1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: My wife has been playing favorites with our kids. How 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:05,480 Speaker 1: do I fix this? And this is all answering the 3 00:00:05,559 --> 00:00:08,520 Speaker 1: question is favoritism expected between a parent and their children. 4 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:12,160 Speaker 1: The second story comes from Tough Measurements three four five, 5 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:14,520 Speaker 1: and they say my wife has always been the one 6 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:17,120 Speaker 1: to cook around the house, and as the Italian, it's 7 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,280 Speaker 1: one of the reasons I fell so hard for her. 8 00:00:19,560 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: I've offered to help out in the kitchen or even 9 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:25,079 Speaker 1: cook a few times, but she's always firmly, politely told 10 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 1: me no. And I can't really blame her because I 11 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:31,479 Speaker 1: did not get either of my parents' good cooking jeans. 12 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: Because of this, I've always been sure to thank her 13 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,320 Speaker 1: for every meal, and I've taught my children to do 14 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:38,320 Speaker 1: the same. For the past year or so, my son 15 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 1: has been watching a ton of cooking videos on YouTube 16 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 1: and TikTok and he's really been wanting to try his 17 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: hand at cooking. My wife was happy to teach him, 18 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: and at least twice a week, the two of them 19 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,000 Speaker 1: will go out to the store buy ingredients for a 20 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,960 Speaker 1: meal he found on TikTok and come home and make 21 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 1: it. It's been awesome seeing them bond more since they haven't 22 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 1: really had much overlap in interest before this. Well. About 23 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:02,400 Speaker 1: a month ago, after dinner, my son asked his mom 24 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 1: if he could try making us all a meal on 25 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:07,600 Speaker 1: his own. I said it sounded like a great idea, 26 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: and she hemmed and hawed for a little while before agreeing. 27 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,240 Speaker 1: That Saturday, she took him to the store to get 28 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,480 Speaker 1: his ingredients, then he got to work. She supervised here 29 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,160 Speaker 1: and there, but he insisted that she didn't need to, 30 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,759 Speaker 1: so eventually she came to the living room and sat 31 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,240 Speaker 1: with my daughter and I, looking a little bit dejected, 32 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,200 Speaker 1: so I assured her that I was sure he'll still 33 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,040 Speaker 1: want to cook with her. He just wanted to try 34 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,639 Speaker 1: it out on his own. That seemed to help a little, 35 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:35,839 Speaker 1: but she still seemed a bit off. When he finished 36 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:38,040 Speaker 1: and we all sat down to eat, I was honestly 37 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 1: surprised at just how good he managed to do on 38 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,280 Speaker 1: his own. I feel bad for saying it, but even 39 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,679 Speaker 1: after a year or so of cooking with his mother, 40 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 1: I expected him to mess up more than he did. 41 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: I wanted to encourage his interest of his so I 42 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: was sure to let him know while I was eating 43 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 1: how good he did, and gently bring up a few 44 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 1: mistakes he had made. I did a lot more than 45 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 1: I usually would with my wife's cooking, and in hindsight, 46 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 1: I can see that that's what started all of this. 47 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: His sister, being his little sister, was not as supportive 48 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,480 Speaker 1: as I was and quite rudely insulted his cooking. I 49 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:10,360 Speaker 1: was going to tell her to mind her manners and 50 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 1: be thankful that he cooked for us, when my wife 51 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 1: made a sound and pushed her plate away before agreeing 52 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 1: and saying that it was too salty and overcooked. 53 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,640 Speaker 2: That's why would you ever say that to your child, 54 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,640 Speaker 2: who is even if it was even if it was 55 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 2: salty and overcooked, why would you ever say that to also? 56 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,520 Speaker 1: Like push it away? Yeah? 57 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:34,440 Speaker 2: Who someone is? Like does someone who's spent time their 58 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 2: first time doing it alone? And you push it away 59 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:38,799 Speaker 2: and you insult. 60 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 1: It, Yeah, and you feel so sad. Also, to be 61 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,160 Speaker 1: clear of the age, is so my thirty eight male, 62 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,440 Speaker 1: a state home wife forty female, has been treating our son, 63 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:50,560 Speaker 1: twelve male poorly and favoring our daughter nine females. 64 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 2: This is a twelve year old. 65 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 1: Ever since I commident that just is cooking. Yeah, I 66 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:58,200 Speaker 1: mean it's like I think you can give feedback on cruelly. Absolutely, 67 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,799 Speaker 1: and the mom is giving it cruelly. 68 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, you can be like a great job on your 69 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 2: first try, like, let's keep working at this. 70 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,920 Speaker 1: This took me aback, and I could tell my son 71 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:11,440 Speaker 1: took it hard to and his mood visibly dropped. I 72 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 1: didn't say anything at the time, and since my wife 73 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: and I never arguing for the kids, I just kept 74 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,400 Speaker 1: up the praise of my son's cooking, and his mother 75 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,360 Speaker 1: picked up the plate for a little while before she 76 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,960 Speaker 1: took her and her daughter's plates to the kitchen. A 77 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: little while later, I had went to check out my 78 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: son and I could tell that he had been crying, 79 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 1: so I comforted him. I told him I was sure 80 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: his mother loved the food and that she was probably 81 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 1: just having a bad day and to not take it personally. 82 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,080 Speaker 1: Then later, once the kids were asleep, I confronted her 83 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 1: about it, and she tried to just brush it off, 84 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,440 Speaker 1: but I pushed and she got mad and said that 85 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 1: I complimented his cooking far more than I ever complimented hers. 86 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,000 Speaker 2: Okay, you're not a twelve year old. 87 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, but Sha Bang Bang says, jealousy is real in 88 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 1: all ages. 89 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 2: She's very jealous. 90 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 1: She's very jealous. She's very jealous. Yeah. So this called 91 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 1: me off guard since I didn't expect my wife to 92 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 1: be of our son, and I unfortunately let out an 93 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 1: involuntary scoff at this. She blew up at me for laughing, 94 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: and we ended up arguing for a while before eventually 95 00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:12,120 Speaker 1: I managed to explain that I was complimenting him so 96 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,320 Speaker 1: much because I wanted to encourage him to keep cooking, 97 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,560 Speaker 1: and she even admitted that she shouldn't have been so 98 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: harsh about it. She said she would apologize, and I 99 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 1: figured everything was settled. Oh no, but is it settled? 100 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:27,719 Speaker 1: Oh no, it's settled. I don't think so. This Monday, 101 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,479 Speaker 1: when I was driving my son to school, I noticed 102 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 1: he wasn't acting normal and looking out the window, trying 103 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,719 Speaker 1: to hide his face from me. I asked him what 104 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: was wrong, and he told me he was fine, but 105 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,800 Speaker 1: I could tell he was fighting back tears. So I 106 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 1: asked him again and he broke down and told me 107 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,440 Speaker 1: that after I had left to get the car started, 108 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:44,599 Speaker 1: she told him that she was going to be cooking 109 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,360 Speaker 1: alone again from now on. 110 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 2: I hate this woman. 111 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:52,919 Speaker 1: I feel I have a conspiracy theory. She's a stay 112 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:57,159 Speaker 1: at home mom whose husband fell for her because of 113 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:02,159 Speaker 1: her cooking, so literally like her entire her identity, both 114 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 1: as a like provider in the relationship and to the kid, 115 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:09,520 Speaker 1: and also just like in terms of love is it's 116 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,360 Speaker 1: all coming from cooking. Yeah, And so it's like, oh, 117 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 1: this thing that was my connection to my husband is 118 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:19,680 Speaker 1: being taken from my son, which is like totally like 119 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 1: it's not the right way to think about this at all, 120 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 1: but I think that's probably what she's feeling. 121 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:27,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. I think also especially it was kind 122 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:31,160 Speaker 2: of telling for me when Op said that she wouldn't 123 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 2: let him in the kitchen to help, because I think 124 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 2: even if you're not a good cook, I think that 125 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 2: there still should be an emphasis put on like learning. 126 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:39,480 Speaker 1: She's trying to gate keep cooking. 127 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:43,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, She's like, no, this is my domain and I'm gonna, 128 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:45,839 Speaker 2: you know, have complete control over it, and anyone who 129 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:49,520 Speaker 2: like encroaches on it is an enemy, even. 130 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:52,600 Speaker 1: Her own son, even her own son. So she told 131 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 1: me that she was going to be cooking alone again 132 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 1: from now on. I was furious about this, but kept 133 00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 1: Michael and told him I would talk to her about it. 134 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,800 Speaker 1: Bought him a snack from the store before dropping him 135 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: off at school. I left work early so I could 136 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 1: get home before the kids and talk to my wife. 137 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:08,839 Speaker 1: I'll admit I didn't handle it as well as I 138 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 1: could have, and we ended up in a shouting match 139 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 1: where I was calling her childish for being so vindictive 140 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,680 Speaker 1: towards our son because she was upset with me, and 141 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: she called him a baby and said he shouldn't be 142 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,600 Speaker 1: so sad about not being allowed to cook since it 143 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 1: wasn't a man's job to do so. 144 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:30,440 Speaker 2: Anyway, I don't understand this. You're gonna tell him, You're 145 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,279 Speaker 2: gonna tell me, You're gonna go up to Gordon Ramsey, 146 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 2: Ramsey say that he's not a manly man. 147 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,279 Speaker 1: I think, also, this is just an important reminder women 148 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 1: can be misogynists too. 149 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:44,880 Speaker 2: Well, yeah, it's internalized misogyny, Like she has this idea 150 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 2: that only women should be in the kitchen, and so 151 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,039 Speaker 2: he's enforcing that, Yeah, upon herself. 152 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 1: I think we got a little stinky woman action, very stinky, well, 153 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 1: stinky woman. I also like this man is the complete 154 00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:00,159 Speaker 1: opposite of the last story, but the woman is the 155 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 1: complete embodiment of the. 156 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:03,279 Speaker 2: Of those values. 157 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 1: Of those values. 158 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, you're telling me that you're going to go 159 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:07,840 Speaker 2: up to car me from the bear. He's not a 160 00:07:07,839 --> 00:07:08,480 Speaker 2: manly man. Bro. 161 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:10,920 Speaker 1: Have you seen that Calvin Klein thing. 162 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 2: That's a malely man. 163 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:12,840 Speaker 1: That's a manly man. 164 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:13,520 Speaker 2: That's a malely man. 165 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 1: That is a manly man who cooks a manly man food. 166 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: So we ended up leaving each other alone to cook 167 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,680 Speaker 1: out cook, let him cook. We ended up leading each 168 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: other alone. Ye, let him cook, Let him cook. We 169 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,680 Speaker 1: ended up leaving each other alone to cool down. And 170 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 1: when our kids got home, my wife took our daughter 171 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: out and came back later with a load of toys 172 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 1: enclosed for she's literally doubling down. Yeah, she's doubling down 173 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 1: on this, like kid favoritism. 174 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:47,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, she's she's rewarding her daughter for going with what 175 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 2: she like, with her ideas of what. 176 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 1: Well she's she's basically punishing the sun for crying by 177 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:57,520 Speaker 1: rewarding the daughter for not Yes, yeah, I knew immediately 178 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,480 Speaker 1: what she was trying to do, And that night I 179 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 1: told her that I would not let her use the 180 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:05,080 Speaker 1: money I make for our family to punish my son, 181 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,480 Speaker 1: which I don't know if you could say either, but 182 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 1: you could say, like you should not use our family's 183 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,520 Speaker 1: money to punish, punish. 184 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,600 Speaker 2: Our We're doing a nice thing. 185 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,160 Speaker 1: We're doing He literally is cooking for the family. 186 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:21,239 Speaker 2: I don't understand. And also a lot of people are saying. 187 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:25,240 Speaker 1: Divorce, Yeah, is this, oh chat? Is this a divorce 188 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:29,119 Speaker 1: worthy offense? Divorce or not? Put your answers. I feel 189 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 1: like I feel like she's escalating. So there there may 190 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 1: there may be a point where it becomes divorce worthy. 191 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:38,960 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's there yet, but. 192 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,720 Speaker 2: But I think I think if it continues, down continues, 193 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 2: it is a complete They just have completely different ideas 194 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:45,640 Speaker 2: of how parenting. 195 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:47,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, the f yeah, aclee. 196 00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 2: It's like it's like in Aristocrats when the little the 197 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 2: little girl cat she gets in fights with her brothers 198 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:57,319 Speaker 2: and a duchess. The mom she's like, maybis don't start fights, 199 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,200 Speaker 2: and the little girl cats like, I don't start fights, 200 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:00,360 Speaker 2: but I've finished them. 201 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,880 Speaker 1: Yeah. So she didn't take this well and we ended 202 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: up arguing again. I slept in the guest room and 203 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 1: have been up to this point for this past month. 204 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:12,200 Speaker 1: My wife has kept up this vindictive showering of our 205 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 1: daughter with attention and gifts, while almost entirely ignoring my 206 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,560 Speaker 1: son I've been talking to my parents and brother about this, 207 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: and while they agree she's wrong, they also don't see 208 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:24,360 Speaker 1: it as that big of a problem and think it'll 209 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,560 Speaker 1: sort itself out. At this point, with how she's been 210 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:30,080 Speaker 1: treating our son, I'm starting to fall out of love 211 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:30,480 Speaker 1: with her. 212 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,680 Speaker 2: I mean a month of treatment. 213 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,679 Speaker 1: This isn't just like a slip up. Last story, slip 214 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 1: up guy was like. 215 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 2: Oh, five hours later, five hours. 216 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 1: Later, was like, oh crap, I can't believe what I've done. 217 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:45,679 Speaker 2: Mealy reworked his like ideas about gender. 218 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,679 Speaker 1: This person, Yeah, exactly like five hours later, but saw 219 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:51,520 Speaker 1: she that was me five. 220 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:56,439 Speaker 2: Hours Triarchy's actually behind all of the world's problems. 221 00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I feel like in the last story, it's like, oh, 222 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,079 Speaker 1: I realize I'm wrong. I have But what he didn't 223 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 1: say like I'm absolved. He says, Oh, I realize I'm wrong. 224 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,680 Speaker 1: I now have work to do. Yeah, which is which 225 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 1: is like the best thing you to do. It's like, I, oh, wow, 226 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:12,679 Speaker 1: I'm wrong, perspective change. Now let's work on actually. 227 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,800 Speaker 2: Fixing my relationship with my kids. Yeah, but this p 228 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:18,800 Speaker 2: she's doublings, dabbling down on all the worst things that 229 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,800 Speaker 2: she could do. But I also don't want to jump 230 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:21,240 Speaker 2: to divorce. 231 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 1: If there's something that I can do to fix this 232 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,719 Speaker 1: whole situation, I can honestly say that we've never had 233 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,199 Speaker 1: a fight this big. Sure we bick her every now 234 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,360 Speaker 1: and then, but she's never taken that out on my 235 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 1: son in the past. I feel responsible and guilty about 236 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:35,679 Speaker 1: what happened, and I've been trying to do nice things 237 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,640 Speaker 1: for my son when I can, but I also don't 238 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 1: want to mirror my wife's behavior. So I've been taking 239 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 1: my daughter with us about half the time to go 240 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 1: to the places, but whenever we do, she's been very 241 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,560 Speaker 1: rude and always talks about all the stuff her mother 242 00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:52,600 Speaker 1: does for her lately because she knows it bothers her brother, 243 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,720 Speaker 1: which is like, basically, the daughter has already had these 244 00:10:56,040 --> 00:11:00,199 Speaker 1: predilections to be mean to her brother, and instead of 245 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,720 Speaker 1: the parents shutting that down and saying no, you should. 246 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,199 Speaker 2: Not, she's rewarding it. 247 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:07,600 Speaker 1: She is rewarding it exactly. Seeing the way my wife 248 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,560 Speaker 1: has been treating our son has made me second guess 249 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 1: our marriage. But I don't want to jump straight to 250 00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,120 Speaker 1: divorce either. Any advice on what to do or how 251 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:17,359 Speaker 1: to best bring up the topic of therapy would be appreciated. 252 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 1: There are some relevant comments and a fat, juicy thick update, 253 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,840 Speaker 1: But yeah, what do you think OP should do? So 254 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:30,960 Speaker 1: Op does not want a divorce, although eighty percent of 255 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 1: you say it is divorce worthy, I think it is 256 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,320 Speaker 1: in the chat. I think after a month, I think. 257 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,959 Speaker 2: After a month that gets into divorce. 258 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:41,480 Speaker 1: And you know what you could even do. It's like, hey, 259 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,240 Speaker 1: maybe this is the start of divorce territory where it's like, hey, 260 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,000 Speaker 1: I am like, say what you're saying here, I am 261 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,960 Speaker 1: falling out of love with you because of how you're 262 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 1: treating your son. If this keeps happening, I feel like 263 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,760 Speaker 1: I don't know if I can be with you. 264 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,800 Speaker 2: I don't know if I can continue this marriage. And 265 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,280 Speaker 2: I don't know if I feel comfortable having you take 266 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 2: care of our kids. 267 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 1: And I'm I want to work on this. Let's go 268 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 1: to therapy, let's figure something out. But yeah, I mean 269 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,600 Speaker 1: it is getting pretty bad. Yeah, but there could also 270 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 1: be like this fear of Okay, if when Op brought 271 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:18,679 Speaker 1: it to his family, when Op brought it to his 272 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,439 Speaker 1: wife the first time, she doubled down on the treatment. 273 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:25,000 Speaker 1: Does she cripple down now that she feels like her 274 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 1: marriage is falling apart. 275 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,480 Speaker 2: Maybe I think there's a lot. I think there's that fear. 276 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:29,920 Speaker 2: I think I was also going to say there's a 277 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,360 Speaker 2: fear of he had already talked to his other family 278 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,080 Speaker 2: members and they had said, oh, it's not a big deal. 279 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:35,720 Speaker 2: So I think there might be a doubting it. 280 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think I think the relevant comments should 281 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,959 Speaker 1: help him figure it out. So relevant comments op on 282 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,840 Speaker 1: having conversations with his wife about their son's feelings and 283 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:47,280 Speaker 1: Opie's concerned on her behavior. OPI responds, thank you very much. 284 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:50,640 Speaker 1: I've tried with her about the whole situation multiple times, 285 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 1: but she's very quick to dismiss me in my concerns. 286 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,280 Speaker 1: So hopefully using some of these ideas you've given me 287 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:59,440 Speaker 1: can help. Quite frankly, the whole cooking is a woman's 288 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:02,959 Speaker 1: job really blew my mind, since she's never said anything 289 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 1: like that before, and even used to fight with her 290 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,520 Speaker 1: mother about those kinds of comments when mother in law 291 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 1: would make them about our daughter and nieces. I'm sure 292 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:13,080 Speaker 1: if she genuinely feels that way or is just pulling 293 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,600 Speaker 1: stuff out of the air in the heat of the moment. 294 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:17,960 Speaker 2: Here is the theory, what if the mother in law 295 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,920 Speaker 2: is like putting these things into her mind. 296 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:24,599 Speaker 1: I mean through raising her or now now because I 297 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,320 Speaker 1: don't think so, because I feel like the reaction was 298 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 1: so instant. Yeah, in when I still think. 299 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 2: She's the Ahle regardless. To be clearer, Yeah, I'm just 300 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:37,440 Speaker 2: wondering if maybe she's listening to her mother and mother. 301 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:42,199 Speaker 1: Definitely maybe a lot of her feelings are backed. 302 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:43,600 Speaker 2: Up by her mother, by her mother. 303 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, if she's having these feelings. But updates, This is 304 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 1: June thirteenth, twenty twenty four, so not that long ago. Obligatory, 305 00:13:49,559 --> 00:13:52,040 Speaker 1: but genuine thank you all for the support, even the 306 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,040 Speaker 1: comments they got a bit nasty, that kind of pushed 307 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,560 Speaker 1: back helped me to realize and see things were a 308 00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:59,280 Speaker 1: lot worse than I realized. Some of you could do 309 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:02,120 Speaker 1: with being a bit but the advice is appreciated all 310 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,800 Speaker 1: the same. Short recap, my wife and son cooked dinner 311 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,240 Speaker 1: together most nights for about a year. My son wanted 312 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,880 Speaker 1: to try cooking dinner on his own, which my wife accepted, 313 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:13,120 Speaker 1: but started acting funny. She ended up rudely criticizing his meal. 314 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 1: Then the next day she told him that she would 315 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,040 Speaker 1: do the cooking on her own from then on, and 316 00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 1: after I confronted her about this, she started neglecting Slash 317 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:24,360 Speaker 1: emotionally abusing him while shoveling positivity on our daughter. Well, 318 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,760 Speaker 1: the first thing I did after making my previous post 319 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,640 Speaker 1: was take my son to my parents' house to tell 320 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 1: them what was happening from his mouth. I figured they 321 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,040 Speaker 1: may be more receptive to seeing the pain their grandson 322 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,280 Speaker 1: was going through and not just write it off like 323 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,720 Speaker 1: they had with me. They ended up being understanding and 324 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,240 Speaker 1: supportive of my next move, which was kicking my wife 325 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 1: out till she worked through whatever problem she was going through. 326 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,920 Speaker 1: Can't he just do that? Do what? Just kick her 327 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,000 Speaker 1: out of the house? I don't know, because it's like, 328 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,600 Speaker 1: if they're married, it's her house too, right. 329 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. 330 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,440 Speaker 1: I think it's a good idea, but I'm I'm curious 331 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,960 Speaker 1: how he got her to agree with them. 332 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,960 Speaker 2: Well, maybe it was like can out of my house? 333 00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know. That doesn't seem like op though basically. 334 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 2: It doesn't know. I don't Yeah, I don't know. 335 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:11,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm a little confused. Anyway. Next, I went to 336 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:13,120 Speaker 1: a lawyer and consulted with him He told me it 337 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:15,240 Speaker 1: would be best to have the papers ready to go, 338 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,640 Speaker 1: even if I wasn't sure I wanted a divorce yet, 339 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:19,560 Speaker 1: because it's better to get it done as quick as 340 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:22,040 Speaker 1: possible if I decided to go through with it, because 341 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:24,800 Speaker 1: in Canada you have to separate for a year or 342 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,320 Speaker 1: prove abuse or adultery. 343 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,800 Speaker 2: Oh to divorce, to divorce? WHOA, I didn't know that. 344 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:33,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think we read about that, and I've heard 345 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,160 Speaker 1: about that from Canada and previous story. 346 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:36,480 Speaker 2: That feels strange. 347 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,440 Speaker 1: Well, I feel like it could make It's like prove 348 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:42,800 Speaker 1: that you want to divorce for maybe like prevents like 349 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 1: a divorce annulments or something. 350 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,400 Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like, if you want to 351 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,440 Speaker 2: spend the money on the divorce, do. 352 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:50,840 Speaker 1: It, do it well. I took the kids to my 353 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:54,440 Speaker 1: folk's house the next Saturday and came back with my mother. 354 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,160 Speaker 1: I let her talk with my wife first, then when 355 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,520 Speaker 1: they were done, I told her that I needed to 356 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 1: leave the house until she sorted out whatever was causing 357 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,440 Speaker 1: her to act this way to our son. She surprisingly 358 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,960 Speaker 1: agreed to this. I'm guessing hearing things from my mother 359 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 1: knocked some sense into her, as they were always quite 360 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,480 Speaker 1: close I told her that my parents were willing to 361 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:14,440 Speaker 1: let her stay there during the time because her parents 362 00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:16,320 Speaker 1: lived too far away, or I could put her up 363 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,680 Speaker 1: in a nearby motel. I would also pay for her 364 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 1: to see a therapist every week, which I told her 365 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:24,160 Speaker 1: was mandatory for fixing things. Our kids spent the night 366 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,520 Speaker 1: with my parents and we moved her out. The next day. 367 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,360 Speaker 1: We both sat with the kids and told them what 368 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:31,160 Speaker 1: was happening. Our son understood, but our daughter didn't, and 369 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,480 Speaker 1: it was quite upset, but eventually we calmed her down. 370 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,320 Speaker 1: Things went well for the first month or so. She 371 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,560 Speaker 1: went all the weekly appointments, and I met her for 372 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,920 Speaker 1: dinner a few nights a week with the kids, and 373 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 1: she seemed to be treating our son properly. Again. I 374 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,400 Speaker 1: was really hopeful that she had been making progress. I 375 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,160 Speaker 1: see you if you see where this is going. Oh no. 376 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:52,160 Speaker 1: Then the friday after her fifth therapy appointment, she sent 377 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:56,240 Speaker 1: me a wall of text messages about how I was 378 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 1: the a hole and I was trying to steal her 379 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 1: children from her, and how I was probably affing someone 380 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,639 Speaker 1: on the side. I tried calling her to see what 381 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,399 Speaker 1: she was talking about, but I think she shut her 382 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,520 Speaker 1: phone off. I called my mother and she told me 383 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,720 Speaker 1: that my wife had left the house earlier that day 384 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:14,480 Speaker 1: with all her stuff without saying anything to my mom. 385 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:15,960 Speaker 2: What is going on? 386 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 1: I'm not one hundred per sure what happened next, since 387 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,440 Speaker 1: my wife has refused to tell me most details and 388 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,320 Speaker 1: I can't get in contact with the friends she was with. 389 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,520 Speaker 1: The best I can beast together was that she had 390 00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,800 Speaker 1: told her best friend about what was happening, and that 391 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,240 Speaker 1: my friend started telling her all about how I was 392 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,480 Speaker 1: just trying to kick her out and steal her kids. 393 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,600 Speaker 1: She then moved in with her friend and went on 394 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:40,720 Speaker 1: a week long bender of clubbing, drinking, and substances. When 395 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,879 Speaker 1: we were younger, we did our fair share of stupid 396 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:45,880 Speaker 1: crap together, so while this was surprising, it was most 397 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:49,560 Speaker 1: likely her dumb friends convincing her to relive the glory days, 398 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,119 Speaker 1: and she probably I'm guessing she cheated. I'm guessing she cheated. 399 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,960 Speaker 1: I'm guessing she cheated. Kimberly Fine, says fish Market, and 400 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,560 Speaker 1: the wife isn't a sushi chef. Yeah, she's stinky. She's stinky. 401 00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,439 Speaker 1: Heard anything from her for about a week. Then I 402 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:03,960 Speaker 1: got a text from her friend telling me I was 403 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:06,480 Speaker 1: a loser, that my wife was too good for me, 404 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:12,280 Speaker 1: and that she was effing a younger guy whoa WHOA 405 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:13,840 Speaker 1: what called it? 406 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:18,080 Speaker 2: This wife literally just had like a breakdown because what 407 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 2: just happened. 408 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,879 Speaker 1: I tried to demand she gave my wife the phone 409 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,360 Speaker 1: so I could talk with her, but I never got 410 00:18:24,359 --> 00:18:26,919 Speaker 1: a reply. I screenshot of the text for evidence if 411 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,480 Speaker 1: I needed it. I ended up getting a call from 412 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:32,360 Speaker 1: the hospital at like three in the morning that Sunday. 413 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:35,879 Speaker 1: My wife had odd on something and was dropped off 414 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:38,720 Speaker 1: at the er by someone who didn't stick around. Since 415 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:41,639 Speaker 1: I was her emergency contact, they reached out to me. 416 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,119 Speaker 1: I called my mom to come watch the kids and 417 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,440 Speaker 1: headed over there. They managed to get her stabilized and 418 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,840 Speaker 1: were treating her. I stuck around for a few hours, 419 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,960 Speaker 1: and she was in and out of consciousness, and when 420 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:54,040 Speaker 1: she was who wasn't very talkative. When she properly woke up, 421 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:57,159 Speaker 1: she started apologizing for everything, and that's when I found 422 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,800 Speaker 1: out the few details I know about her friend. And 423 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,680 Speaker 1: then I asked her if she had been effing someone 424 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,960 Speaker 1: else like her friend said, and she didn't reply, which 425 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:08,440 Speaker 1: was much of an answer as I needed. She kept 426 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,520 Speaker 1: trying to apologize, and I just kept my cool and 427 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,159 Speaker 1: told her this wasn't the time or the place for this. 428 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 1: Oh man, we're we are circling the end of this story. 429 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:20,439 Speaker 1: Right now, John is coming in for the finale. But John, 430 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:23,679 Speaker 1: it is a it is op is, in fact not 431 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,840 Speaker 1: the OPI is the a hole. I totally disagree. So 432 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,479 Speaker 1: you're getting in on a dark section. Yeah, getting in 433 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:34,560 Speaker 1: on a dark section. But basically tld R for John 434 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:39,560 Speaker 1: so OPI and his wife her forties. Opie's wife is 435 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:42,400 Speaker 1: a stay at home mom. She Opie fun in love 436 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,520 Speaker 1: with her because of her cooking, and she's like a 437 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,399 Speaker 1: really good cook. That's kind of like like where she 438 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,480 Speaker 1: senses a lot of identity. Her twelve year old son 439 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:54,040 Speaker 1: started showing interest in cooking, and they cook together like 440 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,159 Speaker 1: every night for a year. And then her son was like, 441 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:58,920 Speaker 1: I would like to cook dinner alone today, and she 442 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:00,720 Speaker 1: was like okay. And then and she started to get 443 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,200 Speaker 1: super jealous of the son because he wanted to cook 444 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:06,399 Speaker 1: more alone and started being actively an a hole to 445 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,639 Speaker 1: the son, like saying really mean things about the cooking. 446 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:12,639 Speaker 1: And then Abe was Opie's wife right. Opie's wife was 447 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,520 Speaker 1: actively saying like really mean things about the cooking, and 448 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:19,879 Speaker 1: then the daughter was being mean to Opie's son as well, 449 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:24,280 Speaker 1: and the wife encouraged the daughter and then spoiled her 450 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,560 Speaker 1: with like toys and stuff, and it was getting worse 451 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,800 Speaker 1: and worse and worse. Then Opie's like, hey, I'm falling 452 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 1: out of love with you. If you don't fix this, 453 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:34,360 Speaker 1: our marriage is going to be over. Yeah, and said like, hey, 454 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 1: you go away while you work on it. Then she 455 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 1: went to a friend's went to a bender, probably cheated 456 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,600 Speaker 1: on him and just odeed. Ended up in the hospital, 457 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:46,520 Speaker 1: and Opie was her emergency contact, and that's how he 458 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,640 Speaker 1: finds out. That's how he finds out that she well, 459 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:53,040 Speaker 1: she knew her. Apparently her friend had said something earlier 460 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,240 Speaker 1: and it was like, hey, your wife is effing a 461 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,400 Speaker 1: much younger guy. She doesn't need you, which terrible. 462 00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:01,280 Speaker 3: Friend, but you were lying, okay, please h yes, tell 463 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:01,840 Speaker 3: me read me. 464 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,560 Speaker 1: So we ended up leaving at about eight am the 465 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:06,600 Speaker 1: next day. I got her back to my parents' place, 466 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,320 Speaker 1: got her into a bed, and just before I left, 467 00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:10,480 Speaker 1: I put the papers on the table beside the bed 468 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:12,720 Speaker 1: and told her that I expected her to sign them 469 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 1: within the week, and that I had proof she cheated 470 00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:17,480 Speaker 1: on me during her bender. I had told my parents 471 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,479 Speaker 1: I was planning on doing this on the phone, so 472 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,040 Speaker 1: I wasn't just dumping the drama on them without warning. 473 00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:24,200 Speaker 1: The kids are both doing fine. They don't know anything 474 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,399 Speaker 1: of what happened with their mother or the divorce. All 475 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,080 Speaker 1: they know is that my wife is still moved out 476 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,919 Speaker 1: and that she's busy getting better, so we're not going 477 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,800 Speaker 1: to see her as much. I'll probably tell them in 478 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,280 Speaker 1: a couple of weeks whenever school lets out for the summer, 479 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:36,280 Speaker 1: so it doesn't affect their learning. Over the next couple 480 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 1: of weeks, I've gotten countless calls from her, ranging from 481 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 1: begging for a second chance, screaming at me that she 482 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,920 Speaker 1: hated me and she was going to make my life hell, 483 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,400 Speaker 1: going back and forth every other day. I've also been 484 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:53,280 Speaker 1: getting vitriolic texts from her family and friends, calling me 485 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 1: all sorts of names and threatening that if I don't 486 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,000 Speaker 1: drop the divorce, I'll regret it, all of which have 487 00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:02,399 Speaker 1: been screenshotted, which probably contribute to the abuse clause of 488 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,600 Speaker 1: the divorce thing, because in Canada you have to be 489 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,720 Speaker 1: separated for a year before getting divorced unless you can 490 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:11,560 Speaker 1: prove abuse or infidelity, and OP kind of has both 491 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:19,040 Speaker 1: right the full package. My parents agree that divorce is 492 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,760 Speaker 1: the best, but they're questioning my timing and wondering if 493 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,320 Speaker 1: I should have picked a better time to do that 494 00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:25,360 Speaker 1: than when she is fresh out of the hospital. I'm 495 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,280 Speaker 1: one hundred percent sure I want her out of my life, 496 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,120 Speaker 1: and I plan on going for full custody of my children, 497 00:22:30,200 --> 00:22:32,000 Speaker 1: as I don't want them around my wife if this 498 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,480 Speaker 1: behavior is what she's willing to stoop to. And while 499 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,280 Speaker 1: I do want it to be done as soon as possible, 500 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,840 Speaker 1: I'm wondering if I should take back the papers and 501 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,120 Speaker 1: tell her I've changed my mind, at least until she's 502 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 1: a bit more stable at it. I saw comment suggesting 503 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 1: I take my kids to therapy to explain the situations 504 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,159 Speaker 1: of them. I have a session set up with a 505 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,600 Speaker 1: therapist in a week, just wanted to wait a tiny 506 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,479 Speaker 1: bit longer for their school to be finished as soon 507 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,080 Speaker 1: as possible. I forgot to include it when I first 508 00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:56,960 Speaker 1: typed it out and irrelevant comment and a response from 509 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,600 Speaker 1: OP to close us out. Miss Turk twenty twenty says, 510 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,439 Speaker 1: app absolutely do not take back the papers. Your marriage 511 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,720 Speaker 1: is over and she killed it. She stabbed like she 512 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,600 Speaker 1: kept stabbing the marriage until it just died. Opie gave 513 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:12,520 Speaker 1: her so many chances, and she's like, no, this dies now. 514 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,879 Speaker 1: She needs to take accountability for what she did, and 515 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,080 Speaker 1: you are trying to get her off the hook. In 516 00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 1: my opinion, I would advise your lawyer what's going on 517 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,119 Speaker 1: and listen and follow the advice given. You should be 518 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:26,000 Speaker 1: filing for full custody. In my opinion, you can always 519 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,600 Speaker 1: loosen restrictions later. And I think that's an important point 520 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,359 Speaker 1: where it's like, you can't you file for full stuff 521 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:35,280 Speaker 1: custody so you can control the situation, especially if your 522 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:37,600 Speaker 1: partner is not mentally there. 523 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:38,480 Speaker 2: Kids. 524 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:41,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, and Opie responds, Yeah. After I serve for the papers, 525 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,719 Speaker 1: I got in contact with him again and I have been 526 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,080 Speaker 1: telling him everything that has been happening. He has every 527 00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:48,640 Speaker 1: screenshot I've collected so far and I'm filling him in 528 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:52,320 Speaker 1: on any updates. I appreciate the advice, Bill, and that 529 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,480 Speaker 1: is where this story ends. 530 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,840 Speaker 3: As Brittany John said in the chat, Opie hit the 531 00:23:57,920 --> 00:23:59,240 Speaker 3: Canadian divorce lottery. 532 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, uh, I'm sorry you had to hit that lottery, 533 00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:05,760 Speaker 1: but at least the divorce will be expedited. B b 534 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:14,000 Speaker 1: b OPI, you're really winning. I do think where OPI 535 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 1: is winning is father Award, because I think he is 536 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:24,080 Speaker 1: really doing everything right in a extremely terrible situation like 537 00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:27,679 Speaker 1: this is about as bad as it could be, and oh, 538 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,119 Speaker 1: he's making all the right moves. So shout out, shout 539 00:24:30,119 --> 00:24:31,600 Speaker 1: out to him for for doing that. 540 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,800 Speaker 3: You know, when you're when you're a great person in 541 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,720 Speaker 3: the worst of circumstances, that says a lot to one's character. 542 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,879 Speaker 1: I completely agree. But yeah, I mean that's where this 543 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 1: story ends. I think again we go back to this 544 00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:46,840 Speaker 1: question should it be expected that parents have favorites in 545 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,040 Speaker 1: their children? And I think we get back to this 546 00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:52,080 Speaker 1: point of like, it may be natural to be gravitating, 547 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,160 Speaker 1: gravitating to one kid or another, but if that ever 548 00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:57,879 Speaker 1: comes out obviously in your actions, you need to do 549 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 1: everything you can to scale that and make sure that 550 00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:05,040 Speaker 1: your children never feel like there's a favorite, because that's 551 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:07,560 Speaker 1: so damaging to self esteem, to douper damaging. 552 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think treating kids like equitably work. Like maybe 553 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:11,920 Speaker 3: one has I don't know if they mentioned this, like 554 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 3: an interest that you share, it's like, oh, hey, I'll 555 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,080 Speaker 3: do this, and I might have to be very mindful 556 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:17,720 Speaker 3: for the other kid that I might have not have 557 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:19,560 Speaker 3: as much in comment with, and maybe you almost try 558 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,400 Speaker 3: a little bit more just because you lack that point 559 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:21,840 Speaker 3: of connection. 560 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:23,440 Speaker 2: That's exactly what the last it was about. 561 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, but uh And Josephine Medola Burques, thanks for a 562 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:30,720 Speaker 1: twenty seven sec all of this because her son likes cooking. Literally, 563 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,800 Speaker 1: she had a mental breakdown because her son likes cooking. 564 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:37,160 Speaker 1: Get her out of my face. If that isn't a misogynist, 565 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:38,119 Speaker 1: I don't know what is. 566 00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:39,679 Speaker 2: But ain't that the truth? 567 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:42,760 Speaker 1: Ain't that a brother? Well? I think that's where that ends. 568 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:45,280 Speaker 1: So if you love us, make sure to subscribe. We 569 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:47,560 Speaker 1: love you and see you tomorrow.