1 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,399 Speaker 1: Welcome back to back to our happy hours, golden hour. 2 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,080 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for joining us today and we 3 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 1: are so excited to be back. Susan, how are you today, 4 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 1: your little snow bunny. How's it going? 5 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 2: I'm telling you what, I'm sure couthy if that's not 6 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:26,520 Speaker 2: a workout, shoveling eight nine ten inches of snow, and 7 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 2: it's some work. And when it was coming down yesterday 8 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:35,640 Speaker 2: or Sunday, yes, it wasn't bad. But then it got 9 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 2: coated with ice sleep, so we're picking up boulders of ice, 10 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,240 Speaker 2: throwing them across the road. My back is killed. 11 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:47,360 Speaker 1: Sorry, get some vodka. You'll be fine. So I have 12 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: to tell you, you know, I went to Lakinge to visit 13 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: a friend. Came. Two things have to tell you. One this, 14 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,720 Speaker 1: this whole country has had pretty much had this storm. 15 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:58,560 Speaker 1: I'm stuck with my daughters because you know, I live 16 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 1: in the hills and it's all ice. It's barely above freezing. 17 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:06,480 Speaker 1: You can't there's cars in the ditches everywhere because we 18 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:09,560 Speaker 1: don't have plows. We don't have salt except the highways, 19 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,040 Speaker 1: so you literally wait for to melt. So I'm cooling 20 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,080 Speaker 1: my heels at my daughter's house. But I just have 21 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 1: to tell you the funniest thing. So I went to 22 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 1: this friend in Lakitta and he had great stuff playing. 23 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,400 Speaker 1: We did the tram in Palm Springs, beautiful views, we 24 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 1: did just lots of fun things. One night, though, he 25 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,920 Speaker 1: took me to the Purple Room, which is in Palm 26 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 1: Springs and it's where the rat Pack used to sing. 27 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 1: And as soon as we walked in, he doesn't like 28 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,920 Speaker 1: it when people recognize me. He's just a friend, by 29 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:42,000 Speaker 1: the way, not a date. He doesn't like it. Well, 30 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:45,040 Speaker 1: as soon as I walked in, the host is almost dropped. 31 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 1: Then the made or d drop. It was not good. 32 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 1: They all like, oh my god, you're here. So he 33 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 1: was having a fit. So we sit down. We ordered dinner. 34 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 1: They're sending over free appetizers, they send over a free dessert. 35 00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 1: They're asking for pictures. So we sit, we DrAk. We 36 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 1: get up to leave and we get to the car 37 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: and I said to him, well, thank you so much 38 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:09,080 Speaker 1: for dinner, and he looks at me, goes, you didn't pay, 39 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: and I went, I didn't pay, you didn't pay, and 40 00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 1: he goes, I didn't pay. I said, are you serious. 41 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,440 Speaker 1: We walked back like four blocks to the restaurant. We 42 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: walk in, the server says to me, I've been looking 43 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:21,799 Speaker 1: for you. 44 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 45 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,360 Speaker 1: I was like, I am so sorry, Like, can you 46 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,160 Speaker 1: imagine they've made this big to do of us, and 47 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:29,960 Speaker 1: then it looks like we're skipping out unpaid. 48 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,960 Speaker 2: Wait, can you imagine if you didn't thank him for dinner? Like, 49 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,080 Speaker 2: what is wrong with him? He should know to pay. 50 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,519 Speaker 2: He just assumed you were paying. 51 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:39,079 Speaker 1: You know, I took him out for dinner once, so 52 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 1: I was I don't know, I don't know what he 53 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 1: was thinking, but it was the funniest thing. I didn't pay, 54 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,680 Speaker 1: you didn't pay that we get back there, could not 55 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,680 Speaker 1: stop laughing. Susan could not stop. 56 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,240 Speaker 2: I thought you were going to tell me they camped 57 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:54,680 Speaker 2: the whole thing because they were saying that appetizers. 58 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:55,360 Speaker 1: Well, they were going to have to comp it. But 59 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,239 Speaker 1: I mean they had sent over drink. I mean they 60 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 1: did more than their fair share. But I had to 61 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 1: tell you that I was dying laughing right. 62 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:08,720 Speaker 2: So today, Kathy, we're gonna have a little fun. We 63 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 2: recently did an episode where we asked each other, what's 64 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:18,519 Speaker 2: something you're tired of seeing women put up with? In relationships. Well, 65 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:24,160 Speaker 2: today we're dedicating an entire episode to that concept. Remember 66 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 2: saying that, like we could talk. 67 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,560 Speaker 1: All day about I was gonna say, it's not just 68 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,600 Speaker 1: It's not just one thing. I mean, women put up 69 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 1: with a lot. I think men sometimes do too, but 70 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,720 Speaker 1: I think women put up with more. Do you agree? 71 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 2: I do agree, But I feel as if as we age, 72 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 2: we put up with less. 73 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:45,640 Speaker 1: Oh that is for damn sure. 74 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 2: That is not just with men, with anybody. 75 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,680 Speaker 1: Really. All right, let's get started. We're gonna get started 76 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 1: with the question of the day. I can hardly wait 77 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 1: for this episode. I'm going to start us off. Okay, 78 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 1: why do you think women put up with such terrible 79 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 1: male partners in relationships? And have you noticed a difference 80 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: in women today versus when you were growing up or 81 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 1: does this seem to transcend generations? All right, what do 82 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:13,360 Speaker 1: you think? 83 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:20,280 Speaker 2: It's a huge difference, huge because we came from our parents, 84 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:25,240 Speaker 2: right our parents were you know, I don't dare say this, 85 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 2: but I'm going to like that the mom. Most moms 86 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,280 Speaker 2: didn't work. They were home, raising the kids, cleaning the house, 87 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 2: doing all the chores, cooking all the meals, you know, 88 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:39,640 Speaker 2: taking care of everybody. And then our generation, we were 89 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,920 Speaker 2: taught to be our own person, make our own money. 90 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 2: And now I look at my son and his wife. 91 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,560 Speaker 2: I think I mentioned this before, It might have been 92 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 2: on this sep At that episode that he does his 93 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 2: own laundry. 94 00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:56,560 Speaker 1: I was like, so, I think you've hit on the 95 00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:59,599 Speaker 1: second part of this question is what we're talking about 96 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,240 Speaker 1: right now, and that is changed. The change and that 97 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:07,840 Speaker 1: is because women. More women have careers and so they're 98 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 1: not stay home doing everything. The chores are split more evenly, 99 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,640 Speaker 1: the grocery, shopping, the cooking, the childcare. It's I know 100 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:19,080 Speaker 1: in my daughter and my son, who both have children, 101 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:24,039 Speaker 1: they split it with their spouses. They do, they split, 102 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:28,560 Speaker 1: They do their own laundries, they do cookie right, they do. 103 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 1: I agree, I don't think so. I think that is 104 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: the biggest difference. But why I love the first part 105 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: of this question because I think women put up with 106 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 1: terrible male partners and relationships because they're afraid that's all 107 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:51,040 Speaker 1: they can get, right. They are not the confidence. 108 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,360 Speaker 2: And you're going to have to take all the bad 109 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 2: that comes with them because he supposedly loves you, right, 110 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 2: why not I feel like he and have the proper dreaming. 111 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 1: Well, or that's just who he is. I don't know 112 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,919 Speaker 1: about you, And I've said this before. I would rather 113 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,360 Speaker 1: be alone than have a terrible partner. 114 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 2: There's just I would What is your definition of like, 115 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 2: where's your line? First of all? Anybody abusive that just 116 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 2: goes without saying. 117 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 1: Well, again, at my age, it's going to look it's 118 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 1: going to look very different. I am not going to 119 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 1: date a man who is not a gentleman, who is 120 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 1: not opening the doors for me, who's not going to 121 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:43,200 Speaker 1: share my life, who's not financially stable, all those things. 122 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 1: I'm not doing it. I'd rather be alone. Now, a 123 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,719 Speaker 1: terrible male partner, like you just said, that's a loaded word. 124 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 1: If he's abusive, that's beyond exactly, that's beyond terrible. But 125 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 1: I have known we had this long time ago, Susan. 126 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 1: Do you remember it was a young woman who was 127 00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:08,800 Speaker 1: living with her partner and he earns way more than 128 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:13,520 Speaker 1: she does, and he kept her pay half. Remember that. Yes, 129 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 1: that would be a terrible male partner expecting her to 130 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:22,080 Speaker 1: contribute half when he sets the standard of living and 131 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,240 Speaker 1: she can't afford it. I think that's a terrible male partner. 132 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 1: I think a terrible male partner with the internet. I 133 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,720 Speaker 1: think a lot of guys are checking out what else 134 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,400 Speaker 1: is on the internet, and girls are checking their phones 135 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 1: because they you know, I don't know, why do you 136 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:38,120 Speaker 1: think they put up? 137 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 2: Think a terrible partner is somebody that doesn't want to 138 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:44,960 Speaker 2: pitch in in the household duties, taking out the trash, 139 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,920 Speaker 2: cutting the lawn, like when they don't want to be involved, 140 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,920 Speaker 2: like that's a no go. And then slappy people. 141 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 1: You know how I am, Yes, but you're saying like 142 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,960 Speaker 1: men should take out the trap you're doing You're you're 143 00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 1: defining male roles. No, I take out the trash when 144 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:04,240 Speaker 1: my husband was alive, I want him. If I've got 145 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:08,520 Speaker 1: a partner and you're younger, change the diapers, do the dishes, 146 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,680 Speaker 1: go grocery shopping, walk clean the toilet. You know, it's 147 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 1: not it's not sexist. I'm talking about. I'm talking about 148 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:19,559 Speaker 1: a terrible male partner who it doesn't treat a woman 149 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:24,320 Speaker 1: with respect, who's shopping on the internet for another partner 150 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,240 Speaker 1: and for some odd ball reason they stick. 151 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 2: Around and you're shopping on the internet. That's it's great. 152 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 1: We didn't even say they're married a male partner. They 153 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 1: don't even have to be married. But why are you 154 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 1: sticking around? That would be my question. And I don't know, 155 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:42,040 Speaker 1: but I think it's women have a lack of self confidence. 156 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:44,679 Speaker 1: I know, I hear from a lot of women. You 157 00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:47,080 Speaker 1: know he's not great, But have you looked to see 158 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: what else is out there? So I might as well 159 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:49,800 Speaker 1: stick with this? 160 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:53,040 Speaker 2: Oh, I think it's really I mean, there's there's got 161 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 2: to be a line where there's only so much you 162 00:08:56,640 --> 00:09:00,560 Speaker 2: can deal with. Like you said, a man that is 163 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:04,679 Speaker 2: not polite or is rude to anybody, whether it's your 164 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:08,720 Speaker 2: server in a restaurant or anything, that's just I would 165 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 2: never tell you never you know what is it's embarrassing 166 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,320 Speaker 2: to you, like you didn't even do anything, and if 167 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,400 Speaker 2: you're with somebody that's rude. 168 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,839 Speaker 1: I think I think everyone's got a different idea of 169 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:25,079 Speaker 1: what a terrible male partner is. I think you hit 170 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 1: it on the head at the beginning of this question. 171 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: You and I put up with a lot less at 172 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:36,679 Speaker 1: our Charence, right, yeah, and then young we do that, 173 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,719 Speaker 1: and we also put up with a lot less than 174 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:43,480 Speaker 1: younger people do. Young kids, yeah, I mean they don't 175 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:51,360 Speaker 1: have to, so you know, good for them. 176 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,600 Speaker 2: Now, it's time to answer some of our fan questions, 177 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,200 Speaker 2: which we love doing. You're ready, I'm going to start 178 00:09:57,280 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 2: us off. Okay, this one is from an anonymous Hi, ladies, 179 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:05,960 Speaker 2: I need your help. My best friend told me something concerning, 180 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:10,400 Speaker 2: something concerning about her boyfriend, and I need to know 181 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:15,079 Speaker 2: if I was in the wrong. For context, my bestie 182 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 2: has been with her boyfriend for almost eight years and 183 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:22,840 Speaker 2: they lived together. Over brunch this past weekend, she told 184 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:26,679 Speaker 2: me that she was using his laptop to look something up. 185 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:30,480 Speaker 2: Not uncommon. He's very open and his devices and she 186 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:34,839 Speaker 2: bars his computer all the time. Okay, Well, he left 187 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 2: up his chat GPT conversation that started with the search, 188 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,840 Speaker 2: oh God, how to break up with your long term girlfriend, 189 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 2: along with a prose and con list he had chat 190 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 2: GPT make about her. I told her to dump him 191 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 2: because sorry to say, but duh, but she's refusing to. 192 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,120 Speaker 2: He hasn't even brought it up to him yet. Now 193 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:07,200 Speaker 2: she's kind of icing me out. Did I do something wrong? 194 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 2: I wouldn't have been so brash about it if I 195 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:15,200 Speaker 2: realized she was staying, but by the way she was 196 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:18,160 Speaker 2: talking about it, I just kind of assumed, as I 197 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:22,440 Speaker 2: think anybody would. I was supportive in the conversation, but 198 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:27,840 Speaker 2: couldn't hide how horrific that was. They're still together despite 199 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 2: her finding this stuff over three months ago. What should 200 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:36,800 Speaker 2: I do now? First of all, yeah, First of all, 201 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,240 Speaker 2: I was wrong with that girl that she's not going 202 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:39,880 Speaker 2: to bring it up. 203 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:42,520 Speaker 1: You mean the girlfriend? 204 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 2: Yes? 205 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:49,119 Speaker 1: Okay, two things here, number one, So again, Susan, As always, 206 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:53,160 Speaker 1: we don't have all the information we need. But if 207 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:56,199 Speaker 1: I believe, well. 208 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:59,880 Speaker 2: She's on his computer and chats and do you think 209 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:00,480 Speaker 2: break up? 210 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 1: Do you think perhaps he left chat GBT open on purposely? 211 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:09,040 Speaker 1: On purpose? However, the one question that is missing here 212 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:13,440 Speaker 1: is I didn't, Anonymous. I did not hear your friend 213 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:16,720 Speaker 1: ask you for your opinion, and God knows whosan? You know? 214 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:20,240 Speaker 1: I'm guilty of this all the time. She didn't ask you. 215 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 2: She brought it up at brun she told her what happened, 216 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 2: but she did. If you're a girlfriend, if I'm sitting 217 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:31,800 Speaker 2: there with you, especially, that's a wrong example. If you're 218 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 2: sitting there with me and you tell me this, Did. 219 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,679 Speaker 1: I not tell your opinion? But didn't I not tell you? 220 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,080 Speaker 1: I've learned in twenty twenty six, and have I not 221 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,840 Speaker 1: done better with you? I don't give you my opinion 222 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,840 Speaker 1: unless you ask. Have I not done better? I wouldn't 223 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:47,480 Speaker 1: go that far, but okay, get better? And so I 224 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:50,360 Speaker 1: don't think she asked. I think I think she just 225 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,840 Speaker 1: I mean, I think it's deplorable. But you know, somebody said. 226 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,280 Speaker 2: That to you and you're just going to sit there 227 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,559 Speaker 2: with your mouth closed and not respond. 228 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 1: In twenty twenty six, I'm going to go, that really sucks. 229 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:03,800 Speaker 1: That's really sucks. If that happened to you, say, God, Susan, 230 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,080 Speaker 1: that sucks. But gee, do you think maybe he left 231 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,880 Speaker 1: it open on purpose so you'd find it. But I'm 232 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 1: not going to say to you dump his ass. Old 233 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 1: Kathy would have. So here's here's the deal. She's she's 234 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,760 Speaker 1: she wants. Wait. It begs back to our questions of 235 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,200 Speaker 1: the day. 236 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:23,520 Speaker 2: Why will you tolerate? 237 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:28,880 Speaker 1: What will you tolerate? In my mind, I don't really 238 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:32,240 Speaker 1: think that he's looking it up for his friend. You know, 239 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:34,360 Speaker 1: he's looking it up for him how to break up 240 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:37,680 Speaker 1: with a longtime girlfriend. It's on his computer. He probably 241 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:40,680 Speaker 1: hoped you would find it. But you know what, maybe 242 00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:43,800 Speaker 1: he's cheating on her. Maybe isn't. Again, why is this 243 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:48,240 Speaker 1: girl not asking it? She doesn't want to know. Something 244 00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:49,679 Speaker 1: to her is better than we think. 245 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 2: Be happy living with that information. 246 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:54,920 Speaker 1: As the girlfriend or me? 247 00:13:55,200 --> 00:14:00,199 Speaker 2: Yeah, as the girlfriend now as the person in the relationship. Yeah, 248 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,200 Speaker 2: that's the way. Anonymous. Yeah, first of all, Anonymous, I 249 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:06,200 Speaker 2: don't think you did anything wrong. You just gave your opinion. 250 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:10,680 Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, here's the thing. The girl, the girlfriend clearly 251 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:15,840 Speaker 1: has an issue around self esteem. She's afraid to be alone. 252 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:20,280 Speaker 1: She's figuring she something's better than nothing. Exactly what we 253 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,800 Speaker 1: talked about, the question of the day for me, if 254 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:27,240 Speaker 1: I saw that, and you would, I would say, hey, 255 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,640 Speaker 1: you know what if if you left your computer open? 256 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,360 Speaker 1: You know, I use your computer. Is there something you 257 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 1: want to tell me? Because what are you talking about? 258 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:39,320 Speaker 1: I pointed the computer. But you know what she wants. 259 00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,920 Speaker 1: It's what I just said to you. She something to 260 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:45,120 Speaker 1: her is better than nothing. I'd rather have nothing than 261 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,200 Speaker 1: a guy who doesn't. 262 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:53,000 Speaker 2: Feel like an idiot. I would feel stupid staying because 263 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 2: obviously you're trying to break up with me. Let's have 264 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,000 Speaker 2: a conversation. 265 00:14:56,160 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 1: Wait, wait a minute. Maybe she doesn't have the money. 266 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,800 Speaker 1: Maybe he's helping to support her. Maybe he takes her 267 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 1: on nice trips. Maybe he pays for the groceries. Maybe 268 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,880 Speaker 1: he bought her a pretty bracelet. She's hoping for something 269 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,520 Speaker 1: better for Valentine's Day? Who knows? What you know? Who knows? 270 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:17,160 Speaker 2: And the pros and cons? Maybe she should have listed 271 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,520 Speaker 2: her pros and cons about him and left that up 272 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 2: on the computer exactly. 273 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,560 Speaker 1: Here's what I would say, Anonymous. What you should do 274 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 1: nothing is absolutely nothing. Sorry. What you should do now 275 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,800 Speaker 1: tell her you're sorry, you shouldn't have given your opinion, 276 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:34,520 Speaker 1: and and move on to the friendship. Its best you can. 277 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:36,520 Speaker 1: She knows, she knows. 278 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,720 Speaker 2: Tell her you love her, you're her friend, and you're 279 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 2: here to listen. 280 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, and you hope things work out for them. 281 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:43,360 Speaker 1: That's all. 282 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,640 Speaker 2: She can't do anything. Now. You can't fix this. It's 283 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 2: not you, it's yeah. 284 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,920 Speaker 1: I mean, she couldn't fix it to begin with. But 285 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:54,200 Speaker 1: I just want to reiterate, Well, I believe that that girl, 286 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:58,880 Speaker 1: the girlfriend that Anonymous is talking about epitomizes the question 287 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:02,120 Speaker 1: of the day. She's willing to put up with a 288 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:06,520 Speaker 1: creep who probably has something else cooking in the kitchen 289 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 1: because for whatever reason. 290 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:10,800 Speaker 2: Wonder why she's icing her out. 291 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,120 Speaker 1: Like she doesn't want to hear the truth she don't 292 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:15,160 Speaker 1: want to hear. She doesn't want to hear it. She 293 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,960 Speaker 1: knows we all know in our heart of heart, Susan, 294 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 1: we all know the truth. We don't want to hear 295 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:24,240 Speaker 1: it sometimes, So okay, let's move on, all right. 296 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 2: Thank you for writing in it. 297 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 1: Good for her? Yeah, good luck, Anonymous. I hope your 298 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:33,080 Speaker 1: friendship survives this. Okay. Question number two is also from 299 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:37,520 Speaker 1: an anonymous person. Hi, ladies, I need to know if 300 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:41,880 Speaker 1: you think I went too far in some breakup event. 301 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,160 Speaker 1: I was dating my now X for two years. A 302 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 1: few weeks ago, he got arrested and put in jail 303 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:54,800 Speaker 1: because his RA found some substances in his bedroom and 304 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,840 Speaker 1: called campus security. For anybody who doesn't know what an 305 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,080 Speaker 1: RA is, it's a resident adviser and there that like 306 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:04,280 Speaker 1: the ones in charge of the dorms. Okay, my parents 307 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:07,320 Speaker 1: helped me post his bail, I got him out, helped 308 00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:09,560 Speaker 1: him get connected with a lawyer, and am in the 309 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,959 Speaker 1: process of helping him get it off his record. Well. 310 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 1: Last night I was over at his place to make 311 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,400 Speaker 1: dinner while he was at the gym. I was using 312 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 1: his iPad for a recipe I needed when I saw 313 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:23,199 Speaker 1: a text come in. It was from the girl I 314 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 1: caught him cheating on me with last semester, and it 315 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,879 Speaker 1: said let me know when I'm in the clear to 316 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:32,200 Speaker 1: come over. So naturally, I took all his clothes out 317 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:36,480 Speaker 1: of his drawers brought them to one of the campus fountains. Wait, 318 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,919 Speaker 1: naturally she did this. Naturally, brought them to one of 319 00:17:39,920 --> 00:17:42,360 Speaker 1: the campus fountains with my best friend and set them 320 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:45,560 Speaker 1: all on fire safely. I also called it my parents' 321 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,120 Speaker 1: lawyer he was using and told him his services were 322 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:51,560 Speaker 1: no longer needed. And I maybe also called his parents 323 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,440 Speaker 1: and told them everything that was going on. I'm sure 324 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,400 Speaker 1: he's pissed off, but I wouldn't know because I blocked him. 325 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,320 Speaker 1: Some of our mutual friends have blocked me on social 326 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,399 Speaker 1: media because they think I went too far. What do 327 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,800 Speaker 1: you think? Lol? Love you guys. Susan's got her mouth 328 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:09,280 Speaker 1: gaping wide open. I'm gonna let you take a shot 329 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,800 Speaker 1: at this one. What do you think she go too far? 330 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:13,160 Speaker 2: Girlfriend? 331 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:18,679 Speaker 1: I think you're right, man, Now my mouth is gaping open. 332 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,720 Speaker 2: Why you think she's getting the sneaky woman wanted to 333 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,760 Speaker 2: come in? Let me know when the coast is clear. 334 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:30,720 Speaker 1: When she's there. Wait a minute, you think, Anonymous beating 335 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:34,200 Speaker 1: him with a bat. Oh my god, Susan, Just when 336 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,240 Speaker 1: I thought you and I were on the same page 337 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:42,560 Speaker 1: for life, Anonymous, Kathy over here thinks, a few weeks ago, 338 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:46,560 Speaker 1: he got arrested, he had weed or whatever he had 339 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:50,520 Speaker 1: in his bedroom. The parents, her parents got him out 340 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,520 Speaker 1: of jail, put up bail. No, that's a hard no. 341 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,480 Speaker 1: I got him out, helped him get connected with the Luyre. 342 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,280 Speaker 1: That's a hard no. He can figure out his own life. 343 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,680 Speaker 1: Then you were over at his place. Oh, and you're 344 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:05,960 Speaker 1: also You are also in the process of helping it 345 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,440 Speaker 1: get it off his record. Let him worry about that too. 346 00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 1: Then now you're over at his house cooking him dinner. 347 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:15,000 Speaker 1: You my friend, Anonymous. I'm sure if I met you, 348 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:18,679 Speaker 1: I would love you. But you are so needy. You 349 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:23,320 Speaker 1: need a bad boy, and you instead of letting him 350 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:26,000 Speaker 1: face his own music, get himself out of jail, post 351 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,040 Speaker 1: his own bail, and figure out his own damn life. 352 00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:29,200 Speaker 1: You're over there. 353 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:32,720 Speaker 2: Some people, Kathy, do help the people they love. They do. 354 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,920 Speaker 2: Some people are our fixers and try to do everything. 355 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,640 Speaker 2: And I would do the same thing. Well, totally get 356 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:39,359 Speaker 2: what she's doing. 357 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,400 Speaker 1: What she did, He can get his own lawyer. If 358 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,320 Speaker 1: she can get a lawyer, he can get a lawyer. 359 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,200 Speaker 1: Her parents post a bail from let your parents, let 360 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,840 Speaker 1: the boyfriend's parents boast both. 361 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:50,359 Speaker 2: He didn't want his parents to know. 362 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:54,520 Speaker 1: It well, and that's why, that's why she is putting 363 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:58,400 Speaker 1: up with a boyfriend that I would never Now, she. 364 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,720 Speaker 2: Didn't know she was putting up with anything until this. 365 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,399 Speaker 1: Oh no, no, she called his parents so she she 366 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,960 Speaker 1: knew he didn't want his parents to know, so she had. 367 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,640 Speaker 1: It's it's called what is it called when you help 368 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 1: someone out? I can't think of the word, and thank you. 369 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:15,160 Speaker 1: That would be the word, susan enabling, thank you so much. 370 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:18,600 Speaker 2: But I don't think this was enabling because they were 371 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:19,680 Speaker 2: in a relationship. 372 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:23,880 Speaker 1: It is enabling. He needs to figure out his own problems. 373 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:29,639 Speaker 2: Get your parents parents, that knew somebody like it's just easier. 374 00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 1: No, no, no, it's making it different way. But go on, 375 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,919 Speaker 1: I would never have done any of that. And then 376 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,920 Speaker 1: and you know why, and you know why she knew. 377 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,520 Speaker 2: I would have wrote the girl back, and you know why. 378 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,280 Speaker 1: You know why she knew. You know why. 379 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,840 Speaker 2: It's clear and I would answer the door. 380 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,359 Speaker 1: See you and I are so different. I if I 381 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:54,680 Speaker 1: saw that on the podcast, I mean on the podcast 382 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:58,560 Speaker 1: on his computer, iPad whatever, I would take his clothes. 383 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,960 Speaker 1: I would, I would take myself out of the house. 384 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:07,040 Speaker 1: I would walk home. I would block him, and I 385 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,840 Speaker 1: would never speak to him again. It would be that's it. 386 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,240 Speaker 2: No conversation. 387 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,840 Speaker 1: Oh god, well there might be a conversation. I would say, hey, 388 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,639 Speaker 1: I saw that you wanted a girlfriends, So we're over 389 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:23,800 Speaker 1: burning his clothes in a fountain. It's juvenile, Anonymous. 390 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:25,000 Speaker 2: Feel good? 391 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:28,440 Speaker 1: Do you seriously see nothing wrong with that? Oh? 392 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:32,240 Speaker 2: I think it's funny. Okay, a woman's scoring man. Don't 393 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,200 Speaker 2: cheat on me, passhole, after all the things I did 394 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:41,080 Speaker 2: for you? Fuck you? Sorry? Nope, nope, nope, nope. And 395 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:45,840 Speaker 2: I'm glad she called his parents, but that you could 396 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:47,320 Speaker 2: take care of them, that. 397 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,080 Speaker 1: They should have been caring for their son the whole 398 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:50,240 Speaker 1: time they're in college. 399 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:53,560 Speaker 2: No, because he didn't want and. 400 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 1: And obviously she played along, she played along with it. 401 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:01,760 Speaker 1: It never comes any good. I'm sorry, those situations never 402 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,560 Speaker 1: come to any good. And I'm sorry, Anonymous, but you 403 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,520 Speaker 1: know what, grow up. I'm going to tell you, grow up. 404 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,520 Speaker 2: And just wanted to know our opinion of what we thought. 405 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,640 Speaker 1: I said. If you went you didn't go too far. 406 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,000 Speaker 1: You went so far over the cliff, Anonymous, that you're 407 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,679 Speaker 1: you're gonna be on him gliding for twenty hours to 408 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,480 Speaker 1: get to ground you cat. 409 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:27,879 Speaker 2: But Susan, here is like giving you a bravo that 410 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,240 Speaker 2: made you feel better. Go for it. It's all over now. 411 00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:31,679 Speaker 2: Move on. 412 00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the other thing. Keep him blocked. Move on. 413 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,720 Speaker 1: Break Up revenge should not even be a thing. By 414 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,160 Speaker 1: the way, is it a thing for you, Susan? Break 415 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:40,920 Speaker 1: up revenge? 416 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:46,040 Speaker 2: No, I don't do revenge. I told you now. I'm 417 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,639 Speaker 2: friends with everybody. 418 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:50,360 Speaker 1: All right, So you would never. So I don't understand. 419 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,959 Speaker 1: We're got to move on. But I truly don't understand 420 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,760 Speaker 1: why you're applauding her burning his clothes. You would never. 421 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:56,880 Speaker 2: Because he was cheating. 422 00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:00,000 Speaker 1: Cats, have you ever had someone cheat on you? 423 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,560 Speaker 2: Only when I was very, very very young. 424 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:07,560 Speaker 1: And these people are very very young, they're in college. 425 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,240 Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm sorry, I just I don't see it. 426 00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:14,560 Speaker 2: If this one's funny, burning is closed, I know that 427 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:18,520 Speaker 2: would torture. Really all right, we're gonna do rappid fire advice. 428 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:22,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, we're gonna I just have to tell you, 429 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,520 Speaker 1: I may never call that question. It's gonna go when 430 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,640 Speaker 1: next time someone says to me, what is the biggest 431 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,440 Speaker 1: question that you and Susan disagreed on? That that one's 432 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:32,639 Speaker 1: going to be framed. 433 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:37,800 Speaker 2: In my Office's okay, all right, seriously, one more thing. 434 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:42,800 Speaker 2: I definitely would have coaxed that text that was coming 435 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:46,320 Speaker 2: in said come now, sweetheart, oh dear, yes, and we 436 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,080 Speaker 2: both be sitting there when he walked in. That would 437 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,560 Speaker 2: give me more pleasure than burning clothes. What are you 438 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:53,399 Speaker 2: going to do? Now? 439 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,680 Speaker 1: But see, I just that takes so much effort, Susan, 440 00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:59,560 Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to put the effort into that. 441 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,200 Speaker 2: I'd rather go what effort is that your yeah, come now. 442 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,000 Speaker 1: And then sitting and making him deal with it? I 443 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,680 Speaker 1: just walk out, take my self respect, and walk out 444 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:17,600 Speaker 1: the door. We are going to end off on a 445 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:22,200 Speaker 1: little segment called rapid fire advice. Susan's answered, all these 446 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,880 Speaker 1: are burn your clothes. Okay. We'll switch off reading the prompts, 447 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:29,600 Speaker 1: and we'll give each excuse me. Will will each give 448 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,600 Speaker 1: the first piece of advice that comes to mind. I'll 449 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,920 Speaker 1: start us off here we go, your best friend tells 450 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:38,480 Speaker 1: you her boyfriend has screenshots of your Instagram saved on 451 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:39,040 Speaker 1: his phone. 452 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:43,440 Speaker 2: What do you say your best friend tells you. 453 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:49,320 Speaker 1: Her boyfriend Susan. Let me make this simple, Frederic, I 454 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:53,440 Speaker 1: tell you that Frederic has screenshots of me on his Instagram, 455 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,840 Speaker 1: saved on his phone, not on his Instagram, pictures of 456 00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:58,360 Speaker 1: me saved on his phone. What are you gonna say? 457 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,920 Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, you're my friend. 458 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:06,040 Speaker 1: I don't care, all right, you don't care. 459 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:08,320 Speaker 2: I didn't look at it like it was a bad thing. 460 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,160 Speaker 1: I mean, I think if it was a picture of 461 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,240 Speaker 1: me from the beach or something, we were there, fine. 462 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:19,200 Speaker 1: But if if you see on Frederic's phone a bunch 463 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:24,080 Speaker 1: of pictures of some other girl saved on the screen 464 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:28,760 Speaker 1: shots screenshots, not not my Instagram pulled up. They's got 465 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:34,080 Speaker 1: screenshots from my Instagram and he's got them saved on 466 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:35,560 Speaker 1: his phone. You don't think that's a little weird. 467 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:37,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's probably a little weird. I don't know that 468 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:38,760 Speaker 2: one didn't get me that. 469 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, i'd lose him too. I'm telling you. My thing 470 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:43,880 Speaker 1: to tell you is Loucy. These men, and I wonder 471 00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:46,399 Speaker 1: why I'm not dating all right, all right. 472 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,560 Speaker 2: Here's one. Your friend just found out the guy she's 473 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:53,840 Speaker 2: dating still Venmos his ex for coffee advice. 474 00:25:56,040 --> 00:26:00,159 Speaker 1: No still coffee advice, No, still Venmo's his ex for 475 00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,520 Speaker 1: coffee for coffee, meaning they go out for coffee together. 476 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:09,800 Speaker 1: My advice lose. My advice is lose the guy. If 477 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:16,159 Speaker 1: he's dating somebody else and having coffee with his ex, 478 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:17,919 Speaker 1: she's not his ex friend. 479 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:21,679 Speaker 2: Offload him and see I think differently because Dicky and 480 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,440 Speaker 2: I will go have a cup of coffee. 481 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,560 Speaker 1: And that's a differend. Susan, you were married, and you 482 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,159 Speaker 1: don't hide that from Frederic. That's not what I'm of 483 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:34,360 Speaker 1: course not Well, your friends just found out. They they 484 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:38,400 Speaker 1: just found out. I don't know. 485 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:42,520 Speaker 2: I don't get he. Is he just giving money so 486 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,080 Speaker 2: she could have coffee? 487 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:48,680 Speaker 1: I don't care. That's just weird. It's again, offload him 488 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,280 Speaker 1: an ex, whether he's buying her coffee, giving her money 489 00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:56,600 Speaker 1: for coffee, or or the Venmo that says for coffee 490 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,320 Speaker 1: is really for sex and he just writes his for coffee. 491 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,119 Speaker 1: I don't care any God that's dealing with his X. 492 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,720 Speaker 1: I'm not interested in. Goodbye. All right, here's the. 493 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,040 Speaker 2: Next right, take the next one. 494 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:12,520 Speaker 1: Your friend says her partner doesn't believe in labels? After 495 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,920 Speaker 1: six months? What do you tell her? 496 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:21,000 Speaker 2: Oh, that's the same for you. 497 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,760 Speaker 1: You know what? I tell her nothing? She didn't ask me. 498 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:23,640 Speaker 1: I don't care. What did we care? You don't want 499 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,000 Speaker 1: to label and put a label on it. 500 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,480 Speaker 2: I don't care for the label on it? 501 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:27,159 Speaker 1: Who cares? 502 00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 2: That means I'm free? 503 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,640 Speaker 1: I mean that's different. I tell if you don't want 504 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:35,240 Speaker 1: to don't you don't want to label? 505 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:41,080 Speaker 2: Your friend's boyfriend liked her best friend's bikini picture from 506 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:45,440 Speaker 2: twenty eighteen at two am? What's your take? 507 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,199 Speaker 1: Why the hell did you know that he was up 508 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,160 Speaker 1: at two am looking at her picture? You're going through 509 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,280 Speaker 1: his phone. That's my I stopped going through the phone. 510 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:57,200 Speaker 2: People that go in and see who likes what? Don't 511 00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 2: you have a life? 512 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:02,880 Speaker 1: There's It all goes back to the question of the day. 513 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:07,080 Speaker 1: These women do not trust themselves. They don't have enough 514 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:10,840 Speaker 1: self confidence. Why would you stick with a guy who's 515 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:13,760 Speaker 1: up at two am? Why are you checking his phone? 516 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,520 Speaker 1: You're checking his phone because you don't trust him. Your 517 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,960 Speaker 1: best friend's bikini pick from two to eight to two 518 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:19,520 Speaker 1: thousand and eight. 519 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:21,760 Speaker 2: Did she's not checking his phone? She saw this? I 520 00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:27,200 Speaker 2: guess online. Your friend's boyfriend liked her best friend's bikini 521 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,880 Speaker 2: picture from twenty eighteen, and he liked it at two 522 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:32,360 Speaker 2: as all. 523 00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:34,879 Speaker 1: That Susan liked it at high noon? 524 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,440 Speaker 2: Why does what's your take? 525 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:43,000 Speaker 1: My take is, why is he liking If you just 526 00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,760 Speaker 1: don't mess around with exes, you don't like their pictures, 527 00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,200 Speaker 1: you delete them from your phone. 528 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:54,960 Speaker 2: It's her best friend again, boyfriends, your friend's boyfriends. 529 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,680 Speaker 1: Can I just say what this episode is proving I'm 530 00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:02,880 Speaker 1: single forever? I swear okay forever? All right? Your friend 531 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:07,480 Speaker 1: found a hidden folder. Here we go on her partner's 532 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:10,600 Speaker 1: phone again, going through the phone. Your friend found a 533 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:15,160 Speaker 1: hidden folder on her partner's phone labeled receipts with screenshots 534 00:29:15,160 --> 00:29:18,440 Speaker 1: of texts from her. What do you tell her to do? 535 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,280 Speaker 2: Your friendly. 536 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,960 Speaker 1: Text shots? Listen? These are all These are all variations 537 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,680 Speaker 1: on a theme. It's a friend. There's three people involved here, 538 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:36,680 Speaker 1: usually a partner, a partner's partner, and then a third person. 539 00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:42,440 Speaker 1: So your friend found a hidden folder on her partner's 540 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:46,720 Speaker 1: phone labeled receipts with screenshots of texts from her, not 541 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:50,640 Speaker 1: from the girlfriend or the other from her again? Number one, 542 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,080 Speaker 1: what do you tell her to do get off his 543 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,440 Speaker 1: phone and dump him to the curb. Yeah, thank god. 544 00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,080 Speaker 1: I mean, it's just it's just it's all the same. 545 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:04,280 Speaker 2: If you therefore non trusting relationship, nothing is going to 546 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,120 Speaker 2: be good if you have to go spy. I know, 547 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:11,280 Speaker 2: curiosity sometimes takes over, but it's just stupid. 548 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,440 Speaker 1: Is it curiosity or is it what you just said. 549 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,479 Speaker 2: If you don't have trust, it's a non trust. 550 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:21,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's non trust. And that's why these relationships don't work, 551 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:25,680 Speaker 1: because you know, if it smells like fire, looks like 552 00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:27,920 Speaker 1: a dog, whatever those expressions are, it's going to burn. 553 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,520 Speaker 1: It's going to burn, all right. 554 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:36,600 Speaker 2: Okay, your friend says her situation situationship introduced her as 555 00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:43,360 Speaker 2: my friend at a party. That's happened. Well, and it 556 00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:52,200 Speaker 2: feels awkward. You're in a situationship. You're with a guy 557 00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,920 Speaker 2: that you think you're dating. I mean, yours are our thing. 558 00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:58,960 Speaker 2: And he says at a party and introduced you as 559 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:03,480 Speaker 2: my friend. Well, they are friends. Yeah I've said that. 560 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:05,600 Speaker 2: Then I've been called on it too. 561 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:11,840 Speaker 1: Well, you know again, here be back to labels. My 562 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:15,320 Speaker 1: advice is, if you don't like being labeled a friend, 563 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:23,360 Speaker 1: then figure out what the situation of the situationship is 564 00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:28,360 Speaker 1: all right? Your friend's partner says they don't post her 565 00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:31,800 Speaker 1: because they're private, but they post everything else. What do 566 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:34,320 Speaker 1: you say, I've actually had this friends that have had 567 00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:35,000 Speaker 1: this happen to. 568 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,560 Speaker 2: Your friend's partner okay. 569 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:42,000 Speaker 1: Says they don't post her. In other words, the part 570 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:45,360 Speaker 1: you're getting confused with the pronounce the partner doesn't post 571 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:51,440 Speaker 1: pictures of the person because he says their relationship is private, 572 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:55,120 Speaker 1: but that person posts everything else. What do you say? 573 00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,400 Speaker 2: There's a reason why do you have me a secret? 574 00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:02,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a reason, girl friend, Your friends they him 575 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:07,280 Speaker 1: he whatever however you label yourself, there's a reason why. 576 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:11,320 Speaker 1: Ask why? And you know what. The running theme of 577 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:15,880 Speaker 1: today is you might want to be considering do you 578 00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 1: want to stay in the situation of this situationship where 579 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:22,320 Speaker 1: your partner may not be your holy partner? Oh? 580 00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:23,720 Speaker 2: Good luck with that. 581 00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:24,600 Speaker 1: Okay. 582 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:27,840 Speaker 2: Your friend caught her boyfriend the leting text as she 583 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,280 Speaker 2: walked into the room. What's your advice? 584 00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:33,720 Speaker 1: But I know what, Susan, I know what you're gonna say. 585 00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:38,320 Speaker 1: You're gonna see you there for thirty freaking days. Pull 586 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,720 Speaker 1: it up, bitch, Let me see what you knew you 587 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:43,840 Speaker 1: were going to say that. Susan's going to say, go 588 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:47,680 Speaker 1: to those three dots and undo delete messages. I'm going 589 00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:51,880 Speaker 1: to say let it go because if your partner is 590 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:55,320 Speaker 1: cheating on you, you're going to find it out for sure. 591 00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,960 Speaker 1: He might be the idlete texts all the time. So 592 00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:04,440 Speaker 1: it's it's you know, not everything is somebody cheating on you, really, 593 00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:05,080 Speaker 1: you know. 594 00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,960 Speaker 2: If you if you know, it's just delete and crap. 595 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:10,880 Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, if you're buying your ex then ruin 596 00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,520 Speaker 1: your X for coffee, that might be your ven for 597 00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:16,520 Speaker 1: you know, sexual favors. But if they're deleting texts, wait, 598 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:18,560 Speaker 1: wait for a little more proof, just you know, wait 599 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:22,120 Speaker 1: for a little more all right, geez, all right. Your 600 00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:27,000 Speaker 1: friend says her partner follows three hundred thirst trap oh, 601 00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:30,560 Speaker 1: three hundred plus thirst traps, but never compliments her. What 602 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:34,960 Speaker 1: do you say? Do you know what a thirst trap is? Okay, 603 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,920 Speaker 1: So a thirst trap I to look it up. It's 604 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:41,560 Speaker 1: something on social media. It's a social media post intended 605 00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:48,280 Speaker 1: to entice viewers sexually. Okay, So her partner fond, so 606 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:55,240 Speaker 1: he's looking at sexual uh sexual post that invites sexual Yeah, okay, 607 00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:57,000 Speaker 1: what do you say? 608 00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:58,800 Speaker 2: He never liked the guy that likes to go to 609 00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:00,760 Speaker 2: the strip club. But maybe that's what turns him on. 610 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,200 Speaker 2: If he's not hiding it, I guess it's okay. 611 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:06,480 Speaker 1: I don't know. He never compliments her, but he's but 612 00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:10,600 Speaker 1: he's he follows three hundred. That means he's got thirst 613 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,040 Speaker 1: traps all over his Instagram, Oliver, his phone, but. 614 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:16,719 Speaker 2: He's But does he compliment them or he's just selling them? 615 00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:22,480 Speaker 1: I don't care. He never compliments her? Again, what. 616 00:34:25,520 --> 00:34:26,400 Speaker 2: He's going to put yourself? 617 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:28,920 Speaker 1: Now? Why are you going to ask a man that 618 00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:30,879 Speaker 1: if if he isn't treated so. 619 00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:34,520 Speaker 2: You rather cut and dry, no explanation, You just leave 620 00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,040 Speaker 2: the scene where I want to talk about it. 621 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:40,080 Speaker 1: Well, because that's exactly what I said for the last question. 622 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:47,040 Speaker 1: This your partner friend is giving you other hints If 623 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:51,000 Speaker 1: he's just following three hundred thirst traps, if that's all 624 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:53,640 Speaker 1: he's doing, so he's got a fetish whatever. 625 00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:54,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean. 626 00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:57,759 Speaker 1: But but if he's never complimenting you, he might be 627 00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,959 Speaker 1: taking it to another level. You look at the relationship. 628 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:05,400 Speaker 2: Well, just because you're following doesn't mean he's complimenting them. 629 00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,719 Speaker 2: He's just not a complimenting regud. 630 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:11,839 Speaker 1: It's intended to entice them. If he's following them, he's 631 00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:14,960 Speaker 1: reading them, he's looking at them, he might well be 632 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:18,160 Speaker 1: interacting with them. I mean, I don't. I would show 633 00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:20,840 Speaker 1: him the door. But that's just me. I mean, I 634 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:22,440 Speaker 1: keep saying the same thing to you. 635 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:27,760 Speaker 2: Okay, your friend is considering moving in with someone she's 636 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:32,040 Speaker 2: never argued with. Advice. 637 00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,120 Speaker 1: I think they're gonna, you know what, move in. You're 638 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:43,839 Speaker 1: you're gonna have your first argument very soon after. Okay, 639 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:47,520 Speaker 1: so what did you think about this game? You know, Honestly, 640 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,600 Speaker 1: this whole episode, I've repeated myself twenty six times. I'm 641 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,919 Speaker 1: gonna say it one more time. I think this whole 642 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:56,920 Speaker 1: episode is about not necessarily women, but I think unfortunately 643 00:35:56,920 --> 00:36:01,560 Speaker 1: it's more with women that men having not having self confidence. Instead, 644 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:05,960 Speaker 1: they try to make excuses, They post bail, they get lawyers, 645 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,759 Speaker 1: they try to get things taken off their records. They 646 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:13,000 Speaker 1: try to fix their fixers. Women need to stop being fixers. 647 00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:17,680 Speaker 1: Take responsibility for yourself and your own happiness, and let 648 00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:20,160 Speaker 1: your partner if it's a guy, whatever. 649 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:25,080 Speaker 2: Don't deny yourself. I mean, you're worth it. Keep believe 650 00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:26,920 Speaker 2: that that you are worth more. 651 00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:30,080 Speaker 1: Well. But Susan, if you believe you're worth more, you 652 00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,920 Speaker 1: have to take action, which is not putting up with 653 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:34,719 Speaker 1: disrespectful bag. 654 00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:38,160 Speaker 2: I agree, and I'm now depressed. 655 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,640 Speaker 1: Because I'm never going to have a date ever again. 656 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:44,239 Speaker 2: I mean really, And that does it for today's episode. 657 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,359 Speaker 2: Thank you so much to everyone that's listening, and I 658 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:51,200 Speaker 2: think you guys out there listening probably agreed with us. 659 00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:54,359 Speaker 1: Well, you agree with one of us for sure, because 660 00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:58,439 Speaker 1: we're on opposite ends. Listen while you're working on your 661 00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:02,920 Speaker 1: fabulous relationships and building up your own self esteem. Please 662 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:05,880 Speaker 1: be sure to keep sending us all your questions and comments. 663 00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:09,080 Speaker 1: It's easy to just go to bachelornation dot com slash 664 00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:12,000 Speaker 1: Golden Hour and submit away. We really want to hear 665 00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:14,279 Speaker 1: with We want to hear from you. Susan and I 666 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,360 Speaker 1: are most likely going to be on opposite ends at 667 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,000 Speaker 1: the table here, so you're going to get act. 668 00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:22,160 Speaker 2: We agree. Great. Make sure to listen to Bachelor Happy 669 00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:25,520 Speaker 2: Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you 670 00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:28,400 Speaker 2: listen to your podcast, and we'll see you next time. 671 00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:29,439 Speaker 1: Take care,