Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of our Heart Radio
Speaker 1: and the Black Effect. I feel aspected, Nice, feel aspect,
Speaker 1: I still aspected nice still, And just like that, we're
Speaker 1: back on the air. Welcome back to yet another Carefully
Speaker 1: Reckless episode. Quit your girl, Dr Jess. I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: Dr Jess because I just want fix in, a fix
Speaker 1: and the fix in y'all mess. I've been getting some
Speaker 1: great updates. People are telling me that their situations have
Speaker 1: been getting easier. I had like a couple of people
Speaker 1: say that it's still the same. Issue is still the same.
Speaker 1: That's where you need profession now licensed help. Okay, So
Speaker 1: I encourage everybody to go get all the help that
Speaker 1: they need. But if I am able to help you
Speaker 1: and you can save your money. Okay. So the first story,
Speaker 1: it's from a guy from China. He told me that
Speaker 1: I can let you guys know that he is one
Speaker 1: of my fans from China. That makes me feel good.
Speaker 1: He did not send a voice note, but he decided
Speaker 1: to write in his story. Here we go, Hi, ja,
Speaker 1: big fan of Carefully Reckless. I got married a few
Speaker 1: months ago. My wife was keeping a big secret from me.
Speaker 1: I noticed that she had been acting a little different
Speaker 1: after the proposal party. Okay, proposal party, I know that's freddy.
Speaker 1: Do what they should? They do a different in China,
Speaker 1: they get lit up in there. I proposed to my
Speaker 1: wife because she was pregnant and we wanted to get
Speaker 1: married before the baby arrived. I found out about a
Speaker 1: disturbing secret three days before the wedding. I wonder what
Speaker 1: the hell this is? Oh lord, what you didn't find out?
Speaker 1: But I still wanted to go through with everything. Me
Speaker 1: and my wife have dated since school. Oh wow, that's nice.
Speaker 1: Her parents loved me so much. Her mother was the
Speaker 1: one who told me about the secret. Oh damn, come on, now,
Speaker 1: we go through with the wedding on the wedding day.
Speaker 1: On the actual wedding day, at the reception, I proposed
Speaker 1: the toast, telling her I love her, how beautiful she looked,
Speaker 1: and how in love I've been with her since the
Speaker 1: first day I laid eyes on her, how I'm so
Speaker 1: excited for her being with child. As everyone toasted and
Speaker 1: sipped their champagne, I played a video on the projector
Speaker 1: behind me and my wife, and the video oh ship.
Speaker 1: The video was of her and my brother having sex
Speaker 1: in the bed. Oh wow. Not sure if you've ever
Speaker 1: heard anything like this, but it was the most humiliating
Speaker 1: moment of my life. She was embarrassed. I was embarrassed,
Speaker 1: and my brother was sitting there embarrassed as well. Everyone
Speaker 1: spent their drinks on each other. Although her mother told
Speaker 1: me about this secret, she didn't know that I had
Speaker 1: planned to show everyone at the wedding. I posted the
Speaker 1: video on social media and it went slightly viral. Why
Speaker 1: this niggas savage? This niggas a savage? So now everyone
Speaker 1: hates me and it's really unfair. What should I do?
Speaker 1: Apologize to everyone? Divorce my wife or move to America.
Speaker 1: It's like, now, I ain't say that last part, y'all,
Speaker 1: or sit down and have a talk with my brother. Okay, yeah, listen,
Speaker 1: I ain't know y'allways having them type of problems in China, Damn.
Speaker 1: Not in no China. That's some some Baltimore ship. God damn,
Speaker 1: that's some some fun. That's some USA ship that I
Speaker 1: ain't just gonna put that on my city. That's some
Speaker 1: USA ship alright, Alright. That just goes to show improved
Speaker 1: that people are people everywhere no matter where you are.
Speaker 1: Nobody your skin color, no matter your nationality or ethnicity,
Speaker 1: your culture. People gonna cheat, and people go and have
Speaker 1: receipts and show them whatever they got to show him. Man,
Speaker 1: he just happened to show him at his wedding. Okay.
Speaker 1: I have a couple of questions for you, though. Why
Speaker 1: would you still proceed to marry her if you saw
Speaker 1: the video before you walked down the aisle? You saw
Speaker 1: the video before your wedding day. You told me that
Speaker 1: her mother told you so. If her mother sat you
Speaker 1: down and tell her, did she give you the video
Speaker 1: or did you like? How the hell did you get
Speaker 1: the video? First of all? Okay, so I'm just confused.
Speaker 1: Like I said, I have so many questions. Then are
Speaker 1: you sure that the baby is even yours? It's so
Speaker 1: many missing pieces to this puzzle. It was kind of
Speaker 1: all over the place, but I get the gist. Last question,
Speaker 1: why would you play the video at your wedding and
Speaker 1: you said it was the most humiliating day of your life. Well,
Speaker 1: you helped with that, honey. You didn't have to to
Speaker 1: do that. You didn't have to put it on display
Speaker 1: for your friends, your family. You know, I'm even cowork
Speaker 1: or whoever else that you invited to your wedding to see.
Speaker 1: Of course that embarrassed her, although I'm sure her embarrassment
Speaker 1: or the least of your worries at this point, but
Speaker 1: you you embarrassed yourself either. Even further, Yes, you should
Speaker 1: have been had a conversation with your brother as soon
Speaker 1: as your mother told on your brother, because that's what
Speaker 1: I'm thinking. I'm thinking your brother might have told mom,
Speaker 1: or mom may have found out and she bought it
Speaker 1: to you because she knew that you were about to
Speaker 1: marry this girl. And and and they love her as
Speaker 1: your wife. They you know, they loved her up until then.
Speaker 1: You know. I don't know if your dad knows, but
Speaker 1: I can tell this disappointed your mother so much that
Speaker 1: she's sat down with you, because that has to be
Speaker 1: a frustration. I'm about to if I'm if I'm a
Speaker 1: mother and my son is about to be married to
Speaker 1: this woman that has sex with my other son, and
Speaker 1: and she's saying that she's pregnant by my son who
Speaker 1: she's about to marry, I'm gonna set my son down
Speaker 1: and do the same thing. So there's no penalty on mom.
Speaker 1: Oh no, wait, her mother, Okay, yes, all right, you
Speaker 1: said her mother told you. All right, that's that's even
Speaker 1: worse and better. The reason why I say worse is
Speaker 1: because damn, she didn't even go to her daughters to
Speaker 1: tell her daughter that she told you this ship. I
Speaker 1: would have went to my daughter first. I wouldn't have
Speaker 1: hit you first. I would have sat down and told
Speaker 1: you if my daughter didn't have the balls to do it.
Speaker 1: But she had the balls to sleep with your brother.
Speaker 1: And the reason why I say that's even better is
Speaker 1: because you know that the mother does not indulge in
Speaker 1: ship like that, and there is some type of loyalty
Speaker 1: there to you with her mother, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So I I would appreciate it, but I think she
Speaker 1: should have sat down and told her daughter that ship too.
Speaker 1: And did you ever even tell her that her mother
Speaker 1: was the one to tell you or whatever? Because I
Speaker 1: know she's thinking probably like, well, how the fuck did
Speaker 1: you get this video? And then who in the funk
Speaker 1: recorded it? Because that sounds like some ship that she
Speaker 1: didn't even know what was happening while she was having
Speaker 1: so with your brother. It sounded like your brother recorded
Speaker 1: the ship and wanted to keep it for one day.
Speaker 1: I don't know, what what are you in your brother's relationship? Like,
Speaker 1: I have so many questions for you and you're so
Speaker 1: far away. Oh my god. I do think you need
Speaker 1: to get a DNA test on the baby. I think
Speaker 1: you need to sit down and talk to your wife.
Speaker 1: I do think that you need to tell her exactly
Speaker 1: how you feel and tell her why you still married her.
Speaker 1: Because the only reason that I'm thinking you still married
Speaker 1: her is because you've foreseen getting over this. Y'all getting
Speaker 1: past it some way, somehow. I don't know. That's the
Speaker 1: only way that I would still be talking about I
Speaker 1: do and saying my vows and ship, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. I guess that you've never seen Best Man,
Speaker 1: but I know there's a Chinese version The Best Man.
Speaker 1: You need to go watch that, and you need to
Speaker 1: see because there's a part where Morrish Chestnut can't even
Speaker 1: look his wife and the eye as they're saying their
Speaker 1: vows and ship is like as he keeps seeing his
Speaker 1: friend who had sex with her, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: And he found that out like two days before his wedding,
Speaker 1: and the American best Man, you know, so, I don't
Speaker 1: know what I'm gonna seeing you the movie if you
Speaker 1: know semi address. I've seen you the movie over there
Speaker 1: if you've never seen it before. But that all we got.
Speaker 1: We got YouTube. You look on to YouTube or Hulu
Speaker 1: and all that ship. You know, y'all be creating everything.
Speaker 1: I know you've seen best Man somewhere. Y'all created the
Speaker 1: damn fire stick. But um, go ahead and watch it,
Speaker 1: you know. And and but on a more serious note, seriously, babe,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have married her. I'm just telling you. My
Speaker 1: thoughts or the or the wedding would be pushed back
Speaker 1: like I can't find out something that drastic, and it'd
Speaker 1: be my own brother. And then I still walked down
Speaker 1: the fucking aislet. I don't know. Your ass might be
Speaker 1: a little sociopath. How the hell did you even gather
Speaker 1: that much strength and patience to wait to the fucking
Speaker 1: reception to do this big preason take? And that embarrassed
Speaker 1: you further. Now everybody hate you. I wouldn't give a
Speaker 1: funk about nobody hating me though this should happen to me.
Speaker 1: You cheated on me in private. I'm gonna let everybody
Speaker 1: know a public period. I get it, trust me, I
Speaker 1: get it. That's why I said. I knew y'all did
Speaker 1: that type of ship over there. That's what the funk
Speaker 1: we do over here. But I get it. Check back
Speaker 1: in with me. I will be here for you, and
Speaker 1: if for for your wife, if she want to talk
Speaker 1: or whatever. You know, I'm whoever else. I'm so sorry
Speaker 1: that this happened to you, and I can only imagine
Speaker 1: how you feel, even thinking that your baby couldn't be yours,
Speaker 1: or even because she's still pregnant and so you don't know,
Speaker 1: it's so much doubt in your house. And I don't
Speaker 1: even know if you're in the house. Just check back
Speaker 1: in with me, but you need to sit down and
Speaker 1: have a conversation with her and your brother, not them together,
Speaker 1: just both of them separate. And I would extend an
Speaker 1: apology to your mother in law. I would just because
Speaker 1: although she outed her daughter, you kind of outed her
Speaker 1: a little bit in the sense or in her opinion
Speaker 1: as a mom. I'm thinking that her only problem is
Speaker 1: you went about it the wrong way of of letting
Speaker 1: her know, like you, you put your wife on blast. Okay,
Speaker 1: so just just extend an apology to her mother, because
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure you hurt her mother's feelings. And then
Speaker 1: also you have to also think about this. Some say
Speaker 1: this that I'm gonna move on, just think about this factor.
Speaker 1: If that was the video of them having sex in
Speaker 1: the bed, they were naked, So you further exposed your
Speaker 1: wife to people who didn't even know what a body
Speaker 1: looked like, or you know, to someone's sacred to you,
Speaker 1: like you know, you you expose your your brother, your
Speaker 1: brother's dingling, I mean, and then you you exposed your
Speaker 1: wife as well. So check back in with me. I'm
Speaker 1: not faulting you. I'm not telling you that you shouldn't
Speaker 1: feel the way that you feel. I just think you
Speaker 1: went about it a little sporadic um. It was a
Speaker 1: that was very very reckless. But this is carefully reckless,
Speaker 1: you know. So I'm glad that you actually brought this
Speaker 1: issue to me. Check in. Moving on. Hold up, hold up,
Speaker 1: I noticed ship getting good. But listen to just a
Speaker 1: couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me,
Speaker 1: you'll listen. This woman sends it. Okay, this one is
Speaker 1: a voice recording. Your call has been forwarded to an
Speaker 1: automatic voice message system at the tone. Please record your message.
Speaker 1: A year and a half ago, I got engaged to
Speaker 1: a guy. Let me just start off by saying I'm bisexual.
Speaker 1: First first plans, but I got engaged to a guy.
Speaker 1: Nless to say, things did not work out. I met
Speaker 1: someone down here and he's like role and we hit
Speaker 1: it off. Like I met her at a job at bartend. Um.
Speaker 1: So I met her at my job. We've been cool, Like,
Speaker 1: you know, certain things my ex fiance didn't do with me,
Speaker 1: she was willing to do for me. UM, certain places
Speaker 1: that he wouldn't take me. She would certain activities that
Speaker 1: you know I have talked to her about. She would
Speaker 1: take me to go do. UM. We we just hit
Speaker 1: it off. We became like my best friend, like she
Speaker 1: became my best friend. UM. So one night we had
Speaker 1: a few and we kind of talked about some things
Speaker 1: and how we felt about each other. I was the
Speaker 1: first one to say something to her. UM. I felt like,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't. I didn't want it to confuse
Speaker 1: us as a friendship. But I also felt like I
Speaker 1: needed to tell her that I liked her. UM. But again,
Speaker 1: like I said, I I also told her I'm still
Speaker 1: trying to work through my feelings with my ex. UM.
Speaker 1: She said that she just she wanted to strictly just
Speaker 1: be friends, just be friends. I took that because I
Speaker 1: just wanted to be in her life at some capacity.
Speaker 1: That's it, because she is such such a good person. Um.
Speaker 1: Fast forward, we still hung out, We still were with
Speaker 1: each other almost every single day. UM, I still went
Speaker 1: on just like many many activities. Some people call it dates,
Speaker 1: but I guess. I mean she was my friend and
Speaker 1: that's what she was, so I don't. I don't want
Speaker 1: to say it was a date. Um. I work in
Speaker 1: a bar. Like I said, I was at work one
Speaker 1: day and I met another female who was in the bar,
Speaker 1: and she seemed really really cool. Now, mind you, my
Speaker 1: first friend, she wanted to strictly be friends, and I
Speaker 1: was okay with that. It was cool. Um. So the
Speaker 1: second girl, I thought her vibe was cool, she knew
Speaker 1: about where I was from everything else. Um. I gave
Speaker 1: her my number. My first friend found out, and she
Speaker 1: got really really upset, like pissed. She caught me the
Speaker 1: next morning and was like, oh, like I just felt like,
Speaker 1: you know, we're yeah, we're just friends, but like you know,
Speaker 1: like I just you're just giving yourself access to people
Speaker 1: who you don't know, and you don't know these people,
Speaker 1: and and my thing was like I didn't know you either,
Speaker 1: and you still got my number and we still vibbed out,
Speaker 1: and I feel like maybe that's just for me to
Speaker 1: decide at the end of the day. Um So we
Speaker 1: we stopped talking for a little bit, and then she
Speaker 1: popped up at my job and she was just like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry I missed my friend, blah blah blah. We
Speaker 1: went on this back and forth after this for weeks.
Speaker 1: It was like she would just like, I don't know
Speaker 1: if I trust you now and all this stuff, and like,
Speaker 1: how do I know that you're not how do I
Speaker 1: know that you're you're not giving yourself to other people
Speaker 1: and all this other stuff. But my thing is you
Speaker 1: wanted to be friends. I don't see what the issue is.
Speaker 1: I really don't. Recently, I just had a birthday. I
Speaker 1: hadn't talked to her again for two weeks. We were
Speaker 1: on this big old fight. She popped up at my
Speaker 1: birthday party, made like a grand gesture of gifts and
Speaker 1: everything else, and like it was it was I. I
Speaker 1: appreciated it because she was my friend, but I'm just
Speaker 1: so confused. I'm so confused. Yesterday she asked me out
Speaker 1: to dinner, and I just don't know where I should go.
Speaker 1: I just need I need another woman's opinion on this. Like,
Speaker 1: Am I wrong for just feeling like I kind of
Speaker 1: want to just like separate myself from her? Am I wrong?
Speaker 1: And I'm only asking because there are certain things that
Speaker 1: she has done in the past that it's kind of
Speaker 1: just like the part calling the kettle black when it
Speaker 1: comes to me giving out my number. I've seen her
Speaker 1: entertain other females. I haven't said it. I've never said
Speaker 1: anything because we're friends, you know what I mean? Like
Speaker 1: I watched her with other women and it doesn't bother me, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: my feelings are still here for her, Yeah, they're still there.
Speaker 1: But like I said, I just don't want I don't
Speaker 1: want my feelings for her and the feelings I just
Speaker 1: recently had for my do want to say. I don't
Speaker 1: want it to just mix and mingle. I want I
Speaker 1: want to try and separate these feelings. So that's why
Speaker 1: so I'm asking, Like, am I wrong for separating myself?
Speaker 1: Am I wrong? Because I do love her? I love
Speaker 1: her to death and I do and I want her around,
Speaker 1: but I don't know. I don't know, Okay, honey, well,
Speaker 1: I love and appreciate that you are putting me in
Speaker 1: your business. Um, she sounds very toxic. She does. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm trying to figure this sh it out
Speaker 1: with her, because, okay, going back to the beginning, she
Speaker 1: told you that you guys were hitting it off whatever, whatever,
Speaker 1: getting to know each other, and she told you that
Speaker 1: she wanted to be nothing more than just friends. All right,
Speaker 1: So when you say that to somebody, that's ultimately what
Speaker 1: you mean. You know, you're telling them that you don't
Speaker 1: want a relationship. You respected it, you were like, okay, fine,
Speaker 1: that's it, right. So then you meet someone else you
Speaker 1: wret at a bar. You're not from there. You moved
Speaker 1: from Pittsburgh and South Carolina, understand that, and that's where
Speaker 1: you met her. Yeah, you met her. You didn't know her.
Speaker 1: You meet new people. I didn't move down here for you, bitch.
Speaker 1: I moved now here with my fiance. She didn't work
Speaker 1: out with him, but I met you, we hit it off.
Speaker 1: It sounds to me like she had a little fucking pimp, honestly,
Speaker 1: And UM, I'm just keeping that ship. Really, I'm not
Speaker 1: saying she don't love you. I'm not saying you don't
Speaker 1: have a connection. All I'm saying is it sounds as
Speaker 1: if she doesn't want to be with you, but she
Speaker 1: doesn't want you to be with anybody else. She doesn't
Speaker 1: want to see you with anybody else. You've already started
Speaker 1: building whatever. This is. A situation ship is what I
Speaker 1: call it. Um, you've already started building that with her,
Speaker 1: But you weren't the only one that she was building
Speaker 1: that with. Because the only reason why she would say,
Speaker 1: after y'all getting to know each other, and she just
Speaker 1: throws a speed up in. They're like, look, all I
Speaker 1: want is just to be friends. I don't want to
Speaker 1: take it any further. She was probably working on something
Speaker 1: with someone else, waiting for them to get their ship together.
Speaker 1: She was probably already involved with someone, like I always
Speaker 1: tell everybody, Like I always tell people, nobody just talks
Speaker 1: to no one. Somebody like, if I go outside and
Speaker 1: meet a guy right now, you know, and I have
Speaker 1: a boyfriend. But if I didn't, I want to go
Speaker 1: try to date someone, They're gonna have people in their
Speaker 1: phone that they're talking to. No nobody is just talking
Speaker 1: to no one, you know, And I don't care. People
Speaker 1: can people some of you, all listeners gonna be like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: ounts out, nobody outside, nobody, No, it's somebody. I ain't
Speaker 1: saying you gotta be having sex to somebody. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying you've gotta be intimate with somebody. I'm not saying
Speaker 1: that you have to be going on dates with someone physically.
Speaker 1: But you are talking to somebody, whether it's just a
Speaker 1: high or what you're doing, or when I'm gonna come
Speaker 1: and see you, or there is somebody. Some everybody got
Speaker 1: somebody that they talking to one or more people. That's
Speaker 1: just how it goes. That's how it is. And um,
Speaker 1: a lot of people these days date with the notion
Speaker 1: that it won't last. So they like to have ship
Speaker 1: in the back pocket. They like to have more than
Speaker 1: one option. They like to have options. You know, people
Speaker 1: date with options, which is not good for anybody. That
Speaker 1: ship is not good. Ship is actually it's disloyalty at
Speaker 1: its best, Like it's it's It doesn't build loyalty at all,
Speaker 1: it doesn't build faithfulness at all. So, um, that's what
Speaker 1: it sounds like. Though it sounds like to me that
Speaker 1: that you are making the right decision. You just need
Speaker 1: for someone to confirm it for you. Yes, you're doing
Speaker 1: the right thing. You should sever tise with her. I
Speaker 1: think you should just distance yourself. You love her the death,
Speaker 1: Yes you want her around and all that, but she
Speaker 1: seems like a very toxic person and she seems like
Speaker 1: she's not even ready to be in a relationship. She
Speaker 1: doesn't want one. She clearly told you that. So you
Speaker 1: only have to do what's best for you and date
Speaker 1: around until you find what you want. You know, don't
Speaker 1: hold yourself high stitch to her while she's out here
Speaker 1: playing fucking games, because that's what she's doing, talking about
Speaker 1: how low manipulating it is, talking about, Oh, you don't
Speaker 1: know these people. You don't know these people here? What
Speaker 1: the funk? Are you my protector and save you? I
Speaker 1: didn't know your ass and I've seen you getting numbers
Speaker 1: and you aren't about me getting somebody. Now, I work
Speaker 1: at a ball let's get bit just drunk, and then
Speaker 1: they want me. What do you expect? That's it, ship,
Speaker 1: that's all. It's in a nutshell. But you checked back
Speaker 1: in with me. Yes, I do think that you need
Speaker 1: to have a conversation with her. Everything like the first
Speaker 1: key of everything, all these stories that you guys were
Speaker 1: giving me from week to week. It's communication. Nobody really
Speaker 1: knows how to communicate their feelings, and it's easier to
Speaker 1: talk to somebody else about it who don't know either
Speaker 1: of you or who actually only knows you. But then
Speaker 1: that's when you get biased opinions when you talk to
Speaker 1: people who know you and who you know. I only
Speaker 1: want to see the best for you, and that's not
Speaker 1: always bad. But you guys need to know how to
Speaker 1: talk to the people that are that you're in these
Speaker 1: relationships with that you're going through these obstacles with. Learn
Speaker 1: how to talk. You know what I'm saying. I think
Speaker 1: you should talk to her and tell her exactly why
Speaker 1: you are distancing yourself because she do ship like pop
Speaker 1: up at your job and ship and she does. I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure she know where you live. Y'all were actually
Speaker 1: getting to know each other and not actually on your
Speaker 1: way to a relationship, but then she stopped it. So
Speaker 1: be careful, definitely, you know, sound like a crazy little pimp,
Speaker 1: you know, but communicate that with her. Keep that line
Speaker 1: of communication open, just to communicate that, and then close
Speaker 1: that ship off. Okay, you don't want nothing else to
Speaker 1: do with that until she come correct, she ain't gotta
Speaker 1: come at all. That's it, And just like that, I'm
Speaker 1: going to end this episode. This has been great, honey.
Speaker 1: We didn't have an Asian man put his goddamn wife
Speaker 1: on a teleprompter at the wedding, cheating on him with
Speaker 1: his brother. We got a pimp and stud named slick
Speaker 1: Back trying to control this bartender's life. My name is
Speaker 1: a pimp named slick Back. We don't add time for
Speaker 1: this ship. We have to get ourselves together as a people.
Speaker 1: Whether you're Asian, black or white, it don't matter. We
Speaker 1: gotta get the ship together. So I'm just letting all
Speaker 1: y'all know right now, huh keep sending in your stories.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep trying to help you. Tune in each
Speaker 1: and every Wednesday, seven am, Too, Carefully Reckless and Reckless
Speaker 1: Discussions airs to nights at seven pm only on YouTube
Speaker 1: and then My Deepest paandvoys heys. Carefully Reckless is a
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For
Speaker 1: more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I heart
Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
Speaker 1: favorite shows.