Speaker 1: Hello, So Hi, what is your name?
Speaker 2: My name's NICKI go by Nikki the Star.
Speaker 1: Uh Niki? What's going on? How can I how can
Speaker 1: I get you today?
Speaker 3: I'm so excited.
Speaker 2: I'm ecstatic to be gecked.
Speaker 1: Well, it says here you wanted to talk about being
Speaker 1: homeless by choice for the past two years.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's kind of been like a house hopping situation,
Speaker 2: to be.
Speaker 1: Honest, Okay, what's the deal.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's like more peaceful and I kind of get to
Speaker 2: like be wherever I want. Like I live in the
Speaker 2: middle of nowhere in Ohio and I've gotten to like
Speaker 2: go everywhere in Ohio in a sense.
Speaker 1: So when you say that you are okay, so you've
Speaker 1: been homeless by a choice. So you say that you've
Speaker 1: been the house hopping for the past ten Yeah, what
Speaker 1: does that mean?
Speaker 4: So?
Speaker 2: I just went through my third toxic roommate.
Speaker 3: This one was the worst of it.
Speaker 2: I went over to his house to pick up my
Speaker 2: staff ultimately, and he kicked the side mirror off of
Speaker 2: my friend's car and like throwing the blatta gun and everything.
Speaker 1: It was before we get that what. So, So you're like,
Speaker 1: what is house hopping mean? Like what do you do?
Speaker 1: Whose houses are you hopping?
Speaker 2: It's kind of just I'm a stripper and a porn star. Okay,
Speaker 2: like this that's my full time profession. But it's kind
Speaker 2: of just like it's really toxic men that I shouldn't
Speaker 2: move in with, and it's it's not great. I can't
Speaker 2: get out of the cycle at this point.
Speaker 1: So okay, so the homeless. So you're homeless by choice,
Speaker 1: hopping around the houses of different guys and you're living
Speaker 1: there for a little bit of time, and you've been
Speaker 1: doing this for two years all over Ohio.
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I'm no, I don't know what Chat's saying
Speaker 2: because I'm not.
Speaker 1: I don't don't, I don't. I don't want to talk
Speaker 1: about the chat. We're not. I'm not this is We're
Speaker 1: just don't don't think about the chat, don't think about
Speaker 1: just I'm just curious, okay, we don't think about any
Speaker 1: that stuff. I'm just I'm just asking, you know, So,
Speaker 1: is that so that's what you're doing?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, how is that gone?
Speaker 2: Well, I'm homeless as of yesterday, But ultimately, like my
Speaker 2: biggest thing is I've had the money at multiple points,
Speaker 2: like I'm homeless, carless. I've never bought an apartment or
Speaker 2: anything like, and I've had the money to do so,
Speaker 2: but for some reason, it feels more comforting to do
Speaker 2: it how I'm doing it, So I call myself like
Speaker 2: nomadic by choice.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you've so you've made money stripping and doing porn,
Speaker 1: and you've made enough money that if you really want it,
Speaker 1: so you could rent an apartment.
Speaker 2: But yeah, like I've had all the I've had all
Speaker 2: the things to put my life back together, and I
Speaker 2: really just have.
Speaker 1: It, Okay, And so instead you're how are you meeting
Speaker 1: these guys that you're you're living at their houses?
Speaker 2: I don't actually know. It's a really bad habit of
Speaker 2: kind of moving in with strangers. I'm just like, I'm
Speaker 2: careless in a destructive sense.
Speaker 1: How do you meet these strangers that you move in with?
Speaker 2: I'm not sure. I have like memory issues from a
Speaker 2: little brand image, and I can't remember the stories of
Speaker 2: how I meant most of them. But I do end
Speaker 2: up moving in like shortly after meeting these people.
Speaker 1: How many different people's houses if you stayed.
Speaker 2: At over the passage, I think over four or five.
Speaker 2: It only lasts a couple of months and then I
Speaker 2: kind of like gotta fund one.
Speaker 1: And are you, like, do you have stuff? Like what
Speaker 1: do you what do you do with your stuff?
Speaker 2: I've lived in toads, right, I own three totes worth.
Speaker 1: Of planes and I kind of just live like that,
Speaker 1: all right, And what uh in these past like five
Speaker 1: dudes houses that you've lived in, what has the experience
Speaker 1: been like?
Speaker 2: Well, most of them ended up really badly and me
Speaker 2: getting kicked out in like a really traumatic manner.
Speaker 1: Okay, So if you have the money, why do you
Speaker 1: not get your own place?
Speaker 2: Well, currently I'm on like probation and stuff, but prior
Speaker 2: to this, I don't I'm I don't know. I have
Speaker 2: like a weird outlook on life. I've been through like
Speaker 2: a lot of trauma and a lot of like changing experiences.
Speaker 2: I got really heavily into like a lot of psychedelics
Speaker 2: for a while too, So I feel like introspective about
Speaker 2: the world. But like, I have a condition where I
Speaker 2: have seizures if I get too stressed out. So in
Speaker 2: order to like keep my seizures to a minimum, I
Speaker 2: have to live completely stressed free. So I don't like
Speaker 2: everything about owning a house or in a parka.
Speaker 1: I'm going to stop you. I need to stop you
Speaker 1: right there. Oh no, I'm sorry. Would you say your
Speaker 1: name was again?
Speaker 2: Nikki the Star?
Speaker 1: You're telling me by choice, you believe that you being
Speaker 1: homeless and staying at the houses of strangers that you
Speaker 1: just met is less stressful than just having your own apartments. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I how did you come How did you come to
Speaker 1: that concision?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's also just like I started off doing this when
Speaker 2: I was in like a really bad position, Okay, and like,
Speaker 2: ultimately mean it's it's easier and less stressful for me
Speaker 2: not to change my situation.
Speaker 1: Nikki, do you do you want better for your life?
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't know that better is like a good word, is.
Speaker 1: A good word. I think better is a good word
Speaker 1: in this situation.
Speaker 2: I'm going to be one hundred percent honest. Even in
Speaker 2: my situation, my current situation, it's not optimal. I'm sure
Speaker 2: nobody dreams of this life. I feel the best I've
Speaker 2: ever felt in my life. I feel I feel honestly fantastic.
Speaker 5: About my life.
Speaker 2: Okay, part I mean it's not all optimal, but I
Speaker 2: mean I've been to the bottom of the barrel because
Speaker 2: I feel like every I get to enjoy everything else
Speaker 2: a lot more. The little things in life mean a
Speaker 2: whole lot more.
Speaker 1: So tell me more why you feel like you know
Speaker 1: these these past two years. Why do you feel why
Speaker 1: do you feel like your life is the best it's
Speaker 1: ever been.
Speaker 2: I had like a whole traumatic assault case when I
Speaker 2: was really young. I was like fourteen fifteen, and my
Speaker 2: whole childhood I was just like sheltered this like I
Speaker 2: turned eighteen. I got kicked out before I turned eighteen,
Speaker 2: and this is when all of this has started.
Speaker 3: But like I chose to.
Speaker 2: Spend my adult life so far not worrying about being
Speaker 2: an adult as much as like, okay, enjoy, like I
Speaker 2: have a good quality in life, which I don't feel
Speaker 2: like a lot of people can say. And that's what
Speaker 2: I've been working on. Okay, my mental health and my
Speaker 2: physical health are really bad off.
Speaker 3: So you're right, Yeah, No, I'm not crying. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: No I'm going to you're not. That's what a great sentence. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not crying. I'm just smoking a joint. Okay, sure,
Speaker 1: all right, you know what, But all right, there's so
Speaker 1: many things going on here that are interesting.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 2: You know what, when I think, actually I watched I
Speaker 2: watched all of the adults in my childhood. I'm happy
Speaker 2: with their life because they never spent time trying to
Speaker 2: find quality in life and they just spent time living life.
Speaker 1: I I I really, Nikki, I really do feel like
Speaker 1: you are reaching positive conclusions and then making wrong decisions
Speaker 1: based off of those positive Because here's the thing. I'm
Speaker 1: really I'm happy to hear that you are. It sounds
Speaker 1: to me like you're just like, oh, things were so
Speaker 1: bad and now they're not as bad, and I'm really
Speaker 1: grateful for that. And I think that's sick. But I
Speaker 1: still don't understand why. By if you're telling me the truth,
Speaker 1: and this really is by choice, that by choice, you
Speaker 1: are opting to meet strange guys in ways that you
Speaker 1: don't even remember and sleep at their houses instead of
Speaker 1: just getting an apartment with the.
Speaker 2: Money, and it sounds really bad for everybody. Well, I'm
Speaker 2: not saying that I had money at the time that
Speaker 2: I moved into their house. I'm more so saying I'm talking.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about today, I'm talking about I'm talking about
Speaker 1: right now.
Speaker 2: Well, right now, I just got kicked out of the
Speaker 2: last one. I don't currently have money for all that
Speaker 2: because life's been a shit show this year. But like
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, everybody kind of looks at my life
Speaker 2: from a distance and doesn't really understand it.
Speaker 1: What do you think people don't understand about your life?
Speaker 2: Like I I nobody, nobody would do the things I
Speaker 2: do but me and my breast friend, and we call
Speaker 2: ourselves goblins and we just kind of like I've been
Speaker 2: living the past two years is just like a street goblin.
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you think people don't understand about being
Speaker 1: a street goblin?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I do goblin shit twenty four seven.
Speaker 2: It's it's permanent goblin time over here. Just my whole
Speaker 2: day is dedicated to whatever the fuck flies to me,
Speaker 2: and like it's it's always goblin shit.
Speaker 1: So look, I think that you can kind of do
Speaker 1: whatever you want as long as you're happy and as
Speaker 1: long as you're safe. Do you feel like you're safe?
Speaker 4: I do?
Speaker 1: Can I ask you this too? Like you're like, what's
Speaker 1: your what's your deal with your family?
Speaker 2: My family is not great and I have I don't know.
Speaker 2: They just didn't like how it turned out, which I
Speaker 2: get it. I mean, I'm a stripper in porn starr
Speaker 2: and I do like let people know this proudly. Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm proud of my career choices and my family doesn't
Speaker 2: vibe with strippers.
Speaker 1: Okay, and you said you have a you have a
Speaker 1: goblin friend. What's how do you How do you know her?
Speaker 2: My goblin friends? I actually met at the strip club
Speaker 2: the first time we ever met. She worked at a
Speaker 2: sixth store at the time, and she had it they'll
Speaker 2: give you freezies when you work there if they're like
Speaker 2: getting rid of stuff, and they gave her butthole loop
Speaker 2: and she does not do any so, so we befriended
Speaker 2: each other over butthole loop.
Speaker 1: Okay. Do you do you have any concerns at all
Speaker 1: about the way that you live or about or or okay,
Speaker 1: well how about this? How about this with this? If
Speaker 1: not any concerns about your present, do you have any
Speaker 1: concerns for the future.
Speaker 2: I do have concerns for the future, definitely.
Speaker 1: Okay, what are your concerns for the future.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't spend too much time worrying
Speaker 2: about like what's going to happen, because I do have
Speaker 2: some significant brain image, Like I got to focus on
Speaker 2: processing what's going on now in this current moment. Like
Speaker 2: I don't really do like plans or schedules or anything
Speaker 2: like that. I don't worry horrifically about the future, but
Speaker 2: I do, like I have been wondering lately if there's
Speaker 2: something else that's going to be better one day?
Speaker 1: Is there is there something else in.
Speaker 2: Your getting a house like I have been in the
Speaker 2: longing for Like I have decorations, but they've stayed in
Speaker 2: a box for two years now, so I've never been
Speaker 2: somewhere long enough to decorate. H Like that that sense
Speaker 2: and like similar.
Speaker 3: To confidently.
Speaker 2: Call a home definitely like gets to me.
Speaker 1: Okay, hm hmm. Have you ever seen, like have you
Speaker 1: seen a real therapist or a doctor to talk about
Speaker 1: any of these things?
Speaker 2: So, I mean I have in the past, and it's
Speaker 2: all been very traumatizing, But I almost like to think myself,
Speaker 2: I'm a little delvisional, and I'll put it out there now,
Speaker 2: but I do find myself like very therapizing.
Speaker 3: I've got a lot going.
Speaker 2: On in my brain and like a lot of it's
Speaker 2: some really serious mental stuff, but I feel like I
Speaker 2: understand my own brain better than I could explain it
Speaker 2: to somebody else.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's ensure. That's an interesting thought. But I'm not
Speaker 1: telling you. I'm not even saying, I guess explaining you.
Speaker 1: Why was therapy? Was it?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 1: Was it helpful for you?
Speaker 2: I don't feel like so. I'm unmedicated and parawell i'd
Speaker 2: like to call it. I don't go to therapy and
Speaker 2: it never helped me, and medications never helped me either. Okay,
Speaker 2: I just I just smoke some weed and I get
Speaker 2: on with my day.
Speaker 1: All right, Do you feel like you'll be Okay?
Speaker 2: Okay, it's very retrospective. I didn't get to tell you
Speaker 2: why I feel a little bit safer because I also
Speaker 2: do have background in like dominatrix work.
Speaker 1: Okay, h what the funk was I gonna say?
Speaker 2: Just now, there's a lot going on.
Speaker 1: I know there is sure Uh all right, I mean,
Speaker 1: I mean I'm debating, uh how much concern? Uh? This
Speaker 1: is raising? I guess because I don't I don't know, man,
Speaker 1: I don't know. But where do you? Well, I know
Speaker 1: it's gonna ask where are you calling me from? Right now?
Speaker 2: I am currently at It's it's the guy I'm sleeping with.
Speaker 2: Sisters and her girlfriend's birthday today, so we're having a
Speaker 2: seafood boil and I'm allergic to seafood.
Speaker 1: So okay, so you started hooking up with a guy
Speaker 1: and it's his sister's birthday, so he brought you to
Speaker 1: this seafood boil.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, there's I'm like, they're little pet. I'm
Speaker 2: their little stripper pet. They just bring me everywhere. I
Speaker 2: like pretty and stand in the background.
Speaker 1: Okay, well shit, I mean is there anything else that
Speaker 1: you wanted to talk about in this regard? I just
Speaker 1: I just like, look, I think it's good that you
Speaker 1: enjoy your life. That you're enjoying going goblin mode. I
Speaker 1: just would think that, like, like if you like, even
Speaker 1: like if you're making money and you have money, I
Speaker 1: would think if I were you, about how you can
Speaker 1: use the money that you're making and the money that
Speaker 1: you're saving and the money that you know, whatever you're
Speaker 1: you know, how you can invest it, how you can
Speaker 1: use it to gain a sense of stability so that
Speaker 1: you know your God you can still goblin mode. I
Speaker 1: actually like you can still like because to me, look,
Speaker 1: goblin mode. Okay, I have thoughts. It took me a
Speaker 1: little bit to come up with my thoughts. I've decided,
Speaker 1: what do you think about this goblin mode that you
Speaker 1: are describing? This freedom? This? I do what I want.
Speaker 1: I don't care what other people think about me. I've
Speaker 1: spent my whole life fucking whatever, bowing down to parents
Speaker 1: or bowing down to whatever the fuck, And I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do what i want. I'm gonna live how I want.
Speaker 1: My parents just did whatever they were told forever, and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do what i want. I'm gonna go goblin mode.
Speaker 1: I think that's cool for real, I do, okay, But
Speaker 1: I think you can have that mindset and live your
Speaker 1: life with that mindset without being homeless. I think, and
Speaker 1: I said this during this call. I've said this, You've
Speaker 1: come to positive conclusions. It's just the actions that I
Speaker 1: feel like some of the actions that you have taken
Speaker 1: as a result of the positive conclusions you've comfort to
Speaker 1: are are are wrong turns, you know.
Speaker 2: Like I'm not saying I disagree at all, Okay, but
Speaker 2: it's a very delusional life that I'm living, Okay, all right,
Speaker 2: I just I mean, I'm happy. My quality of life
Speaker 2: is fantastic.
Speaker 1: And that's great, and that's great.
Speaker 2: Get past eighteen years and that.
Speaker 1: Not hav great and that's great. And I don't know
Speaker 1: if you believe me, but I think you can maintain
Speaker 1: that level of happiness, if not even increase it by
Speaker 1: choosing not to be homeless and live with strangers that
Speaker 1: you don't remember meeting. That's that's that's my word. You
Speaker 1: can think about it, you can take it, or you
Speaker 1: can leave it. But that's that's I guess what I
Speaker 1: have to say.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's it's valid. I feel like I'm also
Speaker 2: twenty and I'm not really like vibing with the idea
Speaker 2: of being an adult at the moment. So the least
Speaker 2: amount of adult shit I could possibly do so that
Speaker 2: I don't wake up every day and cry is alright
Speaker 2: with me. Like I still go to work and I
Speaker 2: still like pay my bills. There's a couple that are necessary.
Speaker 1: But uh, well, Nikki, is there anything else you want
Speaker 1: to say to the people of the computer before we go? No?
Speaker 2: I just love walking your show. I'm excited to see
Speaker 2: this episode. I've been waiting forever. I was sitting there
Speaker 2: and they were I was admiring them tearing apart crawfishells
Speaker 2: and then I saw that you'd called, so I ran outside.
Speaker 1: Well, take care of NICKI good luck, good luck, good luck?
Speaker 1: Yea goblin mode. I don't know. I don't have anything
Speaker 1: else to say that I didn't already say while I
Speaker 1: was talking to her.
Speaker 4: But.
Speaker 1: A shit, I don't know, man. It's like, it's like
Speaker 1: if you're a homie told you that he was good.
Speaker 1: It's like if like, what's the story, what's that that?
Speaker 1: Into the wild? You guys know, into the wild? It's
Speaker 1: with that guy. Christopher McCandless was his name. I think
Speaker 1: that's his name. It might not, that might be the
Speaker 1: name of something that could. But there's this guy who
Speaker 1: went into the woods by choice to survive off of
Speaker 1: berries and nothing else, and in a weird way, in
Speaker 1: a weird way, he went. He went faral mode when
Speaker 1: christopherm you can look this up. Look up. I don't know, people,
Speaker 1: look up Into the Wild, Christopher McAndless, you wrote a
Speaker 1: whole book. There's a movie about it. He'd by choice,
Speaker 1: was homeless and went into the woods. I don't think
Speaker 1: he told anyone. I don't know. I really don't remember.
Speaker 1: But if he did, right, like if he did, if
Speaker 1: your friend was like Hey, I'm gonna go live in
Speaker 1: the woods because nobody can tell me what to do,
Speaker 1: and I'm going goblin mode. You you'd like, you'd be concerned, right,
Speaker 1: he'd be concerned. But a lot of Look, a lot
Speaker 1: of people think Christopher McCandless was awesome, and they egged
Speaker 1: him on, and they were like, you know, this guy
Speaker 1: is a hero. He's sick, he defied convention, and he's
Speaker 1: he's inspired me to also exit the capitalist healthscape that
Speaker 1: I live in and go live in the woods. Other
Speaker 1: people are like, hey, you know, he did do that,
Speaker 1: and I don't know exactly how long, but pretty soon
Speaker 1: after he did that, he died. He super died. He
Speaker 1: died a lot. He very much died after doing that,
Speaker 1: and he I don't think he lasted that long. And
Speaker 1: a lot of people are like, hey, you know, he died,
Speaker 1: so it probably wasn't the greatest idea for him to
Speaker 1: go goblin mode, which camp was, right. I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's a matter of personal philosophy. I suppose I will
Speaker 1: not be going goblin mode anytime soon. I will be
Speaker 1: sitting and eating chips.
Speaker 4: Hello, Hello, Hi Gach.
Speaker 1: What is your name?
Speaker 4: Millie?
Speaker 1: Millie? What's going on has life?
Speaker 4: Well, I guess I just kind of wanted to talk
Speaker 4: about my dad.
Speaker 1: H go ahead, So.
Speaker 4: Whenever me or my brother don't talk to him for
Speaker 4: a few days or like we're mad at him, he
Speaker 4: will go on Facebook and say that he passed away.
Speaker 1: How does he say that he passed away? Does?
Speaker 6: Who?
Speaker 1: Does he pose as making the post?
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what we don't really know.
Speaker 1: So he just so like, what, what's what's your dad's name?
Speaker 1: Or give me a fake name. What's like, what's his.
Speaker 4: Jacob?
Speaker 1: Okay, So Jacob goes, Jacob Frankfort, that's your fake last name.
Speaker 1: Jacob Frankfort has died. Post by Jacob Frankfort.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So what exactly happened was he changed his Facebook banner.
Speaker 4: It was just like a blurry photo of nothing, and
Speaker 4: then someone replied to it, like one of his friends,
Speaker 4: and said are you okay? And then my dad replied
Speaker 4: back at himself saying he passed period. And then and
Speaker 4: then the friend replied who passed and then he replied
Speaker 4: Jacob did. And like, I don't have Facebook, so I
Speaker 4: didn't see this. So my other siblings and like my friends,
Speaker 4: they contacted me, like have you heard from your dad,
Speaker 4: Like what's going on? I'm like, oh God, what do
Speaker 4: you do? Like, Oh, he's saying that he passed on Facebook?
Speaker 4: And I'm like.
Speaker 1: How many times did he fake his own death.
Speaker 4: On Facebook? Only the once? But he's doing it again.
Speaker 4: So that was about a year ago, and he never
Speaker 4: really explained what that was about. And about a few
Speaker 4: days ago, him and my brother have like issues that
Speaker 4: they need to work on or whatever. My brother was
Speaker 4: trying to have that conversation with him, and instead of
Speaker 4: having that conversation, my dad like calls me and starts
Speaker 4: going off on me, saying that we don't care that
Speaker 4: he's dying. I'm like, what are you talking about? You're dying?
Speaker 4: And I don't try to get him to tell me,
Speaker 4: like what's going on?
Speaker 6: Like, so.
Speaker 1: A year ago, when he posts that he's dying, how
Speaker 1: does he get like like how does he get caught
Speaker 1: that he's not dead?
Speaker 5: Do you?
Speaker 1: How do you when you when you find out that he's.
Speaker 4: Not dead, He'll just keep posting again like nothing happens.
Speaker 4: That's the crazy part. Like I don't see how he
Speaker 4: doesn't see how that's insane or like how it's going
Speaker 4: to affect us, you know, like we have our own
Speaker 4: ship going on, and on top of this, we have
Speaker 4: a dad that's one day he's perfectly fine and then
Speaker 4: the next screaming at me on the phone saying, you
Speaker 4: don't care that I'm dying. And I'm like, I don't know, Like,
Speaker 4: are we gonna see on Facebook again?
Speaker 1: He so, what? What's what? It seems like you, in
Speaker 1: general have a tumultuous relationship with your dad.
Speaker 4: Sorry what did you say?
Speaker 1: It seems in general that you have a tumultuous relationship
Speaker 1: with your dad.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's I don't like I love him a lot,
Speaker 4: but he stresses me out beyond belief. Like what's the
Speaker 4: last night he calls me at five in the morning
Speaker 4: and I'm asleep and he leaves me a voice smell saying,
Speaker 4: well by tried. I'm like, what do you mean you try?
Speaker 4: You called at five in the morning?
Speaker 1: So he's dying again?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is he really dying?
Speaker 4: Why?
Speaker 1: He say? Why does he say he's dying again?
Speaker 4: He just threatens that. I guess. Like I talked to
Speaker 4: him very often. I keep up with him. I ask
Speaker 4: him about his health and he always says everything's fine,
Speaker 4: until like, either I don't talk to him for a
Speaker 4: few days, or my brother goes off on him, then
Speaker 4: suddenly he's dying.
Speaker 1: Is does your dad? Is your dad married?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, what's going on with his wife?
Speaker 4: So they take care of his mom and she does
Speaker 4: like the day shifts and he does night shifts. So
Speaker 4: as far as he tells me, they don't really get
Speaker 4: to spend much time together. Wife either happily Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 4: they're happily married.
Speaker 1: So this is not This is not a guy who's
Speaker 1: just completely alone and is trying to get attention from
Speaker 1: his kids because because he's lonely, he's happily married. Yeah,
Speaker 1: how long has he How long has he been like
Speaker 1: doing shit like this?
Speaker 4: A long time? I mean the threatening of dying. I
Speaker 4: can't even remember. Honestly, he is, like he's such a
Speaker 4: smart man, but he's so dramatic and like says the
Speaker 4: craziest things, like just the other night, he was mad
Speaker 4: that I didn't reply to him within thirty minutes and
Speaker 4: then he texts me, you're selfish, you know what, Just
Speaker 4: don't bother. Karma seeks those who seek it, So this.
Speaker 1: Is probably what I assume a real therapist would tell
Speaker 1: you that your dad has no boundaries.
Speaker 4: Uh, huh?
Speaker 1: Have you attempted to set boundaries with your dad?
Speaker 4: When I do, he start screaming and saying that we
Speaker 4: don't care about him, and like I keep saying, he
Speaker 4: will go back to the I'm dying and you don't care?
Speaker 4: And I'm like, is he dying?
Speaker 6: I mean, as far as I know, no, how.
Speaker 1: Does your brother deal with all this ship? How does
Speaker 1: your brother deal with all this ship?
Speaker 4: He tells me that I should block him.
Speaker 1: I assume that means your brother has him blocked?
Speaker 4: He has? I mean, I'm the only one of his
Speaker 4: kids that he has, like an actual.
Speaker 1: Really with how many kids does he have?
Speaker 4: Four? And that also don't talk to him anymore.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're the last one that like wants to
Speaker 1: put up with him.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I'm curious, and I mean I don't This is
Speaker 1: not a leading question in any way, shape or form,
Speaker 1: but I'm curious. Why do you put up with him?
Speaker 4: That's a good question. That's what my brother asks. Because
Speaker 4: I love him, That's the simple answer. Like he drives
Speaker 4: me crazy and he says crazy hurtful ding sometimes, but.
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, You're right, Milly, Oh yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: how much longer. Do you think you can put up
Speaker 1: with them?
Speaker 4: I don't know. I mean, this has been happening for
Speaker 4: a long time, Like this isn't just the only crazy thing.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, he faked his own death twice. That's two
Speaker 1: crazy things. Have you ever spoken to a real therapist
Speaker 1: about this? No? Okay, you probably should, but I assume
Speaker 1: they would tell you. Uh uh, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't fucking know what a real therapist would say in
Speaker 1: this situation. But fucking.
Speaker 4: Everyone that I talked to about it, they say, don't
Speaker 4: deal with this, you don't deserve this. But if I
Speaker 4: I feel like, if I really stop talking to him,
Speaker 4: who knows what he would do? Like if he acts
Speaker 4: like this when he doesn't get a text back in
Speaker 4: thirty minutes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but okay, you know what, Look, I'm gonna actually like, uh,
Speaker 1: let loose on this one a little bit. How how
Speaker 1: old is your dad.
Speaker 4: Sixty two?
Speaker 1: Sixty two? Is he mentally competent?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, he's not. There's not like something divergent about him.
Speaker 4: No, I mean he drinks a lot.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm so your dad's sixty two, so in my opinion,
Speaker 1: And how old are you? That was in his thirties,
Speaker 1: he decided to have a kid. And with that decision,
Speaker 1: it's like a crazy decision to make. That was thirty,
Speaker 1: he decided to have a kid, and he kind of
Speaker 1: has to take on one of the responsibilities of doing that,
Speaker 1: which is to not consistently call your kid yelling at
Speaker 1: her and saying heartful things, you know, And it kind
Speaker 1: of sounds like he you know, I mean, he's he
Speaker 1: has he shown you any remorse at all?
Speaker 2: Yes, but.
Speaker 4: Like it's really passive aggressive, We're backhanded. Like I mean,
Speaker 4: for example, when when he went off on me the
Speaker 4: other day for no reason, started doing that I don't
Speaker 4: care about his health and stuff. I was like, what
Speaker 4: makes me selfish? Like what am I doing?
Speaker 1: Your dad is? Take your dad is? Is I'm playing?
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess it's my job to play armchair therapist.
Speaker 1: I guess that's what I fucking do. But to play
Speaker 1: armchair therapist your dad sounds like he's taking all of
Speaker 1: his problems and unleashing them upon to you and making
Speaker 1: them your problems, which is truly a horrible thing for
Speaker 1: a parent to do to their kid. I believe he.
Speaker 3: Had always done that too, and like, yeah, that's not.
Speaker 1: That's not it's a terrible fucking reason to have a kid.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's really it's really frustrating because like I have
Speaker 4: my own ship going on, I have my own life,
Speaker 4: Like I can't answer at five in the morning, you know,
Speaker 4: I don't know. Me and my brother thought, like after
Speaker 4: we found out that he was okay, obviously, like we
Speaker 4: thought it was pretty funny two right on your own
Speaker 4: Facebook as yourself that you passed.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, it's really really funny. It's very funny.
Speaker 1: It's very funny to do that. And then afterwards, you know,
Speaker 1: update your fucking candy crush scores.
Speaker 4: Uh yeah, twenty four hours later he's posting his candy.
Speaker 1: Crush that's funny. You know, I almost I actually, jen
Speaker 1: I feel I like, for real, I feel bad for
Speaker 1: your dad because I don't know why. I don't know
Speaker 1: why he he he uh like that that's kind of
Speaker 1: how I feel. Like, I feel bad for your dad
Speaker 1: because clearly he's in a lot of pain, but he doesn't.
Speaker 1: I feel bad for you because he's unleashing his pain
Speaker 1: upon to you, which is not a cool thing for,
Speaker 1: you know, a parent to do to their kid. And
Speaker 1: I don't think you I don't think you're required to
Speaker 1: put up with it.
Speaker 4: I feel Badrahim too, and I guess that's why I
Speaker 4: keep responding in right.
Speaker 1: But but you, I think you can feel bad for
Speaker 1: him and want him to be better without taking a
Speaker 1: loan out of the bank of your sanity. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I know, by the way, that's an extremely hard thing
Speaker 1: to do. I actually have no idea, you know, like
Speaker 1: this is like we're we're discussing a pretty like emotionally
Speaker 1: distressing and complex thing that's way easy, easier, easier said
Speaker 1: than easier said by a gecko than done. But you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, It's it's a really it's it's
Speaker 1: it's a tough situation. I feel I I I feel
Speaker 1: your stress.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he'll spam text me late at night, Like one
Speaker 4: second it's really sweet, like I love you so much,
Speaker 4: you mean the world to me, and then ten minutes
Speaker 4: later it's shame on you.
Speaker 1: Tell you tell your dad to get help. I mean
Speaker 1: that that's you know what, That's probably what I would
Speaker 1: do if I was you. Unfortunately, I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. Is like
Speaker 1: I would just like your your dad like like you
Speaker 1: can set up a kind of I guess, like an ultimatum,
Speaker 1: a thing where it's like, look, you can be a
Speaker 1: part of my life, but you gotta fucking get help, dude,
Speaker 1: Like you gotta go, you gotta there's something going on
Speaker 1: with you. Your brother did that.
Speaker 4: Exact thing, but yeah, a few days ago, and that's
Speaker 4: what unleashed this.
Speaker 1: I mean, if that's your brother, I mean, dude, if
Speaker 1: that's what your brother did, then the ball is in
Speaker 1: your dad's court.
Speaker 4: He just doesn't reply to him, and then he calls me,
Speaker 4: yelling at me that we don't care. It's just the
Speaker 4: same cycle, like so frustrating.
Speaker 1: I I think you should tell your dad he's gotta
Speaker 1: he's gotta get help. He's got to work on himself.
Speaker 1: If if you're gonna talk to him, because he can't
Speaker 1: just like because like you want. He's your dad, you
Speaker 1: clearly love him and you want him to not be insane,
Speaker 1: But he's gotta also want himself to not be insane
Speaker 1: and not just take it out on you.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I don't sorry, I don't see how he doesn't realize,
Speaker 4: like what he is doing is unfair and crazy.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I don't I don't know.
Speaker 4: And he's smart, like he is. He's smart. So that's
Speaker 4: another reason I don't understand how he could act like this.
Speaker 4: And we're nothing but completely rational too to him. And
Speaker 4: it's a good thing he deleted his Facebook, because.
Speaker 1: It's a good thing he deleted his Facebook. I think
Speaker 1: Facebook was too powerful a tool for him and frank Frankly,
Speaker 1: I mean frankly, too powerful a tool for us, several
Speaker 1: people of his age. I think I love you. You
Speaker 1: ever go on Reddit? You ever go to r slash
Speaker 1: insane people Facebook?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've seen some stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, there's there's thousands and thousands of your
Speaker 1: dad's out there also faking their own depth on a
Speaker 1: daily basis. So I so I hope you don't feel
Speaker 1: alone in that. H what's your name again, Millilli? Well
Speaker 1: listen Millie again. You know this is a tough situation,
Speaker 1: but I hope you do whatever is best for you.
Speaker 1: I know that's that's like an empty thing to say.
Speaker 1: I'm bad at ending conversations, but I feel like we
Speaker 1: got some good stuff out in the middle of this,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like if you judged it
Speaker 1: on the middle, not on the end when I said
Speaker 1: a platitude to you, I think it would have been
Speaker 1: a good I think it was a good. Do you
Speaker 1: think was Was this a helpful conversation to you in
Speaker 1: any way, shape orfore? Yeah, I think it was okay, cool.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you kind of just said what everyone in my life.
Speaker 1: I absolutely assume I'm not the first person to tell
Speaker 1: you all of these things. But listen, listen. Similar to
Speaker 1: how you can tell your dad that he needs to
Speaker 1: do something all he wants, at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: he's the one that's got to make the choice, and
Speaker 1: as are you the one that has to make yours.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 4: If your dad ever writes on his own Facebook that
Speaker 4: he passed away and you're not sure and it's probably not.
Speaker 1: True, I don't I don't know, I have no idea.
Speaker 1: Facebook's kind of crazy. Okay, bye, Milly, bye talking to you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what this is kind of so I kind
Speaker 1: of wanted to go look at crazy face Facebook stuff.
Speaker 1: There's still people on there. Do you know that you
Speaker 1: ever log into Facebook to see who's still on there?
Speaker 1: It's it's pretty uh like I remember being on Facebook
Speaker 1: in like twenty seventeen and seeing people facebook into the void.
Speaker 1: You know, you know those people who are facebooking into
Speaker 1: the void, like whoever, whoever, you whoever when you were
Speaker 1: on Facebook in twenty seventeen, was facebooking into the void
Speaker 1: and you were looking at them their statuses and going,
Speaker 1: how does this person keep making these Facebook statuses for
Speaker 1: no one? I guarantee, Like, if you have someone in
Speaker 1: your head, I guarantee if you log into your Facebook
Speaker 1: right now, they posted an hour ago and they're still
Speaker 1: doing it. And you know what. Actually, and by the way,
Speaker 1: by the way, I don't mean to say this as
Speaker 1: a as a dick thing, like, oh, that person's crazy.
Speaker 1: I don't. I actually don't think that person is crazy.
Speaker 1: I fully understand why people facebook into the void. It's
Speaker 1: like journaling. They're basically they're basically journaling. That's what they're doing.
Speaker 1: They're journaling, and they're like, it kind of feels good
Speaker 1: to take my journal and throw it into the void
Speaker 1: just so it's there. That's what That's what it is, man.
Speaker 1: That's why we that's why they're facebooking. We all just
Speaker 1: want to be seen. I think I think we all
Speaker 1: just want to be seen, felt, heard, understood, loved, and
Speaker 1: that's why we publicly and that's why Farmville works, because
Speaker 1: we just want to be seen. That's why people Facebook
Speaker 1: into the void, that's why that's why people fake their
Speaker 1: own deaths. That's why if you go on in sane
Speaker 1: people Facebook, it's just it's just a bunch of people
Speaker 1: who want to be loved, which is kind of as
Speaker 1: stupid to say, but it's I guess that's true. And
Speaker 1: sometimes love makes you say completely insane horrible things on Facebook,
Speaker 1: is what I'm saying.
Speaker 6: Okay, from Hi my it was Bob out of twenty two.
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, what's your name?
Speaker 6: My name is Bob.
Speaker 1: Well, Bob, what's going on? How can I get you today?
Speaker 6: Well? I actually have a question. I mean, it's just
Speaker 6: because I'm mostly a podcast listener, but I've noticed you
Speaker 6: don't really ever get anyone on the show that's like
Speaker 6: super trolley, Like there's never anyone who's called in and
Speaker 6: been like a boobs or whatever. Then hung up. I
Speaker 6: was kind of curious about why that was.
Speaker 1: Well, it's interesting that you say that that nobody has
Speaker 1: called in and gone ah, boobs whatever, because I too
Speaker 1: thought when I first started this, that there would be
Speaker 1: a lot more people calling in and saying ah boobs yeah,
Speaker 1: and I'll set the show. So the way, like I
Speaker 1: don't know how much I talk about this on the podcast,
Speaker 1: but this show first started as a thing that I
Speaker 1: would do on the Reddit Public Access Network back in
Speaker 1: like twenty twenty. I don't know, are you familiar with
Speaker 1: the Reddit Public Access Network?
Speaker 6: Yeah? I never really got like on it, but like
Speaker 6: I knew of it.
Speaker 1: It never took off. It was this weird thing where
Speaker 1: for like a year or two, maybe not even that long,
Speaker 1: about a year, Reddit was had live streams where you
Speaker 1: could go live and if your streams got popular, they'd
Speaker 1: go to the front page of Reddit. And so the
Speaker 1: way that this show first started is I was fucking
Speaker 1: around as therapy Gecko taking phone calls on Reddit. And
Speaker 1: when I was doing that, that was a lot that
Speaker 1: was like my streams would go to the front page.
Speaker 1: So I'd have like forty two thousand concurrent viewers watching
Speaker 1: the show, and like almost all of them had no
Speaker 1: idea who I was, or cared or anything like that.
Speaker 1: And so I was definitely getting fucked with a lot
Speaker 1: more back when I was doing that. Other people would
Speaker 1: call in and just like try to you know, be
Speaker 1: an asshole. But true. But even dude, even back then, truly,
Speaker 1: I was astounded at how little that would happen, even
Speaker 1: back then, Like surely maybe like once a month someone
Speaker 1: would call in just to you know, say something bad
Speaker 1: and hang up. But I thought it was gonna happen
Speaker 1: every single time I went live. To be honest, I
Speaker 1: thought I was gonna be my stream was just gonna
Speaker 1: get kind of vandalized. When people kept telling me that,
Speaker 1: They're like, I would never put up a phone number
Speaker 1: because someone's gonna say something and I'm gonna get banned
Speaker 1: from Twitch, And I'm like, I don't people, that doesn't
Speaker 1: really happen. And even when it would happen, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: make it a big fucking deal. I wouldn't be like,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't stop the stream and be like I do
Speaker 1: not condone. I would just I would just be like,
Speaker 1: that was stupid, Okay, let's move on, you know, because
Speaker 1: it's what they want you to do. They want you
Speaker 1: to get pissed off and make a whole big deal
Speaker 1: out of it because they want attentions. I mean, that's
Speaker 1: really it. But dude, for real. I am very pleasantly
Speaker 1: surprised that like ninety nine point nine nine percent of
Speaker 1: people that I have spoken to the thousands of fucking
Speaker 1: phone calls I've taken since do it on the Reddit
Speaker 1: streams and the Twitch streams and the podcast alsoff genuine
Speaker 1: people for real, like genuine cool They just want to talk.
Speaker 1: Or if they are being trolley or saying boobs or whatever,
Speaker 1: it's not out of any malice. Maybe it's just because
Speaker 1: they're nervous so they don't know what to say, or
Speaker 1: they were trying to be funny. Like nobody. I don't
Speaker 1: think anyone's really come on here with true, honest to
Speaker 1: god negative malice. And if they ever did, it was
Speaker 1: you know, three out of a thousands, which is kind
Speaker 1: of crazy to me. It's kind of crazy to me.
Speaker 1: It's funny. I've thought about this before. Of all the
Speaker 1: people that I meet doing this, whether it's on the
Speaker 1: phone or in person, again, like pleasant interactions, extremely pleasant
Speaker 1: interactions over the phone and in person when I do
Speaker 1: my live shows, Like, I really don't have any bad
Speaker 1: experiences meeting talking to any of these people on the
Speaker 1: phone or in person. It's mainly like on the comments
Speaker 1: section of things and in the chats, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, where people are just going insane, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean even I'll say that the twitch chat is cool.
Speaker 1: The twitch chat it does not. But still it's like
Speaker 1: it's so funny to me because I'll look at the
Speaker 1: Instagram comments of like a clip of some kind that
Speaker 1: I've posted, and you know, everyone is like people are
Speaker 1: getting into crazy fights and just acting like lunatics. And
Speaker 1: then I meet these same people in person and everyone's awesome.
Speaker 1: I don't, I know, it's funny, but and they're the
Speaker 1: same fucking people. You know, it's crazy.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's what I was curious about, because like that
Speaker 6: it sounds like I'm setting up for a bit, but
Speaker 6: I promise you I'm not like do it.
Speaker 1: I don't even wonder, No, I.
Speaker 6: Re seriously would have a bit. I was just curious
Speaker 6: because like I primarily listen to the podcast, and then
Speaker 6: I had that thought. So then I start watching more
Speaker 6: streams and I'm still like, the ratio here is insane
Speaker 6: because I haven't ever seen anyone call in and do
Speaker 6: anything stupid, Like I think most shows that are calling
Speaker 6: have those kinds of people, and it just seems like
Speaker 6: yours doesn't just nuts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I you know, I'm very also, I'm also
Speaker 1: very happy with like the size of my show. I'm
Speaker 1: not like, like if whatever ex QC or someone like
Speaker 1: that open to their line to phone calls, I'm sure
Speaker 1: that would happen a lot, but uh, I really I'm
Speaker 1: at a fantastic perfect size of audience where the people
Speaker 1: who listen are just like I mean, that's the dream,
Speaker 1: right is You're you're popular enough that the only people
Speaker 1: who like know about you are people who are like,
Speaker 1: you know, actually like give a fuck about what you're doing,
Speaker 1: and not like, you know, people who not not not
Speaker 1: being like someone someone crazy internet famous who people just
Speaker 1: kind of will well we'll want to fuck with just
Speaker 1: because it's funny. Yeah, Like I'm surprised. I'm I'm really
Speaker 1: surprised that a bunch of like fourteen year olds into
Speaker 1: discord chat have not been like, hey, let's go say
Speaker 1: a bunch of horrible racist things on the Therapy Geckos stream.
Speaker 1: You know, like that's that's happened. That's happened way way
Speaker 1: way less than I thought it would. Sorry, what did
Speaker 1: you say?
Speaker 6: That's why I'm like, I wonder if maybe I've just
Speaker 6: like missed it or because for whatever reason, like maybe
Speaker 6: it's that it is happening on the show and it's
Speaker 6: just cut out of the cast. But no, I guess not.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: I mean I cut a lot of phone calls off
Speaker 1: of the Twitch stream before I put it into the podcast,
Speaker 1: but nothing like with malicious intent. Part of me wonders
Speaker 1: if because I'm probably gonna put this conversation on the podcast,
Speaker 1: and part of me wonders if we're jinxing it a
Speaker 1: little bit, But I don't think so. I don't even think.
Speaker 1: I don't think that this is going to jinx it.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 6: I was hoping that like by calling it and asking
Speaker 6: I wouldn't make it worse, because I'm sure that people
Speaker 6: have had the same thought.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, that's the thing is that the people
Speaker 1: like I think that the people who would want to
Speaker 1: just like call in and vandalize the stream are the
Speaker 1: people who they're not. They left, They left a long
Speaker 1: time ago because they didn't actually give a fuck about
Speaker 1: like being here and listening to any of this. So
Speaker 1: it kind of makes sense when you think about it
Speaker 1: like that, have.
Speaker 6: There been any calls that you have that have been
Speaker 6: super long. When did maybe you thought were with somebody
Speaker 6: pulling your leg, because there's been a couple where I've
Speaker 6: been like I feel like that was an act.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, sure, yeah, definitely hundred percent, one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: You know, you know what I'm gonna say this, and
Speaker 1: this is uh uh do you?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Fuck it? So the you remember a caller who talked
Speaker 1: about jizzing on pizzas.
Speaker 6: Yes, that was the one I thought of, Like that
Speaker 6: was okay.
Speaker 1: So like like a few days after I put that
Speaker 1: out or whatever or had the call, and I went
Speaker 1: on discord and I was just like browsing my discord
Speaker 1: and I saw a guy in the cord. It'd be like, hey,
Speaker 1: that was I was just that was me who was
Speaker 1: talking about that. I was just pulling the prank. And
Speaker 1: I was like and no, I didn't know. It wasn't
Speaker 1: even funny. I was like, don't do that, man, I
Speaker 1: hate that.
Speaker 6: That's crazy.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 6: The one is the I think there was this lady
Speaker 6: who like thought she was like fucking of aliens or something.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, sure, the lady who I remember you're talking
Speaker 1: about the lady who thought that she who she was,
Speaker 1: she was like a high she claims to be a
Speaker 1: high ranking government official who gets abducted by aliens regularly.
Speaker 1: I okay that I know exactly what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: I think, okay. The question of okay that one I
Speaker 1: think I would say confidently whoever I was speaking with
Speaker 1: on the phone believed what they were saying to be true.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it was hard. It was a toss up for me.
Speaker 6: Like part of me was like, this person is either
Speaker 6: it's possibly mentally ill, foot pulling a break, but either way, like,
Speaker 6: I think you handled it really well well.
Speaker 1: Thanks. Also because I don't I think it's not fun
Speaker 1: to constantly be like this is fake and stupid. I
Speaker 1: I really someone was asking about this thing. I really believe,
Speaker 1: like from sitting in the driver's seat of this thing.
Speaker 1: My perspective is that the majority, you know, most people
Speaker 1: are telling the truth and coming on here to be sincere.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, I think. I sure there's like a handful
Speaker 1: that aren't. But like you look at the like I said,
Speaker 1: you look at the YouTube comments and every there's every
Speaker 1: fucking video. Someone's like, you know what, I'm actually really
Speaker 1: smart and know everything and this is a fake And
Speaker 1: it's like, dude, you don't like you don't. It's so
Speaker 1: it feels like ignorant to me to like say that
Speaker 1: everything is fucking fake and like that you know that
Speaker 1: it's fake. It's I feel as I don't like it.
Speaker 1: It feels ignorant.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's a weird flex.
Speaker 1: It's a weird flex. It's a weird flex.
Speaker 6: No. I think most comment sections that kind of have
Speaker 6: their own vibe terrible. Like you look at the YouTube
Speaker 6: comment section and this is completely stupid, but like in
Speaker 6: the Reddit comment section, it's like people fighting over the
Speaker 6: dumbest shit you've ever heard of in your life.
Speaker 1: Actually, okay, I want to you know what, I want
Speaker 1: to say this real quick. Thank you for giving me
Speaker 1: the uh the opportunity to say this. I know I
Speaker 1: said just like two seconds ago that everyone in the
Speaker 1: YouTube comment section is crazy. I take that back. I
Speaker 1: take that back. A lot of people in the Actually
Speaker 1: in the YouTube comment section, I let people are pretty cool.
Speaker 1: It's in the it's in like the short form, like
Speaker 1: the TikTok the TikTok comments section is filled with the
Speaker 1: same people. I will never take that back. But actually,
Speaker 1: I've I've been reading all the YouTube comments, like on
Speaker 1: the recent podcast because I'm curious because these conversations feel
Speaker 1: like conversations that I'm having alone, and so after I
Speaker 1: have them, I'm a little part of my brain is like,
Speaker 1: did anyone else hear that at all?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 1: Was that just a conversation? I know that they are
Speaker 1: because I'm doing it as a fucking podcast, but I
Speaker 1: still does it doesn't feel like. I mean, I'm the
Speaker 1: only person in this room right now as I'm talking
Speaker 1: to you. It feels like I'm just talking to you.
Speaker 1: So I like going on YouTube and being like, what
Speaker 1: do other people think about this guy? Like we had
Speaker 1: that guy rowdy, that a kid who is obsessed with
Speaker 1: his teacher, and I read I read every single comment
Speaker 1: that people had to say about him and his situation,
Speaker 1: and I want, I actually really want to say this.
Speaker 1: I felt as though a lot of the people in
Speaker 1: the YouTube comments section, if not again, if not the majority,
Speaker 1: like a ninety nine percent, were very thoughtful, in very kind,
Speaker 1: and very well intentioned in their responses. And that made
Speaker 1: me very you know, because I think a lot of people,
Speaker 1: especially for that call, I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: maybe had a reflex to criticize and focus on the
Speaker 1: things that were negative, And I was a little worried
Speaker 1: that would have I'm bean worried. What I you know,
Speaker 1: I can't control what other people think and say, but uh,
Speaker 1: I was. I was pleasantly surprised that that was not
Speaker 1: the case and that people were being thoughtful and helpful
Speaker 1: because I was actually I was reading because in the podcast,
Speaker 1: the kid talked about how he's gonna read he wants
Speaker 1: to read the YouTube comments, and he was like, are
Speaker 1: you gonna post us on YouTube? Because I want to
Speaker 1: read the comments and I want to hear what other
Speaker 1: people are saying about it. And so I was reading
Speaker 1: the YouTube comments, imagining myself as that caller reading them,
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, I think nobody. I didn't
Speaker 1: see any comments that I was like, that would be
Speaker 1: a concerning idea to put in this dude's head, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like everything I read, I was
Speaker 1: imagining him reading it, and I was like, Okay, this
Speaker 1: is actually like seems as though it will be helpful
Speaker 1: to this person to get these people's uh perspectives that
Speaker 1: people came in with with good and positive perspectives. I
Speaker 1: actually part of me was I was reading it. I
Speaker 1: was considering making it like a segment of the podcast
Speaker 1: where I would like read comments, Yeah, but I don't don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm gonna do that. It's the
Speaker 1: real reason I don't know if I'm gonna do that
Speaker 1: is because it's a bunch of fucking work. And I
Speaker 1: also I also really like I want the podcast to
Speaker 1: be like insular, Like I want it so that you
Speaker 1: can click on any episode and there's no like like
Speaker 1: some fucking podcasts are there about like their little in there,
Speaker 1: like they're about like their inside jokes and their community
Speaker 1: and stuff. And I don't like that. I like the
Speaker 1: idea that you can you can click on any episode
Speaker 1: and you don't need any backstory or context to know
Speaker 1: what we're talking. But I guess I don't know. Maybe
Speaker 1: I'm I don't know who cares, who cares about anything?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I like that. Other I like the guy a lot. Yeah, ready,
Speaker 6: scenes like like cool, but no, that's awesome. I guess
Speaker 6: a lot of that has to do with this community,
Speaker 6: because it's neat that a lot of people were on
Speaker 6: their offering him some decent advice. I feel like a
Speaker 6: lot of the times with like negative comments, it's more
Speaker 6: on like the short form stuff. I don't really poke
Speaker 6: around on like YouTube video comments, it's mostly like short.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, I agree. Yeah, that's why I was
Speaker 1: saying that the TikTok comments are kind of insane because
Speaker 1: it is mainly like short form, because because you don't
Speaker 1: you really can't get a good perspective on on something
Speaker 1: in you know, a minute, whereas these people are are
Speaker 1: presumably you know, I mean, they could have just been
Speaker 1: listening for one minute and gotten gone right to the
Speaker 1: comments section. But these people are presumably listening for a
Speaker 1: full fucking forty minutes to this guy talk about his life,
Speaker 1: and they're getting invested and they come to know, they
Speaker 1: come to you know, know him as a full human
Speaker 1: being instead of well, as as much as you can
Speaker 1: come to know somebody as a full human being in
Speaker 1: forty minutes. But yeah, you can do that more than
Speaker 1: forty minutes than you can in one.
Speaker 6: So for sure there's still stuff you can relate to.
Speaker 1: Do you not go on the internet?
Speaker 6: Oh no, I do. It's not as much anymore.
Speaker 1: You see, you sound like a healthy individual.
Speaker 6: And yeah, I mean maybe I just I got off
Speaker 6: of Reddit and I stopped caring about Reddit. I mean,
Speaker 6: I watched YouTube during like lunches and stuff. I keep
Speaker 6: up with news. I'm not like entirely disconnected. I'm just
Speaker 6: not super like socially linked in you know. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 6: on Instagram, Twitter, yeah all that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Twitter is horrible. I hate Twitter. I hate it
Speaker 1: so much. It's horrible. I don't post on twit Twitter anymore.
Speaker 1: I deleted my Twitter back and you know, years ago.
Speaker 1: But I have, like I have like lurker accounts just
Speaker 1: so I can like scroll and it's it's awful. I
Speaker 1: I was scrolling Twitter the other day on my little
Speaker 1: like burner account that I have just to read it,
Speaker 1: and I was like, why the fuck am I doing
Speaker 1: this every single time I come on here.
Speaker 6: It's just.
Speaker 1: Like it just makes me upset, you know, like there's
Speaker 1: no there's a reason for me to do this. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, like I would type
Speaker 1: therapy Gecko into the search bar like a fucking crazy
Speaker 1: person to see if like anyone on Twitter was like
Speaker 1: talking about me or talking about the podcast. And it
Speaker 1: was like, what am I? This is just like a
Speaker 1: horrible and then I and then it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: you're like your social media programming or like your brain
Speaker 1: just like does things fucking automatically, Like I trained my
Speaker 1: brain to automatically do this and automatic actually scroll on Twitter,
Speaker 1: and I was and at a certain point was it
Speaker 1: was like snapping out of fucking brainwashing. I was like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck am I doing? This is insane, this
Speaker 1: is insanity. I'm dying. I'm slowly fucking dying, and I'm
Speaker 1: sitting on here like getting mad, like getting mad on Twitter,
Speaker 1: like what am I doing? Dude?
Speaker 6: I did this. I remember being on the toilet and
Speaker 6: being like I can't do this anymore. I'm too angry.
Speaker 6: The algorithms work way too well. Like I think that
Speaker 6: everyone has at the moment where they come out of
Speaker 6: it a little bit and they're like, I, this is
Speaker 6: this isn't working for me. This isn't healthy.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. I mean even like I don't feel I
Speaker 1: don't feel bad playing video games anymore. I used to
Speaker 1: think maybe video games was a waste of time. But
Speaker 1: in this car, like in this uh timeline in twenty
Speaker 1: twenty four, if you in this world where like your
Speaker 1: attention is kind of being like taken away from you
Speaker 1: through like just the brainwashing of like I'm programmed to
Speaker 1: go on Twitter and scroll mindlessly if you can resist
Speaker 1: that and be like intentional with how you want to
Speaker 1: waste your time, Like there's almost something weirdly productive about that,
Speaker 1: Like I would like spending three hours mindlessly scrolling TikTok
Speaker 1: is way worse than spending three hours like playing a
Speaker 1: video game or watching a movie that you're reading a
Speaker 1: book that you intentionally chose to, you know, consume that
Speaker 1: was designed as like art. That's not just like weird
Speaker 1: brain even like a nice YouTube video essay or something
Speaker 1: like that. It's not just like a weird brain rotty
Speaker 1: fucking thing.
Speaker 6: Because then you're at least being like intentionally lazy, Like
Speaker 6: there's still soft skills you can get from like playing
Speaker 6: video games or reading or doing something else like the
Speaker 6: doom scrolling. It's you don't never get anything out of it,
Speaker 6: Like I I cannot remember what I looked at as
Speaker 6: soon as I put my phone down from like exactly
Speaker 6: like on TikTok or YouTube or whatever, like it just
Speaker 6: vacates my brain immediately, it's gone.
Speaker 1: Exactly. I watched The Whale five days ago, thought about
Speaker 1: it every day since.
Speaker 6: The whale.
Speaker 1: The whale, you know, the whale, Brandon Frasier. Yeah, the
Speaker 1: guy's got a daughter and he's he's obese. Are you
Speaker 1: still there?
Speaker 6: Yeah? It was good.
Speaker 1: It's crazy. It's an I saw really un It's a
Speaker 1: really uncomfortable movie to watch, like uncomfortable. How like well,
Speaker 1: also here's also here's an I think I'm like, like,
Speaker 1: I don't look like the whale, but like I'm a
Speaker 1: little overweight, and I think if you're like a little overweight,
Speaker 1: it's more uncomfortable to watch because the guy is kind
Speaker 1: of like wheezing and having a heart attack the entire
Speaker 1: fucking movie, and you're it just it kind of makes
Speaker 1: your like, like I was watching it, and I felt
Speaker 1: like I was having a heart attack vicariously through him
Speaker 1: in the movie. It's terrifl No, it's terrible. It's not
Speaker 1: a fun movie. It's not a fun movie to watch.
Speaker 1: But it's it's great. It's a great movie. You should
Speaker 1: watch it, Okay, but it's gonna be streamingly uncomfortable. I
Speaker 1: watch that. I watched The inside Out. I thought about
Speaker 1: that a little bit. There's it's a very it's a
Speaker 1: really weird movie night inside Out in the Whale, But
Speaker 1: that's that's that's what it was.
Speaker 6: Yeah, no, kidding on a side I like super relate
Speaker 6: to uh problem with like snack food. I went through
Speaker 6: like an entire box of sentiments, like an hour ago.
Speaker 1: Oh, sinmons are great, They're great.
Speaker 6: Someone brought me like an entire box box because they
Speaker 6: like go to like food pantries. Yeah, and they were like, yeah,
Speaker 6: well someone has left this year. I got it for
Speaker 6: free and I'm not going to eat them. So here
Speaker 6: you I've got seven boxes of Oh.
Speaker 1: That's not cool man, that's so that's so yeah, that's
Speaker 1: not cool man. But I once got uh a fucking
Speaker 1: the uh like I got I got Someone sent me
Speaker 1: a thirty mister Beast bars. They were just sitting around
Speaker 1: my house and that, and they weren't they weren't sitting
Speaker 1: around for long. They were like full sized candy bars.
Speaker 1: It was not It was not cool man. It was
Speaker 1: not cool man. You know what I love is those
Speaker 1: uh I go to this bodega every day and and
Speaker 1: they always have a they have these chewy chips of
Speaker 1: hoys with reeses. And every single I go to that
Speaker 1: badega every day for it to get like a whatever
Speaker 1: breakfast and ship and uh, I always look might I
Speaker 1: always make eye contact with the chewy chips of hoy races,
Speaker 1: and every day I have to answer the question what
Speaker 1: kind of day is today going to be? Because if
Speaker 1: I buy those, I'm not gonna like it's not gonna
Speaker 1: be like a grocery. It's not gonna be like I
Speaker 1: have a few in there, like in the pantry, you know,
Speaker 1: I have them if guests come over whatever, it's like.
Speaker 1: If I buy them, I'm standing outside of the bodega
Speaker 1: and eating the entire package, and then and then and
Speaker 1: then after. If that's how your days starts, there's no
Speaker 1: going back. You have to take Nike will and go
Speaker 1: to sleep and start over. You there's no returning from
Speaker 1: doing that with your morning, you know what I mean.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's too much. It's vero much.
Speaker 1: It's too much. But again, you seem like a normal person.
Speaker 1: You seem like a well adjusted man.
Speaker 6: Oh, thank you, I hope.
Speaker 1: So is there anything wrong with you?
Speaker 6: Oh? I'm sure.
Speaker 1: That that's a really awesome response. I respect that. Well. Well, thanks,
Speaker 1: I guess thanks for asking me these questions and letting
Speaker 1: me talk on this thing. It's fun to talk. I get.
Speaker 1: I get why people call in to talk on this thing.
Speaker 1: It's fun to talk.
Speaker 6: On it is. I mean, really, you're for answering it
Speaker 6: because it was mostly just to satisfy my own curiosity.
Speaker 1: Sorry, can you say that again?
Speaker 6: You got a good community. Oh we thank you for
Speaker 6: yeah answering my question.
Speaker 1: Do you have any more questions or comments or thoughts
Speaker 1: or concerns before we go?
Speaker 6: Mm hmm I don't think so. Now.
Speaker 1: Well, Bob, God bless you.
Speaker 6: And remember my name.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you never do your name. I remember your name
Speaker 1: and I never do that. I feel I feel mentally
Speaker 1: clear today in a weird way. I feel honored as
Speaker 1: you should be, as you should be.
Speaker 6: All right, thank you as the get bye Bob bye. O.
Speaker 1: That guy's awesome. I love that guy. Hello, folks, it's
Speaker 1: Lyle here. That's the end of this episode. But get this,
Speaker 1: I'm releasing a bonus episode this week. That's right, an
Speaker 1: entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen
Speaker 1: to By becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko over
Speaker 1: at therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Supercast subscribers get
Speaker 1: access to bonus episodes, They get a completely ad free
Speaker 1: podcast feed of the regular show, They get recordings from
Speaker 1: my live shows members only streams, and they help support
Speaker 1: my ability to continue doing this podcast. So here's a
Speaker 1: clip from this week's members only bonus episode.
Speaker 7: And she like turns the phone around so I can
Speaker 7: see it, and in like the ten seconds that she's
Speaker 7: showing me her phone, a text drops down. And you know,
Speaker 7: I'm not like a snoopy person. I don't, but naturally,
Speaker 7: your eyes just kind of, you know, it kind of
Speaker 7: catches your eye. And the only thing I saw it
Speaker 7: was that it was a guy's name.
Speaker 4: Mark.
Speaker 5: It's spilled M A R C. And that's why I
Speaker 5: knew that it had to be the same guy, because
Speaker 5: the spelling was the same. And so now I'm in
Speaker 5: a situation where I found out just yesterday that I've
Speaker 5: invited both of these people to my birthday party this weekend,
Speaker 5: and she's going to show up and he's going to
Speaker 5: show up unless I do something about it.
Speaker 1: So it's just like a weird thing where she's seeing
Speaker 1: you romantically and him romantically at the same time.
Speaker 5: And we're about to be in the same house, right Okay.
Speaker 1: If you want to hear this full conversation, you can
Speaker 1: sign up to become a premium member at therapy Gecko
Speaker 1: dot supercast dot com. Or find the link in the
Speaker 1: episode description. That's therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. All right,
Speaker 1: I have nothing else to say.
Speaker 4: Again, goes on the line making its own every.
Speaker 1: Night, goes to exact in the line
Speaker 6: H