1 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:08,160 Speaker 1: Wine Down with Jane Kramer and I heard radio podcast Mark, 2 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: what do we owe the pleasure? Well, I got a 3 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:16,079 Speaker 1: little text this morning that they implied this maybe a 4 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 1: juicy one. I knew it, honestly. What's so funny is 5 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,599 Speaker 1: a little teeny piece of me was like, I bet 6 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:29,360 Speaker 1: you Mark is going to be on today, well, because 7 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: there's some meat on the bones today. And I was like, 8 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 1: I just have a I have a I have this 9 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:38,559 Speaker 1: little inkling inside of me that he's going to be 10 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:41,720 Speaker 1: on today because he loves the juice. Well, I wish 11 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: I could be on more, you guys do These are 12 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 1: weird times and it doesn't work. But I love being 13 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 1: on and I'm happy to be here. What time would 14 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 1: work for you, Mark, Well, I like a little later 15 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 1: because I have my other duties in the morning, you 16 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 1: know with seacrest and yeah that's right. Yeah, but not 17 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: that you're not my top priority because in my mind 18 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:06,839 Speaker 1: and my heart you see. Um, Well, how are you though? Wonderful? 19 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Yeah, life is good. Life is good. 20 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:14,479 Speaker 1: You're good. I'm so good, Mark, are you That's great? Yeah, 21 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,319 Speaker 1: You're in a good place. I'm in I'm in the 22 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:22,480 Speaker 1: best place. I think i've ever been in ever. Ever, 23 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 1: that's fantastic. Can a friend at test it? Yeah, you 24 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:30,319 Speaker 1: say so, I'd say so for sure. So all of 25 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 1: the things that you're doing to become the best you possible, 26 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 1: you're seeing you're seeing the effects of that. Yeah, and 27 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:43,160 Speaker 1: it's not attached to a he yes, and that's a 28 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: big deal. I see I see your Instagram and it 29 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:50,320 Speaker 1: looks like things are going fantastic. Yeah, I have. I'm 30 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:58,080 Speaker 1: I'm so, I'm good. I'm good. I swear, No, it's good. 31 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 1: I was. I was talking about that last week. It's 32 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 1: just like I like this, this version. I like this season. 33 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna this is going to continue fantastic for how 34 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:12,360 Speaker 1: much longer, just indefinitely and comes around, It comes around. No, 35 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: I mean this is a I think again. You go 36 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,080 Speaker 1: through things, you pass mountains, and you look at the 37 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:21,119 Speaker 1: mountain and go, wow, I'm so grateful that all these 38 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 1: things happen, because now I see the new version, the 39 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 1: healed version, and that's you just take you of course, 40 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,960 Speaker 1: like you might slide back into things because of pass 41 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,440 Speaker 1: but then you remember the work and everything, and I 42 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:36,959 Speaker 1: think that's just what you feel. Yah, you'll be better 43 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,359 Speaker 1: equipped to deal with it when you do, and you'll 44 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,360 Speaker 1: see it coming. When you start to slip into those things, 45 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 1: that's great. You gotta fall in love with yourself. Now 46 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,400 Speaker 1: is the time when the guy slip in. When I'm like, 47 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,480 Speaker 1: when you're good, yeah, well, and now, Mark, you'd be 48 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,079 Speaker 1: so proud of me, like my strong boundaries that I have. 49 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,400 Speaker 1: Like I've kicked guys out. I've said like I need 50 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,959 Speaker 1: you to leave like I want to. Yeah. I kicked 51 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 1: to due out and said I wanted to be alone. 52 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:03,399 Speaker 1: I was like, guys, that's awesome. It's like, this is amazing, 53 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,160 Speaker 1: But I did it really nice. They didn't like it, 54 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,519 Speaker 1: even though it was I was nice, but that's not 55 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: I'm like, I want to be alone. Yeah, And they 56 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,920 Speaker 1: have to deal with that, And honestly, that just makes 57 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,639 Speaker 1: them desire you more, doesn't it. I mean that just 58 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,080 Speaker 1: it's like showing up in a sold out movie. You're like, 59 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:20,080 Speaker 1: I gotta see that movie. He's like, I'm seeing that now. Yeah. 60 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 1: It was. I was talking to Julie actually the other 61 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: day because I had gone on this day and I 62 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,800 Speaker 1: just realized it wasn't gonna work out right. It was 63 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 1: just some things just didn't weren't aligning, and um, there's 64 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,280 Speaker 1: no point, especially at the age that I'm into, to 65 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:37,200 Speaker 1: continue on when it's like I already know it's not 66 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: gonna work. So I instead of what old Jana would 67 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,640 Speaker 1: do is like either a if I if I ghosted, no, 68 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: I would just text and then just the text would 69 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,040 Speaker 1: probably slowly just disappeared until they got the hint. But 70 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm gonna not text, and I'm going to 71 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 1: pick up the phone and I'm gonna call. Right So 72 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 1: I call this person and I'm like, hey, I just 73 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 1: I want to be honest with where I'm at because 74 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,960 Speaker 1: we were spo hang out again, have another date, and 75 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 1: I was like I just realized that, um, you know, 76 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 1: there's just some things and I don't see this romantically 77 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:12,920 Speaker 1: moving on and just like so open, so honest, and 78 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 1: then you know, he was like oh yeah, yeah, like 79 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,880 Speaker 1: you know, I get that h totally. But then like 80 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 1: the next day calls and goes, well, do you think 81 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,360 Speaker 1: maybe we could try again? And I'm like, dude, don't 82 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 1: make me do it again, you know, like I was like, 83 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:26,839 Speaker 1: you're a heart that was for me to do it 84 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 1: the first time. So then when he called back and 85 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:32,240 Speaker 1: said that. I was like, He's like, well, just think 86 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 1: about it, and I'm like okay, because I'm like, because 87 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,840 Speaker 1: I didn't want to disappoint again, right, it was so 88 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:39,400 Speaker 1: hard for me to do it in the first place. 89 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 1: At that point, I think you might be justified and 90 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: kind of ghosting at that point you think, Okay, that's 91 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 1: what I was going to ask, because I'm like, now, 92 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,479 Speaker 1: I'm like, I already freaking told you I wasn't really interested, 93 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:51,839 Speaker 1: and like now you've you've called, and I'm like, how 94 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,560 Speaker 1: how do I spell it out again? Yeah? I think 95 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 1: I think he's right. I think you can ghost okay 96 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 1: or just okay. Yeah, I mean you've already said your 97 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 1: peace and him like, keep pushing is not going to 98 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:07,479 Speaker 1: do any good. So but I'm proud of you. Such 99 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 1: a guy though, such a guy to be like, you know, 100 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,520 Speaker 1: she didn't mean it. You know what, She's had a 101 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:16,039 Speaker 1: couple of days without me. She probably misses me, right, 102 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 1: But before um, yeah, no, Krista come here. But before 103 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 1: she comes in, Um, I want to tell you guys 104 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 1: about Dime. I love Dimes so much. Um. It's vegan, 105 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 1: it's clean, cruelty free, it's affordable, luxury it's great for 106 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,400 Speaker 1: all skin types. So I use the hyaluronic acid serum. 107 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:41,159 Speaker 1: It's amazing. Um, the TVT cream, Catherine, you like that one. Yeah, 108 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,000 Speaker 1: that one's really good. Um. They're Um, I know it's 109 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 1: not summer anymore. It's technically summer right right now. But 110 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,360 Speaker 1: their sunscreen is amazing. But all of their products are 111 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 1: so good. Um, and their their matte lips too are awesome. 112 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:57,040 Speaker 1: And if you have short eyelashes, try their eyelash serum 113 00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 1: because it'll make your eyelashes grow so long. All right, 114 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,960 Speaker 1: Chris is sorry. Um, what we're gonna say, Oh, I 115 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,480 Speaker 1: was gonna say, Um, you do it the same way. Well, 116 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 1: what I would do is you do it the same 117 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,800 Speaker 1: way you did the first time, reiterate, and then if 118 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 1: they come back again, then that's when you go, I 119 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,360 Speaker 1: don't do anything more than twice anymore. I'm done with 120 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,919 Speaker 1: asking for like major things more than twice. I'm done. 121 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:22,960 Speaker 1: I'm done with that because if you don't hear me 122 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:26,040 Speaker 1: by the second time, like you're clearly not going to 123 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 1: hear me. So that's interesting, walk away and move on. 124 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:32,760 Speaker 1: That's been a rule that I've kind of lived by. Um. Really, 125 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,640 Speaker 1: probably in the past year and a half, two years. Yeah, no, 126 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 1: I like that. It's almost I have to tell you 127 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,839 Speaker 1: just one more thing that just really goes along the 128 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,880 Speaker 1: same line. It's like, I don't think guys are used 129 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 1: to it's not that they're used to girls breaking up 130 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 1: with them, or maybe I don't know that the dude 131 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 1: that this one dude, but or two of them now. 132 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:55,679 Speaker 1: But the one way that I asked to leave Mark, 133 00:06:56,360 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 1: I said, um, I was like, He's like, I just 134 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,080 Speaker 1: kind of sense and that you you know, you you're 135 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 1: in a mood. I was like, well, no, I realized 136 00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 1: I just want to be alone. And and so I'm 137 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 1: going to ask you. He's like, do you want me 138 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 1: to leave? He's a mood, but you know, he gets 139 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 1: like I'm sensing your energy or whatever. And I'm like 140 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,280 Speaker 1: and I said, yeah, I want to be alone. And 141 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,640 Speaker 1: and so he's like, do you want me to leave? 142 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 1: And I was like I do. And I'm so sorry. 143 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: I just like really want to be alone? Are right? Right? What? 144 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 1: I but it's new for me? Right, So like I 145 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 1: genuinely felt that. I mean, the guy flew from Australia. 146 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 1: I think you're sorry. It was kind of you can 147 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 1: be sorry for that, but again it wasn't you know, 148 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 1: I'm like, right, let me drop you off at the 149 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 1: quantistin I felt bad, but at the same time like yeah, 150 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 1: like I want to be alone and I'm realizing this 151 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 1: isn't you know, this isn't a thing. And but then 152 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,320 Speaker 1: the worst part of it was and just like the 153 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: last conversation I had, twenty minutes later, I still don't 154 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: hear the door shut, you know. So then he comes 155 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 1: back in my room and was like, so, do you 156 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 1: really want me to leave? Do you want me to 157 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,880 Speaker 1: get an uber? And I was just like again, like 158 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 1: do you know how do you know how hard this 159 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: is for me? To be honest? Like why do you 160 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:29,000 Speaker 1: do this? It just once? And then I was like, yes, please, 161 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 1: thank you from now on off janis something one time 162 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 1: you get one time because it's like and again, because 163 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 1: it's hard for me to even do that, you know, 164 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 1: like you know me, I would just like I would 165 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 1: lie or I would say like I don't know. So 166 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:49,319 Speaker 1: like Christo was on a day the other day, which one, 167 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 1: and she texted me and she goes, oh gosh, I 168 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,959 Speaker 1: just don't think this is gonna work. And I'm like, 169 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: do you want me to call you crying, like I 170 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:58,480 Speaker 1: can be like do do I need to be like 171 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,439 Speaker 1: do you meet or rescuer? But then there's something about 172 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 1: that I didn't by the way, you didn't know. You're like, 173 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 1: I'm gonna sit down and I'm gonna yeah. I mean, 174 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 1: it was a good conversation. But um, immediately when I 175 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:14,120 Speaker 1: saw this guy, I was like, I'm not attracted to you, 176 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 1: and he was. He looked older in person, he was 177 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:23,079 Speaker 1: super skinny. I should probably not say, oh hey, really 178 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:25,120 Speaker 1: and truly like he didn't. He was skinnier than he 179 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,680 Speaker 1: looked in his photos. His age showed a little more, 180 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:29,400 Speaker 1: and I was just kind of like me. And he 181 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:33,280 Speaker 1: even described himself as an acquired taste, and I was like, 182 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 1: I don't know if I could acquire that taste. But 183 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:40,080 Speaker 1: it was good conversation and I didn't need to rescue, 184 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,360 Speaker 1: but I was happy to have that backup. I look 185 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:45,439 Speaker 1: at my phone and there's miscalls from Janna. Okay, I'm okay. 186 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,960 Speaker 1: So some women set that up. They say, look, you 187 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,440 Speaker 1: call me eight fifteen and nine. I'm seeing this guy. 188 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:52,320 Speaker 1: You call me, and then you have the option you 189 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,079 Speaker 1: can say, oh, it's just my friend. Jann, Everything's fine. 190 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,320 Speaker 1: You can say what, oh my god, an emergency. I 191 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 1: gotta go that way. It's up to you. Here's the 192 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:00,440 Speaker 1: question that I would love to ask mar would you 193 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:03,800 Speaker 1: want to know like if I mean again, like you, 194 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,600 Speaker 1: I don't even married for a million years now, but 195 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:11,760 Speaker 1: if you were twenty a couple of weeks ago, thank you, congrats, 196 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:14,320 Speaker 1: that's amazing. But if you were to come back into 197 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:19,160 Speaker 1: the dating world, would you want someone to tell you 198 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,280 Speaker 1: right up front? Do you need a softer like what 199 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:22,800 Speaker 1: do you think a guy wants to do you think 200 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 1: they need a softer like, um, a softer exit. Do 201 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:30,320 Speaker 1: you think because I personally don't like ghosting, that's it 202 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:34,120 Speaker 1: doesn't feel good on the receiving end. Yeah, I think 203 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,720 Speaker 1: as hard as it would be because men and their egos. 204 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 1: You know, everyone wants to protect the mail ego and 205 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 1: you have to kind of stroke it and you have 206 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,480 Speaker 1: to be careful with it. But I think the splash 207 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,920 Speaker 1: of cold water is the best way to do it. 208 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 1: I think that way there's no hope for me because 209 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:49,719 Speaker 1: if you soften it, I'm going to be like, well 210 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 1: she did say this that one time, like one sentence 211 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,160 Speaker 1: you said, and think there's hope. So if you really 212 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 1: just cut it off, then I know, and it's gonna 213 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,360 Speaker 1: be It's gonna suck for twenty four hours, but then 214 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:04,160 Speaker 1: it teas you to move on. So can we talk 215 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:08,440 Speaker 1: about when it is appropriate to ghost? Because I know 216 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:11,520 Speaker 1: I have recently ghosted a guy, partially because he kind 217 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:18,080 Speaker 1: of ghosted me. But Jannah, are you are you inquiring 218 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:22,080 Speaker 1: about who the person I should ghost? No? No, I'm 219 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 1: just asking for a friend following that one. Um, well, 220 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,480 Speaker 1: yes and no, but I was more asking about one 221 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,400 Speaker 1: of my people. I have one thousand percent think you 222 00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:39,120 Speaker 1: should I have, and you think I should go through 223 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 1: my dude? Yes, but again they're rude and different everybody. 224 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:49,000 Speaker 1: This just sounds exhausting, right. I saw this, Um, I 225 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,440 Speaker 1: have to pull this up because I thought it was 226 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:53,200 Speaker 1: so funny, and I'll get back to the ghosting. But 227 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,199 Speaker 1: I saw this thing and said, dating in this generation 228 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,680 Speaker 1: is no. I don't want to hang out with you 229 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,560 Speaker 1: from No. I don't want to flirt on Snapchat while 230 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:04,920 Speaker 1: you say sexual things to me before you've even met me. 231 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,800 Speaker 1: I want to be picked up, taken on a date, 232 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,680 Speaker 1: and I want the doors open from me. Damn. Okay, 233 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:11,440 Speaker 1: I'm glad you read that, because that was one of 234 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 1: the things that that was like a hard line that 235 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 1: I drew with this guy. Is he's asking me for pictures, 236 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:20,080 Speaker 1: like like you know, all the way pictures, and I 237 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 1: was and I had to tell him, well, I had 238 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,959 Speaker 1: to tell him twice and I wasn't going to tell 239 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:29,400 Speaker 1: him again. And I said, frankly, I said, if you're 240 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,120 Speaker 1: going to see me naked, it's going to be in person. 241 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 1: And I feel like that should just be said once 242 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,480 Speaker 1: time out. Do you know what? He responds back with, 243 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,200 Speaker 1: I don't even want so just she like speaks your truth. 244 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:43,679 Speaker 1: Cry face, cry laugh face, cry laugh face. I'm like 245 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,640 Speaker 1: getting hot inside right now thinking about it. But I'm 246 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:52,439 Speaker 1: never dating. I'm like seriously, like, okay, that's just wrong. 247 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,800 Speaker 1: What you said is wonderful. If I'm the guy and 248 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:57,520 Speaker 1: you say it's going to be in person, I'm like, 249 00:12:57,559 --> 00:13:01,199 Speaker 1: oh great, Like she's open that possible reality that could happen. 250 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,800 Speaker 1: That's so exciting. Yeah, well, clearly this guy just wanted 251 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 1: to jack with me because moving forward well or something, 252 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 1: you're out of there, because moving forward it's it's instant gratification. 253 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,200 Speaker 1: Everything has to be right now, right, now, right now, 254 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,959 Speaker 1: right now, right, So it ultimately lead me. And this 255 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:36,520 Speaker 1: is where I had the weak moment, and I texted 256 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,200 Speaker 1: him again and I was like, and I was like, 257 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 1: do not text him, but I did. She did. Daddy 258 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:57,760 Speaker 1: Mark is going to help us men today and the 259 00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:01,080 Speaker 1: younger generation is so frustrating just ask a woman out. 260 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:05,920 Speaker 1: They're so scared to do that. Yeah, I get it. 261 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,520 Speaker 1: I fear rejection to rejection sucks. I get it. But 262 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:10,840 Speaker 1: at some point somebody's got to ask somebody out. You 263 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,319 Speaker 1: can't just hang out the rest of your life. Do 264 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,679 Speaker 1: you want the girl to ask or do they want 265 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:18,040 Speaker 1: the girl totally? I don't think so. I don't that's 266 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 1: a good question. Probably not. I think they just want 267 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,400 Speaker 1: to keep it, keep it great, keep it as as 268 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 1: undefined as possible. Well, and so here's the here's that 269 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:28,120 Speaker 1: part that's frustrating. And so I had someone I was like, 270 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,240 Speaker 1: I'm he if he wants to talk to me, he 271 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:31,880 Speaker 1: can reach out to me. I never reached out once 272 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:33,440 Speaker 1: to him. I was just because I'm like, you know what, 273 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,520 Speaker 1: I'm sure he has lots of women throwing himself at 274 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:40,920 Speaker 1: him or throwing themselves at him. And so then he 275 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,760 Speaker 1: said to me, why don't you ever reach out to me? 276 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:44,640 Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, I figured, you know, if you 277 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,680 Speaker 1: want to talk to me, you're gonna You're gonna text me. 278 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:48,520 Speaker 1: And he's like, well, I want to hear from you. 279 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:50,240 Speaker 1: He's like, I want you to reach out, but then 280 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:53,120 Speaker 1: when I reach out, it's not then reciprocated. So then 281 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:57,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, this is what I'm talking about. This is 282 00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:00,160 Speaker 1: what's so annoying with guys like they it's like, I 283 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 1: don't understand. Do you know what I mean? I see 284 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 1: to me, it's simple, but apparently it's not to other guys, 285 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:09,080 Speaker 1: because yeah, I would want to hear from you, and 286 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,760 Speaker 1: if I did, I'd be excited to respond. That's why 287 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:15,600 Speaker 1: I'm just like, no more games. The next It's like, 288 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,360 Speaker 1: it's just if you think of me, like someone said 289 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:20,320 Speaker 1: the other day, like well I didn't want to, It's like, no, 290 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,200 Speaker 1: no text me saying or thinking of me. I don't. 291 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,360 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna think it. Don't overthink it. I think 292 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: people overthink it all the time. And that's how it 293 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,280 Speaker 1: was with my wife, And that's what was so appealing 294 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 1: was that there was none of that. If we were 295 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,480 Speaker 1: thinking of each other, we would just call each other 296 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 1: because there was no texting at the time, but you 297 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 1: would just call each other. And it was that simple, 298 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 1: and that's what I loved about it. I was reading 299 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:41,680 Speaker 1: this book last night while Men Love Bitches and it 300 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:51,960 Speaker 1: was saying, um, and it was some attraction principle number four. 301 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 1: Sometimes a man deliberately won't call just to see how 302 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:58,800 Speaker 1: you'll respond. It's like, basically, it says like trying not 303 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,800 Speaker 1: to say things such as why haven't you called me? 304 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:02,280 Speaker 1: Or why haven't I heard from you in a week? 305 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,880 Speaker 1: But like to me, I'm like, hey, I think it's 306 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 1: you know, if we're talking, like yeah, I would like 307 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,400 Speaker 1: to hear from you more. It just feels like a test. 308 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,080 Speaker 1: I don't like that. I don't like the testing there. 309 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,920 Speaker 1: And I feel like that's what happened to you with 310 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:17,640 Speaker 1: a certain person. And then yeah, it's just this very 311 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,840 Speaker 1: interesting Oh. I mean it's like in her mind, in 312 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 1: his mind, the book is fascinating. I can't wait to 313 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,200 Speaker 1: read it. It's really a fascinating So is it a 314 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 1: book on like telling you how to not be a bit? 315 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 1: It's basically saying like it's not. So it's like the 316 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 1: bit it's not about being a bitch. It's like the 317 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:37,440 Speaker 1: bitch is confident. The bitch is like, I'm enough, like 318 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,880 Speaker 1: I need you in my life. Like it's not like, 319 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,200 Speaker 1: but you're still kind, right, you know what I mean. 320 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,800 Speaker 1: You're just like, oh, sorry, I'm so busy living my 321 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 1: fabulous life. Right, I'm not good to my phone. I 322 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:52,320 Speaker 1: swear it every second of every day. I'm sorry I didn't. 323 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,800 Speaker 1: I didn't watch the game. You won great, no idea, 324 00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:03,480 Speaker 1: but yet I watched the entire game. Crypt that you 325 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:06,160 Speaker 1: can't find the text. No, I actually deleted it because 326 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:08,320 Speaker 1: I deleted his number. Okay, so I'll back up a 327 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:11,840 Speaker 1: little bit. I made myself available for the like, clearly 328 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:15,680 Speaker 1: made myself available for this guy. I think at least twice. 329 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,600 Speaker 1: You know, I said, these are the days that I'm free. 330 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,120 Speaker 1: I said, when I have my free time. Because I 331 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:25,240 Speaker 1: do have a daughter, you know, I split custody. Um, 332 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,720 Speaker 1: so when I have my free time, I want to 333 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,920 Speaker 1: make the most of it. And I made that clear. 334 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:31,960 Speaker 1: And I said, well I've made and Janna helped me 335 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,919 Speaker 1: with this. I said, well, I've made myself available and 336 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,240 Speaker 1: now I'll just leave it in your court. That's when 337 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,159 Speaker 1: he loved cried that's when he laughed cried. It's like 338 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:45,440 Speaker 1: I was like block him immediately, Like he was like, hey, 339 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:46,879 Speaker 1: because you put out there like, well, I've you know, 340 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:48,679 Speaker 1: I've texted you a few times and whenever, you know, 341 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,200 Speaker 1: when when you want to make your I'm available. But 342 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,359 Speaker 1: moving on. Yeah, he's just he's like toxic. He has 343 00:17:54,400 --> 00:18:01,920 Speaker 1: a toxic person. And I think it took me to 344 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,200 Speaker 1: it's time to go, that's when it's time for repeating. 345 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,879 Speaker 1: But I did repeat it. And the thing is, I 346 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:13,480 Speaker 1: was somewhat conscious that I'm repeating this cycle and trying 347 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 1: to think through why am I wanting to go back? 348 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,520 Speaker 1: Why am I wanting to this wanting this guy to 349 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,840 Speaker 1: think differently or give me some different response when he's 350 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:25,320 Speaker 1: clearly being a jerk. And I mean a lot of 351 00:18:25,359 --> 00:18:28,560 Speaker 1: it comes from I've had past toxic relationships and I'm 352 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:32,679 Speaker 1: still sorting through that and uh, you know then, but 353 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 1: it was kind of it was a big step in 354 00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:38,879 Speaker 1: healing because I'm like, Okay, this is attractive to me 355 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,960 Speaker 1: and you can find fun in it, maybe, but that's 356 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,080 Speaker 1: only if you're willing to self sacrifice and like lose 357 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:47,919 Speaker 1: your dignity in the process. And I got on too, 358 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,120 Speaker 1: and I was like, it's not worth one fun night, 359 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,520 Speaker 1: you know. I don't need to be treated this way 360 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,040 Speaker 1: to have a good time. Yeah, because you can find 361 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:59,800 Speaker 1: an f boy if you really when that's not going 362 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:02,760 Speaker 1: to me right exactly. Yeah, And that's the problem with 363 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,960 Speaker 1: the dating app culture too, because like, if you're not 364 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:08,399 Speaker 1: immediately sending pictures of your genitalia, he's just gonna keep 365 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:14,280 Speaker 1: swiping until somebody does. Yes. Well, yeah, that's why. Okay, 366 00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:19,040 Speaker 1: there's this one guy terrified. Remember he called me in 367 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:21,800 Speaker 1: the shower. I was like, you know, and I was 368 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:25,680 Speaker 1: like that was so disappointing, And I'm like you think, yeah, 369 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,720 Speaker 1: And I'm like, what do you wanting me to do 370 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:29,720 Speaker 1: right now? Because I ain't doing it? You know what 371 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:31,160 Speaker 1: I mean? Like you're gonna do you need to wine 372 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 1: and dine. I'm not that girl you can go to 373 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,439 Speaker 1: like Mark said, go go to Tinder or go like 374 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 1: but I'm just like these guys think that they can 375 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,399 Speaker 1: just call and be like, here's my dick, I'm in 376 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,000 Speaker 1: the shower. What do you want me to like talk 377 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,919 Speaker 1: dirty to you right now? Like my two kids right 378 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 1: here by talk to you. Yeah. He's just like, what 379 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,440 Speaker 1: are you doing? I'm like, I'm with my children and 380 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,520 Speaker 1: what are you doing. Looks like you're taking a shower, buddy, 381 00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:59,680 Speaker 1: rub a dub dub with the SuDS. And it was 382 00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,040 Speaker 1: like the middle of the day. It was in the 383 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,960 Speaker 1: middle of the day. And also he thinks you'll find 384 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,720 Speaker 1: it hot. Yeah, I don't see. I don't find that hot. 385 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,800 Speaker 1: I'm like, is you calling me and you're communicating with 386 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,679 Speaker 1: me and you're taking me on a day and saying, hey, 387 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,080 Speaker 1: when can I see you next? That? Because guys get 388 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,840 Speaker 1: it backwards, because a woman in the shower to a 389 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,879 Speaker 1: guy's like the hottest thing in the world, and so 390 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,960 Speaker 1: they think it goes both ways and it does not 391 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:28,120 Speaker 1: go do That's such a good point. I think there's 392 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:31,399 Speaker 1: a lot of things like that that don't go both ways. Yes, 393 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:38,360 Speaker 1: oh man, it's fun. This is fun. Um okay, well, 394 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,520 Speaker 1: I mean we we brought you on. You were sitting 395 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,080 Speaker 1: over there. This is um. This is my friend Krista. 396 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:48,240 Speaker 1: Welcome to wind down. Hi, Hi, just let's just hold 397 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:57,520 Speaker 1: some space just um. So some of y'all know how 398 00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:03,760 Speaker 1: I met Krista. Some of you don't. Um hm, I 399 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,240 Speaker 1: have to really carefully step through this track of mud. 400 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:12,280 Speaker 1: Um you can do it, can I I think so 401 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:15,479 Speaker 1: you've said it before. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Um. So 402 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:19,560 Speaker 1: we met through someone I was dating and someone that 403 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:25,440 Speaker 1: she was married to, um, the same person. This not 404 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:29,199 Speaker 1: at the same time, not at the same time. So 405 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:33,439 Speaker 1: she was married to someone for a long time and 406 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:37,440 Speaker 1: he was uh. And then later on I met him 407 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,760 Speaker 1: and he was a boyfriend for a for a minute. UM. 408 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,080 Speaker 1: And I actually reached out to her because I was 409 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:48,320 Speaker 1: started to hear some things and and as a mother 410 00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:54,239 Speaker 1: who was around also her daughter at the time, I 411 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,639 Speaker 1: really wanted to because Okay, I started to think about it, 412 00:21:56,640 --> 00:22:02,640 Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, I have I don't know. I mean, 413 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:04,720 Speaker 1: myke to my knowledge, is not dating anyone yet. But 414 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,800 Speaker 1: when he does date someone, I would love to sit 415 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:10,320 Speaker 1: down with that person if they're in a serious relationship, 416 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:14,359 Speaker 1: just to like they're they're around my children, They're gonna 417 00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:17,160 Speaker 1: be loving on my children, and I personally would want that, right, 418 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:22,119 Speaker 1: I would want to have that connection with um. And 419 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:24,639 Speaker 1: I'm not asking to be friends, but like just like, hey, 420 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,119 Speaker 1: you know, my kids are my life, and you know, 421 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,439 Speaker 1: let's let's let's set some boundaries up right of what 422 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,000 Speaker 1: this is going to kind of look like and maybe 423 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,560 Speaker 1: that's overstepping. I don't know, Cat, what do you think 424 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:37,080 Speaker 1: on that? Like, I definitely think you should have that conversation. Yeah, 425 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:40,320 Speaker 1: I also think that there's an appropriate time for that conversation. Yes, 426 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:44,399 Speaker 1: And so Catherine was sitting with me actually when I 427 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:48,040 Speaker 1: asked for permission to talk to the ex wife who 428 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,560 Speaker 1: is now Krista Um, because there was just a few 429 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,840 Speaker 1: things that were flagged and I was like, man, I 430 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:57,919 Speaker 1: would love to hear her story, and also, as a 431 00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,240 Speaker 1: mom who's around her child, well, I want her to 432 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,679 Speaker 1: know that like I'm a good mom and I you know, 433 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,800 Speaker 1: I just like, let's just have like some you know, 434 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:08,560 Speaker 1: face to face. So I ended up d mning her 435 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:12,000 Speaker 1: and was like, hey, I know you know, and I 436 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,080 Speaker 1: would love to sit down with you and at the time, 437 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,919 Speaker 1: I'll let you speak on your feelings with that um 438 00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:23,080 Speaker 1: excuse me. Yeah, at the time, I mean, I'll be 439 00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:26,199 Speaker 1: perfectly honest, I was like, you you hated me? Well, no, 440 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,240 Speaker 1: I did not ever hate you. I did not ever 441 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:31,960 Speaker 1: hate you or have anything against you, because like you're 442 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:36,439 Speaker 1: I didn't know you, you know. Um. But at the 443 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:39,440 Speaker 1: time I was like, so it all kind of became 444 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 1: very public pretty quickly, and I was like, I don't 445 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,920 Speaker 1: want to be involved in that, Like I know that 446 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:51,280 Speaker 1: this is it feels like it's moving quickly between her 447 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:57,440 Speaker 1: and the X um excuse me, And I was. I honestly, 448 00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:58,920 Speaker 1: I was not in the space. I was like, I can't, 449 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,440 Speaker 1: I can't do this. I'm not ready to sit down 450 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:08,320 Speaker 1: with the first person that my ex dates after our divorce. Hair, 451 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,480 Speaker 1: when you got the notification on your phone that says 452 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:14,480 Speaker 1: you have a d M frommer, what was your initial response? 453 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:20,200 Speaker 1: And this is why market here. Um, let's see, I'm 454 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,000 Speaker 1: trying to remember no judgment because now we're like soul sisters, 455 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:28,520 Speaker 1: so we can we can you know, I'm honestly trying 456 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,840 Speaker 1: to remember, um, because they were like there were already 457 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,840 Speaker 1: swirlings of talk in the community, because I mean we 458 00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:39,560 Speaker 1: live in a pretty tight knit place, and there was 459 00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 1: already kind of swirling and people were asking, oh my gosh, 460 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,639 Speaker 1: did you see X y Z? And I was like, oh, God, 461 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,360 Speaker 1: like I just don't. I don't want to be involved 462 00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:50,680 Speaker 1: in this. Sorry, that must have really thought it, okay, um, 463 00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:54,720 Speaker 1: because here I am no putting myself in the middle literally, 464 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,119 Speaker 1: um no. But I was just and I was in 465 00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:02,119 Speaker 1: a new relationship as well, and I just felt like 466 00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:06,200 Speaker 1: I didn't have the space. But my initial reaction was great, 467 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:09,800 Speaker 1: now she's messaging me, what am I gonna like? Great? 468 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,239 Speaker 1: Now I need to read this and sit with it 469 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:15,280 Speaker 1: and figure out how to respond. And if you remember Janna, 470 00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:18,920 Speaker 1: my responses were very short because I was like, and 471 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 1: it was with Katherine, I was very short, very clear, 472 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:28,480 Speaker 1: not doing this, and she was very respectful about it. Um. Yeah, 473 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,760 Speaker 1: And I basically had asked you, um, and you're like, 474 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:35,320 Speaker 1: just your advice to me was just, um, don't ignore 475 00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:39,800 Speaker 1: what people. I said. If you've heard warnings, go ahead 476 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 1: and heed those warnings. And that's all I'm gonna say. 477 00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:44,359 Speaker 1: And so she was very respectful, and then we were 478 00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:48,720 Speaker 1: gonna actually meet, But then I got covid. Was that Christmas? 479 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:52,560 Speaker 1: Was that around the same time, because then you're like, 480 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,920 Speaker 1: you know, I thought about it, Yeah, she thought about it, 481 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:57,160 Speaker 1: and you're like, yeah, let's get a drink. But then 482 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:58,639 Speaker 1: when when we were going to get a drink, I 483 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,760 Speaker 1: had to cancel, um because I got I got COVID. 484 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:03,520 Speaker 1: And then when I took that as a sign, I 485 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,879 Speaker 1: was like, all right, Nope, not doing it, because I 486 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:09,280 Speaker 1: mean it was literally like hours before we were supposed 487 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 1: to meet, and I was like, no, that's a sign 488 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:27,240 Speaker 1: I'm staying out. We're dreading it. Even before she got 489 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,560 Speaker 1: the you got the call about the COVID. No, I 490 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,600 Speaker 1: wasn't dreading it. Maybe uneasy, Yeah, I was just kind 491 00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:34,800 Speaker 1: of anxious and like, I don't really know what I'm 492 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:38,200 Speaker 1: stepping into. Um. I did have a feeling that jan 493 00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:40,320 Speaker 1: is a good person, Like I didn't like I said, 494 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:42,919 Speaker 1: I didn't have anything against her, and I felt for 495 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,119 Speaker 1: her honestly, and I wanted to step it, like my 496 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,199 Speaker 1: heart wanted to step in and save her, you know, 497 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:53,880 Speaker 1: prevent a lot of hurt. But I also knew that 498 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:59,720 Speaker 1: I knew the phase of love bombing that probably was 499 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:02,159 Speaker 1: going on, and I was like, I'm not going to 500 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,359 Speaker 1: be able to convince her of anything. I just didn't 501 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,919 Speaker 1: feel like it was my place at the time. I didn't. 502 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,240 Speaker 1: I just felt like, why, it's not my responsibility to 503 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:13,560 Speaker 1: go save every person that he dates. What I think 504 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:16,560 Speaker 1: the thing that we had when we ended up and 505 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: we will get to there. But with the piece that 506 00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:21,520 Speaker 1: I got from you, which you were like, I didn't 507 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,040 Speaker 1: I didn't think you'd believe me, and that hit my 508 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,000 Speaker 1: Like I said, I don't think that it would have 509 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,320 Speaker 1: been received. Well, yeah, because it's true. I probably would 510 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,160 Speaker 1: have gone back and have been said and then this 511 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,320 Speaker 1: person would have said, oh, X, Y and Z, and 512 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,040 Speaker 1: so I wouldn't have believed her, and like to not 513 00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:37,680 Speaker 1: feel believed as a woman in what they went through 514 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:42,359 Speaker 1: is is hurtful. It's it's it's hard. That's very true. 515 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:45,520 Speaker 1: That's that's a really good way to say that. The 516 00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:48,000 Speaker 1: other way is that, yeah, I didn't want to be 517 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:51,800 Speaker 1: I didn't want to speak my truth and then be 518 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,760 Speaker 1: just passed over again or not listen to. Like that's 519 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,480 Speaker 1: seriously one of my biggest pet peeves is to not 520 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,680 Speaker 1: be listened to and not be heard. But wasn't the 521 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,600 Speaker 1: fact that Janet was reaching out to you and asking 522 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:04,679 Speaker 1: these questions a sign that she was kind of looking 523 00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:07,200 Speaker 1: for this information and that she was going to believe you, 524 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:09,000 Speaker 1: Because if she just had hard eyes it was happy 525 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:10,480 Speaker 1: as can be, she wouldn't have been sending you that 526 00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:12,480 Speaker 1: d M. Probably well sure, but again I'll go back 527 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:15,200 Speaker 1: to it's not my responsibility to fix every exfit or 528 00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:18,119 Speaker 1: every person that he dates. That was just where I 529 00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:24,720 Speaker 1: had to draw my own personal boundary. So yeah, and 530 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,280 Speaker 1: you were definitely not ready to hear it. Well, that's 531 00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:30,920 Speaker 1: the thing. And as because you've admitted now, right, And 532 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:33,080 Speaker 1: I told her, And if I would have heard that, 533 00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:37,280 Speaker 1: I would have I would have believed the other side. Yeah, 534 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,200 Speaker 1: but then why were you reaching out? It seems like 535 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:42,000 Speaker 1: you were seeing problematic behavior, or at least behavior there 536 00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:47,400 Speaker 1: was true, Mark, That's such a good question. Um, it 537 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:49,480 Speaker 1: really is. And that is I think that's a hard 538 00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 1: question for anyone to answer. It's like she I believe 539 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:56,840 Speaker 1: in the goodness, and I believe in people's redemption stories, 540 00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:58,800 Speaker 1: and I believe in what people say, and I believe 541 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:02,720 Speaker 1: in what I believe in growth and people because I've 542 00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:07,440 Speaker 1: experienced that along. I've done that too. And so her version, 543 00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:11,760 Speaker 1: for example, whoever gets my ex is going to I, 544 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:18,840 Speaker 1: I pray have a different version, right, So her experience 545 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:22,160 Speaker 1: might not be my experience, and I can I can 546 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,120 Speaker 1: hear some of the things like just like when my 547 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:27,200 Speaker 1: ex starts dating someone, if I was to sit down 548 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,160 Speaker 1: with them, we might we might And I again, I 549 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:34,520 Speaker 1: pray we have polar opposite experiences and so and just 550 00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:36,480 Speaker 1: like you are in the best place now, people have 551 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 1: dated you in the past, dated a different you know, 552 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,600 Speaker 1: but now it's it's different. So I think it's not 553 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 1: that I wouldn't have believed your I would have been like, 554 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,360 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry you experienced that. That's not my reality. 555 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,239 Speaker 1: That's what the difference would have been. So it's like, 556 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:55,840 Speaker 1: but I still think deep down you knew that it 557 00:29:55,920 --> 00:30:00,680 Speaker 1: was partly your reality for sure, but to believe. Yeah, 558 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:03,920 Speaker 1: I was so clinging onto like it was like I was, 559 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,680 Speaker 1: I was. It was a week before Christmas, and like 560 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,200 Speaker 1: my friend, I was like, I was just clinging onto 561 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:13,840 Speaker 1: any hope of like having like this fantasy family in 562 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:16,640 Speaker 1: my brain that wasn't right for either one of us, 563 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:19,520 Speaker 1: you know. And it was just like this like white knuckling, 564 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,440 Speaker 1: like and I still think people have to be ready. 565 00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,800 Speaker 1: I think you have to be ready to hear it, 566 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,240 Speaker 1: to receive it and do something about it. And if 567 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:29,880 Speaker 1: you're not in that place, you know, I am, I'm 568 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,880 Speaker 1: sorry for your experience, but well, and I think to like, 569 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,840 Speaker 1: if if that were to ever happen again, there wouldn't 570 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:37,960 Speaker 1: no be reaching out to the ex wife for the 571 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:39,560 Speaker 1: ex girlfriend. It would just be like, I'm sorry, this 572 00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,120 Speaker 1: relationship isn't gonna work for me, that it doesn't matter 573 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:44,840 Speaker 1: what happened with them doesn't matter. Yeah, So it's like 574 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,720 Speaker 1: that's where now this version would be like, oh no, 575 00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,200 Speaker 1: Like I wouldn't have to reach out to anybody because 576 00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:53,800 Speaker 1: I know in my firm foundation of what I deserve, 577 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,960 Speaker 1: what I want in my life, and what doesn't align 578 00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:02,080 Speaker 1: with me, right, And that's where like I was on 579 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,760 Speaker 1: the other side of that talking about the realities, the 580 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:07,400 Speaker 1: different realities. I was on the other side where I 581 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 1: had been. So I had been through a lot with 582 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:19,760 Speaker 1: this guy and was like I knew my truth of 583 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:25,080 Speaker 1: um experiencing life with him, and I have come to 584 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:28,840 Speaker 1: my own conclusion that he's never going to change, never 585 00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:34,280 Speaker 1: going to change. And so part of it was like, Okay, 586 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:37,280 Speaker 1: it sucks that you're in this place and you believe 587 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:39,120 Speaker 1: that something's going to change, like going back to you 588 00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:41,040 Speaker 1: believe it, like you hope and people you pray that 589 00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,080 Speaker 1: they can change, they can and I do, like I 590 00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:45,880 Speaker 1: believe that same thing is that I believe that there 591 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,640 Speaker 1: is that tiny little mustard seed in each and every 592 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:52,040 Speaker 1: one of us and it, yes, it needs love and nurturing. 593 00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,240 Speaker 1: And you know, people are in a dark place and 594 00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:57,720 Speaker 1: they act out or whatever. But at the end of 595 00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:00,360 Speaker 1: the day, if it starts to be a detriment to me, 596 00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:03,720 Speaker 1: I'm not going to take responsibility over that I did 597 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:08,440 Speaker 1: it for too long, if that makes sense. So how 598 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,680 Speaker 1: did we get here? How did we get from early nervous, 599 00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:17,240 Speaker 1: trepidagious email to being soul sisters? And it's been it's 600 00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:20,000 Speaker 1: gotten some hate, and I think that's another reason why 601 00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:22,800 Speaker 1: we kind of wanted to have this discussion too, because 602 00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,800 Speaker 1: I don't think people understand it. And that's again, it's 603 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:30,000 Speaker 1: not for people to understand. At the time. My intentions 604 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,240 Speaker 1: when I reached back out to her, because we never 605 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,840 Speaker 1: met face to face was my children. My children were 606 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:40,320 Speaker 1: around her daughter and they were in love with her daughter. 607 00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:44,840 Speaker 1: And that piece was what broke me the most, was 608 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:51,920 Speaker 1: that I prematurely introduced my children to someone and I 609 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:57,640 Speaker 1: then involved another child around my children that they fell 610 00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:00,560 Speaker 1: in love with the other person. They never mentioned the 611 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:04,640 Speaker 1: name once, but the child's name over and over and over. 612 00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,920 Speaker 1: When do we get to see And it literally broke 613 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:08,480 Speaker 1: my heart because I'm like, well, there we go. I 614 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:13,360 Speaker 1: just I messed this up. I I I screwed this up. 615 00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:16,880 Speaker 1: You know, and now my kids are are paying the price, 616 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,240 Speaker 1: and it broke my heart. And so I reached out 617 00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:23,200 Speaker 1: to her and I said, I don't know if you know, 618 00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:28,000 Speaker 1: but we're not together anymore. I said, Jason, and Jason 619 00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:34,920 Speaker 1: her daughter had a insane connection, like insane where every 620 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,720 Speaker 1: day like mommy wears, where's you know? Your daughter? Were where? Where? Where? 621 00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:42,000 Speaker 1: And so I was just like, all right, I have to, like, 622 00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,680 Speaker 1: I have to reach out to her. So um, I 623 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,440 Speaker 1: was like, it's not fair for the kids what they 624 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:52,320 Speaker 1: went through losing her again. They don't mention the other name, 625 00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:54,560 Speaker 1: They just are mentioning her. So is there a way 626 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,600 Speaker 1: that maybe we could let them face time every once 627 00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,880 Speaker 1: in a while and then just wean it out that way, 628 00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:03,080 Speaker 1: It's not just this dramatic someone who was with us 629 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,000 Speaker 1: seven is now no longer. They're never going to see again. 630 00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:07,680 Speaker 1: And I didn't want to have that conversation with him 631 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:10,640 Speaker 1: because I didn't think that would be received well um 632 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:14,239 Speaker 1: nor and we needed to you know, both move on, 633 00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:16,440 Speaker 1: and because it wasn't right for either one of us, right, 634 00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:20,719 Speaker 1: so um, and so I reached out to her and 635 00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:21,960 Speaker 1: I said that, and I was like, you know, I 636 00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:25,360 Speaker 1: totally understand if you don't you know, if you don't 637 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:27,880 Speaker 1: want to, I get it again. I'm not trying to 638 00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:31,200 Speaker 1: like rub dirt in an open wound, like I just 639 00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:37,560 Speaker 1: like and selfishly like what I mean that selfishly you 640 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:44,120 Speaker 1: were so graciously opening, like opened your heart to like 641 00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:48,080 Speaker 1: knowing my mama heart was ruined for my kids and 642 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:50,080 Speaker 1: because you could have been like no, like that that 643 00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:53,440 Speaker 1: was your that was your mistake made, and you need 644 00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:57,200 Speaker 1: to figure that out and instead, Yeah, I mean if 645 00:34:58,000 --> 00:34:59,799 Speaker 1: immediately as soon as I read her text and I 646 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:02,400 Speaker 1: read the words were not together anymore, my first very 647 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,319 Speaker 1: first thought was great, now I get to explain to 648 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,680 Speaker 1: my daughter why she can't go over to Jason Jonas anymore, 649 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:08,080 Speaker 1: you know, because I know that he's not going to 650 00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:11,720 Speaker 1: do it, and and then she's just gonna be left wondering. 651 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,520 Speaker 1: And I'm like, clearly, the only way that I can 652 00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:17,960 Speaker 1: remedy this is to, yeah, talk to Janna, and I 653 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,600 Speaker 1: can be mature about it, and I can you know, 654 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:21,319 Speaker 1: we can like dip our toe in and see if 655 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,120 Speaker 1: there's I mean, quite honestly, see if there is some 656 00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,400 Speaker 1: kind of connection, see if like each other, you know, 657 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:30,800 Speaker 1: we we resonate or whatever and when and what happened 658 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:33,120 Speaker 1: was is, so she goes, what if we just you 659 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,800 Speaker 1: and I get together first? And I go, and she was, 660 00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:38,160 Speaker 1: and then we can discuss how we handle the kids situation. 661 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,160 Speaker 1: And I said, I think that's a really great idea. 662 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:42,120 Speaker 1: And again like I'm like, thank you, thank you, thank you, 663 00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:44,680 Speaker 1: Like I just I so appreciate that. And she came 664 00:35:44,719 --> 00:35:47,480 Speaker 1: over and I mean two bottles later, we had a 665 00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:54,080 Speaker 1: lot in common. Was there that night too, And you 666 00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:57,840 Speaker 1: know it was like this we shared, you know, she 667 00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:01,400 Speaker 1: shared her experiences with her asked I shared my experiences 668 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,560 Speaker 1: in my past. And it wasn't even about like we 669 00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:08,000 Speaker 1: didn't we weren't bashing the first of all, we weren't 670 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:11,000 Speaker 1: bashing her ex. We weren't bashing my ex. Is you know, 671 00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:14,799 Speaker 1: it was just like a this thread, this commonality of 672 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:18,400 Speaker 1: like two people that you know, as we just we 673 00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:21,200 Speaker 1: connected on so many layers and I was just like, wow, 674 00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:25,160 Speaker 1: like this is this is actually a friendship. But this 675 00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:27,959 Speaker 1: is like I I relate to everything you're saying, She's 676 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:31,719 Speaker 1: relating to things that I'm saying. And we realized from there, 677 00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:37,640 Speaker 1: like how similar we were? Yeah, echo that heck of 678 00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:39,680 Speaker 1: that and and it's so interesting too. And I was 679 00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:41,839 Speaker 1: telling her this last night and then now then we've 680 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,359 Speaker 1: obviously gotten the kids together and you know, they've done 681 00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:47,520 Speaker 1: some sleepovers and I mean they're just like grand like 682 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:50,000 Speaker 1: they they love it. It's so much fun and it's 683 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:52,360 Speaker 1: such a happy ending for them. I love that. Yeah, 684 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:55,840 Speaker 1: and it's like they get they get there her daughter 685 00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:59,319 Speaker 1: and I got a friend, you know, like I got 686 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:05,320 Speaker 1: this sole sister friendship where it's like we relate and again, 687 00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:09,160 Speaker 1: like people are like, oh, like it's so immature, and 688 00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:12,240 Speaker 1: it's like, explain to me how protecting and how loving 689 00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:15,160 Speaker 1: my children and how connecting with someone that I connect 690 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:18,160 Speaker 1: with this immature is. I'm not rubbing, we're not rubbing, 691 00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:21,600 Speaker 1: we're not talking bad Like there's truly like I even 692 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:23,719 Speaker 1: told her, I was like, I don't even want to 693 00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,840 Speaker 1: bring up his name in this house. Yeah, we can 694 00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:29,239 Speaker 1: talk about our past experiences, but like, let's not like 695 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:32,080 Speaker 1: this isn't a bashing of a man session. This is 696 00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:35,640 Speaker 1: just like how do we lift each other up from 697 00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:37,719 Speaker 1: things that we've been through? How can I how can 698 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:40,239 Speaker 1: we pray together? How can we grow together? How can 699 00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:44,279 Speaker 1: we like it's not about bashing the men that we've 700 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:47,120 Speaker 1: been with No, we're very much both on a healing 701 00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,520 Speaker 1: journey and Janet, it could be anybody that had a 702 00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:53,040 Speaker 1: similar situation, Like I talked to several of my girlfriend 703 00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:54,640 Speaker 1: I was actually just on a walk today with a 704 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,000 Speaker 1: girlfriend and she was telling me about this four month 705 00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,799 Speaker 1: about with this really terrible guy that she dated that 706 00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:02,040 Speaker 1: was like such a world when he ended up suing 707 00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:03,720 Speaker 1: her and all of this stuff, and there were common 708 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:07,160 Speaker 1: threads there, you know. So it's I think that's a 709 00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:10,760 Speaker 1: big bond. And while it's an unfortunate circumstance to bond 710 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:16,719 Speaker 1: over um, I think we look at wanting to just 711 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:19,480 Speaker 1: evolve from it and grow and lift each other up 712 00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:35,200 Speaker 1: in other people. What I got from that last relationship 713 00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:38,319 Speaker 1: with such a gift in like a step in the 714 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:42,120 Speaker 1: right direction for my personal growth and healing and like 715 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,480 Speaker 1: but from that like it wasn't so I got that 716 00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,840 Speaker 1: from that relationship. And I also got a friendship and 717 00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:52,400 Speaker 1: my children have their friendship still and and I was 718 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,160 Speaker 1: we were talking about this last night, I go or 719 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:57,600 Speaker 1: the other night where it's so crazy that it's it's 720 00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:00,799 Speaker 1: the women in my life that have given me more 721 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,520 Speaker 1: than the man, when the men have ever so like 722 00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:05,479 Speaker 1: when I think back to like my ex husband John, 723 00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:10,600 Speaker 1: my best girlfriend is Julie, so his wife, right, So 724 00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:13,160 Speaker 1: like Julie has given me more than John and I 725 00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:17,239 Speaker 1: ever was, Krista has given me more than what that 726 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:20,680 Speaker 1: relationship with And like my Queendom, my girls have given 727 00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:23,680 Speaker 1: me more than I ever felt in my marriage. It's 728 00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:26,080 Speaker 1: like so that the women in my life are the 729 00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:28,040 Speaker 1: ones that have given me more than any man could 730 00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:30,160 Speaker 1: ever give me. And it's like I almost met some 731 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:33,400 Speaker 1: of them to have these beautiful friendships. Well, everything happens 732 00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:34,759 Speaker 1: for a reason. It kind of goes back to that. 733 00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:37,160 Speaker 1: And you see that you see that article last week 734 00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,680 Speaker 1: about women, uh it's called it was called the Rise 735 00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:42,880 Speaker 1: of the Lonely Single Man. I saw that, Yeah, and 736 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:46,359 Speaker 1: it's about how women are raising their dating standards and 737 00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:50,200 Speaker 1: therefore men are most of the people on dating apps 738 00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,880 Speaker 1: and dating opportunities are getting less for them because women 739 00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:56,680 Speaker 1: are raising their standards and they absolutely should because men 740 00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:59,120 Speaker 1: have gotten away with too much for too long. It's 741 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:05,200 Speaker 1: the whole don't need you, I want you vibe. Yeah. Um, 742 00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:07,759 Speaker 1: but with that too is we're gonna because I'm like, 743 00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:11,239 Speaker 1: all right, Christa, I was like we we met for 744 00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:15,440 Speaker 1: a reason. We I'm like, how can we also encourage 745 00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:18,160 Speaker 1: other single moms or help other moms out there, help 746 00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:22,360 Speaker 1: women that need help getting um, you know, about to 747 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,120 Speaker 1: go through a divorce and so um Catherine's dip in 748 00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:27,320 Speaker 1: her toe in it too. But we so we started 749 00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:30,040 Speaker 1: this Instagram and we're gonna we're gonna it's called all 750 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:34,360 Speaker 1: in Moms and we're just going to post inspirational things 751 00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:36,480 Speaker 1: or stories that people can relate to. And it's like 752 00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:38,520 Speaker 1: we want like a community of women to come together 753 00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,759 Speaker 1: that are just supporting other people are like, hey, I 754 00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:43,520 Speaker 1: need help. Like a lot of women can't get out 755 00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:44,799 Speaker 1: of the marriage. They don't know how to get out. 756 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:46,840 Speaker 1: It's like this is like I want women to just 757 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:49,279 Speaker 1: encourage and to help other women, and like go to 758 00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,840 Speaker 1: the comments and like flood the comments and like share 759 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,520 Speaker 1: your story, and like we're going to share, you know, 760 00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:57,040 Speaker 1: our stories and just like be a place for just 761 00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:00,920 Speaker 1: like uplifting other women to you know, to to not 762 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,640 Speaker 1: feel alone, because it is a lonely feeling, especially when 763 00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,160 Speaker 1: you we've either you've been in a bad relationship or 764 00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:07,680 Speaker 1: you don't know how to get out or like being 765 00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:10,080 Speaker 1: a single mom, Like it's tough. Like I was talking 766 00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:11,719 Speaker 1: to Caitlin on the way here and she was just like, 767 00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,160 Speaker 1: I lost it on my kids, like go there, talk 768 00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:17,560 Speaker 1: about it, like and just um, we just so yeah, 769 00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:21,319 Speaker 1: come to Instagram all in months and we're all going 770 00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:23,880 Speaker 1: to be there commenting and loving on you guys. And 771 00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:25,760 Speaker 1: I just want to point to I mean, you pointed 772 00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:28,600 Speaker 1: to earlier how my response when you reached out to 773 00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:32,279 Speaker 1: me after it ended, Um, after that relationship ended, and 774 00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:36,319 Speaker 1: you you said that I was so gracious and open hearted. Well, 775 00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:38,279 Speaker 1: I just want to point to the fact how you were. 776 00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:40,480 Speaker 1: It took a lot of courage for you to even 777 00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:43,680 Speaker 1: reach out to me. And so those are the things 778 00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:47,680 Speaker 1: that we would want to shine a light on, um, 779 00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:50,560 Speaker 1: for women who are going through even just a tough relationship, 780 00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:53,520 Speaker 1: tough marriage, whatever is. Even if you think that the 781 00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:57,480 Speaker 1: world is gonna you know, talk bad about your not understand, 782 00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,959 Speaker 1: mainly not understand, like, you should still do the things 783 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:02,839 Speaker 1: that scare you and reach out to the women who 784 00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,120 Speaker 1: you think maybe they can help you. The worst that 785 00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:08,040 Speaker 1: they can say is no. Yeah. I mean, because I've 786 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:09,719 Speaker 1: had a few women that I've reached out and I'm like, hey, 787 00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:13,680 Speaker 1: I've met your x and um, you know this, And 788 00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:17,080 Speaker 1: I'm like, I just asked for you to know your 789 00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:19,320 Speaker 1: worth and that's all I can give you, like because 790 00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:21,600 Speaker 1: I have to draw a boundary too with myself, like 791 00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:23,840 Speaker 1: I can't continue and that's like and I had to 792 00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:25,400 Speaker 1: talk to Catherine about this, and I was like I 793 00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:28,040 Speaker 1: had to check my relationship with Krista and I'm like, 794 00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,239 Speaker 1: am I am I in a relationship with her because 795 00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:32,680 Speaker 1: I'm wanting to make her x mad am I in 796 00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:37,640 Speaker 1: a relationship with her too? Um to have a hold 797 00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:39,400 Speaker 1: of him and I in a relationship with her. So 798 00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,080 Speaker 1: I was like I really had to like dissect it, 799 00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:44,920 Speaker 1: talk to you know, Catherine, talked to my therapist because 800 00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:47,279 Speaker 1: I wanted to be clear of what my motivation was, 801 00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:50,280 Speaker 1: so I knew it was my children. But then also 802 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,480 Speaker 1: I'm like, is was there any other piece there? And 803 00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:56,400 Speaker 1: I think once I got clear on like no, like 804 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,160 Speaker 1: I just really connected this person, and I think there's 805 00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:01,719 Speaker 1: you know, there was a reason why we why we 806 00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:04,920 Speaker 1: do connect and why like it's like that's when I'm like, Okay, 807 00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:08,400 Speaker 1: then I'm like we just can't talk about that person 808 00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:12,160 Speaker 1: because that is like that's the destructiveness, Like I don't 809 00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:14,080 Speaker 1: we don't need to let's ruminate about someone, you know 810 00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:15,640 Speaker 1: what I mean, Like, you are not my friend, and 811 00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:18,440 Speaker 1: that's what's important, not the past of X, Y and 812 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:25,720 Speaker 1: Z so so mature. It only took us thirty six years. 813 00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:29,000 Speaker 1: We're all growing, I think to really cement the bond here, 814 00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:30,319 Speaker 1: I think the best thing to do would be for 815 00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:40,120 Speaker 1: Catherine to date this guy and then Catherine, are you interesting? Thanks? Mark, 816 00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:43,480 Speaker 1: I'm out all together. I just don't want to date 817 00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:50,040 Speaker 1: anybody just man, man, we don't want to cement any 818 00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:53,040 Speaker 1: other bonds like that in that way. No, no, no, no, 819 00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:55,000 Speaker 1: I mean wish wish the best, and I would and 820 00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:56,839 Speaker 1: I would give you a I mean I would say 821 00:43:56,880 --> 00:44:01,879 Speaker 1: go for it, Cat like good, thanks, guys, I'm good. 822 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,600 Speaker 1: And again I also want to echo what Jann is saying, 823 00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:07,080 Speaker 1: like we are not here to talk bad. I am 824 00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:09,960 Speaker 1: not here to talk bad at all. But we do 825 00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:13,920 Speaker 1: have experiences and we have a lot of different relations. 826 00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:16,319 Speaker 1: You know, it's just a life, man, and being a 827 00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:18,520 Speaker 1: single mom and just being like, hey, I'm struggling, and 828 00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:23,000 Speaker 1: you know, and knowing that you are stronger than ever 829 00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:25,640 Speaker 1: sticking out right here that my sweet little christ and 830 00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:27,759 Speaker 1: breast Mark. I mean do you have any questions? Since 831 00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:32,600 Speaker 1: you know, how are you digesting all of this? It's 832 00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:34,800 Speaker 1: all fascinating and I love I love it. I actually 833 00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:38,759 Speaker 1: really like it. I I I hope that we all, 834 00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:42,160 Speaker 1: as much as is tempting to bash men, and no 835 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:44,839 Speaker 1: one loves doing that more than I do, that there 836 00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:47,080 Speaker 1: are some good guys out there, and I really I'm 837 00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:49,480 Speaker 1: hopeful that the three of you can use this strength 838 00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:52,080 Speaker 1: that you're gathering together to find some of them, because 839 00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:55,560 Speaker 1: they're there somewhere. They really are. I just think they're lazy. 840 00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:58,000 Speaker 1: To be honest with you, Yeah, they really are. But 841 00:44:58,080 --> 00:45:01,359 Speaker 1: why is it that I don't know if y'all may 842 00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:07,680 Speaker 1: be experienced, but the ones that aren't lazy, we're not 843 00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:11,080 Speaker 1: like all the way entirely attracted to because there's one 844 00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:16,799 Speaker 1: thing or like, you know, it's like like that when 845 00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:18,279 Speaker 1: I told you to be with and you're like, this 846 00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:21,120 Speaker 1: is nice. I'm like, but Krista, he has healthy, like 847 00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:24,399 Speaker 1: nice guys. They want them, but they don't really It's 848 00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:26,440 Speaker 1: gonna be interesting when you start dating. I'm like, Katherine, 849 00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:29,960 Speaker 1: why don't you like the nice guys? I'm I'm ready 850 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:33,719 Speaker 1: for something about the chase and I know, um who 851 00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:35,480 Speaker 1: was it that was on that Yeah, that one was 852 00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,640 Speaker 1: talking about them in the egg. The chase is on 853 00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:40,879 Speaker 1: both sides, but yeah, I don't know that's firm needs 854 00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:43,799 Speaker 1: chase egg. But is that a turn off? A guy 855 00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,920 Speaker 1: that's really interested and he shows up for he asks 856 00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:50,000 Speaker 1: you on an actual date, shows up to pick you up, 857 00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:53,640 Speaker 1: and he's dressed nicely and he actually like that, that 858 00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:56,799 Speaker 1: doesn't happen anymore, right, But his point, I will say, 859 00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:58,480 Speaker 1: I did have a date that a guy was dressed 860 00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:00,279 Speaker 1: in like full on I was like, I oft in 861 00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:01,960 Speaker 1: he was like in a full on like suit and 862 00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,480 Speaker 1: I was like, hello, fifty shades are great, what do 863 00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:09,880 Speaker 1: you want to do? Let's do that. But his point 864 00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:12,439 Speaker 1: is if they're the nice guy and they do that, 865 00:46:12,680 --> 00:46:16,560 Speaker 1: what we're saying is that just not attractive because it's 866 00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:21,160 Speaker 1: they're the nice guy. I just think if the nice 867 00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:26,480 Speaker 1: guy was the guy that like we want, then it 868 00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:29,560 Speaker 1: would be great. If there's gonna be the guy out there. 869 00:46:32,080 --> 00:46:35,799 Speaker 1: But if you're not entirely physically attracted to them, you know, 870 00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:38,839 Speaker 1: like they're handsome in certain lights, you know, I still 871 00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:41,000 Speaker 1: think you can be attracted to them and still they're 872 00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:45,520 Speaker 1: they're easy and nice and you think they exist. No, 873 00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:48,239 Speaker 1: I'm saying I think there's the nice guys that are 874 00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:50,319 Speaker 1: attractive and you are attracted to them, but you don't 875 00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:52,520 Speaker 1: really want them because it's not really the chase and 876 00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:54,720 Speaker 1: it's not that exciting. But what about the guy Krifton 877 00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:57,080 Speaker 1: went out with who says, you know, he's an acquired 878 00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:59,960 Speaker 1: taste or whatever? Does that exist? Because I do feel 879 00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:03,880 Speaker 1: there are guys that are funny, charming, sweet, and and 880 00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:08,840 Speaker 1: that women aren't as superficial as men. No, I agree 881 00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,960 Speaker 1: with that, and I also think, like crickets, I do 882 00:47:12,200 --> 00:47:14,480 Speaker 1: think that if you can give it a second, you can. 883 00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:19,279 Speaker 1: You might not at first just physical looks be attracted, 884 00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:22,200 Speaker 1: but once you get to know someone and their personality, 885 00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:24,879 Speaker 1: you can become attracted to them. So I do think 886 00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:30,000 Speaker 1: that this guy doesn't sound like the guys women tend 887 00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:32,240 Speaker 1: to say A sense of humor is more important than looks. 888 00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:36,479 Speaker 1: Is that accurate? I need? Yes, and I also still 889 00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:40,239 Speaker 1: need to be I need to still be attracted, But 890 00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:43,399 Speaker 1: I think I'm not going for the like model boy, 891 00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:45,319 Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like I just look at 892 00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:50,200 Speaker 1: just text me when you're thinking about me. That's and 893 00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:53,920 Speaker 1: and just yeah, like I think I think it's um, 894 00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:56,719 Speaker 1: I think it's possible. I think they're out there, and 895 00:47:56,760 --> 00:47:59,439 Speaker 1: I think we need to keep our standards. Oh yeah, 896 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:09,400 Speaker 1: I'm a chair. I just about me. I love that 897 00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:17,000 Speaker 1: her text come out. Goodness, I knew, whoa whoa Janna? 898 00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:20,400 Speaker 1: What happened? A strong single? In love with myself? I 899 00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:27,200 Speaker 1: don't anybody that's three weeks ago. Someone someone has um 900 00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:32,720 Speaker 1: entered the chat that I'm it's kind of excited about. 901 00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:35,920 Speaker 1: But I don't know. We'll see but someone so, I 902 00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:40,120 Speaker 1: mean so new kid as a teenager. When that text 903 00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:42,799 Speaker 1: came in, that's kind of cool. What does that mean? 904 00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:45,360 Speaker 1: Was that type daughter? Or is that like an auto message? 905 00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:47,040 Speaker 1: I don't know. I know what it means, but I 906 00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:55,080 Speaker 1: can't say that after all. Right, well this was this 907 00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:57,719 Speaker 1: was fun, right, this feels good. I think we were 908 00:48:57,719 --> 00:49:01,920 Speaker 1: both nervous because like, yes, but I feel like it's yeah. 909 00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:06,719 Speaker 1: But I also feel like I we said what's real? Well, 910 00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:13,160 Speaker 1: and I'll just well, god be weird. It's a million 911 00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:17,280 Speaker 1: percent weird. And look, I think we've canceled this podcast 912 00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:21,360 Speaker 1: date like twice at least. Okay, I think so, um, 913 00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:22,759 Speaker 1: I had to just kind of like I'm the kind 914 00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:25,040 Speaker 1: of person I have to really think about things a 915 00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:29,239 Speaker 1: lot before I actually do them. Um, And I a 916 00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:32,319 Speaker 1: big part of this that Janna is helping me with, 917 00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:36,440 Speaker 1: honestly is one of my goals after my divorce is 918 00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:39,120 Speaker 1: just just find my voice again and to not be 919 00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:41,680 Speaker 1: afraid to speak out and and but the rule with 920 00:49:41,719 --> 00:49:44,759 Speaker 1: that is if I'm speaking my truth, then I don't 921 00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:46,640 Speaker 1: need to feel ashamed about it, and I can do it. 922 00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:50,120 Speaker 1: And then if other people have questions, I'll answer your questions. 923 00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:52,560 Speaker 1: If you are confused or if you want to spe 924 00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:53,920 Speaker 1: you hate at me, I'm probably not going to talk 925 00:49:53,920 --> 00:49:56,480 Speaker 1: to you. Um. But if you have questions and just 926 00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:59,840 Speaker 1: ask me, and you know, according to my own boundaries, 927 00:49:59,840 --> 00:50:02,600 Speaker 1: I'll answer them. But but yeah, it's weird. Had you 928 00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:06,680 Speaker 1: heard this show before? Um, I knew about it. You listened, 929 00:50:06,719 --> 00:50:10,880 Speaker 1: didn't you know? I only only I only knew about 930 00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:16,400 Speaker 1: it when, Um, I think when you started, and I 931 00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:19,040 Speaker 1: think at the time, I was like, I cannot I 932 00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:21,279 Speaker 1: can listen to that? I was like, no, no, like 933 00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:23,080 Speaker 1: that's gonna be way too much of a trigger. I 934 00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:27,239 Speaker 1: don't like. I just I couldn't. Sorry, No, it's fine, 935 00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:31,279 Speaker 1: you're just being you. UM. But then but then as 936 00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:35,880 Speaker 1: it like a few months into their relationship. I was like, 937 00:50:36,120 --> 00:50:39,560 Speaker 1: all right, I'll listen just to like, just to hear 938 00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:45,360 Speaker 1: and and maybe start to form my own opinion about 939 00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:48,400 Speaker 1: this person from afar. You know, without too much judgment. 940 00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:52,480 Speaker 1: You're like annoying, you were you were the trolls on 941 00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:56,960 Speaker 1: my on the on the reddit. No, hell no, hell no. Um. 942 00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:59,600 Speaker 1: But so I listened to a a few and I was like, Okay, 943 00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:02,920 Speaker 1: you know, she sounds like she makes sense, she sounds 944 00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:05,799 Speaker 1: like a good person. I don't want to judge anybody. Like. 945 00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:12,440 Speaker 1: We all make mistakes. Um, some of us are stupid. 946 00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:16,719 Speaker 1: It's fine. So well apparently Jenna and I made the 947 00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:23,640 Speaker 1: same mistake. So that was my point. Um, So yeah, 948 00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:28,560 Speaker 1: did I answer your question? Yes? Yeah, And I think 949 00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:31,879 Speaker 1: again at the end of the day, it's like, um, 950 00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:33,600 Speaker 1: and what I've kind of learned too is, you know, 951 00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:35,359 Speaker 1: my my ex will be like when you stop talking, 952 00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:37,920 Speaker 1: it's like I'm not again, I'm not back. These are 953 00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:41,480 Speaker 1: just my experiences, my truths, my my story. This is 954 00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:45,560 Speaker 1: not like a I hate you and you know this 955 00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:47,040 Speaker 1: is what you did. It's like, no, this is just 956 00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:50,160 Speaker 1: these are my experiences and through this, this is how 957 00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:52,600 Speaker 1: I'm going to help x Y help other people, and 958 00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:55,080 Speaker 1: you know, and and connect with other women and like that. 959 00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:57,960 Speaker 1: That's that's the like, that's the goodness and all of it. 960 00:51:58,040 --> 00:51:59,960 Speaker 1: That's the victory. The two of you are getting to 961 00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:01,840 Speaker 1: the other and going oh and the way he choose 962 00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:06,080 Speaker 1: like it's like it's like it was like one moment 963 00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:08,240 Speaker 1: and then it was like and we're done talking about 964 00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:10,560 Speaker 1: that because it's not it's not about the person. It's 965 00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:13,640 Speaker 1: about the experience. It isn't about like the connection. That's up. 966 00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:20,480 Speaker 1: So yeah, good show, ladies. So you are welcome anytime. 967 00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:23,480 Speaker 1: Just let me know. Um we are going to eventually 968 00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:25,600 Speaker 1: have a dating expert on the show, so we will. 969 00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:28,239 Speaker 1: We will definitely have you um in on that one 970 00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:30,480 Speaker 1: because that'll be interest. Going to need a dating update 971 00:52:30,520 --> 00:52:33,759 Speaker 1: from you. Okay, girls, I mean I need to line 972 00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:36,040 Speaker 1: some up first. I don't have any lined up right now, 973 00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:48,839 Speaker 1: so same damn me? Do you like another one? Who 974 00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:53,759 Speaker 1: it's a two for text he's double texting already. I 975 00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:57,520 Speaker 1: don't like it. You know you will like it? Okay, 976 00:52:57,680 --> 00:53:01,640 Speaker 1: Just alright, well talk later. Find so