms. 109 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,320 Speaker 4: Gropnik point says that parents began to think like carpenters, 110 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,960 Speaker 4: who have a clear idea in mind of what they're 111 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 4: trying to achieve. They look carefully at the materials they 112 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 4: have to work with, and it's their job to assemble 113 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,520 Speaker 4: those materials into a finished project, the project or product 114 00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:13,000 Speaker 4: that can be judged by everyone against clear standards. Are 115 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:16,280 Speaker 4: the right angles? Perfect does the door work? Kropnik notes 116 00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:19,880 Speaker 4: that the messiness and veriability are a carpenter's enemies. Precision 117 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:24,800 Speaker 4: and control are her allies. Measure twice, cut once, et cetera, 118 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:29,040 Speaker 4: and her thing. And I've got to admit I don't 119 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,040 Speaker 4: want to get too deep into this because it's incredibly 120 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 4: serious and will make me very sad. But I was 121 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 4: influenced by a calmnist to is a so called parenting expert, 122 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:41,200 Speaker 4: and he was very much of the carpenter's school. And 123 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,360 Speaker 4: when I ran into a kid with special needs, specifically 124 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,480 Speaker 4: on the autism spectrum, that was the last thing I needed. 125 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 4: The last thing I needed was a carpenter's point of 126 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:51,679 Speaker 4: view about parenting. 127 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:52,920 Speaker 2: And MS. 128 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 4: Kropnick's thing here and I haven't read the book is 129 00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,480 Speaker 4: a better way to think about child wearing is as 130 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:03,039 Speaker 4: a guard. Your job is to create a protected and 131 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 4: nurturing space for plants to flourish. It takes work, but 132 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:09,520 Speaker 4: you don't have to be a perfectionist. Weed the garden, 133 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 4: water it. Step back and the plants will do their 134 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 4: things unpredictably and often with delightful surprises. And it's not 135 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 4: like a hippie dippy, anything goes she's talking about weeding 136 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 4: the garden and doing what needs to be done. 137 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 2: But you're not a carpenter or a gardener. 138 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:28,800 Speaker 5: What exactly is the carpenter's way. I don't know what 139 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,640 Speaker 5: you're talking about as far as the carpenter's view. 140 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,520 Speaker 2: Would it be fair to say, it's just like, there's 141 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 2: one way to do it, one size fits all to 142 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 2: get this to come out right? 143 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,320 Speaker 4: Essentially, Yeah, it's cut and dried. There are a list 144 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 4: of rules, you follow them, it'll be fine. As opposed 145 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:48,280 Speaker 4: to a garden, where it's much more about nurturing than 146 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 4: forcing that it's absolutely inevitably going to go sideways at times. 147 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 4: If you're a good carpenter, it doesn't go sideways. You 148 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 4: can make cabinet after cabinet after cabinet, and if a 149 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 4: mistake is or if something goes wrong, that's utterly unacceptable. 150 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,239 Speaker 4: Whereas as a gardener, something's always going to go wrong. 151 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:13,000 Speaker 4: That's what the job is and you have to adapt. 152 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 2: Yeah. The only thing I could say to your situation 153 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 2: you overhard, Katie, because I've kind of lived this myself, 154 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 2: is I've got one kid that's got all kinds of 155 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 2: diagnosed things and kinds of medication and all kinds of things. 156 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 2: He has said and done things that if his brother 157 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:28,240 Speaker 2: did them, it would be the end of the world. 158 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 2: But the kid that's got all these various situations, he's 159 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 2: not always in control of everything he does. And also, 160 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,160 Speaker 2: if you react a certain way you're about I mean, 161 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 2: she might have a kid that if she had said 162 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 2: anything to that kid at that moment about that, the 163 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 2: table's getting flipped over. I mean, the police are coming 164 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 2: that sort of thing. Possibly, I don't. 165 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,040 Speaker 3: Even think of that possible circumstance that there could you 166 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:56,040 Speaker 3: know that all could have had that problem. 167 00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 4: Final bit of wisdom learned too late, at least harshly, 168 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:05,280 Speaker 4: is when I first became a youth sports coach, I 169 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,200 Speaker 4: think I went I can't remember where this came from, 170 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:10,960 Speaker 4: but it was pointed out to me that you don't 171 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:14,679 Speaker 4: coach all of your players the same You coach all 172 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,680 Speaker 4: of your players the way they need to be coached. 173 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 4: Some kids respond well to like the old school disciplined 174 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:25,679 Speaker 4: to bark at them some because some kids shut down 175 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:27,679 Speaker 4: and you're not going to make them a better player 176 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:29,560 Speaker 4: a better person doing that. You got to figure out 177 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,320 Speaker 4: how to pick their locks. And parenting's a lot like 178 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:37,240 Speaker 4: that too. If you think it's as mathematical and and 179 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,439 Speaker 4: cut and dried as carpentry, you're going to do it wrong. 180 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,200 Speaker 2: So how did how did the things turn out with 181 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,320 Speaker 2: the woman and the kid who said shut up? Did 182 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,560 Speaker 2: they just eventually did they stop talking or did they 183 00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:50,480 Speaker 2: eventually get up and leave? 184 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:54,680 Speaker 3: They went back and forth for like maybe another thirty seconds, 185 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:58,040 Speaker 3: and then their food came and I checked out of 186 00:09:58,040 --> 00:09:59,320 Speaker 3: that conversation pretty much. 187 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 2: But yeah, it shocked me. 188 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,600 Speaker 3: But I like that gardening analogy because that makes more 189 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,280 Speaker 3: sense that you're going to have more room to kind 190 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:09,200 Speaker 3: of wiggle when things go awry. 191 00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know about that mom 192 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:14,439 Speaker 2: dealing with her kid, but like, I only think about 193 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:18,200 Speaker 2: my parenting roughly eighty percent of the time all day long. 194 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, yeah. 195 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,679 Speaker 4: Now that's not to say there are no rules in gardening. 196 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:26,040 Speaker 4: For instance, if you feed gatorade to plants, they will die, 197 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 4: as outlined hilariously in the classic movie slash documentary Idiocracy. 198 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 4: All right, of course, that it wasn't gatorade. It was 199 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,559 Speaker 4: called what brono brondo or electrolytes. 200 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 2: It's got electrolytes. 201 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:45,640 Speaker 1: Jack Armstrong and Joe the Armstrong and Getty Show. 202 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:52,080 Speaker 2: Hey we're Armstrong and Getty. We're featuring our podcast one 203 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:52,559 Speaker 2: more thing. 204 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:53,000 Speaker 6: Find it. 205 00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 2: We're atver you find all your podcasts. 206 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:01,080 Speaker 4: I came across this parable and I'm not exactly sure 207 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:02,680 Speaker 4: what to think about it. I think I know what 208 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 4: to think, but I thought it was entertaining. The donkey 209 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:12,200 Speaker 4: told the tiger, the grass is blue. The tiger replied, no, 210 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:16,280 Speaker 4: the grass is green. The discussion became heated, and the 211 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:19,320 Speaker 4: two decided to submit the issue to arbitration. So they 212 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:23,040 Speaker 4: approached the lion, who apparently is in charge, of course, 213 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:26,440 Speaker 4: king of the jungle, King of the beasts. Sure, donkey, 214 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:31,679 Speaker 4: donkeys and lions coabitating, all right, and getting in arguments 215 00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:34,839 Speaker 4: with tigers anyway. As they approached the lion on his throne, 216 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:36,520 Speaker 4: the donkey started screaming. 217 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,040 Speaker 2: Yours your itis. Isn't it true the grass is blue? 218 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,960 Speaker 4: The lion replied, if you believe it is true, the 219 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:46,560 Speaker 4: grass is blue. The donkey rushed forward and continued, the 220 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 4: tiger disagrees with me. He contradicts me and annoys me. 221 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:53,000 Speaker 4: They should have thrown it. It's a microaggression. Please please 222 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 4: punish him. He's triggering me exactly. Yeah, I got to 223 00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:01,000 Speaker 4: rewrite this to make it even more sickening. Let's see. 224 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 4: The king then declines speech. The tiger will be punished 225 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 4: with three days of silence. 226 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:12,120 Speaker 2: Got to keep his giant, beitoothed mouth shut. That's the punish. 227 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,440 Speaker 4: The donkey jump with joy and went on his way, 228 00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:18,319 Speaker 4: content and repeating, the grass is blue, the grass is blue. 229 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:22,800 Speaker 4: The tiger asks the lion, your majesty, why have you 230 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:26,360 Speaker 4: punished me? After all the grass is green. The lion replied, 231 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 4: you've known and seen that the grass is green. The 232 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:33,360 Speaker 4: tiger asked, so, why do you punish me. The lion replied, 233 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 4: that has nothing to do with the question of whether 234 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,600 Speaker 4: the grass is blue or green. The punishment is because 235 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 4: it is degrading for a brave, intelligent creature like you 236 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 4: to waste time arguing with an ass and on top 237 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 4: of that, you came and bothered me with that question 238 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:51,960 Speaker 4: just to validate something you already knew was true. The 239 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,560 Speaker 4: biggest waste of time is arguing with the fool and 240 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:57,400 Speaker 4: fanatic who doesn't care about the truth or reality, but 241 00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:00,600 Speaker 4: only the victory of his beliefs and illusions. Never waste 242 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 4: time on discussions that make no sense. There are people who, 243 00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:06,320 Speaker 4: for all the evidence presented to them, do not have 244 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 4: the ability to understand others who are blinded by ego, hatred, 245 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 4: and resentment, and the only thing that they want is 246 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 4: to be right, even if they aren't. 247 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,000 Speaker 2: So arguing with the. 248 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:22,319 Speaker 4: Actual donkey, the donctivist, if you will, I can. 249 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:27,439 Speaker 2: See what I won't, I can say I like it. 250 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,480 Speaker 4: A great example of this is when you have the 251 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 4: two activist groups screaming at each other in the street 252 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,360 Speaker 4: over the barricades, and the poor cops are rolling their 253 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,320 Speaker 4: eyes thinking, oh my god, I hope I go home 254 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:39,119 Speaker 4: without getting. 255 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 2: Hit over the head with something that's stupid. 256 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,920 Speaker 4: But if the donkeys of the world have taken over 257 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:54,000 Speaker 4: your public school, don't you have to As the lion 258 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,040 Speaker 4: point out that they're teaching the lion cubs perverse thing. 259 00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:59,439 Speaker 2: Does it ever do any good? I'm not sure it 260 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:03,520 Speaker 2: ever does any good? Like you, of course it does. Well, 261 00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:05,520 Speaker 2: you have to uh, well, you're not going to convince them. 262 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,720 Speaker 2: You just have more people, I guess. I guess the 263 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 2: thing would be if you got other people like witnessing this, 264 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,560 Speaker 2: and you've got to convince them, but convincing the one 265 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,679 Speaker 2: the one person they're not going to change their mind. Well, right, 266 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 2: And that's what. 267 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:19,720 Speaker 4: Bothers me a little bit about this parable, and it's 268 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:23,400 Speaker 4: thought provoking anyway. Is if you go if you as 269 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:30,000 Speaker 4: the tiger, for instance, saying confused adolescent girls should not 270 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 4: be told they're actually little boys because puberty scary, especially 271 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 4: for girls. 272 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:35,920 Speaker 2: If you are the tiger. 273 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:39,560 Speaker 4: Advocating that, and you go to the lion of the electorate, 274 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:46,480 Speaker 4: that's what you have to do. I mean, if it's 275 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:49,880 Speaker 4: just a story about animals in the forest at each other, 276 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:53,600 Speaker 4: then it's not a parable. It's just a mildly amusing story. 277 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,640 Speaker 4: But if it's a parable, it obviously has. 278 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:56,800 Speaker 2: Something to do with as a humankind. 279 00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,560 Speaker 4: And if you've got the donkey pitching that the grass 280 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,360 Speaker 4: is blow oh and it's like infected the public schools 281 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,800 Speaker 4: and your kids come home with a dad, you're wrong, 282 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:07,080 Speaker 4: the grass is blue. And my teacher says, you're a 283 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 4: hater and a racist for saying that you gotta go 284 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:11,640 Speaker 4: to the lion, don't you. 285 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I suppose, But I think the parable works 286 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 2: for just individuals which I was picturing. I wasn't picturing 287 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 2: the public square is just if I recognize the guy 288 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,840 Speaker 2: at the end of the bar is like the donkey 289 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,240 Speaker 2: about some topic, I'm not going to engage them. What's 290 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:27,040 Speaker 2: the freaking point? 291 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,680 Speaker 4: Oh I agree with that one hundred percent Katie's thoughts 292 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,040 Speaker 4: on the donkeys. 293 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:36,920 Speaker 2: There's no place in time or space where donkeys and 294 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 2: lions have been in the same orbit, is there unless 295 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 2: the lion's already full, let alone talking donkeys and talking lions. Yeah, 296 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,560 Speaker 2: that's what I was stuck on. Yeah, a donkey lion 297 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:52,720 Speaker 2: having a conversation. This is baffling, exactly. It's a parable. 298 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 2: You know, I'm skull, come on over my head. Yeah, 299 00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 2: you're right. It's an individual thing and fair enough and 300 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,360 Speaker 2: very very true. Do not Well, I know some people 301 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:07,960 Speaker 2: feel it seems like they enjoy it. There's no point 302 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:13,080 Speaker 2: in arguing with some people about some topics. Oh yeah, yeah. 303 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 4: Well, and the fact that a lot of people just 304 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,600 Speaker 4: want to be quote unquote they want to win the argument. 305 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,640 Speaker 2: They don't care if they're right. It works both ways too. 306 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,800 Speaker 2: I mean, sometimes I've been I don't think I've ever 307 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 2: said this, but I've been in conversation before where I 308 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,680 Speaker 2: could say, look, I've thought and read about this a lot. 309 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,680 Speaker 2: Nothing's gonna change my mind. I mean, you can say 310 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,040 Speaker 2: it louder and slower if you like your opinion, but 311 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:34,640 Speaker 2: it's not going to change my mind. 312 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 4: So or you can hint that I'm an idiot for 313 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:40,160 Speaker 4: not agreeing with you, but you're really wasting your time 314 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 4: and mine, you donkey. Interestingly enough, Kentucky bluegrass is not 315 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:46,920 Speaker 4: blue either. 316 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,480 Speaker 2: It's slightly bluer. I was disappointed in that by a 317 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,040 Speaker 2: kid as a kid, not by a kid as a kid. 318 00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:54,040 Speaker 2: When I heard about bluegrass, I thought, this is gonna 319 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:57,120 Speaker 2: be awesome. My dad got bluegrass for the yard, didn't 320 00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:59,600 Speaker 2: InformATE it. All the other kids are going to be 321 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:03,560 Speaker 2: so chell us. Yeah, grass is blue, is merged Simpson's hair. 322 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:07,040 Speaker 2: This is gonna be great. You guys just ruined my dad. 323 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,800 Speaker 2: I didn't know this. You didn't, all right? 324 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,240 Speaker 4: No, never been to Kentucky then, huh. 325 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,320 Speaker 3: No, I have not, and I have all these dreams. 326 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,200 Speaker 3: I just pictured blue lawns everywhere. 327 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 2: I pictured that too. Yeah, I pictured that, and I 328 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:21,600 Speaker 2: just had it in my mind. It looks so fantastic, 329 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 2: turned on not to be true. 330 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:30,160 Speaker 4: Bluebirds are blue, berries are blue. There's grasses green w. 331 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:34,560 Speaker 1: T F The Armstrong and Getty Show or your show, 332 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,160 Speaker 1: podcasts and our hot links. 333 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,440 Speaker 4: This is the Armstrong and Getty Show featuring our podcast 334 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:45,880 Speaker 4: one more thing, get it wherever you like to get podcasts. 335 00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:51,159 Speaker 2: So we're about to play a cliff of John Cougar 336 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:55,480 Speaker 2: mellencamp uh talking at a concert. Is this one of 337 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:58,800 Speaker 2: the concerts that he's doing with Willie Nelson and Bob Dylan? 338 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 2: Or is he on his own here on his own hair? 339 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,439 Speaker 2: So he's touring with I know he's going to be 340 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,280 Speaker 2: I think at the Hollywood Bowl in LA which i'd 341 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:12,280 Speaker 2: like to see melonhead Willie Nelson and the ancient Bob Dylan. 342 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,159 Speaker 2: Of course, Bob Dylan's not ancient compared to Willie Nelson, 343 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:18,960 Speaker 2: who just turned ninety. All right, it's got to be 344 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,720 Speaker 2: something when he sings. I was just reading a set 345 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:24,200 Speaker 2: list on these concerts, and Willie sings among these classics. Funny, 346 00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:27,159 Speaker 2: how time slips away? Did it slip away? You've been 347 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:29,840 Speaker 2: on ninety years. I don't think it slipped away. Something 348 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,000 Speaker 2: happened to you when you were thirty, Eh, it was 349 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:37,879 Speaker 2: sixty years ago. It didn't just slip away. But I 350 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,399 Speaker 2: thought the set list would be interesting. It's not really. 351 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:44,960 Speaker 2: It's pretty much the songs you expect, melonhead sings, pink houses, 352 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:49,320 Speaker 2: and you know that sort of stuff. I wonder why 353 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 2: he's touring. 354 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,320 Speaker 4: A couple of years ago, he said he had no 355 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:56,240 Speaker 4: interest in being a jukebox. If people didn't particularly want 356 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:58,960 Speaker 4: to hear new music or new versions of old songs. 357 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,920 Speaker 2: That's fine. He had no interest in being a jukebox. 358 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,040 Speaker 2: He did get a tooth knocked out by his kid, 359 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,239 Speaker 2: like a year or so ago. Did that cause him 360 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,160 Speaker 2: any financial difficulties? He and his son got in a fistfight. 361 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:10,919 Speaker 4: I don't imagine he can afford basic dentistry. 362 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:12,560 Speaker 2: But I don't know. 363 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 4: I have no idea of his financial wherewithal. Why is 364 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:20,800 Speaker 4: WILLI doing it? That's just what he does. I don't 365 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,840 Speaker 4: think he can imagine any other life, right, And like 366 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,960 Speaker 4: Keith Richards the Rolling Stones, why in the world would 367 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:30,240 Speaker 4: they play more shows, much less launch a giant tour? 368 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:32,680 Speaker 5: Well, I think Willie, that's what they do. Willie's paying 369 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:34,720 Speaker 5: off his tax debts, right, I. 370 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:36,479 Speaker 2: Don't know if he still has that. But that story 371 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,440 Speaker 2: was thirty years ago, Michael. But he also he travels 372 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,320 Speaker 2: with his sons I've watched some of the videos from 373 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:44,159 Speaker 2: the bus and his kids are like sixty so, but 374 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,040 Speaker 2: he travels with the sons who are in the band too, 375 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:47,879 Speaker 2: so it's probably probably a pretty good time. I mean, 376 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,360 Speaker 2: what would be better than that? Really? Actually, I can't 377 00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:51,960 Speaker 2: think of anything that would be better than that. So, 378 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 2: and then Bob Dylan. I don't know what Bob Dylan's doing. 379 00:19:56,160 --> 00:20:00,960 Speaker 2: He is a same man. He doesn't the money or 380 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:05,440 Speaker 2: the acclaim or the maybe he likes hotels, I don't know. 381 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,840 Speaker 2: But John Cougar is on stage for a while, and 382 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,320 Speaker 2: do we need to know anything else about that? Just no, 383 00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:15,040 Speaker 2: he starts, he's just talking to the crowd. Okay, here 384 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,800 Speaker 2: we go, and she went. 385 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:20,399 Speaker 4: It's just like he ready to be a smart like 386 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,440 Speaker 4: from when I'm talking to Jesus. 387 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:31,840 Speaker 2: And then he got real quiet. What do you think? 388 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:40,199 Speaker 4: I mean, Hey, Joe, find this guy and then they 389 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:41,320 Speaker 4: see him after the show. 390 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:53,520 Speaker 2: Anyway, before I was saludely interrupted, guys, I can solve 391 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:55,320 Speaker 2: this show right now. I'm just doing. 392 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,160 Speaker 3: Since you've been so wonderful, I'm going to cut about 393 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 3: ten songs. 394 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:17,480 Speaker 2: Out of the show. So that's a tape of over 395 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:25,880 Speaker 2: did he actually leave? Wow? And he actually left. That's 396 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:29,359 Speaker 2: not cool. Don't let an a hole and the show. 397 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:33,439 Speaker 4: So you heard that the crowd was entirely on your side, 398 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:34,640 Speaker 4: just one guy. 399 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,520 Speaker 2: So it's into a story. Some guy play some music, 400 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 2: which is hurtful if you're telling a story that you 401 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,480 Speaker 2: think is either funny or important or something like that. Right, 402 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:46,879 Speaker 2: and but yeah, I think the rest of the crowd 403 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,680 Speaker 2: was at least willing to listen to your story, if 404 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,960 Speaker 2: not enthusiastic about it. Yeah, that was weir. 405 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:54,680 Speaker 4: No, it sounded like they were with him. They laughed 406 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,760 Speaker 4: at the joke and everything. It was just fine. 407 00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,359 Speaker 3: And some of them even went ah, hey at the 408 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:00,440 Speaker 3: guy who interrupt them. 409 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:03,399 Speaker 2: So a lot of people did. Yeah. So then he 410 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:10,359 Speaker 2: plays like six bars of Jack and Dian leaves. Wow. Yeah, 411 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:13,359 Speaker 2: he's old and bitter. I ain't have time for that. 412 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:18,200 Speaker 2: I have thought about this a lot. I so on 413 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:22,520 Speaker 2: Charlie Rose, which I miss a lot. The TV show 414 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:27,040 Speaker 2: he had in the same week. I think John Mellencamp 415 00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:29,439 Speaker 2: and John Prine. If you don't know Joan Prine, he 416 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:34,240 Speaker 2: was a very old singer songwriter who never had commercial 417 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:38,440 Speaker 2: success like John Mellencamp, but was hugely adored by people 418 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:42,439 Speaker 2: who like music. Anyway, He died COVID but had him 419 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,399 Speaker 2: on both that week, so they're both super old and 420 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:47,320 Speaker 2: at the end of their careers. And it struck me 421 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:51,040 Speaker 2: how John Prine had what I hope I can have 422 00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:52,400 Speaker 2: when I'm old, but I don't think I can because 423 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,199 Speaker 2: I don't even have it now. He just had. He 424 00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:58,040 Speaker 2: just had like a rye. This is kind of funny, 425 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:01,560 Speaker 2: isn't it, view of getting older? I mean, this is 426 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,159 Speaker 2: almost amusing what this is like, the health problems and 427 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,720 Speaker 2: the this and the that, and the kids and the 428 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:08,760 Speaker 2: marriage and just the way these songs were like that too. 429 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:14,040 Speaker 2: But John Mellencamp was clearly a bitter it went by 430 00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:19,119 Speaker 2: too fast, sad, and I relate to those feelings, but 431 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,119 Speaker 2: just you know, I wish I wish I were still thirty, 432 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,840 Speaker 2: you know, that sort of thing, And I thought those 433 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:28,280 Speaker 2: are there's two really good examples, has nothing to do 434 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:32,639 Speaker 2: with being famous. Of how you approach getting older. You 435 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,639 Speaker 2: either just accept it and kind of enjoy it and 436 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:40,400 Speaker 2: marvel at its everything that's it's evolved, or be really 437 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,560 Speaker 2: bitter that you're not thirty and cool anymore, like Mellencamp was. 438 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,680 Speaker 2: And I just thought that was interesting, and I can 439 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:50,400 Speaker 2: say heard a little of it there. Yeah, I think. Well, 440 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:51,680 Speaker 2: let me start with this. 441 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:56,280 Speaker 4: Was playing golf the other day and we saw some 442 00:23:56,440 --> 00:24:00,400 Speaker 4: distance away a mutual friend talked about him a little bit. 443 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,239 Speaker 4: One of the most cheerful guys you've ever met. This 444 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,240 Speaker 4: guy wakes up in the morning, cheerful, he goes to 445 00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:08,200 Speaker 4: bed cheerful. He's just made like that, and it's it's 446 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:12,960 Speaker 4: an amazing blessing. And I commented to my buddy, who 447 00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,359 Speaker 4: also has a more than one kid, I said, anybody 448 00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,520 Speaker 4: who's raised multiple kids knows you come out of the 449 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,600 Speaker 4: womb like that, or you don't. I've always said that, 450 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 4: And this number is pulled out of my imagination that 451 00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,160 Speaker 4: you got maybe about fifteen twenty percent around the edges. 452 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,760 Speaker 4: You can push yourself in this way or push yourself 453 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,480 Speaker 4: in that way, but you are who you are. 454 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,119 Speaker 2: And I just I don't know. 455 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:39,080 Speaker 4: Could John Mellencamp have ever been John Prine in his 456 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:39,680 Speaker 4: old age? 457 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:45,480 Speaker 2: Maybe? I don't know. I don't know either. You're I 458 00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:46,600 Speaker 2: think you're right about that. 459 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,439 Speaker 4: And at fifteen and twenty percent, you could either go 460 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:53,880 Speaker 4: fifteen percent more bitter and awful or fifteen percent more 461 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:57,080 Speaker 4: cheerful and optimistic, and that that makes a big difference 462 00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,800 Speaker 4: in your life. I'm not saying it's insignificant. I'm just 463 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:04,840 Speaker 4: and my buddy's name is Dan. I was born annoyed. 464 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,800 Speaker 4: I'm never going to be Dan, right, and I love 465 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:12,240 Speaker 4: the guy and we're good friends. Actually, I think my 466 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:16,280 Speaker 4: acerbic eye rolling view of the world is amusing to him, 467 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,800 Speaker 4: and blah blah whatever it works. The one thing I know, 468 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,600 Speaker 4: and I try, I've tried to be honest about this 469 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,560 Speaker 4: with myself. All of us want, all of us attribute 470 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:30,600 Speaker 4: our good qualities to choice and our bad qualities to genetics. 471 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I got a strength of character. 472 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:37,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, all the good things about me are because I 473 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:38,840 Speaker 4: chose to be that way, and I. 474 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:42,600 Speaker 2: Worked hard to be that right, right. I gotta admit 475 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,840 Speaker 2: when I when I was taking in the two different 476 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,920 Speaker 2: attitudes about growing old and your and your your best 477 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:52,520 Speaker 2: days being behind you, I related to the emotions of 478 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 2: John Mellencamp a lot more than John Brown. I'd like 479 00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:58,040 Speaker 2: to be like John Bryan, but I feel in my head, 480 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:01,359 Speaker 2: in my heart more like John Mellencamp, for whatever reason, 481 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,120 Speaker 2: because I think I'm born that way. 482 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:03,399 Speaker 6: I was. 483 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:05,240 Speaker 2: This is where I am. 484 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:09,199 Speaker 4: Yeah, and then there's the question of epigenetics, which is 485 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 4: one of my favorite things I've ever learned. You have 486 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:13,720 Speaker 4: your genetics, but then you've got a bunch of things 487 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:14,480 Speaker 4: in your genes. 488 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 2: Try to end up with a half cat, half dog 489 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:17,960 Speaker 2: sort of situation. Is that what that is? Yeah, that's 490 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,119 Speaker 2: that's right, exactly. 491 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:24,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, No, it's there are like triggers that you 492 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:28,600 Speaker 4: have genetically, and if certain things happen to you or 493 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:32,040 Speaker 4: you run into them, that those switches might be flipped. 494 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:35,640 Speaker 4: But if you don't go through those things, they won't 495 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:40,679 Speaker 4: be If your environment is you have good nutrition or whatever, 496 00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:45,960 Speaker 4: it'll never manifest itself itself. It's not like the entirety 497 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:48,960 Speaker 4: of who you are is determined by your genetics. Your 498 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:53,879 Speaker 4: experience and your life plays a role too in various ways. 499 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,680 Speaker 4: But you know, we're in the early days of really 500 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:57,840 Speaker 4: understanding that stuff. 501 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,240 Speaker 2: I just remember. So they both sang songs that week, 502 00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,520 Speaker 2: and John Prine's song at that time. This is the 503 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,280 Speaker 2: last album before he died. I think it was When 504 00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:06,920 Speaker 2: I Get to Heaven, And there's a line in there 505 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,359 Speaker 2: something about I'm gonna kiss that pretty girl on the 506 00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,679 Speaker 2: tilted Whirl. I'm gonna smoke a cigarette that's nine miles long. 507 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,040 Speaker 2: It's it's like looking back on the best parts of 508 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,760 Speaker 2: your life and wanting to relive them, or getting to 509 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:20,600 Speaker 2: smoke cigarette again. And John Couer had a line in 510 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,480 Speaker 2: his song and all your best efforts don't amount to 511 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:26,480 Speaker 2: anything anymore, And I thought, wow, that's just such two 512 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,960 Speaker 2: different views of where you are at the end of 513 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:32,440 Speaker 2: your career. And one of you is happy and one 514 00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,480 Speaker 2: of you is miserable. But like you said, maybe you 515 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:35,600 Speaker 2: can't control that. I don't know. 516 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:42,400 Speaker 4: I don't know. That's interesting acceptance is that how much 517 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:45,920 Speaker 4: of that is inborn your capacity to just accept your 518 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:47,000 Speaker 4: life and it's reality. 519 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,000 Speaker 2: I'm gonna be a really bitter old person. I think 520 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:53,800 Speaker 2: I'm pretty bitter young. Yeah, well I can see that. 521 00:27:57,119 --> 00:28:02,240 Speaker 2: I will be quite self deprecating, but a bitter Oprah. 522 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,320 Speaker 1: The Armstrong and Getty Show, Yeah, or Jack your show, 523 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,920 Speaker 1: podcasts and our hot links. 524 00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,840 Speaker 2: Hey we're Armstrong and Getty. We're featuring our podcast one 525 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,879 Speaker 2: more thing. Find it wherever you find all your podcasts. 526 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:21,240 Speaker 4: Fathers get a day, but we get a month of 527 00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:22,560 Speaker 4: alphabet soup. 528 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:27,400 Speaker 2: I like to the alternate people, what I don't think 529 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,440 Speaker 2: that's the society is this. I think that's the point 530 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:31,200 Speaker 2: of Pride Month. 531 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,119 Speaker 4: And that's so it's all due respect to my my 532 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:39,880 Speaker 4: gay friends who are uniformly with the meme I saw 533 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:40,680 Speaker 4: the other day. 534 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:45,840 Speaker 2: LGB is all we need. The rest is not us well, 535 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:47,680 Speaker 2: and it's not just a month, as you know, there 536 00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 2: are a whole bunch of other weeks and days around 537 00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 2: the same theme throughout the years, so it's not just 538 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,720 Speaker 2: a month a year. 539 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, but fathers get a day. And the reason that 540 00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:02,040 Speaker 4: into my mind as we have some kind of Father's 541 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,800 Speaker 4: Day related stuff and you know, maybe it would have 542 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:08,080 Speaker 4: been better then because fathers only get one day. Then 543 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,440 Speaker 4: you ought to shut up about the importance of fathers. 544 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:12,960 Speaker 2: Hey, you weren't here on Friday when Katie and I 545 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,680 Speaker 2: and Michael had the discussion that we've had for many 546 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,760 Speaker 2: years of looking for a Father's Day card and trying 547 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,160 Speaker 2: to find one that's not a joke about flatulence or 548 00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:24,760 Speaker 2: drinking beer or watching TV. Mother's Day cards are all 549 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,600 Speaker 2: you know, There are some joke Mother's Day cards, but 550 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:34,160 Speaker 2: there's tons of how important and valued and crucial mothers are. 551 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:38,720 Speaker 2: Dad's Day cards are all jokes about. Yeah, what I 552 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,240 Speaker 2: just said yeah, yeah, very true. 553 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,440 Speaker 4: So anyway, why would be we be in the least 554 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:49,560 Speaker 4: hesitant to continue Father's Day thoughts or respect or that 555 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:53,880 Speaker 4: sort of thing. Let's begin with Clip Tenant's Tristan cass Casas. 556 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,280 Speaker 4: He's a Boston Red Sox player, telling us a story 557 00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:57,880 Speaker 4: about his dad. 558 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:02,280 Speaker 6: So I'm in coach pitch and you know, I'm so young, 559 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,320 Speaker 6: I don't really know what's going on at this point. Still, 560 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,480 Speaker 6: I'm still just playing baseball just to burn calories and 561 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 6: get out there and get some son right right. And 562 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,120 Speaker 6: you know, I get out one day and I come 563 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,400 Speaker 6: back to the dug out crying, pissed, And you know, 564 00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:16,560 Speaker 6: that's that's what a six year old does. He sits 565 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,080 Speaker 6: on the bench and he cries, and he doesn't want 566 00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:19,800 Speaker 6: to go out there when you know. 567 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:21,400 Speaker 2: His team's playing defense. 568 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:24,520 Speaker 6: So my dad, you know, being the dad that he is, 569 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,320 Speaker 6: trying to teach me the lessons that he did in 570 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:29,400 Speaker 6: his own special way, came into the dugout. He actually 571 00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:31,880 Speaker 6: grabbed me by my shirt, dragged me to the line, 572 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,920 Speaker 6: and looney Tune style kicked me out onto the field 573 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:37,800 Speaker 6: and actually had one of my best friends that I 574 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:39,560 Speaker 6: went to high school with. Later he ended up playing 575 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,480 Speaker 6: pro ball. His mom actually called child services. I'm like 576 00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:45,880 Speaker 6: dad at the field, no, no, no, for real, there's 577 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,080 Speaker 6: no joke at the field. I see my dad go 578 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:49,440 Speaker 6: away in the cop car gets arrested. 579 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:50,720 Speaker 2: Send the nice of joke here. 580 00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:53,000 Speaker 6: But that day, that day, my dad taught me a 581 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:56,600 Speaker 6: super valuable lesson that not a lot of people know. 582 00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,240 Speaker 6: And it's that I had a responsibility to my teammates, 583 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,520 Speaker 6: I had a responsibility to my coaches, to the parents 584 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,360 Speaker 6: that showed up that day, all the fans who were 585 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,880 Speaker 6: at that little league game, whatever it may be, to 586 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,000 Speaker 6: go out there and give my best effort, no matter 587 00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:11,160 Speaker 6: how I was feeling on the bench, no matter what 588 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:14,640 Speaker 6: I was going through that day, or whatever little hardship 589 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,560 Speaker 6: that I was feeling when I got out, that I 590 00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,640 Speaker 6: still apply every single time, because sometimes I just want 591 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,160 Speaker 6: to sit down on this bench after I get out 592 00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:21,680 Speaker 6: and I want to weave and I want to cry. 593 00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:25,080 Speaker 6: But that's that's not how baseball is. So yeah, I 594 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:28,200 Speaker 6: love my dad to death. I wouldn't have this opportunity 595 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,280 Speaker 6: without him. But yeah, funny little excerpt that's about that. 596 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:32,960 Speaker 6: That's the type of gay my dad is. 597 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:39,720 Speaker 2: So that's true that I like the Looney Tuth reference. 598 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,240 Speaker 2: It is an amazing story. 599 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:45,719 Speaker 3: That took a turn though she called CPS and they 600 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:47,240 Speaker 3: actually spent the night in jail. 601 00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:53,440 Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow, did not see that coming. Wow. Yeah, Ed 602 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,160 Speaker 2: is a good story. Also, like the fact that he's 603 00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,320 Speaker 2: six and he said the reason he was playing was 604 00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:01,880 Speaker 2: to burn calories get some sun. I ever thought about 605 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:04,320 Speaker 2: that when I was six. I better work off this 606 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:04,920 Speaker 2: pomp tart. 607 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:10,600 Speaker 4: Well, wow, that second shot with Chip Cookie was totally unnecessary. 608 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:16,880 Speaker 4: I'm gonna go play some baseball. Yeah, that's that's funny. 609 00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,120 Speaker 4: It reminds me of a conversation we've had before that 610 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:22,680 Speaker 4: you know, the and it's a cliche and certainly the 611 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:27,160 Speaker 4: roles overlap. But when little Johnny skins his knee, Mom is, 612 00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,400 Speaker 4: oh honey, oh no, and Dad's like, you'll be fine, 613 00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:34,600 Speaker 4: You'll be great, and that whole And I remember my 614 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,880 Speaker 4: dad was my baseball coach a lot too, and he 615 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:38,560 Speaker 4: would come out to the mound when I was pitching, 616 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:41,240 Speaker 4: and I've said this, told this story before too. He'd 617 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:44,240 Speaker 4: say get this guy out or I'm gonna pull you. 618 00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,280 Speaker 4: And it wasn't cruelty. It was a way to focus 619 00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,680 Speaker 4: me and to say you know you have a job 620 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:55,240 Speaker 4: to do. Here is what it is. I'm not out 621 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:57,440 Speaker 4: of here. I'm not out here to tell you everything's 622 00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:02,360 Speaker 4: gonna be okay, because telling you go do it is 623 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 4: telling you everything's going to be okay, telling you, ah, 624 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:10,160 Speaker 4: you're fine, go run and play. It's a empowering message 625 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,280 Speaker 4: to look at me a man to man, even as 626 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:17,360 Speaker 4: like a fifteen year old, and say focus, get. 627 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:17,760 Speaker 2: This guy out. 628 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:18,800 Speaker 1: That's it. 629 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:28,200 Speaker 2: That's a compliment shift we've experienced. Yeah, i'd say, oh yeah, 630 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:29,320 Speaker 2: I can. 631 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,040 Speaker 4: Plus, you know, as I've said before, I was like, you, 632 00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:33,480 Speaker 4: damn right, I'm getting this guy out. 633 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:37,000 Speaker 2: You're not pulling me. And it's just it's that's. 634 00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:41,080 Speaker 4: What coaching is. That's what man to man coaching is. Now, 635 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:42,840 Speaker 4: it can cross the line into being an a hole 636 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:45,200 Speaker 4: if you're a bad coach, but it was a very 637 00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:45,640 Speaker 4: good coach. 638 00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:49,320 Speaker 2: I don't know. Anxiety. It's going to cause anxiety. 639 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,160 Speaker 3: This is reminded me of a story my dad told me. 640 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,280 Speaker 3: He played football in high school and my grandfather, his 641 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:57,160 Speaker 3: dad was a surgeon, and my dad took a cleat 642 00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:00,520 Speaker 3: to the shin during a game and my granddad sewed 643 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:04,640 Speaker 3: him up in the team. Team locker room and then 644 00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:06,600 Speaker 3: said get your ass back out there. 645 00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:09,600 Speaker 2: And this was during the Civil War, Yeah, pretty much, 646 00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:13,880 Speaker 2: I as well been mid sixties. 647 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:19,440 Speaker 4: On the other hand, Katie, do we need any setup 648 00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:20,720 Speaker 4: for clip twelve? 649 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:24,479 Speaker 3: No, this is just where we're headed if this woke 650 00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:25,560 Speaker 3: crap continues. 651 00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:30,279 Speaker 7: Hey, non binary offspring, Hey, non gender specific parent. Just 652 00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:32,319 Speaker 7: wanted to let you know that dinner is ready if 653 00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,600 Speaker 7: you can sent to it. Of course I don't. I 654 00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:37,759 Speaker 7: don't consent. Well, I was thinking maybe in an hour 655 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:39,120 Speaker 7: or so, if you're up to it, me and your 656 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,439 Speaker 7: other non gender specific parent can sit in the living 657 00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:43,479 Speaker 7: room and breathe for a little bit if it doesn't 658 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:44,960 Speaker 7: trigger you. Of course, you know, I'm not sure if 659 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,799 Speaker 7: I'm triggered by that or offended. I quite honestly, I 660 00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,239 Speaker 7: don't know what to feel anymore. Trust me, I don't 661 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:50,600 Speaker 7: know either. 662 00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:50,960 Speaker 2: Honey. 663 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,760 Speaker 7: Oh my god, did you just call me honey? 664 00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:53,479 Speaker 2: Oh my god? 665 00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:56,600 Speaker 7: I am so sorry. That's harassment. Please don't tweet about this. 666 00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,480 Speaker 7: I already did. Well, it looks like my career is over. 667 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:01,799 Speaker 7: Well maybe I think twenty times before you talk, we'll 668 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:03,759 Speaker 7: have to live on the streets. Well, that doesn't matter 669 00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:05,960 Speaker 7: to me, because my feelings are more important than all 670 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,320 Speaker 7: of our physical well beings. Okay, well, I'm gonna go 671 00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,239 Speaker 7: into the living room and cry I love you. 672 00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:11,160 Speaker 2: You don't have to say it back. 673 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:13,799 Speaker 7: I'm not going to wow. 674 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:16,920 Speaker 4: Parent and child in the year twenty sixty. 675 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:21,880 Speaker 2: That's pretty good. I don't know if I'm triggered or offended. 676 00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:25,840 Speaker 2: I don't know what I'm feeling anymore. I can't believe 677 00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:30,600 Speaker 2: that dude's dad spent the night in jail. Yeah, all right, 678 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:35,440 Speaker 2: I gotta ask how hard did he kick him? I 679 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:35,799 Speaker 2: don't know. 680 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:41,080 Speaker 4: The boy looking back is he's full of love and 681 00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:43,919 Speaker 4: he did the right thing and laughing about it, So yeah, 682 00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:44,200 Speaker 4: he does. 683 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,080 Speaker 2: I don't know. That's crazy. 684 00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:54,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, Wow, that's quite a story. 685 00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:55,279 Speaker 1: You know. 686 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:58,560 Speaker 5: They kicked each other pretty hard in those Limy Tunes cartoons. 687 00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,880 Speaker 2: Occasionally it was borderline brutality. Michael, you quit right, The 688 00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:04,319 Speaker 2: Armstrong and Getty Show.