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Speaker 1: Hi am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.

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Speaker 1: We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship and

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Speaker 1: what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling. Railvalry. No, no, sibling.

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Speaker 1: You don't do that with your mouth. Revelry. That's good. Emails, emails, emails.

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Speaker 1: What you gonna do with those emails? What's your inbox? Oh? Yes,

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Speaker 1: Well shall we get straight into it? I mean yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is our favorite people love them. We get all

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Speaker 1: the small talk. Let's just get right in. Let's do it.

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Speaker 1: Who wants to go first? Uh, well you go first? No,

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Speaker 1: don't look, I'll go cheat. Don't cheat, I'm gonna cheat.

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Speaker 1: I was about to cheat because I know that Alison

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Speaker 1: puts like a sad warning, so I was trying not

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Speaker 1: to get that one. But maybe it'll work out in

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Speaker 1: my favor. Here we go. Hi, Kate and Oliver Amy here.

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Speaker 1: Longtime listener, first time emailer, currently residing in a two

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Speaker 1: bedroom estate in South Philadelphia. Hashtag go birds first. Your

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Speaker 1: podcast is thoroughly enjoyable, and I am envious of the

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Speaker 1: relationship that you have with each other. Having a close

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Speaker 1: relationship with my brother is something that I've always wanted

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Speaker 1: for as long as I can remember. But if there's

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Speaker 1: one thing I've learned in this life, you can't force

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Speaker 1: anyone to like you, love you, or want to be

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Speaker 1: your friend. And that includes a sibling, especially when one

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Speaker 1: sibling is in therapy i e. Me, and the other

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Speaker 1: has chosen to stuff the issues way way down. AnyWho,

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Speaker 1: I just finished listening to the episode How to Get

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Speaker 1: Over Yourself with Doctor Mark Epstein, and I have to

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Speaker 1: say the analogy of driving with the windows down, hair

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Speaker 1: blowing in the wind, singing along to a tune, and

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Speaker 1: being totally free really stuck struck a chord with me.

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Speaker 1: I know those moments. I love those moments, yes, and

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Speaker 1: it never really dawned on me how really free those

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Speaker 1: moments truly are clearhead, clear heart, pure epic joy. So true, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so true. As my subject line states, it was a

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Speaker 1: mini aha moment of sorts, something to store in the

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Speaker 1: back of my brain and remember to try to live

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Speaker 1: life as if I'm riding down the highway, screams, singing

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Speaker 1: to some epically nostalgic tune and just let go of

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Speaker 1: all the things I think are holding me back. Thank

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Speaker 1: you for the podcast. And the gift of this AHA moment.

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Speaker 1: Cheers Amy. PS. Yes, the nostalgic portion of my pandemic

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Speaker 1: is in full swing. I just finished watching season six

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Speaker 1: of Dawson's Creek and Eddie Joe. He should have totally

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Speaker 1: ended up together. My twenty something self was all in

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Speaker 1: on pace. Even my forty something self would choose Eddie

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Speaker 1: in a heart feat. Oh, Amy, that's the best, Ollie.

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Speaker 1: That's so funny. I love that email. It made me

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Speaker 1: feel good. Such a good email, it does if that

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Speaker 1: is a feel good email. And how great was doctor Epstein.

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Speaker 1: I just loved him so much. Found out after that,

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Speaker 1: I got a phone call from a friend who will

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Speaker 1: remain nameless, who called me and said, that's my therapist. Yes, what,

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Speaker 1: You're so lucky. He's so great fun. And then he said,

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Speaker 1: is he because I still have so many problems? No,

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Speaker 1: but he was kidding. He was totally kidding. He said

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Speaker 1: he's the most amazing therapist. But yeah, it was really

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Speaker 1: really cool, and and I loved him. But you're right, like,

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Speaker 1: it's so good to have those sort of like in

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Speaker 1: your brain rolodex of visuals, things that feel visceral, that

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Speaker 1: that driving down the Highway moment, you know, because it

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Speaker 1: is I feel like everybody can relate to that. I'm

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Speaker 1: so glad that she wrote that in Oh I know,

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Speaker 1: I know it's true. She says, you can feel you

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Speaker 1: can feel that I love these moments. It's like I

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Speaker 1: love those moments too. It's just so great. What song?

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Speaker 1: What song do you think you'd be playing? Well, it

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Speaker 1: depends on the era of my life, because I've had

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Speaker 1: those moments and they are to a certain song. So,

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Speaker 1: but what about forget about forget about what you've done

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Speaker 1: in the past. Let's just say you're on then East

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Speaker 1: Coast sort of Lonely Highway. The sun is amazingly beautiful,

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Speaker 1: and you're on the beach strip of beach and there's

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Speaker 1: like the dunes, you know, sort of the the grassy dunes,

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Speaker 1: and you're just flying down sort of a two lane highway.

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Speaker 1: You know, what song are you blasting in your convertible?

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Speaker 1: Like Don Henley, Like Beast of Burden. Oh, that's good.

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Speaker 1: That's a good one because it's got like it's got

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Speaker 1: like this beat to it. That's like when you hear it,

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Speaker 1: when you hear Beast of Burden, I'm just gonna play

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Speaker 1: it real quick. I mean I'm just there, like my

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Speaker 1: whole being is like, oh yes, yeah, it's got like

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Speaker 1: a great driving groove. The other one, I'm never a

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Speaker 1: song Jesus Christ, so that that might be my like

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Speaker 1: number one. There's the whole album of Tattoo You for

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Speaker 1: me was like that moment, like that free, freeing moment

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Speaker 1: in my life right first of the time. But the

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Speaker 1: Cranberries when I was sixteen sixteen and got my car,

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Speaker 1: it was all about the Cranberries. You know which song? Ah,

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Speaker 1: you know, right right, right right? What was it? Let's

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Speaker 1: see Boys on the Side. You know there were boys

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Speaker 1: on the side. Yeah, that's that Drew Barrymore movile. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you like put the car down and you're just

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Speaker 1: like it's amazing, Okay. And then here's my other vibe,

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Speaker 1: which would be another nineties moment, which is just like

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Speaker 1: always my go to. This is just really loud, great system.

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Speaker 1: No no, oh no, tribe, just tribe in the car

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Speaker 1: blast it right here. Yeah, god, I mean there's no

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Speaker 1: better fucking nuts, like can I kick it? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's true. That's an era. I mean it's just too good. Yeah. Well,

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Speaker 1: thank you for email. You got to give me one.

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Speaker 1: I just like, oh god, I didn't even I wasn't

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Speaker 1: even thinking, uh, you know what I love which is

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Speaker 1: a traveling song to me and you were married. I

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Speaker 1: do love that, but you were married to this man.

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Speaker 1: I love wiser time. Like there's something about that song. Ye,

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Speaker 1: that is traveling. It's on the road for me. I

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Speaker 1: just I don't know. Yeah, yeah, oh really loud. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: This was that they would So this was the part

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Speaker 1: in the show every time The Black Crows where we

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Speaker 1: would there was like a set of like three or

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Speaker 1: four songs that were always like that's where you go

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Speaker 1: out when you're on the road for a long time,

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Speaker 1: you skip a lot of songs, you know, yeah, great song.

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Speaker 1: And then and then Don Henley for me, like there's

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Speaker 1: something about like Boys of Summer, you know, yeah that

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Speaker 1: is nostalgic and that reminds me of driving down the beach.

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Speaker 1: Oh this is yeah, this is like this reminds me

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Speaker 1: of Muskoka, like in the boat. Yeah yeah, like you

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Speaker 1: know with U. Yeah, this is you know who loved this.

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Speaker 1: This is why this is Becca. This was on your

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Speaker 1: high school girlfriend put that on her mixtape to you. Yes,

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Speaker 1: And I know that because I stole it. That's right,

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Speaker 1: that's right. And then of course Bob Marley Legend the

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Speaker 1: whole album. Yeah, just throw that on and then just

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Speaker 1: just drive it. Just drive next to the ocean. Oh

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Speaker 1: so fun. Okay, cool fun. Thanks for the Memory Lane.

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Speaker 1: We should do a Spotifybling Revelry playlist for driving for

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Speaker 1: for free, for anxiety free moments. I love that. That's

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Speaker 1: a great idea. I've been thinking a lot about the

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Speaker 1: episode that we did with Lisa and Memory and I've

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Speaker 1: been writing down a lot more since we've had since

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Speaker 1: we had her on the podcast that I've been kind

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Speaker 1: of writing my day out. Not in a silly way,

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Speaker 1: not like I went and like drove to see like

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Speaker 1: my doctor, but I'm writing out. I'm putting down on

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Speaker 1: my phone things that happen in a day that are

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Speaker 1: either like funny or like interesting, things that Bing does

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Speaker 1: or Ronnie did or said, and it's really fun, and

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Speaker 1: then I kind of translate them at night. I just

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Speaker 1: write them in my sort of daily diary. And I

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Speaker 1: was looking back, I've been like a week of them,

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Speaker 1: and it's funny how quickly you forget oh yeah, like

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Speaker 1: like within like three days, I've forgot you know what

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Speaker 1: Rider had said, and then I looked at it. I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh, I would have never remembered it. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's kind of fun. Yeah, yeah, it's kind of fun

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Speaker 1: because for some reason, I've kept all my iPhones. I

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Speaker 1: don't know why. There's a drawer of them, but he

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Speaker 1: found probably because you're paranoid I have. I'm like paranoid.

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Speaker 1: He has an iPhone one, okay, And he found a

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Speaker 1: charger for it and plugged it in and it came

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Speaker 1: to life and there's all these fucking pictures from Oh May.

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Speaker 1: It was amazing and videos and stuff. It was it

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Speaker 1: was unreal. Did you jump it out into the Comac? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I gotta do that. I didn't know my hard drives

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Speaker 1: and stuff, but I got to go through all that stuff.

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Speaker 1: Well that's the thing too, It's it's just about. It

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Speaker 1: was almost easier back then when it was photos and

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Speaker 1: you went to the photo matt and now they're in

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Speaker 1: books and it's tangible. I have so much digital memory

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Speaker 1: everywhere around me, between digital VHS tapes, between many DV

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Speaker 1: tapes whatever, I don't know what, and then now we're

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Speaker 1: dealing with SD cards and this and that, and remember

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Speaker 1: the flip camera. Oh, I have one right here like this, dude,

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Speaker 1: Remember now I have that. Yeah, oh my god, I

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Speaker 1: can even have sitting right here by the way. I

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Speaker 1: had those when Bing was being born, we had like

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Speaker 1: flip cameras everywhere. Yeah, but it's I'm like scared. I

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Speaker 1: don't even know where they are. I don't even know

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Speaker 1: where it's on these and it's so overwhelming. It's like

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Speaker 1: I need to get everything in order in all of

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Speaker 1: these memories and pictures and videos, but it's so difficult.

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Speaker 1: I call it a digital cleanse. This is one thing

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Speaker 1: that I'm I'm like, it's the Maria condo. You do

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Speaker 1: the cleanse of the house, you do the cleanse of

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Speaker 1: the clothes, and then you got to do your digital cleanse.

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Speaker 1: And that's like, if you spend an hour a day

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Speaker 1: cleaning things out digitally, you would be surprised how much

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Speaker 1: you'd actually like. Even your emails. I have seventeen thousand unready. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is a great topic of conversation because Aaron has

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Speaker 1: six hundred thousand emails. You know how many I have

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Speaker 1: in my thing right now? Zero. It's you don't save anything.

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Speaker 1: It's the virgo in me. No no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: meaning if the ones that I read are there, but

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Speaker 1: all the bullshit ones I actually erase. I don't let

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Speaker 1: them just sit there, you know what I mean? Oh really,

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Speaker 1: oh no, no, no no. When you look at my

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Speaker 1: little blue email thing, there's no number on it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it feels amazing not me, And I'll let it get

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Speaker 1: to one hundred. Sometimes I'm like, oh god, all right, dude,

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Speaker 1: where's my phone. It's right there. Take it takes some

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Speaker 1: time and just erase, and then they get it gets clean,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, all right, we're back to zero. When

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Speaker 1: I finally have days that I don't have anything, which

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Speaker 1: is probably like not till I'm like about sixty. But

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Speaker 1: so I'll get to it. Ben No, but I want

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Speaker 1: to start doing like an hour of like photo cleansing,

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Speaker 1: going through my thing, deleting all photos that are like

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Speaker 1: shitty that I'll never use, Yeah, organizing where they go

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Speaker 1: you know. Ideeah it's a good that's a good stony

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Speaker 1: project too, by the way, Yeah, it is a good

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Speaker 1: stony Yeah it is. Because Rio takes my phone and

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Speaker 1: she's just filming shit. I'm like, what are you doing?

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Speaker 1: She's like moving the camera everywhere and filming everything and

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Speaker 1: it's just a waste. And I have a thousand videos

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Speaker 1: of that. The video of her wanting to send to

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Speaker 1: Emma Stone telling her how amazing she is. She's obsessed

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Speaker 1: with obsessed with Corolla. She saw it one time. I

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Speaker 1: watched it with her, and now it's on TV all

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Speaker 1: the time. Obsessed with emmastone. She just got her wig.

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Speaker 1: Came today and she put the thing on. She put

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Speaker 1: a mole on. And I mean, when Kate, when I

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Speaker 1: tell you that she embodies this character, it's crazy. I meant,

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Speaker 1: she will not break character. And anyway, she with Annie, right,

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Speaker 1: she took my phone. You's gonna have your phone. I

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Speaker 1: said sure, and I went in to do with Wilder

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Speaker 1: and she comes out and it's a video of her

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Speaker 1: wanting you to Emma Stone, wanting somehow for me to

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Speaker 1: get it to Emma Stone, because it's her saying how

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Speaker 1: much she loves her, and she's gonna be here for

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Speaker 1: Halloween and I love your acting and the whole thing.

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Speaker 1: She's like, You're just like she's like, You're like, I

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Speaker 1: just like love you and you're just such a good actress.

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Speaker 1: And Hi, I am a Rio Hudson. Hi Emma Stone.

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Speaker 1: I'm Rio Hudson, and I just want to say that.

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Speaker 1: I just think you're like so good, You're such a

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Speaker 1: good actress. And I know so of course, I text

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Speaker 1: Kate and I'm like, okay, do you know Emma Stone?

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Speaker 1: And you know I sent her the video because I've

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Speaker 1: got to. I've got to somehow get it to her.

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Speaker 1: I'll get it too, I'll get it to her. Well,

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Speaker 1: Emma Stone, I think religiously listens to sibling revelry, so

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Speaker 1: she should. She should know after hearing this, Emma, Emma,

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Speaker 1: code sibling. That's bolll and Brand dot com promo code Sibling. Hey,

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Speaker 1: Kate and Oliver love the podcast. I've been a subscriber

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Speaker 1: since the first episode and enjoying you too so much.

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Speaker 1: I live in a small Canadian town near Victoria, British

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Speaker 1: Columbia on Vancouver Island. I remember Victoria. I remember watching

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Speaker 1: Goldiehan filming Bird on Ohire in Victoria, maybe thirty years ago.

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Speaker 1: We were there. We were there, uh huh. It was

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Speaker 1: exciting to be watching a big Hollywood movie filming in

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Speaker 1: our little city. But what really stays with me about

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Speaker 1: that day was witnessing a warm, genuine family moment. Behind

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Speaker 1: all the busyness, the cameras and equipment. Off in a

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Speaker 1: quiet corner, in his oversized sweater, hat, glasses and those

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Speaker 1: unmistakable dimples was Kurt Russell, a few children running around

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Speaker 1: his knees as he quietly watched his wife at work.

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Speaker 1: I was a teenager then, but I remember thinking how

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Speaker 1: wonderfully normal the family seemed. Your family. Someone's working and

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Speaker 1: the other ones are supporting her, hanging out together. It

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Speaker 1: was so cool. Well, I mean, there's a chance that

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Speaker 1: could have been Mel Gibson and she was just having

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Speaker 1: a fair and we didn't know it. Noh, Mel doesn't

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Speaker 1: have those dimples. The closest person in the world to

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Speaker 1: me is my sister. I love that And by the way,

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Speaker 1: I remember being in Victoria very I remember that house,

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Speaker 1: how cool that house was, and we used to get

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Speaker 1: tutored in that window, that little nook. Yeah, I remember

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Speaker 1: the smell of that house. And then we had that

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Speaker 1: outside area and it was always so like green and beautiful. Uh.

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Speaker 1: The closest person in the world to me is my sister.

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Speaker 1: We speak the same language and our lives are completely entwined.

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Speaker 1: She's a year and a half younger than me. So

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Speaker 1: I thought I was the oldest sibling, but it turns

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Speaker 1: out I'm not. We just found out we have a

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Speaker 1: brother we never knew about before the pandemic. This guy

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00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,959
Speaker 1: reached out to us on Facebook. He was almost fifty

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Speaker 1: years old and looking for his father, our father. Of course,

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Speaker 1: our dad's not on social media, but he was able

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Speaker 1: to find my sister and I. This guy really looked

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Speaker 1: like young pictures of our dad. He also looked a

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Speaker 1: little like my son. Those familiar eyes in this stranger's

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Speaker 1: profile pick reeled us right in. We had to know more.

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Speaker 1: We went down a rabbit hole on this guy's Facebook page.

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Speaker 1: He's a major oversharer and he had a blog. A

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Speaker 1: lot of details were shared about his past and his

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Speaker 1: current situation of looking for his father. My sister and

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Speaker 1: I were up all night reading and texting each other.

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Speaker 1: His mom and our dad were together right out of

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Speaker 1: high school. They were in aged She got pregnant and

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Speaker 1: didn't tell him. She dumped him with no explanation, broke

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Speaker 1: our dad's heart. We never knew any of this about

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Speaker 1: our dad's life. Our brother was finally told the truth

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Speaker 1: before his mother passed away. She lied to him his

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Speaker 1: whole life, but before she died, she told him what

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00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 1: happened and who his real father was. He grew up

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Speaker 1: thinking his stepfather, who he never felt a connection to,

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Speaker 1: was his real father. We haven't had a chance to

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00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 1: do a real family reunion yet with him, but through

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00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 1: a pandemic, a DNA test was done by mail and

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00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:42,119
Speaker 1: it is confirmed a ninety nine point ninety six percent

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Speaker 1: positive result that my dad has a son and we

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Speaker 1: have a brother. Our father lives just over the border

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Speaker 1: in Washington State, but the border remains closed, so we

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00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 1: still haven't been able to be in the same physical

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Speaker 1: space as a family yet. We have had some very

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Speaker 1: funny big family zoom calls and the three of us

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Speaker 1: siblings have met in person. I also have another niece,

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Speaker 1: and I am in love with her beautiful personality. It's

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Speaker 1: a very interesting time for us. We always wanted a

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Speaker 1: brother growing up, specifically an older brother. Over the years,

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00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:17,280
Speaker 1: we had talked about that very thing. It's bittersweet though.

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00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,959
Speaker 1: On one hand, it's happy and exciting to have this

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00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 1: new family member. On one hand, it's happy and exciting

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00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:26,879
Speaker 1: to have this new family member, and on the other hand,

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Speaker 1: it's hard to reconcile the fact that we miss so

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Speaker 1: much time not knowing him until we were in our forties.

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Speaker 1: Sibling relationships grow into their own entities over the decades.

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00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 1: It's so much more than DNA. I don't know how

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Speaker 1: someone else fits in our thing just yet. I'm doing

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00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,640
Speaker 1: my best to just get to know my brother as

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Speaker 1: he is now and not try to think about all

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Speaker 1: the time lost. It's been a ride, for sure, and

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00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,720
Speaker 1: there's so much more to learn and know going forward.

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Speaker 1: We are just grateful for all of it. Thanks so

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00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,480
Speaker 1: much for doing what you do. It's so genuine and loving.

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00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:03,200
Speaker 1: Keep doing it. You are loved. Be well, Christy Purly,

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00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:07,360
Speaker 1: I love that well. There's so many things that yeah,

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00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 1: I mean, how many of us find out that we

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00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,720
Speaker 1: have a brother that was our sister that was adopted.

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00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:19,920
Speaker 1: Probably a lot. Yeah, that's a good statistic. Oh god,

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00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 1: imagine the amount of people who have siblings out there

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00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 1: who they have no idea about and probably never will know. Oh,

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00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 1: there's probably there's probably millions. Probably by the way, you

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00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 1: can get a knock on your door and some check

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00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:40,159
Speaker 1: could be like, hey, sorry, I just felt like you

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00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 1: might want to know that. I didn't want to bother

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00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:46,480
Speaker 1: you at this, but we have a kid. Like why

377
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:53,119
Speaker 1: I'd be like, no, I don't. I don't say that.

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00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:57,120
Speaker 1: That's terrible. Oh god, I can't even imagine. Yeah, that's

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00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 1: what a lot of men feel. It's different. Obviously I

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00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:03,280
Speaker 1: don't because I don't want that. Well, you know what

381
00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 1: I mean. I'm good boys have to make wise decisions,

382
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,479
Speaker 1: to be very very careful well erin. I mean, remember

383
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 1: that Aaron as my wife, and this is part of

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00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,040
Speaker 1: the reason I love her, because of her a wicked

385
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:20,159
Speaker 1: ass sense of Oh my god. I mean, I'll give

386
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 1: the short brief version of it, but I always messed

387
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:26,200
Speaker 1: with her, always fucking with her, and I always said

388
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,080
Speaker 1: to her, I said, you'll never get me because I'm

389
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 1: so aware of it. I'm because I'm always messing with people.

390
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:37,040
Speaker 1: And I come home and there's a Manila envelope and

391
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 1: I open it up and it's a paternity suit and

392
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,879
Speaker 1: it's got this girl's name on it, a girl who

393
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,480
Speaker 1: I was sleeping with in college. It's got the daughter.

394
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,680
Speaker 1: The timing everything works out. This is a real document.

395
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 1: I am freaking the fuck out. I have to go

396
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 1: right to the dentist. I'm calling mom on the way

397
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 1: to the dentist, like, Mom, I don't know what's going on.

398
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 1: I think I might have a kid. And she's like,

399
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:06,439
Speaker 1: she's like, what are you talking about. I'm like, I

400
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 1: got this paternity suit. And she was strangely calm and

401
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,080
Speaker 1: we hung up, and I'm thinking, maybe, like this has

402
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,960
Speaker 1: happened to Paw before, and I don't know why she's

403
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 1: so calm, but this is crazy life changing shit that's

404
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: going on. And I just started Dawson's Creak and it

405
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,760
Speaker 1: had just come out, so I'm thinking maybe someone's trying

406
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,760
Speaker 1: to like extort money from me, or I don't know,

407
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,679
Speaker 1: I'm trying to make an excuse. I get done with

408
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 1: the dentist. I haven't called Aaron yet. I'm driving down

409
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 1: Wilshier Boulevard. I call Aaron. I'm like, okay, babe, so

410
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 1: I gotta talk to you. Something has happened here. And

411
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,880
Speaker 1: she goes, well, what is it? You know? And I said, well,

412
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,680
Speaker 1: here's the thing, like I think I might be a father.

413
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 1: I got this paternity suit and it all matches up.

414
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,919
Speaker 1: I know the girl. The timing works. This is not

415
00:26:56,000 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 1: a fake document, it's you know. And she's just sitting there. No, no, no,

416
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:13,960
Speaker 1: I know, yeah, no, it's nice. And then she finally

417
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:19,159
Speaker 1: she goes, is so cruel? Oh good, gnarly, it's so gnarly.

418
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 1: Finally she goes, do you remember when you said that

419
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:26,879
Speaker 1: I would never get you? And I was so in

420
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,439
Speaker 1: my wrapped up in this and I'm like, yeah, but

421
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 1: what the fuck, Like I'm trying to tell you something

422
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,600
Speaker 1: serious right now. I didn't even think that she was

423
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:39,119
Speaker 1: about to drop a bomb. And by the way, it is,

424
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 1: I think it's April second at this time. Okay, Oh no, no, no, no,

425
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 1: it's March thirty first. Are the thirty one days in March?

426
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,679
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know the days. Yes, okay,

427
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 1: so it's March thirty first, and she goes, remember when

428
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 1: you said that I would never get you. And I'm like, yeah,

429
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,439
Speaker 1: but this has nothing to do with that. And then

430
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 1: she goes like April fools and I'm like, what the fuck,

431
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 1: It's not April Fools and she goes, I know, but

432
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:13,200
Speaker 1: your mother called because mom was in on it. But

433
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,880
Speaker 1: your mom called and was like, honey, you cannot keep

434
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 1: this going. Like he is in a fragile place, his

435
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:24,679
Speaker 1: dad wasn't there for him, like this is not cool.

436
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 1: So Aaron had to cut it off by a day. Funny, Oh, no,

437
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:35,360
Speaker 1: Mom gets worried about. Mom hates stuff like that. Oh

438
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 1: she does not like because and said, this is what

439
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do. Mom. I know he's going to call

440
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 1: my competitive thing just like family games. No, I know,

441
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 1: I know. And because just as Aaron had to call

442
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 1: mom because she and Aaron knew I would call my

443
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:54,600
Speaker 1: mother and I did, and Mom was so cavalier about it.

444
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:57,120
Speaker 1: I was like, something's up. She's like, oh, honey, I'm

445
00:28:57,160 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 1: sure it's nothing. It's fine, and don't worry about I'm like, what, Wow,

446
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:11,840
Speaker 1: this is real? Oh God, okay, my turn, my turn. Hi.

447
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 1: I just wanted to say I love the podcast. I've

448
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: admired you both for years, and you seem straight up

449
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 1: like the best friends everyone dreams of. Just finished the

450
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 1: Jesse White Shaun White podcast and loved it. I love

451
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:28,600
Speaker 1: that even when it's not people I'm familiar with, I

452
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,600
Speaker 1: can still relate to their stories and learn something and laugh.

453
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 1: Myself and my two sisters lost the heart of our

454
00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 1: family three years ago, our very own Goldie, my mama

455
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 1: caf the glue, the reason, and the gift. We've always

456
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:48,840
Speaker 1: been the closest of families, a true coven of witches.

457
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 1: Although our dad would replace that first letter, that's funny,

458
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 1: I didn't even that didn't hit me for a second.

459
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 1: Staying together as a family whilst navigating grief is a

460
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 1: true test of sisterhood. We've discussed often how grief tests

461
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 1: family bonds, and we've watched others navigate the same losses,

462
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 1: some more successfully and some less. Keep up up, keep

463
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 1: up the amazing work, and most importantly, I hope you

464
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: stay this close forever. If nothing else, As siblings, we

465
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 1: you can always say no one else has ever been

466
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 1: raised by your my parents and have the same childhood memories,

467
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,720
Speaker 1: and that is something to hold on to Stay safe,

468
00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 1: stay grateful, stay loving, nam or neam. I'm so mad.

469
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 1: I'm not getting that right, but thank you. I'd love this.

470
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry you lost your mama. That's just so hard. No,

471
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:59,080
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine what that feels like, or will

472
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:03,200
Speaker 1: feel like. It's a hard thing to even kind of,

473
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 1: you know, contemplate for us. But you know, it sounds

474
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 1: sad that you've got this amazing group. It's interesting though,

475
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:18,000
Speaker 1: how she talks about how, you know, grief tests, family bombs.

476
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 1: O know, it's it's you think you just sort of

477
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:26,040
Speaker 1: come together, which hopefully everybody does, but I guess sometimes

478
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 1: it can tear you apart. Oh my god, I was

479
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:32,760
Speaker 1: talking about this the other day. I mean, just think

480
00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 1: about the will alone, dealing with the whole life that

481
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,520
Speaker 1: you your parents have had, or your parent has had

482
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 1: and left behind, and the will and sometimes those things

483
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 1: can be so complicated. Who's going to do this, Who's

484
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:52,200
Speaker 1: going to go through this? We need to go through that.

485
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 1: I don't want to. I'm not ready for it. I mean,

486
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:58,040
Speaker 1: it's like there's just so much and people don't realize

487
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 1: how much goes into it, you know, And a lot

488
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:05,760
Speaker 1: of times I think wills should be discussed earlier, and

489
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 1: that while you're living, you know, you should everybody should

490
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 1: be on the same page to just avoid that part

491
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 1: so that you can actually really just just grieve. Yeah,

492
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 1: but like think about the moment where someone says something

493
00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:24,200
Speaker 1: and everybody's grieving and one sibling says something and you're like,

494
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:29,560
Speaker 1: that never happened. Well, it's such a sensitive Yeah, You're like,

495
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 1: why are you saying that that never happened? Like fighting,

496
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,680
Speaker 1: like you know, Oh, now you're going to be that person,

497
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,040
Speaker 1: like you know, mom or dad is gone and you're

498
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 1: just going to make up stories about them. Oh God,

499
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 1: creating a whole narrative here. I don't like it. I

500
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:48,480
Speaker 1: don't mean to do that. I'm just I'm just saying

501
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 1: that this would be something that you could see happening,

502
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 1: you know, especially especially in a big family. Okay, well,

503
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,160
Speaker 1: thank you for the email. Now I get this, I

504
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 1: get the sad warning one and I'm extremely sensitive right now,

505
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 1: let me see if I can do this you ready, Hey, guys,

506
00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 1: maybe I'll just read it upbeat. Hey guys, I was

507
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 1: a huge fan of both of you before you started

508
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 1: the podcast, but the podcast has just elevated my love

509
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:22,240
Speaker 1: for you. The way that you approach talking about how

510
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 1: important siblings, family dynamics, and relationships are is really unique.

511
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:28,080
Speaker 1: I think you've touched a lot of people and should

512
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 1: be very proud. I was listening to your podcast religiously

513
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 1: because I've always had a complicated relationship with my siblings.

514
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 1: As a middle child, my older sister struggled with alcoholism

515
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 1: and my younger brother struggled with epilepsy since he was

516
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:46,800
Speaker 1: two years old. I've had so many moments with both

517
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:49,080
Speaker 1: of them that have shaped who I am and how

518
00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 1: I deal with others. I like to think I'm empathetic

519
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:54,840
Speaker 1: and can try to look through the eyes of others,

520
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 1: and these two perspectives have truly changed me forever. Here

521
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:09,719
Speaker 1: we go, Allison, damn you Allison. Four months ago, I

522
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 1: lost my little brother to epilepsy. I guess s U

523
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:20,359
Speaker 1: d epiece that sud up sudden, unexplained death from epilepsy

524
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:22,280
Speaker 1: in the middle of the night. He had a seizure

525
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 1: so severe that he stopped breathing. It was always a possibility,

526
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:29,840
Speaker 1: but at the age of thirty, we always hoped he

527
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:33,719
Speaker 1: was past the risk years. Because if you look up

528
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 1: suddeup communities and who has been lost to It's a

529
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:43,560
Speaker 1: very young group. I've been dealing with the pure loss

530
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:50,880
Speaker 1: of such a beautiful human being and damn it, and

531
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 1: only recently it was you want me to do it? Yeah,

532
00:34:56,760 --> 00:35:00,800
Speaker 1: I guess so, Okay. I've been dealing with the pure

533
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:03,840
Speaker 1: loss of such a beautiful human being and only recently

534
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:07,320
Speaker 1: was able to start listening to your podcast again. Before

535
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,879
Speaker 1: it was just too emotionally triggering. I wanted to say

536
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,520
Speaker 1: thank you and express that for some reason, my ability

537
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:15,879
Speaker 1: to simply listen to you was a big tent poll

538
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 1: in my recovery. I appreciate what you do and I

539
00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:21,360
Speaker 1: hope that people are getting as much out of it

540
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:24,480
Speaker 1: as me. As a side note, I know you've been

541
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:27,040
Speaker 1: open to talking about drugs and its ability to heal

542
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:32,040
Speaker 1: and treat. My brother never responded well to typical pharmaceutical drugs.

543
00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 1: The only thing that started to work in his later

544
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 1: years was CBD. The pure CBD that people with epilepsy

545
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:45,160
Speaker 1: require is still very expensive and not very accessible through

546
00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:48,239
Speaker 1: traditional channels. We are in Canada, so things might be

547
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 1: different in the United States. We did a fundraiser after

548
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:54,759
Speaker 1: his death and raised twenty thousand dollars that will go

549
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 1: towards the study of CBD for uncontrolled epilepsy with the

550
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:02,399
Speaker 1: aim of getting it DA approved and more accessible for all.

551
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,680
Speaker 1: Love you both, and thank you. I hope you will

552
00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 1: continue this well into the new normal. Much love and respect, Emma. Nice. Wow, Emma,

553
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:18,360
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry you lost your bro. That's tough. J

554
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 1: That's tough. That shit gets me. Man. Yeah, I can't.

555
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 1: I can't. It's just so sad and and and your brother.

556
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 1: You know, I don't know, you just you just wonder,

557
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 1: like God, why do people have to get these things?

558
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:38,759
Speaker 1: You know, why can't we figure out how to fix it?

559
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:43,439
Speaker 1: And you know, science can do so much and then

560
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 1: yet you know, it's like I was just reading a

561
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:51,360
Speaker 1: story about a boy, a twin who was super young

562
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 1: like it, you know, like nine or something, and he

563
00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:01,160
Speaker 1: had the same thing, how to you know, epilepsy and

564
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:06,600
Speaker 1: passed away. It's just terrible. And I thank you for

565
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:09,879
Speaker 1: for reaching out Emma and sharing the story with us.

566
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,879
Speaker 1: And and also I think it is important to talk

567
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:16,880
Speaker 1: about CBD and how it's not something that is actually

568
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:21,720
Speaker 1: looked at as real treatment. It's looked at as alternative

569
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 1: type of treatments, so you can't get them a lot

570
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 1: of times those things aren't ensured. I don't know what

571
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:30,920
Speaker 1: that's like in the States. I'm I'm I'm with you

572
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 1: on that, Emma. I don't. I don't know, but I don't.

573
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 1: I don't either, And I don't know if it's FDA

574
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 1: approved or not. I haven't really looked into it, but

575
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:42,760
Speaker 1: I do know that it's CBD is magical for many people,

576
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 1: and amazing that it helped your brother so much. So

577
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 1: that's a that's a great as far as I'm concerned,

578
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:54,360
Speaker 1: a great thing to sort of be pushing for approved,

579
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:57,800
Speaker 1: you know, FDA approval. And thank you. Sorry I couldn't

580
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:00,359
Speaker 1: get through that. Thank you. Kate. Hi, I'm My name

581
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:03,600
Speaker 1: is Nikki from Ontario, Canada. Just started listening to your

582
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:07,840
Speaker 1: podcast Love It. I actually stumbled across Oliver's Instagram singing

583
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:10,440
Speaker 1: the Saturday song and it took me out of my

584
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:14,839
Speaker 1: bad mood. I'm a mom to nine kids, ages two

585
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 1: to eighteen. We have five girls and four boys, and

586
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 1: We've been really getting to know each other during this lockdown,

587
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:27,320
Speaker 1: and I'm excited to get back to normal and school. Lol.

588
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:29,840
Speaker 1: I love my kids and they get along for the

589
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 1: most part. It's nice to see my older kids really

590
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:35,440
Speaker 1: helping out with the little ones. I've been waiting eighteen

591
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:38,560
Speaker 1: years for that, So glad it's finally here. I'm a

592
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,120
Speaker 1: forever listener now and I love the chemistry you two

593
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:46,960
Speaker 1: have makes me hopeful. Yay, this is so funny. Nine kids,

594
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 1: Oh my god? What that? Wow, that's just insane. Two

595
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 1: to eighteen, like you're never out of the woods in

596
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,640
Speaker 1: a lockdown. Well that's me. I'm two to eighteen. By

597
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:03,879
Speaker 1: the way, I'm two to seventeen, right. But she's got,

598
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 1: she's got, she's got six more. Yeah. Wow, I love it.

599
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:12,399
Speaker 1: I'd love to know more about that. Are they all

600
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:16,120
Speaker 1: like same dad, same thing? How old is she? How

601
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 1: old Nikki feels like? I feel like it's all the same,

602
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:23,839
Speaker 1: feels the same. Well, I'm so happy that we've been

603
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:29,440
Speaker 1: able to you know, yeah, keep lockdown experience with you

604
00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 1: and keep listening because I do more singing on my Instagram.

605
00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:38,160
Speaker 1: It's it's it's my outlet. I'm just trying to show

606
00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:43,799
Speaker 1: people the real talents. That's so funny. Hi there, Kate,

607
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:48,880
Speaker 1: Oliver and Alison. Alison gets a shower. I decided to

608
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:51,439
Speaker 1: write in because I started listening to your podcast last

609
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:54,399
Speaker 1: July coincidentally right around the same time that my sister

610
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:58,600
Speaker 1: and I became estranged from each other. I'm the youngest

611
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:00,600
Speaker 1: of three kids. I have a brother who nine years

612
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:02,840
Speaker 1: older than me, and a sister who is six years

613
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:07,760
Speaker 1: older than me. Being the little sister by a decent

614
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 1: sized age gap, I was not incredibly close with either

615
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 1: one because I was viewed as the annoying baby's sister.

616
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:17,280
Speaker 1: When I was twelve, our dad passed away from cancer.

617
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 1: One good thing that came out of this lost grief

618
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 1: was that it pushed all three of us closer together

619
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 1: than ever before. However, as years passed, my sister and

620
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:30,080
Speaker 1: I had a hard time remaining close as adults because

621
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:32,920
Speaker 1: she stepped into the other parent role until I went

622
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 1: to college. I struggled to share and let her in,

623
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:39,919
Speaker 1: and she struggled to listen without judgment. I am lucky

624
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:41,719
Speaker 1: that my older brother and I are close and see

625
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 1: each other often, but my sister lives in Hawaii and

626
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 1: we haven't seen each other much since I was in

627
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:50,800
Speaker 1: middle school. Wow. She is now married with a fifteen

628
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:53,120
Speaker 1: month old baby girl, who I've yet to meet because

629
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 1: of COVID and the long distance between us. Twenty hours

630
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:59,439
Speaker 1: of travel time. My sister and I had a fight

631
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 1: on the phone in August on the ten year anniversary

632
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 1: of our dad's death and haven't spoken since, despite my

633
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 1: attempts to reach out and repair our relationship. Your recent

634
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 1: podcast featuring doctor Carl Pillimer made me feel less anxious

635
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,640
Speaker 1: and less alone about struggling with a form of estrangement.

636
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:18,920
Speaker 1: I even bought his book and read it cover to

637
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:21,120
Speaker 1: cover to try and learn something from the other people

638
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 1: who deal with this type of emotional weight. I discovered

639
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:27,000
Speaker 1: that this affects millions of people, and I should be

640
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 1: grateful for my closeness with my brother and my mom.

641
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:32,239
Speaker 1: It makes me happy and sad at the same time

642
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:35,120
Speaker 1: to listen to how close and cute your sibling relationship is.

643
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:39,200
Speaker 1: Each episode. I am encouraged by your closeness to one another,

644
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:42,319
Speaker 1: to work on myself and to strive to get the

645
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:45,879
Speaker 1: band back together again. I miss my sister and hope

646
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:47,799
Speaker 1: she knows how much I love her and think about her.

647
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 1: Please don't stop doing what you are both doing with

648
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:53,800
Speaker 1: this podcast, because I think you are helping more people

649
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:56,800
Speaker 1: than you even know by sharing your family with your listeners.

650
00:41:57,239 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 1: With lots of love, and thankfulness and and I love

651
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:04,840
Speaker 1: that so much. Thank you for sharing that with me.

652
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,480
Speaker 1: I just want to say, like when I'm when I'm

653
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:10,840
Speaker 1: thinking what I love. The best thing about that email

654
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:14,280
Speaker 1: is you talking about how you can work on yourself

655
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:16,400
Speaker 1: to make those things happen, because I think that a

656
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 1: lot of times we feel like it's like everybody else's issue.

657
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:24,520
Speaker 1: And you know, my therapist said to me one time,

658
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:29,880
Speaker 1: He's like, you know, you you change. The more you change,

659
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 1: the more you can see how other people respond. And

660
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:38,040
Speaker 1: the more we work on ourselves, the more we can

661
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 1: see differently kind of the sort of dynamic and the

662
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:46,840
Speaker 1: experiences that we're either you know, a part of or creating,

663
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 1: and and and at some point, you know, maybe it's

664
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,799
Speaker 1: just time, or maybe it's just the right kind of

665
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 1: conversation at the right time. But my hope is that

666
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 1: the more that you work on yourself, that your sister

667
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:09,279
Speaker 1: will want to continue to hopefully, you know, reconnect. M M.

668
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 1: And I'm glad that that podcast with doctor Carl gave

669
00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:16,960
Speaker 1: you some perspective too. It's grateful for the relationships that

670
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 1: you have too. You know, I think that's the hard

671
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 1: thing is we can't control other people right. We wish

672
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:27,479
Speaker 1: we could control them and tell them like, ye see,

673
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 1: I want you to know I love you and can't

674
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:32,400
Speaker 1: you see this this way? And can't you what the

675
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 1: fuck like? And we wish we could actually make it different.

676
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 1: But at some point, you know, you realize you just

677
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:43,000
Speaker 1: have to let go, and you know the will let

678
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,840
Speaker 1: go and let God and and and hope that it

679
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:50,680
Speaker 1: actually comes back and you can reconnect at some point.

680
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,200
Speaker 1: But it sounds like you've your mom and your brother

681
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 1: and and hopefully that will help you know that you

682
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,880
Speaker 1: have that connection and there's still time. A lot of

683
00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 1: things can happen. Square Space is basically a one stop

684
00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:19,319
Speaker 1: shop to success, Okay. Squarespace empowers millions of dreamers and

685
00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 1: makers and doers and they give them the tools they

686
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:26,760
Speaker 1: need to bring their ideas to life. So we've actually

687
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:31,719
Speaker 1: been using square space for a while now, Alison. I

688
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 1: think Alison actually designed the Sibling Revelry website through them,

689
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:39,839
Speaker 1: and it's super easy. I've actually went on them one time.

690
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: I remember I had this idea, this is years ago,

691
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 1: for a company, and I was like, I need to

692
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:49,400
Speaker 1: see how you build a website, and I found square

693
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:52,760
Speaker 1: Space and I went on I actually did the trial,

694
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:57,959
Speaker 1: and I built this sort of fake website. And if

695
00:44:58,080 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 1: I can do it, anybody can do it. On Squarespace.

696
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 1: It's this one stop shop to creating a brand for

697
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 1: your business, and not just their world class designs, which,

698
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 1: by the way, their designs are incredible, they're beautiful. But

699
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:21,399
Speaker 1: it's an all in one. So it's domains right, it's websites,

700
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:26,839
Speaker 1: online stores, marketing tools, analytics. So you sign onto Squarespace,

701
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:29,680
Speaker 1: you use Squarespace and it's all right there for you

702
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:34,320
Speaker 1: to navigate. I love that you have. You know, the ability,

703
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 1: you can customize the look, customize your feel, your settings,

704
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:42,040
Speaker 1: products and more and it just takes a few clicks.

705
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:45,839
Speaker 1: It's pretty. It's very simple, super straightforward. When you create

706
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:50,040
Speaker 1: a website with Squarespace, you get free, unlimited hosting, top

707
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:53,680
Speaker 1: of the line security, and dependable resources to help you succeed.

708
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:57,399
Speaker 1: It's awesome. We love Squarespace. So go to squarespace dot

709
00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:00,399
Speaker 1: com slash sibling for a free trial, and when you're

710
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:03,960
Speaker 1: ready to launch, use the offer code sibling to save

711
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:06,960
Speaker 1: ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain.

712
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:17,840
Speaker 1: Olive in June so excited to tell you about Olive

713
00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:20,800
Speaker 1: and June. This is the Manny system. It's the answer

714
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:25,759
Speaker 1: to salon perfect nails at home. Yeah, I mean, I

715
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:29,839
Speaker 1: can imagine doing a manicure on your own. You're never

716
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:31,120
Speaker 1: going to get it the way that you want it.

717
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:32,360
Speaker 1: You're never going to get it the way that it

718
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:34,759
Speaker 1: looks like in a salon. But that's going to change.

719
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:36,880
Speaker 1: That's going to change with Olive in June. It is

720
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:41,160
Speaker 1: salon worthy. So you know, it may seem odd for

721
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 1: me to be talking about a Manny system, but I

722
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 1: do have a beautiful wife and I have a beautiful

723
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:52,000
Speaker 1: eight year old daughter who have used the Manny system,

724
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:55,439
Speaker 1: specifically my daughter because she loves doing her nails as

725
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 1: my wife does as well. But the polish looks incredible,

726
00:46:58,200 --> 00:46:59,920
Speaker 1: I mean at least from me. I mean from my

727
00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 1: They created a system with all the tools you need

728
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:05,880
Speaker 1: in one box. The polish. It lasts up to seven

729
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:10,239
Speaker 1: plus days, it does not chip, it's five steps, and

730
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:12,920
Speaker 1: it comes with poppy. This is a patented brush handle

731
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 1: that makes it easy to paint with both of your hands.

732
00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:19,280
Speaker 1: So this is like a one stop shop Manny situation.

733
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:23,440
Speaker 1: We love it. I was looking at somebody's Instagram the

734
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:25,920
Speaker 1: other day and They had all these like cute decals too,

735
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:28,640
Speaker 1: so Olive in June check them out. It's an at

736
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:32,960
Speaker 1: home Manny system that comes out to just two dollars.

737
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:35,920
Speaker 1: Your new nail Life is here, so get twenty percent

738
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:38,720
Speaker 1: off your first Manni system when you use promo code

739
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:43,840
Speaker 1: Sibling at Olive and June dot Com. We're done with

740
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 1: expensive bad mannies. This is the new US. Okay, second email. Hi,

741
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:56,800
Speaker 1: They're obsessed with both Kate and Oliver and your series.

742
00:47:56,840 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 1: I'm thirty five year old twin fraternal twin. We have

743
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:03,440
Speaker 1: a thirty three year old brother who was born blind, Brian.

744
00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:07,799
Speaker 1: Our story isn't complicated but perhaps inspiring. Short version. Both

745
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:11,320
Speaker 1: of our parents struggled with addiction and alcoholism depression as well.

746
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 1: My mom raised us and did a phenomenal job. I

747
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:18,000
Speaker 1: always felt hold on. They started whoever, I don't know

748
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 1: what their name is yet, but they said our story

749
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:25,480
Speaker 1: isn't complicated, but perhaps inspiring. Short version. Our parents struggle

750
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 1: with addiction and alcoholism, a depression. I mean, isn't that complicated? Yeah,

751
00:48:32,200 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 1: but maybe there's a I mean that sounds complicated. I

752
00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 1: mean right, its complicated, complicated? I mean, you know, wow, right,

753
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:47,080
Speaker 1: it's amazing that you can think that that's not complicated.

754
00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:48,520
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see where the rest of us are.

755
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:51,440
Speaker 1: I wish Jesus, I know if I Oh, God, I know,

756
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 1: I know, I wish I wouldn't. This is I'm in.

757
00:48:56,320 --> 00:49:06,000
Speaker 1: I'm hooked. God. I wonder what complicated means for this person? Well, anyway,

758
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:08,920
Speaker 1: I know she's okay. So my mom raised us and

759
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:11,600
Speaker 1: did a phenomenal job. We always felt and knew we

760
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:14,440
Speaker 1: were loved. When my sister and I hit our mid teens,

761
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 1: our mom went downhill with drug and alcohol. Drug and

762
00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:22,000
Speaker 1: alcohol use and parenting wasn't that great anymore. But the

763
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,680
Speaker 1: structure and bones had been instilled in us, and we

764
00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:28,759
Speaker 1: had amazing grandparents. I moved out right before I graduated

765
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:31,759
Speaker 1: high school, and my sister moved out at nineteen to

766
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 1: North Carolina to live with my dad. My brother stayed

767
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:37,000
Speaker 1: because he was in his late teens and our home

768
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 1: was all he knew. My mom spiraled and my brother

769
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,919
Speaker 1: moved his room to the basement to get away from her.

770
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:46,600
Speaker 1: She could be nasty and it was a very unhealthy environment.

771
00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:50,920
Speaker 1: Brian got a job after high school and survived. We

772
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 1: have a stepdad who we were all thankful for, but

773
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:55,640
Speaker 1: he didn't play much of a role in all that.

774
00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:59,960
Speaker 1: And all that happened. My dad committed suicide in February

775
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:03,279
Speaker 1: two thousand and nine and my mom died February twenty ten.

776
00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:05,920
Speaker 1: I moved to North Carolina to be with my sister

777
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:08,719
Speaker 1: in two thousand and nine after my dad died, and

778
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:11,239
Speaker 1: that was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

779
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 1: We have a closeness and bond. I could never explain

780
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:17,920
Speaker 1: in words, probably unhealthy, how much I depend on her. Lol.

781
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:21,239
Speaker 1: We have finally got our brother to move here to

782
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:25,080
Speaker 1: North Carolina after twelve years of trying. He belongs with us.

783
00:50:25,680 --> 00:50:28,799
Speaker 1: He will be here next week. Actually, he's terrified as

784
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:31,719
Speaker 1: he is leaving all he has ever known, and that's

785
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 1: a little more intense when you don't have one of

786
00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 1: your senses. He's strong and will be fine, and my

787
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:41,360
Speaker 1: sister and I are ecstatic. We are all successful, happy adults.

788
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:43,279
Speaker 1: Our sense of humor is great. If I do say

789
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:46,080
Speaker 1: so myself, I think it's a great testament to having

790
00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:48,720
Speaker 1: a shitty hand dealt to you, and that it shouldn't

791
00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:51,239
Speaker 1: define you and your choices, and it hasn't for the

792
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 1: three of us best, Carla Ough. That is inspiring. That

793
00:50:56,760 --> 00:51:03,400
Speaker 1: is so inspiring, but it is also sure it's not complicated,

794
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:09,279
Speaker 1: but it is extremely inspiring. I think what's so interesting

795
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:13,920
Speaker 1: is that she's saying that the foundation was there, but

796
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:17,400
Speaker 1: what a sad thing to see it kind of fall apart,

797
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:24,760
Speaker 1: you know, God, addiction is just so gnarly. Just breaks

798
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 1: my heart. It breaks my heart because it just takes

799
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:33,319
Speaker 1: a hold. It's just it's like, I don't know, I've seen,

800
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:36,040
Speaker 1: I've just I guess, I guess, because I mean, I'm

801
00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:39,720
Speaker 1: really grateful knock on wood that nobody in our family

802
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:45,640
Speaker 1: has really struggled with addiction, you know, but I'm very

803
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:49,200
Speaker 1: close to many who have and continue to. Yeah, but

804
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:52,319
Speaker 1: they just fight, man, It's that fucking fight. It's that

805
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:56,520
Speaker 1: human instinct to survive and to be the best of you,

806
00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:59,640
Speaker 1: to be the best you can be, and and and

807
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:02,560
Speaker 1: you need each other. And that's what's great too. You know,

808
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:05,239
Speaker 1: they brought their brother over after that much time, and

809
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:09,319
Speaker 1: now they're a trio living in North Carolina and living

810
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 1: the best that they can after having been through all

811
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:15,080
Speaker 1: of that. I mean, shit, it's so great that it's inspiring,

812
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:17,799
Speaker 1: it's really amazing and I'm worried that I, you know,

813
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:22,719
Speaker 1: can't get a job. Jesus, Yeah, yeah, really, I mean

814
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:26,120
Speaker 1: it does put things into perspective, these emails, It really does.

815
00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 1: You know. I'm a very lucky person, very grateful, you know,

816
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:32,319
Speaker 1: you got to be reminded of it, though sometimes I

817
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 1: feel like I feel like the brother. I mean, that's

818
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:38,319
Speaker 1: that's also a really interesting thing, you know, because when

819
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:43,000
Speaker 1: you're born blind and just in your familiar settings, that

820
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 1: kind of transition to then move someplace that's completely new

821
00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:53,200
Speaker 1: and foreign must be really really challenging and nerve wracking.

822
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 1: You know, it probably becomes by rote you know, you

823
00:52:57,640 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 1: actually have, you physically experience just surroundings, so it's easier

824
00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:04,759
Speaker 1: to be mobile. But imagine moving to a whole nother

825
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:09,000
Speaker 1: fucking place. I mean, that's scott to be gnarly and

826
00:53:09,120 --> 00:53:13,120
Speaker 1: a real decision, you know, But good for them. I

827
00:53:13,160 --> 00:53:16,240
Speaker 1: really love when people who have, really, like he said,

828
00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 1: been dealt that kind of really shitty hand, define who

829
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:24,680
Speaker 1: they are for themselves, not by the hand that they

830
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:29,840
Speaker 1: were dealt. You know. M I sometimes wonder I'd be

831
00:53:30,239 --> 00:53:32,600
Speaker 1: intrigued to kind of look into this further. I mean,

832
00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:34,480
Speaker 1: I have, in my own way I've read a lot

833
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:38,960
Speaker 1: of books about these things, especially addiction. I wonder where

834
00:53:39,040 --> 00:53:42,279
Speaker 1: that comes from, if that's nature or nurture, you know.

835
00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:48,359
Speaker 1: I wonder if your ability to sort of see past, like, like,

836
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 1: what is it that I mean? I guess there's there's

837
00:53:50,200 --> 00:53:53,000
Speaker 1: a survival mechanism, but what is it that allows a

838
00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:57,480
Speaker 1: person to actually be able to see redefine their life

839
00:53:57,480 --> 00:54:02,600
Speaker 1: and not carry the burden? M hm, you know, yeah,

840
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:07,320
Speaker 1: I mean it is. I love it so differently email.

841
00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:10,400
Speaker 1: Thank you Carla for writing in. Hi Ali, I'm a

842
00:54:10,400 --> 00:54:13,399
Speaker 1: longtime listener of your podcast, Love Love Love Love Love

843
00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:16,480
Speaker 1: You and Kate. I've heard you mentioned about withdrawing from

844
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:20,000
Speaker 1: lexapro recently and couldn't help but reach out. I never

845
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:22,600
Speaker 1: do this, but I can't not. I'm sure you've done

846
00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:26,080
Speaker 1: your research, but in case you haven't, Ssri, I, withdrawal

847
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,600
Speaker 1: is a very real thing. I've attempted to come off

848
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:33,400
Speaker 1: my lexapro four times now, having to always reinstate. I

849
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 1: am currently one year into my current weaning. One year

850
00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:40,879
Speaker 1: into weaning to not take me that long, Maybe that's

851
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:44,080
Speaker 1: my problem. I started at ten milligrams and I am

852
00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:48,400
Speaker 1: now at two point six, so I was at twenty

853
00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:50,879
Speaker 1: milligrams and got to two point five and then went

854
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:53,560
Speaker 1: and then went off of it. I didn't wean past

855
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:56,160
Speaker 1: two point five, and it took me, I don't know,

856
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:59,640
Speaker 1: two months, and she's I don't know, it's a sheery,

857
00:54:59,840 --> 00:55:02,800
Speaker 1: but you know they're into it. It's already been a

858
00:55:02,880 --> 00:55:06,640
Speaker 1: year in anyway, I've learned everything I'm doing at the

859
00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 1: moment from Surviving Antidepressants dot org and Laura Delano from

860
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:15,040
Speaker 1: her Inner Compass initiative. It can be a bit of

861
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:17,360
Speaker 1: a rabbit hole once you look into this stuff. I

862
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 1: take it all with a grain of salt, take what

863
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:21,319
Speaker 1: I need and leave the rest. When I hear you

864
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:24,000
Speaker 1: talk about your current anxiety, I can't help but relate.

865
00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:27,120
Speaker 1: During one of my withdrawal attempts, I was at every

866
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 1: doctor known demand, convinced something was wrong with just about

867
00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 1: every organ in my body. Oh gosh, the second I

868
00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:40,719
Speaker 1: went back on my medication, it all went away. Anyways,

869
00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:43,040
Speaker 1: to keep this short, I hear you and relate so

870
00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:46,200
Speaker 1: so so much, And there are so many other others

871
00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:48,759
Speaker 1: who do as well. Medication has its place, but many

872
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:51,759
Speaker 1: people have also been damaged by its use. We need

873
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:54,399
Speaker 1: more focus and support now more than ever on how

874
00:55:54,440 --> 00:55:56,719
Speaker 1: to safely get people who want to come off their

875
00:55:56,760 --> 00:56:01,880
Speaker 1: medications off. A researcher psychiator Mark Horowitz, issued a research

876
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:05,400
Speaker 1: paper on safe at deep prescribing. So we are getting

877
00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:09,440
Speaker 1: there anyways. I don't expect to hear back you did.

878
00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:14,440
Speaker 1: All I hope is that this message reaches you. It did.

879
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:19,000
Speaker 1: All my love and sincerest, healing energy your way. I

880
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:23,680
Speaker 1: love that love that much. Yeah, I mean it's really true,

881
00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:25,960
Speaker 1: isn't it, Because you know, we we have the It's like,

882
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:30,640
Speaker 1: you know, it's easy to medicate, but you know, you

883
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:33,280
Speaker 1: don't want to stay on these medicaid depending on obviously

884
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:37,399
Speaker 1: what your situation is. For a lot of people, they

885
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:40,279
Speaker 1: go on anxiety medication, but you know, want to wean

886
00:56:40,360 --> 00:56:43,120
Speaker 1: themselves off of it or go on it to do

887
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:46,400
Speaker 1: some work, and then the idea is to get weaned

888
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:49,880
Speaker 1: off of it. You know, yes, yes, I agree, And

889
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:52,279
Speaker 1: I just I personally was just on it, you know,

890
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:55,319
Speaker 1: too long. It's like five years and just popping the pill,

891
00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:58,120
Speaker 1: pop in the pill, doing that every night. And when

892
00:56:58,360 --> 00:57:00,600
Speaker 1: you know, I personally and this is only my personal

893
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:05,400
Speaker 1: you know, it's dealing with my personal issues in my chemistry.

894
00:57:05,760 --> 00:57:08,200
Speaker 1: I didn't need this to be or I don't think

895
00:57:08,239 --> 00:57:11,640
Speaker 1: I need it to be sort of a lifelong drug.

896
00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:14,239
Speaker 1: Some people do, there's no doubt about that. But for

897
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:16,160
Speaker 1: me it was to sort of get right, to get

898
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:20,120
Speaker 1: in therapy, really get into sort of myself. It allowed

899
00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:22,600
Speaker 1: me to sort of open up a little bit more

900
00:57:22,960 --> 00:57:26,880
Speaker 1: without having the anxiety of just life and then and

901
00:57:26,880 --> 00:57:28,640
Speaker 1: then it's time to wean off. But I just sort of,

902
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:31,800
Speaker 1: I don't know, just kept popping the twenty kin kink

903
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:35,680
Speaker 1: kin kink and kink. You know. It's like Jay Cole says,

904
00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:39,840
Speaker 1: you don't want to medicate, you got to meditate. I'm

905
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:44,000
Speaker 1: down with that, But I also you know, I also

906
00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:49,400
Speaker 1: do ungrateful for the medication that oh gosh, without a doubt,

907
00:57:49,440 --> 00:57:53,560
Speaker 1: I would never rail against that. You know. I like science.

908
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:56,560
Speaker 1: I think these drugs are amazing. They do amazing things

909
00:57:56,600 --> 00:58:01,560
Speaker 1: for people, no doubt about it, none at all. All. Right,

910
00:58:01,560 --> 00:58:05,560
Speaker 1: shall we answer one last question? Yes, So the question

911
00:58:05,680 --> 00:58:09,240
Speaker 1: is from a listener who said, I love the relationship.

912
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:11,920
Speaker 1: You two have a siblings. So here's my question for

913
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:15,400
Speaker 1: you too, If you had to give advice to yourselves

914
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:19,400
Speaker 1: looking back that could help grow your sibling relationship for

915
00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:27,720
Speaker 1: the future. What would it be ooh ooh, it's a

916
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:29,920
Speaker 1: good question. I mean, I guess it depends how far

917
00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:39,360
Speaker 1: back we're going. Mine would probably just be more communicative,

918
00:58:40,400 --> 00:58:45,240
Speaker 1: expressing how I feel, talking to you more, including you

919
00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:50,480
Speaker 1: more in my life and my ups and downs of things. Yeah, yeah,

920
00:58:50,520 --> 00:58:53,760
Speaker 1: communication is good. I mean I like that. Yeah, I

921
00:58:53,800 --> 00:59:00,520
Speaker 1: think it would be. It's a hard thing because I again,

922
00:59:00,720 --> 00:59:04,400
Speaker 1: this like leans towards something that something that I have

923
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:06,640
Speaker 1: to I had to work on, or would have had

924
00:59:06,720 --> 00:59:12,400
Speaker 1: to work on. Which is that instead of feeling rejected

925
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:17,160
Speaker 1: by you all the time, that I didn't personalize the rejection,

926
00:59:17,560 --> 00:59:20,640
Speaker 1: even though you made it very hard not to personalize it.

927
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:25,400
Speaker 1: But but I think that I think that trying to

928
00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:31,640
Speaker 1: find a way or honestly working with our family differently,

929
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:35,560
Speaker 1: so that yeah, that sense of and I would say

930
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:38,440
Speaker 1: specific to you and I too, that there was a gap,

931
00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:40,720
Speaker 1: you know, when you were working and married and there

932
00:59:40,760 --> 00:59:43,160
Speaker 1: was a separation of sorts. I guess, you know, if

933
00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:46,200
Speaker 1: I was to give myself advice back then, it would

934
00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:50,960
Speaker 1: be like, well, you know, I keep in touch, stay connected.

935
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:55,240
Speaker 1: But I guess that's just part of life, I guess,

936
00:59:55,480 --> 00:59:58,040
Speaker 1: you know, I mean, I don't know, Yeah, I mean

937
00:59:58,080 --> 01:00:01,320
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, but I think that part of the

938
01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:04,880
Speaker 1: issue for us was the fact that we didn't have

939
01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:07,920
Speaker 1: a tight bond when we were young. We had we

940
01:00:07,960 --> 01:00:10,920
Speaker 1: worked together. I mean we were like, but like, it

941
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:16,520
Speaker 1: wasn't it wasn't you know, you didn't ever want me around.

942
01:00:17,640 --> 01:00:19,959
Speaker 1: Then you went to college and then we like hung

943
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:22,000
Speaker 1: out and partied and had fun and we were together

944
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:25,880
Speaker 1: and we and we got closer. And then I got

945
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:28,160
Speaker 1: married and I was working and we were it was whatever.

946
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:31,560
Speaker 1: And then and then that time for me, you know,

947
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:36,560
Speaker 1: was just sort of starting my own thing. Yeah, but

948
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:38,360
Speaker 1: it wasn't even that long. I mean, think about it,

949
01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:41,040
Speaker 1: Like I was back in LA by the time I

950
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:43,840
Speaker 1: was twenty four. I had rider, so I was like

951
01:00:43,960 --> 01:00:46,440
Speaker 1: in LA and I mean I traveled a lot, but

952
01:00:46,480 --> 01:00:51,440
Speaker 1: I was home. Yeah, but I think you're right. I

953
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:53,880
Speaker 1: think keeping me in a question, yeah, no, I think

954
01:00:54,040 --> 01:00:57,720
Speaker 1: I think honestly, what would have shifted and made our

955
01:00:57,800 --> 01:01:03,080
Speaker 1: relationship different or advice that we would give to ourselves

956
01:01:03,080 --> 01:01:05,560
Speaker 1: would be would be probably. I mean I hate, I

957
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:07,680
Speaker 1: mean I hate to put it like on you like this,

958
01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:12,760
Speaker 1: but for all of our to be more accepting of me,

959
01:01:13,760 --> 01:01:16,560
Speaker 1: you know, when I was younger, like brought me in,

960
01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:21,080
Speaker 1: would bring me in more and uh and nicer. I

961
01:01:21,120 --> 01:01:27,240
Speaker 1: mean mm hmmm, yeah, I know. Well we've talked about this,

962
01:01:27,520 --> 01:01:31,200
Speaker 1: like I how could I have been? I was almost weird.

963
01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:34,200
Speaker 1: I was a weird myself. I know. No, I know,

964
01:01:34,360 --> 01:01:37,640
Speaker 1: but but it's not like we didn't have like a huge,

965
01:01:37,640 --> 01:01:41,320
Speaker 1: a crazy bond, you know, like when you think about it,

966
01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:44,760
Speaker 1: it's like we did so much together. But then yes,

967
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:48,520
Speaker 1: when we were sort of home and I don't know,

968
01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:50,600
Speaker 1: there was always like a push pull there's always a

969
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:54,160
Speaker 1: lot of rejection from you. Well that was a great

970
01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:58,320
Speaker 1: that's a very good question. I like that question. I

971
01:01:58,360 --> 01:02:01,360
Speaker 1: could have probably for my self, if I'm thinking about it,

972
01:02:01,400 --> 01:02:06,680
Speaker 1: I could have kind of can't wait for this, this

973
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:10,040
Speaker 1: is long pregnant positive. Well no, no, no, I'm just

974
01:02:10,080 --> 01:02:14,320
Speaker 1: thinking about I'm just thinking about my reactions to those

975
01:02:14,320 --> 01:02:16,920
Speaker 1: things and like not having not having the reaction. But

976
01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:21,240
Speaker 1: I could have had more. And I was I was

977
01:02:21,800 --> 01:02:24,560
Speaker 1: a fighter by nature, Like my nature was to like

978
01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:31,080
Speaker 1: bust my way through versus just being like, oh, you're mean,

979
01:02:31,200 --> 01:02:33,440
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go sit in my room by myself.

980
01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:38,000
Speaker 1: Like m It's like I know, but I but but

981
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:42,800
Speaker 1: but I probably could have learned to just not be.

982
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:48,040
Speaker 1: So it's hard to reflect on these things. We're so young,

983
01:02:48,400 --> 01:02:53,440
Speaker 1: and honestly, it everything led us to where we are now.

984
01:02:53,560 --> 01:02:57,120
Speaker 1: So there's not much I would change necessarily. It's an

985
01:02:57,240 --> 01:03:02,800
Speaker 1: interesting reflection, but I don't have any regrets. I wouldn't

986
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:04,440
Speaker 1: have done it any differently. I didn't know. I wouldn't

987
01:03:04,440 --> 01:03:06,320
Speaker 1: even know how to do it any differently at the time.

988
01:03:07,280 --> 01:03:12,600
Speaker 1: You know, we're evolving, constantly shifting. I like what you're

989
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:15,520
Speaker 1: saying about communication as we got older. I think maybe

990
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:19,320
Speaker 1: in the twenties and our twenties, yes, yes, stronger communicator,

991
01:03:19,320 --> 01:03:22,400
Speaker 1: but we didn't have like fucking FaceTime and phones and shit.

992
01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:25,760
Speaker 1: We had like flip phones that was like two thousand

993
01:03:26,120 --> 01:03:29,920
Speaker 1: to two thousand and five. We had like our little

994
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:33,919
Speaker 1: Nokias and black like BlackBerry was like two thousand and five,

995
01:03:34,040 --> 01:03:38,000
Speaker 1: right or something four God remember, so like that era

996
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:40,240
Speaker 1: was kind of old school. We would have had to

997
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:42,600
Speaker 1: like fax each other or call each other on our

998
01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:45,960
Speaker 1: flip phone. You should do that from now on. Just

999
01:03:46,040 --> 01:03:53,200
Speaker 1: facts O. I'll like facsy little drawing. Okay, Oh, this

1000
01:03:53,360 --> 01:04:01,000
Speaker 1: was so fun rain emails. I love these episodes even

1001
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:04,440
Speaker 1: though I'm always crying and I cannot control myself. I

1002
01:04:04,480 --> 01:04:08,760
Speaker 1: still I just love I love them. Yeah, it makes

1003
01:04:08,800 --> 01:04:12,240
Speaker 1: me happy, honestly, it gives it brings me pride in

1004
01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:23,760
Speaker 1: a way that like people are listening. That's good. That's

1005
01:04:23,800 --> 01:04:30,560
Speaker 1: perfect for my life anyway, Love you guys, Love everyone. Hey,

1006
01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:34,520
Speaker 1: remember write in sibling submissions at gmail dot com. We

1007
01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:39,960
Speaker 1: love hearing from you. Sibling Revelry is executive produced by

1008
01:04:40,040 --> 01:04:43,680
Speaker 1: Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson. Producer is Alison President, editor

1009
01:04:43,800 --> 01:04:48,800
Speaker 1: is Josh Wendish. Music by Mark Hudson aka Uncle Mark.

1010
01:04:48,920 --> 01:04:50,880
Speaker 1: If you want to show us some love, rate the

1011
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:53,480
Speaker 1: show and leave us a review. This show is powered

1012
01:04:53,480 --> 01:04:56,200
Speaker 1: by simple cast