1
00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:04,000
Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,920
Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

3
00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:11,840
Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to stefarfm dot com and

4
00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:15,680
Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. Okay, we could be reading your

5
00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:18,239
Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're gonna read

6
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:20,640
Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, and you never know

7
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:24,239
Speaker 1: it could be yours, right yours. Buckle up and hold

8
00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:25,880
Speaker 1: on tight. We got it for you. Here it is

9
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:31,120
Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subjects Ain't no sunshine when

10
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:35,559
Speaker 1: She's gone. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a fifty eight year

11
00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:39,360
Speaker 1: old pastor and I'm single. My wife of twenty five

12
00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:42,239
Speaker 1: years cheated on me in my own house, so it

13
00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,680
Speaker 1: was a major embarrassment to me and my church. We

14
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,240
Speaker 1: try to work it out, but after a few months

15
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,320
Speaker 1: of another pastor counseling us, she let it be known

16
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,440
Speaker 1: that she was not interested in staying with me. It

17
00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:57,560
Speaker 1: was a double whammy because she also left town right

18
00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:00,560
Speaker 1: after she told me she didn't want me. My life

19
00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:03,280
Speaker 1: is at a standstill because she doesn't want a divorce.

20
00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,520
Speaker 1: Sometimes when I call her, she'll talk to me like

21
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,880
Speaker 1: she still loves me. Other times she ignores my calls

22
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:13,160
Speaker 1: and she will text me that she can't talk right now.

23
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,280
Speaker 1: I think she is going through something and just needs

24
00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:19,000
Speaker 1: time away from me to get her life back on track.

25
00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:22,959
Speaker 1: My pastor friend that counseled us as advised me to

26
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,000
Speaker 1: start the divorce process and move on with my life.

27
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:29,240
Speaker 1: But I'm holding out hope that she returns to me.

28
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,520
Speaker 1: My eighty two year old father's favorite song is ain't

29
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:35,680
Speaker 1: no sunshine when she's gone, and that is how I

30
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:39,200
Speaker 1: feel every day. My parents have been married for close

31
00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,200
Speaker 1: to sixty years, and I want that same type of love.

32
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,520
Speaker 1: If my wife needs a little time, that's just fine.

33
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,280
Speaker 1: God can fix her heart, and I do believe that

34
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:51,280
Speaker 1: she will come back to me. Some say I'm foolish,

35
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,760
Speaker 1: but I say I am optimistic. Some say I shouldn't

36
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:56,880
Speaker 1: take her back after she has done who knows what

37
00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:00,880
Speaker 1: with other men, but I'm all for forgiveness and redemption.

38
00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,160
Speaker 1: I have dealt with the shame and I still am

39
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,960
Speaker 1: able to face my congregation. I often hear them laughing

40
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,280
Speaker 1: and teasing me behind my back, but I'm telling you,

41
00:02:11,639 --> 00:02:15,000
Speaker 1: there ain't no sunshine when she's gone. I need your

42
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:18,080
Speaker 1: honest advice on this one. Am I holding out hope

43
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:23,160
Speaker 1: for a woman that won't ever come back to me? Well,

44
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:27,040
Speaker 1: you're a pastor and a god fearing man of faith,

45
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,960
Speaker 1: so I cannot in good faith tell you there's not

46
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:35,160
Speaker 1: a chance that she'll come back to you, because I

47
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,600
Speaker 1: truly believe that God can perform miracles in the most

48
00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:42,839
Speaker 1: unbelievable situation, and this is one of those situations. This

49
00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:48,040
Speaker 1: is unbelievable. Amen. Amen. Normally I would tell you to

50
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,720
Speaker 1: watch what she does, not what she says. She's already

51
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:54,359
Speaker 1: moved on, moved away. She's playing with you, toying with you.

52
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,359
Speaker 1: You said that in the letter. I would say, you're

53
00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,600
Speaker 1: wasting your time and you need to let her go.

54
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,720
Speaker 1: You should let her go because she's certainly no longer

55
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:04,720
Speaker 1: interested in being married to you. She's cheated on you,

56
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:08,239
Speaker 1: she's lied, she's humiliated you in front of your church members,

57
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,240
Speaker 1: and she keeps playing with you, like you said, and

58
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:17,399
Speaker 1: you need to move on, you do. But even with

59
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:20,080
Speaker 1: all of that, you still love her and you want

60
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:23,200
Speaker 1: her back. You believe that God will make a way.

61
00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:26,760
Speaker 1: So who am I to argue with you and your faith.

62
00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:30,400
Speaker 1: I'm believing God for seemingly impossible things myself right now,

63
00:03:30,639 --> 00:03:34,239
Speaker 1: and only God knows how those things will end up. So,

64
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,760
Speaker 1: as the man of God you are, I say, keep

65
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:39,840
Speaker 1: being faithful, because He truly can turn things around in

66
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:43,000
Speaker 1: your favor. I've seen it happen. I'm sure you have to.

67
00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:46,440
Speaker 1: I'm sure you have too. This is between you and God.

68
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,760
Speaker 1: He can change your wife's heart. He can, he can

69
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,000
Speaker 1: do it, he can do everything, he can do whatever, anything.

70
00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:56,080
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna be with you. I'm gonna believe with you. Okay,

71
00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:01,600
Speaker 1: look to him, Steve. Yeah, well that's Sharley's else. I

72
00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:06,200
Speaker 1: knew you were gonna say that. Yeah, I'm back now. Well, Pastor,

73
00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:10,440
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna put it to you like this. Now.

74
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:13,680
Speaker 1: You may be a fifty eight year old pastor, but

75
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:18,400
Speaker 1: you rode in on this show. Your letter is to

76
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:23,200
Speaker 1: the Strawberry letter now Shirley's advice. You can follow it

77
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:28,680
Speaker 1: if you want to. My answer completely different. Ain't no

78
00:04:28,839 --> 00:04:32,200
Speaker 1: sunshine when she's gone? Well, hell, what was it doing

79
00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:37,039
Speaker 1: when she was there? See you know y'all kill me, y'all? Okay, Pastor,

80
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,600
Speaker 1: here we go. Now, you fifty eight. Obviously I hadn't

81
00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,599
Speaker 1: been in some situations. You ain't. I'm sixty five, you

82
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:46,680
Speaker 1: fifty eight. You're pastor, I ain't. But look a here,

83
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:50,600
Speaker 1: though I'm single, you fifty eight year old pastor single,

84
00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,680
Speaker 1: Your wife of twenty five years cheated on me in

85
00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:58,680
Speaker 1: my own house. What so now? Based on that line,

86
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:05,560
Speaker 1: what is the rest of the It's letter full? I'm confused, bro.

87
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,359
Speaker 1: I love to talk to you as a pastor, but

88
00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:13,279
Speaker 1: you didn't write the letter as a pastor. You wrote

89
00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:16,400
Speaker 1: the letter just as a regular dude man, as we

90
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:20,479
Speaker 1: all are. Because when you're not pastoring the rest of

91
00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:25,440
Speaker 1: the time, you one of us man cheated on you

92
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,080
Speaker 1: in your own house. It was a major embarrassment to

93
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,800
Speaker 1: me and my church. How to church find out about it?

94
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:36,880
Speaker 1: Who told that? See this, y'all just gotta be a

95
00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:42,200
Speaker 1: little church man. I just walked in Praise Lord Saints.

96
00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:47,200
Speaker 1: Last night was Saturday. I walked in the house last

97
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,160
Speaker 1: night and my wife was in there with Deacon Roosevelt.

98
00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:55,719
Speaker 1: I just wanted y'all to know what happened. And God

99
00:05:55,880 --> 00:06:00,680
Speaker 1: is good. Well, God is good, but she ain't. We

100
00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:03,320
Speaker 1: tried to work it out, but after a few months

101
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,279
Speaker 1: of another past accounting us, she let it be known

102
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:10,280
Speaker 1: she was not interested in staying with me. Okay, cool bye.

103
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,239
Speaker 1: It was a double whammy because she also left town

104
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:17,919
Speaker 1: right after she told me she didn't want me. Bye bye.

105
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:22,640
Speaker 1: Damn doc, What else you need? My life is out

106
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:28,039
Speaker 1: of standstill because she don't want a divorce. What Man,

107
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:31,239
Speaker 1: I'm confused. But when I come back, I'm not gonna

108
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:35,160
Speaker 1: be confused. Pastor, I'm sorry. My answer is not gonna

109
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:39,920
Speaker 1: be like Sherley's answer. Man, Man, here we go, all right, Steve.

110
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,960
Speaker 1: Hang on. We'll have part two of Steve's response coming

111
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,760
Speaker 1: up at twenty three minutes after the hour. The subject

112
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,560
Speaker 1: is ain't no sunshine when she's gone. We'll get back

113
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:55,960
Speaker 1: into it right after that. You're listening, all right, Come on, Steve,

114
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:59,240
Speaker 1: Let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject is, ain't no

115
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:04,080
Speaker 1: sunshine when she's gone? Well, all right, here's the subject,

116
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:07,080
Speaker 1: ain't no sunshine when she's gone? Well, if it ain't

117
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:10,000
Speaker 1: no sunshine when she's gone, how was it when she

118
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,920
Speaker 1: was there? Well, let's get into the letter to find out.

119
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,040
Speaker 1: I'm a forty eight fifty eight year old past and

120
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:19,000
Speaker 1: i'm single. My wife of twenty five years cheated on

121
00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:25,440
Speaker 1: me in my own house. What is the rest of

122
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:32,960
Speaker 1: this letter for this right there the end? My wife

123
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:36,520
Speaker 1: of twenty five years, that that's why you single? I'm single?

124
00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:38,920
Speaker 1: Now you twenty five years? You cheat on me in

125
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:43,920
Speaker 1: my own house. Where's the police report? How is that

126
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:49,640
Speaker 1: not attached to the damn letter? Because the dude that

127
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:53,800
Speaker 1: come into my house all pardoner, I got some fu hell,

128
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:59,200
Speaker 1: I got something fu heil. I won't be the woman,

129
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,119
Speaker 1: but I'll tell you what. I'm gonna stump you dog

130
00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:05,800
Speaker 1: for coming up in my house, though not for being

131
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,119
Speaker 1: with my wife. For coming up in my house thinking

132
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,720
Speaker 1: I'm that punk ass dude. You could walk through with

133
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:14,560
Speaker 1: that men, So that's what I'm talking about. She out

134
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,800
Speaker 1: though I don't care nothing about that. It was a

135
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:19,160
Speaker 1: major embarrassment to me in my church. We tried to

136
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:21,640
Speaker 1: work it out, but after a few months of another

137
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:23,800
Speaker 1: passive counselor, she let it be known she was not

138
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,760
Speaker 1: interested in staying with me. Okay, it was a double

139
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,360
Speaker 1: woman because she also left town right after that. She

140
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:33,559
Speaker 1: told me she didn't want me. Okay, okay, dog, what

141
00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:37,640
Speaker 1: else you need? My life is at a standstill because

142
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:40,320
Speaker 1: she don't want a divorce. But y'all to you single

143
00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:45,280
Speaker 1: though your life ain't ain't no standstill. Sometimes when I

144
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,760
Speaker 1: call it, she'll talk to me like she still loved me.

145
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,959
Speaker 1: Other Times she ignores my call and she would text

146
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,959
Speaker 1: me that she can't talk right now. Why you think

147
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:58,800
Speaker 1: that is passing? Huh? You text your wife and she

148
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,880
Speaker 1: tells you she can't talk right now, y'all? Ain't she

149
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:06,640
Speaker 1: ain't take your kids with her? What's she doing? Man?

150
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:12,200
Speaker 1: Come on? I think she's going through something and just

151
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,720
Speaker 1: needs some time away from me to get her life

152
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,720
Speaker 1: back on track. She took the time away. She didn't move,

153
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,920
Speaker 1: she left town. She told you and the pastor she

154
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:25,120
Speaker 1: don't want you. Dog? What is What is you analyzing

155
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:30,560
Speaker 1: it for? Yeah? Dog, going through something. She just needs

156
00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:33,600
Speaker 1: some time away. She didn't took some time. My pastor,

157
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:36,280
Speaker 1: friend and counsel us advised me to start the divorce

158
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:39,160
Speaker 1: process and move on with my life. But I'm holding

159
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:42,840
Speaker 1: out hope that she returns to me. For what what

160
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:46,360
Speaker 1: you want her back for? Lady to your father's favorite song,

161
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:50,960
Speaker 1: is ain't no sunshine? When she's gone? Do your favorite

162
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,000
Speaker 1: song on to be? But what's the weather like when

163
00:09:53,040 --> 00:10:00,600
Speaker 1: she's home? Ain't no sunshine when she's gone. Your song

164
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:05,800
Speaker 1: ought to be was the weather like when she's home. See,

165
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,520
Speaker 1: And that's how I feel every day. My parents have

166
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:12,559
Speaker 1: been married for close to sixty years. My parents have

167
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:15,240
Speaker 1: been married close to sixty years, and I want that

168
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,880
Speaker 1: same type of love. You don't have that type of love.

169
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,720
Speaker 1: Your dad ain't walked in the house and saw your

170
00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:24,480
Speaker 1: mama sleeping with somebody else in their house. I got

171
00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:26,200
Speaker 1: you want that type of love, but you don't have

172
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,800
Speaker 1: that type. Man. If my wife needs a little time,

173
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:33,040
Speaker 1: that's just fine. God can fix her heart, and I

174
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,600
Speaker 1: do believe she will come back to me. God can

175
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,600
Speaker 1: fix her heart, and she want a heart fix. She

176
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:43,400
Speaker 1: ain't asking for forgiveness. She out there with another dude. Man.

177
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:49,600
Speaker 1: Some say I'm foolish a damn food, but I say

178
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:55,079
Speaker 1: I'm often missing you, stupid as Some say I shouldn't

179
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:59,240
Speaker 1: take her back. She don't want you back. Doc, where

180
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:04,080
Speaker 1: are you going with this? Some say I I shouldn't

181
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:09,160
Speaker 1: take her back, she don't want you back after what

182
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,920
Speaker 1: she's done with who knows what with other men. But

183
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:17,520
Speaker 1: I'm all for forgiveness and redemption. Dogs. This ain't your congregation.

184
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:23,760
Speaker 1: This your wife, pimp, This is your wife. Kind man,

185
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:28,199
Speaker 1: what's wrong with you? What scriptures you read? I have

186
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,360
Speaker 1: dealt with the shame, and I'm still able to face

187
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:34,920
Speaker 1: my congregation. Often hear them laughing and teasing me behind

188
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:38,560
Speaker 1: my back. Everybody punking you, dog, your wife punking you.

189
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,000
Speaker 1: The congregation jokes. Oh, I'll be up in the pool pit.

190
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,440
Speaker 1: Do we're not having sermon this morning? Well, I'm doing

191
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:47,440
Speaker 1: a set. I'll be at that point that people talking

192
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:51,480
Speaker 1: about outfitch dresses, haircuts. I'll be doing everything cause that

193
00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:53,560
Speaker 1: you drove up in. You ain't fit to be laughing

194
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:56,280
Speaker 1: teasing me behind my back. But I'm telling you, there

195
00:11:56,320 --> 00:12:01,960
Speaker 1: ain't no sunshine when she's gone. But it was a hurricane,

196
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:07,640
Speaker 1: tornado and thunderstorm when she home. Though, I need your

197
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,840
Speaker 1: honored advice on this one. Am I holding out hope

198
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,360
Speaker 1: for a woman that won't ever come back to me?

199
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:17,240
Speaker 1: She don't want you, dog, she'd have told you two

200
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,679
Speaker 1: three times. Now. She get out there and find out

201
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:22,440
Speaker 1: this world ain't what she thinking? Is she gonna come

202
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:25,320
Speaker 1: crawling back and you, like an old food, gonna take

203
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:28,800
Speaker 1: her back? Woman that slept with somebody in your house?

204
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:34,760
Speaker 1: Oh man, look, I ain't saying you can't forgive a

205
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:37,400
Speaker 1: woman for cheating. That's not what I'm not saying. I'm

206
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,960
Speaker 1: not forgiving you for sleeping in my own house, though

207
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:43,280
Speaker 1: we're not letting that go. You just disrespectful to me

208
00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,160
Speaker 1: all the way round. But you're just punking me all

209
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,680
Speaker 1: the way round the board. Now, I'm sorry, past, that's

210
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:52,120
Speaker 1: my answer wrote if you. I'm not the other path

211
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:57,720
Speaker 1: to this counseling, all right. Steve coming on Today's Strawberry

212
00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:01,840
Speaker 1: Letter and Steve harbism on Instagram and Facebook, and check

213
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:05,240
Speaker 1: out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now. Coming up

214
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,760
Speaker 1: at forty six minutes after the hour, we'll hear from

215
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:11,480
Speaker 1: Junior with Sports Talk that's coming up right after this.

216
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:15,280
Speaker 1: You're listening to this Dave Harvey Morning Show