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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Wired to Hunt Foundations podcast, your guide

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Speaker 1: to the fundamentals of better deer hunting, presented by first Light,

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Speaker 1: creating proven versatile hunting apparel for the stand, saddle or blind.

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Speaker 1: First Light, Go Farther, Stay Longer, and now your host

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Speaker 1: Tony Peterson.

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Speaker 2: Hey, everyone, welcome to the Wired to Hunt Foundation's podcast,

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Speaker 2: which is brought to you by First Light. I'm your host,

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Speaker 2: Tony Peterson, and today's episode is about how to have

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Speaker 2: a good relationship with white tails, which probably sounds really dumb,

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Speaker 2: and it might be, but you're just gonna have to

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Speaker 2: listen to this one to find out. If you haven't

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Speaker 2: heard yet, it's white tail week here at Meat Eater.

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Speaker 2: Even those mustachioed, flannel wearing bowsman nights that seem to

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Speaker 2: only hunt with rifles for mountain or plains dwelling critters,

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Speaker 2: they're thinking about white tails this week and that is

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Speaker 2: no small feat. Trust me. Most of the time, us

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Speaker 2: whitetail hunters at Meat Eater are kind of just relegated

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Speaker 2: to the kiddie table while the big wigs plan their

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Speaker 2: next amazing spearfishing trip or something cool like that. Not

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Speaker 2: this week, though, it's all about deer. That's what I'm

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Speaker 2: going to talk about today. But first I need to

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Speaker 2: sell you guys some stuff. We have a ton of

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Speaker 2: good first light gear on super sale this week and

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Speaker 2: a whole lot of other whitetail necessities. You can head

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Speaker 2: to the Meat Eater's store at the meat eater dot

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Speaker 2: com and see the deals which are going to net

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Speaker 2: you a healthy discount. Or you can head over to

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Speaker 2: my Instagram at Tony J. Peterson and check out the

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Speaker 2: link in my bio. If you do that, I might

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Speaker 2: not get fired, so that one has my vote. But

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Speaker 2: even if you do want to see me fired and

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Speaker 2: laying sod or flipping burgers somewhere and are still interested

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Speaker 2: in buying some whitetail gear, head on over to the

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Speaker 2: site and check it out. Okay, that's enough salesy stuff.

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Speaker 2: It's time to talk about deer. And I know I

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Speaker 2: said I was going to talk about some cool whitetail

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Speaker 2: facts last week, but something recently reminded me of a

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Speaker 2: topic that I just need to cover. I think it'll

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Speaker 2: help you kill more dear, which is what I was

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Speaker 2: originally gonna do, and I wanted you to have that

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Speaker 2: help with So there's that and here's this. One of

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Speaker 2: the reasons I hate being in the public eye is

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Speaker 2: well dealing with the public. That's not a humble brig

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Speaker 2: to let you know how famous I am. It's just

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Speaker 2: the truth. I'm an introvert mostly, and I don't like

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Speaker 2: talking to strangers. I guess in that way, I wasn't

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Speaker 2: a great candidate to get into a white van with

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Speaker 2: no windows promising free puppies when I was eight, No,

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Speaker 2: thank you, mister. I'm also not that great at relationships. Really,

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Speaker 2: I kind of just suck as a person overall, but

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Speaker 2: specifically on the relationship front. I learned something recently that

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Speaker 2: has been kind of a revelation for me. You see,

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Speaker 2: when we deal with friends and family in very low

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Speaker 2: level hunting celebrities and we our spouses, we are often

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Speaker 2: looking for them to do something for us. Now, sure,

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Speaker 2: there are selfless people out there who really only do

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Speaker 2: things out of the goodness of their hearts, but mostly

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Speaker 2: most of us are looking for mutually beneficial arrangements with

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Speaker 2: the people around us. That probably sounds worse than I

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Speaker 2: mean it to. It's not that we are all quid

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Speaker 2: pro quo transactionists. I mean, we aren't all politicians, so

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Speaker 2: our desires are often more benign and innocent, or so

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Speaker 2: we think. There's a concept in relationships called covert contracts.

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Speaker 2: This is a term coined by the author doctor Robert Glover,

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Speaker 2: who wrote the book No More Mister Nice Guy. I'll

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Speaker 2: explain what a covert contract is in a second, but

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Speaker 2: let me first tell you what an overt contract is.

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Speaker 2: This is a healthy agreement between two people, that is,

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Speaker 2: you know, debated on, worked out whatever, negotiated, and then

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Speaker 2: they agree. An easy example would be if you would

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Speaker 2: rather hold a police taser to your nuts than spend

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Speaker 2: a minute with your in laws. So you tell your

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Speaker 2: wife that you'll do Thanksgiving with her lunatic family if

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Speaker 2: she'll do Christmas with the perfect angels who raised you.

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Speaker 2: If she agrees to those terms, that's an overt contract.

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Speaker 2: Simple right. It's a compromise where you both get something

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Speaker 2: you want and you both sacrifice a little bit. Another

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Speaker 2: overt contract would be if you meet someone who owns

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Speaker 2: land that you want to hunt, like I did recently.

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Speaker 2: Maybe the owner wants to hunt, maybe they love venison,

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Speaker 2: but he doesn't know what he's doing, so you agree

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Speaker 2: to provide stands and safety harnesses, cameras, and a whole

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Speaker 2: lot of know how to the situation. He gets to

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Speaker 2: learn about deer and deer hunting. He will likely get

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Speaker 2: some venison, and you, or in this case me, gets

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Speaker 2: a new place to hunt. Now, as long as everyone

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Speaker 2: sticks with it, the deal is pretty simple and it's

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Speaker 2: beneficial all involved. The flip side of an overt contract

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Speaker 2: is a covert contract. These are bad. This is when

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Speaker 2: you make a deal with someone in your head and

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Speaker 2: then get angry with them for not reading your mind

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Speaker 2: and honoring the deal. Does that sound kind of nuts?

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Speaker 2: It's not, because we all do it. Let me give

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Speaker 2: you an example. My wife recently got mad at me

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Speaker 2: for not replacing the sink in our kitchen. You might think, well, shoot, man,

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Speaker 2: get that sink replaced, since it's obviously broken or not

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Speaker 2: functioning correctly. But I would say, hold on, mister smarty pants.

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Speaker 2: The sink and the faucet and pretty much all parts

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Speaker 2: of it work just fine. It looks good too, at

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Speaker 2: least to my eye. But for whatever reason, I don't know,

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Speaker 2: probably some past head trauma or maybe bad jeans, my

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Speaker 2: wife decided she wanted a new sink. She also decided

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Speaker 2: she wanted me, the least handy guy you'll ever meet,

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Speaker 2: to replace it. So she made a deal with me

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Speaker 2: that I'd never agree to and then got mad at

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Speaker 2: me for not living up to it. Isn't that wacky?

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Speaker 2: Well I do that stuff to her too. It's a

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Speaker 2: two way street that makes marriage super fun kids. A

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Speaker 2: good thing about it, if there is, is that if

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Speaker 2: you're aware that you make these covert contracts with people,

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Speaker 2: you can stop, or you can at least not get

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Speaker 2: mad at them when they don't live up to an unspoken,

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Speaker 2: invisible agreement that they had no clue existed. Acknowledging that

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Speaker 2: will also make you a better communicator, which is awful

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Speaker 2: important if you don't want some blonde suburb dweller with

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Speaker 2: a weird new sink fetish to take half of your

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Speaker 2: hunting land and maybe your new boat and a divorce.

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Speaker 2: Covert contracts are bad in marriage and friendships, really all relationships.

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Speaker 2: This applies to the relationships that we have with our

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Speaker 2: favorite game animals too, like the I don't know regal

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Speaker 2: and Majestic Lemur. Just kidding, it's the Cape Buffalo. Don't

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Speaker 2: feel bad. I don't like myself either, of course, it's

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Speaker 2: the white tail. We make deals with him all the time,

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Speaker 2: and you know what that rap bastard often does. He

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Speaker 2: breaks them. Then we get mad at him, and we

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Speaker 2: become even worse hunters, until we spiral so far down

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Speaker 2: the into the abyss of depression that we start thinking

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Speaker 2: about doing something much easier that takes no skill at all,

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Speaker 2: like golf. Let me give you some examples of times

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Speaker 2: I made covert contracts with deer that will probably be

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Speaker 2: awfully relatable to most of you. How about like all

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Speaker 2: the work you do in the preseason, like the winter scouting,

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Speaker 2: the summer scouting, the trail camera work, the glassing, the

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Speaker 2: stand hanging, the cutting trails, planning, food plots, whatever you

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Speaker 2: say to the white tail gods, I've done all of

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Speaker 2: this work, and I've put in all this effort, and

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Speaker 2: now you should deliver unto me one I don't know,

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Speaker 2: one hundred and thirty seven inch eleven point with nice

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Speaker 2: G two's and a twenty inch inside spread. But instead

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Speaker 2: you see does and fawns and little bucks and no

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Speaker 2: deer that could remotely be rounded up to one forty.

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Speaker 2: The deal is broken, and you become sad, or maybe

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Speaker 2: you say again to the great deer gods in the

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Speaker 2: sky that you have a busy schedule. You have three

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Speaker 2: little kids at home, a wife who really wants a

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Speaker 2: new sink, and a job where your boss is one

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Speaker 2: of those micromanaging losers who have there's no hobbies and

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Speaker 2: lives to make everyone think he works so much harder

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Speaker 2: than everyone else. Your vacation time is a precious commodity,

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Speaker 2: So you say, I'm going to take the first week

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Speaker 2: of November off. I won't get much time to hunt

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Speaker 2: before that, but if I put in all days sits

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Speaker 2: for a week, then I'll certainly get the good end

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Speaker 2: of this deal, which is that a big buck will

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Speaker 2: come by and I will shoot him. He might, but

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Speaker 2: he also might not, And even if he does, there's

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Speaker 2: a lot that can go wrong. Before you're high five

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Speaker 2: and your buddy at the end of a short blood trail.

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Speaker 2: The contract again is broken. In a relationship. When that happens,

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Speaker 2: it's a recipe for resentment and anger and the idea

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Speaker 2: that you should get back at them somehow. This stems

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Speaker 2: from fear of rejection and low self esteem. I'd say

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Speaker 2: a lot of us in our relationship with deer come

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Speaker 2: at it from a place of fearing real rejection and

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Speaker 2: having low confidence that we will get our shit together

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Speaker 2: and kill a good buck or any deer. If that

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Speaker 2: happens to be the phase you're in, you don't want

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Speaker 2: to be mad at the deer for not doing what

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Speaker 2: you expect them to, because in that case, you're just

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Speaker 2: gonnahunt less and you're gonna enjoy hunting less and it's

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Speaker 2: not gonna go too well. The only deal they make

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Speaker 2: with us is that they'll be out there somewhere trying

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Speaker 2: their hardest to never ever cross paths with us. So

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Speaker 2: we need to reframe our thinking. The deer don't owe

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Speaker 2: us anything. The basis for that no More Mister nice

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Speaker 2: Guy book I mentioned at the beginning is that there

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Speaker 2: are guys out there who try to be fake nice

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Speaker 2: to women and treat them like princesses, believing that if

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Speaker 2: they do, the ladies won't be able to help themselves

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Speaker 2: and they'll reward them in a very few specific not

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Speaker 2: safe for work ways. This rarely works because even though

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Speaker 2: women are really crazy about their sink demands, they aren't dumb.

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Speaker 2: They'll see this disingenuous nice guy act and they go,

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Speaker 2: I know what you're looking for and it's not gonna happen.

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Speaker 2: Then the nice guys get mad and they say women

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Speaker 2: only want mean dudes, which is dewan fellas who are

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Speaker 2: direct and honest about their intentions. The deer, just like

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Speaker 2: those savvy ladies, know what you're after. There's no divine

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Speaker 2: hand on the scale watching you hunt and deciding you've

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Speaker 2: put in the requisite work and you deserve a big buck.

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Speaker 2: It's about you putting yourself in a position to be

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Speaker 2: where they are while they don't know you're there. That's

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Speaker 2: about it. We aren't owed anything from the woods, and

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Speaker 2: the sooner we accept that. The sooner we can take

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Speaker 2: the act of hunting white tails for what it is,

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Speaker 2: a really cool, super challenging opportunity that might break our

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Speaker 2: way if we keep a good attitude and we keep

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Speaker 2: putting in the effort. Even though this isn't as easy

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Speaker 2: as it sounds. Take that out of state trip you

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Speaker 2: want to go on with your buddies. For example, we

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Speaker 2: make a covert contract with whatever state that is good

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Speaker 2: and a jack oft the license prices and sell us

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Speaker 2: a super expensive non resident tag and take advantage of

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Speaker 2: us because we have no voting power. But in return,

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Speaker 2: they're going to give us a nice buck, simple, straightforward.

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Speaker 2: But you aren't being sold a possession ticket with a

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Speaker 2: buck already attached to it. You're being sold an opportunity,

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Speaker 2: one that solely promises you the chance to come to

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Speaker 2: whatever state and try to see if you can get

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Speaker 2: the deer to walk in front of you without knowing

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Speaker 2: you're there. A lot of hunters focus on the end result,

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Speaker 2: or what they think should be the end result, and

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Speaker 2: totally dismiss the reality that it's a licensed hunt, not

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Speaker 2: a guarantee that you'll kill a certain class of animal,

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Speaker 2: because most people won't and for some that breeds resentment

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Speaker 2: and anger. Now I get that I'm distilling this way

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Speaker 2: down because there are a million variables that go into

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Speaker 2: an out of state trip or any hunt for that matter,

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Speaker 2: But the truth is that it's easy to be resentful

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Speaker 2: of an unfilled expensive non resident tag, all that time

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Speaker 2: and money down the drain with nothing to show for

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Speaker 2: it except some extra miles on your truck. That's a

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Speaker 2: bad way to look at it, and it isn't going

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Speaker 2: to help your cause. If you ever decide to travel

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Speaker 2: for white tails or any other critter, don't make a

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Speaker 2: covert contract with a fishing game agency, because they will

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Speaker 2: let you down and they won't know. And I promise

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Speaker 2: you this, they won't care because they don't make a

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Speaker 2: deal that you'll kill an animal, only that you'll get

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Speaker 2: to hunt. You've heard me say this a lot, but

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Speaker 2: it bears repeating. Your attitude about hunting is important. It

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Speaker 2: might be the most important aspect of the whole thing

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Speaker 2: for many of us. Much of it involves just thinking

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Speaker 2: about things a little bit differently. This is where hunting

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Speaker 2: with newcomers can help you find a new equilibrium. When

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Speaker 2: I help with my daughters, they are pretty interested in

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Speaker 2: every animal that we see. They appreciate the newness of

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Speaker 2: it all and the wonder of the woods. They really do.

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Speaker 2: I don't, not as often as I should, and that's

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Speaker 2: a problem. I've seen roughly three million squirrels doing squirrel

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Speaker 2: things while sitting on stand, so it's not that interesting

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Speaker 2: to me to see a squirrel, but to them it

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Speaker 2: is a doe walking into the other end of the field.

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Speaker 2: Is mildly interesting to me, but it's a big deal

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Speaker 2: to them. They are interested and curious, and that's a

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Speaker 2: good way to go about stuff. It's a hedge against

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Speaker 2: resentment and bitterness a sort of mind hack, if you will.

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Speaker 2: If you go into the woods with a specific expectation

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Speaker 2: about how things are going to go, you are almost

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Speaker 2: always setting yourself up for disappointment. You know, unless you're

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Speaker 2: on a stupid good property that no one else hunts,

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Speaker 2: predictable positive outcomes are few and far between. Instead of

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Speaker 2: looking at a sit where you blanked as being a

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Speaker 2: total failure and a waste of time, ask yourself, why

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Speaker 2: weren't they there? What does it mean? Or better yet,

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Speaker 2: what can you learn from that big old goosegg of

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Speaker 2: a sit? Did it reaffirm your suspicions that you've burned

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Speaker 2: out a spot? Did you think they'd be eating soybeans?

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Speaker 2: But clearly there in the woods nomin on some acorns

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Speaker 2: or something else where? Will you go tomorrow to redeem yourself?

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Speaker 2: Instead of making a covert contract with the deer gods

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Speaker 2: who simply laugh at your follies, make an overt contract

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Speaker 2: with mother Nature. You'll put in the work and keep

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Speaker 2: after it, and she will eventually give you what you

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Speaker 2: came for. It really can be that simple. If you're

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Speaker 2: willing to put in what is necessary over and over

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Speaker 2: and over again, you will be successful. That might not

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Speaker 2: mean you'll kill booners every year, because let's be honest,

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Speaker 2: if you're listening to this podcast, the one hundred and

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Speaker 2: seventy inches are pretty safe from you. But you might

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Speaker 2: kill a good one, or you might just have the

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Speaker 2: season where you're around more deer than ever, where you

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Speaker 2: go into the woods and see deer behavior and have

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Speaker 2: those streaks where you know when you slip into the

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Speaker 2: woods you're going to be around deer. I don't think

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Speaker 2: there's anything more fun than the anticipation of going in

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Speaker 2: just knowing and believing in your heart of hearts that

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Speaker 2: you're going to see a bunch of deer. In fact,

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Speaker 2: it makes me feel a little bad for the people

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Speaker 2: who have such good hunting that they see tons of

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Speaker 2: deer every time they go, only get real excited when

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Speaker 2: a buck they've named and watched for seven years shows up.

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Speaker 2: They'll never know what it's like to string together several

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Speaker 2: clunkers where you'd actually pay to have a squirrel to watch,

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Speaker 2: and then suddenly stumble into something where you see five

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Speaker 2: or six and one sit. It's probably similar to what

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Speaker 2: I hear happens when people get giardia and they ruin

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Speaker 2: their skivvies with embarrassing frequency until they get the right

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Speaker 2: meds and it clears up and they feel like the

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Speaker 2: world is once again a loving and special place. That

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Speaker 2: is straight out of a diarrhea free Disney movie. Real

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Speaker 2: hunting is unpredictable, and that means it's going to break

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Speaker 2: the wrong way a lot. But the wrong way is

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Speaker 2: really in the eye of the beholder. Sure it sucks

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Speaker 2: to suck, but that's a temporary condition. If you use

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Speaker 2: those CITs to figure something out and motivate yourself to

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Speaker 2: keep going to live up to your side of the contract.

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Speaker 2: So do that. Make a deal with the White deal

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Speaker 2: gods or Mother Nature or whoever, and then stick to it. Now,

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Speaker 2: they might flake out and leave you disappointed at the

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Speaker 2: end of the season, but if you keep working on

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Speaker 2: your end, the odds of them not delivering get lower

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Speaker 2: and lower until it's almost and I mean almost, a

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Speaker 2: certainty that something good will happen and you'll get your chance. Also,

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Speaker 2: I mean this with sincerity. Think about those COVID contracts

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Speaker 2: you've made with the folks you care about the most.

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Speaker 2: They are a relationship killer and a fast tracked of

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Speaker 2: misery for all involved. Do that and come back next

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Speaker 2: week because I'm going to talk about how complex deer

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Speaker 2: really are and why that kind of matters and why

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Speaker 2: it kind of doesn't. That's it for this week. I'm

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Speaker 2: Tony Peterson. This has been the Wired Hunt Foundation's podcast,

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Speaker 2: which is brought to you by First Light. As always,

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Speaker 2: thank you so much for listening, for all your support,

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Speaker 2: for heading over there checking out or a white tail

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Speaker 2: week and the sales we got going on all that

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Speaker 2: good stuff. While you're there, if you want some more

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Speaker 2: white tail content, or you want to watch some videos,

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Speaker 2: listen to some podcasts, whatever, it's all there. Look around.

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Speaker 2: You're going to find stuff that you didn't even know

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Speaker 2: Media Too was producing. Maybe you want to cook a

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Speaker 2: little bit and you're going to find a recipe. It's

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Speaker 2: all there. Go check it out the dot com. Hmm