WEBVTT - Dr. Jess Is In! 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:03.119 Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of our Heart Radio 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:07.840 and the Black Effect. I feel aspected, Nice, feel aspect, 0:00:08.320 --> 0:00:21.520 I still aspected nice still, And just like that, we're 0:00:21.560 --> 0:00:24.120 back on the air. Welcome back to yet another Carefully 0:00:24.120 --> 0:00:27.160 Reckless episode. Quit your girl, Dr Jess. I'm gonna say 0:00:27.200 --> 0:00:29.280 Dr Jess because I just want fix in, a fix 0:00:29.320 --> 0:00:31.240 and the fix in y'all mess. I've been getting some 0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:35.199 great updates. People are telling me that their situations have 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:37.720 been getting easier. I had like a couple of people 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:40.480 say that it's still the same. Issue is still the same. 0:00:40.680 --> 0:00:45.000 That's where you need profession now licensed help. Okay, So 0:00:45.760 --> 0:00:48.040 I encourage everybody to go get all the help that 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:50.279 they need. But if I am able to help you 0:00:50.760 --> 0:00:55.600 and you can save your money. Okay. So the first story, 0:00:57.000 --> 0:00:58.840 it's from a guy from China. He told me that 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:00.600 I can let you guys know that he is one 0:01:00.640 --> 0:01:03.360 of my fans from China. That makes me feel good. 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:06.959 He did not send a voice note, but he decided 0:01:07.000 --> 0:01:11.319 to write in his story. Here we go, Hi, ja, 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:15.679 big fan of Carefully Reckless. I got married a few 0:01:15.680 --> 0:01:18.920 months ago. My wife was keeping a big secret from me. 0:01:19.600 --> 0:01:22.160 I noticed that she had been acting a little different 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:26.160 after the proposal party. Okay, proposal party, I know that's freddy. 0:01:26.240 --> 0:01:28.399 Do what they should? They do a different in China, 0:01:28.480 --> 0:01:31.280 they get lit up in there. I proposed to my 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:34.360 wife because she was pregnant and we wanted to get 0:01:34.360 --> 0:01:37.760 married before the baby arrived. I found out about a 0:01:37.800 --> 0:01:42.200 disturbing secret three days before the wedding. I wonder what 0:01:42.240 --> 0:01:45.840 the hell this is? Oh lord, what you didn't find out? 0:01:46.400 --> 0:01:49.640 But I still wanted to go through with everything. Me 0:01:49.680 --> 0:01:53.280 and my wife have dated since school. Oh wow, that's nice. 0:01:53.680 --> 0:01:56.840 Her parents loved me so much. Her mother was the 0:01:56.880 --> 0:02:01.880 one who told me about the secret. Oh damn, come on, now, 0:02:02.400 --> 0:02:05.520 we go through with the wedding on the wedding day. 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:09.560 On the actual wedding day, at the reception, I proposed 0:02:09.560 --> 0:02:13.799 the toast, telling her I love her, how beautiful she looked, 0:02:14.280 --> 0:02:16.880 and how in love I've been with her since the 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:19.960 first day I laid eyes on her, how I'm so 0:02:20.040 --> 0:02:24.200 excited for her being with child. As everyone toasted and 0:02:24.320 --> 0:02:28.200 sipped their champagne, I played a video on the projector 0:02:28.320 --> 0:02:32.800 behind me and my wife, and the video oh ship. 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:36.400 The video was of her and my brother having sex 0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:40.720 in the bed. Oh wow. Not sure if you've ever 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:45.000 heard anything like this, but it was the most humiliating 0:02:45.360 --> 0:02:49.160 moment of my life. She was embarrassed. I was embarrassed, 0:02:49.919 --> 0:02:53.360 and my brother was sitting there embarrassed as well. Everyone 0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:57.200 spent their drinks on each other. Although her mother told 0:02:57.240 --> 0:02:59.960 me about this secret, she didn't know that I had 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:04.160 planned to show everyone at the wedding. I posted the 0:03:04.280 --> 0:03:09.040 video on social media and it went slightly viral. Why 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:13.360 this niggas savage? This niggas a savage? So now everyone 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:17.000 hates me and it's really unfair. What should I do? 0:03:17.360 --> 0:03:22.239 Apologize to everyone? Divorce my wife or move to America. 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:24.200 It's like, now, I ain't say that last part, y'all, 0:03:24.600 --> 0:03:31.600 or sit down and have a talk with my brother. Okay, yeah, listen, 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:35.040 I ain't know y'allways having them type of problems in China, Damn. 0:03:35.960 --> 0:03:40.680 Not in no China. That's some some Baltimore ship. God damn, 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:43.840 that's some some fun. That's some USA ship that I 0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:45.760 ain't just gonna put that on my city. That's some 0:03:45.920 --> 0:03:49.320 USA ship alright, Alright. That just goes to show improved 0:03:49.360 --> 0:03:52.080 that people are people everywhere no matter where you are. 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:54.800 Nobody your skin color, no matter your nationality or ethnicity, 0:03:54.960 --> 0:03:58.120 your culture. People gonna cheat, and people go and have 0:03:58.320 --> 0:04:00.600 receipts and show them whatever they got to show him. Man, 0:04:00.760 --> 0:04:04.200 he just happened to show him at his wedding. Okay. 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:06.560 I have a couple of questions for you, though. Why 0:04:06.640 --> 0:04:11.000 would you still proceed to marry her if you saw 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:15.200 the video before you walked down the aisle? You saw 0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:17.440 the video before your wedding day. You told me that 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:20.120 her mother told you so. If her mother sat you 0:04:20.160 --> 0:04:21.880 down and tell her, did she give you the video 0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:24.279 or did you like? How the hell did you get 0:04:24.320 --> 0:04:27.960 the video? First of all? Okay, so I'm just confused. 0:04:28.000 --> 0:04:31.920 Like I said, I have so many questions. Then are 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:34.839 you sure that the baby is even yours? It's so 0:04:34.880 --> 0:04:38.840 many missing pieces to this puzzle. It was kind of 0:04:38.880 --> 0:04:42.799 all over the place, but I get the gist. Last question, 0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:46.120 why would you play the video at your wedding and 0:04:46.200 --> 0:04:50.240 you said it was the most humiliating day of your life. Well, 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:53.440 you helped with that, honey. You didn't have to to 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:57.000 do that. You didn't have to put it on display 0:04:57.040 --> 0:04:59.920 for your friends, your family. You know, I'm even cowork 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:02.440 or whoever else that you invited to your wedding to see. 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:07.120 Of course that embarrassed her, although I'm sure her embarrassment 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:10.120 or the least of your worries at this point, but 0:05:10.440 --> 0:05:13.880 you you embarrassed yourself either. Even further, Yes, you should 0:05:13.880 --> 0:05:16.120 have been had a conversation with your brother as soon 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:18.599 as your mother told on your brother, because that's what 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:22.039 I'm thinking. I'm thinking your brother might have told mom, 0:05:22.120 --> 0:05:24.479 or mom may have found out and she bought it 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:26.520 to you because she knew that you were about to 0:05:26.560 --> 0:05:30.279 marry this girl. And and and they love her as 0:05:30.320 --> 0:05:33.200 your wife. They you know, they loved her up until then. 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:34.960 You know. I don't know if your dad knows, but 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:38.279 I can tell this disappointed your mother so much that 0:05:38.440 --> 0:05:40.760 she's sat down with you, because that has to be 0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:43.080 a frustration. I'm about to if I'm if I'm a 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:44.919 mother and my son is about to be married to 0:05:44.960 --> 0:05:47.800 this woman that has sex with my other son, and 0:05:47.800 --> 0:05:51.479 and she's saying that she's pregnant by my son who 0:05:51.520 --> 0:05:54.000 she's about to marry, I'm gonna set my son down 0:05:54.000 --> 0:05:56.839 and do the same thing. So there's no penalty on mom. 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:02.760 Oh no, wait, her mother, Okay, yes, all right, you 0:06:02.760 --> 0:06:06.280 said her mother told you. All right, that's that's even 0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:10.000 worse and better. The reason why I say worse is 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:12.320 because damn, she didn't even go to her daughters to 0:06:12.480 --> 0:06:14.840 tell her daughter that she told you this ship. I 0:06:14.880 --> 0:06:16.680 would have went to my daughter first. I wouldn't have 0:06:16.760 --> 0:06:20.320 hit you first. I would have sat down and told 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:22.800 you if my daughter didn't have the balls to do it. 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:24.719 But she had the balls to sleep with your brother. 0:06:24.960 --> 0:06:27.400 And the reason why I say that's even better is 0:06:27.440 --> 0:06:31.320 because you know that the mother does not indulge in 0:06:31.360 --> 0:06:34.840 ship like that, and there is some type of loyalty 0:06:35.000 --> 0:06:38.120 there to you with her mother, you know what I'm saying. 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:41.800 So I I would appreciate it, but I think she 0:06:41.800 --> 0:06:44.120 should have sat down and told her daughter that ship too. 0:06:44.360 --> 0:06:46.159 And did you ever even tell her that her mother 0:06:46.320 --> 0:06:48.520 was the one to tell you or whatever? Because I 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:52.560 know she's thinking probably like, well, how the fuck did 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:55.400 you get this video? And then who in the funk 0:06:55.480 --> 0:06:57.560 recorded it? Because that sounds like some ship that she 0:06:57.600 --> 0:06:59.800 didn't even know what was happening while she was having 0:06:59.800 --> 0:07:02.799 so with your brother. It sounded like your brother recorded 0:07:02.839 --> 0:07:06.240 the ship and wanted to keep it for one day. 0:07:06.279 --> 0:07:08.800 I don't know, what what are you in your brother's relationship? Like, 0:07:09.080 --> 0:07:12.000 I have so many questions for you and you're so 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:17.920 far away. Oh my god. I do think you need 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:19.480 to get a DNA test on the baby. I think 0:07:19.480 --> 0:07:21.240 you need to sit down and talk to your wife. 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:25.240 I do think that you need to tell her exactly 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:27.960 how you feel and tell her why you still married her. 0:07:28.000 --> 0:07:30.080 Because the only reason that I'm thinking you still married 0:07:30.080 --> 0:07:34.840 her is because you've foreseen getting over this. Y'all getting 0:07:34.840 --> 0:07:38.200 past it some way, somehow. I don't know. That's the 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:41.360 only way that I would still be talking about I 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:43.480 do and saying my vows and ship, you know what 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:45.360 I'm saying. I guess that you've never seen Best Man, 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:47.200 but I know there's a Chinese version The Best Man. 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:49.280 You need to go watch that, and you need to 0:07:49.320 --> 0:07:54.840 see because there's a part where Morrish Chestnut can't even 0:07:54.880 --> 0:07:58.160 look his wife and the eye as they're saying their 0:07:58.240 --> 0:08:01.160 vows and ship is like as he keeps seeing his 0:08:01.320 --> 0:08:04.240 friend who had sex with her, you know what I'm saying, 0:08:04.440 --> 0:08:07.560 And he found that out like two days before his wedding, 0:08:07.800 --> 0:08:11.000 and the American best Man, you know, so, I don't 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:13.240 know what I'm gonna seeing you the movie if you 0:08:13.280 --> 0:08:15.400 know semi address. I've seen you the movie over there 0:08:15.400 --> 0:08:18.240 if you've never seen it before. But that all we got. 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:21.080 We got YouTube. You look on to YouTube or Hulu 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:23.520 and all that ship. You know, y'all be creating everything. 0:08:23.560 --> 0:08:26.160 I know you've seen best Man somewhere. Y'all created the 0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:30.280 damn fire stick. But um, go ahead and watch it, 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:37.400 you know. And and but on a more serious note, seriously, babe, 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:41.439 I wouldn't have married her. I'm just telling you. My 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:43.960 thoughts or the or the wedding would be pushed back 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:46.920 like I can't find out something that drastic, and it'd 0:08:46.960 --> 0:08:49.920 be my own brother. And then I still walked down 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:52.439 the fucking aislet. I don't know. Your ass might be 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:54.720 a little sociopath. How the hell did you even gather 0:08:54.840 --> 0:08:57.760 that much strength and patience to wait to the fucking 0:08:57.800 --> 0:09:01.359 reception to do this big preason take? And that embarrassed 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:04.000 you further. Now everybody hate you. I wouldn't give a 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:06.600 funk about nobody hating me though this should happen to me. 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:09.360 You cheated on me in private. I'm gonna let everybody 0:09:09.400 --> 0:09:11.760 know a public period. I get it, trust me, I 0:09:11.840 --> 0:09:13.520 get it. That's why I said. I knew y'all did 0:09:13.559 --> 0:09:14.920 that type of ship over there. That's what the funk 0:09:14.960 --> 0:09:19.480 we do over here. But I get it. Check back 0:09:19.480 --> 0:09:23.640 in with me. I will be here for you, and 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:26.000 if for for your wife, if she want to talk 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:30.600 or whatever. You know, I'm whoever else. I'm so sorry 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:33.520 that this happened to you, and I can only imagine 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:37.760 how you feel, even thinking that your baby couldn't be yours, 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:41.480 or even because she's still pregnant and so you don't know, 0:09:41.520 --> 0:09:44.880 it's so much doubt in your house. And I don't 0:09:44.920 --> 0:09:46.760 even know if you're in the house. Just check back 0:09:46.800 --> 0:09:48.240 in with me, but you need to sit down and 0:09:48.240 --> 0:09:52.520 have a conversation with her and your brother, not them together, 0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:57.000 just both of them separate. And I would extend an 0:09:57.040 --> 0:10:00.679 apology to your mother in law. I would just because 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:05.400 although she outed her daughter, you kind of outed her 0:10:05.640 --> 0:10:08.320 a little bit in the sense or in her opinion 0:10:08.360 --> 0:10:10.640 as a mom. I'm thinking that her only problem is 0:10:10.679 --> 0:10:13.520 you went about it the wrong way of of letting 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:17.680 her know, like you, you put your wife on blast. Okay, 0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:21.320 so just just extend an apology to her mother, because 0:10:21.320 --> 0:10:23.880 I'm pretty sure you hurt her mother's feelings. And then 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:25.800 also you have to also think about this. Some say 0:10:25.800 --> 0:10:29.600 this that I'm gonna move on, just think about this factor. 0:10:30.679 --> 0:10:33.080 If that was the video of them having sex in 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:36.360 the bed, they were naked, So you further exposed your 0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:38.600 wife to people who didn't even know what a body 0:10:38.600 --> 0:10:41.760 looked like, or you know, to someone's sacred to you, 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:44.520 like you know, you you expose your your brother, your 0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:48.679 brother's dingling, I mean, and then you you exposed your 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:52.520 wife as well. So check back in with me. I'm 0:10:52.559 --> 0:10:54.679 not faulting you. I'm not telling you that you shouldn't 0:10:54.679 --> 0:10:56.240 feel the way that you feel. I just think you 0:10:56.240 --> 0:10:59.839 went about it a little sporadic um. It was a 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:03.319 that was very very reckless. But this is carefully reckless, 0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:05.680 you know. So I'm glad that you actually brought this 0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:12.400 issue to me. Check in. Moving on. Hold up, hold up, 0:11:12.400 --> 0:11:14.520 I noticed ship getting good. But listen to just a 0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:16.480 couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, 0:11:16.520 --> 0:11:25.720 you'll listen. This woman sends it. Okay, this one is 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:31.720 a voice recording. Your call has been forwarded to an 0:11:31.760 --> 0:11:38.479 automatic voice message system at the tone. Please record your message. 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:45.839 A year and a half ago, I got engaged to 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:49.480 a guy. Let me just start off by saying I'm bisexual. 0:11:49.520 --> 0:11:51.880 First first plans, but I got engaged to a guy. 0:11:52.559 --> 0:11:56.200 Nless to say, things did not work out. I met 0:11:56.440 --> 0:12:02.559 someone down here and he's like role and we hit 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:05.320 it off. Like I met her at a job at bartend. Um. 0:12:05.360 --> 0:12:08.360 So I met her at my job. We've been cool, Like, 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:11.160 you know, certain things my ex fiance didn't do with me, 0:12:11.400 --> 0:12:14.440 she was willing to do for me. UM, certain places 0:12:14.559 --> 0:12:18.800 that he wouldn't take me. She would certain activities that 0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:21.120 you know I have talked to her about. She would 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:24.320 take me to go do. UM. We we just hit 0:12:24.360 --> 0:12:27.520 it off. We became like my best friend, like she 0:12:27.600 --> 0:12:31.200 became my best friend. UM. So one night we had 0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:37.000 a few and we kind of talked about some things 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:40.959 and how we felt about each other. I was the 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:43.880 first one to say something to her. UM. I felt like, 0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:46.559 you know, I don't. I didn't want it to confuse 0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:52.000 us as a friendship. But I also felt like I 0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:57.200 needed to tell her that I liked her. UM. But again, 0:12:57.320 --> 0:12:59.400 like I said, I I also told her I'm still 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:03.840 trying to work through my feelings with my ex. UM. 0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:06.360 She said that she just she wanted to strictly just 0:13:06.559 --> 0:13:10.600 be friends, just be friends. I took that because I 0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:12.959 just wanted to be in her life at some capacity. 0:13:13.160 --> 0:13:16.839 That's it, because she is such such a good person. Um. 0:13:17.080 --> 0:13:20.079 Fast forward, we still hung out, We still were with 0:13:20.120 --> 0:13:24.320 each other almost every single day. UM, I still went 0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:28.360 on just like many many activities. Some people call it dates, 0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:30.240 but I guess. I mean she was my friend and 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:31.800 that's what she was, so I don't. I don't want 0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:34.439 to say it was a date. Um. I work in 0:13:34.480 --> 0:13:37.600 a bar. Like I said, I was at work one 0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:42.560 day and I met another female who was in the bar, 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:47.160 and she seemed really really cool. Now, mind you, my 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:54.120 first friend, she wanted to strictly be friends, and I 0:13:54.160 --> 0:13:58.960 was okay with that. It was cool. Um. So the 0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:01.680 second girl, I thought her vibe was cool, she knew 0:14:01.679 --> 0:14:05.640 about where I was from everything else. Um. I gave 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:09.200 her my number. My first friend found out, and she 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:14.960 got really really upset, like pissed. She caught me the 0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:17.560 next morning and was like, oh, like I just felt like, 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:22.240 you know, we're yeah, we're just friends, but like you know, 0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:25.240 like I just you're just giving yourself access to people 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:27.840 who you don't know, and you don't know these people, 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:30.480 and and my thing was like I didn't know you either, 0:14:31.600 --> 0:14:34.120 and you still got my number and we still vibbed out, 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:36.720 and I feel like maybe that's just for me to 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:44.480 decide at the end of the day. Um So we 0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:46.680 we stopped talking for a little bit, and then she 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:49.720 popped up at my job and she was just like, 0:14:49.720 --> 0:14:53.480 I'm sorry I missed my friend, blah blah blah. We 0:14:53.520 --> 0:14:57.520 went on this back and forth after this for weeks. 0:14:57.960 --> 0:15:00.200 It was like she would just like, I don't know 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:02.200 if I trust you now and all this stuff, and like, 0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:04.560 how do I know that you're not how do I 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:06.760 know that you're you're not giving yourself to other people 0:15:06.800 --> 0:15:08.600 and all this other stuff. But my thing is you 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:12.240 wanted to be friends. I don't see what the issue is. 0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:16.840 I really don't. Recently, I just had a birthday. I 0:15:16.840 --> 0:15:18.800 hadn't talked to her again for two weeks. We were 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:20.880 on this big old fight. She popped up at my 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:27.240 birthday party, made like a grand gesture of gifts and 0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:32.880 everything else, and like it was it was I. I 0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:36.000 appreciated it because she was my friend, but I'm just 0:15:36.040 --> 0:15:41.320 so confused. I'm so confused. Yesterday she asked me out 0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:45.280 to dinner, and I just don't know where I should go. 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:47.760 I just need I need another woman's opinion on this. Like, 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:53.560 Am I wrong for just feeling like I kind of 0:15:53.600 --> 0:15:57.840 want to just like separate myself from her? Am I wrong? 0:16:00.160 --> 0:16:03.600 And I'm only asking because there are certain things that 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:08.640 she has done in the past that it's kind of 0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:10.960 just like the part calling the kettle black when it 0:16:10.960 --> 0:16:13.280 comes to me giving out my number. I've seen her 0:16:14.640 --> 0:16:17.920 entertain other females. I haven't said it. I've never said 0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:19.880 anything because we're friends, you know what I mean? Like 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:26.000 I watched her with other women and it doesn't bother me, Like, yeah, 0:16:26.080 --> 0:16:28.720 my feelings are still here for her, Yeah, they're still there. 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:32.120 But like I said, I just don't want I don't 0:16:32.120 --> 0:16:34.960 want my feelings for her and the feelings I just 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:39.800 recently had for my do want to say. I don't 0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:41.800 want it to just mix and mingle. I want I 0:16:41.880 --> 0:16:44.160 want to try and separate these feelings. So that's why 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:47.320 so I'm asking, Like, am I wrong for separating myself? 0:16:47.720 --> 0:16:50.520 Am I wrong? Because I do love her? I love 0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:53.280 her to death and I do and I want her around, 0:16:53.320 --> 0:17:01.680 but I don't know. I don't know, Okay, honey, well, 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:05.199 I love and appreciate that you are putting me in 0:17:05.320 --> 0:17:11.520 your business. Um, she sounds very toxic. She does. I'm sorry, 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:14.720 I don't. I'm trying to figure this sh it out 0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:18.040 with her, because, okay, going back to the beginning, she 0:17:18.160 --> 0:17:20.440 told you that you guys were hitting it off whatever, whatever, 0:17:20.520 --> 0:17:22.439 getting to know each other, and she told you that 0:17:22.480 --> 0:17:25.200 she wanted to be nothing more than just friends. All right, 0:17:25.520 --> 0:17:28.040 So when you say that to somebody, that's ultimately what 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:29.880 you mean. You know, you're telling them that you don't 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:33.200 want a relationship. You respected it, you were like, okay, fine, 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:36.520 that's it, right. So then you meet someone else you 0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:38.200 wret at a bar. You're not from there. You moved 0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:42.000 from Pittsburgh and South Carolina, understand that, and that's where 0:17:42.000 --> 0:17:46.160 you met her. Yeah, you met her. You didn't know her. 0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:49.160 You meet new people. I didn't move down here for you, bitch. 0:17:49.200 --> 0:17:51.960 I moved now here with my fiance. She didn't work 0:17:51.960 --> 0:17:53.760 out with him, but I met you, we hit it off. 0:17:54.080 --> 0:17:56.600 It sounds to me like she had a little fucking pimp, honestly, 0:17:57.040 --> 0:18:01.080 And UM, I'm just keeping that ship. Really, I'm not 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:02.640 saying she don't love you. I'm not saying you don't 0:18:02.640 --> 0:18:05.280 have a connection. All I'm saying is it sounds as 0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:08.679 if she doesn't want to be with you, but she 0:18:08.720 --> 0:18:12.080 doesn't want you to be with anybody else. She doesn't 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:14.760 want to see you with anybody else. You've already started 0:18:14.800 --> 0:18:17.919 building whatever. This is. A situation ship is what I 0:18:18.000 --> 0:18:21.080 call it. Um, you've already started building that with her, 0:18:21.840 --> 0:18:24.119 But you weren't the only one that she was building 0:18:24.160 --> 0:18:29.760 that with. Because the only reason why she would say, 0:18:29.880 --> 0:18:32.480 after y'all getting to know each other, and she just 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:36.439 throws a speed up in. They're like, look, all I 0:18:36.520 --> 0:18:38.879 want is just to be friends. I don't want to 0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:41.800 take it any further. She was probably working on something 0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:45.200 with someone else, waiting for them to get their ship together. 0:18:45.240 --> 0:18:48.159 She was probably already involved with someone, like I always 0:18:48.160 --> 0:18:53.040 tell everybody, Like I always tell people, nobody just talks 0:18:53.080 --> 0:18:56.159 to no one. Somebody like, if I go outside and 0:18:56.200 --> 0:18:58.480 meet a guy right now, you know, and I have 0:18:58.520 --> 0:19:00.680 a boyfriend. But if I didn't, I want to go 0:19:01.000 --> 0:19:04.719 try to date someone, They're gonna have people in their 0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:07.000 phone that they're talking to. No nobody is just talking 0:19:07.040 --> 0:19:09.960 to no one, you know, And I don't care. People 0:19:10.000 --> 0:19:12.600 can people some of you, all listeners gonna be like, oh, no, 0:19:12.760 --> 0:19:15.280 ounts out, nobody outside, nobody, No, it's somebody. I ain't 0:19:15.320 --> 0:19:17.240 saying you gotta be having sex to somebody. I'm not 0:19:17.280 --> 0:19:19.320 saying you've gotta be intimate with somebody. I'm not saying 0:19:19.440 --> 0:19:21.920 that you have to be going on dates with someone physically. 0:19:21.960 --> 0:19:26.360 But you are talking to somebody, whether it's just a 0:19:26.440 --> 0:19:29.000 high or what you're doing, or when I'm gonna come 0:19:29.000 --> 0:19:31.880 and see you, or there is somebody. Some everybody got 0:19:31.920 --> 0:19:34.520 somebody that they talking to one or more people. That's 0:19:34.520 --> 0:19:37.920 just how it goes. That's how it is. And um, 0:19:38.000 --> 0:19:40.600 a lot of people these days date with the notion 0:19:40.640 --> 0:19:42.280 that it won't last. So they like to have ship 0:19:42.280 --> 0:19:44.880 in the back pocket. They like to have more than 0:19:44.960 --> 0:19:48.399 one option. They like to have options. You know, people 0:19:48.560 --> 0:19:52.200 date with options, which is not good for anybody. That 0:19:52.240 --> 0:19:56.280 ship is not good. Ship is actually it's disloyalty at 0:19:56.280 --> 0:19:58.960 its best, Like it's it's It doesn't build loyalty at all, 0:19:59.080 --> 0:20:03.280 it doesn't build faithfulness at all. So, um, that's what 0:20:03.359 --> 0:20:05.719 it sounds like. Though it sounds like to me that 0:20:05.720 --> 0:20:07.880 that you are making the right decision. You just need 0:20:08.040 --> 0:20:10.800 for someone to confirm it for you. Yes, you're doing 0:20:10.840 --> 0:20:13.520 the right thing. You should sever tise with her. I 0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:16.359 think you should just distance yourself. You love her the death, 0:20:16.440 --> 0:20:18.480 Yes you want her around and all that, but she 0:20:19.119 --> 0:20:21.840 seems like a very toxic person and she seems like 0:20:21.880 --> 0:20:24.760 she's not even ready to be in a relationship. She 0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:27.240 doesn't want one. She clearly told you that. So you 0:20:27.359 --> 0:20:31.640 only have to do what's best for you and date 0:20:31.720 --> 0:20:35.280 around until you find what you want. You know, don't 0:20:35.320 --> 0:20:38.600 hold yourself high stitch to her while she's out here 0:20:38.720 --> 0:20:42.280 playing fucking games, because that's what she's doing, talking about 0:20:43.160 --> 0:20:46.040 how low manipulating it is, talking about, Oh, you don't 0:20:46.040 --> 0:20:47.919 know these people. You don't know these people here? What 0:20:47.960 --> 0:20:49.960 the funk? Are you my protector and save you? I 0:20:49.960 --> 0:20:52.640 didn't know your ass and I've seen you getting numbers 0:20:52.680 --> 0:20:54.240 and you aren't about me getting somebody. Now, I work 0:20:54.240 --> 0:20:56.600 at a ball let's get bit just drunk, and then 0:20:56.600 --> 0:20:59.600 they want me. What do you expect? That's it, ship, 0:20:59.720 --> 0:21:03.840 that's all. It's in a nutshell. But you checked back 0:21:03.880 --> 0:21:05.840 in with me. Yes, I do think that you need 0:21:05.880 --> 0:21:08.840 to have a conversation with her. Everything like the first 0:21:08.920 --> 0:21:11.359 key of everything, all these stories that you guys were 0:21:11.400 --> 0:21:14.280 giving me from week to week. It's communication. Nobody really 0:21:14.280 --> 0:21:17.480 knows how to communicate their feelings, and it's easier to 0:21:17.480 --> 0:21:20.160 talk to somebody else about it who don't know either 0:21:20.240 --> 0:21:22.760 of you or who actually only knows you. But then 0:21:22.800 --> 0:21:24.879 that's when you get biased opinions when you talk to 0:21:24.960 --> 0:21:28.960 people who know you and who you know. I only 0:21:28.960 --> 0:21:30.639 want to see the best for you, and that's not 0:21:30.640 --> 0:21:35.520 always bad. But you guys need to know how to 0:21:35.600 --> 0:21:38.280 talk to the people that are that you're in these 0:21:38.320 --> 0:21:41.680 relationships with that you're going through these obstacles with. Learn 0:21:41.720 --> 0:21:43.879 how to talk. You know what I'm saying. I think 0:21:43.920 --> 0:21:46.520 you should talk to her and tell her exactly why 0:21:47.040 --> 0:21:49.800 you are distancing yourself because she do ship like pop 0:21:49.880 --> 0:21:51.560 up at your job and ship and she does. I'm 0:21:51.560 --> 0:21:53.560 pretty sure she know where you live. Y'all were actually 0:21:53.760 --> 0:21:56.080 getting to know each other and not actually on your 0:21:56.119 --> 0:21:58.600 way to a relationship, but then she stopped it. So 0:22:00.480 --> 0:22:03.879 be careful, definitely, you know, sound like a crazy little pimp, 0:22:04.080 --> 0:22:07.720 you know, but communicate that with her. Keep that line 0:22:07.720 --> 0:22:10.680 of communication open, just to communicate that, and then close 0:22:10.800 --> 0:22:13.520 that ship off. Okay, you don't want nothing else to 0:22:13.560 --> 0:22:16.640 do with that until she come correct, she ain't gotta 0:22:16.640 --> 0:22:19.760