Speaker 1: What's up, everybody, Welcome back to the podcast. So grateful
Speaker 1: to have you here. I was talking with some guys
Speaker 1: today and thinking about how this podcast has been going
Speaker 1: on since twenty seventeen and you guys are still listening,
Speaker 1: So I'm very grateful. And the format of this podcast
Speaker 1: as you email me Questions podcast at grangersmith dot com,
Speaker 1: as the email once again podcast at grangersmith dot com.
Speaker 1: Ask me anything could be about any subject. In fact,
Speaker 1: the more really, the more crazy, the better because that's
Speaker 1: going to make your email stand out and it just
Speaker 1: broadens the podcast topics. Really, I think that over the
Speaker 1: years we've talked about a whole different I mean, it
Speaker 1: has been so so varied in the questions, especially as
Speaker 1: is my life has kind of changed through the podcast.
Speaker 1: I think the questions for me have changed, and the
Speaker 1: audience has changed. I did hear from Tyler, my brother.
Speaker 1: I did hear from him and ant Man literally moments
Speaker 1: ago before I started this podcast that we are planning
Speaker 1: this live podcast tour for twenty twenty five. Tyler said,
Speaker 1: you want to do a podcast tour alive where we
Speaker 1: you know, set up. We go like to a theater
Speaker 1: and we set up on the stage and answer questions live.
Speaker 1: He said, do you want to do that with a
Speaker 1: live audience in twenty twenty five? I said, bro, I've
Speaker 1: been wanting to do that for years. So I don't know.
Speaker 1: As far as I know he's planning it. It may
Speaker 1: or may not happen soon, but I would imagine it
Speaker 1: would happen at some point, not a matter of if.
Speaker 1: Just when there's a couple things I want to talk
Speaker 1: about on this podcast before we get to the questions,
Speaker 1: before we get to your questions, And I've been thinking
Speaker 1: about something, and as we talk a lot on here
Speaker 1: about churches, and people are looking for churches and thinking
Speaker 1: about churches and hurt from churches, and they don't want
Speaker 1: to go to church anymore because of what it represents,
Speaker 1: or they think that I'm good on my own, I
Speaker 1: don't need a church, or I'm good I could find
Speaker 1: God in the woods, or you don't need a church
Speaker 1: to make you a Christian. You know, we get all
Speaker 1: these kind of comments, which which is not my point.
Speaker 1: My point is today I think so many times the
Speaker 1: root problem of a lot of those jaded feelings about
Speaker 1: the gathering is a misunderstanding about the role of pastor.
Speaker 1: And that's a pretty deep topic. And the Bible is
Speaker 1: a very clear and you might not know this, the
Speaker 1: Bible is very clear about the role of a pastor,
Speaker 1: what he should be doing, what his job is. Why
Speaker 1: the Lord calls pastors, you know, and as leaders of
Speaker 1: the church. These pastors sometimes referred to, depending on the church,
Speaker 1: as elder, our overseer, our bishop. It's all the same root,
Speaker 1: that root of that word what it means in both
Speaker 1: Hebrew and Greek, both of them mean shepherd, and they
Speaker 1: are thought of. They are illustrated in the Bible as
Speaker 1: a shepherd and sheep, the flock. The sheep is the people,
Speaker 1: and there is the great shepherd Jesus, and all of
Speaker 1: the sheep which she talks to. What she talks about,
Speaker 1: like in John ten when he says, my sheep hear
Speaker 1: my voice, and they that I know them, and they
Speaker 1: follow me, and I give them eternal life, and they
Speaker 1: will never perish, and no one will snatch them out
Speaker 1: of my hand. Right, So he talks about all the flock.
Speaker 1: But then there like these mini flocks, and those are
Speaker 1: those are the under shepherds. And that's what we hear
Speaker 1: about in the Bible. That's most of the time when
Speaker 1: we're hearing about pastors, we're talking about the flocks within
Speaker 1: the big flock, and the under shepherds are in charge.
Speaker 1: And so these are churches. A church. People are right
Speaker 1: in saying that it's not the building and the brick
Speaker 1: and the mortar, it is the gathering. That word church
Speaker 1: ecclesia means gathering. So the church is the gathering. Which
Speaker 1: is why, like for instance, at my church at Amais,
Speaker 1: at the beginning, we would say the appropriate way to
Speaker 1: start the you know, the the right way to say
Speaker 1: hello would be welcome to this gathering of a Mais church.
Speaker 1: You see what I mean. So instead of saying welcome
Speaker 1: to our church, welcome to the gathering. You know, because
Speaker 1: we the people the gathering. This, this is this gathering of
Speaker 1: the church. This is today's gathering, right as opposed to
Speaker 1: the building of the place. And so when we think
Speaker 1: about these under shepherds, pastors, elders, bishops, when we when
Speaker 1: we think of this and we think of in terms
Speaker 1: of what the Bible always illustrates as a shepherd in sheep,
Speaker 1: and we think of the the flock, the think of
Speaker 1: the little flock and a flock would be in a
Speaker 1: certain area. You would you would understand the boundaries of
Speaker 1: the flock. The boundaries of that smaller flock would be
Speaker 1: the church. And I'm I'm walking through this because of
Speaker 1: I get so many emails and questions about church. What
Speaker 1: is church? Why is church? Who is church? You know what?
Speaker 1: I don't need to go to church, or I do
Speaker 1: need to go to church. But maybe it would help
Speaker 1: instead of just saying here's what you need to do,
Speaker 1: maybe it would help if first we just talked about
Speaker 1: what church is. And that's a longer topic, but just basically,
Speaker 1: let's think of it in terms of a shepherd and
Speaker 1: a flock, a little flock, and the flock would have boundaries.
Speaker 1: You would know who's in the flock. You would know
Speaker 1: if you were a shepherd, you would know who are
Speaker 1: your sheep, and then who are the sheep in the
Speaker 1: mountain over there? That's the other guy's flock, the other shepherd,
Speaker 1: and then you would there would be one in the valley,
Speaker 1: and that's a bigger flock, and that one that's bigger
Speaker 1: in the valley. It has three shepherds because because those
Speaker 1: guys have to know every sheep and their flock and
Speaker 1: because there's more sheep than the one in the hill,
Speaker 1: the ones down here, they need more shepherds. So in
Speaker 1: the Bible and the New Testament, when letters are going
Speaker 1: to the churches, right, Paul's writing letters, John's writing letters.
Speaker 1: These letters go out to the churches and to the elders,
Speaker 1: like it's the the elders in Ephesus. So it's plural,
Speaker 1: so that the bigger the flock, the more shepherds. Right
Speaker 1: are you shocking with me? So far? A shepherd is
Speaker 1: thought of as just like a excuse me. A pastor
Speaker 1: is thought of just like a shepherd in terms of
Speaker 1: their role is to care for the flock, protect, guide,
Speaker 1: feed in all the same analogies. And where I'm going
Speaker 1: with this really is I think we've i think we've
Speaker 1: missedefined it a lot of times. And so when we
Speaker 1: think of churches, sometimes we see someone on Instagram could
Speaker 1: be me giving a message. And if I'm in New
Speaker 1: Jersey given a message, I'm not. I'm not their pastor.
Speaker 1: I'm just a preacher. I'm an evangelist coming in and
Speaker 1: preaching the word. And that's different than a pastor. A
Speaker 1: church must have a pastor, and the bigger it gets
Speaker 1: it must have multiple pastors. A church cannot exist with
Speaker 1: a gathering of people, which is what it is, and
Speaker 1: a preacher or an evangelist that doesn't that doesn't fit
Speaker 1: the bill. The evangelist or the preacher could come in
Speaker 1: and give a word of exhortation or teaching, but that
Speaker 1: guy is not caring for the flock. He's not protecting
Speaker 1: the flock from the wolves. He's not feeding the flock
Speaker 1: with these the spiritual appet the spiritual nutrients that that
Speaker 1: meet the appetite of the flock. You're tracking with me.
Speaker 1: So many times we see bad churches and the reason
Speaker 1: they're bad, and we might not always can't always point
Speaker 1: to it, but one of the overarching reasons is they
Speaker 1: have a preacher and not a pastor. And more often
Speaker 1: when they're big, they have one preacher and some associate
Speaker 1: guys that aren't really doing the job of overseeing either.
Speaker 1: And so the church, the gathering doesn't have a leader.
Speaker 1: Now watch what the Bible says about this. This is crazy.
Speaker 1: Ezekiel thirty four. And you can check me on this,
Speaker 1: Ezekiel thirty four. And at the very beginning verse one,
Speaker 1: it says, then the word of Yahweh came to me, saying,
Speaker 1: son of Man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel. So
Speaker 1: this is the pastors prophesy, and say to these shepherds,
Speaker 1: Thus says Lord Yadweh, Woe shepherds of Israel, who have
Speaker 1: been shepherding themselves. Should not the shepherd's shepherd the flock.
Speaker 1: You eat the fat and clothe yourself with wool. You
Speaker 1: sacrifice the fat sheep without shepherding the flock. Those who
Speaker 1: are sickly you have not strengthened, and the disease you
Speaker 1: have not healed, and the broken you have not bound up.
Speaker 1: And the scattered you have not brought back. Nor have
Speaker 1: you searched for the lost. But with strength and with
Speaker 1: severity you have dominated them. They were scattered for lack
Speaker 1: of a shepherd. They become food for every beast of
Speaker 1: the field, and were scattered. My flock wandered through all
Speaker 1: the mountains, on every high hill. My flock was scattered
Speaker 1: all over the surface of the earth, and there was
Speaker 1: no one to seek or search for them. Therefore, you shepherds,
Speaker 1: hear the word of Yahweh. And he goes on to
Speaker 1: continue to rebuke the shepherds and those are harsh words.
Speaker 1: So we could look back at verse four. They kind
Speaker 1: of give this gift, this overall definition of what they
Speaker 1: what they should be doing, but they're not Verse four.
Speaker 1: Those who are sickly you have not strengthened. So a
Speaker 1: good pastor would strengthen the flock. The disease do you
Speaker 1: have not healed, So a good pastor would be doing
Speaker 1: everything he can to heal the flock and the broken.
Speaker 1: You have not bound up. We're talking this could be
Speaker 1: as broad as you want. Counseling, listening, guiding, and the scattered.
Speaker 1: You have not brought back, the wonders, the people that
Speaker 1: are that are slipping from the faith, that are that
Speaker 1: are haven't been in a few Sundays. Maybe that's it.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's it. Are they're getting weaker in the faith,
Speaker 1: or there they are wayward, the pastor goes and gets
Speaker 1: them and brings them back. And in order to do that,
Speaker 1: you would need to know who's who's in the group,
Speaker 1: right You can't you can't search for a wayward sheep
Speaker 1: if you don't even know who your sheep are, because
Speaker 1: it's just so many of them and they just come
Speaker 1: and go. You don't even know next, nor have you
Speaker 1: searched for the lost same thing, but with strength and
Speaker 1: with severity, you've dominated them. That those are harsh words,
Speaker 1: and I think with that, I want to play video
Speaker 1: and for those of you watch it and can watch it
Speaker 1: with me, I'll record it for Paul and those of
Speaker 1: you listening, you could just listen because it does the
Speaker 1: same thing. But I saw this video. I actually shared
Speaker 1: it with Marshall, my pastor, and I'm not gonna I
Speaker 1: don't know this guy, so this is nothing on him personally,
Speaker 1: but I think it's such a picture of where we
Speaker 1: have gone. And so when you hear this, think about
Speaker 1: that that rebuke from Ezekiel thirty four that the Lord
Speaker 1: is telling his prophet Ezekiel to tell to the shepherds.
Speaker 1: Think of that in your mind and think how absolutely
Speaker 1: absurd this is. If you're listening right nowt of this
Speaker 1: podcast and you're not a Christian, you could absolutely see
Speaker 1: how absurd this is for all Christians, and you, the
Speaker 1: non believer that's listening, you should laugh at this rightly,
Speaker 1: so you could say that is ridiculous. Who does this
Speaker 1: guy think he is? And you don't have to be
Speaker 1: a believer to agree this is ridiculous and really the
Speaker 1: way of the way of so many churches, and that
Speaker 1: this is a possible prediction on how a bad, how
Speaker 1: much worse it could get. The backstory is all I
Speaker 1: really know is this is a megachurch pastor who created
Speaker 1: an AI app to pastor his people. So think about
Speaker 1: it in terms of a shepherd creates an app to
Speaker 1: shepherd the sheep with so much so that the people
Speaker 1: could get on the app, download the app, and get
Speaker 1: it and then ask him questions and the AI version
Speaker 1: of him answers the questions. As if that is fulfilling
Speaker 1: the role shepherd, let me press play.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'd love to have my own personal pastor. So
Speaker 2: I had to run Governor Ministry's archive and I called
Speaker 2: Pastor Ron. And after I call Pastor Ron, let's say,
Speaker 2: you know what, Let's say I'm not feeling good to
Speaker 2: my brother character. How can I help Pastor Ron, I'm
Speaker 2: not feeling well today? Could you pray for me?
Speaker 1: Hey?
Speaker 3: There, I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Let's
Speaker 3: take a moment to pray together. Heavenly Father, I thank
Speaker 3: you that you know us and hear us right now.
Speaker 3: I lift up my friend to you. I ask for
Speaker 3: your healing touch to be a pon. You'll know more
Speaker 3: about it. You have to wait. We'll tell you later.
Speaker 1: Now, apparently I don't know a lot about this. But
Speaker 1: apparently this app is going to cost money, like fifty bucks.
Speaker 1: He's get to charge for it. Let me say, I
Speaker 1: do know these guys that posted this. I know of him,
Speaker 1: I don't know a lot, and so I will say
Speaker 1: that that could this could be all wrong, like that
Speaker 1: could be fake. I don't think it is. I think
Speaker 1: it's real, but I'm not sitting here stating that this
Speaker 1: is absolute fact because I don't know this pastor. And
Speaker 1: maybe this is a total parody, but I don't. You
Speaker 1: could judge for yourself. I don't think it is. I
Speaker 1: think this guy really created an app, a pastor app
Speaker 1: that people can get on and say, hey, Pastor, I'm sick,
Speaker 1: will you pray for me? And because either he doesn't
Speaker 1: want to Ezekiel thirty four, or he's pastor, he's shepherding
Speaker 1: himself like Ezekiel thirty four, dominating over them. There's probably
Speaker 1: not nearly enough. It sounds like it's a big church,
Speaker 1: big megachurch. There's probably not nearly enough pastors to handle
Speaker 1: the flock, and or he is he is that cavalier
Speaker 1: with the word of God that he has as slipped
Speaker 1: away into a form of convenience. That's, you know, helping
Speaker 1: him in some way be able to do things that
Speaker 1: he really wants to do, like probably play golf or
Speaker 1: something like that. Once again, I can't comment too much
Speaker 1: on it because I don't know the guy, but I
Speaker 1: think it might be just an overall picture of why
Speaker 1: people go. I don't think I need church. I wouldn't either.
Speaker 1: If I want to that church, I would I would say, grandeur,
Speaker 1: I don't need to go to church. Because if that
Speaker 1: was the version that that was the only thing you knew,
Speaker 1: or if your friend said, hey, come with me to church.
Speaker 1: You're not a believer, come with me, and I'm want
Speaker 1: to show you church, and you come there, and that
Speaker 1: this is the guy, like this is the guy preaching,
Speaker 1: and he says, oh, by the way, download my app
Speaker 1: for forty nine bucks, and if you need a prayer,
Speaker 1: the AI version of me will pray for you from
Speaker 1: the algorithm. If I saw that I was an unbeliever
Speaker 1: and I went with a friend, I would be like,
Speaker 1: ain't going to church anymore. You could have it. You
Speaker 1: could have your religion that is so cold and bland
Speaker 1: and ridiculous. So if you're in a church right now,
Speaker 1: things you should you could be asking yourself is do
Speaker 1: I have a relationship with a pastor at my church?
Speaker 1: You might be part of a small church and there's
Speaker 1: only one pastor, do you have a relationship with him?
Speaker 1: If you are part of a moderate or bigger church,
Speaker 1: there might be two, three, four, five, ten, twenty pastors.
Speaker 1: So I'm saying, do you have a relationship with one
Speaker 1: of them? And I'm not talking about the way that
Speaker 1: we kind of throw around that word pastor. That's something
Speaker 1: you know, that could be a different podcast, But we
Speaker 1: throw around that word pastor like youth pastor, worship pastor,
Speaker 1: finance pastor, you know, greeting's pastor, sports pastor, like we
Speaker 1: throw out all these names. That's not what I mean,
Speaker 1: And I think I defined it pretty well earlier what
Speaker 1: that word means, the shepherd word means. So you wouldn't
Speaker 1: you wouldn't divide it up and say, if you're in
Speaker 1: any kind of leadership, let's throw the name pastor on there.
Speaker 1: And that's what it's called so you wouldn't be a
Speaker 1: worship pastor. A worship pastor doesn't exist. You could have
Speaker 1: a worship leader, the guy that or girl that leads worship.
Speaker 1: You could do that, but you're not a pastor because
Speaker 1: you're not shepherding, teaching, praying, counseling, overseeing, protecting, feeding. That's
Speaker 1: not what the worship guy does. The worship guy could
Speaker 1: be a pastor, but those are two different roles you
Speaker 1: see those They could overlap, but they're different, and so
Speaker 1: you wouldn't. You wouldn't get those two things mixed up.
Speaker 1: And we need to know this. And so if the
Speaker 1: way that I've defined it is that you if you're
Speaker 1: listening right now, do you have a relationship with your
Speaker 1: pastor or one of them and not this sports guy
Speaker 1: or not the greeting guy or not the parking lot pastor,
Speaker 1: you know, the janitorial pastor, like you wouldn't. No, I'm
Speaker 1: not talking about that. Do you have I'm not talking
Speaker 1: about is it your best friend. I'm saying do you
Speaker 1: have access to him? If you need to talk to
Speaker 1: your pastor? Do you have access to him even today?
Speaker 1: Do you have access right now to one of your pastors?
Speaker 1: Because if you don't, then you were a sheep without
Speaker 1: a shepherd, and you could read Ezekiel thirty four and
Speaker 1: see yourself as one of those sheep. I think I
Speaker 1: don't know why. It just it occurred to me before
Speaker 1: I started this podcast that I wanted to at least
Speaker 1: get that ball rolling. So if you're watching on YouTube,
Speaker 1: that's a platform for this podcast that you could actually
Speaker 1: comment on. So go to YouTube or if you're on
Speaker 1: it right now, and comment below and give me some feedback.
Speaker 1: And of course, of course your feedback could be Granger,
Speaker 1: You're wrong about all this, Granger, I'm so sick of
Speaker 1: you talking about this stuff. You're absolutely wrong, You're upside down,
Speaker 1: and let me tell you why. Give me a good
Speaker 1: give me a good rebuke, and tell me why you
Speaker 1: think that. But what I really want is just to
Speaker 1: get the gears turning a little bit. I want people
Speaker 1: to think and go, oh, maybe maybe I've been thinking
Speaker 1: about church all or wrong, or maybe I haven't thought
Speaker 1: of it that way. I've had these conversations, countless conversations
Speaker 1: in person with people on this very topic, and many
Speaker 1: times people will say, I've never thought of it that way.
Speaker 1: I was never taught that pastor would be someone that
Speaker 1: cares for me. That's interesting, right, very interesting. By the way,
Speaker 1: that's on me too. So I am not your pastor.
Speaker 1: If you're watching this podcast and you're asking me questions,
Speaker 1: I'm just as good as the AI app. I might
Speaker 1: as well be Ron's AI pastor or whatever it's called.
Speaker 1: But I'm no better than that. So people that ask
Speaker 1: me questions, this is a This is a I think,
Speaker 1: an edifying conversation that we typically have with each other.
Speaker 1: And I enjoy these conversations, and I hope I can
Speaker 1: be encouraging and helpful to people with their questions. But
Speaker 1: I am not your pastor. I'm just answering your questions.
Speaker 1: You know, this time of year, you might be worried
Speaker 1: that you didn't get the right gift for someone. Are
Speaker 1: you forgot or it's too later you just don't know
Speaker 1: what they get them. I've got an idea for you.
Speaker 1: Go to cameo dot com slash Granger Smith, and I'll
Speaker 1: make you a video message custom just for what you
Speaker 1: need to whoever you want me to send it to.
Speaker 1: If you have a brother or a spouse, or a
Speaker 1: son or a daughter or whoever. It might be just
Speaker 1: a friend, maybe it's for you too. I'll make you
Speaker 1: a video message on my phone and I'll say whatever
Speaker 1: you need me to say. Plus I'll know I'll make
Speaker 1: up my own stuff. Go to cameo dot com slash
Speaker 1: Granger Smith and I'll do that for you today. Let's
Speaker 1: dive into this all this past or talk. You know,
Speaker 1: we got to really get into some questions and if
Speaker 1: you want to email me podcast at grangersmith dot com.
Speaker 1: First one comes from Emily. He says, Hey, Granger, my
Speaker 1: husband just got a job offer in another state. It
Speaker 1: is a great opportunity for him, but moving means leaving
Speaker 1: my family, my job, our church, and everything we build here.
Speaker 1: I'm torn between wanting to support him and feeling like
Speaker 1: I'm losing my own stability. Have you ever had to
Speaker 1: make a big move? How do you decide if it's
Speaker 1: worth uprooting everything for a new opportunity. Thanks for listening, Emily. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is tough, and I have moved several states over
Speaker 1: before twice, but I wasn't married, i didn't have kids,
Speaker 1: and I'm not you. I have seen as these things
Speaker 1: play out, and they play out all the time. I
Speaker 1: have seen men and women act very differently in these situations,
Speaker 1: and usually it's pretty consistent that the man is a
Speaker 1: little bit he handles the adventure, the unknown, the excitement
Speaker 1: of change, he handles it a little more loosely. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna say he handles it better, because I don't
Speaker 1: think this is a matter of better or worse. I
Speaker 1: think it's a matter of I've seen the men are
Speaker 1: a little bit more free to make the change. Let's
Speaker 1: do it, you know, and women, I think which is
Speaker 1: I think it's a great trait for a man to
Speaker 1: think like that. I think it's great for a man
Speaker 1: to say, let's go, let's back up, it's an adventure,
Speaker 1: fresh beginnings. We'll start over, we'll make new friends, we'll
Speaker 1: grow together, we'll become closer. In fact, I did that
Speaker 1: in a small way. I did that whenever after we
Speaker 1: lost RIV and I changed houses twice and ended up
Speaker 1: where I am here right now, because we lived in
Speaker 1: an RV in the barn as we built this house,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to get all my family. I wanted
Speaker 1: to gather everything and start over in a fresh, unknown,
Speaker 1: exciting adventure because I thought that would bond us, and
Speaker 1: I think it did so. I think it's a good
Speaker 1: thing that a man is so quick to do that,
Speaker 1: but such a great balance that it's a good thing
Speaker 1: also that a woman is in many ways different than that.
Speaker 1: That a woman builds a nest and builds a home
Speaker 1: and fills it with with with the things that she loves,
Speaker 1: the people that she surrounds herself with, the people that
Speaker 1: she loves, and a friends and her network, and her
Speaker 1: her grocery store and her garden, and her school, and
Speaker 1: her doctor's office and her dentist and her I mean,
Speaker 1: we're talking everything from cleaners to farmer's market to the
Speaker 1: library to everything that she does. She a woman builds.
Speaker 1: And don't we see a picture of this in nature?
Speaker 1: Don't we see the beautiful picture every spring when the
Speaker 1: sparrows go out and the female sparrows are her gathering, gathering, gathering,
Speaker 1: building this nest, building this nest. And I want to
Speaker 1: watch that. You know in Texas that it happens as
Speaker 1: early as February you start seeing the birds building their nest.
Speaker 1: But it's such a picture that can imagine that you know, this,
Speaker 1: this female sparrow building a nest and the male is
Speaker 1: you know, up on the power line and he's like,
Speaker 1: why don't we put the nest over here? Actually, I
Speaker 1: think it's a better view over here than the female
Speaker 1: is like, I've been working for a month building this nest.
Speaker 1: Don't change my mind, right, So, so just naturally because
Speaker 1: of our makeup, I think that's the balance. Once again,
Speaker 1: that's why, that's why, in God's providence, having a dad
Speaker 1: and a mom and a home is that's the balance.
Speaker 1: That's that's optimum, right, So the optimal balance creates the
Speaker 1: optimal results. It's not always like that, and sometimes situations
Speaker 1: happen that we can't the change everything. But I think, Emily,
Speaker 1: it's so natural for you to have this reservation to go.
Speaker 1: I don't want I don't think I want to move
Speaker 1: my family and my job or church, everything we build there.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's good. But what is good is
Speaker 1: you pumping the brakes on him will help him slow
Speaker 1: the process down and make the decisions with a little
Speaker 1: more clarity, because he might go a little too fast
Speaker 1: and forget about the church situation, forget about the kid's school,
Speaker 1: because he could be like, well, my work is here,
Speaker 1: and this is a great commute, and this is a
Speaker 1: you know, this has got a cool backyard. So I
Speaker 1: think we come here and you come in Emily and
Speaker 1: you go the backyard's nice. But we need to be
Speaker 1: in a place where the kids could have people their kids,
Speaker 1: their own age, so they could play. We need to park,
Speaker 1: we need This is too far from the church that
Speaker 1: we like that we've researched, which you should research that now.
Speaker 1: So to say, I'm not telling you, yes, this is
Speaker 1: you need to move. I'm saying that what you're feeling
Speaker 1: is natural. And sometimes sometimes I shouldn't advocate this, but
Speaker 1: I'm but but sometimes the feeling that you have that
Speaker 1: you shouldn't go is so big and so overwhelming that
Speaker 1: it actually is God using you to tell him no.
Speaker 1: And I've seen that play out. It happens in ministry,
Speaker 1: and I see it, you know, in my studies in
Speaker 1: ministry in seminary, I see this play out a lot
Speaker 1: where a man gets a calling from Orlando to shepherd
Speaker 1: a church and he says, hey, babe, we're going to
Speaker 1: move from Lincoln, Nebraska to Orlando. We're going to do
Speaker 1: it and it's a great opportunity and this is what
Speaker 1: we need. And the wife goes, I ain't going to Orlando.
Speaker 1: I'm not going, and the Lord is using her to
Speaker 1: pump the breaks once again. That relationship is so critical
Speaker 1: to have both have both opinions. So at some point, Emily,
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to reconcile. Is this just my fleshly
Speaker 1: feelings or is this something that's much deeper than that.
Speaker 1: Do I really have a some kind of sincerity that's selfless,
Speaker 1: that's thinking about the kids, and thinking about the new town,
Speaker 1: and thinking about my husband and kind of putting this
Speaker 1: all together rationally. I think that's you're gonna have to
Speaker 1: reconcile that. I have also seen times when the wife
Speaker 1: didn't want to go and ended up going and then
Speaker 1: ended up loving it. My mom was one and she
Speaker 1: tells this story all the time, so I know it
Speaker 1: so well. But my dad and his brother works together
Speaker 1: for a long time for decades, and my brother, my dad,
Speaker 1: my uncle, my dad's brother started this company when they
Speaker 1: were in their twenties, and they built it and built
Speaker 1: it and built it and worked and worked and worked,
Speaker 1: and when they got to be in their late forties,
Speaker 1: another company came in and wanted to buy them. And
Speaker 1: my uncle is eight years older than my dad, and
Speaker 1: so my dad's in his late forties. My uncle is
Speaker 1: in his late fifties, and he says, hey, this is
Speaker 1: what I want. I want to I want to sell.
Speaker 1: This is my dream. Dad's like, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: still have a lot left in me. And so Dad says,
Speaker 1: I'll still work for the company. My uncle says, okay,
Speaker 1: I'll work too. So they decide they're both gonna work.
Speaker 1: They're gonna sell, but they're both going to work. So
Speaker 1: they sold and they both started working, and the company
Speaker 1: fired them after the contract was up or whatever legal had.
Speaker 1: The company pushed them out. So my dad has left
Speaker 1: without a job. So he decides that he is going
Speaker 1: to buy a ranch with the money, sell everything he has,
Speaker 1: and buy some land and start cattle ranching. And my
Speaker 1: mom is like, no, no, there's no way. I am
Speaker 1: not a cattle rancher. My dad's like, the Lord has
Speaker 1: put on my heart that we're going to go and
Speaker 1: take the boys and we're going to live on a
Speaker 1: ranch and raise cattle in a rural area that's twenty
Speaker 1: miles to town, in the middle of nowhere. And my
Speaker 1: mom's like, no, ain'd that's not happening. The Lord spoke
Speaker 1: to you and my mom, I think, she says, She
Speaker 1: laughs and says, how do you know that wasn't indigestion
Speaker 1: that the Lord spoke to you. But later the Lord
Speaker 1: spoke to my mom and she would have to tell
Speaker 1: the story, babe. We could bring on her one day.
Speaker 1: But the Lord spoke to her in a way that
Speaker 1: was very convicting, because she suddenly got this overwhelming feeling
Speaker 1: that the Lord was telling her I could speak to
Speaker 1: your husband without speaking to you, you know. And she
Speaker 1: was very she was very taken back by this idea
Speaker 1: that God told her, I don't have to tell you everything.
Speaker 1: I could tell him some things, you know, which is
Speaker 1: just crushing to the pride. But she folded and she said, okay.
Speaker 1: So then that then what happened is Dad, they moved.
Speaker 1: They ended up getting this place and moving and Dad died.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's crazy. Dad died, and I mean talking
Speaker 1: about throw a wrench in some plans. Mom goes forward
Speaker 1: with buying the cattle and starts starts the cattle business
Speaker 1: of all things, stays there and to this day she
Speaker 1: still lives there. After ten years since Dad's been gone,
Speaker 1: so they've had the place since the late nineties. But
Speaker 1: that's been gone ten years and she's still there and
Speaker 1: still has cattle. So Emily, sometimes the Lord doesn't have
Speaker 1: to speak to you specifically about a situation. He could
Speaker 1: be using your husband. So I think I've given you
Speaker 1: a pretty broad scenario of how it could go a
Speaker 1: lot of different directions. But there's something to think through
Speaker 1: for all of this. Oh sorry, everybody. That's a little
Speaker 1: bit of a long answer, but I think it's a
Speaker 1: good topic. Next question comes from anonymous granger. First off,
Speaker 1: I want to thank you and Amber for everything that
Speaker 1: you have done and helped me grow closer to the Lord.
Speaker 1: I appreciate the encouragement that you both give. I'm a
Speaker 1: teacher in my eighth year. This year has been the
Speaker 1: worst of all and I'm trying to deal with a
Speaker 1: difficult coworker. I get put down, gossiped about, and I
Speaker 1: am never right. Do I just ignore her stand up
Speaker 1: for myself. It is really hard for me just to
Speaker 1: trust in God. Right now. I am thinking and praying
Speaker 1: about switching jobs. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks so much, Anonymous.
Speaker 1: Thanks for the email. It's difficult. This is a hard
Speaker 1: question without me knowing very many details about it. So
Speaker 1: I always I think of these questions. As you know,
Speaker 1: you and I are riding in a cab of a
Speaker 1: truck and are sitting around a campfire, and you say,
Speaker 1: can I run something by you? And if I hear
Speaker 1: this immediately asking more information? First, have you not talked
Speaker 1: to the boss because the principle in this case, I'm
Speaker 1: assuming there's a principle because you're a teacher, and I'm
Speaker 1: assuming it's a school. And I would wonder your coworkers,
Speaker 1: your other colleagues, do they know about this? Does the
Speaker 1: principle know about this? And maybe most importantly and not
Speaker 1: that obvious, does the difficult coworker know this? Does the
Speaker 1: difficult coworker know you feel this way? Communication is key,
Speaker 1: information is key, and this has to be something. I mean,
Speaker 1: you are saying, it's really hard for me to trust
Speaker 1: God right now, I'm thinking and praying about switching jobs.
Speaker 1: I can't go there yet, you're not trusting God in this.
Speaker 1: I can't go there unless I know more information. So
Speaker 1: we'll put that away for a second, and we'll just say,
Speaker 1: without without gossiping, without slandering, while being gentle and humble
Speaker 1: and respectful and yet truthful and bold if you can
Speaker 1: combine those different attributes self control, all the fruits of
Speaker 1: the spirit. If you can use those attributes and approach
Speaker 1: this coworker, then I will start there. In fact, the
Speaker 1: Bible would encourage to start there. Hey, could I got
Speaker 1: to take you to coffee on Wednesday? Are you free
Speaker 1: after work? I'd love to just get away from here,
Speaker 1: away from the distractions, and I would love to just
Speaker 1: have a cup of coffee with you. Is that is that? Okay? Okay?
Speaker 1: You go to coffee, You offer to buy the coffee.
Speaker 1: Always courteous, always generous, always respectful, not reactive, You're quick
Speaker 1: to listen, slow to anger, right, and you just say
Speaker 1: I have struggled. I want to be totally honest with you.
Speaker 1: I've done this for eight years, and I've struggled a
Speaker 1: bit this year. And I think you probably could see it.
Speaker 1: I think you probably have noticed that you and I
Speaker 1: don't always see eye to eye on things, and I
Speaker 1: just I wanted to take you to coffee to say,
Speaker 1: how could I be better for you? How could I
Speaker 1: be a better co worker so that for the children,
Speaker 1: and for your sake and for my sake, we reduce
Speaker 1: this friction, because it just feels like you and I
Speaker 1: just kind of rub and I think you're an amazing person,
Speaker 1: and so I just want to know how could I
Speaker 1: I be better? How can I serve you better? How
Speaker 1: could I be a better friend, a better coworker? Because
Speaker 1: I love my job and obviously you're really good at
Speaker 1: your job and you love your job, So how could
Speaker 1: I How can I get in better standings with you?
Speaker 1: You start there. I don't think you start anywhere else
Speaker 1: but there, And you pray before you do it. You
Speaker 1: pray on the way to the coffee, and you literally pray.
Speaker 1: Some of y'all listening know exactly what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: You literally pray while you're talking. So in between breaths,
Speaker 1: your Lord, give me the words, Lord, give me self control, Lord,
Speaker 1: keep me humble, let me be loving to her right
Speaker 1: so that you're praying, literally praying why you're talking. You
Speaker 1: say that, you get your piece out, and then you
Speaker 1: It depends on the reaction, depends on how she reacts
Speaker 1: to you. It depends on what she says right there
Speaker 1: at coffee, and then how the next few weeks ago,
Speaker 1: if things are still really bad, you feel like it
Speaker 1: didn't matter. You're being gossiped about slandered. Then you go
Speaker 1: to a coworker and you say, I wonder if you
Speaker 1: could come with me, if you're agree, and we could
Speaker 1: talk to this person together. Is that something we could do,
Speaker 1: because I would say, most likely other people see it
Speaker 1: and agree with you if they don't, if you're the
Speaker 1: only one in the whole school that sees it and
Speaker 1: no one else sees it, everyone else loves this coworker.
Speaker 1: The problem is you all. It's all you. You see
Speaker 1: you can't everyone's not deceived, and you're the only one.
Speaker 1: Right that's impossible. So if this person really is a problem,
Speaker 1: then other people see it too. And you do another
Speaker 1: coffee with a second person and you say, dear co worker,
Speaker 1: we met five weeks ago, we talked about this, and
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm still not getting it. I feel
Speaker 1: like you and I still have some friction, and I
Speaker 1: still want to know how I could be better. I've
Speaker 1: done this and this and this, like you said, and
Speaker 1: I still feel like there's a problem, so much so
Speaker 1: that I brought I brought co worker BE here, and
Speaker 1: then co worker B says, yeah, you know, coworker A.
Speaker 1: I hate to say, but I kind of I agree
Speaker 1: with her. I see the same thing, and you and
Speaker 1: I have had the same thing. Okay, that's step two.
Speaker 1: If she still says, you know, pacifies the situation, it's
Speaker 1: still bad. Some more time goes by. Then now it's
Speaker 1: time to have a meeting with the principal, the boss.
Speaker 1: Bring the boss in, and you say, I got coworker B,
Speaker 1: I got coworker A, and we're having a problem. I
Speaker 1: don't think it's the best thing for the children, for
Speaker 1: us to have this kind of friction. The principle at
Speaker 1: that point says work it out, or someone's gonna leave,
Speaker 1: or you're fired, or whatever happens. But resolution takes another
Speaker 1: step forward at that point. Right. So these are just
Speaker 1: practical steps, and all of them involve conversation, being upfront,
Speaker 1: being humble, and loving. And if all of that fails,
Speaker 1: all of it, then you could think about switching jobs.
Speaker 1: But I don't think in your eighth year you switch
Speaker 1: jobs until you've gone through those three steps. Okay, my
Speaker 1: time is getting late, so I'm gonna end here and
Speaker 1: say I love you guys, and we'll see you next Monday.
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate
Speaker 1: all of you guys, you could help me out by
Speaker 1: rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe
Speaker 1: to this channel, hit that little like button and notification
Speaker 1: spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
Speaker 1: YI