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Speaker 1: What's up, everybody, Welcome back to the podcast. So grateful

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Speaker 1: to have you here. I was talking with some guys

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Speaker 1: today and thinking about how this podcast has been going

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Speaker 1: on since twenty seventeen and you guys are still listening,

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Speaker 1: So I'm very grateful. And the format of this podcast

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Speaker 1: as you email me Questions podcast at grangersmith dot com,

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Speaker 1: as the email once again podcast at grangersmith dot com.

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Speaker 1: Ask me anything could be about any subject. In fact,

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Speaker 1: the more really, the more crazy, the better because that's

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Speaker 1: going to make your email stand out and it just

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Speaker 1: broadens the podcast topics. Really, I think that over the

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Speaker 1: years we've talked about a whole different I mean, it

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Speaker 1: has been so so varied in the questions, especially as

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Speaker 1: is my life has kind of changed through the podcast.

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Speaker 1: I think the questions for me have changed, and the

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Speaker 1: audience has changed. I did hear from Tyler, my brother.

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Speaker 1: I did hear from him and ant Man literally moments

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Speaker 1: ago before I started this podcast that we are planning

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Speaker 1: this live podcast tour for twenty twenty five. Tyler said,

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Speaker 1: you want to do a podcast tour alive where we

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Speaker 1: you know, set up. We go like to a theater

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Speaker 1: and we set up on the stage and answer questions live.

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Speaker 1: He said, do you want to do that with a

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Speaker 1: live audience in twenty twenty five? I said, bro, I've

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Speaker 1: been wanting to do that for years. So I don't know.

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Speaker 1: As far as I know he's planning it. It may

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Speaker 1: or may not happen soon, but I would imagine it

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Speaker 1: would happen at some point, not a matter of if.

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Speaker 1: Just when there's a couple things I want to talk

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Speaker 1: about on this podcast before we get to the questions,

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Speaker 1: before we get to your questions, And I've been thinking

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Speaker 1: about something, and as we talk a lot on here

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Speaker 1: about churches, and people are looking for churches and thinking

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Speaker 1: about churches and hurt from churches, and they don't want

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Speaker 1: to go to church anymore because of what it represents,

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Speaker 1: or they think that I'm good on my own, I

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Speaker 1: don't need a church, or I'm good I could find

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Speaker 1: God in the woods, or you don't need a church

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Speaker 1: to make you a Christian. You know, we get all

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Speaker 1: these kind of comments, which which is not my point.

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Speaker 1: My point is today I think so many times the

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Speaker 1: root problem of a lot of those jaded feelings about

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Speaker 1: the gathering is a misunderstanding about the role of pastor.

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Speaker 1: And that's a pretty deep topic. And the Bible is

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Speaker 1: a very clear and you might not know this, the

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Speaker 1: Bible is very clear about the role of a pastor,

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Speaker 1: what he should be doing, what his job is. Why

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Speaker 1: the Lord calls pastors, you know, and as leaders of

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Speaker 1: the church. These pastors sometimes referred to, depending on the church,

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Speaker 1: as elder, our overseer, our bishop. It's all the same root,

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Speaker 1: that root of that word what it means in both

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Speaker 1: Hebrew and Greek, both of them mean shepherd, and they

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Speaker 1: are thought of. They are illustrated in the Bible as

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Speaker 1: a shepherd and sheep, the flock. The sheep is the people,

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Speaker 1: and there is the great shepherd Jesus, and all of

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Speaker 1: the sheep which she talks to. What she talks about,

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Speaker 1: like in John ten when he says, my sheep hear

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Speaker 1: my voice, and they that I know them, and they

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Speaker 1: follow me, and I give them eternal life, and they

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Speaker 1: will never perish, and no one will snatch them out

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Speaker 1: of my hand. Right, So he talks about all the flock.

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Speaker 1: But then there like these mini flocks, and those are

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Speaker 1: those are the under shepherds. And that's what we hear

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Speaker 1: about in the Bible. That's most of the time when

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Speaker 1: we're hearing about pastors, we're talking about the flocks within

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Speaker 1: the big flock, and the under shepherds are in charge.

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Speaker 1: And so these are churches. A church. People are right

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Speaker 1: in saying that it's not the building and the brick

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Speaker 1: and the mortar, it is the gathering. That word church

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Speaker 1: ecclesia means gathering. So the church is the gathering. Which

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Speaker 1: is why, like for instance, at my church at Amais,

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Speaker 1: at the beginning, we would say the appropriate way to

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Speaker 1: start the you know, the the right way to say

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Speaker 1: hello would be welcome to this gathering of a Mais church.

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Speaker 1: You see what I mean. So instead of saying welcome

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Speaker 1: to our church, welcome to the gathering. You know, because

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Speaker 1: we the people the gathering. This, this is this gathering of

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Speaker 1: the church. This is today's gathering, right as opposed to

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Speaker 1: the building of the place. And so when we think

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Speaker 1: about these under shepherds, pastors, elders, bishops, when we when

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Speaker 1: we think of this and we think of in terms

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Speaker 1: of what the Bible always illustrates as a shepherd in sheep,

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Speaker 1: and we think of the the flock, the think of

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Speaker 1: the little flock and a flock would be in a

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Speaker 1: certain area. You would you would understand the boundaries of

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Speaker 1: the flock. The boundaries of that smaller flock would be

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Speaker 1: the church. And I'm I'm walking through this because of

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Speaker 1: I get so many emails and questions about church. What

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Speaker 1: is church? Why is church? Who is church? You know what?

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Speaker 1: I don't need to go to church, or I do

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Speaker 1: need to go to church. But maybe it would help

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Speaker 1: instead of just saying here's what you need to do,

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Speaker 1: maybe it would help if first we just talked about

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Speaker 1: what church is. And that's a longer topic, but just basically,

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Speaker 1: let's think of it in terms of a shepherd and

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Speaker 1: a flock, a little flock, and the flock would have boundaries.

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Speaker 1: You would know who's in the flock. You would know

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Speaker 1: if you were a shepherd, you would know who are

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Speaker 1: your sheep, and then who are the sheep in the

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Speaker 1: mountain over there? That's the other guy's flock, the other shepherd,

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Speaker 1: and then you would there would be one in the valley,

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Speaker 1: and that's a bigger flock, and that one that's bigger

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Speaker 1: in the valley. It has three shepherds because because those

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Speaker 1: guys have to know every sheep and their flock and

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Speaker 1: because there's more sheep than the one in the hill,

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Speaker 1: the ones down here, they need more shepherds. So in

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Speaker 1: the Bible and the New Testament, when letters are going

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Speaker 1: to the churches, right, Paul's writing letters, John's writing letters.

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Speaker 1: These letters go out to the churches and to the elders,

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Speaker 1: like it's the the elders in Ephesus. So it's plural,

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Speaker 1: so that the bigger the flock, the more shepherds. Right

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Speaker 1: are you shocking with me? So far? A shepherd is

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Speaker 1: thought of as just like a excuse me. A pastor

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Speaker 1: is thought of just like a shepherd in terms of

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Speaker 1: their role is to care for the flock, protect, guide,

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Speaker 1: feed in all the same analogies. And where I'm going

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Speaker 1: with this really is I think we've i think we've

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Speaker 1: missedefined it a lot of times. And so when we

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Speaker 1: think of churches, sometimes we see someone on Instagram could

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Speaker 1: be me giving a message. And if I'm in New

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Speaker 1: Jersey given a message, I'm not. I'm not their pastor.

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Speaker 1: I'm just a preacher. I'm an evangelist coming in and

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Speaker 1: preaching the word. And that's different than a pastor. A

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Speaker 1: church must have a pastor, and the bigger it gets

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Speaker 1: it must have multiple pastors. A church cannot exist with

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Speaker 1: a gathering of people, which is what it is, and

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Speaker 1: a preacher or an evangelist that doesn't that doesn't fit

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Speaker 1: the bill. The evangelist or the preacher could come in

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Speaker 1: and give a word of exhortation or teaching, but that

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Speaker 1: guy is not caring for the flock. He's not protecting

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Speaker 1: the flock from the wolves. He's not feeding the flock

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Speaker 1: with these the spiritual appet the spiritual nutrients that that

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Speaker 1: meet the appetite of the flock. You're tracking with me.

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Speaker 1: So many times we see bad churches and the reason

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Speaker 1: they're bad, and we might not always can't always point

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Speaker 1: to it, but one of the overarching reasons is they

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Speaker 1: have a preacher and not a pastor. And more often

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Speaker 1: when they're big, they have one preacher and some associate

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Speaker 1: guys that aren't really doing the job of overseeing either.

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Speaker 1: And so the church, the gathering doesn't have a leader.

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Speaker 1: Now watch what the Bible says about this. This is crazy.

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Speaker 1: Ezekiel thirty four. And you can check me on this,

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Speaker 1: Ezekiel thirty four. And at the very beginning verse one,

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Speaker 1: it says, then the word of Yahweh came to me, saying,

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Speaker 1: son of Man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel. So

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Speaker 1: this is the pastors prophesy, and say to these shepherds,

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Speaker 1: Thus says Lord Yadweh, Woe shepherds of Israel, who have

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Speaker 1: been shepherding themselves. Should not the shepherd's shepherd the flock.

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Speaker 1: You eat the fat and clothe yourself with wool. You

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Speaker 1: sacrifice the fat sheep without shepherding the flock. Those who

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Speaker 1: are sickly you have not strengthened, and the disease you

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Speaker 1: have not healed, and the broken you have not bound up.

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Speaker 1: And the scattered you have not brought back. Nor have

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Speaker 1: you searched for the lost. But with strength and with

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Speaker 1: severity you have dominated them. They were scattered for lack

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Speaker 1: of a shepherd. They become food for every beast of

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Speaker 1: the field, and were scattered. My flock wandered through all

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Speaker 1: the mountains, on every high hill. My flock was scattered

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Speaker 1: all over the surface of the earth, and there was

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Speaker 1: no one to seek or search for them. Therefore, you shepherds,

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Speaker 1: hear the word of Yahweh. And he goes on to

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Speaker 1: continue to rebuke the shepherds and those are harsh words.

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Speaker 1: So we could look back at verse four. They kind

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Speaker 1: of give this gift, this overall definition of what they

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Speaker 1: what they should be doing, but they're not Verse four.

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Speaker 1: Those who are sickly you have not strengthened. So a

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Speaker 1: good pastor would strengthen the flock. The disease do you

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Speaker 1: have not healed, So a good pastor would be doing

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Speaker 1: everything he can to heal the flock and the broken.

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Speaker 1: You have not bound up. We're talking this could be

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Speaker 1: as broad as you want. Counseling, listening, guiding, and the scattered.

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Speaker 1: You have not brought back, the wonders, the people that

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Speaker 1: are that are slipping from the faith, that are that

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Speaker 1: are haven't been in a few Sundays. Maybe that's it.

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Speaker 1: Maybe that's it. Are they're getting weaker in the faith,

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Speaker 1: or there they are wayward, the pastor goes and gets

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Speaker 1: them and brings them back. And in order to do that,

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Speaker 1: you would need to know who's who's in the group,

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Speaker 1: right You can't you can't search for a wayward sheep

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Speaker 1: if you don't even know who your sheep are, because

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Speaker 1: it's just so many of them and they just come

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Speaker 1: and go. You don't even know next, nor have you

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Speaker 1: searched for the lost same thing, but with strength and

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Speaker 1: with severity, you've dominated them. That those are harsh words,

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Speaker 1: and I think with that, I want to play video

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Speaker 1: and for those of you watch it and can watch it

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Speaker 1: with me, I'll record it for Paul and those of

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Speaker 1: you listening, you could just listen because it does the

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Speaker 1: same thing. But I saw this video. I actually shared

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Speaker 1: it with Marshall, my pastor, and I'm not gonna I

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Speaker 1: don't know this guy, so this is nothing on him personally,

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Speaker 1: but I think it's such a picture of where we

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Speaker 1: have gone. And so when you hear this, think about

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Speaker 1: that that rebuke from Ezekiel thirty four that the Lord

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Speaker 1: is telling his prophet Ezekiel to tell to the shepherds.

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Speaker 1: Think of that in your mind and think how absolutely

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Speaker 1: absurd this is. If you're listening right nowt of this

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Speaker 1: podcast and you're not a Christian, you could absolutely see

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Speaker 1: how absurd this is for all Christians, and you, the

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Speaker 1: non believer that's listening, you should laugh at this rightly,

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Speaker 1: so you could say that is ridiculous. Who does this

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Speaker 1: guy think he is? And you don't have to be

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Speaker 1: a believer to agree this is ridiculous and really the

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Speaker 1: way of the way of so many churches, and that

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Speaker 1: this is a possible prediction on how a bad, how

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Speaker 1: much worse it could get. The backstory is all I

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Speaker 1: really know is this is a megachurch pastor who created

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Speaker 1: an AI app to pastor his people. So think about

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Speaker 1: it in terms of a shepherd creates an app to

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Speaker 1: shepherd the sheep with so much so that the people

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Speaker 1: could get on the app, download the app, and get

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Speaker 1: it and then ask him questions and the AI version

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Speaker 1: of him answers the questions. As if that is fulfilling

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Speaker 1: the role shepherd, let me press play.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'd love to have my own personal pastor. So

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Speaker 2: I had to run Governor Ministry's archive and I called

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Speaker 2: Pastor Ron. And after I call Pastor Ron, let's say,

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Speaker 2: you know what, Let's say I'm not feeling good to

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Speaker 2: my brother character. How can I help Pastor Ron, I'm

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Speaker 2: not feeling well today? Could you pray for me?

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Speaker 1: Hey?

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Speaker 3: There, I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Let's

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Speaker 3: take a moment to pray together. Heavenly Father, I thank

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Speaker 3: you that you know us and hear us right now.

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Speaker 3: I lift up my friend to you. I ask for

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Speaker 3: your healing touch to be a pon. You'll know more

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Speaker 3: about it. You have to wait. We'll tell you later.

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Speaker 1: Now, apparently I don't know a lot about this. But

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Speaker 1: apparently this app is going to cost money, like fifty bucks.

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Speaker 1: He's get to charge for it. Let me say, I

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Speaker 1: do know these guys that posted this. I know of him,

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Speaker 1: I don't know a lot, and so I will say

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Speaker 1: that that could this could be all wrong, like that

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Speaker 1: could be fake. I don't think it is. I think

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Speaker 1: it's real, but I'm not sitting here stating that this

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Speaker 1: is absolute fact because I don't know this pastor. And

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Speaker 1: maybe this is a total parody, but I don't. You

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Speaker 1: could judge for yourself. I don't think it is. I

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Speaker 1: think this guy really created an app, a pastor app

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Speaker 1: that people can get on and say, hey, Pastor, I'm sick,

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Speaker 1: will you pray for me? And because either he doesn't

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Speaker 1: want to Ezekiel thirty four, or he's pastor, he's shepherding

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Speaker 1: himself like Ezekiel thirty four, dominating over them. There's probably

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Speaker 1: not nearly enough. It sounds like it's a big church,

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Speaker 1: big megachurch. There's probably not nearly enough pastors to handle

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Speaker 1: the flock, and or he is he is that cavalier

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Speaker 1: with the word of God that he has as slipped

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Speaker 1: away into a form of convenience. That's, you know, helping

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Speaker 1: him in some way be able to do things that

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Speaker 1: he really wants to do, like probably play golf or

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Speaker 1: something like that. Once again, I can't comment too much

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Speaker 1: on it because I don't know the guy, but I

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Speaker 1: think it might be just an overall picture of why

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Speaker 1: people go. I don't think I need church. I wouldn't either.

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Speaker 1: If I want to that church, I would I would say, grandeur,

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Speaker 1: I don't need to go to church. Because if that

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Speaker 1: was the version that that was the only thing you knew,

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Speaker 1: or if your friend said, hey, come with me to church.

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Speaker 1: You're not a believer, come with me, and I'm want

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Speaker 1: to show you church, and you come there, and that

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Speaker 1: this is the guy, like this is the guy preaching,

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Speaker 1: and he says, oh, by the way, download my app

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Speaker 1: for forty nine bucks, and if you need a prayer,

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Speaker 1: the AI version of me will pray for you from

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Speaker 1: the algorithm. If I saw that I was an unbeliever

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Speaker 1: and I went with a friend, I would be like,

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Speaker 1: ain't going to church anymore. You could have it. You

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Speaker 1: could have your religion that is so cold and bland

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Speaker 1: and ridiculous. So if you're in a church right now,

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Speaker 1: things you should you could be asking yourself is do

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Speaker 1: I have a relationship with a pastor at my church?

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Speaker 1: You might be part of a small church and there's

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Speaker 1: only one pastor, do you have a relationship with him?

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Speaker 1: If you are part of a moderate or bigger church,

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Speaker 1: there might be two, three, four, five, ten, twenty pastors.

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Speaker 1: So I'm saying, do you have a relationship with one

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Speaker 1: of them? And I'm not talking about the way that

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Speaker 1: we kind of throw around that word pastor. That's something

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Speaker 1: you know, that could be a different podcast, But we

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Speaker 1: throw around that word pastor like youth pastor, worship pastor,

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Speaker 1: finance pastor, you know, greeting's pastor, sports pastor, like we

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Speaker 1: throw out all these names. That's not what I mean,

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Speaker 1: And I think I defined it pretty well earlier what

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Speaker 1: that word means, the shepherd word means. So you wouldn't

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't divide it up and say, if you're in

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Speaker 1: any kind of leadership, let's throw the name pastor on there.

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Speaker 1: And that's what it's called so you wouldn't be a

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Speaker 1: worship pastor. A worship pastor doesn't exist. You could have

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Speaker 1: a worship leader, the guy that or girl that leads worship.

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Speaker 1: You could do that, but you're not a pastor because

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Speaker 1: you're not shepherding, teaching, praying, counseling, overseeing, protecting, feeding. That's

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Speaker 1: not what the worship guy does. The worship guy could

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Speaker 1: be a pastor, but those are two different roles you

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Speaker 1: see those They could overlap, but they're different, and so

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't. You wouldn't get those two things mixed up.

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Speaker 1: And we need to know this. And so if the

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Speaker 1: way that I've defined it is that you if you're

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Speaker 1: listening right now, do you have a relationship with your

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Speaker 1: pastor or one of them and not this sports guy

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Speaker 1: or not the greeting guy or not the parking lot pastor,

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Speaker 1: you know, the janitorial pastor, like you wouldn't. No, I'm

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Speaker 1: not talking about that. Do you have I'm not talking

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Speaker 1: about is it your best friend. I'm saying do you

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Speaker 1: have access to him? If you need to talk to

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Speaker 1: your pastor? Do you have access to him even today?

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Speaker 1: Do you have access right now to one of your pastors?

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Speaker 1: Because if you don't, then you were a sheep without

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Speaker 1: a shepherd, and you could read Ezekiel thirty four and

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Speaker 1: see yourself as one of those sheep. I think I

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Speaker 1: don't know why. It just it occurred to me before

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Speaker 1: I started this podcast that I wanted to at least

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Speaker 1: get that ball rolling. So if you're watching on YouTube,

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Speaker 1: that's a platform for this podcast that you could actually

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Speaker 1: comment on. So go to YouTube or if you're on

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Speaker 1: it right now, and comment below and give me some feedback.

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Speaker 1: And of course, of course your feedback could be Granger,

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Speaker 1: You're wrong about all this, Granger, I'm so sick of

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Speaker 1: you talking about this stuff. You're absolutely wrong, You're upside down,

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Speaker 1: and let me tell you why. Give me a good

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Speaker 1: give me a good rebuke, and tell me why you

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Speaker 1: think that. But what I really want is just to

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Speaker 1: get the gears turning a little bit. I want people

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Speaker 1: to think and go, oh, maybe maybe I've been thinking

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Speaker 1: about church all or wrong, or maybe I haven't thought

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Speaker 1: of it that way. I've had these conversations, countless conversations

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Speaker 1: in person with people on this very topic, and many

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Speaker 1: times people will say, I've never thought of it that way.

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Speaker 1: I was never taught that pastor would be someone that

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Speaker 1: cares for me. That's interesting, right, very interesting. By the way,

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Speaker 1: that's on me too. So I am not your pastor.

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Speaker 1: If you're watching this podcast and you're asking me questions,

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Speaker 1: I'm just as good as the AI app. I might

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Speaker 1: as well be Ron's AI pastor or whatever it's called.

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Speaker 1: But I'm no better than that. So people that ask

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Speaker 1: me questions, this is a This is a I think,

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Speaker 1: an edifying conversation that we typically have with each other.

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Speaker 1: And I enjoy these conversations, and I hope I can

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Speaker 1: be encouraging and helpful to people with their questions. But

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Speaker 1: I am not your pastor. I'm just answering your questions.

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Speaker 1: You know, this time of year, you might be worried

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Speaker 1: that you didn't get the right gift for someone. Are

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Speaker 1: you forgot or it's too later you just don't know

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Speaker 1: what they get them. I've got an idea for you.

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Speaker 1: Go to cameo dot com slash Granger Smith, and I'll

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Speaker 1: make you a video message custom just for what you

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Speaker 1: need to whoever you want me to send it to.

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Speaker 1: If you have a brother or a spouse, or a

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Speaker 1: son or a daughter or whoever. It might be just

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Speaker 1: a friend, maybe it's for you too. I'll make you

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Speaker 1: a video message on my phone and I'll say whatever

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Speaker 1: you need me to say. Plus I'll know I'll make

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Speaker 1: up my own stuff. Go to cameo dot com slash

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Speaker 1: Granger Smith and I'll do that for you today. Let's

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Speaker 1: dive into this all this past or talk. You know,

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Speaker 1: we got to really get into some questions and if

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Speaker 1: you want to email me podcast at grangersmith dot com.

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Speaker 1: First one comes from Emily. He says, Hey, Granger, my

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Speaker 1: husband just got a job offer in another state. It

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Speaker 1: is a great opportunity for him, but moving means leaving

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Speaker 1: my family, my job, our church, and everything we build here.

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Speaker 1: I'm torn between wanting to support him and feeling like

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Speaker 1: I'm losing my own stability. Have you ever had to

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Speaker 1: make a big move? How do you decide if it's

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Speaker 1: worth uprooting everything for a new opportunity. Thanks for listening, Emily. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is tough, and I have moved several states over

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Speaker 1: before twice, but I wasn't married, i didn't have kids,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not you. I have seen as these things

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Speaker 1: play out, and they play out all the time. I

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Speaker 1: have seen men and women act very differently in these situations,

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Speaker 1: and usually it's pretty consistent that the man is a

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Speaker 1: little bit he handles the adventure, the unknown, the excitement

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Speaker 1: of change, he handles it a little more loosely. I'm

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Speaker 1: not gonna say he handles it better, because I don't

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Speaker 1: think this is a matter of better or worse. I

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Speaker 1: think it's a matter of I've seen the men are

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Speaker 1: a little bit more free to make the change. Let's

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Speaker 1: do it, you know, and women, I think which is

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Speaker 1: I think it's a great trait for a man to

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Speaker 1: think like that. I think it's great for a man

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Speaker 1: to say, let's go, let's back up, it's an adventure,

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Speaker 1: fresh beginnings. We'll start over, we'll make new friends, we'll

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Speaker 1: grow together, we'll become closer. In fact, I did that

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Speaker 1: in a small way. I did that whenever after we

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Speaker 1: lost RIV and I changed houses twice and ended up

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Speaker 1: where I am here right now, because we lived in

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Speaker 1: an RV in the barn as we built this house,

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Speaker 1: and I wanted to get all my family. I wanted

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Speaker 1: to gather everything and start over in a fresh, unknown,

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Speaker 1: exciting adventure because I thought that would bond us, and

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Speaker 1: I think it did so. I think it's a good

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Speaker 1: thing that a man is so quick to do that,

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Speaker 1: but such a great balance that it's a good thing

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Speaker 1: also that a woman is in many ways different than that.

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Speaker 1: That a woman builds a nest and builds a home

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Speaker 1: and fills it with with with the things that she loves,

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Speaker 1: the people that she surrounds herself with, the people that

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Speaker 1: she loves, and a friends and her network, and her

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Speaker 1: her grocery store and her garden, and her school, and

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Speaker 1: her doctor's office and her dentist and her I mean,

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Speaker 1: we're talking everything from cleaners to farmer's market to the

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Speaker 1: library to everything that she does. She a woman builds.

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Speaker 1: And don't we see a picture of this in nature?

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Speaker 1: Don't we see the beautiful picture every spring when the

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Speaker 1: sparrows go out and the female sparrows are her gathering, gathering, gathering,

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Speaker 1: building this nest, building this nest. And I want to

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Speaker 1: watch that. You know in Texas that it happens as

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Speaker 1: early as February you start seeing the birds building their nest.

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Speaker 1: But it's such a picture that can imagine that you know, this,

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Speaker 1: this female sparrow building a nest and the male is

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Speaker 1: you know, up on the power line and he's like,

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Speaker 1: why don't we put the nest over here? Actually, I

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Speaker 1: think it's a better view over here than the female

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Speaker 1: is like, I've been working for a month building this nest.

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Speaker 1: Don't change my mind, right, So, so just naturally because

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Speaker 1: of our makeup, I think that's the balance. Once again,

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Speaker 1: that's why, that's why, in God's providence, having a dad

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Speaker 1: and a mom and a home is that's the balance.

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Speaker 1: That's that's optimum, right, So the optimal balance creates the

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Speaker 1: optimal results. It's not always like that, and sometimes situations

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Speaker 1: happen that we can't the change everything. But I think, Emily,

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Speaker 1: it's so natural for you to have this reservation to go.

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Speaker 1: I don't want I don't think I want to move

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Speaker 1: my family and my job or church, everything we build there.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that's good. But what is good is

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Speaker 1: you pumping the brakes on him will help him slow

426
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,960
Speaker 1: the process down and make the decisions with a little

427
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:25,120
Speaker 1: more clarity, because he might go a little too fast

428
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:31,119
Speaker 1: and forget about the church situation, forget about the kid's school,

429
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 1: because he could be like, well, my work is here,

430
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 1: and this is a great commute, and this is a

431
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:38,879
Speaker 1: you know, this has got a cool backyard. So I

432
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 1: think we come here and you come in Emily and

433
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:45,639
Speaker 1: you go the backyard's nice. But we need to be

434
00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 1: in a place where the kids could have people their kids,

435
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 1: their own age, so they could play. We need to park,

436
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:53,959
Speaker 1: we need This is too far from the church that

437
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 1: we like that we've researched, which you should research that now.

438
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:02,439
Speaker 1: So to say, I'm not telling you, yes, this is

439
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 1: you need to move. I'm saying that what you're feeling

440
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 1: is natural. And sometimes sometimes I shouldn't advocate this, but

441
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:16,399
Speaker 1: I'm but but sometimes the feeling that you have that

442
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:21,679
Speaker 1: you shouldn't go is so big and so overwhelming that

443
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:25,240
Speaker 1: it actually is God using you to tell him no.

444
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 1: And I've seen that play out. It happens in ministry,

445
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,159
Speaker 1: and I see it, you know, in my studies in

446
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,400
Speaker 1: ministry in seminary, I see this play out a lot

447
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 1: where a man gets a calling from Orlando to shepherd

448
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,760
Speaker 1: a church and he says, hey, babe, we're going to

449
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 1: move from Lincoln, Nebraska to Orlando. We're going to do

450
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 1: it and it's a great opportunity and this is what

451
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:53,520
Speaker 1: we need. And the wife goes, I ain't going to Orlando.

452
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 1: I'm not going, and the Lord is using her to

453
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:05,200
Speaker 1: pump the breaks once again. That relationship is so critical

454
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 1: to have both have both opinions. So at some point, Emily,

455
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to reconcile. Is this just my fleshly

456
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 1: feelings or is this something that's much deeper than that.

457
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 1: Do I really have a some kind of sincerity that's selfless,

458
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 1: that's thinking about the kids, and thinking about the new town,

459
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,680
Speaker 1: and thinking about my husband and kind of putting this

460
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,960
Speaker 1: all together rationally. I think that's you're gonna have to

461
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 1: reconcile that. I have also seen times when the wife

462
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 1: didn't want to go and ended up going and then

463
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 1: ended up loving it. My mom was one and she

464
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 1: tells this story all the time, so I know it

465
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 1: so well. But my dad and his brother works together

466
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:57,440
Speaker 1: for a long time for decades, and my brother, my dad,

467
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 1: my uncle, my dad's brother started this company when they

468
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 1: were in their twenties, and they built it and built

469
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,160
Speaker 1: it and built it and worked and worked and worked,

470
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:10,760
Speaker 1: and when they got to be in their late forties,

471
00:30:12,480 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 1: another company came in and wanted to buy them. And

472
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 1: my uncle is eight years older than my dad, and

473
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:22,960
Speaker 1: so my dad's in his late forties. My uncle is

474
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 1: in his late fifties, and he says, hey, this is

475
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 1: what I want. I want to I want to sell.

476
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:33,320
Speaker 1: This is my dream. Dad's like, I don't know. I

477
00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 1: still have a lot left in me. And so Dad says,

478
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 1: I'll still work for the company. My uncle says, okay,

479
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 1: I'll work too. So they decide they're both gonna work.

480
00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 1: They're gonna sell, but they're both going to work. So

481
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 1: they sold and they both started working, and the company

482
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 1: fired them after the contract was up or whatever legal had.

483
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 1: The company pushed them out. So my dad has left

484
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 1: without a job. So he decides that he is going

485
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 1: to buy a ranch with the money, sell everything he has,

486
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 1: and buy some land and start cattle ranching. And my

487
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 1: mom is like, no, no, there's no way. I am

488
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 1: not a cattle rancher. My dad's like, the Lord has

489
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 1: put on my heart that we're going to go and

490
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 1: take the boys and we're going to live on a

491
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 1: ranch and raise cattle in a rural area that's twenty

492
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 1: miles to town, in the middle of nowhere. And my

493
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 1: mom's like, no, ain'd that's not happening. The Lord spoke

494
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:45,520
Speaker 1: to you and my mom, I think, she says, She

495
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:47,880
Speaker 1: laughs and says, how do you know that wasn't indigestion

496
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 1: that the Lord spoke to you. But later the Lord

497
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:56,160
Speaker 1: spoke to my mom and she would have to tell

498
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 1: the story, babe. We could bring on her one day.

499
00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 1: But the Lord spoke to her in a way that

500
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 1: was very convicting, because she suddenly got this overwhelming feeling

501
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 1: that the Lord was telling her I could speak to

502
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 1: your husband without speaking to you, you know. And she

503
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:20,360
Speaker 1: was very she was very taken back by this idea

504
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 1: that God told her, I don't have to tell you everything.

505
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,240
Speaker 1: I could tell him some things, you know, which is

506
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 1: just crushing to the pride. But she folded and she said, okay.

507
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 1: So then that then what happened is Dad, they moved.

508
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:41,080
Speaker 1: They ended up getting this place and moving and Dad died.

509
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 1: I mean, it's crazy. Dad died, and I mean talking

510
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:56,880
Speaker 1: about throw a wrench in some plans. Mom goes forward

511
00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 1: with buying the cattle and starts starts the cattle business

512
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:08,280
Speaker 1: of all things, stays there and to this day she

513
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 1: still lives there. After ten years since Dad's been gone,

514
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 1: so they've had the place since the late nineties. But

515
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 1: that's been gone ten years and she's still there and

516
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 1: still has cattle. So Emily, sometimes the Lord doesn't have

517
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 1: to speak to you specifically about a situation. He could

518
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 1: be using your husband. So I think I've given you

519
00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 1: a pretty broad scenario of how it could go a

520
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 1: lot of different directions. But there's something to think through

521
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 1: for all of this. Oh sorry, everybody. That's a little

522
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 1: bit of a long answer, but I think it's a

523
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 1: good topic. Next question comes from anonymous granger. First off,

524
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 1: I want to thank you and Amber for everything that

525
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 1: you have done and helped me grow closer to the Lord.

526
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 1: I appreciate the encouragement that you both give. I'm a

527
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 1: teacher in my eighth year. This year has been the

528
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 1: worst of all and I'm trying to deal with a

529
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:14,880
Speaker 1: difficult coworker. I get put down, gossiped about, and I

530
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:19,400
Speaker 1: am never right. Do I just ignore her stand up

531
00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:22,680
Speaker 1: for myself. It is really hard for me just to

532
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:25,240
Speaker 1: trust in God. Right now. I am thinking and praying

533
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 1: about switching jobs. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks so much, Anonymous.

534
00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,839
Speaker 1: Thanks for the email. It's difficult. This is a hard

535
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 1: question without me knowing very many details about it. So

536
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 1: I always I think of these questions. As you know,

537
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:42,279
Speaker 1: you and I are riding in a cab of a

538
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:46,000
Speaker 1: truck and are sitting around a campfire, and you say,

539
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:49,200
Speaker 1: can I run something by you? And if I hear

540
00:34:49,239 --> 00:34:56,839
Speaker 1: this immediately asking more information? First, have you not talked

541
00:34:56,880 --> 00:35:00,600
Speaker 1: to the boss because the principle in this case, I'm

542
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:02,799
Speaker 1: assuming there's a principle because you're a teacher, and I'm

543
00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:09,319
Speaker 1: assuming it's a school. And I would wonder your coworkers,

544
00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 1: your other colleagues, do they know about this? Does the

545
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:18,279
Speaker 1: principle know about this? And maybe most importantly and not

546
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:22,799
Speaker 1: that obvious, does the difficult coworker know this? Does the

547
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:27,279
Speaker 1: difficult coworker know you feel this way? Communication is key,

548
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 1: information is key, and this has to be something. I mean,

549
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,400
Speaker 1: you are saying, it's really hard for me to trust

550
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,440
Speaker 1: God right now, I'm thinking and praying about switching jobs.

551
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 1: I can't go there yet, you're not trusting God in this.

552
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:44,880
Speaker 1: I can't go there unless I know more information. So

553
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 1: we'll put that away for a second, and we'll just say,

554
00:35:51,480 --> 00:36:05,280
Speaker 1: without without gossiping, without slandering, while being gentle and humble

555
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 1: and respectful and yet truthful and bold if you can

556
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:18,239
Speaker 1: combine those different attributes self control, all the fruits of

557
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:26,360
Speaker 1: the spirit. If you can use those attributes and approach

558
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:33,360
Speaker 1: this coworker, then I will start there. In fact, the

559
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:41,480
Speaker 1: Bible would encourage to start there. Hey, could I got

560
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 1: to take you to coffee on Wednesday? Are you free

561
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,480
Speaker 1: after work? I'd love to just get away from here,

562
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:54,680
Speaker 1: away from the distractions, and I would love to just

563
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 1: have a cup of coffee with you. Is that is that? Okay? Okay?

564
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:02,320
Speaker 1: You go to coffee, You offer to buy the coffee.

565
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:11,960
Speaker 1: Always courteous, always generous, always respectful, not reactive, You're quick

566
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:16,640
Speaker 1: to listen, slow to anger, right, and you just say

567
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:21,040
Speaker 1: I have struggled. I want to be totally honest with you.

568
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,600
Speaker 1: I've done this for eight years, and I've struggled a

569
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:29,759
Speaker 1: bit this year. And I think you probably could see it.

570
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:34,680
Speaker 1: I think you probably have noticed that you and I

571
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 1: don't always see eye to eye on things, and I

572
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 1: just I wanted to take you to coffee to say,

573
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,719
Speaker 1: how could I be better for you? How could I

574
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 1: be a better co worker so that for the children,

575
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:51,200
Speaker 1: and for your sake and for my sake, we reduce

576
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:53,640
Speaker 1: this friction, because it just feels like you and I

577
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:58,359
Speaker 1: just kind of rub and I think you're an amazing person,

578
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:00,080
Speaker 1: and so I just want to know how could I

579
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 1: I be better? How can I serve you better? How

580
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 1: could I be a better friend, a better coworker? Because

581
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 1: I love my job and obviously you're really good at

582
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,200
Speaker 1: your job and you love your job, So how could

583
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:21,279
Speaker 1: I How can I get in better standings with you?

584
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:25,359
Speaker 1: You start there. I don't think you start anywhere else

585
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:31,560
Speaker 1: but there, And you pray before you do it. You

586
00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 1: pray on the way to the coffee, and you literally pray.

587
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:37,239
Speaker 1: Some of y'all listening know exactly what I'm talking about.

588
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:41,160
Speaker 1: You literally pray while you're talking. So in between breaths,

589
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 1: your Lord, give me the words, Lord, give me self control, Lord,

590
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:50,839
Speaker 1: keep me humble, let me be loving to her right

591
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 1: so that you're praying, literally praying why you're talking. You

592
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 1: say that, you get your piece out, and then you

593
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,600
Speaker 1: It depends on the reaction, depends on how she reacts

594
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 1: to you. It depends on what she says right there

595
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 1: at coffee, and then how the next few weeks ago,

596
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 1: if things are still really bad, you feel like it

597
00:39:10,800 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 1: didn't matter. You're being gossiped about slandered. Then you go

598
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:23,960
Speaker 1: to a coworker and you say, I wonder if you

599
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,239
Speaker 1: could come with me, if you're agree, and we could

600
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 1: talk to this person together. Is that something we could do,

601
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 1: because I would say, most likely other people see it

602
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,719
Speaker 1: and agree with you if they don't, if you're the

603
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 1: only one in the whole school that sees it and

604
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:45,640
Speaker 1: no one else sees it, everyone else loves this coworker.

605
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:52,719
Speaker 1: The problem is you all. It's all you. You see

606
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 1: you can't everyone's not deceived, and you're the only one.

607
00:39:57,120 --> 00:40:02,440
Speaker 1: Right that's impossible. So if this person really is a problem,

608
00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:07,440
Speaker 1: then other people see it too. And you do another

609
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 1: coffee with a second person and you say, dear co worker,

610
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:17,760
Speaker 1: we met five weeks ago, we talked about this, and

611
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:22,359
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm still not getting it. I feel

612
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 1: like you and I still have some friction, and I

613
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 1: still want to know how I could be better. I've

614
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 1: done this and this and this, like you said, and

615
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 1: I still feel like there's a problem, so much so

616
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 1: that I brought I brought co worker BE here, and

617
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:41,440
Speaker 1: then co worker B says, yeah, you know, coworker A.

618
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 1: I hate to say, but I kind of I agree

619
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:48,080
Speaker 1: with her. I see the same thing, and you and

620
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 1: I have had the same thing. Okay, that's step two.

621
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 1: If she still says, you know, pacifies the situation, it's

622
00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:01,920
Speaker 1: still bad. Some more time goes by. Then now it's

623
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:04,400
Speaker 1: time to have a meeting with the principal, the boss.

624
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,279
Speaker 1: Bring the boss in, and you say, I got coworker B,

625
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:13,560
Speaker 1: I got coworker A, and we're having a problem. I

626
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:16,920
Speaker 1: don't think it's the best thing for the children, for

627
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:20,480
Speaker 1: us to have this kind of friction. The principle at

628
00:41:20,480 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 1: that point says work it out, or someone's gonna leave,

629
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 1: or you're fired, or whatever happens. But resolution takes another

630
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:32,279
Speaker 1: step forward at that point. Right. So these are just

631
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:37,960
Speaker 1: practical steps, and all of them involve conversation, being upfront,

632
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 1: being humble, and loving. And if all of that fails,

633
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:50,880
Speaker 1: all of it, then you could think about switching jobs.

634
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:54,320
Speaker 1: But I don't think in your eighth year you switch

635
00:41:54,400 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 1: jobs until you've gone through those three steps. Okay, my

636
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:04,880
Speaker 1: time is getting late, so I'm gonna end here and

637
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:08,480
Speaker 1: say I love you guys, and we'll see you next Monday.

638
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Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate

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Speaker 1: all of you guys, you could help me out by

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00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 1: rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe

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00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 1: to this channel, hit that little like button and notification

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00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 1: spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.

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Speaker 1: YI