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Speaker 1: You hear me confession I can't take back arms. Mouse

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Speaker 1: speak text to seven eighty five nine two says this

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Speaker 1: might make me a bad person, but I go out

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Speaker 1: of my way to mess with student drivers every time

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Speaker 1: I see one, or honk at them, tailgate, cut them off.

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Speaker 1: I know it's wrong, but I do think it's hilarious.

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Speaker 1: That's actually all.

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Speaker 2: It's the real world. Alexis not everyone honks it you

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Speaker 2: every time.

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Speaker 1: You It might just be an Alexis thing. But they

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Speaker 1: really should teach in driving school how to deal with

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Speaker 1: road rage people like they should be like, Okay, class today,

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Speaker 1: we're going to learn how to properly flip the bird.

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Speaker 1: Everybody take their middle finger.

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Speaker 2: You're just going to escalate the problem, yea, Jeff.

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Speaker 1: People do bad things, and we appreciate those people for

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Speaker 1: the content that they provide. To this segment, the mass

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Speaker 1: speaker and we've got a woman on the phone who's

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Speaker 1: ready to confess her secret anonymously. She's chosen Kelly as

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Speaker 1: her fake name. So Kelly, welcome to the show. Are

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Speaker 1: you a bad person?

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Speaker 3: Oh god? Well, I mean I hope not great.

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Speaker 2: There's no bad people, just bad choices.

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Speaker 3: Yes, all right, well I did one of those.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, perfect, we're so excited. We've got our middle fingers

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Speaker 1: ready for you because the voice changer is on. You

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Speaker 1: are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 3: Okay. So I met this guy at a bar and

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Speaker 3: he was just like so good looking, like stupid handsome.

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Speaker 3: So We're sitting next to each other and we started

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Speaker 3: talking and I'm like.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I think that was a sound that only dogs

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Speaker 2: can hear.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, we're getting to know each other. It was

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Speaker 3: like casual, it's cute, going to buy me a drink

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Speaker 3: And I was like, okay, all drinking with you absurdly

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Speaker 3: hot man, Yes, I would.

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Speaker 2: Okay, no explanation needed so far to just we're fully

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Speaker 2: on board.

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Speaker 3: I just want to paint the scene so that you

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Speaker 3: understand why I did what it did.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so your brain, your brain is turning off any

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Speaker 2: logic at this point.

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Speaker 3: Okay, it was because I'm not sure how it came up,

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Speaker 3: but I like, like, he told me that he was married,

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Speaker 3: and he actually was like he's out of my wife

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Speaker 3: right now and get back at her. Oh what part

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Speaker 3: of my brain that was like leave now? Yeah, don't

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Speaker 3: hear this, and then there was a lot of the

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Speaker 3: rest of me that was like, yes, you get back

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Speaker 3: at this. Also, I've been drinking.

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Speaker 2: Okay, and I'm bad at that. Now this is reeling

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Speaker 2: like an excuse. Yeah okay, So I'm guessing the wrong

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Speaker 2: side of your brain took over the little devil.

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Speaker 1: On your shoulder.

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, I mean I truly I actually felt terrible

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Speaker 3: the next day, Like I felt really, really really bad

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Speaker 3: about it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So I have not been to church in like like

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Speaker 3: a decade and a half.

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Speaker 2: I see Jesus.

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Speaker 3: So I was like, what I'm gonna do is I'm

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Speaker 3: going to go to the confessional booth and I'm going

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Speaker 3: to finally get this off my chest. I'm just gonna

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Speaker 3: tell somebody these literal job it is. Hear me say

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Speaker 3: the bad thing that I did.

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Speaker 1: Okay, You'll be absolved of all your bad choices.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just kind of like, hey, look, oops.

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Speaker 2: Okay, all right, all right, so did that work? Did

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Speaker 2: you feel better?

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Speaker 3: It's a listen. So I went and I started to

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Speaker 3: tell the priest that I was like, with this married man,

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Speaker 3: I feel awful, and this guy cussed me off with and.

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Speaker 2: I quote, oh, you gotta cut that out.

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Speaker 1: Bro, what the priest said that.

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Speaker 3: Like, the priest is cursing at me much worse, Okay,

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Speaker 3: And he goes seriously that whole situation is bad news.

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Speaker 3: You can't do that.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, are you sure you're talking to

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Speaker 1: a priest. You're definitely not talking to a priest.

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Speaker 2: He's actually in a seven eleven bathroom.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I was sober when I went there. I

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Speaker 3: was like, are you a priest?

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Speaker 2: You're yeah? Oh hell yeah.

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Speaker 3: And he tells me, like to me how Mary's or

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Speaker 3: whatever he bade me prayers to do. O.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that's experience off air.

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Speaker 1: Tell me what church that is? So I never go there?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Cool?

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Speaker 3: But like so I just like laughed. I was confused.

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Speaker 3: I kind of felt better, kind of felt worse. But

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Speaker 3: I went back to church like a couple more times. Honestly,

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Speaker 3: I just wanted to hear what kind of thing this

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Speaker 3: priest would do as a servant, right, So I go,

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Speaker 3: it's not him, it's not the same man. I do

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Speaker 3: not know who it was, but I confessed.

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Speaker 1: To there were some random guys sitting in the confessional booth,

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Speaker 1: just like hearing people's confessions.

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Speaker 3: We don't agree, that's worse than what I did.

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Speaker 2: Do we just agreet listening to people. I think that

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Speaker 2: is worse. I don't know anything about confessional boost, but

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Speaker 2: it does seem like there should be a lock on

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Speaker 2: those doors.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I like like an ice skin, like a thumb

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Speaker 1: pre code for a real priest to get inside.

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Speaker 2: There was like a universal pass code.

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Speaker 1: That is wild. Okay, I don't even know what to say.

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Speaker 2: Well, you're absolved.

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Speaker 1: Looking for Okay, now you actually feel like a load

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Speaker 1: has been lifted off of your shoulders.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, seriously cut that out. Okay. Yeah, and maybe still DM.

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Speaker 1: The wife whoever the random guy was. He was not

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Speaker 1: a priest, but he did have some wisdom for you

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Speaker 1: to be like, stop doing that. That's gross.

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Speaker 3: Maybe I should call him.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, okay, that's your life journey. You feel free

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Speaker 1: to live at Kelly, thank you for sharing that on

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Speaker 1: the show. I feel dirty. Text in too. If you

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Speaker 1: have a confession you've been holding on to, we can

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Speaker 1: hide your identity, mask your voice, and make you our

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Speaker 1: x mass speaker. Your phone taps coming up right after this,

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Speaker 1: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning