WEBVTT - Struggling with depression 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:04.720 Says, Hey, Granger, this is Jesse from Azel, Texas. I 0:00:04.760 --> 0:00:07.040 just wanted to ask you if you ever struggle with 0:00:07.080 --> 0:00:10.119 depression and anxiety from time to time, and if you do, 0:00:10.320 --> 0:00:12.640 how do you deal with it. I'm in a really 0:00:12.720 --> 0:00:15.040 dark place in my life right now. My dad and 0:00:15.040 --> 0:00:17.520 grandpa were both killed in a car accident three months 0:00:17.560 --> 0:00:21.279 ago in Dallas. Other than my wife and kids, those 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:24.040 were the two most important people in my life and 0:00:24.079 --> 0:00:27.840 now they're both gone at the same time. Why for what? 0:00:39.800 --> 0:00:43.760 So many good things to talk about today and one 0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:46.920 of my favorite people to talk about it with, Bernie Calcote. 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:50.360 I'm back on the podcast. You keep asking me, I'm 0:00:50.360 --> 0:00:52.680 gonna keep coming. I'm not asking you. In fact, I'm 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:57.840 like you again. But people keep people keep emailing. I 0:00:57.880 --> 0:01:01.320 want more Bernie. People comment and say, bring Bernie back, 0:01:01.840 --> 0:01:04.720 and so that's what I'm doing. You could email me 0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:10.319 anything you want Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. If 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:14.240 you have a question, I will answer it, and Bernie 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:17.480 is one of the best people to talk about your 0:01:17.600 --> 0:01:21.959 questions with. We go back twenty plus years a friendship 0:01:22.200 --> 0:01:27.479 of dissecting life's problems of our own together. We've had 0:01:27.600 --> 0:01:30.800 We've sat around many times and had a beer or 0:01:30.800 --> 0:01:34.559 two and discussed something deep in our lives, or many 0:01:34.600 --> 0:01:36.440 phone calls. I've called you and said, Bernie, I got 0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:38.480 talked to you about something, man, something going on in 0:01:38.520 --> 0:01:40.399 my life. Can you help me? And you've done the 0:01:40.400 --> 0:01:43.600 same back to me. And I love your advice. And 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:49.120 what's odd about Granger and I is that although our 0:01:49.160 --> 0:01:54.760 lives look very different, I feel like we have experienced 0:01:54.880 --> 0:01:59.080 some things just across the board that are very similar 0:01:59.360 --> 0:02:03.240 in life. And so that's that's very much helped us. 0:02:03.640 --> 0:02:05.920 It's like, oh, you're going through that, man, I'm going 0:02:05.960 --> 0:02:09.160 through that. Oh you dude, you turned me onto this 0:02:09.200 --> 0:02:12.720 and this, you know, So yeah, we have I think 0:02:12.720 --> 0:02:15.000 that's a good way to put it, because guys, we 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:19.760 don't have answers for you. We can dissect your questions 0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:23.960 and bring our experience and discuss them. That's that's what 0:02:23.960 --> 0:02:26.200 we can do. And we hope that you take, you know, 0:02:26.280 --> 0:02:30.320 some encouragement and some inspiration from it to dig into 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:34.519 God's word, dig into community, find some stillness, and that's 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:36.440 where you're gonna find your answers, find your way out 0:02:36.440 --> 0:02:39.399 of being stuck or trying to make a hard decision 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:41.800 or trying to get it started. How do we start 0:02:41.880 --> 0:02:44.760 something that we've been wanted to do? And like you 0:02:44.760 --> 0:02:47.519 said last week, what this would be really cool is 0:02:47.560 --> 0:02:50.600 if we one day we hosted a live podcast me 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:53.239 and you and answered people's questions live, had a live 0:02:53.280 --> 0:02:56.520 studio audience and people could stand up on a microphone 0:02:56.520 --> 0:02:59.120 and just and then you could ask your question, and 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:01.360 then we could ask a couple back to get the 0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:04.440 full story. But what I want this podcast to be 0:03:04.480 --> 0:03:07.079 wherever you're listening, thank you for thank you for tuning in. 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:10.640 I want this to feel like we're sitting around a 0:03:10.639 --> 0:03:14.200 campfire and we've cracked a few beers and you say, 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:17.200 can I ask you guys something something I've been dealing with, 0:03:17.320 --> 0:03:20.720 or something I've been wondering, or something I've been worried about, 0:03:21.720 --> 0:03:26.000 And we could go, huh, let's let's dissect this and 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:29.280 take a long time to answer it. And so some 0:03:29.360 --> 0:03:32.600 great questions lines up lined up today. Can I do 0:03:32.639 --> 0:03:35.520 a quick shout out Josh Thacker, my brother in law, 0:03:35.800 --> 0:03:40.920 faithful listener, nice ye guy, loves you, loves everything you do, 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:43.280 and was thrilled as much as me when you asked 0:03:43.320 --> 0:03:46.480 me to come on. But I saw him just the 0:03:46.520 --> 0:03:51.320 other day and he's just so encouraging and it encouraged 0:03:51.360 --> 0:03:53.360 me just the way that he talked about this podcast 0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:55.800 and what we get to do, and so just love 0:03:55.800 --> 0:03:58.839 you man. Tune up. That's awesome. If if you if 0:03:58.840 --> 0:04:01.400 this podcast means anything to you, if you've listened before 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:05.160 and you hear a question that maybe you're going through, 0:04:05.960 --> 0:04:09.000 if someone else is going through something similar, the best 0:04:09.000 --> 0:04:11.040 thing you could do for Bernie and I is share 0:04:11.080 --> 0:04:14.400 it with that person. Just say hey, dude, because this 0:04:14.440 --> 0:04:16.640 is what I do with other with other things YouTube 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:19.480 videos or podcasts. Send it to your buddy and say hey, 0:04:19.960 --> 0:04:24.320 start at minute eighteen thirty and do that's your life 0:04:24.400 --> 0:04:27.880 right now, brilliant. So we would love nothing more than 0:04:27.920 --> 0:04:31.560 to grow this audience on here for that reason. It's 0:04:32.360 --> 0:04:35.599 so fulfilling for us. By the ways. One time someone 0:04:35.680 --> 0:04:40.040 said on a comment and they said, Granger, be careful 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:44.039 dealing with these people and their questions, because you don't 0:04:44.040 --> 0:04:47.400 want to get pulled down into this dark world of 0:04:47.760 --> 0:04:52.320 dealing with their anxiety. And I just I just thought, man, 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:56.080 that's my calling to some level, like bring it on. 0:04:56.760 --> 0:04:58.800 I want to get down in the dirt with some 0:04:58.880 --> 0:05:03.080 of these questions and into it, because that's that's a 0:05:03.200 --> 0:05:05.359 fulfillment of some sort to me, to be able to 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:08.680 dig in. I'm not worried about me losing my sense 0:05:08.720 --> 0:05:12.080 of reality by dealing with all these other questions. I'm 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:14.400 not worried about it. I know you're not. Yep. So 0:05:15.800 --> 0:05:18.240 I'm gonna start with at least one or two light 0:05:18.440 --> 0:05:22.760 questions starting with this one once again. The email is 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:25.440 Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. The first question comes 0:05:25.480 --> 0:05:28.360 from Jacob that says, Hey, Granger my name is Jake. 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:31.600 I'm from Grand Island, Nebraska. I'm twenty nine years old. 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:34.680 My question is have you ever done any fishing in Nebraska? 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:37.599 If so, where? If not, you should check out some 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:40.320 of the canals here. If you're into catfish, what are 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:42.520 your favorite things to fish for and what type of 0:05:42.520 --> 0:05:45.960 big fish are there in Texas. Thanks for your podcast. 0:05:45.960 --> 0:05:50.960 I enjoy watching. Thank you, Jake. I have not. I've 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:53.400 been to Nebraska many many times to tour, but I've 0:05:53.440 --> 0:05:57.119 never fished there and I didn't even really know about 0:05:57.120 --> 0:06:00.560 these canals he's speaking of sounds cool. I've never even 0:06:00.600 --> 0:06:04.360 been to Nebraska, So, dude, Nebraska is I'm going to 0:06:04.400 --> 0:06:07.520 tag along next time Granger goes that you should, actually, 0:06:07.640 --> 0:06:11.560 because if it wasn't for touring, I could say that 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:13.440 I could start a lot of things with that sentence 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:16.279 if it wasn't for touring. But I've gotten to see 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:20.839 the flyover states that as a Texas boy, I typically 0:06:20.839 --> 0:06:28.320 wouldn't see, like Iowa, Nebraska, Illinois, Wyoming, Ohio, South Dakota, 0:06:28.400 --> 0:06:31.840 North Dakota, Kansas. There's a lot of these places that 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:37.560 just the bread basket of America, just good people and beautiful, 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:41.760 beautiful places. And you go to in the summertime when 0:06:41.800 --> 0:06:44.680 it's everything is starting to turn brown in Texas and 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:49.360 you go to Iowa, Nebraska, and it's just rolling, beautiful 0:06:49.440 --> 0:06:52.400 green cornfields and a red barn on a hill with 0:06:52.440 --> 0:06:55.880 a white farmhouse and a windmill, and you're just like, 0:06:56.360 --> 0:06:59.159 that's America right there. Yeah, that is America right there. 0:07:00.240 --> 0:07:03.039 It I've never fished in Nebraska. To answer question Jake, 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:07.440 I probably should. In Texas, we have a lot of 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:10.080 largemouth bass. Of course, we have a lot of catfish. 0:07:10.760 --> 0:07:13.200 What we have interesting in Texas that's a little bit 0:07:13.200 --> 0:07:16.240 different than Nebraska is we have a coast, and so 0:07:16.360 --> 0:07:20.520 we also have I'm not into deep sea fishing, my 0:07:20.520 --> 0:07:23.360 stomach can't handle it. But you're kind of from the 0:07:23.360 --> 0:07:27.560 coast a little bit. You're from Yeah, but I was just, 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:30.240 you know, a poor boy going to the levee catching 0:07:30.280 --> 0:07:33.680 Flounder's well, it's about what we could do. So that's 0:07:33.680 --> 0:07:35.280 where I read it. Go That's where I was going 0:07:35.360 --> 0:07:38.480 to go. Though it's because regardless of who you are, 0:07:38.680 --> 0:07:41.680 it takes some money to go out deep sea. I 0:07:41.720 --> 0:07:45.280 can't do that. But going to what we call the 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:48.600 Laguna Madre, which is there's a bay that goes from 0:07:48.680 --> 0:07:53.720 South Texas, Mexico, all the way up through Galveston, and 0:07:53.760 --> 0:07:57.440 there's this space in between. There's usually a long island 0:07:57.840 --> 0:07:59.560 and then there's a space between the island and the 0:07:59.560 --> 0:08:03.000 shore that it's the bay, and it's in many spots 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:06.200 it's like two to four feet deep the whole way through, 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:12.160 and there's flounder and redfish and trout and sting ray 0:08:13.040 --> 0:08:17.000 and you could literally walk through it because it's so 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:21.200 shallow and that Some of the most fun fishing I've 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:23.880 ever been in my life is take especially if you 0:08:23.880 --> 0:08:25.880 can get on a little flat bottom boat and just 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:29.000 go out a little bit and you can get into 0:08:29.040 --> 0:08:32.320 some red fish, when they're spawning. Yeah, those are fighting 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:35.880 fish man. So here. So let me just say here 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:40.120 is the secret that I never revealed to you guys. Okay, 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:46.200 all right, Burn is a city boy. Okay, Nation, I'm sorry, 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:51.760 don't just like off the podcast. Okay, but here's the thing. 0:08:51.800 --> 0:08:53.959 I'm a city boy from a small town, from a 0:08:54.000 --> 0:08:58.320 small town. But that doesn't make doesn't make any how 0:08:58.360 --> 0:09:00.280 are you a city boy from a small town? What 0:09:00.320 --> 0:09:04.280 does that even mean? Because like I lived, I live 0:09:04.320 --> 0:09:08.240 in the city. I've lived in cities. I like the cities. 0:09:08.720 --> 0:09:12.480 I love the city life. I do love. There's there's 0:09:12.520 --> 0:09:17.400 things about like country life, you know, outdoors ee everything 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:20.920 that I love. But I wasn't raised with my dad 0:09:20.920 --> 0:09:26.720 taking me hunting and fishing. And but I need your help. 0:09:26.760 --> 0:09:30.720 I need your guidance, the king of Yee Nation. I 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:33.800 need your help to I have a compound bow that 0:09:33.840 --> 0:09:35.560 my wife tells me how to sell because I don't 0:09:35.600 --> 0:09:38.439 know how to shoot it. Can you help me with that? Well? Yeah, 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:40.760 you've been the ye farm we have where you have 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:43.960 targets right out here for that just we actually have 0:09:44.000 --> 0:09:46.680 a rack two doors over where we're sitting. That's a 0:09:46.800 --> 0:09:49.520 rack that holds compound boats. Okay, you guys are gonna 0:09:49.520 --> 0:09:54.960 witness this. There's gonna be the slow conversion to I 0:09:55.000 --> 0:09:58.200 know how to do outdoor stuff better than I do now. 0:09:58.720 --> 0:10:01.680 I used I used to fish more than I do. 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:06.719 But easy, easy, easy, I'm bringing the bow. Next time 0:10:06.720 --> 0:10:09.079 you do the podcast, bring your bow. We'll make sure 0:10:09.080 --> 0:10:12.720 it's set up right. And then we have targets. Right 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:14.920 out here, Parker goes out for as a stress relief 0:10:14.960 --> 0:10:18.480 and yeah, shoots his compound bow. And that's the That's 0:10:18.520 --> 0:10:20.200 the easiest thing you could have said to me if 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:23.040 you said I have a fly rod or I have 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:25.680 a new deer rifle that takes a lot more effort 0:10:25.800 --> 0:10:27.640 to do those things. Well, I want to know how 0:10:27.679 --> 0:10:29.760 to do those things too. I did go fly fishing 0:10:30.600 --> 0:10:36.040 in Park City on the Provo River last September, and 0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:39.480 I caught like five trout. It was it was like 0:10:39.559 --> 0:10:41.840 one of the best experiences ever. I did have a guide, 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:45.920 but you know, all right, we all got guides in life, right, Yeah, 0:10:46.360 --> 0:10:50.360 and it was really awesome. So I I am from 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:54.880 the city, I confess, but I'm here to learn more 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:58.320 about the country boy life. Let's go teach me your 0:10:58.320 --> 0:11:02.920 ways country country life is in your heart, not in 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:04.760 your closet. We like to say that a lot here. 0:11:05.720 --> 0:11:11.440 It's it's not about there's plenty of country dudes that 0:11:11.440 --> 0:11:14.440 that are trapped because of work and family. Usually they're 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:18.480 trapped in a concrete jungle. And then there's plenty of 0:11:18.520 --> 0:11:22.280 people that live on farms and ranches that are don't 0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:25.199 know anything about it. Yeah, so there it goes both ways. 0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:27.559 You're right, I know you you're from a small town. 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:29.880 You just because your dad didn't take you hunting and 0:11:29.880 --> 0:11:34.280 fishing does not change anything about what's in your heart. Right, 0:11:34.559 --> 0:11:36.760 that might have been the best piece of this whole question, 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:41.679 that what you brought up. Thank you, Jake so Burne. 0:11:41.679 --> 0:11:44.000 Do you want to take the reins here on some 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:48.560 of these subjects, on these emails that I have? Uh? Yeah, sure. Wow, 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:53.120 we have pulled in too many directions. Oh, we have 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:57.520 history question, we have granger I need some advice. We 0:11:57.559 --> 0:12:01.840 have promotion, we have alcoholic veteran needs help. We have 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:03.920 a please read in all caps, and we have faith 0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:07.200 in friends, fan reactions, we have playing overseas. Some of 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:10.000 these are ones we didn't answer from last week's podcast. 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:12.520 When you're here, anything stick out I want to go 0:12:12.600 --> 0:12:14.520 to the first one, but before we do that, I 0:12:14.559 --> 0:12:17.400 want to go to the please read, because I don't 0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:20.280 want people thinking that if they're more creative with their 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:22.160 subject line, we're going to pick it, We're going to 0:12:22.720 --> 0:12:25.160 It's just, Hey, what do we like that? What are 0:12:25.160 --> 0:12:27.520 we feeling here? Let's go with it, says Hey Grangeer. 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:31.520 This is Jesse from Azel, Texas. I just wanted to 0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:34.720 ask you if you ever struggle with depression and anxiety 0:12:34.920 --> 0:12:36.720 from time to time, and if you do, how do 0:12:36.760 --> 0:12:39.320 you deal with it. I'm in a really dark place 0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:41.960 in my life right now. My dad and grandpa were 0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:44.480 both killed in a car accident three months ago in Dallas. 0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:47.920 Other than my wife and kids, those were the two 0:12:48.040 --> 0:12:50.800 most important people in my life, and now they're both 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:56.800 gone at the same time. Why for what? Why couldn't 0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:59.319 they stay here to get to know their grandchildren better. 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:02.000 It's all part of God's plan, But I still struggle 0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:05.000 with it every day and sometimes it makes life really difficult. 0:13:05.280 --> 0:13:08.000 One thing that does help me is when I'm down. 0:13:09.240 --> 0:13:11.640 When I'm down, it's cranking up dirt road driveway or 0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:14.720 Remington while I'm cruising some back roads in the small towns. 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:17.640 I know both most of those both of those albums 0:13:17.640 --> 0:13:23.080 better than any of than my own two hands, it says. Anyways, 0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:25.160 thanks for all you do and continue to do. I 0:13:25.200 --> 0:13:29.000 love country things. Keep up the great work, Jesse. Thank you, 0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:31.079 Jesse for your kind words. You didn't have to put 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:32.800 those in there into this email, but thank you for 0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:43.120 that excellent question, so relevant to human beings, so natural 0:13:43.200 --> 0:13:44.960 for you to feel that way. I'm gonna first of all, 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:50.000 validate your feelings here and just say it's natural for 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:53.320 you to lose your dad and your grandpa in a 0:13:53.360 --> 0:13:57.440 car accident three months ago, and it's natural for you 0:13:57.520 --> 0:14:01.559 to say why, for what, Why couldn't they be here 0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:04.839 to get to know their grandchildren. So you are justified 0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:08.160 in thinking that. Now me and Bernie are going to 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:12.000 take in a new direction. But I first wanted to 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:15.800 validate this, and I also want to say I'm so 0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:21.560 sorry for your loss. We struggle as humans. We will 0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:25.040 have struggle, we will have suffering, we will have pain. 0:14:25.360 --> 0:14:28.360 If we haven't already or if we're not currently going 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:30.920 through it, then we will. Why because we're humans and 0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:34.920 that's what's promised in a fallen world. But there's a 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:39.080 big butt here. We each have our own struggles and 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:43.560 our own story in our own way. Meaning whatever I've 0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:46.760 gone through and whatever Bernie's gone through, we cannot directly 0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:48.920 relate to losing a dad and a granddad in a 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:53.520 car accident at the same time, because that is your 0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:57.000 story and that is your pain and your loss. And 0:14:57.080 --> 0:15:00.600 so I'm so sorry that you you had to go 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:03.400 through that. Do you know where you want to start 0:15:03.400 --> 0:15:10.000 with this guy? Yeah, So I would say a similar sentiment, 0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:13.360 It's just terrible. You're you're still very much in the 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:18.960 throes of grief, Yeah, which is natural. You you have 0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:25.360 to work through those. I hope that you have God's 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:30.880 were near to you as hope, as a foundation, as 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:35.480 a reference, a point of reference to help not answer, 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:39.200 but to help navigate through that question of why and 0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:41.400 why now and all that. I hope that you have 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:47.600 community around you. And also, you know, I know that 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:54.200 when we've lost people that counseling is very helpful to 0:15:54.440 --> 0:16:03.120 help process the feeling of grief and of you know, 0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:08.040 trauma and whatever it is that you're experiencing. So I'll 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:12.240 first say that, and Grain, I'm not sure which direction 0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:15.080 you want to go, but let me just draw from 0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:19.600 my own experience. There was a time that I had 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:24.160 to process what I was feeling and what I had experienced. 0:16:25.400 --> 0:16:27.640 And I think I've mentioned this on the podcast before. 0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:31.440 There was a time where I had to let my 0:16:31.560 --> 0:16:36.280 feelings go and I had to remember the standards that 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:40.520 I had for my life, and that my standards were 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:47.160 going to dictate my life, mind, body, and spirit. My 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:49.520 standards were going to dictate how I live those out 0:16:49.800 --> 0:16:54.280 versus letting my feelings continue to be the thing that 0:16:54.440 --> 0:17:00.920 talked to me. You know, that directed my actions. And 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:04.359 I know that everybody has the timing of that is 0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:07.800 going to be very different for each of us. For me, 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:11.720 there was, you know, recently, there was a very clear moment, 0:17:11.920 --> 0:17:14.199 and I remember journaling about all of this, and I 0:17:14.240 --> 0:17:19.679 remember waking up one day and making the choice today, 0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:23.240 I'm choosing my standards like this, you know, from my 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:27.520 form my mind and protecting my mind and building a 0:17:27.640 --> 0:17:31.359 strong mind. Here is my standard. My spirit, the word 0:17:31.359 --> 0:17:34.040 of God is my standard. My my body, my exercise 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:35.960 is my standard. So I'm not just gonna hit snooze 0:17:35.960 --> 0:17:38.159 and stay in bed anymore. No, I'm gonna get up. 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:40.879 I'm gonna I'm gonna read God's word. I'm gonna meditate, 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:42.879 I'm gonna work out, I'm going to like continue to 0:17:42.920 --> 0:17:48.240 do these things. And through that and the relationships around me, 0:17:48.600 --> 0:17:51.360 I help. It helped me to find some healing. Absolutely. 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:55.359 So do you have any grandparents left or grandpaus? I 0:17:55.400 --> 0:17:59.600 have one grandmother, yeah, yes, so when grandmother left, yeah, 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:04.080 I do not have I do not have my grandfather's left, 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:07.000 and I do not have my dad left. So one 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:09.679 thing I could, Jesse, I could relate to you in 0:18:09.720 --> 0:18:11.360 fact that I don't have a dad or a granddad, 0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:17.560 And it does affect me when I think about this 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:22.240 fairy tale world of the grandpa's. We always think of 0:18:22.280 --> 0:18:25.359 this image of speaking of fishing. We think of grandpa 0:18:25.560 --> 0:18:29.480 fishing with the grandson and they're fishing for catfish on 0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:34.520 the shore and the kid says, Grandpa, tell me about 0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:37.080 the good old days, you know, like it's a Judd's 0:18:37.600 --> 0:18:42.240 country music song. And we think of this just beautiful picture, 0:18:42.880 --> 0:18:44.840 and then we go to our lives and go, well, 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:47.520 my kids, my kids don't have a grandpa. And then 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:50.520 even worse than that, I think, man, my dad, my 0:18:50.640 --> 0:18:53.159 dad would have been that guy. He would have been 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:56.000 the guy to take on fishing and to stand on 0:18:56.040 --> 0:18:58.200 the shore and talk about life. He would have been 0:18:58.320 --> 0:19:01.760 such a great grandpa in that way. And he died, 0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:05.320 and I'm sure that those kind of thoughts are go 0:19:05.359 --> 0:19:08.720 through your mind. Jesse. The best part of your email 0:19:09.520 --> 0:19:11.399 is that you said, I know it's all part of 0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:14.960 God's plan. Unfortunately you added a butt right after that. 0:19:16.640 --> 0:19:19.080 You don't have to add that butt. I understand that 0:19:19.119 --> 0:19:21.480 you struggle. What I want to do for you right now, Jesse, 0:19:21.600 --> 0:19:26.399 is I want to change the why. You said why why, 0:19:26.800 --> 0:19:28.320 and you could put a God at the end of 0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:31.240 the day, why God, why would you do this? This 0:19:31.400 --> 0:19:34.719 was a great little plan we had and you know what, 0:19:34.720 --> 0:19:38.080 this is a great setup and now it's gone. I 0:19:38.119 --> 0:19:41.560 just I want to change the why into a instead 0:19:41.560 --> 0:19:45.080 of why God, change it to what do you need 0:19:45.119 --> 0:19:48.919 from me? Now? God? What do you want from me 0:19:49.200 --> 0:19:53.399 through this? And if you start focusing on that, it 0:19:53.400 --> 0:19:56.040 flips the whole script. Instead of acting like it's his 0:19:56.119 --> 0:19:59.159 fault and he made a bad decision, like did you 0:19:59.240 --> 0:20:02.520 mess up? Well, God doesn't mess up. He doesn't. He 0:20:02.600 --> 0:20:05.640 does not mess up, So you can't think, oh, God, 0:20:05.680 --> 0:20:07.719 you took the wrong one. You took the wrong Grandpa. 0:20:07.840 --> 0:20:10.480 This was perfect, you took my dad, this was a 0:20:10.480 --> 0:20:13.359 good plan. You messed up. Instead, flip the script and go, 0:20:14.000 --> 0:20:19.320 You're always right. So what do I need to do 0:20:19.480 --> 0:20:24.320 with this, this plan, this purpose, this life that you 0:20:24.359 --> 0:20:26.000 have now rolled out for me? That's a little bit 0:20:26.000 --> 0:20:27.760 different than I thought it was going to be? What 0:20:27.880 --> 0:20:31.040 do I do with this now? And it flips the 0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:34.360 script and puts it back on you to start listening 0:20:34.400 --> 0:20:38.000 to more and following more of that purpose and that plan. 0:20:38.680 --> 0:20:41.680 And there's a million directions you can go. But when 0:20:41.680 --> 0:20:44.240 you flip it from you messed up? God, why'd you 0:20:44.280 --> 0:20:47.159 do this? Which is a sentiment that everyone could relate to, 0:20:47.520 --> 0:20:50.520 you flip it to Okay, this is the hand I 0:20:50.600 --> 0:20:53.200 was dealt. Now what am I going to do with this? 0:20:54.320 --> 0:20:57.000 How am I going to carry on Dad and Grandpa's 0:20:57.080 --> 0:21:01.160 legacy and teach my kids? Where do I go from here? 0:21:01.200 --> 0:21:04.760 And your whole world opens up at that point when 0:21:04.800 --> 0:21:09.080 you realize that it wasn't an accident that your grandpa 0:21:09.160 --> 0:21:10.480 and dad died. Now, a lot of people are going 0:21:10.520 --> 0:21:13.560 to disagree when they hear that, But I believe that 0:21:13.680 --> 0:21:16.600 God is sovereign, He's controlled, He controls everything. He has 0:21:16.640 --> 0:21:21.320 everything for a plan. He's God the Living because to God, 0:21:21.680 --> 0:21:25.000 all people are alive all the time. There is no death. 0:21:25.680 --> 0:21:27.639 I look at it like this. Have I told you 0:21:27.640 --> 0:21:30.080 the fish, the fish and they We've talked a lot 0:21:30.119 --> 0:21:33.399 about fish, the fish, and the mud puddle. So it's like, 0:21:34.000 --> 0:21:35.920 look at it this way. This is how God sees it. 0:21:35.920 --> 0:21:39.000 Because God doesn't see death. He sees it us as 0:21:39.040 --> 0:21:42.520 eternal beings. So right now we're all in this muddy puddle. 0:21:42.720 --> 0:21:44.720 And I noticed this last summer when I was driving 0:21:44.720 --> 0:21:46.840 down this country road to get to the farm. There's 0:21:46.880 --> 0:21:49.840 this muddy puddle in the middle of a creek that's 0:21:49.840 --> 0:21:52.440 starting to go dry. And in Texas, this creek will 0:21:52.480 --> 0:21:55.000 go all the way dry and eventually it'll be completely 0:21:55.760 --> 0:21:58.280 gone and dried up, will be nothing left. So I 0:21:58.320 --> 0:22:00.719 saw this puddle and I saw fish in the puddle, 0:22:01.720 --> 0:22:04.360 and I was thinking, those fish don't know that they're 0:22:04.400 --> 0:22:07.280 all going to die in that puddle. And it's like 0:22:08.480 --> 0:22:10.400 if I was going to play God in that situation, 0:22:11.000 --> 0:22:12.919 and I go and get one fish out a time, 0:22:13.160 --> 0:22:15.399 and I take the fish and I put it in 0:22:15.440 --> 0:22:17.480 a bucket and I take it to a beautiful, big 0:22:17.600 --> 0:22:22.040 lake that never goes dry, that has abundant food, abundant 0:22:22.119 --> 0:22:25.800 every resources. It's perfect. And I take What would the 0:22:25.840 --> 0:22:27.800 other fish say, is I pick up one and take 0:22:27.840 --> 0:22:30.600 it to the lake. They'd say, oh no, why you're God. 0:22:31.240 --> 0:22:34.959 He's gone, he's got forever. We're we're gonna miss him, 0:22:35.000 --> 0:22:38.560 We're never gonna see him again. And me at playing 0:22:38.600 --> 0:22:41.400 God in this situation, I'm like, would you just hush, 0:22:41.520 --> 0:22:43.480 I'm just taking you one at a time to the lake. 0:22:43.640 --> 0:22:47.000 The lake you'll see everybody again. It's abundant, it's beautiful. 0:22:47.440 --> 0:22:50.480 You're living in a mud puddle. You're living in a 0:22:50.600 --> 0:22:54.000 tragic mud puddle that is going dry, and I'm going 0:22:54.040 --> 0:22:58.000 to dry up. And I feel like, in a way, 0:22:58.080 --> 0:23:01.320 God is taking one at a time. He takes us, 0:23:01.359 --> 0:23:03.200 and he takes us out of this terrible mud hole 0:23:04.320 --> 0:23:06.920 and that we think is perfect because it's our world, 0:23:07.000 --> 0:23:08.600 it's only thing we know, and it puts us in 0:23:08.640 --> 0:23:11.560 the lake. And if you realize that your dad and 0:23:11.560 --> 0:23:16.119 your grandpa were never meant to do anything past this point. 0:23:16.760 --> 0:23:19.119 This was always their story. It was always written this way, 0:23:19.560 --> 0:23:22.520 that that car crash that happened with them was always 0:23:22.600 --> 0:23:24.919 supposed to happen that way, then you don't live in 0:23:24.960 --> 0:23:28.960 this weird alternate reality of Dad would have been. Dad 0:23:28.960 --> 0:23:31.240