1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:07,640 Speaker 1: Every day a week ago. Breakfast Club Morning Everybody, It's 2 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 1: the j n V. 3 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:09,920 Speaker 2: Just hilarious. 4 00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:12,039 Speaker 1: Charlamagne and the Guy. We are the Breakfast Club. We 5 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: got some special guests and family members with us. The Smartest, 6 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:16,400 Speaker 1: We got a little round. He's back here. 7 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:20,960 Speaker 3: We have a Reagan Gomez tapping the Brown and Anna 8 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 3: Marie Horse for the welcomest no. 9 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:26,960 Speaker 1: Movie Unexpected Christmas. 10 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,320 Speaker 3: Now, this this movie takes a lot of turns. 11 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 4: It takes a. 12 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 1: Lot of turns. 13 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:33,879 Speaker 3: We'll break down the movie because it comes out this 14 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:36,040 Speaker 3: Friday for people that want to go check this movie out. 15 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 3: What are they expected in this Unexpected Christmas movie? 16 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:47,320 Speaker 5: With about giving it a waiter, But this one tells 17 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 5: a lot because it's such a conversation piece and like 18 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:54,880 Speaker 5: I have been playing Richard Is, I kind of got 19 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:55,720 Speaker 5: his back most of the time. 20 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 2: So I'm trying not to say stuff without telling people. 21 00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 2: But it is a beautiful movie. It's really funny. Uh. 22 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 2: It's a lot of drama in it, but the drama 23 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:05,040 Speaker 2: end up making sense and you see people come to 24 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,959 Speaker 2: it's healthy drama. It has love in it, it has 25 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:10,520 Speaker 2: faith in it. It's just and it has food in it. 26 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 2: But it is This is a different twist than you've 27 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 2: seen in other Christmas movies. And that's why I really 28 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 2: love That's why I wanted to do it in the 29 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:18,080 Speaker 2: first place. 30 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:19,919 Speaker 1: That's a little New York, little la. 31 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:21,600 Speaker 2: Function. 32 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 6: Yes, yes, Why does black family movies gotta have so 33 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:31,720 Speaker 6: much drama? 34 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:33,520 Speaker 2: Because black families get so much. 35 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:39,000 Speaker 7: As long as there's resolution, that's the part. Then that 36 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:41,240 Speaker 7: means we're making something good for the black family, that's 37 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 7: the part. 38 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,600 Speaker 8: And you know, people come home for the holidays and 39 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:45,440 Speaker 8: you might not have seen your family all year and 40 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 8: you've been mad at them about something, but now you 41 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 8: see them at the table, it's like, we're gonna talk 42 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 8: about this right now. 43 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 7: That's life, and that's. 44 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 9: About to come up because we've got a few more weeks. 45 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:58,440 Speaker 9: We got Thanksgiving, some conversations. I have my family, you know, 46 00:01:58,640 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 9: so this movie is gonna help me. 47 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 7: It's a healthy, healthy drama. 48 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,800 Speaker 4: Don't bring a lot of company with you if you 49 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,119 Speaker 4: want to tell the truth, because. 50 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,520 Speaker 1: You got a new whole family on the other side. 51 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 9: Yeah, because my husband is half Mexicans, so they all come. 52 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 2: Holidays and you. 53 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 10: Don't know what they are about. 54 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:30,640 Speaker 2: I got one kind of work. 55 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 8: That's why you gotta learn. 56 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 10: You gotta learn now you can put. You have to 57 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 10: tell me, you know what they're. 58 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:44,399 Speaker 7: Saying there you go, and what. 59 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:46,639 Speaker 4: Spanish in your And I will tell you they're gonna 60 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 4: look at the baby to make sure it's his, you know, 61 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,239 Speaker 4: check the toes and the ears and stuff like that. 62 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:56,360 Speaker 10: Love man, not a. 63 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:01,360 Speaker 8: Little bit like a lot of Puerto Ricans. A lot 64 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,760 Speaker 8: of us don't speak Spanish. So yeah, but I am 65 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,160 Speaker 8: my mom's Puerto Rican for sure. 66 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's right, that's right. And my mother said, and 67 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,000 Speaker 4: I said, how come you teach your Spanish? She said, 68 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:20,880 Speaker 4: in case I wanted to say something bad about your father, didn't. 69 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,760 Speaker 4: I didn't even know that about you. 70 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 6: I want to ask you, you've been part of so 71 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,200 Speaker 6: many multiple generations. 72 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:29,840 Speaker 10: Yes, can you believe it? 73 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:30,919 Speaker 2: Yes? I can't. 74 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,639 Speaker 6: How do you stay connected to like every generation of 75 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 6: storytellers and audiences? 76 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 4: I think being your authentic self that they know it's 77 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 4: something true, you know, I mean I don't have to rets, 78 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 4: but I usually tell the truth when everybody else is quiet. 79 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 4: But you know, there were always children who would say 80 00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,440 Speaker 4: something and you would look. 81 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 10: You know. 82 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 4: It was one time my mother took me to this 83 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 4: friend's house. And I said, excuse me, do you know 84 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 4: you walk like a woman? And my mother said her 85 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 4: hand was so close to my face and he said no, no, 86 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 4: but do I He said, show me. I said, you 87 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 4: want me to show you how you walk? 88 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 11: And he was a little special Jesus, just say that 89 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:30,680 Speaker 11: so somebody identifies with being a little off, you know 90 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 11: what I mean? 91 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:33,520 Speaker 4: And my mother would say, she fell on her head 92 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:35,839 Speaker 4: before she was born, so you have to excuse anything 93 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 4: that comes out her mouth. And I said, oh, I 94 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:41,159 Speaker 4: didn't understand what it meant, but it meant she might 95 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:42,960 Speaker 4: say something that's inappropriate. 96 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 10: And I think that's what it connects. 97 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 4: With every generation, you know, I mean, because we don't 98 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 4: know when we do these things what the audience is 99 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 4: going to like. We really don't know which movie. You know, 100 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 4: I had no idea Friday was going to be as 101 00:04:58,800 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 4: big as it was. 102 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:03,080 Speaker 10: You don't know. 103 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 6: Have they called you for the new one? 104 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:08,680 Speaker 10: Listen that new one going for twenty four years? They 105 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:14,840 Speaker 10: film me? Yeah, twenty four years? Okay, yeah, yeah, I. 106 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:15,160 Speaker 2: Want to ask. 107 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 6: I know we're here to talk about Christmas, but whatever 108 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,000 Speaker 6: y'all learned from Miss Hors, let's start with you. 109 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,279 Speaker 10: Yeah, No, I need to know. I know this was 110 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 10: going on. 111 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:26,719 Speaker 7: It was amazing, don't said. The one thing I learned 112 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:30,159 Speaker 7: is I can't wait to get older and say whatever 113 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 7: because people just laugh and they'd be like, she's, oh, 114 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,960 Speaker 7: she's so cute. She don't never lie, you know, she 115 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 7: don't lie. She she ain't got to risk. But okay, 116 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:46,919 Speaker 7: that's what she said. But also, like what she just said, 117 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:52,360 Speaker 7: being your authentic self promotes longevity, right. I met her. 118 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 7: We met like twenty maybe like twenty four years ago, 119 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,640 Speaker 7: and I was living in North Carolina and went to 120 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:04,640 Speaker 7: a theater festival in Atlanta with a mentor and he 121 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,000 Speaker 7: introduced me to her, and she was so kind to me, 122 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 7: and she told me, then you just got to keep, 123 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 7: you know, being consistent, keep pursuing it, and one day 124 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,760 Speaker 7: it'll happen. And so when I saw her on set, 125 00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,919 Speaker 7: I reminded her that I had met her. I was 126 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,359 Speaker 7: completely different then. You know, I had some little locks 127 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:22,159 Speaker 7: in my hair. I was like straight out of you know, 128 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 7: coming from Greensboro hosting, and it was just like it 129 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,120 Speaker 7: was surreal for me to like be on the set 130 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 7: with someone who I consider like a living legend. She said, 131 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:35,039 Speaker 7: And I come for so many of us. But yeah, 132 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 7: I say longevity. It's one of the things that I've 133 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,559 Speaker 7: been blessed to witness with you, you know something. 134 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:44,719 Speaker 2: So we did Vacation Friends together. She played my Mom, 135 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:48,559 Speaker 2: and you know my mother one of her favorite shows 136 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 2: was a man right, and so like working with her 137 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:55,320 Speaker 2: was like, like I didn't realize how funny she was, 138 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:58,839 Speaker 2: and she you don't notice when we shoot Vacation Friends, 139 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,200 Speaker 2: you literally did something like my Mom. It was. It 140 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 2: wasn't in the script. I think I was like my 141 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,600 Speaker 2: characters acting like he was kind of embarrassed. He's like, 142 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:07,120 Speaker 2: so if you embarrassed by men, I just go home. 143 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,880 Speaker 2: Then you know it was but it was almost surreal 144 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 2: to wow. But like she some people just got it, 145 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. And so like just being 146 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,880 Speaker 2: on set with you and just like watching you do 147 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 2: this thing where you don't even have to say words, 148 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:26,960 Speaker 2: you can just make a face. And to me, that's 149 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 2: a skill set too. Like I think, like somebody like 150 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 2: you and David Allen Greer who I look at, that 151 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 2: people just make their reactions is more than a word. 152 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 2: And so that's one of the things I learned from 153 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,160 Speaker 2: just work with you because Also, You're just amazing and 154 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:42,440 Speaker 2: you're so honest. You make I don't know what she's 155 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,720 Speaker 2: gonna say half the time. That's what I love. 156 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 10: Well. 157 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,960 Speaker 8: I met miss Anna when I was fourteen years old 158 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 8: the Parenthood and the Wayne's Brothers started off the WB 159 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,120 Speaker 8: network back in the day. So I've known her for 160 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 8: the majority of my career, thirty years of my career. 161 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 8: And what t happ of the set is so true, 162 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 8: Like miss Anna reminds me of that time when I 163 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 8: was around Robert Townsend and all of these folks who 164 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 8: have been grinding since since the sixties and the seventies, 165 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 8: and the lessons that they give us, like she is 166 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 8: a treasure, a national treasure, and I've never worked with her. 167 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 8: So this has just been amazing you, me and my mama. 168 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 10: That's right, that's right. 169 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 9: Check out of father, because she told me, she was like, Hey, 170 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:38,240 Speaker 9: your daddy. 171 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,640 Speaker 6: What's the biggest lesson you you try to instill and 172 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 6: just people about longevity and grace. 173 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:46,800 Speaker 4: I think you can't be distracted by racism, other people's 174 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:51,920 Speaker 4: definition of you, your truth if you just know that 175 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,200 Speaker 4: you are here for purpose and nobody can take that 176 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,480 Speaker 4: from you. You know what I'm saying when people say 177 00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 4: you didn't get your flowers, I got my flower, you know, 178 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,560 Speaker 4: because I've been working much longer. I ask God for one. 179 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 4: I said, just prove to me that I'm an actress. 180 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:10,719 Speaker 4: Give me one job, because you know, nobody believed it 181 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 4: except your mother at first. 182 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 10: And then you get the one job and you say, oh, 183 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,240 Speaker 10: well that wasn't bad, and then you get another. 184 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:21,560 Speaker 4: And I still every time I get a job, it's 185 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 4: like the first one. Really yeah, because somebody believes in you, 186 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:30,319 Speaker 4: I mean somebody, it's not hard, you know, and you 187 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:33,240 Speaker 4: look at other people. I was telling Jess, I was 188 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 4: following her for years. I'm saying, oh, she's so wonderful 189 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:41,200 Speaker 4: and this, and I really feel it because you know, say, 190 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 4: look at that and something you didn't think of, but 191 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,480 Speaker 4: you know it's the truth. And I think if you 192 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:51,080 Speaker 4: just understand that we're in a world that there's enough 193 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:55,440 Speaker 4: for everybody. Everybody can have five hundred Fani, Well now 194 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,720 Speaker 4: you've got more than five hundred. You can have you know, 195 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 4: millions or whatever. Or just know that even if you 196 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:06,600 Speaker 4: don't believe in a higher force, there are people watching 197 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 4: you in your neighborhood, your parents, your godparents, somebody's watching you, 198 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:14,520 Speaker 4: and just make sure you feel good at the end 199 00:10:14,559 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 4: of the night. You know what I mean when people 200 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 4: about I forget that. You know, we got a story 201 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 4: to tell. There ain't no mistakes. 202 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 1: How do you decide what parts you pick? Because when 203 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,280 Speaker 1: you pick your roles, they are not the same. Amen. 204 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,559 Speaker 1: It's not like Friday, which is not like I was a. 205 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:33,559 Speaker 10: Virtuous woman and somebody tried to sell. 206 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 4: A nasty story and I said, what the editor called 207 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 4: my press agency. 208 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 10: Somebody is trying to say a. 209 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:43,640 Speaker 4: Terrible story about her. I said, that is not true. 210 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 4: So it's you better pick the rolls that people you know, 211 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:50,800 Speaker 4: because people really believe black people now I don't know 212 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 4: about white people. 213 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,240 Speaker 10: Black people believe. 214 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:03,520 Speaker 4: This is no between reality and TV. How's your husband 215 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,760 Speaker 4: and I do stay in touch with Cliff? I said, 216 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 4: he's fine. I got a new husband now in this movie. 217 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,960 Speaker 4: Rico's my new husband. A few other husbands in between. 218 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,920 Speaker 4: I can't remember all of them, but they're all good 219 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 4: to me. They're all good to me. But it's just 220 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 4: that you have a brand, even if you don't know 221 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,680 Speaker 4: you have a brand. And my brand is kind of 222 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:29,800 Speaker 4: decent human being who's honest you know what I mean, 223 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 4: Just to be honest with Even if the line is 224 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,520 Speaker 4: I have gone up for things, I said, this is 225 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:39,480 Speaker 4: not me, not me. No, No, my people won't believe it, 226 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:43,400 Speaker 4: and I don't believe it. Even then I said, no, 227 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 4: there's one, and I just said I can't. 228 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:47,920 Speaker 10: I said the words can't even come out of my mouth. 229 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 2: You know, it was low, low low. 230 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,840 Speaker 4: Somebody else got it, a friend of mine, and I 231 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 4: was happy for her. 232 00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:56,280 Speaker 10: But no, everything's not for you. 233 00:11:56,640 --> 00:12:01,040 Speaker 4: I always believe that what we get, the roles we get, 234 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,559 Speaker 4: it's somebody else that you're supposed to meet there. 235 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:04,560 Speaker 10: It's not just the role. 236 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:08,559 Speaker 4: God gives everybody a talent, and the talent is so 237 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:12,680 Speaker 4: that you can use to get to affect the people 238 00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:15,199 Speaker 4: you're supposed to meet along that road. But if I'm 239 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,320 Speaker 4: supposed to go to Georgia, the other people I'm supposed 240 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,280 Speaker 4: to meet a long way in Georgia, it's not just 241 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:24,679 Speaker 4: the movie, you know, it's somebody else whose life I'm 242 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:25,640 Speaker 4: supposed to be affecting. 243 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,080 Speaker 6: Wow, on this film, who did you meet? 244 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 4: Like? 245 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,600 Speaker 10: Who I met all these colored people? 246 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,880 Speaker 4: Let me just say she had a revelation because girlfriend 247 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,040 Speaker 4: didn't know all of this mess was going on. 248 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:41,760 Speaker 10: She did not know. 249 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 4: And then I can't say because I haven't seen the 250 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:50,440 Speaker 4: completed movie yet, but there was one scene that I 251 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:55,080 Speaker 4: felt really strong, and the producers allowed me to do 252 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 4: some improvisation on it. When the child comes back, you know, 253 00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:01,720 Speaker 4: because children like to grow up and then kind of 254 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 4: read their parents and tell them everything they did wrong. 255 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:07,560 Speaker 4: You're all shaking your head forget that, no parent, want 256 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:08,280 Speaker 4: no report card. 257 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:15,080 Speaker 10: We did the best week, could change the nasty diapers. 258 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,880 Speaker 10: Listen to all that foolishness. And all I'm saying is. 259 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:23,080 Speaker 4: Some things you get right, something's right. You know, you 260 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 4: be perfect, but parent is not perfect. And when that 261 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,960 Speaker 4: scene came up, I said, oh, let me do a 262 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,120 Speaker 4: little of this. And I haven't seen it, but I 263 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:37,800 Speaker 4: hope it addresses that issue where no, no, no, you're. 264 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:39,800 Speaker 10: Gonna tell me. But let me just tell you a 265 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:40,840 Speaker 10: little something. 266 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 4: Too, because I don't think we look we only look 267 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:47,200 Speaker 4: from one perspective, which you didn't do for me. Well, 268 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:48,720 Speaker 4: let me tell you what you didn't do for me, 269 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:53,000 Speaker 4: you know, because nobody gives you the handbook on parenting. 270 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:55,800 Speaker 2: And it's still in there too. It's like all of 271 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:58,120 Speaker 2: us has been doing like this press run. That's one 272 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 2: of the most important parts of the movie. Oh yeah, 273 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 2: you know, I don't know who said it, but like 274 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:09,120 Speaker 2: she's a woman too, She's like, yeah, you're human, so 275 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 2: like it's still when you see it, you'll see. 276 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 10: I think you know. 277 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,080 Speaker 8: I was going to say one of the things that 278 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,120 Speaker 8: miss Anna was was talking about, and I don't want 279 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 8: to give too much away, but we're so used to 280 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:23,320 Speaker 8: our mothers and elders telling us do what I say, 281 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,000 Speaker 8: Just do it, don't ever talk back to me. But 282 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:29,040 Speaker 8: when you become an adult, you do have questions about 283 00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 8: things that happen to you. And one of the things 284 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:34,360 Speaker 8: that I love is to sing with you and Dominique Perry, 285 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:37,440 Speaker 8: who's not here, she loves the show. She plays my sister, 286 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 8: but she confronts her mother and her without giving too 287 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 8: much away, her mother listens and apologizes, and that is 288 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:48,160 Speaker 8: something that I really hope folks take away from this. 289 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 8: You can always apologize and do better. So that's one 290 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,920 Speaker 8: of the things I love about this film. 291 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,480 Speaker 6: I apologize with my kids all the time, and I 292 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,320 Speaker 6: agree with everything y'all saying, because I think that we 293 00:14:56,440 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 6: often forget our parents had a life before ye they were. 294 00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:01,720 Speaker 7: Just a girl and a guy. 295 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,560 Speaker 10: Yeah, that's very interesting. 296 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 4: I at one point told my parents, I said, I 297 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:10,120 Speaker 4: want to know who you were before you became my 298 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,320 Speaker 4: mother and father. So what I did is I went 299 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 4: back to both of their hometown and just to see 300 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 4: who they were, because I said, oh, and then I 301 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:24,640 Speaker 4: interviewed them because I didn't know, and my mother surprised 302 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:25,840 Speaker 4: me a lot. 303 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:31,680 Speaker 10: I said, how many men you had? Mama? Camera man said. 304 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:32,440 Speaker 6: That's your mother. 305 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 10: I said, I know, but I wanted and she said three. 306 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 4: But you know, after they all come out the same, 307 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 4: they want the same. 308 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,200 Speaker 10: And I said, okay. 309 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,120 Speaker 4: I said, well, what would you say if your daughter 310 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:46,800 Speaker 4: had a lot more than that? She said, if it 311 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 4: took a hundred men to make my daughter happy, I'm 312 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:50,800 Speaker 4: happy for her. 313 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,960 Speaker 10: And I said, who is this woman? 314 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:59,920 Speaker 4: Who is I mean, isn't that. 315 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 7: But it's just interesting because we don't know who they are. 316 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 4: You know, they start and then at a certain point, 317 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,520 Speaker 4: if you if you're lucky enough to have your parents 318 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:14,280 Speaker 4: live long enough, because a lot of us lose them, 319 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:21,800 Speaker 4: you become the parent to this child and you see, oh, oh, 320 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:25,160 Speaker 4: the kindness, the kindness, you know, it's just. 321 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,760 Speaker 10: It's so interesting. That, and I think I'm blessed. 322 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:31,680 Speaker 4: We all are blessed to be able to have a 323 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 4: fantasy of I want to. 324 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,400 Speaker 10: Be an actor. I want people for them, I want 325 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:35,960 Speaker 10: to stand on. 326 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 4: State and then you get to have it done and 327 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:43,720 Speaker 4: people know you. I mean, every other black person in America, 328 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,760 Speaker 4: especially up town, knows me. 329 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:50,280 Speaker 10: That's how you know it's me. You know it's me. 330 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,480 Speaker 4: And you meet them how they meet you in the house, 331 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:59,000 Speaker 4: you know, because I have been in your living room 332 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,560 Speaker 4: all over, on the radio, in your car, you know, 333 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,920 Speaker 4: for a long time. So I can't laugh or talk 334 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:10,320 Speaker 4: too loud because they know. I know. 335 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,240 Speaker 6: This movie is going to empower a lot of people 336 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,040 Speaker 6: over the holidays to have those conversations. 337 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:19,399 Speaker 4: You know. 338 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:21,800 Speaker 6: One of the one of my first breakthroughs in therapy 339 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,960 Speaker 6: was realizing that my dad used to discipline me for 340 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,040 Speaker 6: things he never taught me. And so when we had 341 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:29,560 Speaker 6: a conversation and he started telling me about his own 342 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,240 Speaker 6: issues and he tried to commit suicide and he was 343 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:35,520 Speaker 6: on you know, different medication for his Once I realized 344 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:37,720 Speaker 6: all that, it gave me a level of grace for 345 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:38,120 Speaker 6: him that. 346 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:38,600 Speaker 10: I ever know. 347 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 7: Yeah, you're lucky if we got a chance to look 348 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,080 Speaker 7: at them like that, that's wow. 349 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,399 Speaker 2: We also have a conversation with her. That's one of 350 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,120 Speaker 2: my struggles now is that you know my dad has dementia, 351 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,800 Speaker 2: and it's like, oh, you know, going through therapy and 352 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,840 Speaker 2: like recognizing some moments where like dang, he wasn't. I 353 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,720 Speaker 2: had to get to a point where I understood not 354 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 2: even just my dad, just people loved me. They wasn't 355 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:04,240 Speaker 2: necessary hating that they didn't believe in me. They was 356 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,600 Speaker 2: scared for me, and I was taking a chance doing 357 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,480 Speaker 2: something nobody did, so it was more or less a 358 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:12,199 Speaker 2: protection thing. It wasn't that they didn't believe you. They 359 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,680 Speaker 2: just didn't want you to be hurt. 360 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:17,560 Speaker 10: You know what I'm saying. And so like a trade school, Broy. 361 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 7: That's familiar to them. You see people who work trades 362 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:26,640 Speaker 7: all the time. Same with Like with me, I wanted 363 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,080 Speaker 7: to be an actress since I was a little girl, 364 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,680 Speaker 7: but we didn't know nobody in my family. So my 365 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:32,600 Speaker 7: mama was like, Okay, I know you want to do that, 366 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,760 Speaker 7: but you also make clothes. So my great great aunt 367 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,520 Speaker 7: was the town seems toss. So she said, once you 368 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:41,399 Speaker 7: go to school for fashion design, because if the actioning 369 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,480 Speaker 7: thing don't work out, then you have that. It wasn't 370 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,920 Speaker 7: that she was discouraging. She was just telling me, like, 371 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:47,520 Speaker 7: I know, we know what that looks like. 372 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:48,760 Speaker 10: You can actually do that. 373 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,159 Speaker 3: So you know, let me ask you, how would you 374 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,600 Speaker 3: be with your kids? Right, because the same thing with me? Right, 375 00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:55,880 Speaker 3: My mom said, get a job with a hat. 376 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:56,439 Speaker 4: That was a thing. 377 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:57,720 Speaker 2: Get a job of that hat. 378 00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:00,359 Speaker 3: You work for twenty years, you get retired men in 379 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,920 Speaker 3: your coboard. Right when I was a DJ, they thought 380 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,919 Speaker 3: the DJ thing was cute. Until after I graduated from 381 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:05,960 Speaker 3: college and I still did it. I was like, I 382 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:06,600 Speaker 3: got enough enough. 383 00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:08,800 Speaker 1: But now I look at it and I'm like, I 384 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:09,880 Speaker 1: would never be that right. 385 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,440 Speaker 3: But then I look at if my son ten years 386 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,360 Speaker 3: ago saidad I want to be a gamer, I'd be like, boy, 387 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:15,720 Speaker 3: if you don't get the cons. 388 00:19:19,119 --> 00:19:22,720 Speaker 8: Forty million can get scholarships to college now doing gaming 389 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:26,000 Speaker 8: all across oh, yes, the world. 390 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,600 Speaker 10: And I think you have to. 391 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:32,760 Speaker 4: I mean it's really interesting children, you know, when they're 392 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 4: looking for advice, I said, your voice should be louder 393 00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:40,200 Speaker 4: when God talks to you, he tells you, you know, 394 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,280 Speaker 4: because there's a little girl like tapas, I said, Mommy, 395 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,560 Speaker 4: I got to go to Hollywood, and I would practice 396 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,760 Speaker 4: walking down the steps. Of course I would fall a 397 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,919 Speaker 4: lot because I had on heels. And she said, your 398 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,280 Speaker 4: ass gonna be broken by the time because the Hollywood. 399 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,200 Speaker 4: And one time I was going somewhere my back was 400 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:55,720 Speaker 4: I said. 401 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:56,320 Speaker 2: She was right. 402 00:19:59,119 --> 00:19:59,640 Speaker 1: Years after. 403 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:04,760 Speaker 4: But God tells you what you were here for, what 404 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:08,640 Speaker 4: you were here for. And I remember one time I said, oh. 405 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:12,200 Speaker 4: My mother said, oh, you look just like a lamp 406 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 4: post girl. 407 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:14,960 Speaker 10: And I said, oh, I'm a real actress. I was 408 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:15,960 Speaker 10: about four or five. 409 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,159 Speaker 4: I don't know what a lamp post girl was. It 410 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 4: was a prostitute in Santa Domingo. 411 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,879 Speaker 1: But I thought, wow, I. 412 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,639 Speaker 4: Put my hat on and I had something else and 413 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 4: she said, oh, and I'm just like a lamp post girl. 414 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,000 Speaker 10: And I said, she didn't know what was me. I'm 415 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,040 Speaker 10: a lamp post girl. 416 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,200 Speaker 1: No, mother, I never did. 417 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:40,840 Speaker 4: I never became on, but I acted like one. But again, 418 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:45,480 Speaker 4: God talks to you. He tells you what you came 419 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,119 Speaker 4: here for. There's no mistakes, even though you don't have 420 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,320 Speaker 4: any reference. This one wasn't that, This one wasn't that. 421 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:55,440 Speaker 4: Listen to that voice, Make that voice louder than any 422 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,520 Speaker 4: outside voice coming to you because they don't. 423 00:20:58,359 --> 00:20:59,560 Speaker 10: Know you know, what you're saying. 424 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 2: I said with my family, I had to like, I 425 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,280 Speaker 2: remember when it was they were being combative to it. 426 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:06,960 Speaker 2: But I'm like, well, y'all raised me and told me 427 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:10,840 Speaker 2: I could do anything, So you raised me too good, 428 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,639 Speaker 2: So I can't listen to what you said, you know 429 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,200 Speaker 2: what I mean. Like, it's really interesting, but once again, 430 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:17,160 Speaker 2: it came out of fear. 431 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:17,399 Speaker 4: Right. 432 00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:19,879 Speaker 2: One of the things I love about my family is 433 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,720 Speaker 2: that they end up apologizing. When I first moved to 434 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,680 Speaker 2: New York and I got my first show, they literally 435 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:30,320 Speaker 2: threw a dinner together and apologize. And so now to 436 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:33,199 Speaker 2: this point, they are crazy supportive. Like you see them 437 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:34,240 Speaker 2: with little real shirts. 438 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,240 Speaker 8: You're teaching that, you're teaching them also, And I think 439 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:41,480 Speaker 8: for our children, we always look at them as ours, ours, 440 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:43,920 Speaker 8: little usses. But they grow up and they grow into 441 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 8: their own people, and then one day you need their help, 442 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 8: you need their advice, and you realize, oh, they're part. 443 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:50,280 Speaker 7: Of my community. 444 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,159 Speaker 8: And it does flip as your parents get older. My 445 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:56,399 Speaker 8: mother is in her seventies and it's very much like, girl, 446 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 8: why you didn't do what I told you? 447 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,040 Speaker 7: You know, talking back all of that. So life is 448 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:01,920 Speaker 7: very interesting. 449 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,720 Speaker 6: And also you're a multi millionaire. 450 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,760 Speaker 10: Now they're gonna wear T shirts. 451 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,240 Speaker 2: That's a little round now, yeah, I mean that's but 452 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:09,919 Speaker 2: it wasn't at first. 453 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:12,040 Speaker 10: For loans either. 454 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:18,640 Speaker 2: You don't ask you for money, but it's tough. I'm 455 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,639 Speaker 2: good at saying no. But like I got like that 456 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:24,080 Speaker 2: beautiful old black man and me, you couldn't know what 457 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,919 Speaker 2: I have. That don't mean I'm gonna give it to you, okay, 458 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:29,280 Speaker 2: but you have strengthen that. Like I'm good at that, 459 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:33,600 Speaker 2: Like I don't mind you see it. Yeah, I'm gona 460 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:38,919 Speaker 2: give it to you. Grandfather afford to being a grandfather. 461 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,720 Speaker 2: I mean, I don't want nobody to get pregnant, but 462 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:43,880 Speaker 2: I do. I tell people all the time, like, yeah, 463 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,840 Speaker 2: I am in my old black man crossed my leg era. 464 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,399 Speaker 2: You said no, bro, Like no, yeah, I don't know 465 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:54,720 Speaker 2: what yesterday. Maybe I don't mind saying no, Like I'm 466 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,960 Speaker 2: good because just think about this, if anybody want to 467 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,720 Speaker 2: ask you for money anything, be that person that I 468 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:04,280 Speaker 2: irritating people. They forget that they asked me. Right, I'm 469 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:06,240 Speaker 2: gonna have to tell you about yourself. You coming at me, 470 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,080 Speaker 2: but you know something, never I don't need it, well, 471 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:15,680 Speaker 2: why did you call me? I respect the people that 472 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:17,520 Speaker 2: could take it, the one that. 473 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:23,440 Speaker 7: Oh, yeah season, yes, you need a season. 474 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:25,640 Speaker 2: It's always that season when. 475 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:26,280 Speaker 10: You need a season. 476 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:30,800 Speaker 9: Around Reagan, I want to go back to what you 477 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,359 Speaker 9: were saying earlier about how we were raised, you know 478 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,439 Speaker 9: what I mean, and how we were because I was. 479 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:37,880 Speaker 7: Raising two parent home. 480 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,240 Speaker 9: But it's like, you don't ask me why you don't, 481 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,520 Speaker 9: you know, I say, and that's just what it is, right, 482 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,480 Speaker 9: And now I have a thirteen year old, right, and 483 00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:49,000 Speaker 9: we weren't even allowed to ask my mom why, but 484 00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:51,760 Speaker 9: I let him ask me why because. 485 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:52,000 Speaker 1: He wants to know. 486 00:23:52,280 --> 00:24:03,640 Speaker 9: Yeah, bro, when he was bruh, you know what I mean. 487 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,080 Speaker 9: And then I'm like, all right, I'm gonna put you 488 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,200 Speaker 9: on your neck. But I let him, you know, as 489 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:13,280 Speaker 9: he as I'm raising him, ask questions like, you know, 490 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,680 Speaker 9: because and then I even talked to my mom like 491 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:17,720 Speaker 9: I remember, we couldn't even ask you why, you know, 492 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,800 Speaker 9: And what she says is like, I'm sorry. 493 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,639 Speaker 7: Because that's how I was taught. The grandmother taught me that, 494 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,960 Speaker 7: you know, And it was not abusive. It wasn't that 495 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:27,800 Speaker 7: she was trying to be mean, but they were trying 496 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:32,480 Speaker 7: to instill that. Uh, I guess that that respect right. 497 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,280 Speaker 7: And some people are mistaken as fear. 498 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:34,600 Speaker 6: You know. 499 00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:36,040 Speaker 7: No, she didn't want me to fear her, but I 500 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:40,800 Speaker 7: feared them consequences, you know. And so my son now 501 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:46,560 Speaker 7: I'm trying to find a balance exactly. 502 00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:47,520 Speaker 10: You don't want him to. 503 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:51,040 Speaker 8: Be too curious, but you need to be curious in life. 504 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,600 Speaker 8: You know, You're you're preparing him to be a young 505 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:55,600 Speaker 8: man out in the world. You don't want him to 506 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,440 Speaker 8: just do what people tell him to do. You want 507 00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,040 Speaker 8: him to ask questions, you know. 508 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,440 Speaker 2: So you're doing yeah, but see, you know, you gotta 509 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,240 Speaker 2: be careful with that rope though, man, especially with teenagers, 510 00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:11,119 Speaker 2: because they like, hey, fan, look now I get it 511 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,600 Speaker 2: you're hurt, but you don't just walk off while I'm 512 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,080 Speaker 2: talking to you, you know what I mean. But that's 513 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 2: a part of because they do have a sense of freedom, 514 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:21,760 Speaker 2: like especially like a lot of us, who who created 515 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,040 Speaker 2: these better lives for our children? I me and my 516 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,200 Speaker 2: daughter said something that was so real one time, and 517 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,440 Speaker 2: I had to own that too. I'm like, cause you know, 518 00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,199 Speaker 2: you know, we got whatever our house is, and they 519 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,399 Speaker 2: we're bored. I'm like, you got a pool? It is 520 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,880 Speaker 2: a theater. What do you mean you bored? 521 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,680 Speaker 1: Just so much to do here? 522 00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:37,919 Speaker 10: You bored? 523 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:40,520 Speaker 2: But She's like with dad, I was born into this 524 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,959 Speaker 2: type of life. But then I had to look at 525 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,080 Speaker 2: him like, yeah, it is a perspective of I'm from 526 00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:48,080 Speaker 2: the West Side of Chicago that had to play with 527 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,840 Speaker 2: the fire hydrate outside and the room pool we had. 528 00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:52,200 Speaker 2: We don't know if it was clean because people was 529 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,440 Speaker 2: in there with their regular outfits, like you know what 530 00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,160 Speaker 2: I mean, So like yeah, and I was like, oh, yeah, 531 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 2: I guess this is great to me because this is 532 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,000 Speaker 2: what I wish I had, right, you know what I mean? 533 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:04,560 Speaker 2: I was scared to go outside because it was crazy 534 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,680 Speaker 2: that's going on. But but but that was one of 535 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:08,520 Speaker 2: those things where you do give him the freedom, but 536 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,440 Speaker 2: it also is it balanced because it's like, you know, 537 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,600 Speaker 2: it's still I'm still your dad, it's still your mom. 538 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:16,159 Speaker 10: And you can't I hear you. 539 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:20,320 Speaker 2: You can't be talking crazy. You got an opinion? Cool, 540 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:21,440 Speaker 2: it's the way you say it. 541 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,560 Speaker 1: That's when your parents got to come out right when 542 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,720 Speaker 1: they talk crazy, turn around, what would your right. 543 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:28,879 Speaker 10: Actually hit him? 544 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:33,040 Speaker 2: But we've been checked before. I remember, like my dad, 545 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:35,200 Speaker 2: you know, he had a new job and his check 546 00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:39,040 Speaker 2: was short one time, and you know, we was being kids, like, 547 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:40,399 Speaker 2: oh man, because he was supposed to take us a 548 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:41,879 Speaker 2: piece of hood. You know, it's a big bill of us. 549 00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:45,040 Speaker 2: And we was we was fussing. My mama pulled us 550 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:47,520 Speaker 2: to the side and was like, look, that's your dad, 551 00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:53,440 Speaker 2: but that's my husband. You ever disrespect his check was short? Yeah, 552 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:55,719 Speaker 2: it is what it is. Wherever he take us, it's 553 00:26:55,760 --> 00:26:57,600 Speaker 2: what we're gonna do. You going there and you give 554 00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:00,639 Speaker 2: him a hug right now. And I never forget that 555 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:02,960 Speaker 2: moment because I was like, like, when she said, that's 556 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,159 Speaker 2: my husband, think about that. 557 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:11,320 Speaker 10: Right you be talking, don't talking about wife like that? 558 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:11,760 Speaker 4: Yeah? 559 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,840 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's that happens a lot, especially with teenage 560 00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,560 Speaker 2: girls the whole way with the mom's things. 561 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:19,879 Speaker 8: That was one of the points that miss Anna, I 562 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,200 Speaker 8: heard you say on the Red Carpet that a lot 563 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,080 Speaker 8: of your mother roles you had sons and this is 564 00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:28,359 Speaker 8: the first time you had daughters, and the difference in 565 00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:29,080 Speaker 8: the conflict. 566 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 7: You don't have a conflict to watch to. 567 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:39,440 Speaker 1: You, Yes, daughters, everything, okay, what my bag? 568 00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,119 Speaker 7: Look and you're supposed to be grounding her. 569 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:49,840 Speaker 3: The oldest is twenty four, youngest is four. I'm shoveling snow. 570 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:51,560 Speaker 3: My daughters will be like, come on, dad, let's do it. 571 00:27:52,480 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 1: I was like video window, Yeah, this is. 572 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:05,200 Speaker 4: My daddy. 573 00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:06,200 Speaker 10: Could do no wrong. 574 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:10,359 Speaker 7: I remember like being mad at my mama because the 575 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,080 Speaker 7: way she might have talked to my daddy if they 576 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:16,040 Speaker 7: were having a disagreement. Like when my parents divorced, I 577 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,159 Speaker 7: thought like I could live with my mama. I got 578 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,680 Speaker 7: so sick that I had to go live with my daddy. 579 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,440 Speaker 7: I was like, I love you, Mama, but I'm gonna 580 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:24,440 Speaker 7: need to go stay with my daddy. 581 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:25,879 Speaker 10: Come and see you. 582 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:27,560 Speaker 1: But I got to go stay with my daddy, and 583 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:28,719 Speaker 1: mama to you after day. 584 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:31,840 Speaker 7: We was in the small town, so she won't with 585 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:35,600 Speaker 7: ten minutes away. I was raised and seeing my daddy 586 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,200 Speaker 7: every single day, and I'm in ninth grade. When they 587 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:42,280 Speaker 7: you know, divorced and separated, it felt like my world collapsed. 588 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:44,200 Speaker 2: And I mean, I love my mama. 589 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:45,960 Speaker 7: She was my best friend too, But me and my 590 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,840 Speaker 7: daddy we like to this day. I talked to him 591 00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:51,400 Speaker 7: every day when I see Like when I don't see 592 00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,840 Speaker 7: him for a while, I started feeling like something right. 593 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:58,280 Speaker 7: So whoever came up with mama's boy or you know, 594 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:02,040 Speaker 7: daddy's girl came from a real place daddy. 595 00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:04,480 Speaker 6: First of all, that's a beautiful I pray my daughter's 596 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:06,120 Speaker 6: have that connection with me. How do what do daddys 597 00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:07,120 Speaker 6: have to do to ensure that? 598 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 7: I think, create an environment that makes them feel safe, 599 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:16,000 Speaker 7: makes them feel heard and seen, uh, you know, teach 600 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:20,480 Speaker 7: them things that the world will try to teach them later. Like, 601 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:24,440 Speaker 7: my daddy is a big talker, Honey, he would talk. 602 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,480 Speaker 7: I remember when I was younger, I'd be like, Daddy, 603 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,280 Speaker 7: you'd be talking a lot now you for real. But 604 00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:32,000 Speaker 7: now I'd be like telling my kids something. I'd be like, 605 00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:34,080 Speaker 7: oh my god, my daddy told me that. Like it 606 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:36,920 Speaker 7: stayed with me, even though I used to think, you know, 607 00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:39,480 Speaker 7: because you're young, you think a little stupid stuff. 608 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:40,000 Speaker 10: Sometimes. 609 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:45,200 Speaker 7: He taught me so many life lessons. And my daddy 610 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,280 Speaker 7: didn't have no sons. He just had two girls. So 611 00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:48,960 Speaker 7: you taught me a lot of things that you would 612 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:50,520 Speaker 7: teach you know, quote unquote boys. 613 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 2: Right. 614 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,640 Speaker 7: He taught me how to you know, change the old 615 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:57,120 Speaker 7: you know, chang's tires, look at all your stuff, your 616 00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:01,040 Speaker 7: time and miilia, all the things that I think that 617 00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:03,840 Speaker 7: he would have taught a son. But I use a listen. 618 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:05,840 Speaker 7: My husband did not have a father. I taught my 619 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:10,960 Speaker 7: husband how to Yeah, so he taught me how to 620 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:15,480 Speaker 7: be loved by man, right, So you know. It also 621 00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:17,360 Speaker 7: caused conflict a little bit with me and my husband. 622 00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:18,360 Speaker 2: We laugh about it now. 623 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:20,360 Speaker 7: I used to be like, I ain't never see my mama, 624 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:21,440 Speaker 7: pump gas what you're talking about. 625 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,000 Speaker 10: I don't like my mama. 626 00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:29,640 Speaker 7: I was like, well, it ain't never let you just 627 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,520 Speaker 7: like he just he takes care of you in a 628 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,600 Speaker 7: way that makes you feel like he is the best 629 00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:35,360 Speaker 7: man in the world. 630 00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:38,840 Speaker 4: And there's an unspoken I don't know when it comes 631 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,240 Speaker 4: for little girls, especially when you grow up with a man, 632 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:46,520 Speaker 4: there's a safety valve that you could always. 633 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,080 Speaker 10: Run to Daddy's. You don't even have to talk. You 634 00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,400 Speaker 10: don't even have to talk. You just hold that leg 635 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:52,160 Speaker 10: or that foot. 636 00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:56,360 Speaker 4: And my big deal is I never wanted to I 637 00:30:56,440 --> 00:31:01,520 Speaker 4: didn't want to disappoint thought of disappointed by Larva. They 638 00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:05,080 Speaker 4: gave me a hard time on Amen after the second 639 00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,800 Speaker 4: year or something, and they didn't want to come through 640 00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:09,520 Speaker 4: with the money that they had promised. 641 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:13,360 Speaker 10: And I said, you know, it's okay, you all got it. 642 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:16,160 Speaker 10: I don't have to do it ever again, because I. 643 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:20,600 Speaker 4: Had far exceeded any expectations anybody had for me. So 644 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,760 Speaker 4: I can go back uptown live in one of his houses, 645 00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,560 Speaker 4: one of the rooms. He might complain about some rent. 646 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:31,320 Speaker 10: But I just felt I got a daddy who will 647 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:33,560 Speaker 10: take care of me. He's the rest of my life. 648 00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,960 Speaker 4: And there's something and I don't know if they tell 649 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,920 Speaker 4: you something or you just feel it, there's a feeling. 650 00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:41,400 Speaker 4: And all of a sudden, this last week, I've been 651 00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,680 Speaker 4: thinking about when he used to see me, used to smile. 652 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:46,320 Speaker 10: I used to make him smile all the time. And 653 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:47,920 Speaker 10: I said, what was that about? 654 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:48,520 Speaker 11: You know? 655 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:49,400 Speaker 10: Anna? 656 00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:51,440 Speaker 4: You know? And I got a chance to bring him 657 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,280 Speaker 4: out to Hollywood when I was still on the show, 658 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:55,600 Speaker 4: and he was so grateful. 659 00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:57,960 Speaker 10: Then he said, tell your father. I said, I said, Daddy, 660 00:31:58,040 --> 00:31:59,880 Speaker 10: stop Sherman Hemsley, it's not my. 661 00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,040 Speaker 1: Got involved in this thing. 662 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:08,040 Speaker 10: And I said, it's something that you feel. That's why 663 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:08,920 Speaker 10: you tell women. 664 00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:11,920 Speaker 4: I just feel so bad for any man who walks 665 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:18,440 Speaker 4: away and see that. Parenthood is a two party check. 666 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,760 Speaker 4: It's a check that has to be signed by mommy 667 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:24,200 Speaker 4: and Daddy, whether you know them or not, Whether he 668 00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:25,040 Speaker 4: pays child. 669 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:25,520 Speaker 10: Support or not. 670 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:30,560 Speaker 4: The child needs those two signatures. They need to know, wow, 671 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,640 Speaker 4: my nose looks like yours, my eyes look like yours. 672 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 4: You say that, or Daddy gets a joke about you. 673 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:38,800 Speaker 10: Two don't have to be together. 674 00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:42,480 Speaker 4: But that child needs to know he comes from two 675 00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:45,600 Speaker 4: forces that came together to create this. 676 00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:48,920 Speaker 10: And like you said, and sometimes it's not talk. It's 677 00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 10: sometimes just a feeling. 678 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,320 Speaker 2: And when they look at you and you say, oh, 679 00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,080 Speaker 2: because that that's something that's not talked about enough. Right, 680 00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:59,680 Speaker 2: Because sometimes you do have some young women if they 681 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:03,080 Speaker 2: dad wasn't around. Yeah, I've seen him, like make up 682 00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:05,280 Speaker 2: a version of it, right, Yeah, well it's a mill 683 00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:08,000 Speaker 2: my grandfather. But it's not the same No, it's not. Yeah, 684 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:11,560 Speaker 2: it's literally not the same thing the connection you had 685 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:12,400 Speaker 2: with your dad. 686 00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:12,760 Speaker 11: Right. 687 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,760 Speaker 8: And you know what for me, my oldest is eighteen. 688 00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:19,800 Speaker 8: She's a freshman in college high honey. But even taking 689 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:22,560 Speaker 8: her to college and dropping her off and my husband 690 00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:24,840 Speaker 8: was a wreck when we got on the plane and 691 00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:25,800 Speaker 8: came on without her. 692 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:27,920 Speaker 7: And I'm like, you know, I'm independent. 693 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,160 Speaker 8: I've been working since. 694 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,000 Speaker 7: I was fourteen. I'm like, she's good, she's good. 695 00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,720 Speaker 8: He's like, but if something happens, I can't just get 696 00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:38,280 Speaker 8: to her. Yeah, and I'm like, wow, wow, that's a 697 00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:42,320 Speaker 8: real and as his wife, as his wife, because he 698 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:44,840 Speaker 8: did his father was not around either, But seeing the 699 00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:46,920 Speaker 8: man that he is and the father that he is, 700 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:49,120 Speaker 8: it just made me fall more in love with him. 701 00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:52,000 Speaker 6: That's really what you're saying. My daughter doing college Basu's 702 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,640 Speaker 6: not and I feel the same way. It's like she 703 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:55,520 Speaker 6: got to be somewhere where the village can get to 704 00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:56,479 Speaker 6: her quick before I can. 705 00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:59,720 Speaker 1: My daughter went to n YU, so it was right there. 706 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,040 Speaker 1: But now but now on the other side, my son 707 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:04,080 Speaker 1: go to University of Miami. 708 00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:08,920 Speaker 4: It was like is like it was. 709 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,080 Speaker 2: White women galore yeh. 710 00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:18,120 Speaker 1: Yeh from my daughter play football miss. 711 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:22,480 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah yeah. 712 00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:28,799 Speaker 7: But how did your wife handle because said that part. 713 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:31,600 Speaker 3: They speak all the time, they FaceTime all the time. 714 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:33,560 Speaker 3: But for me, I remember the first time I called 715 00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:34,719 Speaker 3: my daughter, she didn't answer right. 716 00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:37,920 Speaker 2: I jet to the city. She was sleeping. I jet 717 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,080 Speaker 2: to the city and I would on her so bad. 718 00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:41,000 Speaker 4: I need. 719 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:44,520 Speaker 1: I need to get in here. 720 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:46,239 Speaker 2: But my wife looked at me like. 721 00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:49,680 Speaker 7: She's living her life. She's living her she has she 722 00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:50,440 Speaker 7: has classes. 723 00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:55,760 Speaker 2: Sophomore year two. This was COVID. 724 00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:58,520 Speaker 3: And the bad thing about New York is I went 725 00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:06,919 Speaker 3: to Hampton, right, so he has a but she's going 726 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:14,360 Speaker 3: to She's hanging out with yeah everybody, just like. 727 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:16,680 Speaker 7: You did, Just like you did. You know, now it's 728 00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:17,240 Speaker 7: her turn. 729 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:21,879 Speaker 10: It's her, just like we did. 730 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:27,000 Speaker 7: I think the part about that and what I had 731 00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:31,719 Speaker 7: to learn is that my daughter, my children are not me, right, 732 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,279 Speaker 7: They're not going to do the exact same thing that 733 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,080 Speaker 7: I did. I'm not going to think the way that 734 00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,680 Speaker 7: I thought. I think that's where I made a lot 735 00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:41,759 Speaker 7: of mistakes in my parenting, like you know, learning with 736 00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,680 Speaker 7: my daughter because I was like, now, I know what 737 00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:45,840 Speaker 7: I was thinking when I was that age, and so 738 00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:50,080 Speaker 7: I was projecting my fears of my own past upon 739 00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:53,040 Speaker 7: her and that wasn't fair for her, right. And now 740 00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,040 Speaker 7: that she's twenty four, we've talked about it, and it's 741 00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,360 Speaker 7: some stuff that I can't read parents guilt for And 742 00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:59,160 Speaker 7: she'd be like, Mama, I don't even remember what you're 743 00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:02,920 Speaker 7: talking about. And I'm like, oh, well, thank you anyway 744 00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:06,759 Speaker 7: for letting Mama get it out. But our children, we 745 00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:10,160 Speaker 7: give birth to them, God trust us to bring them here, 746 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:11,719 Speaker 7: but they are not us. 747 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,879 Speaker 6: Yeah, I told my daughter a couple of days ago, 748 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:15,600 Speaker 6: because you know she's been driving. She got a car. 749 00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:17,880 Speaker 6: Now you know, she goes out, she comes home, responsor me, 750 00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:19,160 Speaker 6: she got a job and stuff like that. And I said, 751 00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:21,320 Speaker 6: you know what, I love that I can trust you. 752 00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:27,560 Speaker 6: It's just a feeling that you can trusty child. I 753 00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:28,560 Speaker 6: don't know, it's just everything. 754 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,520 Speaker 4: Can I say one thing to you about step parents 755 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,440 Speaker 4: and stuff like that, and you have to, even if 756 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:39,480 Speaker 4: you're mad at the gentleman or you're mad at the mother, 757 00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:44,160 Speaker 4: understand that that child is walking around with the DNA 758 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:48,240 Speaker 4: from that other person and they need. 759 00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:52,759 Speaker 10: To replenish that energy that's in them. 760 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:56,520 Speaker 4: Because again, even if I'm mad at you, don't get 761 00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,600 Speaker 4: one guy I was working with on Amen and it's 762 00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:03,360 Speaker 4: far the was my father's doctor. And I was so 763 00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:06,520 Speaker 4: excited to say, oh, your father's and so when you're 764 00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:07,879 Speaker 4: telling me so, I don't talk to him. 765 00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:11,600 Speaker 10: And I said why And he said, I don't want 766 00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:13,040 Speaker 10: it to make my mother mad. 767 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,719 Speaker 4: And I said, no, your mother knows him. But the 768 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:19,960 Speaker 4: conflict because the father might have done the mother wrong, 769 00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:20,960 Speaker 4: you know. 770 00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:27,080 Speaker 10: She did, but the idea is no, she picked him. 771 00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:29,800 Speaker 10: She picked him, and it's okay. 772 00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:32,759 Speaker 4: So it's not that you're violating your mother's trust by 773 00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:34,880 Speaker 4: talking to your father, you know. 774 00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:38,080 Speaker 10: So we have to be really open. 775 00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:39,800 Speaker 4: And saying even though I don't like, I want you 776 00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:43,560 Speaker 4: to continue to like if you can just be gentle 777 00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:46,800 Speaker 4: just if he wants to send a card or encourage 778 00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,640 Speaker 4: him sometimes just call your father say hello, don't use 779 00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:53,000 Speaker 4: the kids, don't Yeah, and you don't know, we're we're 780 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:53,759 Speaker 4: we're doing it. 781 00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,120 Speaker 2: Well. This is just with your book too, And it's 782 00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:58,719 Speaker 2: funn because I was hearing you talk about it. I mean, 783 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:03,839 Speaker 2: co parenting is so it's it's a humbling experience where 784 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:06,960 Speaker 2: you have to take your personal feelings out of it 785 00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:10,880 Speaker 2: for the it has to go. And then if you 786 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:12,640 Speaker 2: know you're able to you know, one of the things 787 00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:14,800 Speaker 2: I love, you know, with my ex wife was that 788 00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:16,759 Speaker 2: we was able to have a real conversation at some 789 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:19,680 Speaker 2: point when we put all the ego stuff once we 790 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:21,480 Speaker 2: once we did that and it was like, all right, 791 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:24,360 Speaker 2: we can talk about what we did wrong if you 792 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,040 Speaker 2: want to just get out, let's just get that out there, 793 00:38:26,239 --> 00:38:27,879 Speaker 2: because we ain't gonna get back together. Let's just talk 794 00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:30,439 Speaker 2: about Its no point of being like we were cool 795 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:32,840 Speaker 2: at one point, you know, what I'm saying. So, like 796 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,320 Speaker 2: when you do that and then you just focus on 797 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,600 Speaker 2: those children, it's weird because sometimes it's hard for like 798 00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:41,759 Speaker 2: even when you have a newer person, they could get 799 00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:46,000 Speaker 2: a little irritated with your co parenting relationship. Fam, I'm 800 00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:46,719 Speaker 2: keeping the peace. 801 00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:48,360 Speaker 10: Yes, I hear it. 802 00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:52,840 Speaker 1: Yes, listen, but yeah, this is cool. 803 00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:54,920 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, because it wasn't cool at one. 804 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:02,080 Speaker 6: Just one quick question, and it's in regards to the 805 00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:04,320 Speaker 6: movie and everything we're talking about. Now, do you personally 806 00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:06,520 Speaker 6: believe that family should always be forgiven? I know we're 807 00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:07,440 Speaker 6: talking about stepparents, but. 808 00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:09,839 Speaker 10: Just its. 809 00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:23,799 Speaker 1: That's a good question. 810 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:30,880 Speaker 7: Yeah, I believe everyone can be forgiven. Right, forgiveness is 811 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:35,440 Speaker 7: not for the other person, it's for you. And so forgiveness, 812 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:41,560 Speaker 7: even in family doesn't mean we have to be together forget. 813 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:44,239 Speaker 7: It doesn't mean that you have to be back in 814 00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:46,880 Speaker 7: my life. It just means I have forgiven you and 815 00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:48,080 Speaker 7: I'm going about my business. 816 00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:51,399 Speaker 9: Yeah, you got some some deep pain though, like from 817 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:54,880 Speaker 9: some family members that just can't reverse. 818 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:58,080 Speaker 8: Like especially if they're not asking for your forgiveness, if 819 00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:01,000 Speaker 8: they don't see nothing wrong, then it makes it hard 820 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:02,440 Speaker 8: for even if you want to forgive. 821 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:05,880 Speaker 7: Yeah, But that's the thing about forgiveness. When it's for you, 822 00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:08,760 Speaker 7: you don't have to say it to that person. It's 823 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:13,279 Speaker 7: so that you can move forward in your life without hinderance, right, 824 00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:17,480 Speaker 7: because sometimes you can hold something against someone and it 825 00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,879 Speaker 7: holds you back, right, you can't move forward. So it's 826 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:24,640 Speaker 7: not for them, right, especially because we've all been hurt 827 00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:27,160 Speaker 7: and there's some things that people do that feels like 828 00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:30,600 Speaker 7: that is it can't be forgiven, Like it just can't. 829 00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:33,680 Speaker 7: But to them, they may go to you know, they 830 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:36,880 Speaker 7: rest in place feeling like you never forgave them, and 831 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,440 Speaker 7: that's their business to feel. For you to live your 832 00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:42,160 Speaker 7: life in peace, forgiveness has to live in your heart. 833 00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:44,799 Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta trust. I mean if it depends if 834 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:46,320 Speaker 2: you're a person of faith, but you just got to 835 00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:47,359 Speaker 2: trust God. 836 00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:48,319 Speaker 10: Let God do it God. 837 00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,719 Speaker 2: I think we really don't understand how much we have 838 00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:54,120 Speaker 2: to mind our own business when it comes to faith. 839 00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:57,880 Speaker 2: I don't need to see God's vengeance on you. Whatever 840 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,319 Speaker 2: God does with you, that's just what. Because I may 841 00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,000 Speaker 2: forgive you and not even be as angry as I 842 00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:04,520 Speaker 2: want God to be because all of our father So 843 00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:06,960 Speaker 2: it's like I'm doing this because I want I went 844 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:08,839 Speaker 2: to see a play called Old Happy Day. That's that's 845 00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:12,000 Speaker 2: out here. Oh man, it's so good and it's a 846 00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:15,279 Speaker 2: great song they have really with that subject. It's you know, 847 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,279 Speaker 2: it's a song. I don't know the lyrics exactly. I 848 00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:20,040 Speaker 2: heard the yesterday, but it's like, can you forgive the 849 00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:23,640 Speaker 2: personal situation that hurts you the most? And it was 850 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:27,200 Speaker 2: God asking that question to Jordan's Cooper's character, because that's 851 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:30,200 Speaker 2: how you move on. You gotta move You can't sit 852 00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,640 Speaker 2: in that, you know what I mean, because it really 853 00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:34,719 Speaker 2: affects you and you can't get it. Ain't about me 854 00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:36,680 Speaker 2: saying what. I don't need nothing from you. I don't 855 00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:39,080 Speaker 2: need you to say. It is what it is. I 856 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:40,759 Speaker 2: forgive you and we ain't got to talk again. 857 00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:44,719 Speaker 9: I wonder what that looks like though, I wonder what 858 00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:47,640 Speaker 9: it looks like forgiving somebody training God talk to you 859 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,680 Speaker 9: know what I mean, like, like, what. 860 00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:51,520 Speaker 2: Does that look like? 861 00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:59,120 Speaker 7: And it looks like freedom, freed, it's a feel like yeah, 862 00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:03,719 Speaker 7: it looks and feels like joy, happiness, Like you can 863 00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:05,320 Speaker 7: see somebody be like they went through all that and 864 00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:07,360 Speaker 7: they still looking they're still showing us. 865 00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,239 Speaker 8: Because it takes a lot of energy to hold on 866 00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:11,880 Speaker 8: to that, to that anger, whatever it is. 867 00:42:11,960 --> 00:42:14,120 Speaker 7: So you're absolutely right. And also, like when you think 868 00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:17,120 Speaker 7: about like matters of the heart, you know, most people 869 00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:20,320 Speaker 7: hurt you. They hurt your heart, right. You know, if 870 00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,120 Speaker 7: you think forgiveness is something that has to happen, it's 871 00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,600 Speaker 7: not about like it hurts your feelings, it hurts your heart. 872 00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:29,279 Speaker 7: So whether that whatever that thing was, say it was 873 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:33,800 Speaker 7: a past relationship, the longer you hold the grudge, the 874 00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:34,799 Speaker 7: longer you block that. 875 00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:37,000 Speaker 10: Part of the heart. For you to be loved, to eat, there. 876 00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:42,560 Speaker 7: Have to release so that we can get what God 877 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:43,200 Speaker 7: has for us. 878 00:42:43,239 --> 00:42:44,880 Speaker 2: There you go. Oh, this is. 879 00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:54,279 Speaker 1: Axpected Christmas is this Friday. Thank you so much for 880 00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:54,759 Speaker 1: joining us. 881 00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:55,160 Speaker 8: Thank you. 882 00:42:57,040 --> 00:42:59,919 Speaker 1: Right now, it's the Breakfast Club. 883 00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:00,359 Speaker 2: The morning. 884 00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:04,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, hold up, every day I wake up, pack your 885 00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:05,839 Speaker 1: ass up the Breakfast Club. 886 00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:07,359 Speaker 10: You're finished, y'all done,