WEBVTT - S4/E8 | Care 0:00:04.000 --> 0:00:08.280 Thirteen Days of Halloween Penance, a co production of iHeart 0:00:08.280 --> 0:00:11.879 three D Audio Blumhouse Television and Grim and Mild from 0:00:11.920 --> 0:00:16.160 Aaron Nankey. Headphones recommended, Listener discretion advised. 0:00:25.239 --> 0:00:27.680 What is there to say about prison life that hasn't 0:00:27.680 --> 0:00:33.440 been said a million times before? It is so boring. 0:00:34.560 --> 0:00:39.680 Likes up on your feet, the same shit every. 0:00:39.520 --> 0:00:44.600 Day you again, move along. 0:00:45.600 --> 0:00:47.960 I imagine some people thrive on that routine. 0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:49.279 Checkmate. 0:00:49.720 --> 0:00:53.400 Not if I move here, checkmate, still. 0:00:53.120 --> 0:00:56.280 Know and that it beats down those who fight back. 0:00:57.120 --> 0:00:57.560 Checkmate. 0:00:58.040 --> 0:01:00.400 No, that's oh darn. 0:01:01.680 --> 0:01:02.080 They say. 0:01:02.120 --> 0:01:06.840 The pen gets everyone eventually, either by force or attrition. 0:01:09.800 --> 0:01:16.960 What's nuke all? My question is what are they after? 0:01:18.080 --> 0:01:20.399 It's your turn to share today, sireen. 0:01:20.240 --> 0:01:22.440 But I don't have anything to say. 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:23.959 How does that make you feel? 0:01:26.360 --> 0:01:32.319 If they can keep us physically detained, I'm going if 0:01:32.360 --> 0:01:34.320 they have ways to enter our minds. 0:01:34.800 --> 0:01:36.880 Any side effects from the medication. 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:39.479 Makes me sick to my stomach. Maybe time to up 0:01:39.480 --> 0:01:42.759 your dosage. What's left but the soul? 0:01:43.800 --> 0:01:48.160 Take and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, 0:01:48.880 --> 0:01:52.520 and my entire will. All I have and all my 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:55.120 own You have given all to me. 0:01:56.280 --> 0:02:01.480 I swear no matter what, I refuse to submit choice. 0:02:01.920 --> 0:02:04.680 But I also wonder how long can I hold out? 0:02:06.160 --> 0:02:09.799 Already I'm starting to lose track of time, Identical days 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:13.239 turning into identical weeks, filling identical months against a clock 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:17.280 and calendar that I have no reason to trust. I 0:02:17.360 --> 0:02:20.840 wonder what is all this time doing to me? How 0:02:20.919 --> 0:02:21.720 is it changing me? 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:24.120 Has something changed about you? 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:27.400 Well, I've practically quit smoking. 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:28.520 Good for you. 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:33.800 I've started going to church at least more regularly. I noticed, 0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:39.000 and well, I was just so angry when I got here. 0:02:39.560 --> 0:02:43.880 I'm still angry, furious. Actually, if I could, I'd trample 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:46.359 those guards, break straight through the wall, burn this whole 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:47.800 place of the ground, and never look back. 0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:50.000 But something's changed. 0:02:50.680 --> 0:02:53.920 Well, that kind of rage was hurting more than it 0:02:53.960 --> 0:03:00.720 was helping me specifically, And if the anger isn't gone, 0:03:01.000 --> 0:03:03.560 maybe it's a little more contained. 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:06.200 If you were to give it a word, would it 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:07.800 be fair to say patience? 0:03:10.320 --> 0:03:12.680 I hate to think that I'm just waiting around. That 0:03:12.760 --> 0:03:13.720 makes me feel so weak. 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:19.280 I would say it demonstrates tremendous strength. Whoever is patient 0:03:19.320 --> 0:03:23.840 has great understanding, But one who is quick tempered displays folly. 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:27.200 But understanding about what how to marchin a line, what 0:03:27.360 --> 0:03:30.040 not to eat in the cafeteria, who to avoid contact 0:03:30.040 --> 0:03:31.680 with if you don't want a knight stick to the gut. 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:37.560 Maybe a more personal understanding. Humans have an innate desire 0:03:37.680 --> 0:03:41.120 for control over their own lives. It's a fallacy, really, 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:45.520 but even the sense of control can be powerful. The 0:03:45.600 --> 0:03:48.640 freedom to make your own choices, to set your own 0:03:48.720 --> 0:03:52.840 goals can come to define your very identity. So what 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:57.080 happens when that illusion of control vanishes? 0:03:58.080 --> 0:04:03.200 You lose your mind or you grow Ah crap, do 0:04:03.240 --> 0:04:04.080 you know what time it is? 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:05.600 About twelve thirty? 0:04:05.600 --> 0:04:08.200 I think, well, I gotta get to the rec center. 0:04:08.760 --> 0:04:10.280 Exercise can be good for the soul. 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:14.400 Well maybe it's just uh, I'm supposed to. 0:04:14.320 --> 0:04:17.400 Meet someone, meet someone. 0:04:17.640 --> 0:04:21.200 Yeah, well, don't keep them waiting. 0:04:22.920 --> 0:04:24.320 Thank you, chaplain. 0:04:24.839 --> 0:04:26.000 I hope to see you tomorrow. 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:27.440 Why what's tomorrow? 0:04:28.080 --> 0:04:28.800 Christmas? Eve? 0:04:29.360 --> 0:04:29.560 Oh? 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:33.800 Snap, I gotta find a gift. Okay. 0:04:34.080 --> 0:04:38.160 Leaving the chapel means libraries on my left, TV rooms. 0:04:37.920 --> 0:04:39.680 On my room. 0:04:39.839 --> 0:04:45.400 Here's a weight room, the art room. I just need 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:51.520 to go down these stairs. Rodriguez, I'm never gonna get 0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:52.040 used to that. 0:04:53.080 --> 0:04:54.159 What do you think you're doing? 0:04:54.640 --> 0:04:58.239 Uh, recreation, not like that. You're not, but I'm sure 0:04:58.240 --> 0:05:02.280 this is the right door. That hair, my hair. What's 0:05:02.279 --> 0:05:05.520 the last time you had a cut. Hmmm, well I 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:07.360 came in before Easter. 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:10.720 Weekend, so right, Captain has strict policies. 0:05:11.000 --> 0:05:12.880 Mm okay, I'll get right on that. 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:21.120 Now with me, let go, I said I could walk, Lorena, 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:22.719 you got space for one more. This one here has 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:24.080 never seen a brush in your life. 0:05:24.360 --> 0:05:26.920 Oh, I'm sorry, didn't know. I was here to impress. 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:32.400 Your hair is like a nest birds or spiders. I'm 0:05:32.400 --> 0:05:33.159 afraid to look. 0:05:33.640 --> 0:05:35.960 Then don't go. Go. 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:38.560 I'll take care of this one. Don't be afraid to 0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:39.600 use a little force. 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:43.040 Maybe I do need a trim. 0:05:43.440 --> 0:05:47.640 No, you needed a trim three months ago. Now, Mirena, 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:52.960 what you need is a miracle good thing. I'm mean. Come, 0:05:53.200 --> 0:05:57.440 I wash first, then we gleam. So what's your style? 0:05:58.000 --> 0:06:01.719 Are you more a pixie cot or maybe a little framing? 0:06:02.000 --> 0:06:04.040 Give some shape to that pretty face. 0:06:04.480 --> 0:06:07.760 No, you're not listening. I don't want you to do anything, 0:06:08.440 --> 0:06:09.719 just a trem. 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:13.239 Oh, but indulge me. There must be something you want. 0:06:13.600 --> 0:06:15.120 Come on, you can tell me. 0:06:15.880 --> 0:06:16.720 Don't fight it. 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:19.599 She'll get it at it you always does do. 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:20.960 What I wanted before I did. 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:24.479 She's always right. By the time I'm done, I'll have 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:25.840 you a feeling all new. 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:28.159 Look. It's nothing personal. I just don't spend a lot 0:06:28.200 --> 0:06:29.520 of time thinking about how I look. 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:31.200 Oh, Jerre one of those? 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:32.800 Aren't you one of those? 0:06:33.360 --> 0:06:34.800 Here? Sit lean back? 0:06:34.880 --> 0:06:35.960 What is that supposed to mean? 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:41.360 I'll change you if you sit, Let me guess you'll 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:45.760 turn away makeup and hair styling. And she close, saying 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:50.479 you're not into fashion? But nonina, no service. Is that 0:06:50.480 --> 0:06:52.160 that's a fashion statement in itself? 0:06:52.400 --> 0:06:54.200 No, that's not I don't know. 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:56.880 Deny, then I deny, but I seen you? 0:06:57.640 --> 0:07:00.360 Oh and what because you cut someone's hair gives you 0:07:00.440 --> 0:07:01.560 license to judge them. 0:07:02.320 --> 0:07:05.000 There's a lot you learn when you shape someone's look. 0:07:05.520 --> 0:07:08.640 I mean, how we present is a mask. No one 0:07:08.720 --> 0:07:12.520 is exactly what they look like. How painfully boring. So 0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:15.840 while they're in my chair letting me chop away at 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:18.720 little pieces of them, you get to drop the mask 0:07:19.000 --> 0:07:22.840 and I listen. Like a therapist, I heals me or 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:27.360 no therapist. They want to fix you. I prefer to 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:33.880 enable better dips twenty years at the same overpriced salunge 0:07:33.920 --> 0:07:39.080 you hear every entitled complaint. Convertible in a shop AND's 0:07:39.160 --> 0:07:42.120 in the lakehouse, and now myn as sources out of 0:07:42.160 --> 0:07:47.800 town and my husband is canoodling with the maid. Oh, 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:51.480 I always hope for something with more substance. Maybe I 0:07:51.560 --> 0:07:56.880 hope too hard. One day I had this woman come 0:07:56.960 --> 0:08:01.560 in sunset of her life, glory, silver hair down to 0:08:01.680 --> 0:08:06.720 her chest. I loved it. I wanted it, oh, to 0:08:06.840 --> 0:08:10.400 age like that, But she said it made her look witchy. 0:08:11.120 --> 0:08:13.920 Now who could have put that idea in her head? 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:19.480 Turns out kids were shattering her windows with rocks. 0:08:20.000 --> 0:08:20.920 They riding on. 0:08:21.000 --> 0:08:27.120 Their bikes, dark of night and no one awake. Then crash, 0:08:27.560 --> 0:08:31.160 kill the witch, they yelled, and then they were gone 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:37.280 just as fast because acido, poor woman. I could hear 0:08:37.360 --> 0:08:40.920 it in her voice. No not chop it off, chop 0:08:40.960 --> 0:08:41.560 it all off. 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:42.880 I don't want it anymore. 0:08:44.040 --> 0:08:48.960 How it heard her to lie about, let's get you 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:49.559 in a chair. 0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:52.000 Did you cut it off? 0:08:52.559 --> 0:08:56.400 No, that would have been a crime. Instead, I listened 0:08:56.440 --> 0:08:59.120 to what she really wanted here sit? 0:09:00.559 --> 0:09:01.320 What did she say? 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:06.160 Nothing at first, but I pushed. I always had that gift, 0:09:06.200 --> 0:09:09.440 you know, getting people to open up. Usually it's a 0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:15.600 lot of cheesemay. By this time this was different. Something 0:09:15.640 --> 0:09:19.600 in her eyes and how her lips scrunched like she 0:09:19.840 --> 0:09:23.880 was chewing on her words. Benures and all lone and all. 0:09:24.760 --> 0:09:26.760 I want to take those rocks. 0:09:27.200 --> 0:09:30.839 I want to find her houses and I want to 0:09:31.000 --> 0:09:41.000 break their bones. Al rinkled little thing. And then she left, 0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:44.720 Lift your hair, got wrap fist around your neck. 0:09:45.600 --> 0:09:46.520 Do you think she did it? 0:09:46.920 --> 0:09:47.480 How could she? 0:09:48.200 --> 0:09:50.640 No? That would have been insane. At least that's what 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:52.760 I thought, And it's what got me through the night, 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:56.880 because as soon as I got home, there was a 0:09:56.920 --> 0:10:04.520 stamped in my brain. Horrible, horrible headache that whole week, 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:10.280 actually my last week on the outside of horrible. 0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:12.839 Oh careful, what the scalp? 0:10:14.120 --> 0:10:19.719 This is nothing? They after another woman came rolled out 0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:23.599 a magazine and pointed at a model wanted her seventies 0:10:23.679 --> 0:10:27.640 disconneon prom emitra. I'm divine at what I do, but 0:10:27.720 --> 0:10:30.840 my conscience wouldn't let me, so I tried to wear 0:10:30.960 --> 0:10:35.880 her somewhere safe. And you know what she said to me. 0:10:37.080 --> 0:10:43.720 If I wanted safe, I wouldn't put nails in my salad. 0:10:45.840 --> 0:10:49.400 What I can't believe she met that literally. 0:10:49.600 --> 0:10:57.960 I didn't either until she smiled, teas cracked and chipped 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:03.960 gums blead. She needed a dentist, not a perm. I 0:11:04.040 --> 0:11:09.559 don't know why she told me, But then the nasia 0:11:09.840 --> 0:11:13.560 hit and I spent the rest of my shift head 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:17.640 first in a toilet, feeling like there was a hole 0:11:17.760 --> 0:11:21.160 in my got. I think one of the other girls 0:11:21.240 --> 0:11:24.520 ended up giving her a PERM. I didn't care anymore. 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:28.880 I'd swear there was something in the air that week, 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:32.560 but all the crazy seemed to ask for me, And 0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:34.959 the next one was even worse. 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:37.520 Worse than eating nails. 0:11:38.000 --> 0:11:43.120 There's always worse, Melina, and it's never who you expect. 0:11:43.880 --> 0:11:46.400 Tilt your head for me, wouldn't you wait? 0:11:46.440 --> 0:11:47.400 How about are you taking off? 0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:50.679 Really had to get either? Don't you want to know. 0:11:50.640 --> 0:11:53.520 Who came next? Just a trim? Got it? 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:54.360 Mm? 0:11:57.280 --> 0:12:02.280 Now? This girl so thin and twiggy, it was like 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:06.520 she floated in on a breeze Carolina with her heart 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:10.000 on the eye. That's how she signed in in for 0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:14.200 a trim, just like you. She didn't make so much 0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:17.560 as a sweek. For the full hour, I could tell 0:12:17.600 --> 0:12:23.439 it was something heavy, something ugly, building up. But who 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:26.160 am I to pry? If a client wants silence. I 0:12:26.320 --> 0:12:30.640 gave them silence. I was nearly done styling her before 0:12:30.679 --> 0:12:35.199 she finally spoke, turned to me with her dull eyes 0:12:35.320 --> 0:12:39.040 and asked if I was married. No, no, no, I said, 0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:42.720 I love myself too much to share. She liked that. 0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:44.680 She was jealous. 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:49.240 What about you, I asked, and she went quiet again. 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:55.080 She jamed me in and whispered, I'm going to kill 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:59.280 my husband. I just haven't figured out. 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:03.680 How I was frozen. 0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:06.760 I mean, what do you say back? Don't do it? 0:13:07.280 --> 0:13:07.840 Good luck? 0:13:08.800 --> 0:13:11.760 I couldn't tell if she was kidding, Or maybe I could, 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:15.200 and I didn't want to admit it. It's not like 0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:18.280 she waited for me to react. She just got up, 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:20.760 dropped a tip on the counter and left. 0:13:21.640 --> 0:13:22.680 Or was it a good tip? 0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:27.160 Best of my life? But not even close to worth it? 0:13:28.280 --> 0:13:31.280 My fever that night was like a. 0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:40.360 Caulduring fluids, boiling skin, melting every nerve on fire, or 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:43.520 at least it felt that way, pinned me down to 0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:46.120 a bed for two days now. 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:49.480 Still, am I expected to tip? 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:53.199 I mean I would, but ridiculin this is currency enough 0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:58.320 for once I'm the one talking. Take a look, how 0:13:58.360 --> 0:13:58.679 do you. 0:13:58.640 --> 0:14:04.599 Feel that's not a trim? 0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:07.600 I know, and we're not done yet. 0:14:21.720 --> 0:14:23.960 See you, Rhina, Oh, see you and the girl? 0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:27.840 Will you kin me? Chris? Good luck, Si, you're gonna 0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:28.280 need it. 0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:31.040 How do they know my name? 0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:35.120 Ninya? Haven't you been listening? You learn all kinds of 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:38.160 things in a place like this. Haven't you worked a 0:14:38.160 --> 0:14:38.920 service job? 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:41.120 Yeah? Actually back before. 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:44.280 So you know? And I've had dozens. That's why I 0:14:44.320 --> 0:14:48.160 didn't question it at first. How you offer a service 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:51.720 but they treat you like a product. People think they 0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:54.600 have a right to your time, to your attention, and 0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:58.000 they don't care what you carry home. I'm just happy 0:14:58.000 --> 0:15:00.560 to unload. Even worse when you work for taps. 0:15:01.400 --> 0:15:02.720 Were there more clients like her? 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:10.040 Carolina Gegetts Mass No, she was the last, but that 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:14.400 wasn't the last time she came. When I finally forced 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:18.520 myself out of bed after that burning fear, I thought 0:15:18.840 --> 0:15:22.640 enough of this, No more helpful ear? But what does 0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:26.440 fate care for our plans? My first day back, I 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:31.440 found her waiting there, almost shivering with fear, cold. I 0:15:31.520 --> 0:15:35.400 don't know. Turns out she'd come every day asking for me. 0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:37.080 What an honor? 0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:39.520 What did she want? Now? 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:45.440 A manicure? Some pastelic color? And obviously an excuse because 0:15:45.520 --> 0:15:48.840 I'm no technician. Mister Iden is my boss. He knew that. 0:15:49.840 --> 0:15:54.560 But there comes Carolina waiting a stack of fifty, so 0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:58.680 of course he sells me out. Who cares what I want? 0:15:59.280 --> 0:16:03.520 Lorena pisso everybody helps. 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:06.160 Did you ask if she did it? 0:16:06.680 --> 0:16:11.120 No? Remember, I was done asking questions from now on, 0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:16.960 just smiling and nodding, smiling and nodding. Hole. Still, this 0:16:17.200 --> 0:16:17.920 is for texture. 0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:20.880 So she didn't talk to you. 0:16:21.480 --> 0:16:24.400 Now, where did you get that? All I said was 0:16:24.440 --> 0:16:28.359 that I didn't ask. So while I prepped the manicure, 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:35.440 she stared at me with those big dough eyes, unblinking, uncomfortable, 0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:39.040 like there was an itch she couldn't scratch. And I 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:45.360 could tell that heaviness, that ugliness from before it was 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:49.960 back and she was ready to gossip. So I laid 0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:53.080 out a towel and I asked for her hands, And 0:16:53.160 --> 0:16:57.560 when she spread out her fingers, all I could see 0:16:57.800 --> 0:17:04.120 was blood on her nails, crusty flooded cutocles, hand stand 0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:09.440 up to her wrists. Can you wash it? She asked, 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:13.479 as if a pink salt exfoliant was enough to scrub 0:17:13.520 --> 0:17:18.760 whatever monstrosity she committed I couldn't speak, I couldn't even 0:17:18.800 --> 0:17:21.680 look up, so instead she leaned. 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:28.280 In loudina, I so appreciated our last session. He was 0:17:28.440 --> 0:17:32.679 such a weight off my shoulders. You're so easy to 0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:33.240 talk to. 0:17:34.280 --> 0:17:38.840 You know that. I didn't want to be I didn't 0:17:38.880 --> 0:17:42.400 want to listen to another word. She wouldn't stop. 0:17:43.720 --> 0:17:49.600 I did it, I really did. I waited until Rob 0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:54.800 was asleep. Then I grabbed my knitting box, took out 0:17:54.880 --> 0:17:59.600 my seam ripper, and I unsold him. 0:18:00.480 --> 0:18:04.200 I looked around, but no one else in the whole 0:18:04.280 --> 0:18:09.040 room had even flinched. Was I going insane? Or was 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:14.919 everyone around me losing their minds? I ran out bio 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:19.479 coming up in my throat, and the last thing I 0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:24.600 saw was Carolina's face. She looked relieved, like that weight 0:18:24.920 --> 0:18:32.320 was really gone. I quit that very day. Let's get 0:18:32.400 --> 0:18:33.200 you dried up. 0:18:37.960 --> 0:18:38.600 There'd you go? 0:18:39.119 --> 0:18:41.960 Shaped up, real nice with some value? 0:18:42.320 --> 0:18:43.320 Were you sick again? 0:18:43.920 --> 0:18:48.159 Clado ruined my upholstery and pushed the absolute limit on 0:18:48.240 --> 0:18:50.960 how much I'd be broken A person can take. But 0:18:51.119 --> 0:18:54.640 I had to find out if this was awesome twisted job, 0:18:55.080 --> 0:18:57.960 So I did what any irrational person would do. They 0:18:58.080 --> 0:19:04.399 followed her home. I watched her enter a big gated massion, 0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:07.440 you know the fancy sword where the bushes are all 0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:12.399 cut into shapes. And I waited, quiet and in pain 0:19:12.840 --> 0:19:16.359 to catch any glimpse of her husband still alive. It 0:19:16.480 --> 0:19:19.800 was well after dark before I saw her come out again, 0:19:20.480 --> 0:19:24.360 wheeling out the trash. The curiosity ate me a lot. 0:19:24.480 --> 0:19:27.639 I had to know what was in those cans. Now 0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:32.280 I wish with every bone in my body that I 0:19:32.440 --> 0:19:39.920 never looked inside. I jumped in my car and floored 0:19:41.280 --> 0:19:43.800 La Ville and seat that eighty miles an hour, as 0:19:43.920 --> 0:19:47.320 fast as my little clanker could go. That's when I 0:19:47.440 --> 0:19:50.960 saw the cruiser parked at the burger joint, cop leaning 0:19:51.000 --> 0:19:55.120 on his hood, and I told him everything about Carolina, 0:19:55.440 --> 0:19:59.719 her confession, the gorriness in her trash. I knew I sounded, 0:20:00.520 --> 0:20:03.800 but I pleaded for him to believe me. And you 0:20:03.840 --> 0:20:08.119 know what he did. He said he believed me, but 0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:14.120 that he just didn't care. That punchy mustache man acne 0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:19.919 on his necks, wet on his collar. He said he'd 0:20:20.000 --> 0:20:24.480 seen worse, hell, that he'd done worse chewing on that gristy, 0:20:24.920 --> 0:20:27.920 tripping burger, he told me, bragging. 0:20:29.240 --> 0:20:33.720 Sometimes when there's a body, and I'm supposed to call 0:20:33.800 --> 0:20:37.960 it in. I don't, because for a couple of hours 0:20:38.040 --> 0:20:41.960 after death, there's still warming enough to have fun. 0:20:43.320 --> 0:20:48.359 He just kept going, unloading repulsive details after details. Even 0:20:48.400 --> 0:20:51.720 after I shut myself in my car and blared the horn, 0:20:52.280 --> 0:20:55.280 he was at my window and I could still read 0:20:55.400 --> 0:21:00.600 his lips. Why wouldn't he just leave me alone? 0:21:00.800 --> 0:21:01.520 What did you do? 0:21:02.480 --> 0:21:05.960 Nothing? I regret. I just wish they hadn't caught me, 0:21:06.400 --> 0:21:10.119 because that holding seally threw me into. That was my 0:21:10.320 --> 0:21:16.280 own brand of hell, not like the rooms we've got here. Handcuffed, 0:21:16.440 --> 0:21:20.840 I couldn't even cover my ears while everyone else just 0:21:21.160 --> 0:21:25.439 spilled and spilled. There was something wrong with me. I 0:21:25.560 --> 0:21:29.240 knew that, but I couldn't stop it. So instead I 0:21:29.400 --> 0:21:33.720 screamed the back what I heard, because why should I 0:21:33.760 --> 0:21:36.520 suffer alone? 0:21:36.760 --> 0:21:37.720 How long were you there? 0:21:38.480 --> 0:21:44.439 Not long? Grass, sadios? I suppose eventually somebody listened to 0:21:44.480 --> 0:21:47.560 what I had to say, because two doctors showed up 0:21:47.760 --> 0:21:48.560 from the Pendleton. 0:21:49.080 --> 0:21:51.720 What gave it? The way they dragged you here too? 0:21:52.440 --> 0:21:55.960 Dragged me? No, they offered the help, said they could 0:21:56.000 --> 0:21:59.320 make the secret stop, and for that I would have 0:21:59.400 --> 0:22:03.359 claimed in their trunk. You look like you don't agree. 0:22:03.760 --> 0:22:06.440 Why would you choose to come here? We can't leave? 0:22:07.200 --> 0:22:10.879 What makes you think I want to free meals, free 0:22:11.000 --> 0:22:14.160 roaming and never having to suck up to anyone else 0:22:14.200 --> 0:22:19.439 for tips, Nina, But it's not Tahiti. 0:22:20.000 --> 0:22:22.119 But it'll do. Did they help you? 0:22:22.200 --> 0:22:22.320 Then? 0:22:23.080 --> 0:22:28.840 You mean? Though? I still hear people's secrets sometimes, but 0:22:28.920 --> 0:22:31.600 at least the pain is gone. They've got me on 0:22:31.640 --> 0:22:35.440 this regimen. Pills and test and prodding and so on 0:22:36.040 --> 0:22:37.879 is meant to contain it altogether. 0:22:38.480 --> 0:22:42.000 But we'll see. So then you have heard things while 0:22:42.040 --> 0:22:42.960 you've been here. 0:22:43.320 --> 0:22:48.080 Of course, stranger and stranger every day. 0:22:49.080 --> 0:22:49.600 Strange? 0:22:49.680 --> 0:22:52.679 How oh no, no, no, I do what you're doing? 0:22:53.400 --> 0:22:56.560 Do you think knowing more is always better? But you're 0:22:56.600 --> 0:22:58.680 ignoring how it might hurt you? 0:22:59.359 --> 0:23:00.399 What do you mean hurt me? 0:23:01.240 --> 0:23:05.760 What I mean, Sayuri, is how will you handle the 0:23:05.880 --> 0:23:09.280 darkest secrets of this place when you don't even know 0:23:09.440 --> 0:23:10.000 your own? 0:23:11.000 --> 0:23:11.240 Wait? 0:23:12.000 --> 0:23:16.600 While I was here? Were you? Is she ready yet? 0:23:16.640 --> 0:23:23.320 Almost? There's no rushing beauty. Take a look in the mirror. 0:23:24.080 --> 0:23:25.760 Do you like who you see? 0:23:27.200 --> 0:23:28.240 That's not me? 0:23:29.160 --> 0:23:34.199 Clad o ca see? Like I said, when it comes 0:23:34.240 --> 0:23:40.720 to my work, I'm divine, don't worry your secrets safe 0:23:40.720 --> 0:23:41.080 with me? 0:23:41.720 --> 0:23:42.600 What do you mean. 0:23:44.000 --> 0:23:48.399 Now? Are you done? Yes? I'm done? But out you 0:23:48.480 --> 0:23:53.399 go now, beauty queen, and don't forget to brush your hair? 0:23:56.359 --> 0:23:56.959 What's up? 0:23:57.800 --> 0:23:58.960 Three far? 0:24:01.160 --> 0:24:02.399 Nighty night o? 0:24:02.640 --> 0:24:09.720 Damsa same shit every day? 0:24:11.440 --> 0:24:11.720 Wait? 0:24:12.880 --> 0:24:14.680 Did she leave a bobby bit in my hair? 0:24:16.800 --> 0:24:16.960 Hey? 0:24:17.040 --> 0:24:17.080 You? 0:24:18.400 --> 0:24:18.840 Oh? 0:24:19.280 --> 0:24:19.520 Hey? 0:24:20.720 --> 0:24:24.960 I thought we had a date. I know, I'm sorry. 0:24:25.600 --> 0:24:29.879 I got caught out for looking up haggard was the implication, 0:24:30.920 --> 0:24:32.920 and they dragged me into what account for the beauty 0:24:33.000 --> 0:24:37.600 salt around here? Lady took her sweet time too. I'm sorry. 0:24:37.720 --> 0:24:43.040 I tried, but I couldn't get out. It looks nice, yeah, yeah, 0:24:43.080 --> 0:24:48.280 real nice. I don't quite feel like myself. What is 0:24:48.359 --> 0:24:52.800 that like to feel like you? I don't really know anymore. 0:24:53.920 --> 0:24:57.320 I guess I've never liked to be fussed over, and 0:24:57.400 --> 0:25:01.680 now even that has been taken away. The chaplain said 0:25:01.680 --> 0:25:04.640 something today that I can't stop thinking about. He said 0:25:04.680 --> 0:25:08.520 that losing control over your life forces you to re 0:25:08.640 --> 0:25:13.240 evaluate your identity. Then have you learned a lot about 0:25:13.320 --> 0:25:19.199 yourself since you've been here? To be honest, I have 0:25:19.440 --> 0:25:22.400 learned that I need other people more than I ever 0:25:22.440 --> 0:25:23.520