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Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome to another new episode of Couch

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Speaker 1: Talks on You Need Therapy Podcast. My name is Kat.

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Speaker 1: I am the host, and if you are unfamiliar with

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Speaker 1: what couch Talks is, it is the special bonus episode

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Speaker 1: of You Need Therapy that comes out every single Wednesday,

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Speaker 1: where I usually answer questions that listeners send into me

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Speaker 1: and you can send those to Katherine at You Need

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Speaker 1: Therapy podcast dot com. However, sometimes I just decide to

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Speaker 1: go rogue and talk about something that I think is important,

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Speaker 1: which last week was pumpkin spice lottes and it was.

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Speaker 2: So good, Thank you.

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Speaker 1: And this week we're going to talk about something a

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Speaker 1: little bit more serious than pumpkins spice lattes. But I

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Speaker 1: also brought a partner on for this one who has

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Speaker 1: been here before, I forget when it was a couple

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Speaker 1: months ago.

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Speaker 2: We have Julia, who is.

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Speaker 1: A therapist at three Quarts Therapy, and if you don't

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Speaker 1: know what that is, it is my therapy practice that

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Speaker 1: I have in Nashville. So I decided to bring Julia

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Speaker 1: on and do something a little bit different today because

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Speaker 1: September is National Suicide Prevention Month, and specifically this week

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Speaker 1: in September is National Suicide Prevention Week, and if I

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Speaker 1: know one thing about suicide, it is something that most

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Speaker 1: people would love to avoid talking about and acknowledging and

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Speaker 1: learning about.

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Speaker 2: For multiple reasons.

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Speaker 1: A lot of them are understandable, and I will self

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Speaker 1: disclose that myself in school.

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Speaker 2: I'm interested in your experienced.

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Speaker 1: Julia hated when we had to practice and learn how

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Speaker 1: to and talk about how to talk.

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Speaker 2: To clients about suicide.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to almost like crawl under the table and

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Speaker 1: avoid it because I felt so uncomfortable. And yet it's

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Speaker 1: uncomfortable because it's a scary thing. We want to keep

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Speaker 1: people safe and we want people to want to live

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Speaker 1: in this world. And at the same time, it's more

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Speaker 1: scary to avoid this topic because that is a lot

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Speaker 1: of times what perpetuates the problem versus what sometimes we

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Speaker 1: think talking about it will be the thing that perpetuates it.

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Speaker 1: So I wanted to bring Julia on because she put

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Speaker 1: out a post on her Instagram at the Self Compassion

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Speaker 1: counselor if you like to go follow her. She puts

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Speaker 1: out a lot of great content that is educational and

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Speaker 1: you are always specifically in Nashville and Tennessee, You're always

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Speaker 1: sharing events and things that are helpful, not just to

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Speaker 1: clinicians but also human beings, So I highly recommend it AnyWho.

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Speaker 1: I wanted Julia to come on and talk about the

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Speaker 1: posts she put out, but before we do that, I

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Speaker 1: would like to share something that is jaw dropping and

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Speaker 1: was to me because we know suicide's a thing, and

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Speaker 1: we know it's a problem. We know we have a crisis,

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Speaker 1: but we don't, I think, realize how.

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Speaker 2: Big this is. And it would really surprise me.

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Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but it would really surprise

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Speaker 1: me if anybody who's listening didn't know one person who

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Speaker 1: has died by suicide, who has attempted suicide, who has

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Speaker 1: had suicidal thoughts or ideation, I would be shocked if

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Speaker 1: one person didn't know anybody who would experience this.

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Speaker 3: Would you agree, definitely, and probably even more so that

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Speaker 3: we don't know or deal right with it.

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Speaker 1: Most of the people who are dealing with a lot

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Speaker 1: of that, they're not promoting that, and they're not putting

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Speaker 1: it on their Instagram highlights. They're not talking about it

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Speaker 1: a lot, which is again what part of the problem.

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Speaker 1: And I understand why somebody wouldn't want to do that,

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Speaker 1: but it is an issue that is everywhere. However, it

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Speaker 1: also is an issue that can be invisible. Yeah, there's

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Speaker 1: typical signs that we could talk about, but the reality

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Speaker 1: is there's also signs that don't match up.

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Speaker 2: With the signs that are typical. So it's confusing.

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Speaker 1: So I wanted to share a little bit of just

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Speaker 1: like general information before we get into Julia's post. I

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Speaker 1: really was shocked to find this that death by suicide

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Speaker 1: rates have increased approximately thirty six percent between two thousand

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Speaker 1: and twenty twenty one. And if that is not a

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Speaker 1: big jump to you, I don't know what would be

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Speaker 1: a big jump. It's only twenty one years and it's

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Speaker 1: almost doubled. Death by suicide was responsible for over forty

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Speaker 1: eight thousand deaths in twenty twenty one, which is one

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Speaker 1: death almost every eleven minutes.

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Speaker 2: Wow, isn't that wild?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like almost every eleven minutes. We think that this

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Speaker 1: is something that is so seldom and rare. However, I've

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Speaker 1: noticed specifically in the realm of TikTok and Instagram and

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Speaker 1: all that I have noticed more and more and more,

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Speaker 1: and I think part of this is because we are

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Speaker 1: on Instagram and TikTok more often than we used to.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like so often I'm seeing a headline

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Speaker 1: of this TikToker or this influencer or this person has

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Speaker 1: died by suicide. And there are people who have tons

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Speaker 1: of followers, sometimes millions, and put out sometimes really positive

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Speaker 1: content or look like they're having and experiencing a really

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Speaker 1: fruitful and wonderful life. So it's shocking. But I think

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Speaker 1: that we should take those shocking moments and pay attention

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Speaker 1: to them rather than being like, well, that was a

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Speaker 1: one off, like that was that seems like it was not,

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Speaker 1: But it to me seems like it's becoming more and

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Speaker 1: more of the norm versus the one rogue incident. And

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Speaker 1: I think that also speaks to the issue we're having

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Speaker 1: in connection and communication and relationships because we were so

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Speaker 1: heavily on social media these days.

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Speaker 3: Like that loneliness epidemic, yes you talked about.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so we're in a loneliness epidemic, and look at

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Speaker 1: what the outcome is that we have a crisis of

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Speaker 1: death by suicide in our country. This was also wild

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Speaker 1: to me, and twenty twenty one, death by suicide was

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Speaker 1: among the top nine leading causes of death for people

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Speaker 1: ages ten to sixty four. Okay, so you can look

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Speaker 1: at that and be like, Okay, that's not great, but

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Speaker 1: it's not as shocking. Well, it was the second leading

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Speaker 1: cause of death for people ages ten to fourteen and

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Speaker 1: twenty to thirty four.

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Speaker 2: The second That is crazy to me.

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Speaker 1: It is the second leading cause of death, and to me,

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Speaker 1: that says we need to be doing something drastic specifically

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Speaker 1: and especially with people ages.

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Speaker 2: That breaks my heart. Those are babies that's young.

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Speaker 1: So young, So ten to fourteen and twenty to thirty four.

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Speaker 1: I think we could make some assumptions about those age

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Speaker 1: groupings in why those might be harder and more difficult

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Speaker 1: ages to cope when dealing with specifically mental health issues,

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Speaker 1: specifically loneliness. But I wanted to share that with you guys,

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Speaker 1: because I want people to know that, even if you

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Speaker 1: don't know somebody who has experienced this in your head

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Speaker 1: you think you don't know, you do and you will.

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Speaker 2: So how do you think, Julie.

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Speaker 1: I want you to talk about what you posted, but

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Speaker 1: I want you to talk about how you believe we

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Speaker 1: can best support those around us who are both showing

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Speaker 1: signs and not showing signs of suicidal, ideation, intent thoughts,

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Speaker 1: any of that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So for context, what I posted about was this myth

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Speaker 3: that if we talk about suicide or ask somebody, hey,

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Speaker 3: are you having thoughts about sue side because we're maybe

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Speaker 3: noticing something or they've referenced or said something in the past,

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Speaker 3: that by asking them directly about suicide, it is gonna

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Speaker 3: place that idea into their mind and suddenly they're going

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Speaker 3: to go and do that or act on it. And

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Speaker 3: that's actually not true. It's actually the opposite that talking

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Speaker 3: directly or asking directly using the word suicide or even

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Speaker 3: the phrase kill yourself, as blunt as that sounds, is

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Speaker 3: better to do than to dance around it, because they

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Speaker 3: choose suicide, suicidal thoughts, ideation, any of it exists in

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Speaker 3: such shame, and we know that when we keep things

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Speaker 3: in the dark, shame just grows even further. And so

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Speaker 3: by asking directly about it, it's inviting that person into

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Speaker 3: conversation when maybe you're the first person who has confronted

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Speaker 3: them about it, and they've been wanting to say something

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Speaker 3: but didn't know how, and now they're invited into this conversation.

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Speaker 3: And I think sometimes we're afraid that, oh, they're going

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Speaker 3: to get mad at me, like, oh, how dare you

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Speaker 3: think that? And and maybe maybe, but I think often

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Speaker 3: we've heard people have stories that, oh, like I really

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Speaker 3: needed to talk about it, and this person let me

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Speaker 3: do that. And I think it also shows that if

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Speaker 3: we are willing to confront it or say the word

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Speaker 3: suicide directly with somebody else to check in on them,

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Speaker 3: then we are braving our own discomfort around the topic.

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Speaker 1: Well, and as you said that, I thought what would

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Speaker 1: be worse somebody getting mad at me or the opportunity

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Speaker 1: to be the light that somebody needed in a moment

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Speaker 1: of pure darkness. I would take the opportunity to do

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Speaker 1: that ten times over. Yeah, if you get mad at me, okay,

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Speaker 1: but at least I'm showing up in a way that

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Speaker 1: I could offer that. And they're also The reality with

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Speaker 1: that is if somebody is really struggling and is hoping,

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Speaker 1: whether they realize it or not, somebody sees that in

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Speaker 1: some way, or if somebody thinks this stuff is too

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Speaker 1: shameful to talk about, like we're not supposed to talk

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Speaker 1: about this. I need to deal with this myself, and

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Speaker 1: somebody opens up that window of opportunity, there might be

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Speaker 1: some initial pushback because it's scary for them and it's

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Speaker 1: uncomfortable for them, and it's like, well, I don't want

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Speaker 1: you to think that about me, because.

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Speaker 2: What does that mean?

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Speaker 1: And if they're in need of help, there's a great

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Speaker 1: opportunity that eventually they'll come back around and say that's

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Speaker 1: even though I wouldn't talk about it with you, knowing

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Speaker 1: that you.

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Speaker 2: Cared was a huge deal for me.

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Speaker 1: So even if somebody presents with anger, who knows what

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Speaker 1: else is going on that they're also too uncomfortable in

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Speaker 1: that moment to share with you because it's such a

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Speaker 1: vulnerable experience.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, And I think that's also why if somebody does

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Speaker 3: share something with you in that conversation, thank them for it,

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Speaker 3: because that honors the bravery and the courage it took

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Speaker 3: to have that person speak up about how they're feeling.

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Speaker 3: And that's a really sacred space to be in. So yeah,

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Speaker 3: thank them about it. I think to get back to

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Speaker 3: your original question, ways that we can support people in

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Speaker 3: that post, I talked about QPR, which is it stands

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Speaker 3: for question persuade refer and it's something that isn't just

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Speaker 3: for clinicians or mental health professionals. It's I know schools

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Speaker 3: use it for ra training, and it's trying to just

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Speaker 3: be more widespread for people who are not mental health professionals.

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Speaker 3: And it's a simple three step process of checking in

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Speaker 3: on someone. So you question. That's the asking directly, hey,

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Speaker 3: are you thinking about suicide or having any suicidal thoughts?

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Speaker 3: And then persuading is if they're willing to talk about it,

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Speaker 3: pointing them in the direction of hope and saying, hey,

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Speaker 3: I know that there's therapists in the area that could

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Speaker 3: be really helpfull, or I've heard about this text line

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Speaker 3: nine eight eight or whatever that you can text for help, Like,

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Speaker 3: do you think maybe you could do that and take

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Speaker 3: that step because I know there's help out there. So

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Speaker 3: that's the persuading part. And then the referring is the

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Speaker 3: actual concrete you know, resources like the nine eight eight

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Speaker 3: number or yeah, even just knowing some therapists in the area,

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Speaker 3: so referring them to those resources to give them concrete steps.

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Speaker 1: I will also add that something that is super helpful,

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Speaker 1: especially if you're not with the person or the person

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Speaker 1: isn't communicating with you. Let's say you texted them and

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Speaker 1: they're not answering or they sent you a message on

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Speaker 1: Instagram and then they're not responding and you are worried.

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Speaker 1: You can also call a crisis hotline or even nine

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Speaker 1: one one in your area to ask for a welfare

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Speaker 1: check on somebody and they will send somebody to wherever

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Speaker 1: you believe that person is and do a mental health

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Speaker 1: check welfare check on them. Which, yeah, same thing can happen.

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Speaker 1: You can get angry or they can get angry. And

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Speaker 1: I'd rather have somebody angry at me and have to

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Speaker 1: sit with that discomfort then the guilt of not listening.

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Speaker 2: To my gut and just making sure. Absolutely, So go

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Speaker 2: follow Julia.

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Speaker 1: You can look at that post. You also put a resource.

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Speaker 1: See you can have resources that you share. There's a training.

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Speaker 1: When is that training already passed?

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Speaker 3: It's gonna be Wednesday, so the day this comes out.

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Speaker 2: Oh so today, there's a training in Franklin.

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Speaker 3: But you can that's local to Franklin. You can go

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Speaker 3: on the QPR website. I think it's like QPR Institute

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Speaker 3: to do an online course or look up another in

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Speaker 3: person training coming up. So there's ways to still get

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Speaker 3: trained and get the resource.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know what, as I'm sitting here, I'm thinking,

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Speaker 1: if anybody's listening and they have experienced feelings or thoughts

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Speaker 1: of suicide, and they had somebody reach out, or they

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Speaker 1: had somebody ask them directly, whether it was a friend,

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Speaker 1: a therapist, or a random person at a grocery store,

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Speaker 1: if you feel comfortable enough, I would love to hear

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Speaker 1: some of those stories and be able to share them

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Speaker 1: with people, because I do think that the fear and

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Speaker 1: the discomfort of talking about it is so.

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Speaker 2: Big, and I want more.

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Speaker 1: I want to be able to talk about stories and

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Speaker 1: give people stories about how it actually is so helpful.

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Speaker 1: Connection and talking to other humans and relationships is what

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Speaker 1: I would assume to be probably the number one biggest

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Speaker 1: deterrent from this, and so we need some stories source

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Speaker 1: of hope to encourage us to reach out to people

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Speaker 1: when we even get a glimpse of it. You don't

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Speaker 1: have to be sure. That's the whole reason why we're

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Speaker 1: asking a question. Any final thoughts from.

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Speaker 3: You, Yeah, that suicide is preventable, but it takes all

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Speaker 3: of us. So this is your encouragement to learn about

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Speaker 3: it and go keep yard trained.

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Speaker 2: Amen.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, we will actually have Julia back with us

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Speaker 1: next week to talk about something I think it is about.

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Speaker 1: I don't think we've talked about it yet. If we have,

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Speaker 1: it's been a long time. I want to have a

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Speaker 1: conversation with her, and I think I'm going to have Josie,

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Speaker 1: another one of the therapists from Three Courts, on to

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Speaker 1: talk about their first experiences with therapy and what's that like,

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Speaker 1: both as a clinician and a client, because the fear

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Speaker 1: of the unknown is often what keeps us from doing

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Speaker 1: the things that we need to do and we want

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Speaker 1: to do, maybe sometimes like checking in with a friend

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Speaker 1: about their suicidal thoughts and ideation, but in this case,

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Speaker 1: the fear of the unknown being what is therapy going

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Speaker 1: to be? Like?

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Speaker 2: Am I going to like it? Is it gonna be hard?

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Speaker 2: What happens if I don't like it? All of that?

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Speaker 1: Because if you have anxiety, guess what, it's going to

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Speaker 1: be really hard for you to jump into a therapy

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Speaker 1: practice that you don't have any idea about it, because

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Speaker 1: it's going to bring up anxiety. I've been there, right,

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Speaker 1: I'm there often, So look out for that episode will

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Speaker 1: be Monday, and until then, I hope you guys have

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Speaker 1: the day you need to have and we will put

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Speaker 1: up some resources and the show notes for you if

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Speaker 1: you would like to learn more about QPR or just

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Speaker 1: we'll put a link to the suicide hotline, just some

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Speaker 1: information about that so you can continue to learn and

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Speaker 1: be in the note until then. Goodbye bye