WEBVTT - Rescue Call 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:08.160 Wine Down with Jane Kramer and I heard radio podcast Mark, 0:00:09.720 --> 0:00:13.480 what do we owe the pleasure? Well, I got a 0:00:13.480 --> 0:00:16.079 little text this morning that they implied this maybe a 0:00:16.160 --> 0:00:21.400 juicy one. I knew it, honestly. What's so funny is 0:00:21.560 --> 0:00:24.599 a little teeny piece of me was like, I bet 0:00:24.720 --> 0:00:29.360 you Mark is going to be on today, well, because 0:00:29.360 --> 0:00:31.560 there's some meat on the bones today. And I was like, 0:00:31.680 --> 0:00:34.720 I just have a I have a I have this 0:00:35.440 --> 0:00:38.559 little inkling inside of me that he's going to be 0:00:38.640 --> 0:00:41.720 on today because he loves the juice. Well, I wish 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:43.720 I could be on more, you guys do These are 0:00:43.760 --> 0:00:45.640 weird times and it doesn't work. But I love being 0:00:45.680 --> 0:00:47.800 on and I'm happy to be here. What time would 0:00:47.800 --> 0:00:50.080 work for you, Mark, Well, I like a little later 0:00:50.600 --> 0:00:52.760 because I have my other duties in the morning, you 0:00:52.800 --> 0:00:56.600 know with seacrest and yeah that's right. Yeah, but not 0:00:56.720 --> 0:00:59.160 that you're not my top priority because in my mind 0:00:59.400 --> 0:01:06.839 and my heart you see. Um, Well, how are you though? Wonderful? 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:10.240 Thank you so much. Yeah, life is good. Life is good. 0:01:10.280 --> 0:01:14.479 You're good. I'm so good, Mark, are you That's great? Yeah, 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:18.319 You're in a good place. I'm in I'm in the 0:01:18.360 --> 0:01:22.480 best place. I think i've ever been in ever. Ever, 0:01:23.160 --> 0:01:27.360 that's fantastic. Can a friend at test it? Yeah, you 0:01:27.600 --> 0:01:30.319 say so, I'd say so for sure. So all of 0:01:30.360 --> 0:01:33.640 the things that you're doing to become the best you possible, 0:01:33.760 --> 0:01:37.000 you're seeing you're seeing the effects of that. Yeah, and 0:01:37.040 --> 0:01:43.160 it's not attached to a he yes, and that's a 0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:46.200 big deal. I see I see your Instagram and it 0:01:46.200 --> 0:01:50.320 looks like things are going fantastic. Yeah, I have. I'm 0:01:50.360 --> 0:01:58.080 I'm so, I'm good. I'm good. I swear, No, it's good. 0:01:58.120 --> 0:02:00.440 I was. I was talking about that last week. It's 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:03.360 just like I like this, this version. I like this season. 0:02:03.360 --> 0:02:07.960 I'm gonna this is going to continue fantastic for how 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:12.360 much longer, just indefinitely and comes around, It comes around. No, 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:16.320 I mean this is a I think again. You go 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:19.080 through things, you pass mountains, and you look at the 0:02:19.080 --> 0:02:21.119 mountain and go, wow, I'm so grateful that all these 0:02:21.120 --> 0:02:26.720 things happen, because now I see the new version, the 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:29.400 healed version, and that's you just take you of course, 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:32.960 like you might slide back into things because of pass 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:35.440 but then you remember the work and everything, and I 0:02:35.440 --> 0:02:36.959 think that's just what you feel. Yah, you'll be better 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:38.359 equipped to deal with it when you do, and you'll 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:40.360 see it coming. When you start to slip into those things, 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:44.440 that's great. You gotta fall in love with yourself. Now 0:02:44.560 --> 0:02:46.400 is the time when the guy slip in. When I'm like, 0:02:46.400 --> 0:02:49.480 when you're good, yeah, well, and now, Mark, you'd be 0:02:49.560 --> 0:02:52.079 so proud of me, like my strong boundaries that I have. 0:02:52.160 --> 0:02:54.400 Like I've kicked guys out. I've said like I need 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:56.959 you to leave like I want to. Yeah. I kicked 0:02:57.000 --> 0:02:58.560 to due out and said I wanted to be alone. 0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:03.399 I was like, guys, that's awesome. It's like, this is amazing, 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:05.160 But I did it really nice. They didn't like it, 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:06.519 even though it was I was nice, but that's not 0:03:06.600 --> 0:03:09.040 I'm like, I want to be alone. Yeah, And they 0:03:09.080 --> 0:03:10.920 have to deal with that, And honestly, that just makes 0:03:10.960 --> 0:03:13.639 them desire you more, doesn't it. I mean that just 0:03:13.760 --> 0:03:16.080 it's like showing up in a sold out movie. You're like, 0:03:16.200 --> 0:03:20.080 I gotta see that movie. He's like, I'm seeing that now. Yeah. 0:03:20.120 --> 0:03:22.480 It was. I was talking to Julie actually the other 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:24.840 day because I had gone on this day and I 0:03:24.880 --> 0:03:26.800 just realized it wasn't gonna work out right. It was 0:03:26.840 --> 0:03:32.160 just some things just didn't weren't aligning, and um, there's 0:03:32.160 --> 0:03:34.280 no point, especially at the age that I'm into, to 0:03:34.320 --> 0:03:37.200 continue on when it's like I already know it's not 0:03:37.200 --> 0:03:42.040 gonna work. So I instead of what old Jana would 0:03:42.040 --> 0:03:44.640 do is like either a if I if I ghosted, no, 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:46.960 I would just text and then just the text would 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:50.040 probably slowly just disappeared until they got the hint. But 0:03:50.080 --> 0:03:52.000 I'm like, I'm gonna not text, and I'm going to 0:03:52.080 --> 0:03:54.400 pick up the phone and I'm gonna call. Right So 0:03:54.440 --> 0:03:56.360 I call this person and I'm like, hey, I just 0:03:57.200 --> 0:03:59.480 I want to be honest with where I'm at because 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:01.960 we were spo hang out again, have another date, and 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:05.040 I was like I just realized that, um, you know, 0:04:05.080 --> 0:04:07.560 there's just some things and I don't see this romantically 0:04:07.640 --> 0:04:12.920 moving on and just like so open, so honest, and 0:04:12.960 --> 0:04:16.000 then you know, he was like oh yeah, yeah, like 0:04:16.160 --> 0:04:18.880 you know, I get that h totally. But then like 0:04:18.920 --> 0:04:20.680 the next day calls and goes, well, do you think 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:22.360 maybe we could try again? And I'm like, dude, don't 0:04:22.360 --> 0:04:25.320 make me do it again, you know, like I was like, 0:04:25.520 --> 0:04:26.839 you're a heart that was for me to do it 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:29.080 the first time. So then when he called back and 0:04:29.120 --> 0:04:32.240 said that. I was like, He's like, well, just think 0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:35.120 about it, and I'm like okay, because I'm like, because 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:37.840 I didn't want to disappoint again, right, it was so 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:39.400 hard for me to do it in the first place. 0:04:39.760 --> 0:04:41.560 At that point, I think you might be justified and 0:04:41.680 --> 0:04:43.960 kind of ghosting at that point you think, Okay, that's 0:04:44.000 --> 0:04:45.640 what I was going to ask, because I'm like, now, 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:48.479 I'm like, I already freaking told you I wasn't really interested, 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:51.839 and like now you've you've called, and I'm like, how 0:04:51.920 --> 0:04:54.560 how do I spell it out again? Yeah? I think 0:04:54.600 --> 0:04:58.440 I think he's right. I think you can ghost okay 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:01.320 or just okay. Yeah, I mean you've already said your 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:03.800 peace and him like, keep pushing is not going to 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:07.479 do any good. So but I'm proud of you. Such 0:05:07.520 --> 0:05:09.960 a guy though, such a guy to be like, you know, 0:05:10.320 --> 0:05:12.520 she didn't mean it. You know what, She's had a 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:16.039 couple of days without me. She probably misses me, right, 0:05:16.360 --> 0:05:20.120 But before um, yeah, no, Krista come here. But before 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:23.880 she comes in, Um, I want to tell you guys 0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:27.320 about Dime. I love Dimes so much. Um. It's vegan, 0:05:27.440 --> 0:05:32.520 it's clean, cruelty free, it's affordable, luxury it's great for 0:05:32.560 --> 0:05:35.400 all skin types. So I use the hyaluronic acid serum. 0:05:35.520 --> 0:05:41.159 It's amazing. Um, the TVT cream, Catherine, you like that one. Yeah, 0:05:41.200 --> 0:05:44.000 that one's really good. Um. They're Um, I know it's 0:05:44.040 --> 0:05:47.000 not summer anymore. It's technically summer right right now. But 0:05:47.120 --> 0:05:49.360 their sunscreen is amazing. But all of their products are 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:53.520 so good. Um, and their their matte lips too are awesome. 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:57.040 And if you have short eyelashes, try their eyelash serum 0:05:57.080 --> 0:06:00.400 because it'll make your eyelashes grow so long. All right, 0:06:00.440 --> 0:06:02.960 Chris is sorry. Um, what we're gonna say, Oh, I 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:05.480 was gonna say, Um, you do it the same way. Well, 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:07.560 what I would do is you do it the same 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:09.800 way you did the first time, reiterate, and then if 0:06:09.800 --> 0:06:13.240 they come back again, then that's when you go, I 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:16.360 don't do anything more than twice anymore. I'm done with 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:19.919 asking for like major things more than twice. I'm done. 0:06:20.760 --> 0:06:22.960 I'm done with that because if you don't hear me 0:06:23.040 --> 0:06:26.040 by the second time, like you're clearly not going to 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:28.880 hear me. So that's interesting, walk away and move on. 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:32.760 That's been a rule that I've kind of lived by. Um. Really, 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:36.640 probably in the past year and a half, two years. Yeah, no, 0:06:36.720 --> 0:06:39.440 I like that. It's almost I have to tell you 0:06:39.440 --> 0:06:42.839 just one more thing that just really goes along the 0:06:42.880 --> 0:06:44.880 same line. It's like, I don't think guys are used 0:06:44.920 --> 0:06:49.400 to it's not that they're used to girls breaking up 0:06:49.400 --> 0:06:50.960 with them, or maybe I don't know that the dude 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:53.440 that this one dude, but or two of them now. 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:55.679 But the one way that I asked to leave Mark, 0:06:56.360 --> 0:07:00.880 I said, um, I was like, He's like, I just 0:07:00.960 --> 0:07:03.080 kind of sense and that you you know, you you're 0:07:03.279 --> 0:07:04.800 in a mood. I was like, well, no, I realized 0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:07.680 I just want to be alone. And and so I'm 0:07:07.720 --> 0:07:08.960 going to ask you. He's like, do you want me 0:07:09.040 --> 0:07:10.720 to leave? He's a mood, but you know, he gets 0:07:10.760 --> 0:07:12.720 like I'm sensing your energy or whatever. And I'm like 0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:16.280 and I said, yeah, I want to be alone. And 0:07:16.560 --> 0:07:18.640 and so he's like, do you want me to leave? 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:20.720 And I was like I do. And I'm so sorry. 0:07:20.920 --> 0:07:24.880 I just like really want to be alone? Are right? Right? What? 0:07:24.960 --> 0:07:26.520 I but it's new for me? Right, So like I 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:32.120 genuinely felt that. I mean, the guy flew from Australia. 0:07:36.600 --> 0:07:40.200 I think you're sorry. It was kind of you can 0:07:40.280 --> 0:07:47.400 be sorry for that, but again it wasn't you know, 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:52.320 I'm like, right, let me drop you off at the 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:56.320 quantistin I felt bad, but at the same time like yeah, 0:07:56.320 --> 0:07:58.720 like I want to be alone and I'm realizing this 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:02.560 isn't you know, this isn't a thing. And but then 0:08:02.680 --> 0:08:05.320 the worst part of it was and just like the 0:08:05.400 --> 0:08:08.600 last conversation I had, twenty minutes later, I still don't 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:11.040 hear the door shut, you know. So then he comes 0:08:11.040 --> 0:08:12.960 back in my room and was like, so, do you 0:08:12.960 --> 0:08:14.200 really want me to leave? Do you want me to 0:08:14.200 --> 0:08:16.880 get an uber? And I was just like again, like 0:08:16.920 --> 0:08:20.000 do you know how do you know how hard this 0:08:20.040 --> 0:08:23.080 is for me? To be honest? Like why do you 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:29.000 do this? It just once? And then I was like, yes, please, 0:08:29.080 --> 0:08:33.400 thank you from now on off janis something one time 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:38.320 you get one time because it's like and again, because 0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:40.160 it's hard for me to even do that, you know, 0:08:40.360 --> 0:08:42.880 like you know me, I would just like I would 0:08:42.920 --> 0:08:45.000 lie or I would say like I don't know. So 0:08:45.040 --> 0:08:49.319 like Christo was on a day the other day, which one, 0:08:50.480 --> 0:08:53.600 and she texted me and she goes, oh gosh, I 0:08:53.600 --> 0:08:54.959 just don't think this is gonna work. And I'm like, 0:08:55.000 --> 0:08:56.640 do you want me to call you crying, like I 0:08:56.679 --> 0:08:58.480 can be like do do I need to be like 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:02.439 do you meet or rescuer? But then there's something about 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:06.120 that I didn't by the way, you didn't know. You're like, 0:09:06.160 --> 0:09:08.280 I'm gonna sit down and I'm gonna yeah. I mean, 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:11.400 it was a good conversation. But um, immediately when I 0:09:11.400 --> 0:09:14.120 saw this guy, I was like, I'm not attracted to you, 0:09:14.520 --> 0:09:17.360 and he was. He looked older in person, he was 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:23.079 super skinny. I should probably not say, oh hey, really 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:25.120 and truly like he didn't. He was skinnier than he 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:27.680 looked in his photos. His age showed a little more, 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:29.400 and I was just kind of like me. And he 0:09:29.440 --> 0:09:33.280 even described himself as an acquired taste, and I was like, 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:37.880 I don't know if I could acquire that taste. But 0:09:37.920 --> 0:09:40.080 it was good conversation and I didn't need to rescue, 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:42.360 but I was happy to have that backup. I look 0:09:42.360 --> 0:09:45.439 at my phone and there's miscalls from Janna. Okay, I'm okay. 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:47.960 So some women set that up. They say, look, you 0:09:48.000 --> 0:09:50.440 call me eight fifteen and nine. I'm seeing this guy. 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:52.320 You call me, and then you have the option you 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:54.079 can say, oh, it's just my friend. Jann, Everything's fine. 0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:56.320 You can say what, oh my god, an emergency. I 0:09:56.360 --> 0:09:58.600 gotta go that way. It's up to you. Here's the 0:09:58.679 --> 0:10:00.440 question that I would love to ask mar would you 0:10:00.480 --> 0:10:03.800 want to know like if I mean again, like you, 0:10:03.800 --> 0:10:05.600 I don't even married for a million years now, but 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:11.760 if you were twenty a couple of weeks ago, thank you, congrats, 0:10:11.240 --> 0:10:14.320 that's amazing. But if you were to come back into 0:10:14.400 --> 0:10:19.160 the dating world, would you want someone to tell you 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:21.280 right up front? Do you need a softer like what 0:10:21.320 --> 0:10:22.800 do you think a guy wants to do you think 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:26.600 they need a softer like, um, a softer exit. Do 0:10:26.600 --> 0:10:30.320 you think because I personally don't like ghosting, that's it 0:10:30.360 --> 0:10:34.120 doesn't feel good on the receiving end. Yeah, I think 0:10:34.160 --> 0:10:36.720 as hard as it would be because men and their egos. 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:39.040 You know, everyone wants to protect the mail ego and 0:10:39.080 --> 0:10:40.600 you have to kind of stroke it and you have 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:42.480 to be careful with it. But I think the splash 0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:44.920 of cold water is the best way to do it. 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:47.760 I think that way there's no hope for me because 0:10:47.800 --> 0:10:49.719 if you soften it, I'm going to be like, well 0:10:49.840 --> 0:10:53.160 she did say this that one time, like one sentence 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:56.160 you said, and think there's hope. So if you really 0:10:56.200 --> 0:10:58.160 just cut it off, then I know, and it's gonna 0:10:58.160 --> 0:11:00.360 be It's gonna suck for twenty four hours, but then 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:04.160 it teas you to move on. So can we talk 0:11:04.160 --> 0:11:08.440 about when it is appropriate to ghost? Because I know 0:11:08.559 --> 0:11:11.520 I have recently ghosted a guy, partially because he kind 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:18.080 of ghosted me. But Jannah, are you are you inquiring 0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:22.080 about who the person I should ghost? No? No, I'm 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:30.000 just asking for a friend following that one. Um, well, 0:11:30.080 --> 0:11:32.480 yes and no, but I was more asking about one 0:11:32.520 --> 0:11:35.400 of my people. I have one thousand percent think you 0:11:35.440 --> 0:11:39.120 should I have, and you think I should go through 0:11:39.120 --> 0:11:43.920 my dude? Yes, but again they're rude and different everybody. 0:11:44.120 --> 0:11:49.000 This just sounds exhausting, right. I saw this, Um, I 0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:50.440 have to pull this up because I thought it was 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:53.200 so funny, and I'll get back to the ghosting. But 0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:56.199 I saw this thing and said, dating in this generation 0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:59.680 is no. I don't want to hang out with you 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:02.560 from No. I don't want to flirt on Snapchat while 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:04.920 you say sexual things to me before you've even met me. 0:12:04.960 --> 0:12:06.800 I want to be picked up, taken on a date, 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:09.680 and I want the doors open from me. Damn. Okay, 0:12:09.720 --> 0:12:11.440 I'm glad you read that, because that was one of 0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:13.120 the things that that was like a hard line that 0:12:13.160 --> 0:12:16.000 I drew with this guy. Is he's asking me for pictures, 0:12:16.720 --> 0:12:20.080 like like you know, all the way pictures, and I 0:12:20.160 --> 0:12:23.160 was and I had to tell him, well, I had 0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:25.959 to tell him twice and I wasn't going to tell 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:29.400 him again. And I said, frankly, I said, if you're 0:12:29.400 --> 0:12:31.120 going to see me naked, it's going to be in person. 0:12:32.000 --> 0:12:33.880 And I feel like that should just be said once 0:12:34.920 --> 0:12:36.480 time out. Do you know what? He responds back with, 0:12:37.240 --> 0:12:39.200 I don't even want so just she like speaks your truth. 0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:43.679 Cry face, cry laugh face, cry laugh face. I'm like 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:46.640 getting hot inside right now thinking about it. But I'm 0:12:46.720 --> 0:12:52.439 never dating. I'm like seriously, like, okay, that's just wrong. 0:12:52.840 --> 0:12:55.800 What you said is wonderful. If I'm the guy and 0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:57.520 you say it's going to be in person, I'm like, 0:12:57.559 --> 0:13:01.199 oh great, Like she's open that possible reality that could happen. 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:04.800 That's so exciting. Yeah, well, clearly this guy just wanted 0:13:04.800 --> 0:13:19.600 to jack with me because moving forward well or something, 0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:27.880 you're out of there, because moving forward it's it's instant gratification. 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:30.200 Everything has to be right now, right, now, right now, 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:32.959 right now, right, So it ultimately lead me. And this 0:13:33.040 --> 0:13:36.520 is where I had the weak moment, and I texted 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:38.200 him again and I was like, and I was like, 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:53.520 do not text him, but I did. She did. Daddy 0:13:53.559 --> 0:13:57.760 Mark is going to help us men today and the 0:13:57.840 --> 0:14:01.080 younger generation is so frustrating just ask a woman out. 0:14:01.320 --> 0:14:05.920 They're so scared to do that. Yeah, I get it. 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:08.520 I fear rejection to rejection sucks. I get it. But 0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:10.840 at some point somebody's got to ask somebody out. You 0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:12.319 can't just hang out the rest of your life. Do 0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:14.679 you want the girl to ask or do they want 0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:18.040 the girl totally? I don't think so. I don't that's 0:14:18.040 --> 0:14:20.240 a good question. Probably not. I think they just want 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:22.400 to keep it, keep it great, keep it as as 0:14:22.480 --> 0:14:25.400 undefined as possible. Well, and so here's the here's that 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:28.120 part that's frustrating. And so I had someone I was like, 0:14:28.160 --> 0:14:30.240 I'm he if he wants to talk to me, he 0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:31.880 can reach out to me. I never reached out once 0:14:31.920 --> 0:14:33.440 to him. I was just because I'm like, you know what, 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:36.520 I'm sure he has lots of women throwing himself at 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:40.920 him or throwing themselves at him. And so then he 0:14:40.960 --> 0:14:42.760 said to me, why don't you ever reach out to me? 0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:44.640 And I'm like, well, I figured, you know, if you 0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:46.680 want to talk to me, you're gonna You're gonna text me. 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:48.520 And he's like, well, I want to hear from you. 0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:50.240 He's like, I want you to reach out, but then 0:14:50.240 --> 0:14:53.120 when I reach out, it's not then reciprocated. So then 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:57.560 I'm like, this is what I'm talking about. This is 0:14:57.560 --> 0:15:00.160 what's so annoying with guys like they it's like, I 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:04.280 don't understand. Do you know what I mean? I see 0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:07.240 to me, it's simple, but apparently it's not to other guys, 0:15:07.320 --> 0:15:09.080 because yeah, I would want to hear from you, and 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:11.760 if I did, I'd be excited to respond. That's why 0:15:11.800 --> 0:15:15.600 I'm just like, no more games. The next It's like, 0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:18.360 it's just if you think of me, like someone said 0:15:18.360 --> 0:15:20.320 the other day, like well I didn't want to, It's like, no, 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:22.200 no text me saying or thinking of me. I don't. 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:24.360 I'm not gonna think it. Don't overthink it. I think 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:27.440 people overthink it all the time. And that's how it 0:15:27.520 --> 0:15:29.280 was with my wife, And that's what was so appealing 0:15:29.280 --> 0:15:30.800 was that there was none of that. If we were 0:15:30.800 --> 0:15:32.480 thinking of each other, we would just call each other 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:34.360 because there was no texting at the time, but you 0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:36.280 would just call each other. And it was that simple, 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:39.160 and that's what I loved about it. I was reading 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:41.680 this book last night while Men Love Bitches and it 0:15:41.800 --> 0:15:51.960 was saying, um, and it was some attraction principle number four. 0:15:52.080 --> 0:15:54.960 Sometimes a man deliberately won't call just to see how 0:15:54.960 --> 0:15:58.800 you'll respond. It's like, basically, it says like trying not 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:00.800 to say things such as why haven't you called me? 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:02.280 Or why haven't I heard from you in a week? 0:16:02.400 --> 0:16:04.880 But like to me, I'm like, hey, I think it's 0:16:05.400 --> 0:16:07.360 you know, if we're talking, like yeah, I would like 0:16:07.440 --> 0:16:09.400 to hear from you more. It just feels like a test. 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:11.080 I don't like that. I don't like the testing there. 0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:12.920 And I feel like that's what happened to you with 0:16:13.440 --> 0:16:17.640 a certain person. And then yeah, it's just this very 0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:20.840 interesting Oh. I mean it's like in her mind, in 0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:23.000 his mind, the book is fascinating. I can't wait to 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:25.200 read it. It's really a fascinating So is it a 0:16:25.200 --> 0:16:28.320 book on like telling you how to not be a bit? 0:16:28.640 --> 0:16:31.200 It's basically saying like it's not. So it's like the 0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:32.960 bit it's not about being a bitch. It's like the 0:16:33.240 --> 0:16:37.440 bitch is confident. The bitch is like, I'm enough, like 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:39.880 I need you in my life. Like it's not like, 0:16:40.000 --> 0:16:42.200 but you're still kind, right, you know what I mean. 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:43.800 You're just like, oh, sorry, I'm so busy living my 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:47.840 fabulous life. Right, I'm not good to my phone. I 0:16:47.880 --> 0:16:52.320 swear it every second of every day. I'm sorry I didn't. 0:16:52.400 --> 0:16:55.800 I didn't watch the game. You won great, no idea, 0:16:56.000 --> 0:17:03.480 but yet I watched the entire game. Crypt that you 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:06.160 can't find the text. No, I actually deleted it because 0:17:06.160 --> 0:17:08.320 I deleted his number. Okay, so I'll back up a 0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:11.840 little bit. I made myself available for the like, clearly 0:17:11.920 --> 0:17:15.680 made myself available for this guy. I think at least twice. 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:18.600 You know, I said, these are the days that I'm free. 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:21.120 I said, when I have my free time. Because I 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:25.240 do have a daughter, you know, I split custody. Um, 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:26.720 so when I have my free time, I want to 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:28.920 make the most of it. And I made that clear. 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:31.960 And I said, well I've made and Janna helped me 0:17:32.000 --> 0:17:34.919 with this. I said, well, I've made myself available and 0:17:35.000 --> 0:17:37.240 now I'll just leave it in your court. That's when 0:17:37.280 --> 0:17:39.159 he loved cried that's when he laughed cried. It's like 0:17:40.480 --> 0:17:45.440 I was like block him immediately, Like he was like, hey, 0:17:45.560 --> 0:17:46.879 because you put out there like, well, I've you know, 0:17:46.920 --> 0:17:48.679 I've texted you a few times and whenever, you know, 0:17:48.840 --> 0:17:51.200 when when you want to make your I'm available. But 0:17:51.480 --> 0:17:54.359 moving on. Yeah, he's just he's like toxic. He has 0:17:54.400 --> 0:18:01.920 a toxic person. And I think it took me to 0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:07.200 it's time to go, that's when it's time for repeating. 0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:09.879 But I did repeat it. And the thing is, I 0:18:09.960 --> 0:18:13.480 was somewhat conscious that I'm repeating this cycle and trying 0:18:13.520 --> 0:18:16.280 to think through why am I wanting to go back? 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:18.520 Why am I wanting to this wanting this guy to 0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:21.840 think differently or give me some different response when he's 0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:25.320 clearly being a jerk. And I mean a lot of 0:18:25.359 --> 0:18:28.560 it comes from I've had past toxic relationships and I'm 0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:32.679 still sorting through that and uh, you know then, but 0:18:32.760 --> 0:18:36.320 it was kind of it was a big step in 0:18:36.359 --> 0:18:38.879 healing because I'm like, Okay, this is attractive to me 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:41.960 and you can find fun in it, maybe, but that's 0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:45.080 only if you're willing to self sacrifice and like lose 0:18:45.119 --> 0:18:47.919 your dignity in the process. And I got on too, 0:18:47.960 --> 0:18:50.120 and I was like, it's not worth one fun night, 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:52.520 you know. I don't need to be treated this way 0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:55.040 to have a good time. Yeah, because you can find 0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:59.800 an f boy if you really when that's not going 0:18:59.880 --> 0:19:02.760 to me right exactly. Yeah, And that's the problem with 0:19:02.800 --> 0:19:04.960 the dating app culture too, because like, if you're not 0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:08.399 immediately sending pictures of your genitalia, he's just gonna keep 0:19:08.400 --> 0:19:14.280 swiping until somebody does. Yes. Well, yeah, that's why. Okay, 0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:19.040 there's this one guy terrified. Remember he called me in 0:19:19.040 --> 0:19:21.800 the shower. I was like, you know, and I was 0:19:21.840 --> 0:19:25.680 like that was so disappointing, And I'm like you think, yeah, 0:19:25.800 --> 0:19:27.720 And I'm like, what do you wanting me to do 0:19:27.840 --> 0:19:29.720 right now? Because I ain't doing it? You know what 0:19:29.760 --> 0:19:31.160 I mean? Like you're gonna do you need to wine 0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:33.320 and dine. I'm not that girl you can go to 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:36.439 like Mark said, go go to Tinder or go like 0:19:38.240 --> 0:19:40.000 but I'm just like these guys think that they can 0:19:40.080 --> 0:19:42.399 just call and be like, here's my dick, I'm in 0:19:42.440 --> 0:19:45.000 the shower. What do you want me to like talk 0:19:45.040 --> 0:19:46.919 dirty to you right now? Like my two kids right 0:19:46.960 --> 0:19:50.520 here by talk to you. Yeah. He's just like, what 0:19:50.560 --> 0:19:53.440 are you doing? I'm like, I'm with my children and 0:19:53.600 --> 0:19:56.520 what are you doing. Looks like you're taking a shower, buddy, 0:19:57.800 --> 0:19:59.680 rub a dub dub with the SuDS. And it was 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:01.040 like the middle of the day. It was in the 0:20:01.080 --> 0:20:04.960 middle of the day. And also he thinks you'll find 0:20:05.000 --> 0:20:07.720 it hot. Yeah, I don't see. I don't find that hot. 0:20:07.760 --> 0:20:10.800 I'm like, is you calling me and you're communicating with 0:20:10.840 --> 0:20:12.679 me and you're taking me on a day and saying, hey, 0:20:12.720 --> 0:20:15.080 when can I see you next? That? Because guys get 0:20:15.080 --> 0:20:16.840 it backwards, because a woman in the shower to a 0:20:16.840 --> 0:20:18.879 guy's like the hottest thing in the world, and so 0:20:18.960 --> 0:20:20.960 they think it goes both ways and it does not 0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:28.120 go do That's such a good point. I think there's 0:20:28.160 --> 0:20:31.399 a lot of things like that that don't go both ways. Yes, 0:20:32.080 --> 0:20:38.360 oh man, it's fun. This is fun. Um okay, well, 0:20:38.400 --> 0:20:40.520 I mean we we brought you on. You were sitting 0:20:40.520 --> 0:20:43.080 over there. This is um. This is my friend Krista. 0:20:43.600 --> 0:20:48.240 Welcome to wind down. Hi, Hi, just let's just hold 0:20:48.280 --> 0:20:57.520 some space just um. So some of y'all know how 0:20:57.560 --> 0:21:03.760 I met Krista. Some of you don't. Um hm, I 0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:07.240 have to really carefully step through this track of mud. 0:21:08.200 --> 0:21:12.280 Um you can do it, can I I think so 0:21:12.480 --> 0:21:15.479