1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:02,880 Speaker 1: For the first time in US history, we are no 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:07,640 Speaker 1: longer at replacement level. Wire fertility and birth rates falling. 3 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:11,120 Speaker 1: It has a lot to do with social and cultural practices. 4 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:14,680 Speaker 1: Doctor Drew Pinsky is my guest. Are we addicted to 5 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:18,040 Speaker 1: our own demise? Among other things? It's all ahead on 6 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:31,200 Speaker 1: a royal grande. Come on, hey, everybody, go subscribe to 7 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: the show. Turn the notifications on so you know what's coming. 8 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:36,280 Speaker 1: And if you'd like to support the show, please visit 9 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 1: Raymondarroyo dot com. We rely on your contributions to keep 10 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:42,919 Speaker 1: the show coming. In this new year, the US is 11 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 1: no longer at replacement level. We are losing more people 12 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 1: than are being born. Time was, women had two point 13 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:53,560 Speaker 1: one children each. Now that number is plummeted to one 14 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: point six children in twenty twenty five. If you think 15 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:01,320 Speaker 1: birth rates are something you can ignore, consider what this 16 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:06,400 Speaker 1: is going to mean to the economy, social security, maintaining 17 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:11,160 Speaker 1: a vibrant, innovative culture a society. All of Europe, Japan, 18 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:15,960 Speaker 1: and the US are all facing demographic winters. What's driving 19 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 1: the collapse of births and fertility. I'll get into some 20 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:21,520 Speaker 1: of the factors with doctor Drew Pinsky in a moment. 21 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,240 Speaker 1: Here's a little cultural pro and con that I've observed. 22 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,720 Speaker 1: On the positive side, I do see movements of young 23 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 1: people who have gotten the memo that having children is 24 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,959 Speaker 1: an important part of life. In fact, it may be 25 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:37,679 Speaker 1: the most consequential part of life. I saw this movie, 26 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: Marty Supreme Over the Break, which is going to win 27 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 1: all kinds of awards this season. Timothy Shallomey plays a weasily, selfish, sneaky, 28 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,880 Speaker 1: little ping pong wonder kind. The movie's really well done, 29 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 1: but its cultural importance is the way it opens and ends. 30 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: It begins with Marty having sex with a woman in 31 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 1: the stock room of a shoe story works in The 32 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 1: entire opening sequence consists of a microscopic view of the 33 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 1: miracle of life, a little swimmer making its way into 34 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 1: a waiting egg. That visual is critical because it underscores 35 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,720 Speaker 1: not only what matters most, but it overshadows the entire 36 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: movie as Marty connives and cons his way from one 37 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 1: exploit to another. The movie ends with the character confronting 38 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:28,160 Speaker 1: the child we saw created at the opening. He weeps 39 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:33,400 Speaker 1: in awe and contrition as he realizes his purpose in 40 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 1: shocking stark relief. When I saw it I thought this 41 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 1: is fantastic cinema because it takes us through the mess 42 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: and the drama of this kid's life to truth. Now 43 00:02:44,639 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 1: for the negative side of the cultural alledger, we built 44 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:52,560 Speaker 1: an entire pop culture that prizes looks over substance, flash 45 00:02:52,919 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 1: over sacrifice, and imagined fiction's over reality. Sadly, unlike Marty Supremium, 46 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:04,639 Speaker 1: people are picking up on that message too. Take Clovicular, 47 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:09,480 Speaker 1: He's a looks maxing social media influencer. He's been making 48 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 1: the rounds recently hawking his approach to maxing his looks 49 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:17,240 Speaker 1: and dominating other guys or whatever that means. His fitness 50 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:24,080 Speaker 1: regime includes injectables, surgeries, and hormone replacement, which strikes me 51 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,320 Speaker 1: as a little less than masculine, but maybe I'm just 52 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:29,560 Speaker 1: old school. The other little problem he has is one 53 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 1: that I would think is important to most guys. 54 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:38,880 Speaker 2: So right now, I am infertile, but I'm not able 55 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 2: to have a kid right now. But if I wanted to, 56 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 2: there's a protocol I can put in place that be 57 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:44,360 Speaker 2: immediately going to get. 58 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 1: Why are you inferal right now? 59 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 2: So there's just like a negative feedback loop when you're 60 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 2: not needing to produce the saucer anymore because your body realizes, okay, 61 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 2: we're getting it from an ego. 62 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: You're not producing any software nationally. No, So Clavicular is 63 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:03,360 Speaker 1: essentially a vanity. He's trading his fertility for the appearance 64 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,720 Speaker 1: of health. This is like the bro version of the substance. 65 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 1: Remember that movie with Demi Moore from last year. He's 66 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,000 Speaker 1: nineteen years old. You're not going to get much better 67 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,279 Speaker 1: looking or more healthy than when you're nineteen. Whatever is protocol, 68 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 1: It's neither sustainable nor healthy. Clavicular. Let me offer a 69 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:25,680 Speaker 1: few words of caution. This is actor Mickey Rourke, who 70 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,719 Speaker 1: also used steroids back in the day. 71 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:33,040 Speaker 3: This is him now. Guess what, He has no biological 72 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 3: children either. 73 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:38,479 Speaker 1: He's a fantastic actor now basically unemployable because of his 74 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 1: smashed up looks. As a mentor of mine used to say, 75 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:46,160 Speaker 1: nothing lasts forever. I'm all for people looking their best, 76 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:50,359 Speaker 1: but they're better ways of accomplishing that than sacrificing the 77 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:55,240 Speaker 1: ability to have children. And this anti fertility trend bespeaks 78 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:59,239 Speaker 1: something more ominous, a lack of faith in your future, 79 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:03,600 Speaker 1: hate of self, and the death of a people and 80 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:07,120 Speaker 1: a nation. We're going to get into this extinction, addiction, 81 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 1: and a few others with doctor Drew Pinsky. Of course, 82 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: doctor Drew is an internist, an addiction medical specialist, and 83 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 1: a media maven. I learned a lot about the good doctor. 84 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,719 Speaker 1: I didn't know he was a singer, or that his 85 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 1: daughter struggled with addiction. And did you know that it 86 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 1: was doctor Drew who helped popularize the stoics. 87 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:31,080 Speaker 3: Wait until the end of the show for that story. 88 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 3: His doctor Drew Pinsky. 89 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:37,279 Speaker 1: Tell me what's happening to the birth rates we're seeing 90 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:40,880 Speaker 1: in this country. Birth rates are down, fertility is down. 91 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:44,000 Speaker 3: They're collapsing. But what's driving that, Well, we don't know 92 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 3: for sure. I can tell you I talked to a 93 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:51,279 Speaker 3: lot of young people and they are not fraternizing. We 94 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:54,160 Speaker 3: have vilified young males. This is the opposite problem you 95 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 3: say have that's on Loveline all those years that I 96 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,280 Speaker 3: now present myself to younger people well as a time traveler, 97 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 3: and what I tell them is, I've come to you 98 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 3: from a past era. I'm here to deliver some information 99 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 3: I was part of having conversations about sexual behavior. I 100 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,680 Speaker 3: didn't intend this. I did not intend us to get 101 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:18,160 Speaker 3: right here. This is not good. This is not at 102 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 3: all what I had in mind. Wow, And the fact 103 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:24,560 Speaker 3: that young people have no skill in dating courtship is 104 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 3: a bad word. Men feel like they're toxic and ashamed, 105 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:31,080 Speaker 3: and they don't know how to approach somebody that might 106 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 3: be interested in Women are confused. 107 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:33,480 Speaker 1: Where the men? 108 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 3: Why aren't they approaching us? They were told not to. 109 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 1: Right and literally me too. 110 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 3: Literally men in their mid thirties are really I don't 111 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 3: have the skill set necessary to do dating. So those 112 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,720 Speaker 3: kinds of things are happening. And then there's porn, and 113 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 3: then there's porn, and then there's video games. And so 114 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:55,280 Speaker 3: if you look at young males sort of functioning in 115 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:58,839 Speaker 3: the workplace and socially, when you see it start to 116 00:06:58,839 --> 00:06:59,679 Speaker 3: go down, you find. 117 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,679 Speaker 1: Porning video game. But porn. Porn is the crack pipe. 118 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,280 Speaker 3: You know, having a phone in your hand is like 119 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,400 Speaker 3: if you're prone to compulsion around porn, it's like having 120 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 3: a crack pipe. And what I was hearing, I had 121 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 3: a show in your mom's house for a while. I 122 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,160 Speaker 3: was talking a lot of young people, and what I 123 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 3: was hearing was, you know, I don't want to be 124 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 3: seen as toxic and women are kind of a lot 125 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:21,680 Speaker 3: of work, and I don't know how to, you know, 126 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:23,320 Speaker 3: And I'm good with the porn. 127 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:23,800 Speaker 1: I'm fine. 128 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 3: And then I started hearing about prostitutes, which is something 129 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 3: I had never heard about in my whole career. So 130 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 3: that was starting to happen. I don't know if it 131 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 3: still is or not, but that sort of shocked me. Yeah, 132 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 3: and we live in a world where you're not allowed 133 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:39,480 Speaker 3: to say anything at all concerning about sexual behavior. Everything 134 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,880 Speaker 3: must be sex positive. Yes, and that's a huge mistake. Yeah, 135 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,320 Speaker 3: it's such the biggest healthy behavior. 136 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:46,000 Speaker 1: That's such a thing. 137 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:49,200 Speaker 3: Then we got to worry about men's sperm count and 138 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:52,080 Speaker 3: you know whether or not, and women waiting too long 139 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 3: to have you. 140 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 1: Can't have children? Why the fertility rates are through the floor. 141 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 3: Where that where the low testosterone and the lower sperm pound? 142 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 3: Where is that coming from? Is that food additives? Is 143 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:06,280 Speaker 3: that over being overweight? Is that our lack of who 144 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:10,920 Speaker 3: knows well all this contributing. It's a giant Yeah, the plastics. 145 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 3: It is a giant sort of series of unfortunate events. 146 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:16,920 Speaker 1: Realize what it is. I want to tell you about 147 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:21,800 Speaker 1: Ave Maria Mutual funds. Ave Maria isn't just about investing 148 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 1: it's about living your values. As someone who cares deeply 149 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 1: about faith and family, and as an ave Maria investor myself, 150 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:34,560 Speaker 1: for years, I've always believed where we put our money matters. 151 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 1: Working with ave Maria Mutual Funds has shown me you 152 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 1: don't have to compromise your principles to achieve financial success. 153 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:48,360 Speaker 1: Their team ensures every investment reflects Catholic teaching, and that 154 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 1: gives me peace of mind. For me, it's not just 155 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:56,960 Speaker 1: about returns. It's about integrity, purpose and making a difference. 156 00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: That's why I'm proud to stand with ave Maria Mutual Funds. 157 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 1: Learn more at Avemaria Funds dot com, slash raymond. That's 158 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 1: ave Maria Funds dot com slash Raymond. All mutual funds 159 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 1: are subject to market risk, including possible loss of principle. 160 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:20,960 Speaker 1: Request of Perspectives which includes investment objectives, risks, fees, charges 161 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,679 Speaker 1: and expenses, and other information that you should read and 162 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:28,760 Speaker 1: consider carefully before investing. You can get the prospectives by 163 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:33,960 Speaker 1: calling eight six six two eight three six two seven four, 164 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:38,400 Speaker 1: or you can view it at Avemaria Funds dot com. 165 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:43,360 Speaker 1: Avemiria Mutual Funds are distributed by Ultimus Funds. Distributors LLC. 166 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:47,439 Speaker 1: How do we break that? I mean, you see the 167 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:51,680 Speaker 1: porn thing. Yeah, this is a This is a sleeping 168 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:55,439 Speaker 1: giant among young men. I mean they are they are 169 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:59,240 Speaker 1: fully addicted to this and that, and you watch them 170 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:03,120 Speaker 1: in social se it's like they're dealing with a foreign 171 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,599 Speaker 1: life form or an entity that never encountered. 172 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:11,440 Speaker 3: Correct, because their most intimate moments were with themselves and 173 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 3: with an image of what a woman is supposed to be, 174 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:20,040 Speaker 3: but a human being actually is. You know, you're absolutely correct, And. 175 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,360 Speaker 1: How do you break that addiction? 176 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,240 Speaker 3: Well, let's just talk about where it comes from. One 177 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:25,199 Speaker 3: of the big source of the addiction is early porn exposures. 178 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,600 Speaker 3: So a lot of these guys have become compulsed men 179 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,600 Speaker 3: in particular, they've seen it under the age of ten, 180 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:34,120 Speaker 3: and that shatters the brain's upper limit of ability to 181 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,760 Speaker 3: regulate and it becomes sort of traumatic and it becomes 182 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 3: a traumatic reenactment and they become compulse surrounded. 183 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:39,720 Speaker 1: Yeah. 184 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,880 Speaker 3: Brain does not set up for that. And so how 185 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 3: do you break it? I mean, there's treatment. I mean, 186 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 3: there's a lot of good treatment out there, and there's 187 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 3: a whole twelve step network of people and that's a 188 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,839 Speaker 3: giant growing community now because a lot of people need it. 189 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, let's talk about the screens for a moment again, 190 00:10:54,520 --> 00:11:00,839 Speaker 1: young men. I pulled the numbers sports gambling drew more 191 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:04,640 Speaker 1: than fifty percent are young guys between twenty five and 192 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: thirty nine. States have now legalized gambling, so they're doing 193 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,080 Speaker 1: it on their couches, they're doing it on the way 194 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:16,200 Speaker 1: to work. And now you can micro gamble, which I 195 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 1: didn't realize. You can literally bet on the pitch, not 196 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,720 Speaker 1: the game. Oh yeah, this is unbelievable. 197 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 3: It's a lot and gambling, and let's be clear, gambling 198 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,640 Speaker 3: addiction is a real serious problem. You've that's very difficult 199 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:33,560 Speaker 3: for people. And again the crack pipe in your hand, 200 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:37,080 Speaker 3: if you're a gambling addict, there it is. But most 201 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,240 Speaker 3: people are not fully addicted in the sense they need treatment. 202 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:44,840 Speaker 3: It's just impairing their functioning and therefore is of real concern. 203 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 3: I mean generally functional impairment is where we talk about pathology. 204 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:53,600 Speaker 3: I think there's so much just sort of preoccupation with 205 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:57,880 Speaker 3: this and normal employment of it, that it's diverting them 206 00:11:57,920 --> 00:11:59,520 Speaker 3: from more productive endeavors. 207 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:04,040 Speaker 1: Well, I mean I've seen young men, I've seen them. 208 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:07,679 Speaker 1: You know, friends or acquaintances of my children, and the 209 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,880 Speaker 1: phone is in front of them with everything the way 210 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:12,199 Speaker 1: it's unbelievable. 211 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:16,360 Speaker 3: But every down, every pitch, every they're they're on it, 212 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,200 Speaker 3: and they think they're going to make a killing, and 213 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,840 Speaker 3: I'm like, where are they getting They're betting five ten dollars, 214 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,760 Speaker 3: increment's twenty five dollars, but it's hundreds and hundreds of dollars. 215 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:24,640 Speaker 1: Where are they getting the money? 216 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,400 Speaker 3: Some of them are blowing student loans. I heard of 217 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:28,760 Speaker 3: a kid who literally burned through his student loans. 218 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:31,200 Speaker 1: I'm betting that makes me sad. How do you break 219 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:31,960 Speaker 1: through this? Though? 220 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:38,320 Speaker 3: Well, okay, so generally how we break through in any 221 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:42,400 Speaker 3: compulsive behavior is two sort of strategies. One is exposure 222 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,640 Speaker 3: exposure therapies. There's not really an exposure therapies for this 223 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:51,959 Speaker 3: sort of thing. It's really about here's what's missing. Connection? Okay, 224 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:53,480 Speaker 3: so intimate connection. 225 00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:54,360 Speaker 1: They don't know how to. 226 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:58,199 Speaker 3: Do that, meaning making it is a does that mean 227 00:12:58,880 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 3: having a purposeful love? 228 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:00,720 Speaker 1: Making? 229 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,760 Speaker 3: Meaning having something you want to do and doing it 230 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,120 Speaker 3: and contribute and then making a difference for other people 231 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 3: you know, and then having some listen, having some sort 232 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:12,199 Speaker 3: of faith based something something bigger than yourself, and then hope. 233 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:16,200 Speaker 3: These are the basic principles of human servi human human thriving, 234 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:19,080 Speaker 3: and they have not changed. They are not different. But 235 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:24,560 Speaker 3: in particular what's really absent is the meaning making and 236 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:27,320 Speaker 3: then some sort of faith or some sort of something 237 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,680 Speaker 3: you know bigger than yourself, that you raise that. 238 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,959 Speaker 1: I read an interview that a Jewish magazine did with you, 239 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:38,160 Speaker 1: and you said, I'm not a very good Jew. I'm Jewish. 240 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:42,080 Speaker 3: What does that mean you of all people, Drew, I'm thinking, 241 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 3: if anybody understands the power of belief and faith, these 242 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,440 Speaker 3: twelve step programs, it's the heart of them. Yeah yeah, 243 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:52,240 Speaker 3: oh no, spirituality, power of it, spirituality per se. I 244 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:56,840 Speaker 3: am a huge supporter of But I get nervous about 245 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,840 Speaker 3: I get nervous isn't the right word. I don't feel 246 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:04,200 Speaker 3: it my position to push a particular organized religion or another. 247 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:07,160 Speaker 3: I feel like community in church or temple, and these 248 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 3: things are really really good, some sort of sense of 249 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:13,400 Speaker 3: something after fine, all good for people. 250 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 1: I wasn't. 251 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:17,360 Speaker 3: I was raised with a little bit of it and 252 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,200 Speaker 3: then sort of abandoned. And I always have a p 253 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:22,960 Speaker 3: This is where my own personal stuff gets in I 254 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 3: have a problem with clubs. I don't like clubs, and anytime. 255 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:32,080 Speaker 1: I don't want to be a member of it is 256 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,080 Speaker 1: a groucho Marx thing. 257 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:36,640 Speaker 3: But it's also I just anything that that excludes others. 258 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:39,440 Speaker 3: I immediately get uncomfortable. If there's any kind of special 259 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,880 Speaker 3: language or special this or special hand j I'm like, 260 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,920 Speaker 3: it's not for me. But but in terms of and 261 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,040 Speaker 3: I would say I've suffered because I don't have a 262 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:50,560 Speaker 3: really deep spiritual life. I'm trying, I really am, Especially 263 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,560 Speaker 3: because you get older, it's sort of a normal thing 264 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,320 Speaker 3: to start to think what's after this? 265 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,920 Speaker 1: Just in case there is a god? Yeah, what's after this? 266 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 3: And too, I was raised as a scientist at a 267 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:06,360 Speaker 3: time when there was not a lot of religious emphasis 268 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,680 Speaker 3: on anything. It was science was just you know, king 269 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:09,240 Speaker 3: at the time. 270 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,680 Speaker 1: So yeah, and we seem to be moving into an 271 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 1: area that permits there might have been a hand behind 272 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:16,480 Speaker 1: all this. 273 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 3: Now, at very minimum, our brains can only do so much, okay, 274 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 3: And then it is I have so many feelings about this, 275 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 3: I almost don't know where to start. To have some 276 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:37,240 Speaker 3: sort of spiritual something for the human beings seems to 277 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 3: be critically important and we've gone through a fifty or 278 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:45,600 Speaker 3: sixty year period of marginalizing that, yeah, and trivializing it. 279 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:50,360 Speaker 3: And I get it, but it is you see this 280 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 3: resurgon of young people coming to you do. 281 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:53,760 Speaker 1: It's funny. 282 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 3: I was talking to some young people the other day 283 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 3: and they were talking about sexual health and because I 284 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,880 Speaker 3: was talking about being a time traveler, is that what 285 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,800 Speaker 3: I attended? And they said, we are craving guidance and 286 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:08,520 Speaker 3: structure and tell us what to do and how this 287 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,840 Speaker 3: works and some guidelines, you know. And I thought, oh, 288 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:14,680 Speaker 3: that's good, but we need to help them get that. 289 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, they need to find it. Yeah. I want to 290 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:19,960 Speaker 1: talk about your journey, which I was fascinated by. You 291 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,280 Speaker 1: tell me why medicine. I know your father was a 292 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:29,480 Speaker 1: physician and your mother, Helene yeah Stanton, Yeah, was an 293 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,240 Speaker 1: actress and a singer. Yeah that's right. 294 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:37,840 Speaker 3: So I had both things fighting in my soul. But 295 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,960 Speaker 3: my dad was who I always identified with, and I 296 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,720 Speaker 3: always grew up to think can be a position. I 297 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:47,440 Speaker 3: really was very good at sciences and things, and I 298 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:51,920 Speaker 3: went off. I found hyperachievement in college and excuse me, 299 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:56,440 Speaker 3: in high school, and then pursueded to launch into workoholism 300 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,320 Speaker 3: for the rest of the most of my life at 301 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,320 Speaker 3: this very moment, not as bad as I used to be, 302 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,920 Speaker 3: but I was a severe severuce hereial rocolic. And I'm 303 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,040 Speaker 3: grateful for it because I had this unbelievable clinical experience 304 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,800 Speaker 3: where I saw everything I work in psychiatric hospital and 305 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,320 Speaker 3: ICUs and medical hospital. I just saw everything for years 306 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,880 Speaker 3: and I'm very grateful for it. But my soul suffered. 307 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:19,040 Speaker 3: My family suffered, no doubt because I was not around, 308 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:23,600 Speaker 3: and I apologize for that, but I'm not sure I 309 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:27,800 Speaker 3: could have done it differently. But I grew up thinking 310 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,000 Speaker 3: that would be the case. Went to college. Went to 311 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,520 Speaker 3: Amherst College, which was extremely rigorous and the sciences at 312 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:37,919 Speaker 3: the time did well. But I felt like the competition 313 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 3: was just too much like the people who were going 314 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,080 Speaker 3: to that I was competing with that we're going to 315 00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:43,399 Speaker 3: go to medical school. I was not up for that. 316 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,520 Speaker 1: That was not me. I couldn't do it. I couldn't 317 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,320 Speaker 1: do this. You had bouts with anxiety at the time. 318 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:47,800 Speaker 1: Oh well, so. 319 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,840 Speaker 3: That was not yet. So I said, I'm going to 320 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,760 Speaker 3: be an actor and musician. I'm gona be all these 321 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:57,520 Speaker 3: crazy things. And I left college for six months and 322 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,399 Speaker 3: pursue something was singing? 323 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,040 Speaker 1: Was that I was doing music? Was all kinds of 324 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,440 Speaker 1: crazy stuff. What kind of music? Opera? I was a 325 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,680 Speaker 1: pretty good opera singer. What were you study? Did you 326 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:08,960 Speaker 1: study voice at Ambers? 327 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:09,280 Speaker 3: Uh? 328 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 1: Yes, but I had a bad teacher. I came out here, 329 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:14,720 Speaker 1: I had a good teacher. 330 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,119 Speaker 3: I actually didn't get a great teacher until I was 331 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:17,879 Speaker 3: in medical school. 332 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:21,840 Speaker 1: I was still doing it as an avocation. Wow, And 333 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,479 Speaker 1: what did it teach you that you still use? I mean, 334 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,320 Speaker 1: aside from breathing technique. 335 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 3: Gosh, that's a great question. I think it impacted on 336 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,760 Speaker 3: my public speaking because to be able to get up, 337 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,439 Speaker 3: put your feet on the ground and give people something 338 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 3: that's kind of all public speaking that is Yeah. And 339 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,040 Speaker 3: the breath is everything. Oh, in the voice, having control 340 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 3: of your voice. And I was thinking the other day 341 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:48,440 Speaker 3: that they didn't. You were trained in this discipline and 342 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:51,840 Speaker 3: vocal production was a big deal. It was, and we 343 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,920 Speaker 3: don't do that anymore. And the voice is very impactful still. 344 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,200 Speaker 1: Well, you notice people today they all talk in the bad. 345 00:18:57,119 --> 00:19:00,880 Speaker 3: No addiction, no addiction, and no diagram. No, there's no 346 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,960 Speaker 3: sighs to the voices because they don't talk. They watch 347 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:08,080 Speaker 3: screens or talk in your house. It's not the same. 348 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,600 Speaker 1: It's just not the same. So you tell me about 349 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:11,159 Speaker 1: this tangent. 350 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,400 Speaker 3: So so I went off and I got very unhappy, 351 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,520 Speaker 3: very very very unhappy in the arts. 352 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:22,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I went to a come on tell it. 353 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,399 Speaker 3: I went to a school near here and did a 354 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:30,800 Speaker 3: semester and I was like, okay, I don't want to. 355 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:32,760 Speaker 3: I had to write a paper for someone, and I 356 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:36,240 Speaker 3: was going to the sort of they have these meetings 357 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 3: with graduate students afterwards, and I was writing this paper 358 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,200 Speaker 3: and he said, okay, I'm gonna give you guys. I'm 359 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,080 Speaker 3: gonna call you in and talk about your grades. And 360 00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 3: I thought, oh, Christ, here comes, you know. And he 361 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,200 Speaker 3: calls me in and he goes, this is the best 362 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,680 Speaker 3: paper I've ever read from an undergraduate. And I thought 363 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,160 Speaker 3: to myself, immediately, I have to get out of here, 364 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:59,240 Speaker 3: because I'm a B minus writer at Ambers College and. 365 00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:02,520 Speaker 1: This is what I got to get out of here immediately, immediately. Wow. 366 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,040 Speaker 1: And so I thought I got to go back to England. 367 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,160 Speaker 3: So I went back to New England, still not knowing, 368 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:09,159 Speaker 3: not happy, and not really understanding what I was going 369 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:12,280 Speaker 3: to do, and then started thinking one day I started 370 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:14,400 Speaker 3: having panic attacks and depression and all kinds of love 371 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,679 Speaker 3: this stuff, and I was so mismanaged. You don't have 372 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 3: time for that story. Yeah, it was terrible, but it 373 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:22,320 Speaker 3: made me interested in mental health, and in adolescent health 374 00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:25,199 Speaker 3: in particular, because that's what sort of led to all 375 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,200 Speaker 3: the radio stuff at the very beginning, because no one 376 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,200 Speaker 3: was serving adolescent health needs. 377 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,200 Speaker 1: It was no such thing. It were still a medical student. 378 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,880 Speaker 1: When they asked you. It was what asked the surgeon. 379 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:35,879 Speaker 1: Was the name of the show? What is it? 380 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:40,680 Speaker 3: Eighty four eighty three, eighty three the k Rock, which 381 00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:43,920 Speaker 3: became the home station. I lived across the street essentially 382 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:47,840 Speaker 3: from it, and because and that station became number one 383 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:50,520 Speaker 3: in Los Angeles overnight, so it's the number one radio 384 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 3: station run radio market in the country. All of a sudden, 385 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 3: this upstarting merges from nowhere, and people were stunned. But 386 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,720 Speaker 3: it was right across the street, and so people I 387 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,000 Speaker 3: knew were socializing there there. And finally I got a 388 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,480 Speaker 3: call from a friend of mine and goes, hey, you 389 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:04,760 Speaker 3: know that station. Now, yeah, we're all aware of it. 390 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:08,800 Speaker 3: And again, radio was so powerful, and people define themselves 391 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,600 Speaker 3: by what they listened to in the radio station they'd 392 00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 3: go to their. 393 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:11,600 Speaker 1: Events and things. 394 00:21:12,119 --> 00:21:13,960 Speaker 3: And he went on to describe that they had this 395 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,480 Speaker 3: show in the middle of the night where they were 396 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,399 Speaker 3: just taking questions and they needed to make it in 397 00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,400 Speaker 3: a community service show. It was called Loveline, and they 398 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,760 Speaker 3: want you to do a segment called ask a Surgeon. 399 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:26,280 Speaker 1: It'll be really funny. And I'm like, what happened? What 400 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:27,320 Speaker 1: is going on here? 401 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:31,679 Speaker 3: But I thought, you know, it sounds interesting, and I 402 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,919 Speaker 3: went up there and did it with my textbooks in 403 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,960 Speaker 3: hand and stuff. But I was like, oh my god, 404 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,199 Speaker 3: these this is eighteen to twenty four year olds or 405 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:42,600 Speaker 3: sixteen to twenty four year olds. They're calling a radio 406 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 3: station in the middle of the night for their most 407 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:48,679 Speaker 3: important health issues, and no one is talking to them 408 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,199 Speaker 3: about AIDS. No one had heard anything about AIDS. And 409 00:21:51,240 --> 00:21:53,080 Speaker 3: I thought, oh my god, I've got to keep coming back. 410 00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:55,480 Speaker 1: And so you saw the social importance of this and 411 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,960 Speaker 1: the importance to get this information out that wasn't gotten 412 00:21:59,000 --> 00:21:59,560 Speaker 1: anywhere one. 413 00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:02,560 Speaker 3: Hundred I just thought we had just been through the 414 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:07,720 Speaker 3: sexual Revolution, and nobody adults never contemplated what that revolution 415 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,280 Speaker 3: would do to adolescents and young adults. And I knew 416 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,960 Speaker 3: I was there. I saw what was happening, and I 417 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,440 Speaker 3: thought that they got to learn about STDs and there's 418 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 3: no reason people shouldn't just talk about it, and then 419 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:19,760 Speaker 3: they need to know about this deadly illness coming. 420 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,560 Speaker 1: And that was really what pushed me, was the aide. Wow. 421 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,520 Speaker 1: So then I want to go back for a moment 422 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:26,240 Speaker 1: because you told me a story earlier that I don't 423 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,640 Speaker 1: want to lose here. Okay, during your dalliance with the. 424 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 3: Arts, Yeah, yeah, you go to Stella Adler, who's out 425 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:34,720 Speaker 3: here in LA. 426 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,639 Speaker 1: He did a workshop. Well, I studied with it in 427 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,399 Speaker 1: New York. Isn't that crazy? Tell me what that was? Like? 428 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:40,600 Speaker 1: What did she tell you? 429 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,800 Speaker 3: She told me I should be an actor, that I 430 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,440 Speaker 3: was definitely supposed to be an actor and do that, 431 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:48,520 Speaker 3: and somehow she knew I was struggling and said, don't 432 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:52,159 Speaker 3: do medicine, be an actor, and I was like, this 433 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:52,720 Speaker 3: will be you. 434 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,000 Speaker 1: So one of those. 435 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:59,200 Speaker 3: And I think I also told you she Terry Garr 436 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,240 Speaker 3: was in the group and destroyed her, told her she'd 437 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 3: never work and the. 438 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:03,000 Speaker 1: Never be an actress. 439 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,640 Speaker 3: And so I'm like, maybe a judgment wasn't his key Sella's. 440 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:08,960 Speaker 1: I think I made the right choice. I think Terry 441 00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:09,560 Speaker 1: made the right show. 442 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,520 Speaker 3: Yes, I think to Stella's perceptions may have been a 443 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:13,280 Speaker 3: little off that did. 444 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:17,679 Speaker 1: But bringing it full circle, you do kind of bring 445 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:21,680 Speaker 1: an actor's drama to what you do. 446 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 3: I like, I really what I was left with after 447 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:28,239 Speaker 3: all of that, I still sing it, you know. I 448 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:31,360 Speaker 3: sing for the Dodgers and the and the King's I'll 449 00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:33,720 Speaker 3: do this national anthem stuff like that. So I still 450 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,040 Speaker 3: have fun with the voice. Yeah, but I really love 451 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,760 Speaker 3: public speaking. I love love love public speaking. I don't 452 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,280 Speaker 3: know why I love it so much. I love I 453 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,600 Speaker 3: love informing and moving an audience. 454 00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,520 Speaker 1: I love doing that. And radio was that every night, 455 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:49,040 Speaker 1: and so I naturally stayed with that, and then TV. 456 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,040 Speaker 1: Then you go to TV and TV. But TV was 457 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,439 Speaker 1: just like what a TV show? How do you do that? 458 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,199 Speaker 1: I don't know, It's like, tell me what to do? 459 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:57,280 Speaker 1: Where do I show up? 460 00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:59,679 Speaker 3: The amazing thing to me is, unlike a lot of 461 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:03,159 Speaker 3: these the doctors and I couldn't name, they kind of 462 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:07,240 Speaker 3: gave up practicing and became TV shows. 463 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,960 Speaker 1: You kept practicing. It never a period. 464 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:13,280 Speaker 3: It never made sense to me when Loveline on MTV 465 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:17,760 Speaker 3: came first of all, when they when the radio show 466 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,119 Speaker 3: went five nights a week. I'm like, how am I 467 00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:20,520 Speaker 3: going to do that? Because I wasn't getting home till 468 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,440 Speaker 3: ten at night. Oh, I was getting up at five 469 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:23,159 Speaker 3: and coming home in ten. 470 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:23,880 Speaker 1: That was my day. 471 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 3: Severe workaholism. But I managed to kind of learn how 472 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:31,640 Speaker 3: to dealcate a little bit, take a nap in the afternoon. No, no, 473 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:35,000 Speaker 3: just no sleep for years and years. Wow, but I could. 474 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,719 Speaker 3: I could downsize a little bit of them. I ended 475 00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,359 Speaker 3: up not doing all the medical services at the psychiatric 476 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,960 Speaker 3: hospital and doing all the addiction services, so that gave 477 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:47,719 Speaker 3: me some flexibility there. And I was like, all I 478 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:52,960 Speaker 3: have is Friday afternoon and Saturday afternoon. 479 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,120 Speaker 1: That's it, and maybe Saturday it's maybe a ten. 480 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,399 Speaker 3: We could if I could do my nursing home rounds 481 00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,479 Speaker 3: in the morning, I could be there by ten and 482 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:00,520 Speaker 3: you could have that day. 483 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:01,920 Speaker 1: And they went fine. 484 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:03,960 Speaker 3: And we would do that and we would do six 485 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:07,320 Speaker 3: shows a week in those two days, or maybe eight sometimes, 486 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:08,920 Speaker 3: and Adam and I didn't know any better. 487 00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:10,640 Speaker 1: We're like, okay, I would change a clothes, do another one, 488 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:11,680 Speaker 1: change your clothes, do another one. 489 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:15,119 Speaker 4: And I believe and it was we just just didn't 490 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:20,080 Speaker 4: we do But I mean the training you had in addiction, 491 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:26,600 Speaker 4: in general medicine, it did bring a heft and a gravitas. 492 00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:28,080 Speaker 1: Today, Yes, we need it. 493 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,880 Speaker 3: At the time, yes, and and well, and we had 494 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:37,159 Speaker 3: a philosophy we were suggesting, which now we have to 495 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,280 Speaker 3: adjust it a little bit. At the time we said 496 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,720 Speaker 3: it's the Gainsburger and the pill. Now you'd say maybe 497 00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,760 Speaker 3: turkey and pill, because no one knows what a gainsburg say, 498 00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,040 Speaker 3: which was, if you want to give a dog a pill, 499 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,920 Speaker 3: you got to wrap it in something tasty. Adams was tasty. 500 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,199 Speaker 3: I'm the pill, and so I just kept delivering the 501 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:56,160 Speaker 3: information the best I could. Huh, And I really knew 502 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,920 Speaker 3: I got what was happening. I could see it, I 503 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,200 Speaker 3: thought to him, So how do we learn in medical school? 504 00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,760 Speaker 3: You learn from cases cases. Experiential learning is the best. 505 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,200 Speaker 3: And so the caller would be the case. I would 506 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 3: explicate it, and the listener viewer would identify with the caller, 507 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:13,359 Speaker 3: and I would be able to sort of drop in 508 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,280 Speaker 3: on the heels of that with some information. T Mom 509 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,159 Speaker 3: was the exact same thing, Yeah, I knew would be. 510 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,680 Speaker 1: The same. Shows, Celebrity Rehab and. 511 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:24,160 Speaker 3: Similar these all had similar kinds of which is I'm 512 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:27,359 Speaker 3: using an entertaining vehicle to give you information you need? 513 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:30,320 Speaker 1: And is that is that kind of the through line 514 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:33,320 Speaker 1: to the Doctor Drew formula. It is one hundred percent 515 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,439 Speaker 1: my formula. To put yourself in the middle of the culture, 516 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,520 Speaker 1: using people that are important to it. Boy, that there's 517 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:39,880 Speaker 1: a lot loaded into that statement. 518 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:44,720 Speaker 3: To be willing to go places I don't belong, which 519 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,680 Speaker 3: is what the willingness to do that with comedians or 520 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:53,119 Speaker 3: with you know whatever. And to use the cultural zeite 521 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,600 Speaker 3: guys to kind of reach people. Yes, to be the 522 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,320 Speaker 3: so I can be the pill on the heels of that. 523 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,320 Speaker 1: But it's I mean, by my count I may be wrong. 524 00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:05,080 Speaker 1: Eight reality shows you. 525 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:09,719 Speaker 3: Were I have never accounted you could. I think I 526 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:13,800 Speaker 3: have this. I have a very strange history and that 527 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:18,359 Speaker 3: I've been involved with several hits. That's extremely unusual, and 528 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:22,080 Speaker 3: I didn't know it until I looked back at a 529 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:26,360 Speaker 3: time when hits were important. That's it's a big dull. 530 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,280 Speaker 3: I mean, millions of people meant to hit. 531 00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:30,680 Speaker 1: That's true. That's true. That's no longer the case. 532 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:35,480 Speaker 3: We are ratings on Loveline every night on MTV. People 533 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,119 Speaker 3: don't even know that existed. Was about the same as 534 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:41,160 Speaker 3: what Kimmell gets down. So no, not even now. We've 535 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,760 Speaker 3: probably beat them now, but the same as what Fox 536 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:45,240 Speaker 3: gets now. 537 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,000 Speaker 1: It's huge, not know, it's huge. It was huge. People 538 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,480 Speaker 1: don't realize. Tens of millions of people were watched, you know, 539 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:55,680 Speaker 1: broadcast television, cable television was getting in the MTV or 540 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:56,960 Speaker 1: three million people. 541 00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,600 Speaker 3: Formerllion people were watching these shows. Yeah, and it was 542 00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:02,719 Speaker 3: young people, which everybody was a major domage. 543 00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,840 Speaker 1: Everybody wanted to do. It was an incredible time. 544 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:08,000 Speaker 3: It was a fun time, and I do believe we've 545 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:12,840 Speaker 3: lost track of fun. Yeah, and I'm extremely worried about 546 00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,360 Speaker 3: young people right now. They seem to be suffering and 547 00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 3: I want to help. I don't know how I can. 548 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,400 Speaker 1: But well, you study anxiety, you study this. We see 549 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:21,280 Speaker 1: the isolation. 550 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:25,280 Speaker 3: Well again the meaning maker and the connection and the intimacy, 551 00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:29,440 Speaker 3: but also we need to emphasize the need to lean 552 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:33,640 Speaker 3: into discomfort. Look when when Sigmund Freud got to this country. 553 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:35,600 Speaker 3: There's a story that may or may not be apocryphal, 554 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 3: that the reporters got to him right on the docs 555 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:40,760 Speaker 3: and it's after doctor Ford. What do you expect to 556 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,960 Speaker 3: accomplish here in America? And he said, well, I hope 557 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:48,480 Speaker 3: to one day understand the difference between true psychopathology and 558 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:54,120 Speaker 3: ordinary misery, and we do not tolerate ordinary misery. Is good, right, 559 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,760 Speaker 3: It's what creates strength and resiliency. And we have to 560 00:28:56,880 --> 00:29:00,200 Speaker 3: lean into discomfort, not put people in safe space. Is 561 00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:05,440 Speaker 3: that makes them sick, and so leaning, encouraging, supporting, you know, 562 00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,880 Speaker 3: explaining what intimacy is so they can give back to it. 563 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,880 Speaker 3: Human This is where my optimism comes in. Human have 564 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:17,960 Speaker 3: a huge natural inclination for reality and for connection, and 565 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,520 Speaker 3: so it comes out, it comes through. 566 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:23,480 Speaker 1: It's interesting to me that you gave advice for so long, 567 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,520 Speaker 1: but looking at your example, you've been married to the 568 00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,880 Speaker 1: same woman for thirty plus years. Forty yeah, thirty, I've 569 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:34,360 Speaker 1: been together forty wow, three beautiful children, triplets. Unfortunately, the 570 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:35,920 Speaker 1: three beautiful children came at once. 571 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,200 Speaker 3: Oh my god, when we have PTS. We have a 572 00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:41,360 Speaker 3: granddaughter now, and my wife just just started helling PTSD 573 00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,920 Speaker 3: symptoms being around the baby because it brings us back 574 00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:47,840 Speaker 3: to that time. But she was complaining about this a 575 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:49,200 Speaker 3: couple of days ago. She goes, you know, what do 576 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:51,440 Speaker 3: I tell people when they say we're the perfect relationship? 577 00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:53,400 Speaker 3: We have we have problems and everybody else and I 578 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:55,640 Speaker 3: said yes, I said, but here's what I say, And 579 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:56,760 Speaker 3: because people do want to know. 580 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, two things. 581 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:03,680 Speaker 3: One, there was really something there at the beginning, like 582 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,959 Speaker 3: like if you really are excited to be around that 583 00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:09,040 Speaker 3: person and if it just just feels right. And by 584 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,720 Speaker 3: the way I went, I encountered her twice and had 585 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:13,640 Speaker 3: the same weird, intense reaction. 586 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,280 Speaker 1: Did you meet? 587 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:18,400 Speaker 3: First we met at a bar and she blew me off, 588 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:22,200 Speaker 3: and then we met through radio she was she was yeah, 589 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,120 Speaker 3: and I didn't know it was the same person, But 590 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,080 Speaker 3: I had the same reaction where I had. 591 00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:26,560 Speaker 1: To talk to her. 592 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:31,000 Speaker 3: Never ever had that before, and I was didn't realize 593 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:32,800 Speaker 3: the same person until we've been dating like a year. 594 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:34,400 Speaker 3: It was weird because I found a picture of that 595 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:37,920 Speaker 3: night where she blew me off and devastated me. But 596 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:42,080 Speaker 3: but as it pertains to what our advice is, I say, 597 00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,760 Speaker 3: two things, So make sure it's somebody you really really 598 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:46,920 Speaker 3: really really really want to be around, and you're really 599 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,240 Speaker 3: into that person and excited to be around them, because 600 00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:53,080 Speaker 3: there's a there's a fuel to that passion that can 601 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:56,280 Speaker 3: can be there a long time. And then the other 602 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:59,280 Speaker 3: part and my tongue is embedded in my cheek. But 603 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:02,800 Speaker 3: I also mean it. Lots of mental health services. They 604 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,760 Speaker 3: were My kids have all had them. We've had them. 605 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:11,240 Speaker 3: I've had them. They're important and and and it's funny therapy. 606 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:13,720 Speaker 3: I was in therapy for years, years and years and 607 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,560 Speaker 3: it because that work. All this was so bad and 608 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:18,840 Speaker 3: uh and I had PTSC. One of our kids needed 609 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,000 Speaker 3: surgery at age one. It was a crazy, crazy time. 610 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:26,200 Speaker 3: But Florence Henderson's husband was a therapist and he was 611 00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:29,680 Speaker 3: on Loveline years ago, and he said we were talking 612 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:32,120 Speaker 3: about attraction and things that he goes, Oh, yeah, attraction 613 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:35,120 Speaker 3: is just the sickest part of one person responding to 614 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,000 Speaker 3: the sickest part of another person. I was like, yeah, 615 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,720 Speaker 3: that's it. But we need that, we need that. He said, yes, 616 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:44,320 Speaker 3: he goes, it can be extremely intense, passionate glue in 617 00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,560 Speaker 3: a relationship. But he said, he said this, said you, 618 00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:48,600 Speaker 3: I'll never forget this guy. He was a nice guy. 619 00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:53,520 Speaker 3: He said, you have to have process mental health services. 620 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,040 Speaker 3: You have to have some sort of ongoing to keep 621 00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:59,240 Speaker 3: you through the the things happen, you know, and and 622 00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 3: and and by the way, way, if you're inclued together 623 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:04,600 Speaker 3: by some pathologies there you better pay attention to those. 624 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:07,760 Speaker 1: How do you find the right therapists? Though, I know. 625 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:10,240 Speaker 1: Here's the other thing I will tell you. I'm a 626 00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:15,280 Speaker 1: therapist skeptic doctor for this reason. It never ends. I 627 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:16,240 Speaker 1: went for a long time. 628 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:20,400 Speaker 3: It did end, you know, and even a good show 629 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:23,320 Speaker 3: or a game it ends, or a good TV show, 630 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:29,000 Speaker 3: life ends. But this goes well, it can. It depends 631 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:29,760 Speaker 3: what the these are. 632 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,720 Speaker 1: Really. It's different things for different circumstances. But you should 633 00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:33,880 Speaker 1: go for a targeted reason. 634 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:38,960 Speaker 3: You would say yes, yes, I mean I at first, 635 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:42,840 Speaker 3: you know, I had kind of an abusive relationship with 636 00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:46,280 Speaker 3: my mother early and I had some trauma stuff I 637 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:46,800 Speaker 3: had to deal with. 638 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:47,920 Speaker 1: And back then. 639 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:51,440 Speaker 3: This is now, the early nineties, they didn't have as 640 00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,760 Speaker 3: much good trauma therapy. It took a lot longer back then, 641 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:55,560 Speaker 3: and I had great therapy and it worked. 642 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:57,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And. 643 00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:01,320 Speaker 3: My workolism settled a little bit and I became able 644 00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:04,560 Speaker 3: to delegate, which I could not do before that point. 645 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:08,320 Speaker 3: Being I was able to get a referral from psychiatric peers. 646 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:09,840 Speaker 3: I was around psychiatrist all the time. I got a 647 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:13,400 Speaker 3: great referral, I got the treatment. Beyond that, I would 648 00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:15,960 Speaker 3: just say, make sure pay attention to the letters after 649 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,520 Speaker 3: somebody's name. You want you know that you want MD, PhD, 650 00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:23,000 Speaker 3: SID at least to start, and then then you can 651 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:25,280 Speaker 3: go down to a lower level if it's appropriate, right 652 00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:27,800 Speaker 3: and ask people where they were trained and how they 653 00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:30,760 Speaker 3: were trained. People who were really well trained one to 654 00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:33,680 Speaker 3: tell you about their training and their level of sophistication. 655 00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,040 Speaker 3: I remember we were on our honeymoon. We were with 656 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:38,080 Speaker 3: a psychoanalyst psychiatry. He goes, no one ever asked me 657 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:39,720 Speaker 3: about my training because I want to tell them, but 658 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:44,720 Speaker 3: they never asked about And it should be somebody that 659 00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:48,560 Speaker 3: don't go to a therapist that people say is so great. 660 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,080 Speaker 3: I felt so great afterwards. You should not feel great 661 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:54,080 Speaker 3: after a psychotherap. You should feel challenged, you should feel stirred, 662 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:57,280 Speaker 3: you should feel uncomfortable, and somebody goes, oh, she makes 663 00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:58,320 Speaker 3: me feel great. 664 00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:01,200 Speaker 1: The other way, Aha, how did you get all those 665 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:05,080 Speaker 1: celebrities to come on that rehab show? On Celebrity Rehab? 666 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,080 Speaker 1: I always said, how did you? 667 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:10,640 Speaker 3: I didn't do it? They can producers. Yeah, they came 668 00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:13,280 Speaker 3: to me to do that show, and it's a long 669 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:13,839 Speaker 3: story there. 670 00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:15,760 Speaker 1: But I was like, you can't know. I know originally 671 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,040 Speaker 1: you said no, no, like no, no, no. 672 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:19,359 Speaker 3: And they kept at me and I was like, oh, 673 00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:21,360 Speaker 3: maybe do this. And then I thought about the facility 674 00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:24,080 Speaker 3: up in northern Pasadena and the psychiatrist I knew there. 675 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:24,640 Speaker 1: I'd covered for. 676 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:26,680 Speaker 3: Him a bunch, and he was like, yeah, we should 677 00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:28,200 Speaker 3: do this. Everybody else thought we should do it, and 678 00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:31,800 Speaker 3: he was like, Okay, keep going. And I don't know 679 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:35,400 Speaker 3: how they got the original cast, but they what they 680 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:37,080 Speaker 3: would do is they'd come to me with the case 681 00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:37,960 Speaker 3: and go, can you treat this? 682 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:39,000 Speaker 1: I go, yeah, I can treat that. 683 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:44,439 Speaker 3: And the hard part was getting everybody in on one day. 684 00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,480 Speaker 3: That was hard for me. It was also kind of 685 00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,839 Speaker 3: like what do you do with people are struggling? Wait 686 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,279 Speaker 3: till next week? And it's hard. 687 00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:53,759 Speaker 1: So there was a quote from that time period you 688 00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:57,520 Speaker 1: said this, I have no social life except for the 689 00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:00,759 Speaker 1: time I spend with these people on camp. Did I 690 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:04,600 Speaker 1: that at that point? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, no social life 691 00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,600 Speaker 1: at that point? I mean and then I wow, my uh, 692 00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,760 Speaker 1: because you were doing love Line and that Rolling Stone 693 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,600 Speaker 1: or where I don't know, I might have been Rolling 694 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,680 Speaker 1: Stone or the New York Times. I can't remember. The 695 00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:20,840 Speaker 1: New York Times but but it wasn't during that. You 696 00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:22,279 Speaker 1: don't talk to them. I don't talk to anybody. I 697 00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:23,520 Speaker 1: don't talk to any print anymore. 698 00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:26,319 Speaker 3: That I'm surprised you found that drus article because that 699 00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:27,680 Speaker 3: I did that begrudgingly. 700 00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:30,279 Speaker 1: I don't do print. They destroyed everything else. 701 00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:35,279 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a problem, but I am social life. I 702 00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:39,920 Speaker 3: was busy, was doing because I also steal by the way, 703 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:41,719 Speaker 3: and just doing the show. I had other responsibilities. 704 00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:43,640 Speaker 1: And still you were still you were still in practice 705 00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:47,120 Speaker 1: as you are today. Yeah, yeah, tell me about tell 706 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:50,840 Speaker 1: me about the advice you would offer to parents today. 707 00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:56,280 Speaker 1: Parents today control the screen, roll the screen. 708 00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:02,000 Speaker 3: I have peers that are extremely talented, and they do 709 00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:05,040 Speaker 3: that with their kids maximum two hours a day carefully, 710 00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:10,120 Speaker 3: you know, observed and constrained. You can put timers on 711 00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,759 Speaker 3: and shut down and kids fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, 712 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,000 Speaker 3: and you still don't know what some scooball is going 713 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:16,800 Speaker 3: to show your kid during a school there or whatever. 714 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:19,160 Speaker 3: I would say, try to organize in such way that 715 00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:21,000 Speaker 3: they get it out of the school too. 716 00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:26,919 Speaker 1: I've heard recently young people are resistant to therapy. They 717 00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,120 Speaker 1: don't hear that too, even if they know there's a problem. 718 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:32,239 Speaker 3: Yeah, of course, well, listen, there's a problem in therapy people. 719 00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,719 Speaker 3: They are not trusting therapy because it's been captured by 720 00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:37,680 Speaker 3: a lot of crazy ideas. And you know, there's all 721 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,759 Speaker 3: this idea that there's I just did a whole thing 722 00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:42,759 Speaker 3: with a couple of psychologists. I couldn't believe what they 723 00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:45,680 Speaker 3: were telling me about how captured it has become. Where 724 00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:48,400 Speaker 3: people are in therapy being total of the problems all 725 00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:53,080 Speaker 3: out there, which is you're fine, you've been colonialized and 726 00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:56,279 Speaker 3: disempowered and that's why you're uncomfortable. Oh man, is that 727 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,759 Speaker 3: going to make some disturbed people? I mean, you got 728 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,680 Speaker 3: that is the opposite of how you help people. And again, 729 00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:03,840 Speaker 3: the most dangerous words are you know now we know 730 00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:05,759 Speaker 3: how to do this, now we figured it out. No, 731 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:11,160 Speaker 3: never the case. To the kids that need the treatment 732 00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,520 Speaker 3: or are addicted, well, addicts, you're gonna have to be treated. 733 00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:18,040 Speaker 3: It's a progressive illness, it's a dangerous illness. It keeps, 734 00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:22,720 Speaker 3: it keeps, keep progressing, keeps progressing. But everyone's always resistant 735 00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:24,840 Speaker 3: to treatment for addiction. That's in the nature of the disease. 736 00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,520 Speaker 3: Not until they feel that they have to that they 737 00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,960 Speaker 3: do it. I've heard parents have told me we'd love 738 00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:35,440 Speaker 3: to take him. We took him to some meetings, but 739 00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:38,880 Speaker 3: then they start the higher power and he doesn't like 740 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:39,440 Speaker 3: that at all. 741 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:40,160 Speaker 1: Yeah. 742 00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:42,680 Speaker 3: Well, cognitive behavioral therapies have been showing to be helpful, 743 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:45,800 Speaker 3: So get a therapist that does cognitive behavioral therapies, motivational 744 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:48,160 Speaker 3: enhancement therapies. There's a lot of different ways to do this. 745 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:51,600 Speaker 3: People that get well usually end up in some form 746 00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:54,080 Speaker 3: of twelveth tip that something called smart recovery that has 747 00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:57,759 Speaker 3: kind of a different philosophy to it. And look addicts 748 00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:00,680 Speaker 3: in addicts in their disease will look for any reason 749 00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:03,400 Speaker 3: not to get treat, not to stop doing drugs. And 750 00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:06,240 Speaker 3: then the real problem, though, is this California sober stuff 751 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:07,360 Speaker 3: that is dangerous? 752 00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:07,920 Speaker 1: What is that? 753 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,919 Speaker 3: And I'm still drinking or smoking weed and a little 754 00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,880 Speaker 3: bit at a time extremely dangerous. 755 00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,719 Speaker 1: What about the legalization? What has that done? What have 756 00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:17,759 Speaker 1: you seen in your practice over the years. 757 00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:20,319 Speaker 3: I've seen what I expected, which was the weed now 758 00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:25,160 Speaker 3: becomes so concentrated and so intense that it's highly addictive. 759 00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:28,080 Speaker 3: Now there's no longer any debate about is not addictive, 760 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:31,720 Speaker 3: and we're seeing psychotic reactions, which I really debate. 761 00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:34,120 Speaker 1: I really doubted happened to you didn't think it would happen. 762 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:36,360 Speaker 3: I didn't think so. But now it's clear it's happening, 763 00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:37,000 Speaker 3: very very cleo. 764 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,200 Speaker 1: I seen it all around. 765 00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:41,680 Speaker 3: And my daughter's two years into recovery from weed. I 766 00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:43,440 Speaker 3: mean she has not missed a meeting in two and 767 00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:44,000 Speaker 3: half ears. 768 00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:47,080 Speaker 1: Well, Drew, you walk into a college dorm, you walk 769 00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,680 Speaker 1: into a college campus, it's like an aldur of the 770 00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:53,440 Speaker 1: hand out now and it's so hot. This is not your. 771 00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:58,520 Speaker 3: Grandpa as well PhD in some cases. And it's Look, 772 00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:02,160 Speaker 3: it's not in any chemical you're putting in your brain 773 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:03,080 Speaker 3: that's mind altering. 774 00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:04,920 Speaker 1: It's not a trivial issue. It's just not. 775 00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:07,640 Speaker 3: And if it's not something that has good science behind it, 776 00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:11,759 Speaker 3: that it can be monitored by somebody, and even that 777 00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,480 Speaker 3: sometimes goes awry. I mean absolutely, I've got all kinds 778 00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:15,440 Speaker 3: of concerns about that. 779 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:18,200 Speaker 1: Wow, what does it do to with the brain? I 780 00:39:18,239 --> 00:39:20,719 Speaker 1: know there's some debate about it. Yeah, Weed, we're talking 781 00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:22,160 Speaker 1: about now, Weed, what have you seen? 782 00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:26,239 Speaker 3: You know there is what I've seen is adolescence. In 783 00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:30,839 Speaker 3: adolescent delays development. It may cause some changes in the 784 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:34,680 Speaker 3: anatomy of the brain. My fundamental belief is that's probably recoverable. 785 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:38,160 Speaker 3: But in terms of development, that's a major issue. And 786 00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:41,160 Speaker 3: in terms of I'm seeing all over the place young 787 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:45,560 Speaker 3: males not you know, we mentioned porn and video games. 788 00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:48,200 Speaker 3: Weed is number three in terms of getting the wind 789 00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,360 Speaker 3: out of their sails. They just don't seem to be 790 00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:52,800 Speaker 3: getting things done. Then they don't see the impact the 791 00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:54,240 Speaker 3: drug is having on Wow. 792 00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:57,320 Speaker 1: I want to talk about a couple of other contemporary things. 793 00:39:57,520 --> 00:40:01,480 Speaker 1: Britney Spears just adopted a little girl. Oh boy, I 794 00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:05,200 Speaker 1: didn't know that. Yeah, this happened today. She just announced it. 795 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,920 Speaker 1: Is that for real? Yeah, they say she's adopted a 796 00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:09,920 Speaker 1: little girl. This is something she wanted. But today she 797 00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:12,440 Speaker 1: announced the name of the child. The child has arrived 798 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:19,080 Speaker 1: given her dance videos. Is this somebody who is capable 799 00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:20,640 Speaker 1: of raising a child at this show? 800 00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:25,279 Speaker 3: All I know about Britney Spears, yeah, is that she 801 00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:29,640 Speaker 3: had bad enough bipolar disorder and maybe some substances in 802 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,120 Speaker 3: there with that that she was not just put on 803 00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:33,800 Speaker 3: a three day hold. She was put on a fourteen 804 00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:37,960 Speaker 3: day hold and then a conservatorship that almost never happens, 805 00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:42,680 Speaker 3: that is reserved for the most seriously psychiatrically ill. Now 806 00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:45,480 Speaker 3: after years went by and she did well and she 807 00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:47,600 Speaker 3: wanted to try off it. I was supportive of that 808 00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:50,520 Speaker 3: at the ending of the concern because I didn't expect 809 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,200 Speaker 3: it to go that well, but I thought, she wants 810 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,640 Speaker 3: to try it. There you can walk out on the 811 00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:56,560 Speaker 3: street here and find people that are more deserving a 812 00:40:56,600 --> 00:40:59,040 Speaker 3: conservatship than she is in the present, even in the 813 00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:02,759 Speaker 3: present moment. Okay, so fine, she wanted to try off it. 814 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:06,880 Speaker 3: I don't Is she taking her bipolar meds? 815 00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:07,200 Speaker 1: Is she not? 816 00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:10,960 Speaker 3: That's a lifelong condition for her. I can't imagine they 817 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,719 Speaker 3: would release a child to her without somebody doing some 818 00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:17,799 Speaker 3: profiling on her mental well being just because she does 819 00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:20,160 Speaker 3: wacky dance videos. I would not condemn her. I'm not 820 00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:23,920 Speaker 3: ready to do that. So I've been loosely supportive of 821 00:41:24,200 --> 00:41:27,120 Speaker 3: all things Brittany. And she's done pretty well for quite 822 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:30,000 Speaker 3: some time since coming out of conservatship. And you've seen 823 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,080 Speaker 3: some outbursts and some relationship problems and stuff. That's all 824 00:41:33,239 --> 00:41:36,400 Speaker 3: part for the chorus. For her condition. The question is 825 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:41,040 Speaker 3: is she getting properly managed? And that means everything she'd 826 00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:41,800 Speaker 3: taken her meds. 827 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,920 Speaker 1: There was a story I came across Ryan Holiday, who 828 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:49,880 Speaker 1: writes those stoic books. There is a story that it 829 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,920 Speaker 1: was doctor Drew who let him down this path? Is 830 00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:55,480 Speaker 1: that true? One percent? Tell me that story? 831 00:41:55,719 --> 00:42:00,000 Speaker 3: Come on, you didn't read you read the story? You did? 832 00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:00,440 Speaker 3: I heard of it. 833 00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:01,200 Speaker 1: So I. 834 00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:08,480 Speaker 3: Was I was doing some sort of promotion for somebody 835 00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:13,640 Speaker 3: where we were doing these little mini lectures for college 836 00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:17,960 Speaker 3: campus newspapers and editors and sort of leaders thought leaders 837 00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:21,480 Speaker 3: on campuses. And as I remember, I was going with 838 00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:23,759 Speaker 3: a woman. There's a woman there with me who was 839 00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:27,040 Speaker 3: I was just trying to raise concerns about the hookup 840 00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:30,560 Speaker 3: culture and things like that, which again ended up where 841 00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:35,200 Speaker 3: we are now, and my concerns were justified. And at 842 00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:39,040 Speaker 3: the end of this one event in Texas As I 843 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:42,480 Speaker 3: recall this kid came up to me and he goes, 844 00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:46,080 Speaker 3: I don't remember engaging with him that much during the roundtable, 845 00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:48,600 Speaker 3: but I think we did, and maybe he could tell 846 00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:50,040 Speaker 3: that story better than I. And he come up to me, 847 00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:51,560 Speaker 3: he goes, what are you reading these days? I want 848 00:42:51,560 --> 00:42:54,040 Speaker 3: to read what you're reading? And I go, what's your name? 849 00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:59,840 Speaker 1: Ryan? Okay, Ryan, listen, I read Obscure and Wide and 850 00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:02,360 Speaker 1: you really don't want to know? 851 00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:05,040 Speaker 3: Come on, tell me, tell me, I want to know, 852 00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:07,680 Speaker 3: and I go, Okay, I'm reading this thing called the 853 00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:12,680 Speaker 3: n Caridian by a guy named Epictetus, and he's a 854 00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:18,720 Speaker 3: Stoic philosopher. And he's like, I go, he's not the best. 855 00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:20,879 Speaker 3: And it's not even his words, it's one of his 856 00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:24,680 Speaker 3: students psychology. Hearts of it, and he's like, I'm going 857 00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:27,680 Speaker 3: to read that. I go, well, I forget the substance 858 00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:30,480 Speaker 3: of our conversation except to say it's it's an interesting field. 859 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:32,399 Speaker 3: There's a lot of interesting stuff there. And I think 860 00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:36,360 Speaker 3: I was reading I've read some other Stoic at the 861 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:38,480 Speaker 3: time or something, and we may have been talking about that. 862 00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:42,360 Speaker 3: And fast forward fifteen years there's Ryan Holiday and we 863 00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:43,200 Speaker 3: still respond. 864 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:47,160 Speaker 1: I love that. I love you to confirm that story. 865 00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:50,160 Speaker 3: I love that he's doing what he does. I think 866 00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:51,839 Speaker 3: that he is a wonderful well. 867 00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,799 Speaker 1: In some ways, it's like he's the spawn of doctor Drew. 868 00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:59,000 Speaker 1: Doctor Drew takes this psychological and addiction knowledge and medical 869 00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:02,120 Speaker 1: training and it with the world. He takes the stoic 870 00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:05,040 Speaker 1: and forgotten yeah, you know, the philosophers, and he's sharing 871 00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:07,799 Speaker 1: it with the world and popularizing it. I mean, he's 872 00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:09,399 Speaker 1: really opened it up for a whole group of young 873 00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:12,480 Speaker 1: men who otherwise would not have any knowledge of these people. 874 00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:15,279 Speaker 3: Lesson. Did Ryan also write a book called trust Me 875 00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:15,800 Speaker 3: I'm lying? 876 00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:17,080 Speaker 1: Is said? 877 00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:20,520 Speaker 3: No, he wrote a book about manipulating sort of media. 878 00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:22,800 Speaker 3: I think he wrote that before I wrote his stoge books, 879 00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,560 Speaker 3: and that one impressed me too, because it was like 880 00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:28,160 Speaker 3: he predicted all of everything we're saying. 881 00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:32,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, Okay, I have an arroyo grande questionnaire. I 882 00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:36,920 Speaker 1: ask everybody, okay, this you probably will acquainted with me, 883 00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,880 Speaker 1: and if not, prepared for who is the person you 884 00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:46,680 Speaker 1: most admire right now? Yes, aside from your interviewer, there's 885 00:44:46,719 --> 00:44:51,000 Speaker 1: my interviewer. He'd be impressed greatly, the gentleman that brought me. 886 00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:54,280 Speaker 3: The huge that's right, thank you for that, our cameraman, Lenning, 887 00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:55,040 Speaker 3: thank you, Lenny. 888 00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,040 Speaker 1: Let me, I have to think, who do you most admire? 889 00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:03,879 Speaker 3: Because I have I have, I have lots of mentors 890 00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:07,239 Speaker 3: and lots of people I admire. I'm thinking of this 891 00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:12,080 Speaker 3: one guy, right I My dad figured very prominently into things. 892 00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:14,680 Speaker 3: I admired him. 893 00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:17,799 Speaker 1: What type of medicine did he? Prayer? Family practice? Yeah? 894 00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:21,160 Speaker 1: He had great judgment. 895 00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:24,400 Speaker 3: His judgment was so good, So I saw him make 896 00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:28,280 Speaker 3: a call about his own coronary disease. And I was like, dude, 897 00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:32,840 Speaker 3: don't don't. No, that's not right, and it's your it's yourself. 898 00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:33,560 Speaker 3: You don't do that. 899 00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:37,160 Speaker 1: He was on, Wow, yeah, he's got good judgment. 900 00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,520 Speaker 3: And I've got eighty five percent of it, I say, 901 00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:42,040 Speaker 3: And I think I'm very very grateful for that. I 902 00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:45,279 Speaker 3: have a psychiatrist in mind who I have great respect for, 903 00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:47,960 Speaker 3: guy I worked in and around for years, who's helped 904 00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:49,480 Speaker 3: me with cases and family and things. 905 00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:50,399 Speaker 1: And I don't know. 906 00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:53,000 Speaker 3: I've got I've got as I This is back to 907 00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:57,040 Speaker 3: what you tell young males again. Collect mentors don't have 908 00:45:57,160 --> 00:45:59,359 Speaker 3: one idol. I'm sure if I sat here and thought 909 00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:01,759 Speaker 3: for a few minutes, I think of ten more immediately. 910 00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:04,239 Speaker 1: But but but they all fed you something that you 911 00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:06,319 Speaker 1: continue to use, use your daily law around. You know, 912 00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:07,319 Speaker 1: keep mentors there. 913 00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:11,040 Speaker 3: They're critically important and you can have them in different 914 00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:13,560 Speaker 3: disciplines and different aspects of my One of my sons 915 00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:14,480 Speaker 3: is collects mentors. 916 00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:16,640 Speaker 1: I watched him doing that. I didn't never mention it 917 00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:16,920 Speaker 1: to him. 918 00:46:16,920 --> 00:46:19,120 Speaker 3: I thought, oh, yeah, that is that is a really 919 00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:20,640 Speaker 3: important skill to be able to do. 920 00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:28,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, who do you despise. Aside from your interview, he's 921 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:29,960 Speaker 1: one of he's one of my mentor types. 922 00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:35,480 Speaker 3: Uh gosh, who do you despise? 923 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:38,520 Speaker 1: You're overthinking this? True? You know. 924 00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:43,200 Speaker 3: Came right into my head was these these weird little 925 00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:47,080 Speaker 3: tik toks that Swallwell was doing. I found those despicable. 926 00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:48,719 Speaker 3: Those were despicable to me. 927 00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:52,239 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they were just they were just curses. Reason, yes, 928 00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:53,560 Speaker 1: I get I get. 929 00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:57,360 Speaker 3: Discussed really easily these days, and it was a disgusting matter. 930 00:46:57,400 --> 00:46:58,640 Speaker 3: I don't know if he's a good person or a 931 00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:00,799 Speaker 3: bad persons Like that is discuss what are you doing? 932 00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:05,200 Speaker 3: So so that that my latestable Usually it's Hitler or 933 00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:12,400 Speaker 3: I mean, that's easy, Okay, what is your best feature? 934 00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:16,920 Speaker 3: My best feature is my judgment. I have a really 935 00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:18,359 Speaker 3: good job. And that's what I got from my dad. 936 00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:22,920 Speaker 3: I like, I got canceled around COVID and it was 937 00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:24,040 Speaker 3: my judge that happened. 938 00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:25,840 Speaker 1: Another long story. 939 00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:29,520 Speaker 3: So I was I saw the pant I saw the 940 00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:32,080 Speaker 3: press generating the panic, and I was like, hey, this 941 00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:34,880 Speaker 3: is them trying to get your eyes and get some ratings. 942 00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:38,719 Speaker 3: Don't listen to it. Don't stop just stop it, stop it, 943 00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:41,279 Speaker 3: stop it. And I got kind of hyperbolic. I'm like, 944 00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:43,000 Speaker 3: you're not gonna just don't worry about it. Stop it, 945 00:47:43,080 --> 00:47:45,880 Speaker 3: Let's see what this is. And then and so somebody 946 00:47:45,880 --> 00:47:47,719 Speaker 3: put together a video of me saying it's nothing. It's 947 00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:50,319 Speaker 3: not saying nothing, and making it look like I had 948 00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:52,320 Speaker 3: was in complete denial about it, which I was not. 949 00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:55,640 Speaker 3: And and but here's the part I actually got wrong, 950 00:47:55,680 --> 00:47:58,279 Speaker 3: in my opinion, and at the end of I made 951 00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:00,440 Speaker 3: sure of it as a discipline. Every single time I 952 00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:02,880 Speaker 3: said don't worry about it, I would say the following. 953 00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:07,000 Speaker 3: I was in the AIDS pandemic, and Anthony Fauci was 954 00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:09,640 Speaker 3: a wonderful leader during that. He could be your north 955 00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:12,320 Speaker 3: star and will get us through this. Listen to doctor Fauci, 956 00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:15,160 Speaker 3: and listen to the CDC. They will get us through this. 957 00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:18,440 Speaker 3: And of course they left that out of the compilations. 958 00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:20,680 Speaker 1: And that's the actually the only thing I got wrong. 959 00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:23,239 Speaker 1: That's actually what I got categorically wrong. 960 00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:26,080 Speaker 3: And so that part is lost to the ethers, and 961 00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:28,239 Speaker 3: all you have is me saying, don't worry about this. 962 00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:32,040 Speaker 3: And so I was canceled all over the place. 963 00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:34,920 Speaker 1: And I love that you every and we've talked for 964 00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:37,600 Speaker 1: a while before we started the interview, you're willing to 965 00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:40,080 Speaker 1: look go back and say, you know what, I was 966 00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:43,080 Speaker 1: right about this, but I got this wrong. There are 967 00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:45,279 Speaker 1: very few people in public life willing to do which 968 00:48:45,320 --> 00:48:46,200 Speaker 1: is a huge mistake. 969 00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:50,120 Speaker 3: You've got to call strikes and balls, and you got 970 00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:53,520 Speaker 3: it wrong. Like like Nailmi wolf was came on my 971 00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:56,400 Speaker 3: show and told me some things about women's mental periods 972 00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:59,520 Speaker 3: in the vaccine and nanoparticles accumulating the over reason. I 973 00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:01,760 Speaker 3: was like, first, Nail me women in their periods. 974 00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:03,440 Speaker 1: I've been practicing at times. 975 00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:06,680 Speaker 3: Anything any wind blows the wrong with women's periods and 976 00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:08,799 Speaker 3: the nanoparticles, We'll see if that's really a big deal. 977 00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:11,520 Speaker 3: Then the data started coming in, and then I started 978 00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:16,320 Speaker 3: listening like an idiot to the real experiences of women 979 00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:18,759 Speaker 3: with these menstrual of regularities and what it meant to them. 980 00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:24,000 Speaker 3: And I thought, holy god, I am a sexist, hubristic pig. 981 00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:25,640 Speaker 1: This is inexcusable. 982 00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:28,400 Speaker 3: I brought Naomi and I said, I am so sorry, 983 00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:32,640 Speaker 3: it's inexcusable. I was sexist, I was lubistic. I minimized 984 00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:37,520 Speaker 3: something that was important, and I categorically I will keep 985 00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:40,120 Speaker 3: falling on my sword. That's not okay, And apologize to 986 00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:43,879 Speaker 3: her in public every time I see her. And I've 987 00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:45,880 Speaker 3: got some other ones coming. I've got some others that 988 00:49:46,239 --> 00:49:50,239 Speaker 3: and you know, the COVID one. I got certain things wrong. 989 00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:52,879 Speaker 3: I got some stuff wrong with the vaccine early because 990 00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:55,720 Speaker 3: I thought this seems like a good plan. 991 00:49:56,680 --> 00:50:03,680 Speaker 1: Yeah. No, favorite book and the last spoke you read. 992 00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:06,279 Speaker 3: I'm reading a book on George Marshall right now. I'm 993 00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:09,400 Speaker 3: almost done. Whether it's huge mongus. I read a book 994 00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:12,200 Speaker 3: called The Alchemy of Air before that about I read 995 00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:14,799 Speaker 3: a lot, a lot of you're like, Ryan Holiday, Now 996 00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:17,279 Speaker 3: I want to read what you're read. 997 00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:18,760 Speaker 1: Read. I read everywhere and everything. 998 00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:25,120 Speaker 3: It's about the It's about the engineering and chemistry of 999 00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:28,000 Speaker 3: ammonia essentially and fertilizer and how. 1000 00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:29,560 Speaker 1: It figured into the twentieth century. 1001 00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:33,120 Speaker 3: It's a big story and the Nazis and you know, anyway, 1002 00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:38,320 Speaker 3: and uh, but the Marshall book has been extraordinary to 1003 00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:38,960 Speaker 3: sort of see. 1004 00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:41,000 Speaker 1: I'm reading a lot about China right now. It's like, 1005 00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:43,560 Speaker 1: oh god, what a mess. Yeah, what a mess? All 1006 00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:45,120 Speaker 1: we got here? What a mess? 1007 00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:47,640 Speaker 3: Hey, we must read our history, we must, we must. 1008 00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:51,319 Speaker 3: I got into reading really when I started having time 1009 00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:55,400 Speaker 3: to read through biographies and I read widely. Abraham Lincoln 1010 00:50:55,400 --> 00:50:59,400 Speaker 3: became an obsession of mine. Aaron Burr, Jefferson Hamilton. I 1011 00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:03,080 Speaker 3: was reading all the stuff and. 1012 00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:04,799 Speaker 1: I see them on your shelf. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 1013 00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:09,040 Speaker 1: that's that's in t r oh. I loved my favorite 1014 00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:12,919 Speaker 1: amazing president, amazing man. Yeah, crazy, grandiose. 1015 00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:17,040 Speaker 3: But narcissistic, bipo manic, right, and one of the best president's, 1016 00:51:17,040 --> 00:51:18,799 Speaker 3: greatest president we've ever had one of them. 1017 00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,160 Speaker 1: What do you know that no one else knows. 1018 00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:26,800 Speaker 3: God's a lot of things. And that's why I keep talking. 1019 00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:32,200 Speaker 3: It's unfortunately people don't understand what death and dying is. 1020 00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:35,080 Speaker 3: People don't understand the important of faith. People don't really 1021 00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:37,640 Speaker 3: get what addiction is. People don't understand what mental health is. 1022 00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:43,239 Speaker 3: There's just so many things about the human condition. Let 1023 00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:44,920 Speaker 3: me tell you this. I'll tell you one thing. Okay, 1024 00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:48,040 Speaker 3: we are an embedded species, and I mean this in 1025 00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:51,080 Speaker 3: this sense. Our brain is embedded in a body. Our 1026 00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:55,320 Speaker 3: body is embedded in relationships, and these relationships are embedded 1027 00:51:55,360 --> 00:51:59,440 Speaker 3: in a sociohistorical moment, and all of it is important. 1028 00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:01,480 Speaker 3: All of it comes to bear on us, and we 1029 00:52:01,480 --> 00:52:03,600 Speaker 3: should try and do our best to understand all of it. 1030 00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:05,960 Speaker 3: It's it's it's I mean, I understand it's a lot, 1031 00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:09,839 Speaker 3: but at least have some understanding of the socio economic 1032 00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:13,120 Speaker 3: historical moments we're in and how we got here, and 1033 00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:15,560 Speaker 3: then what relationships are and how to manage some how 1034 00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:18,440 Speaker 3: to do them in a healthy way, and something about 1035 00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:20,680 Speaker 3: our brains and our health and our spiritual condition. 1036 00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:21,720 Speaker 1: This is all. 1037 00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:25,640 Speaker 3: This is why I don't get super specific, because I 1038 00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:28,120 Speaker 3: don't know what's going to really appeal to people except 1039 00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:31,279 Speaker 3: to say, we've got to attend to these things, must attend. 1040 00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:32,919 Speaker 1: How do we fit in the chain of history here? 1041 00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:35,120 Speaker 1: Where do we fit? And what do we what's our 1042 00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:35,600 Speaker 1: role in this? 1043 00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:38,120 Speaker 3: How do you make a difference? How do you make meaning? 1044 00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:40,399 Speaker 3: How do you do that? And if it's to raise 1045 00:52:40,440 --> 00:52:44,799 Speaker 3: your ran kids, then do that? Who was it i ran? 1046 00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:46,640 Speaker 3: Somebody was saying just be the best. It was a 1047 00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:50,160 Speaker 3: zen thing. Just do the best at what you decide. 1048 00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:51,680 Speaker 1: You want to do. Just be good at that head 1049 00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:54,799 Speaker 1: of it. It's a street sweeper. Be the best. Yeah, 1050 00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:57,400 Speaker 1: what would mother Teresa say? There are things you can do. 1051 00:52:57,480 --> 00:53:01,160 Speaker 1: I can't do. Do everything with great love, small things, 1052 00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:01,920 Speaker 1: with great love. 1053 00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:05,720 Speaker 3: Great grace, great love, great faith, great hope, great intention. 1054 00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:10,440 Speaker 1: I fear my age. I start to feel I fear 1055 00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:11,359 Speaker 1: losing my. 1056 00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:17,120 Speaker 3: Cognitive functioning. I feel things slipping here and there, and 1057 00:53:17,239 --> 00:53:19,920 Speaker 3: I do not like it. I fight very hard against it. 1058 00:53:20,040 --> 00:53:32,600 Speaker 3: What's your biggest regret, oh Man, I regret my workoholism 1059 00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:36,760 Speaker 3: having a negative impact on people I love, And yet 1060 00:53:37,560 --> 00:53:39,520 Speaker 3: it was really important, well for. 1061 00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:42,120 Speaker 1: Them, for you, for all of us, for your audience. 1062 00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:45,880 Speaker 3: I had an important experience and I'm sorry that I 1063 00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,040 Speaker 3: regret that it affected them. 1064 00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:51,719 Speaker 1: What's the best piece of advice you ever received? 1065 00:53:54,800 --> 00:54:04,600 Speaker 3: Hmm, gosh, you know you're making You're making me think 1066 00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:05,239 Speaker 3: about these things. 1067 00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:09,200 Speaker 1: I told you I'm slowing. No, no, no, you're not slowing. Look, 1068 00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:14,880 Speaker 1: I can always edit think about this. The best the 1069 00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:16,640 Speaker 1: best advice I got was from my dad. 1070 00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:22,680 Speaker 3: He said, your your most important diagnostic tool is your ear. 1071 00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:28,840 Speaker 3: Listen and and I have learned through I talked to 1072 00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:32,120 Speaker 3: you a little bit about before the show. Listening is 1073 00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:36,520 Speaker 3: not just what you hear. It's the impact on your 1074 00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:39,399 Speaker 3: entire body, what you feel and think and smell, and 1075 00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:43,840 Speaker 3: how you respond and when I'm when people are asking 1076 00:54:43,920 --> 00:54:46,279 Speaker 3: you know what, how do you sustain intimacy or how 1077 00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:49,200 Speaker 3: do you empathize. It's listen, but listen with your whole 1078 00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:52,680 Speaker 3: body like an antenna, and just pay attention to everything 1079 00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:54,880 Speaker 3: that comes up. If you have a thought or a 1080 00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:58,319 Speaker 3: smell or something that that it's meaningful, it may have 1081 00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:00,600 Speaker 3: come from the other person, especially if it's not something 1082 00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:03,400 Speaker 3: you recognize as something you would normally experience, like, well, 1083 00:55:03,440 --> 00:55:06,160 Speaker 3: that's something that some part of that person is communicating 1084 00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:07,880 Speaker 3: with you lean into it. 1085 00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:10,560 Speaker 1: Pay attention what happens when this is over? 1086 00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:13,680 Speaker 3: My life because I think I'm gonna work right to 1087 00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:17,080 Speaker 3: the end or to mean this interview, I'm gonna leave that. 1088 00:55:17,360 --> 00:55:21,920 Speaker 1: Everybody asks me when this is over, whether it's the interview, 1089 00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:25,279 Speaker 1: when this is over, When this is over? Uh. 1090 00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:29,000 Speaker 3: This is another piece of advice. People need a simple existence. 1091 00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:32,120 Speaker 3: I have to go to the DMV inside some papers 1092 00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:38,000 Speaker 3: when this is over. Humility and simple life and just 1093 00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:41,920 Speaker 3: being a human being, intrude, this is this is all 1094 00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:45,400 Speaker 3: of us. Just be a be a person. If I 1095 00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:48,719 Speaker 3: wish for everybody that they have the opportunity to make 1096 00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:51,600 Speaker 3: a difference and to follow their passions and to explore 1097 00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:53,840 Speaker 3: creatively all these things that I've been able to do. 1098 00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:56,920 Speaker 3: It's it's crazy to me that I've been able to 1099 00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,840 Speaker 3: do that and to use aspects all parts of my 1100 00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:01,920 Speaker 3: and try to create things that make a difference for 1101 00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:05,360 Speaker 3: other people. Mind blowing and I'm so, so so grateful 1102 00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:07,919 Speaker 3: for it. Cultivate gratitude. It's another thing I didn't mention. 1103 00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:08,960 Speaker 3: That's another important thing. 1104 00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:11,600 Speaker 1: Well, we're grateful for you. Thank you, and thank you 1105 00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:15,200 Speaker 1: for the time. This great thank you. All right, here's 1106 00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:18,560 Speaker 1: the hole to you. Bro's watching. There are so many 1107 00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:23,560 Speaker 1: great bits of advice that doctor Drew shared collect mentors, 1108 00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:26,600 Speaker 1: such a great tip one that we often forget, and 1109 00:56:26,640 --> 00:56:30,120 Speaker 1: as far as the fertility deficit, find someone you love 1110 00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:33,560 Speaker 1: and have babies. Society is a reflection of the people 1111 00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:36,000 Speaker 1: in it. If you're so self obsessed and in your 1112 00:56:36,000 --> 00:56:38,360 Speaker 1: own head and in your own body that you can't 1113 00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:43,399 Speaker 1: see beyond you, society is over. Lose the pot, get 1114 00:56:43,440 --> 00:56:46,800 Speaker 1: over the porn, and give yourself a real partner, someone 1115 00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:49,520 Speaker 1: you can build a family and a future with, the 1116 00:56:49,600 --> 00:56:52,440 Speaker 1: only future worth having. By the way, I hope you'll 1117 00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:55,480 Speaker 1: come back to a royal grande soon. Why settle for 1118 00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:58,160 Speaker 1: a dry, constricted life when if you fill it with 1119 00:56:58,239 --> 00:57:01,520 Speaker 1: wisdom and knowledge, it can flow into a broad, thriving 1120 00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:06,239 Speaker 1: Arroyo Grande. I'm raiding Arroyo. Make sure you subscribe and 1121 00:57:06,520 --> 00:57:09,320 Speaker 1: like this episode. Thanks for diving in. We'll see you 1122 00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:13,640 Speaker 1: next time. Arroyo Grande is produced in partnership with iHeart 1123 00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:18,320 Speaker 1: Podcasts and DP Studios. It's available on the iHeartRadio app 1124 00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:24,520 Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts