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Speaker 1: Scrubbing in with Beca, Tilly and Tanya wrap an iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in scrub dub dumb California.

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Speaker 3: Hello.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 3: I love scrub dub dup scrub dub dub.

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Speaker 4: I do it every week.

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Speaker 2: At tune. It's a Dear Bonnia episode. So congrats.

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Speaker 4: Everybody was about Tommy and Molly, So thanks for nothing.

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Speaker 2: Thing still just the allegations, just allegend.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, just the alleged I will have.

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Speaker 2: I do want to say last week's or yeah, last

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Speaker 2: week's Dear Bonnia episode. I answered a question about Haley

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Speaker 2: and Crystal posted the video. The video thank you so much.

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Speaker 2: It was hard to get out and I so much love,

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Speaker 2: and it was such a conversational thing that I didn't

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Speaker 2: intend for it to be like a moment, Like I

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Speaker 2: really didn't intend for it to be a moment. I

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Speaker 2: was just you know, giving advice. And I also feel

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Speaker 2: like I've said a lot of those things on like

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Speaker 2: Instagram and questions and stuff. So it was funny in

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Speaker 2: like the nicest way. How how much love I.

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Speaker 5: Got that I would have thought about her forever is

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Speaker 5: like out of a movie.

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Speaker 4: Honestly, Yeah, it needs to be like a name of

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Speaker 4: one of her songs.

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Speaker 6: Honestly, someone was like the way back, so casually just

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Speaker 6: said like the most romantic ever. But again, I feel

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Speaker 6: like I've said that before, so I felt like I

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Speaker 6: was repeating myself.

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Speaker 4: You weren't. You've never said any of that before.

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Speaker 2: I guess on my maybe somewhere else I've said it.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, or I've thought it.

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Speaker 4: I don't know, but or you probably said it to

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Speaker 4: like people in the comfort of your own.

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Speaker 2: Walls, just me and Phoebe Phoebe before, maybe I would

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Speaker 2: have thought about her forever. I thought about it. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but thank y'all. It's true, like I always have felt

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Speaker 2: so supported by the scrubbing and listeners of scrubbers and

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Speaker 2: you guys, and Easton does make me feel like I

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Speaker 2: could cry every time I talk about him look at him.

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Speaker 2: So that's sweet. Yeah, But anyways, we have more questions

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Speaker 2: to hard hitting questions and emails.

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Speaker 4: And and Mark is back here.

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Speaker 2: I am still with the mask.

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Speaker 7: Take the mask off, I can yeah, okay, see that

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Speaker 7: I'm not going to see.

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Speaker 2: Give him a real voice.

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Speaker 4: This is the muffled, is not it anymore?

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Speaker 1: Just right there. We go, spewing germs everywhere.

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Speaker 4: I have an open container over here.

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Speaker 2: Okay, but that has been sitting there for a gross time.

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Speaker 2: I think she needs to be done.

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Speaker 1: From anonymous, I'll be honest.

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Speaker 7: I'm not no g scrubber, but was introduced to your

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Speaker 7: podcast on a recent road trip with mcgal Palace.

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Speaker 1: We're all devoted scrubbers and they had it on.

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Speaker 7: They gave me the lowdown, and I love both of

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Speaker 7: your stories and also the dynamic of the four of you.

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Speaker 1: So I'm now a listener.

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Speaker 7: I'm writing because I know I am a Becca to

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Speaker 7: the core, and I wanted to ask her how Haley

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Speaker 7: deals with her personality. I'm almost a year into my

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Speaker 7: relationship and I love my boyfriend, but he has difficulty

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Speaker 7: dealing with my aloofness and avoidant attachment style. I very

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Speaker 7: much related to Becca when she mentioned in a recent

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Speaker 7: podcast but wanted to sometimes throw away her phone because

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Speaker 7: everyone has access. I am so this. I sometimes turn

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Speaker 7: off my phone as I wind down and not even

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Speaker 7: my boyfriend gets through, and he gets frustrated. It's not

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Speaker 7: that I don't love him, it's just me. I've been

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Speaker 7: like this all my life. You and Haley have been

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Speaker 7: together a while now, can you give me any advice

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Speaker 7: on this front. I don't know if I will change

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Speaker 7: or if I want to. I just know I want

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Speaker 7: to be with him love A dedicated a listener.

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Speaker 2: Now, oh, first of all, thank you for yeah, have

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Speaker 2: you what do you call it? Like a influenced listener,

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Speaker 2: Like someone who just happened to be in the car just.

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Speaker 4: Got their cherry pop Jesus, it's really.

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Speaker 2: What the old scrubbing and cherry.

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Speaker 4: Bob every single of us at some point for seven years.

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Speaker 2: True, So anyways, welcome after that. Here's the thing that

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Speaker 2: complicates this advice for me is because Hailey is the exception.

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Speaker 2: She's not the rule. She's the exception.

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Speaker 4: Does everybody know what famous movie that is from?

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Speaker 1: I know the phrase, I didn't know.

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Speaker 2: I used to watch it every Friday night. Tanya is

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Speaker 2: the main character. We've talked about this so many times.

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Speaker 1: You're kind of the main character.

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Speaker 2: He's just not that Indian.

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Speaker 4: It's just not that into you.

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Speaker 2: Great movie. I watched it on the plane to gosh. Okay,

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Speaker 2: we can't get sidetracked. So I really like Hailey is

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Speaker 2: the only person who has been able to climb over

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Speaker 2: this wall that I have built. She has a special

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Speaker 2: ladder and so she's been able to access access to

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Speaker 2: me in a way that no one ever has been

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Speaker 2: able to and so she is the exception to that.

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Speaker 2: So I think it would be really hard. I think

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Speaker 2: it would be really really hard for her if I

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Speaker 2: was still aloof and needed space in the way that

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Speaker 2: I have needed in the past. Because like even sometimes

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Speaker 2: when we're going to bed, He'll be like about to

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Speaker 2: enter rim sleep and she's like, hey, can you look

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Speaker 2: at me so we can connect.

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Speaker 4: Before we're going to bed, and about she is so mean,

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Speaker 4: I'm like thirty.

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Speaker 2: Minutes to connect for like before I was about about

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Speaker 2: fall asleep. So I do think that would be really

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Speaker 2: hard for her. But I think the challenges that you know,

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Speaker 2: you want to be with him, so he hasn't been

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Speaker 2: able to access that place that like Hayley's been been

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Speaker 2: able to access for me. But I think it's just

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Speaker 2: having dedicated time and maybe also having a conversation when

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Speaker 2: you can fill yourself needing that distance in space, like

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Speaker 2: giving him loving reassurance that it's for you, it has

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Speaker 2: nothing to do with him, and letting him know that

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Speaker 2: you love him. But you need to like fully cut

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Speaker 2: yourself off from like conversation like anyone needing you, because

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Speaker 2: sometimes you just don't want to be needed. And that's

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Speaker 2: just I'm not I'm just gonna stick up for the

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Speaker 2: boyfriend here, you know, just I agree, I'm I'm with them,

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Speaker 2: I get it.

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Speaker 4: I'm just gonna say that relationships are compromise, and if

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Speaker 4: he needs a little reassurance while you're winding down, maybe

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Speaker 4: you find a happy medium, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 4: Maybe you don't turn the phone off, Maybe you like

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Speaker 4: give him like the whatever the thing is that they

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Speaker 4: can go straight to your ringer or whatever, like you

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Speaker 4: just compromise, you know.

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Speaker 2: But I think I think that's what I'm saying, Like, Hey,

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Speaker 2: I'm about to put my phone on silent, and I

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Speaker 2: love you so much I cannot wait to catch up later.

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna like disconnect for a minute. I love you,

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Speaker 2: And that way there's no like feeling of being ignored

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Speaker 2: or he didn't know it was humming and feels like

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Speaker 2: just shut off without a warning, because I think anyone,

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Speaker 2: even I would be hurt if someone if Haley just

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Speaker 2: was like I need to shut down, I need space

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Speaker 2: and didn't give me a heads up and then she

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Speaker 2: just put her phone. Well, do not disturb. I'd be upset.

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Speaker 4: I'd be losing it, we know.

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Speaker 2: So do y'all have any advice if you're because if

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Speaker 2: if if your wives did that or while y'all were dating.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that would that would that would freak me out.

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Speaker 1: I think I would like it. I'm I'm more like,

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Speaker 1: tell ya, I'm always connected.

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Speaker 2: But what would make you feel like that?

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Speaker 7: Yes, hey, I love you, I'm going on, I need

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Speaker 7: to disconnect for a couple of hours.

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Speaker 1: And then I'm kind of like, well, I don't count right,

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Speaker 1: I don't count as right.

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Speaker 4: I know I would feel like from me should connect right.

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Speaker 7: So I think that's great. I think that's the best

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Speaker 7: you can do. But it still might lead the insecurities.

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Speaker 5: That was something that was really hard for me to

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Speaker 5: get over because I dated a lot of women that

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Speaker 5: would like if they were mad, they just wouldn't talk

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Speaker 5: to me or something like. That was a thing that

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Speaker 5: was like, So if I didn't hear from Alison for

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Speaker 5: like a few hours, oh gosh, she's mad at me,

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Speaker 5: you know. And she sat me down on a and

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Speaker 5: she's like, if I'm mad at you, I will tell

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Speaker 5: you right away.

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Speaker 1: You will not.

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Speaker 5: You will know immediately that I have that something is wrong.

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Speaker 5: That's not how I do things. I don't just like,

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Speaker 5: we'll ignore you forever. So if I'm ignoring you because

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Speaker 5: I'm doing something else, or my phone died, or I

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Speaker 5: just don't want to be on my phone, you don't

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Speaker 5: have to worry. And that was great, and uh, that's

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Speaker 5: and so sometimes I don't want to hear from her

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Speaker 5: for days weeks at a time, and it's cool.

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Speaker 1: Baby.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know, and part of me goes, is

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Speaker 2: this your person? But it sounds like she's really I

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Speaker 2: feel like you were getting at but it sounds like

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Speaker 2: to that access, she sounds like she's sure that this

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Speaker 2: is her person.

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Speaker 4: I don't know if she's sure.

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Speaker 2: She says, I just know that I want to be

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Speaker 2: with him.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm not, that's not my person. I'm not seeing

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Speaker 4: her say this is the one.

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Speaker 2: I mean, she's and some basically those different words. I

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Speaker 2: just know I want to be with them. I think

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Speaker 2: you try this. I think you try communicating when you

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Speaker 2: need space, reassure him, give him love so that he

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Speaker 2: knows that you're not abandoning him and that's what I think.

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Speaker 2: I think that will help.

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Speaker 7: There we go next up another anonymous I have a

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Speaker 7: question after hearing the Becca Moore podcast.

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Speaker 1: You guys talked.

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Speaker 7: About either to tell your friend if their partner is cheating,

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Speaker 7: and my anxiety arose because I've been dealing with this

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Speaker 7: exact issue. My friends live overseas, but we're home for

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Speaker 7: a funeral earlier this year. My friend, the wife went

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Speaker 7: home earlier than the husband.

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Speaker 1: It happened.

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Speaker 7: I happen to be out with a single friend one

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Speaker 7: night and for fun, we were going through her tender matches,

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Speaker 7: and later that night she sent me a screenshot of

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Speaker 7: my friend's husband on Tinder. I've really struggled but whether

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Speaker 7: or not to say anything. They have a family, and

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Speaker 7: because they live overseas, I don't really one hundred percent

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Speaker 7: know their situation, Like maybe they have an open marriage,

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Speaker 7: they don't talk about it. I've been struggling because I

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Speaker 7: don't want to be the per and that could potentially

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Speaker 7: blow up a family.

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Speaker 2: Help. I have a great advice for this. I think

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Speaker 2: you take us you take the screenshot, or say hey,

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Speaker 2: my friend, I think there's someone using your husband's photo

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Speaker 2: and I just want to let you know, they're using

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Speaker 2: his photo on a dating like they're using him on

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Speaker 2: a date, which I very well could be they could be. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but that way you're off the hook because you're like,

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Speaker 2: you're not saying he's cheating, You're just saying, hey, uh,

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Speaker 2: his photo and name is being used on a day.

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Speaker 4: Is this ostentatious that he hasn't? Thank you so much?

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Speaker 4: Thank you, thank you, thank you. It happened after I

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Speaker 4: became demir. If he is that ostentatious to be on

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Speaker 4: a dating app with a family with his photo, then

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Speaker 4: he deserves to be caught.

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Speaker 1: Well that's the thing. You may still blow up the family,

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Speaker 1: but this family needs to be blown up.

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Speaker 2: They can blow it up within themselves. And all you

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Speaker 2: did was like, hey, I'm trying to help out. Yeah right,

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Speaker 2: you did not. You will not be responsible for whatever

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Speaker 2: happens with this, but because you know it will release

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Speaker 2: your conscious right.

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Speaker 4: You can say, like, I think somebody's catfishing, ye, your

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Speaker 4: husband's photos. This is so crazy. But then to put

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Speaker 4: it on her to get to the bottom.

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Speaker 2: Of it, said, hey, what's going on with this?

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Speaker 6: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Is this you?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, boom. Good advice, But.

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Speaker 4: That was actually pretty quick on your feet.

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Speaker 7: I need some advice about what to do in a

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Speaker 7: post real life Gray's romance. I'm a nurse and I

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Speaker 7: started hooking up with one of the surgeons back in April.

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Speaker 7: A few weeks in a dating I found out he

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Speaker 7: had been seriously dating another of our co workers, but

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Speaker 7: was on a break when we started things. He went

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Speaker 7: on a trip with her for his birthday and lied

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Speaker 7: about going on the trip, saying he was going by himself.

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Speaker 7: When she came back ten and with a Hawaii necklace,

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Speaker 7: I knew it wasn't the coincidence. We stopped talking for

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Speaker 7: a bet. He said some really hurtful things. We saw

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Speaker 7: each other every day at work. We were in procedures

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Speaker 7: together with him and his girlfriend awkward. So slowly he

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Speaker 7: came back into my life, shut her back with our

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Speaker 7: daily phone calls, and would hook up here and there.

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Speaker 7: Fast forward to now I don't work at that hospital anymore.

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Speaker 7: I've moved across the country. The girlfriend ended up hearing

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Speaker 7: a rumor from one of the other surgeons that I

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Speaker 7: slipped and told months ago, and she.

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Speaker 1: Broke up with him.

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Speaker 7: He won't confirm it because he knows it will kill

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Speaker 7: her to know the truth. The question is, so, here's

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Speaker 7: the deal. They're not together. I don't work there, but

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Speaker 7: she's been fishing for answers, reaching out to some of

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Speaker 7: my friends from work and trying to contact me.

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Speaker 1: Should I be honest with her? Or do I move

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Speaker 1: on and let it go?

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Speaker 2: There's more?

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Speaker 1: But wait, there's more.

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Speaker 7: He recently put his resignation in because of the whole situation.

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Speaker 7: I feel horrible that he lost his girlfriend and his

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Speaker 7: job because of our secret fling. Do you think telling

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Speaker 7: her would help me feel better about the whole situation

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Speaker 7: or what do I do?

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Speaker 4: There's something that just makes me so uncomfortable about like

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Speaker 4: this actually being reality. It's like soakes really it's so funny,

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Speaker 4: or like oh, watch on grays now. I mean then

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Speaker 4: thinking about like somebody getting surgery and having like that

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Speaker 4: weird dynamic in the surgery room makes me so uncomfortable.

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Speaker 2: That they could be just like working on someone saving

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Speaker 2: their life while.

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Speaker 4: They're like awkward tension, or like someone's thinking about the

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Speaker 4: someone's wiener, like you know what I mean, Like I

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Speaker 4: don't know, there's just all of it just makes me so.

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Speaker 8: Uncozy that my mind didn't go there once the wiener

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Speaker 8: but that's common for me, and that's common.

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Speaker 7: Less than anyone in this room. I would imagine you

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Speaker 7: think about Wieners less than anyone in this room.

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Speaker 4: Honestly, think about Wieners all the time. Like I'm not joking.

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Speaker 4: They crossed my mind at least a minimum of three

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Speaker 4: times a day, just like the general like the gens,

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Speaker 4: well Robbie's obviously, but like just the magic of it,

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Speaker 4: like like throws and my I don't know it, just

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Speaker 4: all of it is so fascinating to me, Like we

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Speaker 4: don't have a body part like that us.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, right right, thank you for sharing.

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Speaker 1: That's very interesting, fascinating.

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Speaker 4: I do I think about I will say, at least

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Speaker 4: three times a day.

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Speaker 1: They are fascinating.

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Speaker 7: You're right, yeah, they are a very unique part about

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Speaker 7: the part of the right.

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Speaker 4: And my robb is like, you guys have boobs. It's

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Speaker 4: kind of the same thing, you know, it's just.

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Speaker 1: Not they turned into torpedoes.

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Speaker 2: And could launch miss.

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Speaker 1: Material.

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Speaker 2: You know. This is the thing. I'm curious about this

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Speaker 2: what if if people, well women think about this multiple

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Speaker 2: times a day. I feel like you're h hit me up.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what I've learned about the scrubbers as

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Speaker 2: Tonya is never as the tots are strong.

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Speaker 4: The tots are strong and they have weird minds.

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Speaker 2: I appreciate that you called them the tots without any

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Speaker 2: arguments catching on, isn't it?

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Speaker 8: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: I like them.

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Speaker 2: Okay, anyways, back we decide the anonymous. Here's my thing.

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Speaker 2: I don't think there's any reason that you need to

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Speaker 2: talk to her, Like you have moved on, you're not

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Speaker 2: working there, you're not with him, you're not talking to him,

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Speaker 2: you don't see her. However, if you feel like it

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Speaker 2: will somehow make you feel better about the situation by

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Speaker 2: talking to her and like giving her honest truth because

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Speaker 2: it sounds like this guy just lied to everyone he

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Speaker 2: was involved with, then I say, have a phone call,

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Speaker 2: but like, you don't need to be best friends with her.

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Speaker 2: I don't.

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Speaker 4: This happened to me once. Actually, was I with you?

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Speaker 4: I can't remember where I was. I was on vacation

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Speaker 4: with was it you?

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Speaker 2: No, you were on vacation I think with Paulina and Sophia.

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Speaker 4: Okay, that's what I thought that I thought. And then

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Speaker 4: some girl called me who was dating a guy that

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Speaker 4: I dated in my past, and basically asked me she

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Speaker 4: said she saw my name and his phone and she

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Speaker 4: thought that he was cheating with me, I guess, And

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Speaker 4: I was like, you could not be farther from the truth,

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Speaker 4: like this is so I talked to her. I mean

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Speaker 4: it was like a brief con wasn't sitting there like

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Speaker 4: chit chatting and having a long conversation. But I talked

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Speaker 4: to her and was like, he's her mind. Yeah, because

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Speaker 4: I can't remember again. I think I was reaching out

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Speaker 4: about We were texting about something super super inocuous. Thank you,

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Speaker 4: thank you.

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Speaker 2: Did you get the own diction yeary.

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Speaker 4: Ostentatious? I'm not inocuous, but yeah, So I told her.

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Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, I hit him up because something,

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Speaker 4: and he responded it was literally nothing. If he is

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Speaker 4: cheating on you, it's not with me, So keep your

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Speaker 4: searching because 'tis not me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I think it sounds like it'll it will probably

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Speaker 2: ease your mind, and he's her mind if y'all just

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Speaker 2: have a conversation and can talk about it. But I

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Speaker 2: just am saying, if you're ready to move on and

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Speaker 2: let it be in the past, let it be in

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Speaker 2: the past.

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Speaker 1: And don't feel horrible that he lost his girlfriend.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that thing to do with you or her. This

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Speaker 2: was his doing and he's a liar.

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Speaker 1: And if you would feel better talking to her, talk

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Speaker 1: to her, you know, women.

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Speaker 2: Loving women wlwi WP platonic.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you get it all off your chest. You'll feel better.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you'll feel better maybe just you know, yes, I

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Speaker 1: say it's fine, do it. Can we take a break?

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Speaker 1: Would you guys?

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Speaker 2: Mind?

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Speaker 4: Oh my god?

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Speaker 7: Oh he's the next one. Mikayla's got one coming up

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Speaker 7: and it is religion based.

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Speaker 1: Icy coming back.

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Speaker 2: All right, we are back, and this is from Mikayla.

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Speaker 7: MICHAELA says, I'm a huge Frian of the podcast. I'm

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Speaker 7: a fairly religious person and believe that God showed me

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Speaker 7: this podcast when I really needed it.

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Speaker 1: Thanks God.

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Speaker 7: I know that both of you are modern women with

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Speaker 7: a strong faith, but you also go against some of

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Speaker 7: the typical rules of what a Christian should do swearing, sexuality, sex, etc.

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Speaker 7: Despite the judgments of other Christians, you hold true to

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Speaker 7: your faith and ignore would people think of you. So

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Speaker 7: my question is how do you block out other people's

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Speaker 7: judgments of your faith. I'm going through an interesting faith

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Speaker 7: journey right now, and I find myself thinking about what

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Speaker 7: other people think about my faith more than what God does.

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Speaker 7: How do I stop that? Any advice would be very appreciated.

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Speaker 7: Love you both in the podcast is amazing.

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Speaker 4: So nice. Thank you Michaela, Thanks Mikaelea. People are critical.

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Speaker 2: Of every little.

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Speaker 4: Thing, and people judge for every little thing, and I

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Speaker 4: find it I have such a different opinion because I

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Speaker 4: just feel like my faith is my relations my relationship

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Speaker 4: with God. That is something that's mine. Nobody can take

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Speaker 4: that from me, nobody can judge that. Or if you do,

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Speaker 4: then that's on you. Like I would get DMS all

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Speaker 4: the time a woman of God. How do you believe

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Speaker 4: in the zodiac? And I'm like, if you don't, then

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Speaker 4: you don't. It's a fun, silly thing that I like to, like,

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Speaker 4: you know, like play around with and think about and

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Speaker 4: engage with, and like I just find it fun and silly.

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Speaker 4: It's not that deep. I think that's kind of where

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Speaker 4: my mentality is. So I just think people are going

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Speaker 4: to judge you for everything, and I think you just

404
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Speaker 4: have to not care what people think about you.

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Speaker 2: I think when it comes to like the rules of

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Speaker 2: Christianity output rules quotes, every single person likes to cherry

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Speaker 2: pick which parts they choose to judge people based on

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Speaker 2: and I will say, actually, the hardest thing I have

409
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Speaker 2: had to navigate is judge is is worrying or trying

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Speaker 2: not to care about what Christians think about me. Like

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Speaker 2: I think, out of anyone that I've gotten like negativity

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Speaker 2: or hate from, they have been people of faith, and

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Speaker 2: so I've had to just go, you know what, like

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Speaker 2: we disagree with each other, like they dis agree with

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Speaker 2: who I love and who I'm in a relationship with.

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Speaker 2: And to be honest, some of these people, if there

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Speaker 2: even if it's a heterosexual relationship, and if the guy

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Speaker 2: is someone that I would disagree with and his beliefs

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Speaker 2: and how he treats woman or something, I could be like,

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Speaker 2: I don't agree with who you're married to or who

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Speaker 2: you're in a relationship with. So I think it's like

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Speaker 2: I at this moment where I realized that I could

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Speaker 2: just go on this rant about how much I love

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Speaker 2: doctor Pepper, and the people who love Coke will always

425
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Speaker 2: be like, how could you love doctor Pepper over Coke?

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Speaker 2: Like it's the og, how could you love that more?

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00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,960
Speaker 2: And it's like you there is someone that's always going

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Speaker 2: to have an opinion on something that you do, whether

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Speaker 2: it's faith related, what you eat while you're saying just

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Speaker 2: totally innocuous. I don't know or word of the podcast,

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Speaker 2: but I think that the whole thing with faith, and

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Speaker 2: I do think it's different because I grew up in

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Speaker 2: it so like it all the rules and what's right

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Speaker 2: and wrong. We're like ingrained in me at a very

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00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:08,479
Speaker 2: developmental age where I soaked everything in, so like trying

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Speaker 2: to navigate what I believe and where I stand in

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Speaker 2: my faith, in my relationship with God has been such

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Speaker 2: a challenge because when you're told something when you're young,

439
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Speaker 2: it feels like that's the truth and there's no other

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Speaker 2: truth and there's no room to question it. So when

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00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 2: you get older and you start questioning something that's been

442
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 2: your truth for so long, it's so scary and you

443
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 2: either have to like go through it and see the

444
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:35,159
Speaker 2: light at the end of the tunnel, or you just

445
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,399
Speaker 2: stay in the place where you are where you're like,

446
00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:42,000
Speaker 2: I'm now questioning something that I can't find the answer to.

447
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,119
Speaker 2: And the truth is I don't know a lot of

448
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:48,119
Speaker 2: the things. I'm not a scholar. I only know what

449
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 2: else Tanya is a scholar today. That's right, but I

450
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:53,879
Speaker 2: think you just I think what you said is like,

451
00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,520
Speaker 2: having a relationship with God is such a personal thing,

452
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,040
Speaker 2: and I think that you need to focus on what

453
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 2: that is over what other people think, because people will

454
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,159
Speaker 2: always have an opinion.

455
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,560
Speaker 4: And you're so right about the rules. People cherry pick

456
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 4: they're like, well you're a Christian, you shouldn't do this',

457
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,359
Speaker 4: but they're swearing and they're drinking.

458
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,080
Speaker 2: And it's like, when you really look at it, like

459
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:18,280
Speaker 2: pick what. Literally, you can meet any single Christian and

460
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 2: if they have a judgment for you, they could cherry

461
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,520
Speaker 2: pick something, and you could cherry pick something too. On

462
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 2: the flips contrast, yeah, contradict.

463
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 1: Taking religion out of it.

464
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,399
Speaker 7: The biggest gift you can give yourself is to stop

465
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,119
Speaker 7: caring what other people think about you and what you do.

466
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 7: And I really try to express this to my daughters,

467
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,240
Speaker 7: and it doesn't seem to be working because they care.

468
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,680
Speaker 1: I get it.

469
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 4: It's very debilitating, it really is when you care about

470
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 4: what people think so deeply, like it really can, like

471
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,240
Speaker 4: it can change the trajectory of your life, like truly.

472
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:53,080
Speaker 2: But just remember you could be the ripest, juiciest, most

473
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:55,400
Speaker 2: beautiful peach on a tree and there's still someone who

474
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 2: just doesn't like peaches.

475
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 4: Yea, like I prefer a watermelon.

476
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it doesn't I mean you've done anything wrong.

477
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 1: I'm in a pretty good place with it.

478
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 7: When I was younger, I remember if I would get

479
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 7: honked at when driving, whether I did anything wrong or not,

480
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,480
Speaker 7: it would rock me, like the whole drive home and

481
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:11,640
Speaker 7: the rest of the day I'm thinking.

482
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 1: Like, oh man, that got honked at me.

483
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,040
Speaker 7: Like I'm like, it would bother me so much, like

484
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:19,080
Speaker 7: I'd be a little bit mad, but also embarrassed and

485
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 7: also like like was he right?

486
00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,159
Speaker 1: Did I do something wrong? I would really bother me.

487
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,920
Speaker 7: And now I'm like, hey, how you doing okay? Whatever,

488
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:27,920
Speaker 7: and then you move on. I'm in a much better

489
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:29,159
Speaker 7: place with it. But I guess we'll have to go

490
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 7: on that journey.

491
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:31,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, we do. We go on that journey.

492
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:34,920
Speaker 2: Just return it with road rage, which is also something

493
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 2: that I need to work. It's not the right problem,

494
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 2: it's not, but it's better than just like feeling debilitated

495
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 2: by their cruelty.

496
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:41,960
Speaker 3: Yeah.

497
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 4: I'm always just like, God, bless you, God bless you.

498
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:46,880
Speaker 4: You must be having a horrible day that you need

499
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:50,320
Speaker 4: to honk your horn that much at me, Like sometimes

500
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:51,639
Speaker 4: I hope your day turns around.

501
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,920
Speaker 2: Sometimes I can have a gentle spirit and I can

502
00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:57,760
Speaker 2: do that, but sometimes I get I get on their

503
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:04,159
Speaker 2: tail until they in the studio. One day and someone

504
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 2: a guy cut me off and I honked at him

505
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,960
Speaker 2: to let him know he was in my lane and

506
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 2: he had his middle finger up to his windshield. I

507
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,679
Speaker 2: saw in my rear view he had it up, and

508
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,440
Speaker 2: then as he passed me, he did it, and I've

509
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 2: slammed on my horn and like chased him until I

510
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 2: did get off that.

511
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 4: No, don't get don't the bird he gave me the bird? Also,

512
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 4: who does that anymore?

513
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 2: Like you grow up like.

514
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 3: Me?

515
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:33,880
Speaker 4: No, the guy that was flicking you off.

516
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 1: The finger does dated doesn't give me?

517
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's giving my get on TikTok.

518
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,240
Speaker 1: Speaking of what are we doing that dance? You sent

519
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:46,400
Speaker 1: us a dance a few weeks ago?

520
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,400
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I don't even know if it's trending anymore.

521
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,960
Speaker 7: But we can try anonymous h beca Tanya Mark and Easton.

522
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,119
Speaker 7: I'm a huge Day One fan. I'm one Tanya to

523
00:24:56,160 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 7: my core. But people please are like Becca, Yeah, how.

524
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 2: We're viewed the people pleaser?

525
00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 4: You are you always talk about how your people please are.

526
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 2: I think we're all kind of people pleaser.

527
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 5: Skurvers are like I'm Atania because I'm insane, or I'm

528
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:15,600
Speaker 5: a becket because I like fast food.

529
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, characteristics.

530
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:22,680
Speaker 1: Anyway.

531
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 7: I dated a guy in high school for two months.

532
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:26,359
Speaker 7: We broke up, and I started in my now husband.

533
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,560
Speaker 7: We've been together for eight years now. We live in

534
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 7: a small town. We run into this guy and his

535
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:32,280
Speaker 7: now wife a decent amount.

536
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 1: I think she really hates me.

537
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:36,520
Speaker 7: I thought I was just overthinking it for a while,

538
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 7: but after the past few years, anytime I'm around, she

539
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 7: will grab him to leave or intentionally ignore me. I mean,

540
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 7: this is in high school for two months. She's also

541
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 7: made comments to mutual friends that she doesn't like me

542
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,360
Speaker 7: because of us dating prior. Him and I never talk

543
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 7: unless we see each other out and say hello, nothing more.

544
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:54,439
Speaker 7: It all seems so silly, but I let it bother me.

545
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,200
Speaker 7: This kind of gets back to what we're talking about

546
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,680
Speaker 7: other people's opinions. I haven't reached out to her a

547
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 7: few years back and expressed how I'm happy for the

548
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,399
Speaker 7: two of them, and I hope that we're good.

549
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:04,159
Speaker 1: Do you have any advice moving forward.

550
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 7: I wish I could just not let it bother me,

551
00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:09,120
Speaker 7: but public situations are super uncomfortable, even for a quick hello.

552
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 7: I don't want there to be tensioned. But is this

553
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:15,440
Speaker 7: a lost cause to care about making better? Ps currently

554
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 7: going through infertility and IVF and your podcast has been

555
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:20,400
Speaker 7: a top source of cheering me up.

556
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:22,280
Speaker 1: So love you guys. That's very nice.

557
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,160
Speaker 4: Well, first of all, anonymous, good luck on your IVF journey.

558
00:26:25,359 --> 00:26:32,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, good luck. We're thinking and prying for a beautiful.

559
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 4: Boisterous Is that like a big lots more energetic.

560
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:39,679
Speaker 1: How about just a happy result?

561
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 4: Yeah?

562
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:43,240
Speaker 2: Happy result? Yeah, but we love you.

563
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 4: Yeah.

564
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,960
Speaker 2: So this is really interesting because when I was in

565
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,880
Speaker 2: San Diego, I had this thing with this guy and

566
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 2: it was I wouldn't even call it a thing, Like

567
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:57,760
Speaker 2: we kissed a few times, that's a thing, but like

568
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 2: I'm saying, like it was, yeah, we made out of

569
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 2: a couple of times, three times. No, No, it was

570
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 2: very quite innocent. But he was like super Christian. I

571
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:11,439
Speaker 2: think I was like his first kid. Like it was,

572
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:15,320
Speaker 2: but in the in the in that time, it felt significant,

573
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 2: but like in the grand scheme of things, it's nothing.

574
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:18,919
Speaker 2: He then fell in love with his now wife, who

575
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 2: he was he is obsessed with, like since high school,

576
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:26,800
Speaker 2: he's been obsessed with her, and she even to this

577
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 2: day still has me blocked on Instagram from seeing her page.

578
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:33,240
Speaker 2: And I just think it's the weirdest thing. Like I

579
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 2: ran into them. They live I think in La now

580
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,680
Speaker 2: and I ran into them at a like a breakfast

581
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,080
Speaker 2: spot with Haley, and I was like, Oh, it's my

582
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 2: girlfriend Hailey and just cold as ice to me, and

583
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 2: I'm like, God, I mean, I guess that's just someone't

584
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 2: my girlfriend women, And I just it bothered me, like

585
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:58,720
Speaker 2: for a long time, and after that, I was like,

586
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,879
Speaker 2: what a miserable Like she just has a lot of

587
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:06,359
Speaker 2: insecurities and feels like whatever that comes from is not

588
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:09,120
Speaker 2: my issue to worry about anymore.

589
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:13,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, honestly, I have a it's not the same situation,

590
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,080
Speaker 4: but I had to have somebody in my life that

591
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 4: it is very uncomfortable. Yeah, whenever we're around him, it

592
00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:22,959
Speaker 4: does get very tense and there's like this awkward tension

593
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 4: and it's just it's just the cross I have to bear.

594
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,800
Speaker 4: But I too have somebody in my life that it's

595
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 4: so awkward. And I, again, I did nothing wrong blocked

596
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,720
Speaker 4: me on social media, like really just does not like me,

597
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 4: and I again, did absolutely nothing wrong in the situation,

598
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 4: and it would it got to me for a very

599
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:44,880
Speaker 4: long time, like it would I would just fixate on

600
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 4: it because I was just I would make me upset,

601
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 4: like does it like it seeps into my happy, positive

602
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,280
Speaker 4: energy and it makes me dark because it's so dark

603
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:56,400
Speaker 4: and like who cares. It's like, get over yourself. But

604
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 4: at the end of the day, there's literally nothing that

605
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 4: you can do. Quite literally, you've told them I'm happy

606
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 4: for you, guys like you can not you're married, Like,

607
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 4: there's nothing that you can do. People are just going

608
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,760
Speaker 4: to be bitter or be whatever they are, and you

609
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 4: just have to let them be.

610
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 7: People hate that there's anyone else in the world that

611
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:17,000
Speaker 7: has made out with their partner or slept with their

612
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:19,440
Speaker 7: partner or seen their partner naked or all that stuff.

613
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 7: It drives them crazy because they let it drive them crazy.

614
00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 7: You're right, there's nothing you can do. Kill her with

615
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:27,520
Speaker 7: kindness when you see her be the better person, and

616
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,760
Speaker 7: that's it. It's her issue to deal with and she's

617
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 7: not going to deal with.

618
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 2: It, no, sadly, and it's it's got nothing to do

619
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 2: with you. I think it would be any woman that

620
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 2: had that looked at him in a romantic way. So

621
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 2: all you can do is be kind and try to

622
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 2: not ever be around her as much as you can.

623
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, why we shall leave the town as we grew

624
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 1: up in.

625
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 7: By the way, this is why we need to get

626
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 7: out of town, go see the world a little bit,

627
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:53,080
Speaker 7: because when you grow up in the small towns, these

628
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:53,680
Speaker 7: things fester.

629
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 2: Yes, but you're doing great, and you're you're amazing, and

630
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:00,240
Speaker 2: we love of you.

631
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 1: How many more do we have time for? Beckaly?

632
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 2: I would say we have time for one? Pick a

633
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:09,720
Speaker 2: good one. One more.

634
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 4: We're getting dicey on the time.

635
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 7: One more, but I have to take a break, see

636
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,280
Speaker 7: that one more, so we'll make it a butte.

637
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:37,680
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, we're back for our final dear question.

638
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 7: Dug through the whole mail bag and shows this one

639
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 7: for the last one today.

640
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 4: You don't have a mail bag.

641
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 7: We have a big mail bag mail box, Yeah, says

642
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 7: two back, and it's spell wrong.

643
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 1: It's cute.

644
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:53,320
Speaker 7: My sister has been with a guy for seven years.

645
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,160
Speaker 7: They recently got engaged. In My entire family and extended

646
00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 7: family all dislike him. They started getting young, so I

647
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 7: think at for we all just saw him as being immature.

648
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 7: He'd grow out of it one day, But boy, he

649
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 7: never has. My sister does everything around the house and

650
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 7: gives him whatever he wants. Whenever he has an opinion,

651
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 7: my sister automatically agrees with him without any question. He

652
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 7: makes comments and does things that are rude without even

653
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 7: realizing it. For example, he proposed and had an engagement

654
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:20,960
Speaker 7: party on the same day as my cousin's high school

655
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 7: graduation and the instead. If my cousins loved my sister,

656
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,920
Speaker 7: they'd find a way to be the engagement party. He

657
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 7: once told my dad he doesn't need to help my

658
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 7: sister out around the house because he makes more money

659
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 7: than she does. He will come over to use my

660
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:35,720
Speaker 7: dad's tools to work on his car and not even

661
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 7: come h to come and not even come in to

662
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 7: SAYHU to the family. These are just a few of

663
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 7: the many examples as to the point where every little

664
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 7: thing he does drives our family crazy.

665
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 2: What do we do?

666
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 3: You know?

667
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 2: I was saying earlier that like if someone I used

668
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:54,720
Speaker 2: to get so defensive about someone not like supporting my relationship,

669
00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 2: like I would get like, how could they it's just love,

670
00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 2: you know, And now I see like these things, I'm like,

671
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 2: I would never support someone.

672
00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: I really like this. I don't have to help out

673
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 1: around the house because.

674
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 2: Rage. It's so I know.

675
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 4: But here's the thing. Rage to you, rage to me,

676
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:23,600
Speaker 4: rage to you, It is not rage to this anonymous.

677
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:24,320
Speaker 2: Sister that sounds brainwashed.

678
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 4: Whatever the case may be. I feel like the problem

679
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:32,040
Speaker 4: is because I I have been so many situations in

680
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 4: my life where like, not it doesn't it's not happening

681
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 4: to me, but like there are people in my life

682
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 4: who don't like the person that this person is dating,

683
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 4: or their brother or their sister or whatever their cousin.

684
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 4: And I feel like when you get involved, especially when

685
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 4: it's this far down the line, like speak up. If

686
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 4: it's early days and they're dating somebody and they're saying

687
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 4: some of this stuff, like I would throw up a

688
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 4: flag and be like that sounds sus and like I

689
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:56,440
Speaker 4: would really reassess. But I feel like when it gets

690
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 4: to this, oh my life, I feel like when it

691
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 4: gets to I feel like, what it gets to this point,

692
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 4: like you can't you can't say something without damaging your

693
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 4: relationship with your sister, Like you just can't.

694
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:14,480
Speaker 2: I just should have said yes sooner.

695
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 1: I mean, it's sad they started dating when they were young.

696
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 7: So I'm sure that the sister has like self esteemishes

697
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 7: she doesn't think she can do any better than this guy.

698
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 7: And also there's a chance that she really does love

699
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 7: him and there's something about him that no one else

700
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:27,480
Speaker 7: is seeing. She knows him better than anybody else. But

701
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 7: also when you start dating so young, you don't know

702
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 7: what else is out there, you have nothing to compare

703
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:31,760
Speaker 7: it to.

704
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 4: But also like, you're not the savior.

705
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I'm a sibling.

706
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 1: What she can do.

707
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,880
Speaker 4: You're not the savior. You're the sibling, and your job

708
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 4: as the sibling is to support your sibling. And if

709
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,640
Speaker 4: it ends up, if they end up divorced, you're gonna

710
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 4: be there to pick up the pieces.

711
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't really know.

712
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 2: I really don't know what to say because I think

713
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 2: a whole family plus extended family hating someone speaks volumes.

714
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 2: And I think that when you're in a bad situation

715
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:09,080
Speaker 2: and you are not able to see how people view

716
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 2: your partner in a negative light, I think that's concerning

717
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:15,120
Speaker 2: Because I think.

718
00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:18,560
Speaker 4: I don't think you realize, what if this all this family,

719
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,359
Speaker 4: if the family and the extended family they all come

720
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 4: out and they say we don't like this person and

721
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:25,479
Speaker 4: why it needs to be like whatever it is, then

722
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 4: your sister is going to turn into a shell and

723
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:31,640
Speaker 4: she is going to be inward and she's not gonna

724
00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:33,920
Speaker 4: trust anybody, and she's gonna be go further and further

725
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 4: or deep into this relationship. He's gonna be the only

726
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 4: thing that she has. She's gonna it's just gonna. I

727
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:40,799
Speaker 4: just I just don't think you're thinking it through.

728
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:45,319
Speaker 2: I don't know though, because then it's like she gets

729
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 2: married and then has to deal with legal stuff if

730
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:51,080
Speaker 2: something goes down. I just think it's worth having a

731
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:55,719
Speaker 2: conversation with her privately, not like a family meeting, but like, hey,

732
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,359
Speaker 2: when he says things like this, does he ever say

733
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:02,319
Speaker 2: those things to you? Like is he? I don't know.

734
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 2: I think there's a heart to heart that you can

735
00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:06,720
Speaker 2: have as a sister. I feel like if my sister

736
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 2: was dating someone who I didn't think was healthy, I

737
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:10,399
Speaker 2: would I would have a heart to heart with her

738
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:14,280
Speaker 2: and say like I love you, and what I see

739
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:19,400
Speaker 2: as your sister is can be hurtful some of the

740
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,880
Speaker 2: things that he says. So I just want to make

741
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 2: sure that you that this is what you want to

742
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:27,200
Speaker 2: go through with, because marriage is a big deal.

743
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,439
Speaker 7: Are you happy? That's the key is are you happy?

744
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 7: Because if she is, then I think you got to yeah,

745
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:32,799
Speaker 7: step away.

746
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 2: Are you? Are you genuinely happy? Is this how you?

747
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,799
Speaker 2: Is this the person that you envisioned yourself getting married

748
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:39,799
Speaker 2: to and the person you envisioned having a life.

749
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:40,959
Speaker 1: Is he going to be a good dad?

750
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:44,839
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think it's just asking question. Sometimes it's hard

751
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:49,359
Speaker 2: to ask questions. Sometimes it's hard to like have hard

752
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:52,520
Speaker 2: conversations out of fear that you're going to push them

753
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:57,560
Speaker 2: further away. But I think not having the conversation opens

754
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:01,360
Speaker 2: up more problems for her down the road. That's my opinion.

755
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 2: You have different opinions.

756
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's beauty.

757
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:07,120
Speaker 2: That's the beauty of this podcast.

758
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:10,360
Speaker 4: You get a little bond, you get a little you know,

759
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:17,319
Speaker 4: you little Bonnie, a little yeah you, little Bonnie, and

760
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:18,800
Speaker 4: then you decide.

761
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 2: And then you decide. We will be in Palm Springs

762
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:26,000
Speaker 2: as mentioned before. So okay, firstly, let me let me

763
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:29,240
Speaker 2: let me go back. If you ever have any uh,

764
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 2: dear Bonnie questions you can always d m us on

765
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 2: Instagram at scrubbing in pod or email us at scrubbing

766
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 2: In at iHeartMedia dot com. And as for this weekend

767
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:39,319
Speaker 2: in Palm Springs, we are going to be doing a

768
00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 2: truth or Drink episode, which we know y'all love, so

769
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:45,439
Speaker 2: submit your questions too.

770
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 7: I think Crystal is going to put a sorry, no no, no,

771
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 7: no no, please finish you.

772
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:53,319
Speaker 4: I think Crystal is going to do like question box

773
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,680
Speaker 4: on Instagram. Sorry, check out that insta hit that insta.

774
00:36:56,960 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 7: Can I give some parameters because it's really hard to

775
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:03,120
Speaker 7: come up with good truth or Drink questions.

776
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:04,680
Speaker 1: Here's what the reason is.

777
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 7: Tanya answers everything, so it's hard to find stuff she's

778
00:37:09,239 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 7: not comfortable answering. That's why I remember at the live

779
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 7: showing in West Hollywood, the question was what's the.

780
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,880
Speaker 1: Largest object you ever put in your rear end?

781
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,879
Speaker 7: Because it's weird to ask a question that Tanya might

782
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 7: not be comfortable answering, and even that.

783
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:27,680
Speaker 1: So really think.

784
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:31,239
Speaker 4: Something maybe different, something you'd like.

785
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,760
Speaker 7: To know about Tanya that she might be uncomfortable asking.

786
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 7: Same with Becca. Becca has a different tolerance for stuff

787
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 7: that makes her uncomfortable as answering but so you need to.

788
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 4: Find Becca drinking the whole time.

789
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:44,320
Speaker 7: But we also don't want to ask a bunch of

790
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:46,239
Speaker 7: stuff that Becca would never answer in a million years.

791
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,560
Speaker 1: So that's like a fine line. We got to find.

792
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 7: Here questions that Becca will answer and stuff that Tanya

793
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:55,720
Speaker 7: would think twice before answering.

794
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:57,040
Speaker 2: Might take a shot.

795
00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 1: That's why it's hard. But we'll do our best. Then.

796
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:01,319
Speaker 1: I'm sure you come up with good stuff. You always do.

797
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, so really put your thinking cap on for this.

798
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:12,680
Speaker 2: And then and then another teaser. We're going to epic Con.

799
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're.

800
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:22,120
Speaker 2: Wow, the Old City, the City of the Bean, the Bean.

801
00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:26,280
Speaker 4: We should go to Juliana Ransay.

802
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:28,280
Speaker 2: You said was going to RPM.

803
00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:30,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, are you down?

804
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 2: Sure?

805
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, Okay, great.

806
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,360
Speaker 2: I think there's a lot of restaurants there, so maybe

807
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,879
Speaker 2: we can get a list together and see what comes up.

808
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 2: So cute. Well will she be there? I don't know.

809
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:42,880
Speaker 4: I don't know. I imagine like when people have restaurants that

810
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 4: they're just like sitting at the entrance greeting everyone, welcome

811
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:46,240
Speaker 4: to my restaurant.

812
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 2: I don't think she's there, but maybe she can meet

813
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,239
Speaker 2: us for a drink or something. Yeah, but we're gonna

814
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:53,320
Speaker 2: go to Epicom. We're going to interview grays and that

815
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 2: I mean, I mean a lot of people from all

816
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:57,279
Speaker 2: different TV.

817
00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:58,879
Speaker 4: Show worlds, like Responders.

818
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:02,799
Speaker 2: We're not interviewing first or spowners, people that play them

819
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:06,640
Speaker 2: on television, right right, We're interviewing a lot of actors.

820
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:11,520
Speaker 2: So that's coming up in September. But we love you

821
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:16,000
Speaker 2: all so much. Love you have a great weekend. Bye bye,