1 00:00:15,476 --> 00:00:24,796 Speaker 1: Pushkin as a happiness researcher. I'm grateful to live in 2 00:00:24,836 --> 00:00:27,836 Speaker 1: twenty twenty five, a time when there's been an explosion 3 00:00:27,876 --> 00:00:30,836 Speaker 1: of conversations about the importance of taking care of your 4 00:00:30,836 --> 00:00:33,916 Speaker 1: well being. But we're honestly still in the early stages 5 00:00:34,036 --> 00:00:36,596 Speaker 1: of breaking the silence around to mental health issues that 6 00:00:36,716 --> 00:00:39,396 Speaker 1: so many of us struggle with, and in some communities, 7 00:00:39,516 --> 00:00:43,596 Speaker 1: the stigma against dealing with these issues still runs deep. Men, 8 00:00:43,636 --> 00:00:45,996 Speaker 1: for example, are much less likely than women to seek 9 00:00:46,036 --> 00:00:49,956 Speaker 1: counseling or treatment for mental health challenges, and among athletes, 10 00:00:50,276 --> 00:00:53,836 Speaker 1: that stigma can be even higher. I've seen this firsthand 11 00:00:53,876 --> 00:00:56,356 Speaker 1: with my student athletes at Yale. Many of them hold 12 00:00:56,396 --> 00:00:59,756 Speaker 1: themselves to incredibly high standards, both in the classroom and 13 00:00:59,836 --> 00:01:02,516 Speaker 1: on the field. Many of them worry that admitting to 14 00:01:02,556 --> 00:01:05,836 Speaker 1: mental struggles could seem like a weakness or proof that 15 00:01:05,876 --> 00:01:09,876 Speaker 1: they're not fit to play. It often takes someone accomplished, respected, 16 00:01:09,916 --> 00:01:12,796 Speaker 1: and at the top of their game to model vulnerability 17 00:01:13,036 --> 00:01:16,676 Speaker 1: and open these conversations up for others. Fortunately, I'm lucky 18 00:01:16,716 --> 00:01:19,756 Speaker 1: to have one of those figures here today, five time 19 00:01:19,956 --> 00:01:22,636 Speaker 1: NBA All Star Kevin Love, who I was thrilled to 20 00:01:22,636 --> 00:01:25,236 Speaker 1: speak with even though I'm a Boston Celtics fan. 21 00:01:25,796 --> 00:01:28,476 Speaker 2: I love having these conversations because I get to learn, 22 00:01:28,836 --> 00:01:31,196 Speaker 2: you know, if you're not so against the Miami Heat, 23 00:01:31,236 --> 00:01:31,956 Speaker 2: that we can have. 24 00:01:31,996 --> 00:01:34,116 Speaker 3: That conversation continue. Yeah, okay. 25 00:01:34,836 --> 00:01:37,956 Speaker 1: This week marks the beginning of Kevin's eighteenth season in 26 00:01:37,996 --> 00:01:40,436 Speaker 1: the NBA. I should note that even though he was 27 00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:42,756 Speaker 1: playing for the Miami Heat at the time this was recorded, 28 00:01:43,076 --> 00:01:46,236 Speaker 1: he was recently traded to the Utah Jazz. I spoke 29 00:01:46,276 --> 00:01:49,516 Speaker 1: with Kevin about his experiences with grief, anxiety, and depression 30 00:01:50,036 --> 00:01:52,436 Speaker 1: and how he went from keeping those struggles private to 31 00:01:52,476 --> 00:01:54,876 Speaker 1: becoming a public leader in the mental health space. 32 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:59,116 Speaker 4: So we usually start with an introduction, So can I 33 00:01:59,156 --> 00:02:02,276 Speaker 4: just have you introduce yourself and to all our listeners. 34 00:02:01,876 --> 00:02:04,276 Speaker 2: What you do. Yeah, last night we had to describe 35 00:02:04,276 --> 00:02:06,876 Speaker 2: how we looked, you know, people with disabilities in the 36 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:10,836 Speaker 2: blind Oh yeah, funny, Like I'm Kevin Love. I'm thirty six, 37 00:02:10,876 --> 00:02:13,556 Speaker 2: but I have gray hair and blue eyes and very tall, 38 00:02:13,836 --> 00:02:16,076 Speaker 2: very tall, and yeah, I was like I'm six. I 39 00:02:16,116 --> 00:02:18,076 Speaker 2: literally did say that. I'm like, I'm six a plus, 40 00:02:18,076 --> 00:02:20,196 Speaker 2: but my contract height once said I was six' ten 41 00:02:20,236 --> 00:02:23,716 Speaker 2: and MAYBE i, Shrunk BUT i. Digress, Sorry Now I'm 42 00:02:23,796 --> 00:02:28,436 Speaker 2: Kevin love ball, player professional athlete in THE nba for seventeen. 43 00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:31,756 Speaker 2: Years i'll be haating into my eighteenth. Year i'm not 44 00:02:31,836 --> 00:02:35,516 Speaker 2: the best at, intros But i'm a father of two, 45 00:02:35,596 --> 00:02:38,116 Speaker 2: girls one that just turned two years, old another that 46 00:02:38,316 --> 00:02:42,076 Speaker 2: is four, Months my Wife, kate and a beautiful six 47 00:02:42,236 --> 00:02:46,676 Speaker 2: year old puppy Named. Vestri who is you. Know they 48 00:02:46,676 --> 00:02:49,276 Speaker 2: say you live longer when you have. Dogs so very 49 00:02:49,276 --> 00:02:51,196 Speaker 2: good for my mental. Life so it gets me. Outside 50 00:02:51,276 --> 00:02:52,956 Speaker 2: and that's what unconditional love looks. 51 00:02:52,996 --> 00:02:55,716 Speaker 4: Like So i'm curious to hear how you get started in. 52 00:02:55,796 --> 00:02:58,156 Speaker 4: BASKETBALL i understand that a lot of. Ways it started 53 00:02:58,196 --> 00:03:00,716 Speaker 4: with your Dad's, yeah tell me about. 54 00:03:00,716 --> 00:03:03,196 Speaker 2: That, Yeah so my dad he played three years The 55 00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:06,356 Speaker 2: university Of, oregon was drafted ninth in nineteen seventy one 56 00:03:06,356 --> 00:03:08,996 Speaker 2: by The Baltimore. Bullets played for The lakers as, well 57 00:03:09,116 --> 00:03:11,276 Speaker 2: played for The, hawks played for The spurs and short. 58 00:03:11,276 --> 00:03:14,436 Speaker 2: Stints and you, know he was my first. Hero he 59 00:03:14,556 --> 00:03:17,076 Speaker 2: was like a giant to. Me he was a protector 60 00:03:17,516 --> 00:03:21,556 Speaker 2: and he's six'. NINE imposing, i mean it would have 61 00:03:21,596 --> 00:03:24,316 Speaker 2: been great IN today's nba because he, could run he, 62 00:03:24,316 --> 00:03:27,476 Speaker 2: could jump he. Could shoot have photos that, you know 63 00:03:27,596 --> 00:03:29,596 Speaker 2: date back to nineteen eighty EIGHT when i, was Born 64 00:03:29,756 --> 00:03:33,396 Speaker 2: and i'm in my stroller with, the basketball and, you 65 00:03:33,436 --> 00:03:35,716 Speaker 2: know from, Then on i'm just kind of looking at 66 00:03:35,756 --> 00:03:39,316 Speaker 2: everything that my, dad did try to, emulate HIM and 67 00:03:39,596 --> 00:03:42,196 Speaker 2: i just wanted to just mimic his every move and 68 00:03:42,316 --> 00:03:43,796 Speaker 2: just wanted basketball to be a part of. 69 00:03:43,796 --> 00:03:44,796 Speaker 3: My life it was truly my. 70 00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:47,916 Speaker 4: FIRST love i can imagine that makes you love basketball. 71 00:03:47,916 --> 00:03:50,036 Speaker 4: A lot i can also imagine that comes with a lot. 72 00:03:50,076 --> 00:03:53,716 Speaker 2: Of, pressure yeah it, certainly did Especially in portland being 73 00:03:54,396 --> 00:03:56,516 Speaker 2: not a. BIG city i was a big fish in 74 00:03:56,556 --> 00:03:59,076 Speaker 2: a small pond, very early and that came with a lot, 75 00:03:59,116 --> 00:04:01,236 Speaker 2: of expectation and with a father who played at the, 76 00:04:01,276 --> 00:04:04,356 Speaker 2: highest level compete at the, highest level having Gone To, 77 00:04:04,436 --> 00:04:07,076 Speaker 2: universus oregon just a little bit down the Road, in 78 00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:10,036 Speaker 2: eugene there was certainly a lot. Of pressure i'm still 79 00:04:10,116 --> 00:04:16,596 Speaker 2: learning to unpack the weight of expectations for the last 80 00:04:16,796 --> 00:04:19,996 Speaker 2: at least, twenty years because when it came to my 81 00:04:20,116 --> 00:04:23,916 Speaker 2: early teenage years in primarily, high school there was certainly 82 00:04:23,996 --> 00:04:26,076 Speaker 2: a lot. Of that so there was a lot, of 83 00:04:26,116 --> 00:04:30,516 Speaker 2: pressure and a lot Of that i'm. Thankful for but 84 00:04:30,676 --> 00:04:33,116 Speaker 2: on the other side, of that there was an ugliness, 85 00:04:33,156 --> 00:04:35,196 Speaker 2: to it and at, THAT age i didn't have the 86 00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:38,196 Speaker 2: language to be able to EXPRESS what i, was feeling 87 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,676 Speaker 2: and especially as a, YOUNG man i just had the 88 00:04:40,716 --> 00:04:44,676 Speaker 2: playbook to bury it and compartmentalize and try and be 89 00:04:45,436 --> 00:04:50,556 Speaker 2: stoic within my masculinity and. My feelings and that drove 90 00:04:50,596 --> 00:04:53,756 Speaker 2: me to be pretty emotion phobic over the course, of time. 91 00:04:53,716 --> 00:04:55,596 Speaker 4: Which must have been especially HARD because i know you've 92 00:04:55,636 --> 00:04:58,076 Speaker 4: talked about kind of the anxiety you experienced early on. 93 00:04:58,156 --> 00:04:59,716 Speaker 4: In life you had this quote where you noted that 94 00:04:59,756 --> 00:05:03,156 Speaker 4: your default setting was often one. Of, Dread yes i'm 95 00:05:03,156 --> 00:05:05,636 Speaker 4: sure a lot of folks listening right now can recognize 96 00:05:05,636 --> 00:05:07,996 Speaker 4: the signs, of anxiety but how did that manifest for you? 97 00:05:08,116 --> 00:05:10,756 Speaker 2: Early? On well AND when i speak, about that it's 98 00:05:10,876 --> 00:05:15,396 Speaker 2: dread because my whole entire identity was built up to 99 00:05:15,436 --> 00:05:19,076 Speaker 2: be just a. Basketball player and HOW am i going 100 00:05:19,116 --> 00:05:23,556 Speaker 2: to work myself out of this depression or. This anxiety, 101 00:05:23,596 --> 00:05:25,436 Speaker 2: i'm LIKE if i can just get that one, more 102 00:05:25,476 --> 00:05:27,676 Speaker 2: accolade or we can win one, more CHAMPIONSHIP or i 103 00:05:27,676 --> 00:05:30,156 Speaker 2: can be not just the state player of, THE year 104 00:05:30,156 --> 00:05:31,076 Speaker 2: i got to be the national player of. 105 00:05:31,076 --> 00:05:31,796 Speaker 3: The year we have to win the. 106 00:05:31,876 --> 00:05:34,836 Speaker 2: National championship in, some ways it's, like masochistic like it hurts, so, 107 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,956 Speaker 2: good right chase those things and, That's okay like that 108 00:05:37,996 --> 00:05:43,236 Speaker 2: can be an admirable quality in. Some cases but your 109 00:05:43,236 --> 00:05:45,156 Speaker 2: brain is going to, go back dopamine is going to. 110 00:05:45,156 --> 00:05:46,956 Speaker 2: Go down you're going to go back to. That BASELINE 111 00:05:47,156 --> 00:05:50,276 Speaker 2: and i think that's when when you think that these 112 00:05:50,276 --> 00:05:52,436 Speaker 2: things are going to for lack of a, better term, 113 00:05:52,636 --> 00:05:57,996 Speaker 2: fix you those anxieties and especially the dark spells, and 114 00:05:58,116 --> 00:06:01,316 Speaker 2: depression those, you know emerged. From dormancy they just come, 115 00:06:01,356 --> 00:06:04,156 Speaker 2: in waves and in some cases, when STILL when i, 116 00:06:04,476 --> 00:06:06,356 Speaker 2: have failures it can be a house of cards and 117 00:06:06,436 --> 00:06:11,956 Speaker 2: just burn down. Very quickly so that's what happened, with 118 00:06:12,036 --> 00:06:14,396 Speaker 2: me and maybe even more so with. 119 00:06:14,516 --> 00:06:17,236 Speaker 4: High, achievers yes and this is the kind OF thing 120 00:06:17,276 --> 00:06:19,716 Speaker 4: i totally see in my Students. At, YALE right i 121 00:06:19,716 --> 00:06:21,916 Speaker 4: work with a lot of amazing. Student athletes don't if 122 00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:23,316 Speaker 4: they're going to play it for, the heat but, you know. 123 00:06:23,356 --> 00:06:26,236 Speaker 4: We'll see, but yeah but this idea that their whole 124 00:06:26,316 --> 00:06:29,516 Speaker 4: identity is caught up in, their performance that they're, you 125 00:06:29,516 --> 00:06:32,476 Speaker 4: know an, athlete first a basketball, player first, you know lacrosse, 126 00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:35,756 Speaker 4: player first and then a. Human, second right and then 127 00:06:35,876 --> 00:06:39,436 Speaker 4: just this like incredible perfectionism where you just have to 128 00:06:39,436 --> 00:06:42,116 Speaker 4: be perfect all. The time my students are fond OF 129 00:06:42,116 --> 00:06:44,556 Speaker 4: This dj college SONG All i Do, is win but, it's, 130 00:06:44,596 --> 00:06:46,036 Speaker 4: like well if all you do, is win then the 131 00:06:46,036 --> 00:06:48,436 Speaker 4: first time, you lose it's like the whole world has 132 00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:51,196 Speaker 4: crumbled down, Right right and it seemed like you were dealing, 133 00:06:51,196 --> 00:06:54,756 Speaker 4: with that but also this super hyper masculine culture like 134 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,796 Speaker 4: where you. Grew UP but i, think also, you know 135 00:06:56,836 --> 00:06:59,076 Speaker 4: having your dad in the early days of the sport 136 00:06:59,076 --> 00:07:00,236 Speaker 4: where this stuff really wasn't. 137 00:07:00,236 --> 00:07:01,236 Speaker 3: Talked about and it's. 138 00:07:01,316 --> 00:07:05,716 Speaker 2: GENERATIONAL too i mean there's some generational trauma within. MY family, 139 00:07:05,796 --> 00:07:09,396 Speaker 2: I Mean brian wilson just died. As well and, you 140 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:12,076 Speaker 2: know my dad was the caretaker in a Bodyguard for 141 00:07:12,156 --> 00:07:17,756 Speaker 2: brian when he had struggled with. Substance abuse and just to, Be, 142 00:07:17,836 --> 00:07:20,836 Speaker 2: clear brian you're. A becaus, You Know beach boys were 143 00:07:20,836 --> 00:07:23,996 Speaker 2: started in a Garage, In, hawthorne california and it was, 144 00:07:24,116 --> 00:07:27,236 Speaker 2: you Know the. Love's side their cousins Were, the wilsons 145 00:07:27,276 --> 00:07:29,276 Speaker 2: and It, was brian and It, was carl and It 146 00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:31,476 Speaker 2: was dennis and it was, you know My, uncle mike 147 00:07:31,516 --> 00:07:35,756 Speaker 2: and they Created The west coast sound and you know 148 00:07:35,796 --> 00:07:38,636 Speaker 2: he dealt with his share of mental health problems as 149 00:07:38,676 --> 00:07:41,316 Speaker 2: WELL as i mean. THE loves I think i've always 150 00:07:42,156 --> 00:07:46,516 Speaker 2: been prone to melancholy and, dark spells dating back almost 151 00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:50,076 Speaker 2: a hundred, YEARS now i keep looking back and unpeeling 152 00:07:50,156 --> 00:07:52,316 Speaker 2: layers of all of That where, i'm, like yes this 153 00:07:52,476 --> 00:07:53,556 Speaker 2: helps tell. 154 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:54,036 Speaker 3: The story it. 155 00:07:54,076 --> 00:07:55,956 Speaker 2: Is generational and that was something that my DAD and 156 00:07:55,996 --> 00:07:58,036 Speaker 2: i spoke about towards the end of, his life when 157 00:07:58,036 --> 00:08:02,396 Speaker 2: he was. In hospice we really finally opened up. About 158 00:08:02,436 --> 00:08:08,196 Speaker 2: it his emotional regulation was never quite there because of 159 00:08:09,276 --> 00:08:12,316 Speaker 2: his father being a, physical father and so when my 160 00:08:12,436 --> 00:08:14,836 Speaker 2: dad was, in hospice he started seeing some of those 161 00:08:14,876 --> 00:08:17,196 Speaker 2: things in his dreams and a lot of those memories 162 00:08:17,236 --> 00:08:19,956 Speaker 2: had come up in a very. Ugly way but it 163 00:08:20,156 --> 00:08:25,076 Speaker 2: allowed him to be a lot more vulnerable and. Face 164 00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:28,156 Speaker 2: it but it was him coming to peace with how. 165 00:08:28,196 --> 00:08:32,596 Speaker 2: He lived the true lesson that he taught me through all, 166 00:08:32,636 --> 00:08:35,516 Speaker 2: of this as well as. Our relationship we were in 167 00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,436 Speaker 2: strange for a number, of years and, you know he 168 00:08:37,476 --> 00:08:42,236 Speaker 2: taught me two true wisdoms that were reconciliation and forgiveness. 169 00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:44,356 Speaker 4: As well it's so great that you were able to 170 00:08:44,636 --> 00:08:47,396 Speaker 4: reconcile with your father before, he passed and also kind 171 00:08:47,436 --> 00:08:49,556 Speaker 4: of come to terms with the fact that he struggled 172 00:08:49,556 --> 00:08:51,156 Speaker 4: with emotion regulation and it wasn't. 173 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,516 Speaker 2: His FAULT well i get, it, NOW yeah i, Get 174 00:08:53,556 --> 00:08:55,356 Speaker 2: it like it all. Makes sense he did the best 175 00:08:55,396 --> 00:08:57,916 Speaker 2: that he could and he, wasn't equipped and there's such. 176 00:08:57,916 --> 00:09:01,356 Speaker 2: A stigma there's, still stigma huge stigma around speaking about 177 00:09:01,396 --> 00:09:03,116 Speaker 2: mental health and WHAT am i going to do? After 178 00:09:03,156 --> 00:09:05,796 Speaker 2: basketball what if there's nothing for me after? My sport 179 00:09:05,996 --> 00:09:10,236 Speaker 2: and my dad certainly fought, as WELL and i think 180 00:09:10,236 --> 00:09:15,196 Speaker 2: he felt like he, failed OFTEN but i kept, TELLING him, I, 181 00:09:15,196 --> 00:09:17,276 Speaker 2: go dad all you wanted at the end of your 182 00:09:17,316 --> 00:09:19,916 Speaker 2: life was your kids to be there when, you passed 183 00:09:20,036 --> 00:09:21,596 Speaker 2: and for mom to be here when you pass and 184 00:09:21,636 --> 00:09:24,276 Speaker 2: to be at home and to die. At HOME and, I, 185 00:09:24,316 --> 00:09:29,316 Speaker 2: go dad. You're successful you. Are enough, you're here your kids. 186 00:09:29,316 --> 00:09:32,516 Speaker 2: Are here we want to. Be here and success is 187 00:09:32,516 --> 00:09:35,676 Speaker 2: having your kids come home like. We're here we got you. 188 00:09:35,956 --> 00:09:39,436 Speaker 3: So awesome, i'm like. You're successful you can die, knowing 189 00:09:39,596 --> 00:09:39,836 Speaker 3: that like. 190 00:09:39,876 --> 00:09:42,036 Speaker 4: You're, good yeah it's so cool to hear you, say 191 00:09:42,036 --> 00:09:44,676 Speaker 4: that because it feels like that must have been such hard, one, 192 00:09:44,756 --> 00:09:48,516 Speaker 4: knowledge right like hearing about how things. Started off it really, 193 00:09:48,596 --> 00:09:50,916 Speaker 4: was like don't talk about your. Mental health even as 194 00:09:50,916 --> 00:09:53,556 Speaker 4: your dad was Dealing With, brian wilson it sounds like 195 00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:56,276 Speaker 4: his kind of way to deal with substance use and 196 00:09:56,316 --> 00:09:57,996 Speaker 4: mental health issues, was like let's get you on, the 197 00:09:57,996 --> 00:10:00,676 Speaker 4: court let's. Exercise more and this was something THAT you, 198 00:10:00,796 --> 00:10:02,036 Speaker 4: i know took on early. 199 00:10:02,076 --> 00:10:02,196 Speaker 2: On. 200 00:10:02,316 --> 00:10:05,196 Speaker 4: Too right we often talk On The happiness lab podcast 201 00:10:05,236 --> 00:10:07,436 Speaker 4: about how exercise is really good for, mental health but 202 00:10:07,436 --> 00:10:09,676 Speaker 4: it seems like your exercise pushed, into like, you know 203 00:10:10,156 --> 00:10:11,916 Speaker 4: trauma of perfections than his. 204 00:10:12,036 --> 00:10:14,716 Speaker 2: Mental, HEALTH yes i think that in SOME ways i 205 00:10:14,756 --> 00:10:17,076 Speaker 2: was killing two birds with. One STONE and i do 206 00:10:17,196 --> 00:10:20,036 Speaker 2: love to, work out but there is still something There that, 207 00:10:20,076 --> 00:10:22,116 Speaker 2: i'm LIKE am i doing THIS because i have to? 208 00:10:22,156 --> 00:10:24,516 Speaker 2: Be Perfect or i'm doing THIS because i have to 209 00:10:24,556 --> 00:10:24,876 Speaker 2: stay in? 210 00:10:24,876 --> 00:10:27,556 Speaker 4: My sport and early on that was in some ways. 211 00:10:27,676 --> 00:10:30,556 Speaker 4: Really reinforced because you, get very very good at. Your 212 00:10:30,596 --> 00:10:33,476 Speaker 4: schools when did you first realize that you could be, 213 00:10:33,476 --> 00:10:34,716 Speaker 4: a professional. 214 00:10:34,356 --> 00:10:34,756 Speaker 5: Kind of like? 215 00:10:34,796 --> 00:10:38,356 Speaker 3: Your dad my best friend's dad tells it all. 216 00:10:38,356 --> 00:10:41,356 Speaker 2: The time first day, at preschool driving us home and, 217 00:10:41,436 --> 00:10:42,716 Speaker 2: you know he kind, of, asked, you know what do 218 00:10:42,756 --> 00:10:44,716 Speaker 2: you want to be when you? GROW up, I said 219 00:10:44,716 --> 00:10:46,596 Speaker 2: i'm just gonna be IN the nba like, my dad 220 00:10:46,876 --> 00:10:49,756 Speaker 2: and he tells a story all the time and talks 221 00:10:49,796 --> 00:10:53,956 Speaker 2: about how he's like. This kid there's just something about 222 00:10:54,036 --> 00:10:57,916 Speaker 2: HIM where i. ACTUALLY believed i really truly. Believed him 223 00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:00,436 Speaker 2: i'm being honest. WITH you i always. Believed it there 224 00:11:00,476 --> 00:11:02,796 Speaker 2: was no doubt in. My MIND and i think it. 225 00:11:02,876 --> 00:11:05,316 Speaker 2: Helped that, you know the. DOCTOR said i heard them 226 00:11:05,676 --> 00:11:07,916 Speaker 2: SAY when i, was young and, the pediatrician, they, said. 227 00:11:07,756 --> 00:11:11,276 Speaker 3: Well he's gonna be. Very tall this is going to 228 00:11:11,356 --> 00:11:13,276 Speaker 3: be a. TALL kid I knew i. 229 00:11:13,356 --> 00:11:16,196 Speaker 2: HAD that i liked the idea of being tall like, 230 00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,756 Speaker 2: my dad and being a basketball player WAS all i 231 00:11:18,796 --> 00:11:22,156 Speaker 2: ever wanted. To be but it was probably around eighth 232 00:11:22,236 --> 00:11:24,476 Speaker 2: grade and my freshman year of high SCHOOL when I 233 00:11:25,316 --> 00:11:27,516 Speaker 2: know i played up with. MY brother i was playing 234 00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:29,156 Speaker 2: two grades up, with him AND then i was playing 235 00:11:29,196 --> 00:11:33,276 Speaker 2: against college players and then. Pro PLAYERS once i got into, 236 00:11:33,396 --> 00:11:35,316 Speaker 2: high SCHOOL and i thought, to MYSELF if i just 237 00:11:35,396 --> 00:11:38,836 Speaker 2: keep on this same track and keep this, SINGULAR focus 238 00:11:39,476 --> 00:11:41,356 Speaker 2: i can have a lot. Of success and if you 239 00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:43,756 Speaker 2: have to have a little bit, of luck, it's timing, 240 00:11:43,876 --> 00:11:46,356 Speaker 2: it's culture, it's demographic, it's luck it's all of. These 241 00:11:46,396 --> 00:11:48,236 Speaker 2: THINGS but i certainly had. 242 00:11:48,076 --> 00:11:52,556 Speaker 4: That definitely involved, some luck but also involved a tremendous card. Working, 243 00:11:52,596 --> 00:11:56,036 Speaker 4: skill yeah you became Super successful ariel in, your career, 244 00:11:56,156 --> 00:11:59,116 Speaker 4: You Know, all star Twenty Ten, world champion twenty Ten tall. 245 00:11:59,156 --> 00:12:02,516 Speaker 4: Olympic gold but in SOME ways i feel like that 246 00:12:02,676 --> 00:12:05,356 Speaker 4: luck was kind of contrasted with a lot of tough 247 00:12:05,356 --> 00:12:07,796 Speaker 4: stuff that happened early on in. YOUR career, i know 248 00:12:07,836 --> 00:12:10,876 Speaker 4: in twenty thirteen you had a. Huge, hit yes tell me. 249 00:12:10,876 --> 00:12:13,876 Speaker 2: WHAT happened i just never went through the grieving process with, 250 00:12:15,076 --> 00:12:18,076 Speaker 2: my grandmother and she was the. Corner stop she was 251 00:12:18,116 --> 00:12:20,596 Speaker 2: like the pillar of. Our family she lived right next 252 00:12:20,596 --> 00:12:25,316 Speaker 2: door to us our, entire life and she was just. 253 00:12:25,356 --> 00:12:27,556 Speaker 3: So special she didn't. Need much she just. 254 00:12:27,556 --> 00:12:30,756 Speaker 2: Wanted family she wanted to volunteer at. The school she 255 00:12:30,796 --> 00:12:33,396 Speaker 2: wanted to help raise, my sister who was a. Premi 256 00:12:33,476 --> 00:12:37,556 Speaker 2: baby as, you know my dad worked a backbreaking job at. 257 00:12:37,836 --> 00:12:42,276 Speaker 2: A warehouse but she was just the absolute rock and the. 258 00:12:42,316 --> 00:12:44,996 Speaker 2: Best WOMAN and i DON'T think i appreciated it or 259 00:12:45,076 --> 00:12:49,676 Speaker 2: had the presence of mind to lean into that type 260 00:12:49,716 --> 00:12:51,836 Speaker 2: of a figure in, our life and she was. Right 261 00:12:51,876 --> 00:12:55,236 Speaker 2: there so there was so. MUCH regret i talked about 262 00:12:55,236 --> 00:12:57,476 Speaker 2: it all. The. Time regret it's more tied up in 263 00:12:57,476 --> 00:13:00,076 Speaker 2: inaction rather, Than, action like of course there's THINGS that 264 00:13:00,836 --> 00:13:04,956 Speaker 2: i did and especially offloaded hurt on people that were 265 00:13:04,996 --> 00:13:06,916 Speaker 2: the closest to me or just did not. Deserve IT 266 00:13:06,956 --> 00:13:09,196 Speaker 2: so i certainly regret, that action but the inaction of 267 00:13:09,236 --> 00:13:10,756 Speaker 2: not spending more time with. 268 00:13:10,796 --> 00:13:11,716 Speaker 3: My grandmother and you go. 269 00:13:11,716 --> 00:13:14,556 Speaker 2: To her little cottage and you go around there and 270 00:13:14,596 --> 00:13:18,356 Speaker 2: you just see photos of like everything that her family had, 271 00:13:18,356 --> 00:13:23,396 Speaker 2: ever done because she understood what. Really MATTERED and i 272 00:13:23,396 --> 00:13:27,716 Speaker 2: DON'T think i appreciated. THAT enough i didn't go back 273 00:13:27,796 --> 00:13:32,636 Speaker 2: when she was cremated or get to grieve with my 274 00:13:32,676 --> 00:13:36,356 Speaker 2: family back Home. IN portland i just kept on being 275 00:13:36,356 --> 00:13:38,356 Speaker 2: with the Team. IN minnesota i was there for. SIX 276 00:13:38,436 --> 00:13:41,036 Speaker 2: years i just kept being with them and lost myself. 277 00:13:41,076 --> 00:13:43,716 Speaker 2: IN basketball i was just running. FROM it i didn't 278 00:13:43,756 --> 00:13:47,116 Speaker 2: want to go to the extremities of, those FEELINGS so 279 00:13:47,116 --> 00:13:50,036 Speaker 2: i never got to, unpack that and that manifested in 280 00:13:50,116 --> 00:13:53,156 Speaker 2: my body in. Different ways the body and they. Keep 281 00:13:53,196 --> 00:13:56,636 Speaker 2: score everybody loves to, say that but it's. So true in, 282 00:13:56,676 --> 00:13:58,436 Speaker 2: some way shape, or form that's going to have to. 283 00:13:58,436 --> 00:14:01,116 Speaker 2: Come out and, for me it was in, panic attacks 284 00:14:01,116 --> 00:14:04,476 Speaker 2: it was, rage fits it, was agoraphobia and not wanting 285 00:14:04,516 --> 00:14:07,636 Speaker 2: to go out for maybe fear of public embarrassment or 286 00:14:07,676 --> 00:14:08,596 Speaker 2: FELT like i was doing. 287 00:14:08,716 --> 00:14:09,796 Speaker 3: Something wrong and. 288 00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,556 Speaker 4: That must have been a really awful one, to punch 289 00:14:11,596 --> 00:14:14,276 Speaker 4: because my sense, is like you had, her loss but 290 00:14:14,316 --> 00:14:16,196 Speaker 4: then you also had kind of a loss on. THE 291 00:14:16,196 --> 00:14:18,596 Speaker 4: court i understand that you suffered an injury pretty soon, after, 292 00:14:18,636 --> 00:14:19,876 Speaker 4: THAT right, i DID. 293 00:14:19,716 --> 00:14:24,316 Speaker 2: And i broke, my HAND and i only played eighteen games, 294 00:14:24,356 --> 00:14:28,196 Speaker 2: that YEAR and, i was, you know, suicidal gestures suicidal 295 00:14:28,236 --> 00:14:31,236 Speaker 2: ideation didn't ever leave. My apartment it was kind of 296 00:14:31,236 --> 00:14:34,716 Speaker 2: LIKE how i was often. GROWING up i remember just 297 00:14:34,756 --> 00:14:37,476 Speaker 2: being my Room and i'd go, To school i'd go to, basketball. 298 00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:39,236 Speaker 3: Practice And then i'd just kind of be. In there. 299 00:14:39,316 --> 00:14:41,516 Speaker 2: YOU know i looked at my dad, as well not 300 00:14:41,556 --> 00:14:43,316 Speaker 2: wanting to get out, of bed and just kind of, 301 00:14:43,356 --> 00:14:44,956 Speaker 2: lay there THROW the, tv on be in a, dark 302 00:14:45,036 --> 00:14:48,596 Speaker 2: room sleep, often early, and often, you know go eat 303 00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:51,156 Speaker 2: at the dinner table and my mom's just. FINISHING up 304 00:14:51,196 --> 00:14:52,476 Speaker 2: i would sit there with Her and i'd, be like, 305 00:14:52,476 --> 00:14:53,756 Speaker 2: you know. Where's dad and. 306 00:14:53,716 --> 00:14:55,596 Speaker 4: In some ways this must have been worse because this 307 00:14:55,716 --> 00:14:58,276 Speaker 4: is now on the, professional stage where you're in, your 308 00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:00,716 Speaker 4: room not coming out kind of recovering from. An injury 309 00:15:00,716 --> 00:15:02,356 Speaker 4: and what was it like going. Through that did you 310 00:15:02,396 --> 00:15:03,716 Speaker 4: talk to anybody about what you're Going? 311 00:15:03,716 --> 00:15:07,356 Speaker 2: To no and my agent and he always talks. TO 312 00:15:07,356 --> 00:15:09,476 Speaker 2: me i talked, to you is, Your friend i'm gonna 313 00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,756 Speaker 2: talk to you as. Your agent but he didn't know 314 00:15:11,796 --> 00:15:13,996 Speaker 2: how to speak. To me but he would, just say, 315 00:15:14,636 --> 00:15:16,996 Speaker 2: you know snap out. Of it, I'm like i've never 316 00:15:17,036 --> 00:15:19,716 Speaker 2: thought of. That before, oh yeah let me just snap out. 317 00:15:19,716 --> 00:15:21,876 Speaker 4: OF it, i mean it's just remarkable how little people 318 00:15:21,956 --> 00:15:23,676 Speaker 4: get how mental health issues. 319 00:15:23,716 --> 00:15:26,676 Speaker 2: Really, work yes but now, it's like, you know, My Agent, 320 00:15:26,756 --> 00:15:30,036 Speaker 2: jeff schwartz he has three beautiful daughters who Are like 321 00:15:30,516 --> 00:15:33,676 Speaker 2: I'm uncle kevin NOW and i love them that he, 322 00:15:33,756 --> 00:15:37,156 Speaker 2: gets it and. They're athletes, so again he's evolved and 323 00:15:37,196 --> 00:15:41,596 Speaker 2: he understands it. Far more but in, TWENTY thirteen i 324 00:15:41,676 --> 00:15:44,596 Speaker 2: wasn't equipped at all to deal, with IT and i 325 00:15:44,596 --> 00:15:49,756 Speaker 2: didn't have the language to, express IT and i was 326 00:15:49,876 --> 00:15:53,436 Speaker 2: just in bed, a lot in a dark room. A, 327 00:15:53,476 --> 00:15:57,276 Speaker 2: Lot eventually kevin found a way to heal and to 328 00:15:57,316 --> 00:16:00,596 Speaker 2: share his story, with others but as is often, the 329 00:16:00,596 --> 00:16:02,956 Speaker 2: case things had to hit rock bottom before they. 330 00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,516 Speaker 1: Got better when we get back from, The break i'll 331 00:16:05,556 --> 00:16:08,476 Speaker 1: Talk with kevin about his very public panic attack and 332 00:16:08,516 --> 00:16:12,436 Speaker 1: the viral art that detailed. His Experience The happiness lab 333 00:16:12,476 --> 00:16:13,076 Speaker 1: will be back in. 334 00:16:13,076 --> 00:16:13,756 Speaker 2: A moment. 335 00:16:21,076 --> 00:16:21,876 Speaker 5: And so how did you wind? 336 00:16:21,916 --> 00:16:26,796 Speaker 2: Up, feeling well it WASN'T until i really started doing. 337 00:16:26,796 --> 00:16:29,756 Speaker 2: The work and, YOU know i it's not TO say 338 00:16:29,876 --> 00:16:32,676 Speaker 2: i didn't have these like great moments and Times when 339 00:16:33,236 --> 00:16:35,316 Speaker 2: i'd come out. Of it, you know maybe it was, 340 00:16:35,396 --> 00:16:38,756 Speaker 2: three weeks maybe it was three months of these really, 341 00:16:39,036 --> 00:16:43,876 Speaker 2: dark spells and my best friends. Didn't know but things 342 00:16:43,916 --> 00:16:49,276 Speaker 2: got so much worse in our seventeen. Eighteen season, you 343 00:16:49,316 --> 00:16:52,276 Speaker 2: know that very public panic attack and mental health EPISODE 344 00:16:52,276 --> 00:16:55,756 Speaker 2: that i know we'll speak. About happened it got a 345 00:16:55,796 --> 00:16:57,836 Speaker 2: lot worse before it. Got, better, Yeah. 346 00:16:57,676 --> 00:17:00,116 Speaker 5: Yeah so what happened to that season to make things get? 347 00:17:00,156 --> 00:17:05,196 Speaker 2: Worse again it was unpacking the pressures of expectations of 348 00:17:06,396 --> 00:17:09,436 Speaker 2: fifteen to twenty years and the weight of, you know 349 00:17:09,476 --> 00:17:12,996 Speaker 2: an organization and ownership and the front office put in 350 00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:15,156 Speaker 2: pressure that we have to win and. Win now and 351 00:17:15,196 --> 00:17:18,556 Speaker 2: while we love that because it drove us to do these. 352 00:17:18,556 --> 00:17:22,276 Speaker 2: Great things we went to four straight finals from fifteen. 353 00:17:22,316 --> 00:17:25,876 Speaker 2: Through eighteen we won in twenty sixteen first major sports Championship. 354 00:17:26,036 --> 00:17:29,756 Speaker 2: In cleveland but, YOU know i was at that time 355 00:17:30,676 --> 00:17:33,796 Speaker 2: not speaking to. MY parents i was strange. From them, 356 00:17:34,076 --> 00:17:36,076 Speaker 2: you know within my my love life and my, personal 357 00:17:36,076 --> 00:17:39,396 Speaker 2: life things had, gone wrong as well as always feeling 358 00:17:39,396 --> 00:17:42,516 Speaker 2: these things and never facing it head on and not 359 00:17:42,596 --> 00:17:45,876 Speaker 2: going to therapy or having a trusted CONFIDENT that i could. 360 00:17:45,996 --> 00:17:47,996 Speaker 2: SPEAK to i DON'T think i wanted to admit that 361 00:17:48,036 --> 00:17:49,796 Speaker 2: there was. A problem i FELT like i was a 362 00:17:49,796 --> 00:17:53,756 Speaker 2: failure of even having these feelings and that idea of 363 00:17:54,236 --> 00:17:58,116 Speaker 2: masculinity and. Showing emotion of course i'd get angry and 364 00:17:58,156 --> 00:18:00,156 Speaker 2: get a technical foul and that sort, of thing but 365 00:18:00,196 --> 00:18:02,836 Speaker 2: in terms of, saying like, You know i'm at, home 366 00:18:02,996 --> 00:18:07,116 Speaker 2: Crying or i'm at home and my anxiety is coming 367 00:18:07,196 --> 00:18:10,316 Speaker 2: up in a way that is, SEVERELY unhealthy i, just 368 00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:13,196 Speaker 2: said like everybody else has these problems worse, Than ME 369 00:18:13,316 --> 00:18:17,236 Speaker 2: and i was, comparing GRIEF but i was also withholding 370 00:18:17,356 --> 00:18:21,956 Speaker 2: compassion for myself and not having grace. Within THAT and 371 00:18:22,716 --> 00:18:26,596 Speaker 2: i believe that nobody benefits from THAT that i just 372 00:18:26,676 --> 00:18:31,476 Speaker 2: all bottled up into a moment and it was PUBLIC 373 00:18:32,116 --> 00:18:34,716 Speaker 2: and i was on, the court it WAS. ON tv, 374 00:18:34,876 --> 00:18:37,396 Speaker 2: i mean we were a team that had nationally, televised 375 00:18:37,436 --> 00:18:39,316 Speaker 2: games and, You know i'd had these, feelings before these 376 00:18:39,316 --> 00:18:40,796 Speaker 2: type of things, That Happened but i've always just been 377 00:18:40,836 --> 00:18:43,396 Speaker 2: able to remove myself from a situation where have like 378 00:18:44,196 --> 00:18:46,716 Speaker 2: rage fits in my space at home right like it 379 00:18:46,796 --> 00:18:50,316 Speaker 2: manifested in. DIFFERENT ways i had nowhere, to GO so 380 00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:53,196 Speaker 2: i just ran to the locker room or tried to 381 00:18:53,276 --> 00:18:56,396 Speaker 2: ESCAPE like i. Always did but this is around my 382 00:18:56,756 --> 00:19:00,916 Speaker 2: teammates that we're back in the. Locker room it was around. 383 00:19:00,956 --> 00:19:05,316 Speaker 2: OUR trainers i Feel like i'm having. CARDIAC arrest i 384 00:19:05,356 --> 00:19:07,236 Speaker 2: can't catch, MY breath i can't get oxygen to. MY 385 00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:10,836 Speaker 2: brain I don't i've never had this type of attack, 386 00:19:11,036 --> 00:19:13,356 Speaker 2: happened before so this is. 387 00:19:13,556 --> 00:19:14,996 Speaker 3: LIFE threatening i end. 388 00:19:14,956 --> 00:19:17,676 Speaker 2: Up passed out on the floor of our, Head Trainer steve, 389 00:19:17,716 --> 00:19:20,836 Speaker 2: spirou's office and he's the one who finds. Me THERE 390 00:19:21,476 --> 00:19:23,756 Speaker 2: so i ended. Up leaving, after that they put me. 391 00:19:23,756 --> 00:19:26,116 Speaker 2: On oxygen i'm able to sit back up think, of 392 00:19:26,196 --> 00:19:28,556 Speaker 2: myself what the hell? JUST happened i go and they 393 00:19:28,636 --> 00:19:31,876 Speaker 2: run several tests At the, Cleveland clinic who's and still 394 00:19:31,956 --> 00:19:37,516 Speaker 2: is just, so amazing and everything checks out like there's. 395 00:19:37,556 --> 00:19:40,756 Speaker 2: Nothing Wrong but i'm asking, the question what? 396 00:19:41,116 --> 00:19:41,196 Speaker 3: Just? 397 00:19:41,276 --> 00:19:43,556 Speaker 2: Happened then is this going to? Happen again who's going 398 00:19:43,636 --> 00:19:45,556 Speaker 2: to know. About it so it's like this negative feedback 399 00:19:45,596 --> 00:19:48,516 Speaker 2: LOOP that i don't Know if i'm going to, survive 400 00:19:48,636 --> 00:19:52,276 Speaker 2: professionally and then how is that going to now impact 401 00:19:52,396 --> 00:19:54,956 Speaker 2: not only my livelihood but this safe space that was 402 00:19:55,036 --> 00:19:58,996 Speaker 2: once the. Basketball court so it got a lot worse 403 00:19:59,276 --> 00:20:02,236 Speaker 2: before it. Got BETTER but i think there is a 404 00:20:02,236 --> 00:20:03,876 Speaker 2: lot of good that came. From that it made, Me, 405 00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:05,836 Speaker 2: say okay things aren't. 406 00:20:05,836 --> 00:20:07,156 Speaker 3: ADDING up i need to. 407 00:20:07,236 --> 00:20:10,516 Speaker 2: Change something so it was my FIRST time i had gone, 408 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:14,676 Speaker 2: to THERAPY and i was incredibly lucky to find a. 409 00:20:14,716 --> 00:20:18,036 Speaker 2: Great therapist he just said in my medication, this morning 410 00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:24,836 Speaker 2: so RESPECT but i had finally come to Terms, that 411 00:20:25,076 --> 00:20:28,156 Speaker 2: okay it's time to start doing. 412 00:20:28,196 --> 00:20:30,556 Speaker 4: The work so amazing to hear you talk about this 413 00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:34,356 Speaker 4: transition to understanding therapy and being more, self compassionate because 414 00:20:34,636 --> 00:20:36,676 Speaker 4: the amazing thing about the oxygen mask that you put 415 00:20:36,676 --> 00:20:38,796 Speaker 4: on is having put yours, on first you're now able 416 00:20:38,836 --> 00:20:42,516 Speaker 4: to help others put their oxygen. Mask on, YOU know 417 00:20:42,596 --> 00:20:44,956 Speaker 4: i know you as AN amazing, nba PLAYER but i 418 00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:47,956 Speaker 4: first got really familiar with you when you became like 419 00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:48,756 Speaker 4: a huge mental. 420 00:20:48,756 --> 00:20:50,636 Speaker 5: Health advocate tell me about. 421 00:20:50,396 --> 00:20:52,156 Speaker 4: The article that you put out in, twenty eighteen because 422 00:20:52,196 --> 00:20:54,196 Speaker 4: that WAS when i first started hearing your name and 423 00:20:54,316 --> 00:20:55,036 Speaker 4: learning about what you're. 424 00:20:55,116 --> 00:20:58,076 Speaker 2: Up, To right so, FAST forward i go. To therapy 425 00:20:59,556 --> 00:21:02,076 Speaker 2: it Was An all star. That year it's My Fifth all, 426 00:21:02,076 --> 00:21:05,476 Speaker 2: star APPEARANCE and i had a great, year statistically, very, 427 00:21:05,476 --> 00:21:11,636 Speaker 2: efficient statistically producing at a very. High line and then 428 00:21:11,676 --> 00:21:15,916 Speaker 2: a couple of. THINGS happened i had Another Attack oklahoma 429 00:21:15,916 --> 00:21:21,596 Speaker 2: CITY that i am recently just starting to speak about because, 430 00:21:22,676 --> 00:21:24,676 Speaker 2: You know i've had to unpack my team kind of 431 00:21:25,156 --> 00:21:29,196 Speaker 2: at the time turning. On me after, THAT game i 432 00:21:29,196 --> 00:21:32,996 Speaker 2: had mispracticed the, next day and everybody, was, like, no, 433 00:21:32,996 --> 00:21:36,036 Speaker 2: no we need to, address THIS and i just wasn't ready, 434 00:21:36,076 --> 00:21:38,356 Speaker 2: to expose LIKE what i was going through at. The 435 00:21:38,396 --> 00:21:43,116 Speaker 2: time we LEFT for I Think, san antonio AND again i. 436 00:21:43,116 --> 00:21:46,836 Speaker 2: Felt isolated my anxiety went absolutely through, the ROOF and 437 00:21:46,876 --> 00:21:49,036 Speaker 2: i still had to go out there, and compete AND 438 00:21:49,076 --> 00:21:50,716 Speaker 2: so i FELT like i was on. An island and that, 439 00:21:50,796 --> 00:21:52,676 Speaker 2: same trip we Were, IN detroit i broke, My hand 440 00:21:52,716 --> 00:21:54,796 Speaker 2: so again the game was taken away. FROM me i 441 00:21:54,796 --> 00:21:58,436 Speaker 2: had NO outlet i know where. To go, It's, like 442 00:21:58,516 --> 00:22:00,636 Speaker 2: okay here's, a game we're paying this guy, Helps money 443 00:22:00,876 --> 00:22:03,076 Speaker 2: we're supposed to go to. The finals we have no 444 00:22:03,116 --> 00:22:04,916 Speaker 2: idea what's going on with. Our teammate we feel like 445 00:22:04,956 --> 00:22:07,516 Speaker 2: we can't. TRUST him i think it was that as 446 00:22:07,516 --> 00:22:12,156 Speaker 2: well as our our. MEDIA availability i started getting questions 447 00:22:12,516 --> 00:22:18,316 Speaker 2: in front of a group about my, mental health and that, 448 00:22:19,476 --> 00:22:24,356 Speaker 2: scared ME and i didn't want anybody to tell my story. 449 00:22:24,996 --> 00:22:27,036 Speaker 2: BUT me i had to have it be in my, 450 00:22:27,116 --> 00:22:30,316 Speaker 2: own WORDS and i told, MY agent i wrote, the 451 00:22:30,356 --> 00:22:33,196 Speaker 2: same made, some adjustments only wanted to take it so 452 00:22:33,356 --> 00:22:35,036 Speaker 2: far at that POINT because i. 453 00:22:35,076 --> 00:22:35,756 Speaker 3: Was scared it's. 454 00:22:35,876 --> 00:22:38,756 Speaker 2: REALLY scared i didn't know what this was going. To 455 00:22:38,876 --> 00:22:42,076 Speaker 2: do is this going to? End everything is this going 456 00:22:42,116 --> 00:22:45,396 Speaker 2: to end my? Basketball career and what is pressing send going? 457 00:22:45,476 --> 00:22:49,956 Speaker 2: To DO but i THINK one i was. Just exhausted it, 458 00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:52,756 Speaker 2: was EXHAUSTED and i was playing this character and putting on. 459 00:22:52,756 --> 00:22:57,756 Speaker 2: THIS facade i was just tired of struggling and being 460 00:22:57,756 --> 00:23:00,356 Speaker 2: in a, terrible place in silence and in. The shadows 461 00:23:00,436 --> 00:23:05,396 Speaker 2: so press end and then my life inherently. 462 00:23:05,596 --> 00:23:08,956 Speaker 1: Changed forever the article published in twenty eighteen In The 463 00:23:09,116 --> 00:23:13,516 Speaker 1: player's tribune Was titled everyone is Going. Through something, In 464 00:23:13,556 --> 00:23:17,036 Speaker 1: it kevin acknowledged his mental, health struggles describe the panic 465 00:23:17,036 --> 00:23:19,316 Speaker 1: attack as a turning point and his decision to seek 466 00:23:19,356 --> 00:23:22,716 Speaker 1: help and encourage others facing similar challenges to do. The 467 00:23:22,716 --> 00:23:27,916 Speaker 1: same the Reaction to kevin's piece was. OVERWHELMINGLY positive i 468 00:23:27,996 --> 00:23:28,636 Speaker 1: would have never. 469 00:23:29,196 --> 00:23:32,636 Speaker 2: EXPECTED it, i thought in, the comments people are going, to, 470 00:23:32,716 --> 00:23:35,836 Speaker 2: say like you're, a bitch and how are these guys 471 00:23:35,876 --> 00:23:38,116 Speaker 2: going to be able to be with him out there 472 00:23:38,116 --> 00:23:40,196 Speaker 2: on the core when he knows he struggles with this 473 00:23:40,396 --> 00:23:41,476 Speaker 2: and is he just going to leave? 474 00:23:41,516 --> 00:23:43,556 Speaker 3: ANOTHER game, i mean. 475 00:23:43,556 --> 00:23:48,996 Speaker 2: It's primitive we're so it's ingrained in, us psychologically like 476 00:23:49,236 --> 00:23:54,836 Speaker 2: to perceive. Threat FIRST and i think, as athletes criticism 477 00:23:55,236 --> 00:23:57,916 Speaker 2: is a tax. On success if we do decide to 478 00:23:57,956 --> 00:23:59,556 Speaker 2: go through the comments and we want to respond, to 479 00:23:59,596 --> 00:24:01,836 Speaker 2: people and we go through and it's all these great 480 00:24:01,916 --> 00:24:04,956 Speaker 2: things and it's like we're relating to people and there's 481 00:24:04,996 --> 00:24:08,396 Speaker 2: empathy or there's just like you know that, raw rah, 482 00:24:08,436 --> 00:24:10,516 Speaker 2: like yes like this, is great and then. 483 00:24:10,436 --> 00:24:13,116 Speaker 3: It's like, you know you suck and we're like that's. 484 00:24:13,156 --> 00:24:14,356 Speaker 3: The one, but yeah. 485 00:24:14,396 --> 00:24:18,716 Speaker 2: OVERWHELMINGLY positive i think we had ten thousand plus emails 486 00:24:18,756 --> 00:24:20,556 Speaker 2: in the first week we had. TO create i mean 487 00:24:20,556 --> 00:24:24,556 Speaker 2: my inboxes, were full my texts, were full and then 488 00:24:24,556 --> 00:24:26,716 Speaker 2: we had to create a separate email because there was 489 00:24:26,836 --> 00:24:30,516 Speaker 2: just so. Many people there were so many people that 490 00:24:30,556 --> 00:24:34,076 Speaker 2: had reached out and shared, their stories whether it be 491 00:24:34,596 --> 00:24:37,476 Speaker 2: their first hand experience with their own mental health or 492 00:24:37,516 --> 00:24:41,716 Speaker 2: their child's. Mental health that was incredibly. Eye opening. Press sad, 493 00:24:41,796 --> 00:24:46,316 Speaker 2: that morning we had left for a multiple game road 494 00:24:46,316 --> 00:24:50,276 Speaker 2: TRIP and i was back playing at. That point we 495 00:24:50,356 --> 00:24:54,036 Speaker 2: meet at the plane three, pm DEPARTURE and i remember 496 00:24:54,076 --> 00:24:56,436 Speaker 2: just sitting in, my seat throwing my, hoodie on throwing my. 497 00:24:56,436 --> 00:24:58,996 Speaker 2: Headphones on, i'm like what are my teammates? Gonna think 498 00:24:59,436 --> 00:25:01,636 Speaker 2: what are my teammates going? To THINK but I Remember 499 00:25:01,716 --> 00:25:05,876 Speaker 2: kyle korber coming across the aisle and shaking my hand 500 00:25:05,996 --> 00:25:09,356 Speaker 2: and just telling me that there's going to be. Something 501 00:25:09,396 --> 00:25:11,036 Speaker 2: here you're going to make a huge difference in. People's 502 00:25:11,076 --> 00:25:15,236 Speaker 2: lives and that was my first time where my shoulders had, 503 00:25:15,276 --> 00:25:17,436 Speaker 2: just dropped like maybe this is going to. Be okay 504 00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:20,756 Speaker 2: we'd gone through. THE flight i slept and might just 505 00:25:20,796 --> 00:25:22,756 Speaker 2: like turned to the side towards the window and, you 506 00:25:22,756 --> 00:25:25,356 Speaker 2: know ACTED like i. Wasn't available i'm always the first off. 507 00:25:25,356 --> 00:25:27,116 Speaker 2: THE plane i like to just go and get settled 508 00:25:27,596 --> 00:25:30,316 Speaker 2: on the bus and sitting there the, whole time like 509 00:25:30,396 --> 00:25:33,476 Speaker 2: just get me to, my room the, bus stops everybody, 510 00:25:33,516 --> 00:25:37,116 Speaker 2: gets off and then it's, You know lebron who comes, 511 00:25:37,116 --> 00:25:39,596 Speaker 2: to me just kind of shakes my hand in like 512 00:25:40,036 --> 00:25:42,836 Speaker 2: knowing approval and kind of wraps me up in the. 513 00:25:42,876 --> 00:25:45,956 Speaker 2: Big hug and that was, you know you spend almost 514 00:25:45,996 --> 00:25:48,956 Speaker 2: more time with your teammates in that space than you 515 00:25:48,996 --> 00:25:51,436 Speaker 2: do your, actual family so they. Become family but that 516 00:25:51,716 --> 00:25:54,516 Speaker 2: just pushed our our friendship and our brotherhood into. 517 00:25:54,956 --> 00:25:57,036 Speaker 4: NEW space, i mean you're making it such that any 518 00:25:57,076 --> 00:25:59,156 Speaker 4: basketball player can be more than a, basketball. 519 00:25:59,156 --> 00:25:59,956 Speaker 5: Player right they can, be. 520 00:25:59,996 --> 00:26:03,236 Speaker 4: Vulnerable they, can struggle and also they can have an identity. 521 00:26:03,356 --> 00:26:05,396 Speaker 4: BEYOND it i think one of the amazing things is 522 00:26:05,436 --> 00:26:07,796 Speaker 4: that now forever you to be known not just as 523 00:26:07,796 --> 00:26:10,796 Speaker 4: an amazing, basketball player also as an advocate for these. 524 00:26:10,836 --> 00:26:12,756 Speaker 4: IMPORTANT issues, i mean what does that feel like now 525 00:26:12,796 --> 00:26:15,756 Speaker 4: to be kind of to have come from being so 526 00:26:15,916 --> 00:26:18,916 Speaker 4: scared about talking, about this from such a hyper masculine 527 00:26:18,916 --> 00:26:20,956 Speaker 4: culture to now being in some ways the face of 528 00:26:21,036 --> 00:26:22,076 Speaker 4: talking about mental health. 529 00:26:21,956 --> 00:26:24,236 Speaker 2: And right there is a weight, to it but at the, 530 00:26:24,276 --> 00:26:28,316 Speaker 2: same time just speaking about it gives me LEVITY because 531 00:26:29,116 --> 00:26:29,836 Speaker 2: i get to be an. 532 00:26:29,836 --> 00:26:32,036 Speaker 3: Open book, I'm allowed i'm empowered to be. 533 00:26:32,276 --> 00:26:34,836 Speaker 5: Like open, The curtain, you're like. Curtains, open yeah this IS. 534 00:26:34,836 --> 00:26:37,796 Speaker 2: Who i am and this is what. You, get honestly 535 00:26:37,796 --> 00:26:39,636 Speaker 2: if you don't, like it that's your problem because my 536 00:26:40,076 --> 00:26:44,596 Speaker 2: intention is to help the next person and it's just 537 00:26:44,716 --> 00:26:47,836 Speaker 2: authentic TO who, i am and it IS who i want, 538 00:26:47,876 --> 00:26:49,436 Speaker 2: to Be and i'm, not PERFECT like i think that's 539 00:26:49,436 --> 00:26:50,996 Speaker 2: the beauty of. It too it's like, with basketball you 540 00:26:50,996 --> 00:26:52,636 Speaker 2: can wake up every day and, Be like i'm going to. 541 00:26:52,676 --> 00:26:54,756 Speaker 2: Get better you can never get too big to do the. 542 00:26:54,756 --> 00:26:56,836 Speaker 2: Little things you can never get too big to refine. 543 00:26:56,836 --> 00:26:58,996 Speaker 2: Your skills and THAT'S how i feel about what we're 544 00:26:59,036 --> 00:26:59,516 Speaker 2: doing here in. 545 00:26:59,556 --> 00:27:00,636 Speaker 3: This space it's going. 546 00:27:00,596 --> 00:27:03,636 Speaker 2: To take a, long time but, LONG term i think, 547 00:27:04,276 --> 00:27:08,196 Speaker 2: legacy naturally as a, basketball player you talk about that word, 548 00:27:08,236 --> 00:27:11,796 Speaker 2: A lot But now i've started to think about like 549 00:27:12,276 --> 00:27:14,076 Speaker 2: legacy virtues versus. 550 00:27:14,436 --> 00:27:15,876 Speaker 3: Eulogy virtues it's been. 551 00:27:15,916 --> 00:27:20,876 Speaker 2: Deaths Obviously, brian wilson, my FATHER and i think about 552 00:27:21,356 --> 00:27:22,356 Speaker 2: what are people. 553 00:27:22,116 --> 00:27:25,716 Speaker 3: Going to SAY when. I pass are they going to say. 554 00:27:25,956 --> 00:27:29,996 Speaker 2: He BROKE the NBA and aba merger for double doubles 555 00:27:30,036 --> 00:27:34,236 Speaker 2: when he played in his. Third, Season, No no they're 556 00:27:34,236 --> 00:27:37,116 Speaker 2: going to talk about how he made. People feel they're 557 00:27:37,116 --> 00:27:40,316 Speaker 2: going to talk about, His relationships they're going to talk 558 00:27:40,356 --> 00:27:43,916 Speaker 2: about how he made an impact on other. PEOPLE'S lives, i, mean, 559 00:27:43,956 --> 00:27:47,036 Speaker 2: like sure they'll touch. On basketball but what my hope 560 00:27:47,076 --> 00:27:49,316 Speaker 2: IS when i get to, that POINT if i just 561 00:27:49,676 --> 00:27:52,556 Speaker 2: be my authentic self and be more comfortable in my 562 00:27:52,596 --> 00:27:55,356 Speaker 2: own skin by exposing, these things that when that, time 563 00:27:55,396 --> 00:27:58,756 Speaker 2: comes it's going to be more about eulogy. Than legacy 564 00:27:58,876 --> 00:28:01,196 Speaker 2: but my hope would BE if i keep living my 565 00:28:01,236 --> 00:28:04,036 Speaker 2: life with that type, of intention that the universe will 566 00:28:04,116 --> 00:28:04,796 Speaker 2: unfold as. 567 00:28:04,796 --> 00:28:07,876 Speaker 1: It should so what does living with that kind of 568 00:28:07,876 --> 00:28:11,396 Speaker 1: intention look Like for? Kevin today after, the break we'll 569 00:28:11,396 --> 00:28:13,756 Speaker 1: talk About how kevin is trying to break the stigma 570 00:28:13,796 --> 00:28:17,276 Speaker 1: for the next generation. Of Athletes The happiness lab will be. 571 00:28:17,356 --> 00:28:18,116 Speaker 3: Right BACK. 572 00:28:26,876 --> 00:28:30,036 Speaker 1: When Nba Star kevin love finally went public about his mental, 573 00:28:30,036 --> 00:28:33,716 Speaker 1: health struggles the response. Was overwhelming it was clear that 574 00:28:33,756 --> 00:28:36,356 Speaker 1: people were hungry to change the stigma that so many. 575 00:28:36,396 --> 00:28:41,276 Speaker 1: Athletes Face Enter The Kevin, love fund a nonprofit dedicated 576 00:28:41,316 --> 00:28:44,076 Speaker 1: to helping the next generation develop the skills they need 577 00:28:44,276 --> 00:28:46,996 Speaker 1: to manage mental. Health challenges and. 578 00:28:46,956 --> 00:28:50,756 Speaker 2: We wanted to support both physical and, emotional wellbeing and 579 00:28:50,796 --> 00:28:53,756 Speaker 2: we wanted to just keep having these conversations to eliminate 580 00:28:53,796 --> 00:28:58,676 Speaker 2: the stigma and provide resources educate. As WELL and i 581 00:28:58,756 --> 00:29:01,956 Speaker 2: think that education space IS where i look back and 582 00:29:02,036 --> 00:29:06,676 Speaker 2: coming into, high school all of, those, expectations, athletics college 583 00:29:06,676 --> 00:29:08,676 Speaker 2: you have to consider those things much. Younger NOW but 584 00:29:09,516 --> 00:29:11,836 Speaker 2: I know i didn't have, The LANGUAGE but, i thought 585 00:29:11,876 --> 00:29:15,916 Speaker 2: if we can learn about physical health and, sexual health 586 00:29:16,556 --> 00:29:21,276 Speaker 2: why aren't we being taught about emotions and? Mental health 587 00:29:21,276 --> 00:29:24,476 Speaker 2: why aren't we putting this into. The CLASSROOM so i 588 00:29:24,516 --> 00:29:30,076 Speaker 2: thought it would be really meaningful because everybody's going through 589 00:29:30,116 --> 00:29:32,436 Speaker 2: something that you. Can't see how can we implement this 590 00:29:32,556 --> 00:29:37,396 Speaker 2: into the classroom starting at that age and create a 591 00:29:37,436 --> 00:29:42,716 Speaker 2: curriculum that's modeled. Around vulnerability Sarah and elier educators have 592 00:29:42,836 --> 00:29:46,036 Speaker 2: done such an incredible job in rounding out this curriculum 593 00:29:46,076 --> 00:29:49,116 Speaker 2: and continuing to add to it and get it taught 594 00:29:49,116 --> 00:29:52,276 Speaker 2: in many different countries and many, different languages and continuing to. 595 00:29:52,356 --> 00:29:54,476 Speaker 2: Grow it, right now we're working on getting it into 596 00:29:54,636 --> 00:29:56,756 Speaker 2: the third largest school district in, the country And. That's 597 00:29:56,796 --> 00:29:58,436 Speaker 2: miami part of. 598 00:29:58,396 --> 00:30:01,596 Speaker 1: This new curriculum involves prompts designed to help students open 599 00:30:01,676 --> 00:30:04,636 Speaker 1: up about the things they're, struggling with but teachers get 600 00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:07,956 Speaker 1: to answer first modeling what a response looks like and 601 00:30:07,996 --> 00:30:11,316 Speaker 1: showing that adults are. VULNERABLE too I asked kevin to 602 00:30:11,316 --> 00:30:13,676 Speaker 1: tell me about an experience from early in the programs, 603 00:30:13,676 --> 00:30:16,836 Speaker 1: develop it one that made him realize just how powerful 604 00:30:16,876 --> 00:30:17,236 Speaker 1: this work. 605 00:30:17,236 --> 00:30:20,116 Speaker 3: Could be, you know the teacher. Models it they go around. 606 00:30:20,156 --> 00:30:23,236 Speaker 2: The classroom and the amazing part about that day was 607 00:30:23,796 --> 00:30:26,676 Speaker 2: the basketball team and some of the football team was in, 608 00:30:26,716 --> 00:30:30,036 Speaker 2: that classroom and once we got, to them, you know 609 00:30:30,076 --> 00:30:32,516 Speaker 2: they were kind of hiding, AND like i don't want, 610 00:30:32,556 --> 00:30:34,476 Speaker 2: to share but we just kept going around and then 611 00:30:34,476 --> 00:30:37,876 Speaker 2: we got, to THEM and i remember the first share 612 00:30:37,996 --> 00:30:40,356 Speaker 2: he had, talked about, YOU know i come to school 613 00:30:40,396 --> 00:30:44,996 Speaker 2: to get food and my dad's, not around and my 614 00:30:45,076 --> 00:30:48,756 Speaker 2: mom's having to work with my SISTERS and i don't 615 00:30:48,796 --> 00:30:50,196 Speaker 2: get enough time, with her and it's just. 616 00:30:50,236 --> 00:30:52,276 Speaker 3: Two Jobs and i'm, just like this. 617 00:30:52,396 --> 00:30:55,836 Speaker 4: Is amazing like everybody's open amazed in, that. Classroom right 618 00:30:55,876 --> 00:30:57,676 Speaker 4: they can amise, each other they can help, each other 619 00:30:57,756 --> 00:30:58,076 Speaker 4: and this is. 620 00:30:58,516 --> 00:31:01,916 Speaker 3: An athlete like at, THAT age i WAS like i wasn't. 621 00:31:01,716 --> 00:31:06,396 Speaker 2: Doing THAT but i just want to tell everybody, out 622 00:31:06,436 --> 00:31:08,756 Speaker 2: there like it's a free curriculum and so this is 623 00:31:08,756 --> 00:31:12,076 Speaker 2: something that you can integrate into. Any school, you know 624 00:31:12,116 --> 00:31:15,636 Speaker 2: this is a you know as potential to really have 625 00:31:15,956 --> 00:31:17,876 Speaker 2: a huge impact on a. Kid's life and it's just 626 00:31:17,956 --> 00:31:20,996 Speaker 2: early intervention in a time where, you know in your 627 00:31:20,996 --> 00:31:24,236 Speaker 2: early teens you start to really feel what being self. 628 00:31:24,316 --> 00:31:26,276 Speaker 3: Conscious IS like i. 629 00:31:26,316 --> 00:31:29,796 Speaker 4: Certainly did it's, early intervention but it might also be. Generational. Intervention, 630 00:31:29,956 --> 00:31:33,076 Speaker 4: yes yes those kids on the football team who started 631 00:31:33,116 --> 00:31:35,436 Speaker 4: talking about how the food and security makes, them feel 632 00:31:35,796 --> 00:31:37,516 Speaker 4: that's going to mean that it's easier for them to do. 633 00:31:37,556 --> 00:31:39,636 Speaker 5: It right they have a kid who's on the football, team. 634 00:31:39,476 --> 00:31:42,836 Speaker 2: Yearsly and it just goes to show you WITH what 635 00:31:42,876 --> 00:31:45,516 Speaker 2: i said OR what i wrote in, that article is 636 00:31:45,556 --> 00:31:48,436 Speaker 2: that everybody's going through something that you, can't, See right 637 00:31:48,636 --> 00:31:52,196 Speaker 2: so let's. Be compassionate let's allow ourselves to be a. 638 00:31:52,236 --> 00:31:54,556 Speaker 2: Sounding board pay, it forward if you want to use. 639 00:31:54,556 --> 00:32:02,516 Speaker 2: Your voice there is room for. Generational healing kid brought 640 00:32:02,516 --> 00:32:05,596 Speaker 2: a sign to a game that said everybody's going, through 641 00:32:05,636 --> 00:32:08,556 Speaker 2: SOMETHING and i told our security, or like grab him, 642 00:32:08,796 --> 00:32:11,516 Speaker 2: for me grab him and his family. For me and 643 00:32:11,556 --> 00:32:14,876 Speaker 2: he came BACK and i just spoke to the FAMILY 644 00:32:15,236 --> 00:32:17,916 Speaker 2: and i started to realize through what they said that 645 00:32:18,836 --> 00:32:22,796 Speaker 2: you're not just changing the, kid's life you're changing how 646 00:32:22,836 --> 00:32:28,116 Speaker 2: he's relating with, his, friends potentially, his team, his teachers, 647 00:32:28,716 --> 00:32:33,956 Speaker 2: his family. His community what is changing that one life actually? 648 00:32:33,996 --> 00:32:34,596 Speaker 3: Look like what does? 649 00:32:34,636 --> 00:32:36,876 Speaker 2: IT do i don't know if we can quantify it 650 00:32:36,996 --> 00:32:41,156 Speaker 2: or it's something that you, can measure but there's a 651 00:32:41,156 --> 00:32:44,836 Speaker 2: LOT of i think healing to be had through, all 652 00:32:44,876 --> 00:32:49,516 Speaker 2: that and it's not just that. One person it has 653 00:32:49,636 --> 00:32:53,556 Speaker 2: a ripple effect that is just an. Amazing thing and 654 00:32:53,636 --> 00:32:54,916 Speaker 2: seeing it firsthand is. 655 00:32:55,396 --> 00:32:58,796 Speaker 4: IT'S inspiring i remember when your article came out and 656 00:32:58,796 --> 00:33:00,836 Speaker 4: it get sent to me by like tons and tons 657 00:33:00,916 --> 00:33:04,596 Speaker 4: of my students and many of my student athletes, Were 658 00:33:04,596 --> 00:33:06,956 Speaker 4: like i'm so happy he. Said it because only you 659 00:33:07,116 --> 00:33:08,956 Speaker 4: know you're an all star you can say it can't 660 00:33:08,996 --> 00:33:11,396 Speaker 4: be somebody who hasn't achieved the things that, you did which. 661 00:33:11,436 --> 00:33:13,276 Speaker 5: Is, sad yeah but it doesn't meant. 662 00:33:13,316 --> 00:33:15,556 Speaker 2: So much we've worked with a lot of student athletes 663 00:33:15,596 --> 00:33:18,276 Speaker 2: and it's. Been amazing and after they come out of 664 00:33:18,276 --> 00:33:21,596 Speaker 2: college and they struggle, With identity but how do you 665 00:33:22,476 --> 00:33:27,876 Speaker 2: help these student athletes and their coaches have these conversations 666 00:33:27,956 --> 00:33:30,836 Speaker 2: because you know these colleges or institutions that. 667 00:33:31,116 --> 00:33:31,996 Speaker 3: You know now money. 668 00:33:32,076 --> 00:33:35,956 Speaker 2: Is involved it makes it so much More complex at, 669 00:33:35,956 --> 00:33:38,236 Speaker 2: that age a kid is even. More worried it has 670 00:33:38,276 --> 00:33:41,276 Speaker 2: even more Pressure, about OKAY if i expose THIS or i, 671 00:33:41,396 --> 00:33:43,476 Speaker 2: tell this like this college isn't going to, Want me 672 00:33:43,556 --> 00:33:46,156 Speaker 2: they're going to take away. My, scholarship yeah it's. 673 00:33:45,996 --> 00:33:47,956 Speaker 3: Not UNLIKE what i had at the at the. 674 00:33:48,036 --> 00:33:51,436 Speaker 2: Highest level But also i've already, made It like i'm 675 00:33:51,436 --> 00:33:54,876 Speaker 2: already in. THIS space i can't imagine the pressures but 676 00:33:54,916 --> 00:33:57,516 Speaker 2: also the pain of having to feel like you need 677 00:33:57,556 --> 00:34:00,156 Speaker 2: to hide that with your coaches or with, you know 678 00:34:00,196 --> 00:34:02,116 Speaker 2: these people that are potentially going to give you an 679 00:34:02,116 --> 00:34:05,036 Speaker 2: opportunity of a lifetime and in high school that might 680 00:34:05,076 --> 00:34:06,236 Speaker 2: be the only chance that. 681 00:34:06,316 --> 00:34:08,996 Speaker 4: You HAVE but i think you opening up, the conversation 682 00:34:09,156 --> 00:34:12,316 Speaker 4: it MEANS that i think college high school coaches will have. 683 00:34:12,356 --> 00:34:15,156 Speaker 2: The conversation so That's the, it's like, you know the teacher, 684 00:34:16,596 --> 00:34:19,556 Speaker 2: models it it has to be. The coaches i'm very 685 00:34:19,556 --> 00:34:22,516 Speaker 2: proud to be part OF the nba who's backed us 686 00:34:22,596 --> 00:34:24,396 Speaker 2: so much in this and been driving, for us and 687 00:34:24,396 --> 00:34:27,236 Speaker 2: they'll continue to evolve in. This space, but Really The miami, 688 00:34:27,276 --> 00:34:31,036 Speaker 2: Heat coach Spolstra coach bo he's so open to these 689 00:34:31,036 --> 00:34:33,836 Speaker 2: conversations and sometimes he'll just bring it in and be like. 690 00:34:34,316 --> 00:34:37,356 Speaker 2: Blackout day nobody, come in get, some sun get some. 691 00:34:37,436 --> 00:34:39,756 Speaker 2: Vitamin date it's good, for, you right spend time with, 692 00:34:39,796 --> 00:34:41,676 Speaker 2: your families play the long game because we. 693 00:34:41,756 --> 00:34:43,476 Speaker 3: Need that it's an. 694 00:34:43,556 --> 00:34:46,916 Speaker 2: Unforgiving league so when he, models that and he's one 695 00:34:46,916 --> 00:34:50,036 Speaker 2: of the greatest coaches of, all time and we Have Doctor, 696 00:34:50,196 --> 00:34:54,396 Speaker 2: derek anderson who's our licensed therapist, on staff. He's amazing 697 00:34:54,756 --> 00:34:58,516 Speaker 2: so that also gives me hope that that will then 698 00:34:58,636 --> 00:35:02,556 Speaker 2: trickle down to college athletes as well as high. School 699 00:35:02,596 --> 00:35:04,836 Speaker 2: athletes and there's always going to be exceptions to. The 700 00:35:04,916 --> 00:35:07,876 Speaker 2: rule there's going to be people that aren't open. To 701 00:35:07,916 --> 00:35:10,036 Speaker 2: this but, you know vulnerability. Is. 702 00:35:10,236 --> 00:35:12,196 Speaker 3: Superpower strength well. 703 00:35:12,036 --> 00:35:14,716 Speaker 4: Also raises a question of like what's actually going to make? 704 00:35:14,836 --> 00:35:17,556 Speaker 4: Play better and we could say play better on the court, 705 00:35:17,556 --> 00:35:21,236 Speaker 4: that night but also, play better, you know having a 706 00:35:20,796 --> 00:35:23,796 Speaker 4: long career of longevity with your injuries where you, don't 707 00:35:23,916 --> 00:35:26,796 Speaker 4: know blow yourself up and get canceled on. Social media you're, so, 708 00:35:26,916 --> 00:35:29,196 Speaker 4: ANGRY right, I mean i think we really need to 709 00:35:29,196 --> 00:35:30,716 Speaker 4: have a conversation of whether or. 710 00:35:30,756 --> 00:35:32,036 Speaker 3: Not it could be a. 711 00:35:32,076 --> 00:35:34,436 Speaker 4: Better, PRODUCT well i think even just, you know in 712 00:35:34,516 --> 00:35:37,716 Speaker 4: terms of like, physical performance we figured. That out, you 713 00:35:37,716 --> 00:35:40,196 Speaker 4: know people get. Rest days, you know you, take. BREAKS 714 00:35:40,276 --> 00:35:42,636 Speaker 4: right i think we've come to realize that the body 715 00:35:42,716 --> 00:35:44,956 Speaker 4: is not just this crazy machine that you, push, push, push. 716 00:35:45,036 --> 00:35:46,796 Speaker 4: RIGHT right i think when we come to think about 717 00:35:46,796 --> 00:35:51,316 Speaker 4: people's mental health their human performance side, of things we 718 00:35:51,556 --> 00:35:53,796 Speaker 4: probably need to be a little bit more compassionate, there 719 00:35:53,836 --> 00:35:56,276 Speaker 4: too and ultimately like the result will be. Better off 720 00:35:56,836 --> 00:35:58,276 Speaker 4: thank you so much for all the great work that 721 00:35:58,316 --> 00:36:00,516 Speaker 4: you're doing and where can folks learn About The kevin 722 00:36:00,556 --> 00:36:02,236 Speaker 4: love fun kevinlovefund. 723 00:36:02,356 --> 00:36:05,076 Speaker 2: Dot org and thank you as well for being. AN 724 00:36:05,836 --> 00:36:08,516 Speaker 2: ally i always say like we're, tribal beings we should 725 00:36:08,516 --> 00:36:11,356 Speaker 2: start acting, like it and we are part of a. 726 00:36:11,396 --> 00:36:13,916 Speaker 2: Tribe together this is. Community driven we all want to 727 00:36:13,956 --> 00:36:15,876 Speaker 2: be on the winning side. Of HISTORY but i think it's. 728 00:36:15,916 --> 00:36:21,076 Speaker 1: ALL hope i hope we're finally at the beginning of 729 00:36:21,116 --> 00:36:23,996 Speaker 1: a mental, health revolution but there's still lots of work 730 00:36:24,036 --> 00:36:26,756 Speaker 1: that each of us can do to fight. The, stigma 731 00:36:26,956 --> 00:36:30,876 Speaker 1: First as kevin's viral article, put it remember everyone is 732 00:36:30,916 --> 00:36:34,196 Speaker 1: going through something and a little compassion can go a very. 733 00:36:34,236 --> 00:36:37,716 Speaker 1: Long way so if you're a teacher or, a coach 734 00:36:37,836 --> 00:36:40,276 Speaker 1: or a parent or, a leader it's vital that you 735 00:36:40,356 --> 00:36:42,876 Speaker 1: model vulnerability to the people who look up, to you 736 00:36:43,356 --> 00:36:46,596 Speaker 1: and give yourself a little. Compassion too by, doing so 737 00:36:46,876 --> 00:36:49,436 Speaker 1: we can help the next generation break the cycle and 738 00:36:49,476 --> 00:36:54,276 Speaker 1: feel safe having tough. Conversations Openly The happiness lab will 739 00:36:54,316 --> 00:36:58,076 Speaker 1: soon be back with A spectacular. Halloween episode we'll be 740 00:36:58,116 --> 00:37:01,236 Speaker 1: exploring the connection between fear. And joy we'll speak to 741 00:37:01,276 --> 00:37:04,996 Speaker 1: a behavioral scientist who's studying why certain people just love 742 00:37:05,276 --> 00:37:08,396 Speaker 1: to Be scared. All that next time On The, Happiness 743 00:37:08,476 --> 00:37:11,396 Speaker 1: Lab Doctor laurie santos