1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:10,320 Speaker 1: Check check check check check one to one four casual? Hey, Chip, 2 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 1: what's going on? You know? Just update my calendar? What 3 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:18,079 Speaker 1: do you do? A second? We start recording Chips like, 4 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 1: what you on? How many emails? Can I check my 5 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:28,320 Speaker 1: drop how's that drop box looking? Um? Well, what's been 6 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,240 Speaker 1: going on this week? You actually you actually told me 7 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,839 Speaker 1: a really cool story yesterday, And I was like, you 8 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:34,879 Speaker 1: should tell it on at Casual because I think that's 9 00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 1: a really good update for chips life. Well yeah, so well, 10 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 1: first of all, the sun came out, so hallelujah. Well, also, 11 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:45,879 Speaker 1: it's like sixties sixties everyone ins were we're living. Did 12 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,599 Speaker 1: you see that meme yesterday? I forget what it's like 13 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,239 Speaker 1: one of the Nashville like blog memes. It's like what 14 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 1: it's like in Nashville right now. And it was a 15 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 1: guy laying by his like backyard privacy fan and um, 16 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 1: you know, the sun is at such an angle where 17 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,200 Speaker 1: it's like he's half in the shade where there's still 18 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:07,200 Speaker 1: some snow, and the other hat like from his waist 19 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,480 Speaker 1: down he's in the sun. So he's like wearing shorts 20 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 1: from the waist down but wearing a winter jacket on 21 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 1: the lake it's like the front party in the back, 22 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 1: but the sun and the snow. It literally was snow 23 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 1: a snowstorm last week. We're sweating every day, snow apocalypse. 24 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 1: Where I'm looking outside the window right now and short, 25 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 1: sure it's comfy, you know, it's getting gearing, but I 26 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,320 Speaker 1: mean this plays into the weather too. So I had 27 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 1: an experience this week that was really um sort of 28 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:40,120 Speaker 1: just eye opening and heartwarming at the same time. UM So, 29 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:44,040 Speaker 1: Lindsay l who I managed, was UM asked to UM 30 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: do a private performance on the rooftop of a hotel 31 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 1: and town called the Bobby Hotel. And of course I 32 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: was a little worried. I was like on the rooftop, 33 00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,840 Speaker 1: like but it ended up being like one of those 34 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: sixty five degree days and it stayed nice in the evening. 35 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:57,240 Speaker 1: I was, you know, a little bit of a bite. 36 00:01:57,280 --> 00:02:01,200 Speaker 1: But the people it was for Samford Medical and Sanford 37 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 1: Medical is like a chain of hospitals like in the 38 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:07,200 Speaker 1: Dakotas and Minnesota and sort of like the mid Northwest, 39 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 1: and um, they Minnesota and they surprised twenty of their 40 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: like frontline workers UM with a trip to Nashville, and 41 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:22,280 Speaker 1: it was like full of like they you know. They 42 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:25,800 Speaker 1: literally the week before they got called into their boss's 43 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,760 Speaker 1: office because all their bosses are who recommended them, and 44 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,960 Speaker 1: it was from across like all the hospitals. Um. They 45 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 1: were called into their boss's office and given a piece 46 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,680 Speaker 1: of luggage that um when they opened it, it said 47 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 1: like you've been given this trip. It didn't say where 48 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 1: it was, but it said you have twenty four hours 49 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: to accept it. And like they were given. It's so exciting, 50 00:02:45,919 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: especially during a pandemic. We probably have not especially not 51 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 1: a day off. They haven't had a day all right, 52 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:55,120 Speaker 1: it definitely haven't had a VA. So they had twenty 53 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 1: four hours except it. They were given the time off, 54 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,240 Speaker 1: so that wasn't an issue. It was like whether or 55 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 1: not you could find care for your kids or whatever 56 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:07,240 Speaker 1: or even want to travel. So um, everyone accepted it, um, 57 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 1: and they were. They were then flown to Nashville. Like 58 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,520 Speaker 1: they didn't know where they were going until they got 59 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:15,200 Speaker 1: to the airport. They did. And the cool thing is 60 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,640 Speaker 1: is like none of them knew each other before us, 61 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 1: you know, because they're all coming from different regions. So 62 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 1: they were flown to Nashville then and put up at 63 00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 1: a hotel and they were doing like whiskey tasting, and 64 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:27,119 Speaker 1: then the first night Lindsay did a surprise concert after 65 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:30,120 Speaker 1: their dinner on the rooftop. And then yesterday they went 66 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:31,920 Speaker 1: they did a bunch of stuff and then they got 67 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 1: a private tour of the opery and they got a 68 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:38,120 Speaker 1: private performance with Lady amabellument the Opery House, which is 69 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:43,640 Speaker 1: amazing and so anyway, excuse you, Yeah, sorry, I'm so used. 70 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: It's lady Um. And part like, when we were prepping 71 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,800 Speaker 1: for the show, they gave us like these sheets about 72 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 1: every person that was there so we could read their 73 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 1: history and what they do it for the hospital and um, 74 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: everyone sort of had like a mantra at the bottom 75 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 1: of their thing, and like there were people. There was 76 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 1: this one woman. She she's worked for Sanford for less 77 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,440 Speaker 1: than a year and um, one week she was hired 78 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 1: to do something like I can't remember specifically, but they 79 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 1: were like, hey, we need you to help like build 80 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:20,159 Speaker 1: the COVID center. She was second week of work, you know, 81 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 1: and she was awesome. And what was the quote from 82 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,680 Speaker 1: the guy that So there was this one guy. His 83 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:28,719 Speaker 1: name was Adrian, and his his mantra was and he 84 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 1: even he I'll preface it like the way he prefaced, 85 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:33,440 Speaker 1: he said, this might sound grim, but bear with me 86 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 1: for a second, though you're the worst day of your 87 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:41,040 Speaker 1: life will only be twenty four hours. And it just 88 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 1: sort of got punched all of us because it was 89 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:49,360 Speaker 1: so um inspiring really like because we are as human beings, 90 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 1: we are so resilient, but we're also so inclined to 91 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:56,080 Speaker 1: think that like we can't get through something and if 92 00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 1: you can just fight, like that worst day will be over, 93 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 1: so this too shall pass. I said that to you 94 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,120 Speaker 1: when you said it. Yeah, I love that story too, 95 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:05,680 Speaker 1: because when you were talking to me, I could see 96 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:09,279 Speaker 1: the excitement in your voice and just like the positive 97 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:12,400 Speaker 1: thing that it brought for you, like mentally, emotionally, and 98 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:15,480 Speaker 1: I think right now we're specifically all kind of looking 99 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:18,919 Speaker 1: for those positive looks at life and things to be 100 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,839 Speaker 1: grateful for. Again, that's a lot of what happened in 101 00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 1: my week too, and I'll share in a minute, but 102 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:25,000 Speaker 1: um but yeah, like I love And it's also helping 103 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:28,960 Speaker 1: the people that have really really helped the world year. 104 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 1: I can't you know, in talking with them, it was like, 105 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,479 Speaker 1: so I thought of something that I hadn't really thought 106 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:36,040 Speaker 1: of it, like the mental toll that it takes on 107 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,840 Speaker 1: these people, like, yes, it is their job and they 108 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 1: are trained to do this. And I talked to them 109 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 1: about it, and it was like they learned very quickly 110 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 1: to put up a wall because not everyone's going to live, 111 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 1: you know, whether it's COVID or whatever. You know, people 112 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 1: come in with emergencies all the time, and they have 113 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 1: to do that because at a certain point they also 114 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,520 Speaker 1: have to go home and cook dinner for their kids. 115 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,520 Speaker 1: Can't take it with you, can't take it with you. 116 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 1: And one of the women reminded me in our conversation, 117 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,080 Speaker 1: she was like, you know, I know a lot of 118 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:08,440 Speaker 1: people go into the doctor's office and they leave like 119 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:11,760 Speaker 1: disappointed because the doctor or the nurse or the person 120 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 1: in the front counter or whoever, like maybe didn't have 121 00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:16,680 Speaker 1: the best bedside manner or wasn't as cheery as you 122 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,479 Speaker 1: would want them to be. But you have to remember 123 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,360 Speaker 1: that like maybe the person in the room next door, 124 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,040 Speaker 1: they just had to deliver the news that like your 125 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,760 Speaker 1: terminal or your mother's gonna die or something like that. 126 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 1: Like these doctors and nurses and frontline workers, like they 127 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,480 Speaker 1: have to deal with really heavy stuff all the time. 128 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:40,159 Speaker 1: So like lifting your mood is not necessarily on the 129 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 1: priority list. And it was just like wow, like how 130 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:47,159 Speaker 1: selfish are we that we expect that, like that our 131 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 1: happiness had relied lays in the hands of like our 132 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 1: doctors and nurses, Like our health is in their hands, um, 133 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,360 Speaker 1: but our happiness isn't. And it was just like really 134 00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 1: eye opening to hear that because I think that like 135 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,360 Speaker 1: we had a lot of pressure on them. We walk 136 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 1: in and we think our problems are worse than everybody's 137 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,520 Speaker 1: and fixed me the fastest, and these people are dealing 138 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 1: with like on an everyday level, dealing with like heavy stuff. 139 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 1: So you know, I think, hug your doctor or hug 140 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 1: your nurse next time you see them, because it's we 141 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 1: need to remind ourselves that, like it's their job is 142 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 1: really hard well heavy, Yeah, And it's also I think 143 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: one of the big lessons I took out is just 144 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,320 Speaker 1: the reminder of how human we all are. And I 145 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 1: think that's sort of still happening, especially with this like 146 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 1: cancel culture stuff that's going on, and like you say 147 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 1: one wrong thing and people want to be done with you, 148 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 1: and the reality is it's like no, we all say 149 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 1: wrong things all the time, and yes, some of them 150 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: are terrible. But if we aren't going to give someone 151 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:47,120 Speaker 1: the the what's the word, the grace of just like 152 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 1: you're human and you get another shot, I don't know, 153 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:52,280 Speaker 1: like I can't buy into that. And I hear a 154 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 1: lot of that in this story too, of just you know, 155 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,080 Speaker 1: maybe they didn't do the best job that day at 156 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 1: cheering you up, but who knows. You etter know what 157 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 1: someone else is going through. So yeah, everyone's humans. So 158 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:05,360 Speaker 1: that's a really good one. I liked that, um My 159 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:08,560 Speaker 1: Week was interested totally not in a way of like 160 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 1: helping other people. So this is all about me. But 161 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,119 Speaker 1: but I have really like I mean, I don't feel 162 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 1: like I've completely quit working over the last year, but 163 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 1: I hit something like something happened where like a lot 164 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:25,040 Speaker 1: of stuff felt like it was falling apart. And then 165 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,080 Speaker 1: I just realized how much I've been working the last 166 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:29,440 Speaker 1: couple of years, and the burnout was like so severe 167 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:33,360 Speaker 1: that I just could not work. Really yeah, I was 168 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 1: just working to work, and then once it kind of 169 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,760 Speaker 1: stopped because of the pandemic, it makes you step back 170 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 1: and go, wait, what do I actually want to be doing? 171 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:42,640 Speaker 1: And all of this stuff, you know, and so I've 172 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:45,160 Speaker 1: really been in this back and forth for I think 173 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,160 Speaker 1: this whole time with COVID. I think I've gone through 174 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,439 Speaker 1: some depression with it and just kind of being like 175 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 1: what do I want in my life? With my purpose? 176 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,679 Speaker 1: Just all of those questions that I think we all 177 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:58,199 Speaker 1: hit at some point. Um. But this week, I it's 178 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 1: like the simple things have started to come back. And 179 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,800 Speaker 1: like I got to go to set one day and 180 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,800 Speaker 1: I worked a full photo shoot and then I literally 181 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 1: went to the airport and got on a plane to 182 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,600 Speaker 1: go to another job in Denver, and I was like, 183 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:13,160 Speaker 1: oh my god, Like what is this? It was so exciting, 184 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,040 Speaker 1: but it was the way that my life used to 185 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 1: be all the time, so much so to the point 186 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:19,960 Speaker 1: where I was so jaded, you know, and just kind 187 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:25,280 Speaker 1: of like exhausted and just yeah, I gotta go to Denver, 188 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 1: you know. And like so I went to Denver with Dirks, 189 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 1: and um we literally were there for a day and 190 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:35,280 Speaker 1: for this like job that lasted it was like an 191 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,319 Speaker 1: hour and a half that all worked, like it really 192 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:41,160 Speaker 1: wasn't that long, but doing it, I was getting in 193 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:42,760 Speaker 1: the car and his manager looked at me and she 194 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 1: was like, I'm on fucking fire. Right now. I just 195 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,839 Speaker 1: worked for thirty minutes and we were both I was like, 196 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:51,680 Speaker 1: I literally haven't had that much energy and over years, 197 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,760 Speaker 1: Oh my god. And I finally felt like a little 198 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,240 Speaker 1: bit like myself again, you know. And I hate that 199 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:00,880 Speaker 1: I put so much weight into what I do as 200 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 1: like part of my identity. Um, but I do feel 201 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 1: like it's a little separate from that now and just 202 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 1: that I can look at the people that I work with, 203 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:12,320 Speaker 1: the things that I get to do, just like how 204 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,920 Speaker 1: I can make people feel better or anything that I 205 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:18,200 Speaker 1: can do to contribute gives me some sort of purpose, 206 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,600 Speaker 1: right And it's like now you can look at it like, 207 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,440 Speaker 1: wait a minute, I do this because it fills me up, 208 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,960 Speaker 1: Like you're not doing it because you feel like you 209 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,959 Speaker 1: need to be doing it, Like you're doing it because 210 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,960 Speaker 1: you want to be doing Oh my god. I was 211 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:33,520 Speaker 1: just so excited to have the opportunity to do my job, 212 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 1: you know. And then like it's that thing too where 213 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 1: you haven't done something and so long that you're like 214 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:39,680 Speaker 1: do I even know how to do this anymore? And 215 00:10:39,679 --> 00:10:42,680 Speaker 1: then I did it and I was like, yeah, it 216 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,000 Speaker 1: just gave me a little boost, you know that I 217 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:46,720 Speaker 1: just I went home, and I was telling my boyfriend 218 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,040 Speaker 1: about it, and I was just like, he was like, God, 219 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,280 Speaker 1: you just seem like you just are on fire, and 220 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 1: I was just like, legit was like what, Um, I 221 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,439 Speaker 1: just came sauntering in, you know, like all of a sudden, 222 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 1: I like have a swagger. But it just it gave 223 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 1: a little pep in my step. And so I was 224 00:11:04,559 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 1: just so grateful for that opportunity this week and then 225 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 1: just kind of carrying that over into the rest of 226 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:13,079 Speaker 1: hopefully the year, you know, hopefully things start to pick 227 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 1: back up for everybody, because I know there's a lot 228 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,600 Speaker 1: of people in our business specifically just feeling that and 229 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,360 Speaker 1: needing that thing that you like have a reason to 230 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,559 Speaker 1: get up every day and go do something like it 231 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 1: just it gave me a whole new sense of gratitude 232 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,520 Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah. I mean I think overall, it just 233 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: feels like, and I don't know if it's this way 234 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 1: in every industry, but it feels like we're about to 235 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 1: turn a corner. And that's so like, yeah, knock on wood. Um, 236 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,480 Speaker 1: it's that it just is an uplifting sort of thing, 237 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:44,239 Speaker 1: and like I'm hoping that like what we're feeling personally 238 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,839 Speaker 1: other people are feeling too, because I think if it's 239 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:52,640 Speaker 1: a collective sort of uprising positivity, positivity, then like energy 240 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:56,319 Speaker 1: that will sort of manifest it in the world. Um, 241 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,360 Speaker 1: and you know, look, more and more people are getting vaccine. 242 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 1: I'm getting it tomorrow this yeah. So um, you know 243 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 1: it's just like it's like it's I've got a renewed 244 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 1: sense of hope. And I think that it feels like 245 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,280 Speaker 1: talking to you and talking to some other friends, like 246 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 1: it's kind of where everyone is. And maybe that has 247 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,199 Speaker 1: something to do with like it springs around the corner, 248 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:18,760 Speaker 1: like you know, we're coming out of just like a 249 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:23,199 Speaker 1: cold winter. So retrogrades over, nothing's in retrograde right now, 250 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,679 Speaker 1: which is interesting. There's still like a little if we're 251 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:27,679 Speaker 1: gonna get real technical with it, here I go. He 252 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 1: just rolled it's still a little shadow phase of the 253 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 1: mercury retrograde, but it's fading out. Okay, So yeah, that 254 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,800 Speaker 1: makes me feel positive. I think none of us are. 255 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,240 Speaker 1: This is what I've been the conversations I've been having 256 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,760 Speaker 1: a lot of us don't realize the weight of what 257 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,199 Speaker 1: we've been carrying, the stress, like is it going to 258 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:49,120 Speaker 1: be financially Okay, Will I ever go back to work, 259 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 1: will I lose this client? Whatever it looks like in 260 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,080 Speaker 1: your life, or like the frontline workers being under so 261 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 1: much pressure that they can't even breathe, you know, they're 262 00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:01,439 Speaker 1: taking on jobs that they didn't even apply for exactly exactly. 263 00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:03,880 Speaker 1: So I think maybe that's some of what we're feeling too, 264 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 1: is maybe some of that lifting, some of the pressure 265 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 1: and it just the ship we've been carrying. So I hope. 266 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,960 Speaker 1: So I loved your positive story. I also had a 267 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,400 Speaker 1: positive week. So here we are. It feels good. Speaking 268 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:25,280 Speaker 1: of feeling good, oh so um well, I mean I 269 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: feel like this could go down um in history, like 270 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 1: either really good or bad. But I'm I'm leaning in, well, 271 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,640 Speaker 1: you don't really have a choice at this point. But 272 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,520 Speaker 1: the other thing is just like once you put something 273 00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:41,000 Speaker 1: out there, like you can't take it back. So that's 274 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,240 Speaker 1: where I'm like, whatever, we're both about to do that. 275 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,800 Speaker 1: But we want to have a moment for the casual 276 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 1: moment of the week, which actually happened last week during 277 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:54,559 Speaker 1: the recording of our at Casual episode, and I'm just 278 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,920 Speaker 1: gonna set the same for you guys. We're on Zoom 279 00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,720 Speaker 1: because it was snow apocalypse here, which is just insane 280 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:01,760 Speaker 1: anything about looking out the window right now. But um, 281 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,240 Speaker 1: we just couldn't get to each other, and so we're 282 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:07,520 Speaker 1: on zoom and it's a little harder to read each 283 00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:09,720 Speaker 1: other's energy, which we've talked about, and like, you know, 284 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,719 Speaker 1: sometimes we'll talk over each other and there's all these 285 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:14,560 Speaker 1: things going. And I was on a rant about only 286 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:23,120 Speaker 1: god knows what, but sure, and I thought that you 287 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,240 Speaker 1: were just really interested in what I was saying because 288 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:30,120 Speaker 1: you were super quiet on the other end. And I'm 289 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 1: just like, oh, he's really filling this too, because here 290 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,960 Speaker 1: I go, you know, like, I'm just like you just 291 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 1: keep vamping totally, just going and going and going. And 292 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,840 Speaker 1: finally I think I took a breath where you could 293 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,560 Speaker 1: get a word in, and you looked at me, you know, 294 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 1: let me just I'm just gonna play the clip. We 295 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:49,840 Speaker 1: just do that, trusting our government too much. Hey, can 296 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:53,200 Speaker 1: we hit pause for a one quick sec. I'm don't 297 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 1: use this in the show, but I'm about to ship 298 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,240 Speaker 1: my pants because of this drink. Oh no, I'll be 299 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:05,360 Speaker 1: right back, I'll be right back. Okay, Well, okay, well, okay, 300 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:09,520 Speaker 1: so look I thought about because you know, I asked 301 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,040 Speaker 1: Kelly last week, I was like, can we just edit 302 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,920 Speaker 1: that out? And but I thought about it and I 303 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,480 Speaker 1: was like, you know, we talked about on this on 304 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 1: this podcast all the time, like openness and communication and 305 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:24,840 Speaker 1: like we're here to like where your friends, like you know, 306 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,720 Speaker 1: this is just friends having conversation. And I'm like, then 307 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,160 Speaker 1: why would I lie about that, you know, like why 308 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,720 Speaker 1: would people look? I also have a confession. I actually 309 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 1: did ship my pants. Just did not, I know, because 310 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,400 Speaker 1: I was embarrassed, But like the more I thought about 311 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 1: like the honesty of like even playing the club and 312 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 1: you guys, this this is a mic drop moment because 313 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,120 Speaker 1: I did not tell Kelly I was going to do this, 314 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,640 Speaker 1: Like this is me like being like, oh, this is 315 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:54,840 Speaker 1: gonna feel really good about being fully honest. Like I 316 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:59,119 Speaker 1: shipped my pants a little bit. I did. The funniest 317 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 1: part was in my question on I was going to 318 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 1: ask you have you ever ship your parents? So there's 319 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,560 Speaker 1: the trip, and the thing is is I only told 320 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:11,120 Speaker 1: two people. I told my sister and my sister's best 321 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,760 Speaker 1: friend because she's kind of like my sister too. And 322 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,280 Speaker 1: then I get a text from my niece because I 323 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,640 Speaker 1: was like, oh, my God, this happened today, and like 324 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:20,520 Speaker 1: Kelly was talking, I had to sit in it for 325 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:25,320 Speaker 1: a second. I get I get a text from my 326 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 1: twelve year old niece that says you just sat in it, 327 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:31,240 Speaker 1: and I was like my sister and her big mouth. 328 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:33,760 Speaker 1: And then I got a text from another friend of 329 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,440 Speaker 1: my sisters that referenced it. And I texted my sister 330 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:38,520 Speaker 1: and I was like, I am never telling you a 331 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:41,880 Speaker 1: secret ever again, like you literally cannot keep your mouth shut. 332 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:44,080 Speaker 1: And all she said back was like the crying laughing 333 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:51,640 Speaker 1: emoji for did the crying laughing. She's like, huh, fuck you. 334 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,280 Speaker 1: I wasn't like I was. It was just like, okay, 335 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 1: I'm gonna set up the scene too, like I drank. 336 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 1: The reason why I told my sister is because she's 337 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,640 Speaker 1: like super into Keto, so, which you've talked about how 338 00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:06,080 Speaker 1: you have been a big, big, big Keto advocate the 339 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:08,200 Speaker 1: last couple of weeks. So when we get on the podcast, 340 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,679 Speaker 1: he's sipping on this shape. It's a slim fast like 341 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 1: meal replacement shake and it says in it and I 342 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:18,879 Speaker 1: didn't know you. I wanted to ask my sister what 343 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:22,280 Speaker 1: mct oil is and like how it affects things. You 344 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,880 Speaker 1: just said this from the gig. I do bulletproof coffee. 345 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 1: So I do that every corning and literally when I 346 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,520 Speaker 1: first started, I mean, it's like you will shut your 347 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:33,239 Speaker 1: pants and you have you can't and you can't have 348 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:36,720 Speaker 1: you have to kind of ease your stomach into crazy. 349 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 1: Thing is is like, so what I bought it was 350 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,120 Speaker 1: a four pack. This was my last one. I had 351 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:44,760 Speaker 1: not had that reaction to it, but I guess that morning, 352 00:17:44,840 --> 00:17:48,359 Speaker 1: like or that day, it just rocked. And maybe because 353 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:51,359 Speaker 1: I hadn't eaten anything all day, that was like the 354 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,119 Speaker 1: first thing I consumed. And I think it was just 355 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 1: like I had there was nothing to hold it back. 356 00:17:56,920 --> 00:18:00,440 Speaker 1: But luckily, like it was not like a terrible sit situation. 357 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,560 Speaker 1: It was like where I could like get in shape. 358 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,120 Speaker 1: I mean, I think when I came back to the Zoom, 359 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 1: I was probably just only wearing fresh underwear. Okay, that's 360 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:08,400 Speaker 1: what I was going to ask. You have a couple 361 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:11,320 Speaker 1: of questions of one, did you were you thinking you 362 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,679 Speaker 1: were about to fart? And then it was no. It 363 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:15,440 Speaker 1: was like one of those you know when you're driving 364 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:16,960 Speaker 1: your car and you've got to go really bad and 365 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:20,480 Speaker 1: you're getting closer to home and you're just like you 366 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 1: can't even breathe because you feel like the wrong exhale. 367 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:25,960 Speaker 1: It was one of those moments, and I was trying 368 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,320 Speaker 1: not to show my like do it away. You obviously were, 369 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:32,919 Speaker 1: because I was like no, So I didn't think it was. 370 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,919 Speaker 1: It was like I knew what was about to happen you, 371 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 1: but you couldn't want, couldn't um. The other question I 372 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,040 Speaker 1: had is when you got up, what did you do? 373 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,320 Speaker 1: What was your protocol? Just went to run straight. I 374 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,119 Speaker 1: had to run straight to the bathroom because I literally 375 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,040 Speaker 1: had to go again. I had to go um. And 376 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,960 Speaker 1: then I, you know, cleaned up as fast as I 377 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:58,639 Speaker 1: could because I changed my clothes. Um. So I earlier. First, 378 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:02,320 Speaker 1: before I knew you actually at your pants, I was like, 379 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,960 Speaker 1: what are some funny tangents that we could go on 380 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 1: about this topic of poop? So I googled what do 381 00:19:10,119 --> 00:19:12,720 Speaker 1: you do if you accidentally poop your pants? This is 382 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,719 Speaker 1: just randomly, Thank god I was at home. I'm not 383 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:19,280 Speaker 1: going to say I haven't done that too. I feel 384 00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:23,560 Speaker 1: like every like every adult does, like I was, I 385 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,000 Speaker 1: was very fortunate that I was at home, Like what 386 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,520 Speaker 1: if I was sitting right here. You know, well then 387 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:32,240 Speaker 1: I would have it. Man. That's like I feel like 388 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,400 Speaker 1: that's some sort of T shirt. Is like I sat 389 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,880 Speaker 1: in it or something. We gotta you know that, Like 390 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,240 Speaker 1: you made that bet, you lie in it, You ship 391 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 1: those pants, you sit in them. It's like it's got 392 00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:48,080 Speaker 1: like a diaper liner that you can like insert. Gross. 393 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,119 Speaker 1: So I so when I googled what do you do 394 00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:54,239 Speaker 1: if you accidentally poop your pants? Oddly, there are a 395 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:58,640 Speaker 1: million articles with tips on how to, like one, clean 396 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,399 Speaker 1: out your pants, Like this one is what would you 397 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,360 Speaker 1: do if you pooped your pants at work? And it's 398 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,119 Speaker 1: like wrap the soiled underwear and toilet tissue and or 399 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,200 Speaker 1: place it in a plastic bag to discard it in 400 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:10,280 Speaker 1: a waist bin outdoors if you can't reach the outdoors, 401 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 1: buried in the restroom wistebin. Since the underwear will generally 402 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:16,280 Speaker 1: catch the brunt of the damage, the pants should be recoverable. 403 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:21,880 Speaker 1: They may just be damp. It's kind of like moist. 404 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,960 Speaker 1: I mean, there's all these things. It's like, so you 405 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,240 Speaker 1: pooped your pants in public? Now what it's one article, 406 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,640 Speaker 1: So you pooped your pants? Seven steps to cleaning up. 407 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,119 Speaker 1: I pooped my pants here what it's like living with 408 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,920 Speaker 1: IVS O that one. You know, IVS is a differently 409 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,160 Speaker 1: different deal. Um, but I think it's hilarious that there's 410 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:45,760 Speaker 1: tips on how to clean it is pretty disgusting. Yeah, 411 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,040 Speaker 1: I mean, I mean I know how to deal with it, 412 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,800 Speaker 1: like from dealing with kids. Ship would you be like, 413 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 1: oh my god, what happened for me with We'll see? 414 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:58,480 Speaker 1: Why am I going here? And we're just gonna be together? Yeah, 415 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,640 Speaker 1: this is what's amazing. It's like when you are honest 416 00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:04,760 Speaker 1: with your friends about everyone's like, oh I did that. Yeah, 417 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:07,200 Speaker 1: It's like then you realize, like why was I keeping 418 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,879 Speaker 1: this a secret? We're all humans that ship our pants. 419 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,720 Speaker 1: I really hope that we get a lot of stories 420 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,800 Speaker 1: after this about pooping your pants stories. I had just 421 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:18,240 Speaker 1: gotten over a stomach bug and was going to work 422 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,119 Speaker 1: and it was a photo shoot and I was like 423 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,439 Speaker 1: feeling good finally, like I was out of the window 424 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,080 Speaker 1: of the virus and feeling better. So I'm dressed, I 425 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,760 Speaker 1: loaded my car. Um. At this time, I lived in 426 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:32,120 Speaker 1: a condo, so I was like the third floor up 427 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,000 Speaker 1: and so, but I was already in my car, so 428 00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:38,240 Speaker 1: I thought that I just had to pass gas and 429 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:40,800 Speaker 1: literally it was more than that. And so then I'm like, 430 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 1: oh my god, because I'm gonna be late for work, 431 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:46,480 Speaker 1: but I have to run up the stairs change everything. 432 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,719 Speaker 1: It was mortifying. So then I'm like texting the photographer 433 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,800 Speaker 1: and I'm like, hey, I'm running ten minutes behind, so sorry, 434 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,600 Speaker 1: traffic is terrible. So when I get there, of course, 435 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,200 Speaker 1: it's one of those days where they're like, oh, where'd 436 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,200 Speaker 1: you hit traffic? And I start start asking me on 437 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 1: these questions and what am I What am I going 438 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:03,919 Speaker 1: to do? Oh? Sorry, guys, Actually I just shipped my pants. 439 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,480 Speaker 1: But it was pretty pretty embarrassing. Do you remember that 440 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,520 Speaker 1: snl skit Oops I craped my pants? No, but tell 441 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,480 Speaker 1: me it was like an adult undergarment like ad and 442 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,240 Speaker 1: it was like elderly people. It was like, oops, I 443 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:23,639 Speaker 1: crab my pants. I Also, my favorite advertisement ever made 444 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,000 Speaker 1: was for Kmart a few years ago, and it was 445 00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:29,400 Speaker 1: about like their online shipping department, like that you could 446 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:32,400 Speaker 1: ship anything, but the way that they like wrote it 447 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:35,919 Speaker 1: was so brilliant. It was like it was like I 448 00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:38,560 Speaker 1: can ship my pants and it's like an old lady 449 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,280 Speaker 1: and be like I just shipped my heidy. I just 450 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 1: shipped my drawers, like it was like it was they 451 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:47,040 Speaker 1: were saying shipped, but it's like it sounded like ship 452 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,840 Speaker 1: and I could I literally could watch that commercial every night. 453 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,400 Speaker 1: That was a real commercial. I wonder Camart went out 454 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:55,480 Speaker 1: of they. I mean, I feel like it was just 455 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,040 Speaker 1: they were a little late. Oh and one of the 456 00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:04,080 Speaker 1: guy goes, I just shipped my bits on YouTube. You 457 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:09,600 Speaker 1: have to google. God, please, let's look that up. The 458 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,359 Speaker 1: other thing I googled was what do you do if 459 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,040 Speaker 1: you need to poop in the public because a lot 460 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:17,000 Speaker 1: of people have a serious fear. Yeah, it's a phobia. Um. 461 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,639 Speaker 1: This webin d actually has a full article about tips 462 00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,879 Speaker 1: to ease your fear of pooping in public places. I 463 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:24,280 Speaker 1: don't really have this issue. No, if I have to go, 464 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:25,879 Speaker 1: I have to go. I mean, look, I hate it 465 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:29,520 Speaker 1: when you like, oh my god, this bathroom is or 466 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:33,320 Speaker 1: it's like a lot of people are in there. Yeah 467 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:36,840 Speaker 1: my pants. Yeah. My boyfriend will come home from work 468 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:39,840 Speaker 1: and like to go to the bathroom. He lives close 469 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:42,000 Speaker 1: to his office, but like, like, if I'm in there 470 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,359 Speaker 1: in the morning, sometime he comes back and I'm like, 471 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:47,160 Speaker 1: what do you uh? I think it's so funny. It's 472 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:52,840 Speaker 1: like at what point do we shift to being embarrassed 473 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:55,760 Speaker 1: about pooping, like where we're not my my like five 474 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,800 Speaker 1: year old four year old niece is like I just pooped, 475 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,320 Speaker 1: you know, like it's a like or they'll be like, 476 00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:04,239 Speaker 1: I have to poop, and I would never say that now. 477 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,240 Speaker 1: I would be like, I gotta go pee. I'm not 478 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,119 Speaker 1: and there's no shame in there's no like weird shame, 479 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:15,119 Speaker 1: and like I feel like with pooping, it smells bad 480 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,800 Speaker 1: and so maybe it's like a gross factor. So people 481 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:22,439 Speaker 1: are kind of like, but it's like, I mean, but 482 00:24:22,440 --> 00:24:24,360 Speaker 1: I'm not going to go fart around a guy. Like 483 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:26,720 Speaker 1: it's just you know what I mean, I don't even 484 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,399 Speaker 1: really fart aroout. My boyfriend's yeah, slipped out every now 485 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 1: and again. But I mean, it happens. We're humans, So 486 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:36,040 Speaker 1: I'm trying to I figured that this would be me 487 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:39,760 Speaker 1: normalizing pooping your pants. Well that's like actually an interesting 488 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:41,760 Speaker 1: point too. When you first started dating someone, you're so 489 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:44,399 Speaker 1: embarrassed about that, like it's like it's that easy and 490 00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:47,760 Speaker 1: the first time you actually like, hey, oh god, his 491 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,600 Speaker 1: eyes just lit up. Are you gonna tell everybody? Or 492 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,879 Speaker 1: is this for after? Tell it? Okay? Let's hear it. 493 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,639 Speaker 1: So this is ID. I lived in Los Angeles and 494 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:59,720 Speaker 1: I was dating this guy, and it was like kind 495 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:03,600 Speaker 1: of early on, and um, I'd gone over to his house. 496 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:07,000 Speaker 1: I hadn't spent the night at his house yet, and um, 497 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:10,560 Speaker 1: I certainly hadn't moved in his house. And we've had dinner, 498 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,080 Speaker 1: and I feel like it was like there was like 499 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,080 Speaker 1: it was like a greasy dinner or something I can't remember. 500 00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:17,040 Speaker 1: And I stayed pretty late and I was like, oh, 501 00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:19,240 Speaker 1: I gotta go home because like my dogs at home, 502 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,200 Speaker 1: and and I got in the car to drive home, 503 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 1: and he lived probably like he lived twenty minutes from me, 504 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:28,919 Speaker 1: and so it was like late at night and like 505 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,639 Speaker 1: on a weekday too, so there weren't like a lot 506 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:33,240 Speaker 1: of people out. And I get like halfway from his 507 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,320 Speaker 1: house to my house and my stomach does that like 508 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:39,160 Speaker 1: thing where I'm like, oh my god, and it's like 509 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:43,040 Speaker 1: I was like it was a panic sweat immediately because 510 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:46,119 Speaker 1: I knew that like I wasn't going to make it 511 00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 1: in either direction, probably similar to what you looked like 512 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 1: last week. And I was one of those things where 513 00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,600 Speaker 1: I was like I can't call him back to be 514 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,040 Speaker 1: like hey, have you gone to bed already? Like I 515 00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:56,720 Speaker 1: needn't turn around and come back to your house and 516 00:25:56,800 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 1: like explode, and um, I reached full on panic pone. 517 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:04,160 Speaker 1: I was like, I've literally said out loud, what am 518 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:07,879 Speaker 1: I going to do? And then so I like found 519 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:11,040 Speaker 1: this and there's no like back roads in Los Angeles, 520 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,320 Speaker 1: you know, they're all like it's all this big, huge 521 00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:17,359 Speaker 1: residential sort of patchwork. So I found this like street 522 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:21,000 Speaker 1: and I pulled over and literally just like ship in 523 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,680 Speaker 1: a storm drain and I had I had a T 524 00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:25,720 Speaker 1: shirt in the trunk of my car that I used 525 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:28,280 Speaker 1: and it was like trash collection night. So I just 526 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,679 Speaker 1: threw my T shirt and someone's trash can and like 527 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:32,800 Speaker 1: prayed that no one saw me do it. But if 528 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,040 Speaker 1: there was a camera, like I'm sure, I mean now, 529 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:38,680 Speaker 1: like with ring cameras, there's no escape. So I get 530 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,280 Speaker 1: back in my car and I drive home and literally 531 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:42,919 Speaker 1: four minutes later, my stomach going and I go, I 532 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:48,400 Speaker 1: literally go, God, not again, and I had to pull over. 533 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:50,159 Speaker 1: I had to do it again. I did do it 534 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,800 Speaker 1: twice on the way. Did you have anything to wipe with? Yeah? 535 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:55,960 Speaker 1: I had a beach towel. Oh my god, Yeah, you did. 536 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:01,080 Speaker 1: Thank God, no one like walked by walking their dog 537 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:05,399 Speaker 1: or something like that. Don't mind me so embarrassing you 538 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:11,320 Speaker 1: looked out your window and we're like, yeah, so now 539 00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:14,480 Speaker 1: that I've embarrassed myself to thousands of listen, what chip 540 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:17,200 Speaker 1: everybody poops? Everybody said, I mean this is I tell 541 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:20,320 Speaker 1: my boyfriend's kids this all the time because they're enough old. 542 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,040 Speaker 1: I mean there's six and eight, almost nine and seven, 543 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:26,800 Speaker 1: and they they have the embarrassment piece of like or 544 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:28,440 Speaker 1: like when I go to the bathroom and they're like, 545 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,479 Speaker 1: I think Kelly was poopy. You know, it's like that 546 00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:34,600 Speaker 1: kind of thing, and I'm like, guys, everybody poops, everybody 547 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,159 Speaker 1: because I just like for them too. With girls. I 548 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,320 Speaker 1: feel like with specifically with girls, like guys like go 549 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,000 Speaker 1: around farting and like talking about ship all the time, 550 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,560 Speaker 1: and like we're supposed to not do that. Like I've 551 00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:48,959 Speaker 1: actually heard guys be like girls poop, that's such an 552 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:53,000 Speaker 1: old is just so stupid. It's like if they don't, 553 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:57,240 Speaker 1: something's wrong with them. Yeah, So that's what I'm trying 554 00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,439 Speaker 1: to get the girls just kind of more used to 555 00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:01,600 Speaker 1: the idea that like you don't need to go around 556 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:04,000 Speaker 1: announcing it, but like also like you don't need to 557 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,880 Speaker 1: feel shame because your body is functioning properly. It's called digestion. 558 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:12,960 Speaker 1: Good thing. So anyway, no shame when you're game. Thank 559 00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,280 Speaker 1: you for sharing. I mean I feel like you handled 560 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:19,080 Speaker 1: it very casually, acted very casual. I mean as casual 561 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:22,080 Speaker 1: as you could sitting in your own ship. God. And 562 00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:24,920 Speaker 1: I was in the shower yesterday I was like, I'm 563 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:26,800 Speaker 1: going to tell Kelly the truth. And it's like this 564 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:30,520 Speaker 1: weightlifted because I was like, next thing, I know my 565 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,280 Speaker 1: sister is gonna have it on Facebook. Someone will see it, 566 00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:35,280 Speaker 1: and I was like, I might as well just come clean. 567 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,720 Speaker 1: So ha ha, Jenny, jokes on you because you can't 568 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:43,760 Speaker 1: tell my secret anymore. I took it back and you're 569 00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:46,240 Speaker 1: only as sick as your secrets. It's good for you 570 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,200 Speaker 1: for just owning it. It feels good. So thank you 571 00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:51,280 Speaker 1: to all of my friends out there listening that's that 572 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:52,720 Speaker 1: are not going to judge me. You know I didn't 573 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,720 Speaker 1: send your ship stories, so let's let's keep normalizing. Please 574 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:59,239 Speaker 1: tell us when you poopd your paints. All right now, 575 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,160 Speaker 1: it's not for the listener question of the week. This 576 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:05,760 Speaker 1: one I died first of all, it's long, um, but 577 00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,240 Speaker 1: thank god. I mean, it's a really good one, and 578 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,000 Speaker 1: it's it's very interesting, and again, I feel like we 579 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,040 Speaker 1: need the full story, So here we go. This comes 580 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,640 Speaker 1: from Billy, who is a woman. Um, and she said, Hi, 581 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,520 Speaker 1: Kelly and Chip love your podcast so much. I'm really 582 00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:22,000 Speaker 1: wanting to get your take on my situation. Yes, I 583 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:23,880 Speaker 1: know you want emails to be kept short and to 584 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:25,640 Speaker 1: the point, but this is not going to be one 585 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,640 Speaker 1: of those. Sorry. I love that she just calls me out. 586 00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,840 Speaker 1: She's like, bitch, please read my email. Okay, um, she goes. 587 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:34,120 Speaker 1: I met my fiance almost five years ago. We immediately 588 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,960 Speaker 1: hit it off and started dating what I thought was exclusively. 589 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:38,920 Speaker 1: I was very upfront with him that I don't do 590 00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 1: casual sex relationships, so if that isn't what he wanted, 591 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,480 Speaker 1: we needed to just be friends. He was good with that, 592 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,720 Speaker 1: or so I thought. Right from the beginning. He told 593 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:48,760 Speaker 1: me he had an ex wife, two kids with her 594 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:52,000 Speaker 1: and a baby mama one with her, and that they 595 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:55,440 Speaker 1: were very particular about who was around the kids. Okay, 596 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,560 Speaker 1: I know the ex wife and she approves, so you 597 00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,400 Speaker 1: just need to make sure that the baby mamma is 598 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,200 Speaker 1: okay with it. The first couple of years were off 599 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:06,160 Speaker 1: and on. He quote unquote didn't want to get attached 600 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:08,840 Speaker 1: his son's mom, who was the baby mama, not the 601 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,840 Speaker 1: ex wife, will never let me have this isn't quotes 602 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,600 Speaker 1: will never let me have another woman around him, so 603 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:18,040 Speaker 1: why bother? But anyway, we kept going. I became very 604 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,120 Speaker 1: close with his daughters, and he finally asked me if 605 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:22,320 Speaker 1: he could if I could see myself moving in with him, 606 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,719 Speaker 1: and I said I did. The baby mama gave him 607 00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:27,320 Speaker 1: an ultimatum, at this point, if we aren't going to 608 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,640 Speaker 1: be together, I'm taking our son and moving literally across 609 00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:34,120 Speaker 1: the country. He told her they weren't, and she made 610 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,680 Speaker 1: plans to move, which she did. At this point, I 611 00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:38,800 Speaker 1: was staying with him basically all the time, but there 612 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:40,720 Speaker 1: were things that I didn't feel like he was being 613 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,560 Speaker 1: open with me about. He always kept his phone on silent, 614 00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,000 Speaker 1: It was never out of his hand. Basically, if the 615 00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,000 Speaker 1: son or his mom called, he would either send it 616 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:49,920 Speaker 1: to voicemail or only talk to them in the other 617 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,360 Speaker 1: room or on his drive home from work. When I 618 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,480 Speaker 1: would bring it up, he would say that he didn't 619 00:30:54,560 --> 00:31:00,360 Speaker 1: want to make me feel uncomfortable December of guests. I 620 00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:03,880 Speaker 1: think she missed something here. But in December he proposed. 621 00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:06,200 Speaker 1: I was so happy. I had no idea it was coming. 622 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,400 Speaker 1: He invited all of our friends out to dinner and 623 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,040 Speaker 1: took me to one of my favorite places. He said 624 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:13,280 Speaker 1: we would plan for a wedding a year from then, 625 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 1: but that was short lived. Within a couple of hours 626 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,160 Speaker 1: of proposing, he asked me to keep it on the 627 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:21,160 Speaker 1: down low until he could tell his son's mom he 628 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,760 Speaker 1: needed to do it his way because she didn't know 629 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:27,120 Speaker 1: we were together. What the actual fuck? I could not 630 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:30,000 Speaker 1: believe it, But I also know how much of a 631 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 1: pain in the ash she can be, so I said, okay. 632 00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:35,680 Speaker 1: Here we are February of one and he still hasn't 633 00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,520 Speaker 1: told her. I have stopped wearing my ring. He broke 634 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:40,760 Speaker 1: my heart and he doesn't understand. He feels like I'm 635 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,680 Speaker 1: wrong for wanting him to just do it and deal 636 00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:45,880 Speaker 1: with the fallout. I don't understand what the fallout could be. 637 00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,360 Speaker 1: Why does it matter to her? Am I wrong to 638 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:51,040 Speaker 1: think something else is going on here, that even from 639 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:53,960 Speaker 1: across the u as, there is something happening between them. 640 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,360 Speaker 1: I should also mention he hasn't seen his son in 641 00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:59,080 Speaker 1: over a year, and when he was there last I 642 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,520 Speaker 1: moved out of the house to keep him from knowing. 643 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:03,880 Speaker 1: I love this man and his kids, but I don't 644 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,960 Speaker 1: know if I can keep this up. Also, just a 645 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,040 Speaker 1: side note, he had just last month changed his relationship 646 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:12,720 Speaker 1: status to in a relationship, which pissed me off. By 647 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:15,400 Speaker 1: the way, and we have never had any picks together 648 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:17,480 Speaker 1: on social media. Sorry this is long, but I would 649 00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:21,120 Speaker 1: appreciate your thoughts. Well. My first thought is shame on 650 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:24,400 Speaker 1: that baby mama for using that child as a pawn. Absolutely, 651 00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:30,720 Speaker 1: And I it's I wish that the fiance boyfriend whatever 652 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:34,240 Speaker 1: we're calling him, had the balls to take her to 653 00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:36,520 Speaker 1: court before she could move out of the state. Right. 654 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,440 Speaker 1: I don't understand how that works because I guess if 655 00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:44,440 Speaker 1: the state hasn't intervened in any way were ever married, right, Yeah, 656 00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,600 Speaker 1: I mean, I think if the court hasn't like gotten 657 00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:50,720 Speaker 1: involved in some way, then she's probably free to take 658 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,480 Speaker 1: the kid wherever she wants, you know, because in the 659 00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:56,480 Speaker 1: precedent has been set. But if he had gone taken 660 00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:58,720 Speaker 1: her to court and said, hell, no, you're not leaving 661 00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,959 Speaker 1: the state, right then, um, he probably would have had 662 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:05,200 Speaker 1: a little bit more sort of like legallee way, um, 663 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:07,800 Speaker 1: and now you know, it's like, look, I understand a 664 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:10,560 Speaker 1: father like being like, look, I love you, but I 665 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,080 Speaker 1: have to choose my kid and this woman is making 666 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:16,760 Speaker 1: it really difficult. Like so I think, like, and obviously 667 00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:18,680 Speaker 1: we're not involved on this on the day to day 668 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:22,000 Speaker 1: all we have is just this email, but like I 669 00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:23,640 Speaker 1: feel like there has to be a little bit of 670 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:27,000 Speaker 1: understanding that like he doesn't know what this like wild 671 00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:30,760 Speaker 1: card woman is gonna do, but it is his kid, Like, 672 00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:34,680 Speaker 1: so he's not really I'm hoping he's not choosing. It 673 00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:37,520 Speaker 1: probably feels like he's choosing this woman over his fiance. 674 00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:40,200 Speaker 1: But when it's like really, what he's doing is trying 675 00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:41,960 Speaker 1: to choose his kid, but he doesn't. This is like 676 00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:45,400 Speaker 1: unprecedented for him. Um. That said, he needs to man 677 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:48,840 Speaker 1: up and tell this woman I'm in love. I am 678 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,040 Speaker 1: happy because at the end of the day, Like what 679 00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:53,040 Speaker 1: kind of example do you want to set for your boy? 680 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:58,040 Speaker 1: Like you know that, like it's okay like for there 681 00:33:58,080 --> 00:33:59,880 Speaker 1: to be weirdness in your life. But I love this 682 00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:02,400 Speaker 1: woman and she's gonna be my wife and she's gonna 683 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,680 Speaker 1: be your step mom. And it doesn't matter what your 684 00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:08,200 Speaker 1: mom says, like I love you, and I feel like 685 00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:10,120 Speaker 1: that's he just needs a man up and deal with 686 00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,920 Speaker 1: it because he's gonna lose it all. He's gonna lose 687 00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:14,880 Speaker 1: his fiance, he's gonna lose his son, he's gonna lose 688 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,319 Speaker 1: it all if he doesn't just man up and be 689 00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,720 Speaker 1: a good dad. Yeah, I mean I I actually agree 690 00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:20,640 Speaker 1: with you. Like she I think was asking us, do 691 00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:22,839 Speaker 1: we think there's something going on? And I don't get 692 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:26,880 Speaker 1: the vibe of like there's fishy business. What I know 693 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,520 Speaker 1: about men, and I know this specifically to from my 694 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:33,120 Speaker 1: own personal experience of dating someone with kids. They're constantly 695 00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:35,960 Speaker 1: and just trying to keep the peace. So like whatever 696 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,560 Speaker 1: that looks like like when she was talking about the 697 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,840 Speaker 1: phone calls in the other room, well like sometimes like 698 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,080 Speaker 1: I've had to learn to let go and be like 699 00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:43,960 Speaker 1: can you take that in the other room, because like 700 00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:47,160 Speaker 1: I will get triggered about certain conversations or I'm like 701 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,279 Speaker 1: why would you say that? Or you know, like like 702 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:51,560 Speaker 1: because I want it done a certain way. And at 703 00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:52,959 Speaker 1: the end of the day, like you said, it really 704 00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,400 Speaker 1: is about the kids. And so it's a lot to 705 00:34:55,560 --> 00:35:00,520 Speaker 1: digest like one, it's a lot of juggling and bo lencing. 706 00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,239 Speaker 1: But what I've learned, I know with my boyfriend is 707 00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:07,799 Speaker 1: like he is just constantly trying to make sure they're okay. 708 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:11,560 Speaker 1: I'm okay, the ex wife is okay, so that we 709 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:12,960 Speaker 1: can all you know what I mean. It's just like 710 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,360 Speaker 1: it's like a balancing act, and I think that's a 711 00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,040 Speaker 1: lot of pressure on them. And so not to excuse 712 00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,440 Speaker 1: that this waiting, like I did. We did have to 713 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:23,040 Speaker 1: have a lot of calme to Jesus conversations for me 714 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,919 Speaker 1: about like, hey, I can be patient on certain things 715 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,279 Speaker 1: because I understand like this is about the kids and 716 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,360 Speaker 1: like we need to do the best thing for them, 717 00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,759 Speaker 1: but I also am a participant in this relationship and 718 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,719 Speaker 1: I need to be treated like an equal, you know, 719 00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:41,680 Speaker 1: like I need to have a say, I need to 720 00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:45,960 Speaker 1: be heard, Like I can't just be this like the 721 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,560 Speaker 1: person who's constantly trying to make y'all's lives easier without 722 00:35:49,719 --> 00:35:53,919 Speaker 1: the same sort of respect. Become that you're you're kind 723 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,120 Speaker 1: of a burden, or at least seen as a burden. 724 00:35:56,200 --> 00:36:00,440 Speaker 1: So it's like until your your voices did to the 725 00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:03,359 Speaker 1: conversation in a real way, like you are this like 726 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,759 Speaker 1: thorn in the side of the situation, because the way 727 00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:08,560 Speaker 1: to fix it is just to be like, let's all 728 00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:12,000 Speaker 1: be adults here and figure out the best path forward. Well, 729 00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:14,399 Speaker 1: and also like if you're if you're to the point 730 00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:18,680 Speaker 1: where you're engaged, you really do should have a say 731 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,919 Speaker 1: in like not necessarily being like you need to say 732 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:23,879 Speaker 1: this to her right now, but like y'all need to be, 733 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:28,120 Speaker 1: in my opinion, having conversations about what makes you comfortable too, 734 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:30,520 Speaker 1: like because you're to the point and you're about to 735 00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:33,000 Speaker 1: marry this person, like you are about to be a 736 00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:36,640 Speaker 1: part of the family, like on paper, you know, Like 737 00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,200 Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like, you know, in our in 738 00:36:41,239 --> 00:36:43,560 Speaker 1: our situation, like we've all gotten to a better place 739 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,840 Speaker 1: of working together and like all of that stuff. But 740 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,200 Speaker 1: you even did like Olive Branch Ship that was like 741 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:51,440 Speaker 1: out of your comfort zone, but you knew that you 742 00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:54,120 Speaker 1: had to do it at some point, right, And I'm happy, 743 00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:57,480 Speaker 1: like I think because I think everyone's trying to do that, 744 00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:01,040 Speaker 1: you know, and in our situation luckily, but um, it 745 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,320 Speaker 1: just doesn't make it. It doesn't make it any easier 746 00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:04,960 Speaker 1: all the time, Like you really do have to like 747 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:07,240 Speaker 1: put on your big girl panies and be like, Okay, 748 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:11,440 Speaker 1: this is not yeah, don't poop them. This isn't what 749 00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:13,239 Speaker 1: I necessarily want to be doing, but this is the 750 00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:16,360 Speaker 1: best thing for the kids, and so anyway, But I 751 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:18,600 Speaker 1: also had to find my voice in that too, because 752 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:21,640 Speaker 1: there's a lot of the other voices because there's so 753 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,120 Speaker 1: many things to juggle, and so you just have to 754 00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:26,440 Speaker 1: be able to have your say. So my advice to 755 00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:30,360 Speaker 1: Billy would be in a calm, adult manner, approached the 756 00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:33,640 Speaker 1: conversation of like, hey, this isn't working for me, and 757 00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:35,479 Speaker 1: to be able to move forward in this for me, 758 00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:38,879 Speaker 1: I need this to be communicated, like can we come 759 00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,479 Speaker 1: up with a plan of when that's going to happen? 760 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,560 Speaker 1: Like layout a plan that does not like go do 761 00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:46,160 Speaker 1: it right now, like you know, talk to him openly, 762 00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:50,040 Speaker 1: a knowledge that you recognize that it's about the kid, 763 00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:53,799 Speaker 1: because that's a very good point, and help come up, Yeah, 764 00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,560 Speaker 1: help come up with the plan. Be like I want 765 00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:59,000 Speaker 1: to love your kid too, you know, like I want 766 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,640 Speaker 1: to give him a home him where he's when he's 767 00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:03,799 Speaker 1: not with his mom. You know, like this needs to 768 00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,279 Speaker 1: feel like a home to him. And if I'm some 769 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:09,640 Speaker 1: foreign creature to him, it's never going to feel that way, right, 770 00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:14,640 Speaker 1: you know, right, Yeah, I think, yeah, kids, I mean 771 00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:17,040 Speaker 1: it's so complicated with kids. I don't even have them. 772 00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:20,359 Speaker 1: Like it's a lot. Yeah, it's I mean there's so 773 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,359 Speaker 1: much of an upside, which is what makes it all 774 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,440 Speaker 1: worth it. But um, yeah, it's a lot, especially with 775 00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:30,600 Speaker 1: I mean a baby mama and ex wife. Oh lord, 776 00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:34,520 Speaker 1: that's a lot to juggle. Um there was one more 777 00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:36,919 Speaker 1: thing was the sad part to me, because he hasn't 778 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:40,920 Speaker 1: gone to see his kid like a year. But I 779 00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:43,520 Speaker 1: want to go back to one point to like it 780 00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:46,359 Speaker 1: sounds like there are trust issues and you know, like 781 00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:48,959 Speaker 1: this is a baby mama, so I don't know like 782 00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:53,320 Speaker 1: was this child born out of you know, him cheating 783 00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:57,319 Speaker 1: on his last wife, Like there should be some there 784 00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:00,560 Speaker 1: there are details that we just don't know. But um, 785 00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:03,160 Speaker 1: you know, to me, it sounds like he is just 786 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:05,120 Speaker 1: trying to keep the peace and it doesn't sound like 787 00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:08,520 Speaker 1: he's being sketchy. But if there is that piece of 788 00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:11,680 Speaker 1: information that we don't have where he this job was 789 00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:15,160 Speaker 1: born out of cheating, then maybe she's got a point 790 00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,759 Speaker 1: where it's hard for her to really trust him. But 791 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,960 Speaker 1: then again, have the conversation be adults. And well, the 792 00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:23,440 Speaker 1: other thing I've learned is like if you are going 793 00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:26,640 Speaker 1: to marry or be in a relationship with someone who 794 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:29,640 Speaker 1: has like an X, it's in the picture in some capacity. 795 00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:31,680 Speaker 1: Like jealousy has to go out the window with that. 796 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,200 Speaker 1: Like it's just like even if because they're going to 797 00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,719 Speaker 1: have to communicate if there's kids involved, like they just 798 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:40,399 Speaker 1: are and so you just can't that, Like it's an 799 00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:42,719 Speaker 1: odd way to be in a relationship. I don't think 800 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,640 Speaker 1: if you've never done it, like or if you've never 801 00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:46,640 Speaker 1: done it, it is bizarre because you're like, wait, what 802 00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:49,840 Speaker 1: you know, Like the X is just there, which isn't 803 00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:53,839 Speaker 1: typical of a relationship, but it's workable. And I do 804 00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:56,480 Speaker 1: think it's very common with men to just be trying 805 00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:59,960 Speaker 1: to keep the peace into women because where we operate 806 00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:03,160 Speaker 1: just a little bit differently, we over communicate things, whereas 807 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:04,920 Speaker 1: guys are just like I'm just gonna handle this and 808 00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:06,799 Speaker 1: I'm gonna put this, and you know, like they just 809 00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:11,120 Speaker 1: think that they have it all figured out and instead 810 00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:13,359 Speaker 1: of communicating, they're just doing it. But they forget about 811 00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:16,480 Speaker 1: the emotion of it a lot too. Yeah, when you 812 00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:22,360 Speaker 1: when they fuck something off and the emotions follow and you. Yeah, 813 00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:25,040 Speaker 1: so I think communication is key here, and especially in 814 00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:28,080 Speaker 1: situations where there's a mixed family, like you just have 815 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:30,719 Speaker 1: to constantly be communicating, and also you have to just 816 00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:33,120 Speaker 1: kind of take yourself out of it for a second 817 00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,919 Speaker 1: and remember it's about the kids. Yea. Yeah. Anyway, good luck, Billy, 818 00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:39,200 Speaker 1: keep us posted. You guys, keep the emails coming. I'm 819 00:40:39,239 --> 00:40:41,239 Speaker 1: back into the long emails, okay, Like I mean, we 820 00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:44,000 Speaker 1: just need I mean it was, it's just it's you 821 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:47,640 Speaker 1: need the details. So sorry about my vin again, I 822 00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:51,439 Speaker 1: keep myself next time, just remind me not to drink 823 00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:52,960 Speaker 1: one of those slim Fast drinks where you read the 824 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:57,080 Speaker 1: next long emails, you're gonna make it like the first time. 825 00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:59,480 Speaker 1: You're like, well, slim Fast was going to do an 826 00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:04,759 Speaker 1: ad anymore like slim do. Maybe they should prove that it's, 827 00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,799 Speaker 1: you know, that was a one off thing some of these. 828 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:09,880 Speaker 1: Maybe that's how you get skinny drinking slim Fast ship 829 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:17,800 Speaker 1: all that time, ship Fast, Oh my god. Anyway, you guys, 830 00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:20,759 Speaker 1: keep the emails coming to at casual at velvets edge 831 00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:22,239 Speaker 1: dot com or you can slide into my d M 832 00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:25,640 Speaker 1: s at Velvet's Edge on Instagram. Chip is at chip DOORSH. 833 00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:28,440 Speaker 1: Do you want to spell it like H I P 834 00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:31,400 Speaker 1: d O R s C. That was a different cadence 835 00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:34,319 Speaker 1: than usually you're just like C H I P d 836 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:39,840 Speaker 1: O R s H. It's tough because a lot of 837 00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:44,120 Speaker 1: people hear me say F when I say S so often, 838 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:46,640 Speaker 1: like if I'm like on, like yeah, it's like d 839 00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:51,240 Speaker 1: r s as in Sam h is right chip DOORSH. 840 00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:57,319 Speaker 1: Or you can just calm frank all right. We'll be 841 00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:59,600 Speaker 1: back next week with it a new at Casual. Thank 842 00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:03,440 Speaker 1: you guys so much for listening, and always remember Casual 843 00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:06,880 Speaker 1: m