Speaker 1: The Nikki Glaser Podcast. Glaser, here's Nikki. Hello here, I
Speaker 1: am welcome to the show. It's a thank you guys
Speaker 1: to podcast. New week of podon starting right now, joining me,
Speaker 1: Brian and Noah. No one's in studio with me. No wait,
Speaker 1: Noah's not. No one's in the studio with me. Noah
Speaker 1: is on Zoom with me or whatever program we use.
Speaker 2: How's it going, guys?
Speaker 3: Good.
Speaker 4: I've been walking around town going can you believe that
Speaker 4: Nikki won two Emmys? It's incredible that you won those
Speaker 4: and that speech was amazing and it's just amazing.
Speaker 1: It's a really good speech song two Like you mean,
Speaker 1: we we won for editing and for.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you won for editing. Yeah, yeah, I hope let's
Speaker 3: just say this. I don't mean to we're nominated.
Speaker 2: We got we also were nominated.
Speaker 1: Not only did we win for the Best Special pre Recorded,
Speaker 1: but we won for editing as well, where we were
Speaker 1: nominated and won for editing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right. The editing was good. Is Guy Harding
Speaker 3: the editor?
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, Wow, he's amazing. I love him so much.
Speaker 1: He edited Ara's tour.
Speaker 3: WHOA, that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1: I know it was awesome.
Speaker 3: I mean that lineup was stacked.
Speaker 4: You had the Oscars lighting that, you had the director
Speaker 4: of the Super Bowl, and you had the the.
Speaker 2: Guy that lit.
Speaker 1: We were watching the documentary We Are the World, like
Speaker 1: how that.
Speaker 2: Got made that song?
Speaker 3: You know? Yeah, And.
Speaker 1: Bob Richardson, who did my lighting for my special Someday
Speaker 1: You'll Die, was.
Speaker 2: In that documentary lit that We Are the World.
Speaker 1: Like music video.
Speaker 3: Wow. He was the one that was like.
Speaker 1: Setting up the lights when Michael Jackson was like practicing
Speaker 1: alone before everyone got there, and he's like in the
Speaker 1: documentary we were watching it, we go, oh my god,
Speaker 1: that's Bob, Like it's incredible. And Bob told me I
Speaker 1: had really good skin that day. That really made me
Speaker 1: feel good. And he was like, you have really good
Speaker 1: He was like, I'm not just saying that you have
Speaker 1: great skin, And I was like, no one's ever you know,
Speaker 1: and like you just don't get a type of compliment
Speaker 1: that you hear other people get. Like I've said before
Speaker 1: in the show that no one's ever told me I
Speaker 1: smell good and that stands to be true. And people
Speaker 1: have said it since just to like say it because
Speaker 1: they know I've never heard it, but I've never sincerely
Speaker 1: gotten it my mom, I think said it last week,
Speaker 1: but she goes, that's your shampoo, right, like she like,
Speaker 1: it's never just like what my body smells like. But
Speaker 1: no one's ever been like, you have great skin. It's
Speaker 1: never been like something that someone has said to me
Speaker 1: apropos of nothing. It's always been like, you have good
Speaker 1: skin too. After I've complimented there, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Oh god, what do you think about that?
Speaker 4: So sometimes I'll compliment somebody, or someone will compliment me,
Speaker 4: and then I feel compelled to say something nice back
Speaker 4: to them. And then this new thing's happening, I think
Speaker 4: post Internet, where people go, don't just compliment me back,
Speaker 4: just take my out, just like accept my compliment.
Speaker 1: So it's like if people getting mad at you when
Speaker 1: they compliment you and you say that's so nice, and
Speaker 1: they go, it's not nice. It's true. They get like
Speaker 1: mad at eve.
Speaker 2: They go, I'm not being nice. It's just like, well,
Speaker 2: now you're not.
Speaker 1: God, sorry, I don't know what to say. What you
Speaker 1: If you reject a compliment, you are in the wrong
Speaker 1: because you can't accept things. And if you say thank you,
Speaker 1: they go, no, I'm serious, and you go, I don't
Speaker 1: know how to make you shut up.
Speaker 2: I'm uncomfortable with this. I'm accepting it.
Speaker 1: And then if you go, that's so nice to go,
Speaker 1: I'm not being nice and it's like you but it is.
Speaker 1: But I've said this before. It's nice to say it.
Speaker 1: You didn't have to say it, and that is nice. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know you're not lying. I'm not accusing you of lying.
Speaker 3: They want to extra prove that what they said was
Speaker 3: to me.
Speaker 1: I get it. I've done it to be four two.
Speaker 1: You know, how do you do it? How do you
Speaker 1: accept a compliment?
Speaker 2: You just say thank you? That means so much to me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's what I've been trying. Like, well, you.
Speaker 4: Know my famous U nine had to talk to anyone
Speaker 4: ninety two Big Secrets for Little Secrets for big success.
Speaker 3: They did you write this or did you now?
Speaker 4: This is that book that I read that taught me
Speaker 4: how to accept the compliment? Oh yeah, okay, And the
Speaker 4: answer was you compliment Uh, you compliment them for complimenting you,
Speaker 4: which really works, right, But I did a.
Speaker 3: New thing so that the compliment that from a while ago.
Speaker 4: Yes, if you say, oh, that's such a nice shirt, Brian,
Speaker 4: and then I would say well, thank you, this is
Speaker 4: my favorite shirt.
Speaker 3: Then them feel so smart.
Speaker 1: Oh, yes, that's a good one. I usually say, Like
Speaker 1: the other day, Christina Hutchinson, who's a comedian, posted about
Speaker 1: my special on her story and I wrote to her like,
Speaker 1: thank you, my god, this is so nice, and she
Speaker 1: was like, she wrote this whole really nice thing about
Speaker 1: it that really like hit me, you know, like it
Speaker 1: was just like she had watched it and like really
Speaker 1: you could tell it it it affected her, and and
Speaker 1: I just knew the time of compliments she was giving
Speaker 1: me is the kind that I give when I really
Speaker 1: mean it. And I was just like, I wanted her
Speaker 1: to feel as good as it made me feel. So
Speaker 1: I was just like, and it did make me feel
Speaker 1: good because I think she's really funny and really smart
Speaker 1: and savvy, and I just respect her opinion. And I
Speaker 1: gotta say sometimes I respect some compliments mean more from
Speaker 1: some people. Huntinson, She's cool to me, so her compliment
Speaker 1: meant more.
Speaker 2: And I just said, this.
Speaker 1: Means so much from you. You made my day. I
Speaker 1: often say you made my day, you made my week,
Speaker 1: you made my month, based on how much it means.
Speaker 1: But yeah, like if it's a it's a really good
Speaker 1: Oh my god, do you want to hear something crazy?
Speaker 1: This might have made my like six months wow. Okay.
Speaker 1: This is up there with like being being cultural, like
Speaker 1: moments where I'm like, oh my god, I'm I'm culturally
Speaker 1: relevant in a way I didn't know, up there with
Speaker 1: being a New York Times clue crossword clue, like. This
Speaker 1: is up there with that moment for me. Okay, which
Speaker 1: happened May twenty first, twenty twenty three. But this happened yesterday.
Speaker 1: Seth Herzog, who works on The Tonight Show doing warm up,
Speaker 1: he texted me and said, Catherine O'Hara just name checked.
Speaker 2: You in her interview.
Speaker 1: WHOA And first of all, Katherine O'Hara, if you don't
Speaker 1: know best in show, Shit's Creek Mom and home alone,
Speaker 1: one of the best comedic actresses of our time, of
Speaker 1: all time. Yes, I don't know this woman at all,
Speaker 1: never met her, never DMed with her. I've never even
Speaker 1: like done a shout out, and she's liked it, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like, there's been no crossover between
Speaker 1: us and I'm like, and he thinks there has. Seth
Speaker 1: is just like, oh, you guys must be friends because
Speaker 1: apparently what did he say? It's airing on Wednesday, So
Speaker 1: it's airing tonight, you guys, if you're listening to this
Speaker 1: on Wednesday. But he said that. Jimmy The Tonight Show
Speaker 1: with Jimmy Fallen, Jimmy tells this whole story about getting
Speaker 1: his sweater attached to Taylor before a show of hers. Oh,
Speaker 1: like he accidentally like, I don't know that. I guess
Speaker 1: there's his sweater got snaggled on her, and Catherine O'Hara says,
Speaker 1: that's Nicki Glazer's dream. Have just seen like a TikTok
Speaker 1: or an Instagram or something. Yeah, But that to me
Speaker 1: was because Seth goes, you guys are friends, and I go,
Speaker 1: I don't. I've never even That's how you prove that
Speaker 1: you don't know someone. I go, we never even DMed
Speaker 1: like not only are we not friends, because that's where
Speaker 1: you can be like kind of like we're friends, but
Speaker 1: DM friends or whatever. That made me feel so good.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure Jimmy doesn't even know that I'm obsessed
Speaker 1: with Taylor Swift in that way. He was probably like
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about, But that was really cool to
Speaker 1: me and made me feel like, oh, Catherine O'Hara on
Speaker 1: her own referenced me in an interview with Jimmy Fallon
Speaker 1: again apropos of nothing.
Speaker 2: I just thought that was that thing.
Speaker 4: Now you're you're a concept, you are a figure in society.
Speaker 1: Yes, I guess so you're referenceable. That's crazy, At least
Speaker 1: for this year, I am referenceable. Will it will you know?
Speaker 1: Let it in?
Speaker 3: Make you like like Bill Clinton.
Speaker 2: Letting it in?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, well it can come and go because they're the
Speaker 1: Huktua girl is not going to be We might know
Speaker 1: her name now, do you think it is.
Speaker 3: Kaylee Haylee Welch, Haylee Welch.
Speaker 1: Will you know her name? Will she have name recognition?
Speaker 1: You might know her name now, all of you might,
Speaker 1: but will she have name recognition? In a year?
Speaker 2: You might forget that name?
Speaker 1: Like it's I think we think once we know a name,
Speaker 1: will always remember it, And that's just not the case.
Speaker 1: Like I knew, you know, Devin Sawah isn't rolling off
Speaker 1: the tongue for me anymore like it was in nineteen
Speaker 1: ninety four.
Speaker 3: Katie Anthony, on the other hand, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, Lacy Peterson, Scott Peterson, Yeah, gonna get into that
Speaker 1: watch that documentary on Netflix, which I really recommend.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I'm part of the zeitgeist and uh, you know,
Speaker 2: and I'm.
Speaker 1: Saying that, but it probably made my six months because
Speaker 1: that's like a really funny, interesting I don't know it
Speaker 1: just it's a little thing, but it was just so
Speaker 1: funny to me.
Speaker 4: And then if someone complimented you and you were like,
Speaker 4: that made my minute, yeah, a low level yeah.
Speaker 2: And sometimes they do some like you know what makes
Speaker 2: my minute?
Speaker 1: When people say your dog is cute? That doesn't even
Speaker 1: thinke my minute? That makes that Maybe that actually took
Speaker 1: away from my life. Honestly, I know she's cute. Here's
Speaker 1: my new Okay, I'm gonna sound like a real bitch.
Speaker 1: Get ready to not like me.
Speaker 2: Everyone.
Speaker 1: If a girl has her headphones in, don't tell her
Speaker 1: her dog is cute. She doesn't care. She already knows.
Speaker 1: That's why she has it. Even if it wasn't cute,
Speaker 1: she would love it and think it's cute because everyone
Speaker 1: thinks their own dog is cute. So you validating that
Speaker 1: I already think my dog is cute is not what
Speaker 1: I need to hear. And if I have my headphones in,
Speaker 1: I probably can't hear you, especially if their airpod's because
Speaker 1: they block out all the noise. I can't hear fucking shit.
Speaker 1: I can't hear a fire engine. I can't hear the
Speaker 1: look my car alarm going off right outside the Starbucks
Speaker 1: that I left my dog and because my dog moved
Speaker 1: a little bit, and so the car is honking for
Speaker 1: about three minutes while I wait for my Starbucks. I'm
Speaker 1: inside the Starbucks. Everyone in the Starbucks is like, whire
Speaker 1: is this alarm? When is it gonna go off? I
Speaker 1: can't even hear it because my headphones are in. That's
Speaker 1: how much I cannot hear you. So when you talk
Speaker 1: to me, it's going to see like I'm rude. Anyone
Speaker 1: from my apartment building who is listening to this and
Speaker 1: thinks that I am rude to them. I have never
Speaker 1: ignored you. I've always just had my AirPods in and
Speaker 1: I didn't hear you unless I kind of see your
Speaker 1: mouth mood or your jaw moved out of the corner
Speaker 1: of my eye.
Speaker 2: Then I take it out and.
Speaker 1: Go huh, and then you go I didn't say anything,
Speaker 1: but most of the time you're saying my dog is cute,
Speaker 1: And I know she's cute.
Speaker 4: Yes, stop talking to w with airs? Is that the
Speaker 4: song you're listening to when you're walking your dog?
Speaker 1: It's I got to get it auto tuned.
Speaker 2: But yeah, that.
Speaker 1: Would be a hint. It's like a musical. I want
Speaker 1: to see them stand people talking to you when you
Speaker 1: have AirPods in yeah, and I know you're like, well
Speaker 1: I can't see, yes, you can.
Speaker 2: They're little white things.
Speaker 1: When I have when I stuffed toilet paper in my ear,
Speaker 1: like inside my ear, people can see it and they're like,
Speaker 1: what do you have that in your ear? Because I'm like,
Speaker 1: it's too loud in this restaurant, so I know you
Speaker 1: can see my big ass AirPods hanging out. Don't talk
Speaker 1: to me, and especially stop trying to flirt with me,
Speaker 1: like I've been getting flirted with. And I know I've
Speaker 1: complained before that I never get flirted with, but I
Speaker 1: don't like it.
Speaker 2: It started, and I don't know why.
Speaker 1: I left the house yesterday to go get or two
Speaker 1: days ago on Sunday to get Starbucks.
Speaker 2: It took for fucking ever.
Speaker 1: I was waiting in line, it's not in line, but
Speaker 1: like waiting for my mobile order, and I was very
Speaker 1: patiently waiting, and this guy came up to me and
Speaker 1: started talking to me about how my dog was cute. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And he literally asked me do I come here often?
Speaker 1: I almost laughed at me said that. And we were
Speaker 1: talking about what he does for a living, and he
Speaker 1: asked what I do for a living. I said, I'm
Speaker 1: a comedian. He said, do you perform around here? I
Speaker 1: said no? He goes, do you perform when you lived
Speaker 1: in La? Because we were talking about La? And I
Speaker 1: said yes, And I just cut to the chase and
Speaker 1: I go, I'm famous. I was just do you know?
Speaker 2: That sounds crazy?
Speaker 1: But do you know what the conversation is like if
Speaker 1: I don't just cut to the chase? If I say
Speaker 1: I'm a comedian? They go, do you perform around here?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 1: No, not really, because I live here, I usually perform.
Speaker 1: I travel on the weekends to perform. Oh, have you
Speaker 1: ever performed at the comedy store? Yep? Have you ever?
Speaker 1: I think there's a one down in uh, you know
Speaker 1: in San Diego? Yep? I perform there too. Now, Well,
Speaker 1: who do you h? Do you ever think about maybe
Speaker 1: being on TV?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I think I've been on TV before.
Speaker 1: Really, what have you done? And it's just like I'm famous.
Speaker 1: Just it just I swear to god, it's more like
Speaker 1: me being like, you're gonna find that on your own,
Speaker 1: and it's like me kind of being like I'm a
Speaker 1: little teaser and I can't wait to find out. It's
Speaker 1: it's more annoying and revolting to like string people along
Speaker 1: than to just be like I'm famous. And and I
Speaker 1: really I didn't say it loudly. I didn't say it braggadociously.
Speaker 1: It was just like I don't want to tell you
Speaker 1: all the venues I've performed at, sir, And so he goes,
Speaker 1: oh really, and I go, yeah, yeah, I'm on Netflix.
Speaker 4: And you know, Max, does he not know, especially being
Speaker 4: in Saint Louis.
Speaker 5: Business a foreign man' why yeah?
Speaker 1: You know? He was like it wasn't like he just
Speaker 1: probably doesn't go isn't really aware of American comedy at
Speaker 1: this point. But he did ask me if he was
Speaker 1: like we should keep in touch, and I didn't know
Speaker 1: what to say.
Speaker 2: I just go I have a boyfriend.
Speaker 1: And he immediately was like got it and was like
Speaker 1: okay cool, And I'm like that is so weird that, Okay,
Speaker 1: this guy starts talking to me right, and then I
Speaker 1: say I have a boyfriend, and it's completely the conversation's over,
Speaker 1: which I wanted it to be, by the way, like
Speaker 1: it was clear that's what he wanted to get at.
Speaker 1: It's so weird that that man the only reason he
Speaker 1: chatted me up was to put his penis inside me,
Speaker 1: like that was the end game, Like why are this
Speaker 1: is why sex is so fascinating to me? Is like
Speaker 1: all this bullshit that comes between us and like slobbing
Speaker 1: his knob like that is what he wanted as we're
Speaker 1: standing there, and because I said I had a boyfriend,
Speaker 1: that completely called out exactly what it was. I'm already
Speaker 1: slabbing this man's knob. I can't slap yours because we
Speaker 1: could still hang out. I'm allowed to. He said, let's
Speaker 1: just keep in touch. I'm allowed to keep in touch
Speaker 1: with men that I have a boyfriend. But because I
Speaker 1: said I have a boyfriend, we both knew we can
Speaker 1: never have sex. You can't have sex with me, And
Speaker 1: that is so weird to me that that is constantly
Speaker 1: like it's we.
Speaker 4: Were basically like, oh, well, I was trying to fuck
Speaker 4: you this all time. Yeah, I guess I should leave
Speaker 4: because I don't want anything else from you.
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about what coffeedy girl has
Speaker 1: to do. When she says I have a boyfriend, That's
Speaker 1: what she's saying is that you can't put your penis
Speaker 1: in me.
Speaker 2: And it's so interesting.
Speaker 1: If we could just cut to that, if a guy
Speaker 1: would just go up and say, hey, can I put
Speaker 1: my penis in you? And you go no, I have
Speaker 1: a boyfriend, then we wouldn't have any of this other stuff,
Speaker 1: because all of that stuff was just to get to
Speaker 1: the penis in me.
Speaker 3: A little song and dance.
Speaker 1: Do He was agree, like, are people trying to talk
Speaker 1: to you when you have headphones in? Because I know
Speaker 1: it is anti social to have headphones on, and it
Speaker 1: is by design. I don't want to socialize.
Speaker 3: I'm not someone who likes to.
Speaker 1: Talk to people about my dog being cute or their
Speaker 1: dog being cute.
Speaker 2: We both got dogs.
Speaker 1: Let's let them sit each other and we don't need
Speaker 1: to talk about it.
Speaker 4: I have an interesting situation that is not headphones related,
Speaker 4: but it is dog related.
Speaker 3: And this is from the male standpoint.
Speaker 4: I have a neighbor who's probably like h in her
Speaker 4: late twenties or something like that. A girl, and she
Speaker 4: has a dog and I have a dog, and so
Speaker 4: very often we are outside at the same time, and
Speaker 4: I make a point to not like interact with this
Speaker 4: person because I don't want her to think that I'm
Speaker 4: one of these guys that's like.
Speaker 1: Ooh, let's let our dogs meet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then oh, listen, this is cute that we
Speaker 3: are dogs. Hey do you like comedy? Have you performed
Speaker 3: the comedy store?
Speaker 4: And the problem is my dog, Jack is upset test
Speaker 4: with this dog. This dog is a mile away. He
Speaker 4: will start yipping like I've never heard these noises come out,
Speaker 4: like they come out of like the center of his soul.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, and I just want to go up
Speaker 4: to the girl and say, listen, I don't want to
Speaker 4: have sex with you.
Speaker 3: Can you just let my dog hang out with your dog?
Speaker 3: Do it?
Speaker 1: To be like?
Speaker 2: I wish we could be that honest with each other
Speaker 2: of like, I'm not.
Speaker 1: Like we but we can't say that either, even though
Speaker 1: it's the opposite of what everyone's scared of. It is
Speaker 1: literally the thing that would like make everyone feel not
Speaker 1: just not that any guy saying I don't want to
Speaker 1: fuck you does means he actually doesn't, but it would
Speaker 1: make life a little bit easier to navigate if you
Speaker 1: just knew it was a thing or not. Like the
Speaker 1: second I drop boyfriend, things can change in a conversation
Speaker 1: with a guy or the second they drop yeah starts raining.
Speaker 1: But I know what you mean. There's sometimes my dog
Speaker 1: wants to socialize and and I just don't. I don't
Speaker 1: want to, but I you know, I really like people
Speaker 1: that just let your dog sniff their dog and we
Speaker 1: don't talk. Our dogs just talk and we just kind
Speaker 1: of go okay, and then we talk through our dogs.
Speaker 1: Oh he likes see you, you know, like.
Speaker 4: Go I like the silence. I like like, oh hi,
Speaker 4: and then just let the dogs talk and then go
Speaker 4: see that's the dream.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I want to be clear, I'm not like
Speaker 1: completely anti social. I do like saying hi and nodding
Speaker 1: at people, and like I'll say, like anyone who's like
Speaker 1: working in my building, I will take out my headphones
Speaker 1: and if they want to talk to me, yes, But
Speaker 1: other people who live.
Speaker 6: In question about the guy, No, what if the conversation
Speaker 6: ended like him, you know, you said you're famous, and
Speaker 6: he goes, oh, that's so great. I'm gonna check out
Speaker 6: your work and then he goes have a nice day.
Speaker 6: Would any of your ego like hurt a little bit
Speaker 6: or something if he didn't appear to be hitting on you.
Speaker 2: No, that would have been great.
Speaker 1: That would have been great. I wouldn't mind that at all,
Speaker 1: Like if someone's just like chatty, because I was just
Speaker 1: sitting there and like I didn't mind chatting with him.
Speaker 1: He was talking about La and about how Saint Louis,
Speaker 1: like it was good during COVID because New York was
Speaker 1: so oh no, he lived in New York, he said
Speaker 1: during COVID.
Speaker 2: Saint Louis.
Speaker 1: He moved here during COVID and it was like great
Speaker 1: because we didn't care about masks and everyone was running
Speaker 1: around and it was like he was escaping New York,
Speaker 1: which felt like really lonely. But now that COVID has lifted,
Speaker 1: New York is like he misses. Now Saint Louis feels
Speaker 1: really lonely because compared to New York it is and
Speaker 1: there's like one block that I live on that is
Speaker 1: similar to Manhattan. He's like, but this is the only
Speaker 1: played part of Saint Louis I've found that makes me
Speaker 1: feel even similar to Manhattan.
Speaker 2: One block and so that was an interesting.
Speaker 1: Conversation, which I fed happy to have, But I yeah,
Speaker 1: I just like, how no, yeah, not to.
Speaker 3: Me, not to at least a hot guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean no, I mean I used to take
Speaker 1: offence when guys that weren't hot would hit on me
Speaker 1: and be like, God is this he ye be offensive,
Speaker 1: especially when hot guys aren't hitting on you. But then
Speaker 1: it's just like, you know, yeah, it's still offensive when
Speaker 1: I kind of run it through, It's still like, shouldn't
Speaker 1: you think I'm out of your leg?
Speaker 2: But I'm not, Like, I know the way I dressed.
Speaker 1: I came back home and to see Chris and I
Speaker 1: go it, just do do I look provocative? Because I
Speaker 1: just got hit on twice? And he was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you kind of look sporty and fun, and so I
Speaker 1: guess he was kind of like yeah, And I'm like,
Speaker 1: you do you even want to stick your dick to me?
Speaker 5: All Right?
Speaker 1: We gotta go to break. We'll be right back up
Speaker 1: to this. We're back, can you sorry?
Speaker 4: I was going to ask you about this New York
Speaker 4: Times piece? Was it New York Times, La Times? La Times?
Speaker 4: They did a profile on you. Yeah, that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1: I didn't read it because I don't anything that is
Speaker 1: written about me. Whether I read the title and that
Speaker 1: was nice. Why Nikki Glazer is the something the.
Speaker 3: Biggest comedian right now or something like that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, if they say why, I didn't, I didn't see
Speaker 4: did they answer the question?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I have the same question, I go, why what is
Speaker 1: happening right now? I yeah, it was really nice. I
Speaker 1: didn't even I do so many interviews that I don't
Speaker 1: remember which are which some I remember that one I
Speaker 1: do remember because it was a really good conversation. But yeah,
Speaker 1: it was Uh. I didn't know that that was going
Speaker 1: to be the headline. And of course my PR people
Speaker 1: sent an email being like, look at this headline. We
Speaker 1: got like they're not pushing forward, Like you just don't
Speaker 1: really know what's going to happen. That's why there's so
Speaker 1: many times interviews go wrong because they come out and
Speaker 1: it's like a hit piece, and you had the person
Speaker 1: would never agree to a hit piece. It just comes
Speaker 1: out like they don't look good. So, yeah, it was
Speaker 1: really nice, and you know, it's just it'll it's when
Speaker 1: whenever you're the girl, it's not gonna last long. Look
Speaker 1: at miss Blake Lively, like you're gonna get taken down
Speaker 1: at some point, Like people are gonna come for your
Speaker 1: throat and you're gonna get people are gonna start going
Speaker 1: truly why But right now I'm on the rise. It
Speaker 1: feels good. I'm gonna accept it. I'm gonna enjoy the ride.
Speaker 1: But the rollercoaster is going to go down again, and
Speaker 1: it's gonna go up again. And like even Blake Lively,
Speaker 1: like for a second, I don't know if you've been
Speaker 1: following all the stuff that's been going on with her,
Speaker 1: but there's like a backlash for her. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: get into it because I don't want to give my
Speaker 1: opinion on it, except for the fact that you know
Speaker 1: whether no matter how you feel about it, whether your
Speaker 1: team Blake or your anti Blake, don't worry about miss Blake, okay,
Speaker 1: Because whenever a celebrity as big as she is and
Speaker 1: who's been her long around for as long as she is,
Speaker 1: it's it's time they decided it was time to take
Speaker 1: her down. So she's getting taken down. Everyone's gonna turn
Speaker 1: on her, and then guess what's gonna happen. What always
Speaker 1: happens when someone has a backlash that does not involve
Speaker 1: sexual assault, that does not involve and even when a
Speaker 1: divose sexual assault, let me just say, there's a little
Speaker 1: bit of a comeback that you can you can enjoy.
Speaker 2: I think even Kevin Spacey had like a comeback.
Speaker 1: But there will be, there is a there a backlash
Speaker 1: to the backlash is coming. Blake will be just fine.
Speaker 1: She might have to go away for a year, so
Speaker 1: be it. That's fine, a year, maybe two. But then
Speaker 1: what are we gonna see. We're gonna see her on
Speaker 1: the cover of something with her arm like this kind
Speaker 1: of hidden behind her arm, and she's gonna look stunning,
Speaker 1: and it's gonna be like she's ready to emerge or
Speaker 1: like like, and it'll say the sub headlines, she went,
Speaker 1: she went away for two years, but now is she
Speaker 1: ready to come? Are we ready for her to come back?
Speaker 1: And the answer will be yes, because we love redemption.
Speaker 1: So I was starting to feel bad for Blake Lively
Speaker 1: because I know that everyone's like, she should feel bad
Speaker 1: she did this, and that she doesn't.
Speaker 2: You know, she did not do those things.
Speaker 1: Knowing that this she she loves her career and now
Speaker 1: everyone is piling on her. It's gotta feel awful that
Speaker 1: everyone's turning on her and she can't kind of catch
Speaker 1: any break from any angle. No matter what side you're on,
Speaker 1: you got to admit that she didn't really she didn't
Speaker 1: hurt she didn't kill anyone. Guys, she didn't really hurt anyone.
Speaker 1: I think the biggest indictment against her is that she
Speaker 1: might be a mean girl, like unless she's like bullied
Speaker 1: someone to death, like it's not really punishable, but like
Speaker 1: we shouldn't take she shouldn't lose everything. Am I annoyed
Speaker 1: at people wanting to be billionaires? You know? I am?
Speaker 1: Do I want people to just back off and stick
Speaker 1: to what they do? Surely I do? Do I not
Speaker 1: like girls who seem kind of mean? Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: like it either. Have I seen kind of mean before?
Speaker 1: I'm sure in different context. I don't know what's going
Speaker 1: on with her. What I do know she's gonna be
Speaker 1: just fine.
Speaker 2: She's gonna be fine.
Speaker 1: We're all gonna play this video.
Speaker 2: Let's clip this right now.
Speaker 1: For two years from now, I'm talking November twenty twenty six,
Speaker 1: Blake Lively will be on the cover of things and
Speaker 1: there will be like a She'll be kind of hidden
Speaker 1: behind it, emerging from her arms, wrapped up in her arms,
Speaker 1: kind of Tortured Poets style, the cover of Tortured Poets,
Speaker 1: and her eye will be peeking out from her elbow
Speaker 1: and it'll be like an eye that's kind of sorry,
Speaker 1: but like I'm ready, and everyone will fucking jerk themselves
Speaker 1: off over it, because we love to welcome someone back
Speaker 1: in and to forgive someone, and I think that's a
Speaker 1: beautiful thing. But I think she'll be okay. But I
Speaker 1: do have empathy for.
Speaker 4: Her rings as it does to destroy someone on top.
Speaker 1: I almost like in the same way that I can't
Speaker 1: enjoy being on the top because I just know it's
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna feel down again. Uh, I don't even
Speaker 1: I used to enjoy wind stars would get taken down,
Speaker 1: Like yeah, she's so pretty.
Speaker 2: And perfect, fuck her.
Speaker 1: I can't wait for her to get dismantled, like the
Speaker 1: way I felt about you know, I used to feel
Speaker 1: about j Loo, Like yeah, the tides are turning j Low.
Speaker 1: No one likes you anymore, Blake Lively. Sorry, You've been
Speaker 1: a perfect gossip girl your whole life. Now you're a
Speaker 1: mean girl. We all know it. I don't even I
Speaker 1: can't even bask in the enjoyment of it because I
Speaker 1: see two years from now when we're all when I'm
Speaker 1: jealous of her again because she's the girl like, don't
Speaker 1: worry guys, everyone, it all comes around. It's cyclical.
Speaker 4: Well you know who's been piles on and it seems
Speaker 4: like it's never let up.
Speaker 3: Is Ellen? I feel like, is Ellen comeback?
Speaker 1: Her new her new specials coming out this month and
Speaker 1: the press, Yeah, and she addresses not being.
Speaker 3: Nice cosby never made a comeback?
Speaker 1: Did you hear Neil Brennan's thing about Uh, that's why
Speaker 1: I said sexual assault, right, Okay, okay, I.
Speaker 4: Gotta think of an example of a non sexual assault
Speaker 4: person who never made a comeback.
Speaker 1: That's who has It has seems coming into my five
Speaker 1: years out because it takes about five sometimes five years
Speaker 1: for someone to happen to come back.
Speaker 4: There's a lot of names going in my head right now,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, oh wait, that was a sexual assault section.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, But what I wanted to say about Ellen
Speaker 1: Neil Brennan had a joke and a special and he goes,
Speaker 1: you know, you know, you know, people like hold comedians
Speaker 1: to these standards. He's like people are like. He was
Speaker 1: talking about his contractor came over. He hired this guy
Speaker 1: off Craigslist to do some work around his house. And
Speaker 1: the guy was like saw that he was famous or
Speaker 1: whatever because Neil told him And and I'm making a
Speaker 1: joke referencing what I just said. I guess this clip
Speaker 1: is pulled out of context. And Neil probably let him
Speaker 1: know anyway, because he's got Emmy's line around his doorstops.
Speaker 1: But he uh. The contractor was like, hey, is uh
Speaker 1: is is Kevin Hart?
Speaker 2: You friends with Kevin Hart? And he goes, yeah, I
Speaker 2: know Kav And he goes, is he humble?
Speaker 1: And he was like, he goes, Jeremy, you're not humble
Speaker 1: and you're a fucking handyman on Craigslist.
Speaker 2: He's like, why would Kevin.
Speaker 1: Hart, who's five to one in a billionaire be humble? Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's He's as humble as other short like Tom Cruise.
Speaker 1: And he lists all these other guys and then he goes.
Speaker 1: He goes people are like, you know, we like Ellen,
Speaker 1: but is she nice? And he's like, who gives a
Speaker 1: shit if she's nice? She you know, she's a trailblazer
Speaker 1: for gay rights. She was a gay woman who got
Speaker 1: canceled for being gay. Her show Like was off the
Speaker 1: air soon as she admits she was gay. She went away.
Speaker 1: She came back five years later and had that hit
Speaker 1: TV show. He goes, is she nice? Have you ever
Speaker 1: met a nice lesbian? Like they're fine, but they're not nice,
Speaker 1: they're pleasant. I guess he makes just a good point
Speaker 1: that like why do we need our celebrities to be
Speaker 1: all of these things? And I think that is the
Speaker 1: articles I was reading about the Blake Lively thing. I
Speaker 1: was telling Noah and the other girls on Girls Chet
Speaker 1: because we were talking about it, Like I like that
Speaker 1: there's this backlash too, inauthenticity, which I think is what
Speaker 1: is the pylon about Blake is like movie stars don't
Speaker 1: get to be like I'm not gonna discuss that anymore,
Speaker 1: and like I'm you know this this perfection. Even Anne Hathaway,
Speaker 1: I think, has been kind of mom about some stuff
Speaker 1: that's not even that inquisitive like of questions and she's
Speaker 1: just like no comment.
Speaker 2: And like stars used.
Speaker 1: To be able to have this like wall up where
Speaker 1: they're like I'm perfect and I'm not gonna show you
Speaker 1: my real self, which is fine, But now people because
Speaker 1: of TikTok. And because of social media, people want their
Speaker 1: stars to be normal and relatable and authentic. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: and and that's and when they're not, there's there's a
Speaker 1: backlash coming. And all these stars that grew came up
Speaker 1: in the early two thousands and made their mark and
Speaker 1: don't know how to live in this kind of world
Speaker 1: where they're expected to be. They can't be authentic because
Speaker 1: they're not. And I'm not speaking of Blake Lively. I'm
Speaker 1: just speaking like they are celebrities that are so detached
Speaker 1: they cannot be authentic, Whereas people like Chapel.
Speaker 4: Roone actors are like you fall in love with the
Speaker 4: character they're playing, and then you expect like.
Speaker 1: Oh it's insane.
Speaker 5: Why why aren't you acting like Captain America? I don't understand.
Speaker 1: Expect nothing of them, folks. Please said it best. Did
Speaker 1: you hear what she said? Do you know who Chapelrone is?
Speaker 3: Brian Uh? Yes, I am aware.
Speaker 2: She's the best, But she just said it said. This
Speaker 2: is the headline.
Speaker 1: Chapel Rone is turning down movie offers because quote, actors
Speaker 1: are fucking crazy and Hollywood is so scary.
Speaker 2: I'd rather get arrested than be an actor.
Speaker 1: It's actors and weird, dude they are. It's like I'm
Speaker 1: friends with actors, but am my close friends. No, I'm
Speaker 1: mainly friends with comedians who have acted, but like actors
Speaker 1: that don't do something else, Like it's not I remember
Speaker 1: when I wanted to be an actress so badly because
Speaker 1: I thought it was just your ticket to being on
Speaker 1: TV and being on a TV show. I didn't realize
Speaker 1: like what it took to be an actor. It's like
Speaker 1: a lot of hard, intense work, and you have to
Speaker 1: be delusional or you have to be kind of like
Speaker 1: a crazy person in a different way than I am crazy.
Speaker 1: But I remember I went and auditioned for theater school
Speaker 1: at uh for an NYU auditioned. It wasn't like I
Speaker 1: sign up and you get an audition. It wasn't special.
Speaker 1: I had literally no talent. I'd been in like three
Speaker 1: plays in high school. So I flew to Chicago to
Speaker 1: audition and I was, remember, you know, is this probably
Speaker 1: fall of my senior year. And I'm in the hallway
Speaker 1: in this hotel in Chicago, and I see all of
Speaker 1: these theater kids practicing their monologues in the hallway and
Speaker 1: like not talking to me, but like being loud and
Speaker 1: like I'm important and I'm screaming in the corner and
Speaker 1: like just but also anti social. And I remember just
Speaker 1: thinking this, this isn't what, This isn't it for me,
Speaker 1: even though I did still want it. I remember thinking, like,
Speaker 1: I don't know how I'm gonna find friends in this
Speaker 1: kind of I the plays I did in high school
Speaker 1: weren't They were all like football players that got talked
Speaker 1: into doing plays, or they were like there were some
Speaker 1: actory kids, but they weren't. It was in the bulk,
Speaker 1: whereas when you go to theater school, it's that. And
Speaker 1: comedians are weird too. If you're an actor and you're
Speaker 1: taking offense to this, you should. I'm saying you're weird,
Speaker 1: but you're weird in a way that is fantastic because
Speaker 1: you can portray other people so well in almost a
Speaker 1: creepy way.
Speaker 2: But they are different. And I love Chapel.
Speaker 1: Roone for saying, like, I'm not going to fucking do anything.
Speaker 1: I'm getting all these endorsements, I'm not gonna like get
Speaker 1: paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to use to like
Speaker 1: pretend I use a product I don't like. I love
Speaker 1: I love her character. I just love her. She's so real,
Speaker 1: and that's what people want. That's like, that's the epitome
Speaker 1: of what people want from anything.
Speaker 3: Is real now.
Speaker 4: Parasocial relationships now because the industry has severed the ties
Speaker 4: between the Hollywood industrial complex and fame, there's no more stars.
Speaker 4: It's all about developing relationships with your fans, and they
Speaker 4: bolster you.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, I think that I get interviewed about
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift a lot, and I always kind of gloss
Speaker 1: over the fact that, like, I've learned to manage my
Speaker 1: career in whatever way I manage it. I really I
Speaker 1: wish I was a little bit more focused and intentional
Speaker 1: with the things I do. But the way I relate
Speaker 1: to my fans is the way I feel I relate
Speaker 1: to Taylor as a fan. I want my fans to
Speaker 1: feel that close to me and I because I do
Speaker 1: feel like I'm rooting for Taylor. I feel like I
Speaker 1: know her, like I don't need to be friends with
Speaker 1: her because she's told me everything she needs to tell
Speaker 1: me in her music. And the truth is, I say,
Speaker 1: I'm way more honest in my comedy than I am
Speaker 1: almost in one on one relationships. Or at least the same,
Speaker 1: And I think that that is I.
Speaker 4: I feel like you're more honest in your stand up
Speaker 4: than in real life. I feel like so too. Something
Speaker 4: about you stepping on stage gives you carte blanche to'll
Speaker 4: just unload things that you probably wouldn't say in conversation.
Speaker 2: I think so too, because I don't have to defend them.
Speaker 1: I don't have to answer to anyone going well that
Speaker 1: doesn't actually hold up. I think you're right, but I
Speaker 1: just I don't mind a parasocial relationship. I've said it before,
Speaker 1: but if you think you could be friends with me,
Speaker 1: you are right. I mean I don't. I don't have
Speaker 1: room in my life for you, probably just as Taylor
Speaker 1: doesn't have room in her life for me. But you're
Speaker 1: not wrong that if we met in middle school, girl
Speaker 1: or guy listening to this and you were like, man,
Speaker 1: we would really hang out. We would have been besties.
Speaker 1: But it's just the timing and the circumstance didn't allow it.
Speaker 1: So for you and your mind to think you're my friend,
Speaker 1: go for it. Don't get to the point where you
Speaker 1: need to murder me because of it, you know, like
Speaker 1: that's where.
Speaker 2: It becomes a problem.
Speaker 1: But I don't mind you thinking you're my friend and
Speaker 1: telling people my friend Nicki said this, My friend Nicki
Speaker 1: said that, like I don't. I don't think there's anything
Speaker 1: weird about that. And sometimes I have fans saying I
Speaker 1: talk about you like you're like I heard Nicky say
Speaker 1: this day, and my boyfriend's like, Nicki the glazer who
Speaker 1: you don't know, you're just calling her NICKI, like, you
Speaker 1: talk to her today, And I always go, that's fine.
Speaker 1: I've been listening to Last Culturistas, which is on the
Speaker 1: Big Money Players Network with US, and I am starting
Speaker 1: to have that with Bowen and Rogers. I am.
Speaker 2: I can't stop listening to them.
Speaker 1: I feel like it has made me funnier and more
Speaker 1: wise about pop culture. I've learned new words I just think.
Speaker 1: But I also feel like I'm I'm hanging out with them.
Speaker 1: It really gives me the sense that I'm hanging with people.
Speaker 4: God to ask you that a lot like it's such
Speaker 4: like an intimate it's in your ear while you're at Starbucks,
Speaker 4: and it's like an hour conversation. And if you listen
Speaker 4: to people long enough, you're just like they become part
Speaker 4: of your the network and your social brain.
Speaker 1: Especially if you're a person in conversation who doesn't already
Speaker 1: talk that much. Like, say you're someone who hangs out
Speaker 1: with your friends and you're not the most chatty of
Speaker 1: the group, Like it might resemble what it is like
Speaker 1: to be with a group of friends anyway for you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: of just kind of observing and maybe nodding along because
Speaker 1: I'm like.
Speaker 4: Well, that's the most comforting work place to be. I mean,
Speaker 4: just remember when you're at like a sleepover or something
Speaker 4: and you're like the first one to go into the
Speaker 4: sleeping bag, and you still hear your friends chatting.
Speaker 1: Is there about how they're gonna draw on your face?
Speaker 4: Okay, So imagine you're in your room at night and
Speaker 4: I want to hear your parents in the kitchen talking.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's it's the best.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have a new thing. I was watching Taylor tom
Speaker 1: Winson special and she does this thing where she asked
Speaker 1: the audience if they have any she has trouble sleeping,
Speaker 1: And she says, if you have any like weird sleep tips,
Speaker 1: share them with me. I've heard them all, And she
Speaker 1: goes in the audience it's really funny, and she hears
Speaker 1: one that she says helped her. Is like this woman said,
Speaker 1: go lay on your kitchen floor for ten minutes, just
Speaker 1: wide awake, and then go back to bed.
Speaker 2: And she goes, that actually worked. So Taylor said that worked.
Speaker 1: But I would have if I was at a show,
Speaker 1: I would have raised my hand because I came up
Speaker 1: with one. So if anyone out there struggles to sleep,
Speaker 1: this is one that I had been doing since I
Speaker 1: was a young girl, but I didn't put it together
Speaker 1: that it actually works until recently when I couldn't sleep.
Speaker 1: You okay, You go from being like I can't sleep
Speaker 1: to tell yourself you have to stay awake. You don't
Speaker 1: get to go to sleep. You must stay awakes, like
Speaker 1: you cannot fall asleep. And when you stop, when you start,
Speaker 1: instead of fighting staying awake to go to sleep, you
Speaker 1: stop fighting. You start fighting sleeping man, that sucker will
Speaker 1: win over Like do the opposite, go like you can't
Speaker 1: fall asleep, don't you dare fall asleep? You don't get
Speaker 1: to and then suddenly you want to so bad and
Speaker 1: then then let go and lean into it. And I
Speaker 1: promise you it works. Because my sister and I used
Speaker 1: to take turns looking for monsters. One of us would
Speaker 1: have to stay up and keep look out for monsters.
Speaker 1: Yeah in college we were both a little mostly underdeveloped,
Speaker 1: but yeah, it was so cute. So whenever I was
Speaker 1: on monster lookout duty, I would feel so much more
Speaker 1: tired than when I wasn't, And I remember realizing, like,
Speaker 1: why when I have to stay up to look for
Speaker 1: monsters do I just suddenly almost immediately, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm so tired, And so I've started using that kind
Speaker 1: of same thing.
Speaker 3: That's interesting. I'm gonna try doing that.
Speaker 4: I just try it because I think what it does,
Speaker 4: what would do for me is the reason why I
Speaker 4: can't fall asleep is because I'm thinking about something else
Speaker 4: that I'm stressing about, something else that I need to
Speaker 4: do the next morning, or sometimes it's like I can't.
Speaker 3: I'm like still I ate a meal too late. But
Speaker 3: if I'm thinking.
Speaker 4: About something and then I start thinking I have to
Speaker 4: stay awake, then I'll be thinking about that instead of
Speaker 4: the thing that's actually keeping me awake.
Speaker 1: Yeah, then you're actually thinking about sleeping. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Interesting.
Speaker 1: Well, I was listening to this meditation of this guy
Speaker 1: named doctor Russ. He's a chiropractor out of Portland, and
Speaker 1: I watch all his videos. He's the most relaxing ASMR
Speaker 1: voice ever. But he does like chiropractic videos. But then
Speaker 1: he does like meditations and he did one about sleeping
Speaker 1: and he was talking about how people when they can't sleep,
Speaker 1: he does like a talk with you about how you
Speaker 1: can't sleep, and it's so soothing and I literally haven't
Speaker 1: got it's like fifteen minutes, so long, and I never
Speaker 1: finish it. Because his name is doctor Russ out of Seattle.
Speaker 1: Just I've been sleeping doctor Russ. And he was saying
Speaker 1: that people feel like they can't sleep because they have
Speaker 1: to solve They need to solve whatever it is they're
Speaker 1: worried about, which is impossible to do, like you're not
Speaker 1: going to solve it. But I don't relate to that.
Speaker 1: I've never felt like there's.
Speaker 6: What's keeping you up, like what's happening in your mind?
Speaker 1: Only just my caffeine. Like I'm just not tired, you know,
Speaker 1: Like yeah, if I'm tired, though, I don't think anything
Speaker 1: can keep me up because I almost feel like sleep
Speaker 1: helps me, Like I'm not going to solve us something
Speaker 1: when I'm tired. I just know that my brain's not
Speaker 1: functioning right, and I'm just like it's almost like I'm drunk.
Speaker 1: There's no part of me that even wants to solve
Speaker 1: it when I'm feeling tired, because.
Speaker 4: I you've acknowledged that sleep is an necessary step in
Speaker 4: order to get you to the solution.
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe I'm procrastinating a little bit. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: maybe if I sleep, I can do it after I sleep. Like,
Speaker 1: there's that, But I'm glad I don't relate to that.
Speaker 1: But I think a lot of people do. They are
Speaker 1: trying to solve things and they're sleep. Do you guys
Speaker 1: both do that? Yeah, I mean that's happened to me.
Speaker 6: I used to have like a period in time where
Speaker 6: I'd wake up at three am, like every night, wake
Speaker 6: up at three am, and just start thinking about like
Speaker 6: the stresses of the next day. And my therapist, I
Speaker 6: mean she kind of told me what doctor Russ said.
Speaker 6: She goes, at three am, you cannot solve your problems.
Speaker 6: No one is up to help you. You can't send
Speaker 6: that email, you can't communicate, so just go back to sleep.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I start saying that to myself, there's nothing you will do,
Speaker 1: Like when my dad told me there's nothing. When I
Speaker 1: was scared of nuclear war, in nighth grade, and he
Speaker 1: was like, Nikki, there's nothing you can do about whether
Speaker 1: or not we die in a nuclear explosion. Nothing. And
Speaker 1: that was like, bring it on, Powerless.
Speaker 4: When I feel powerless, I start screaming, literally screaming. Yeah,
Speaker 4: like that's how I feel in the shower. But I
Speaker 4: want to show you something I got that I that
Speaker 4: I sometimes use when I wake up at three o'clock
Speaker 4: in the morning, which is this, Uh ACU show this
Speaker 4: you already.
Speaker 1: No, but I've seen that kind of So it's a pillow, guys,
Speaker 1: spiky things on it.
Speaker 2: So what is it called acupressure?
Speaker 5: It's it's an acupressure, Matt this particular brands man.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's it. Yeah, this is actually they made
Speaker 3: it out of Lady Gaga dresses.
Speaker 1: There's only it looks like a skirt I wear to aerostour.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but it's like it's really painful and you lay
Speaker 5: on it and the pain just kind.
Speaker 3: Of distracts you from whatever it.
Speaker 5: Is that you're thinking of, My God, and you go,
Speaker 5: this hurts so badatos, But then eventually the pain subsides
Speaker 5: and you sort of enter into the it's like drifting
Speaker 5: state of nirvana. It's like it's like your body just
Speaker 5: accepts the pain and then sends all these endorphins to
Speaker 5: the area.
Speaker 1: Well, wait, so you really get like tripped out because
Speaker 1: the pain kind of disappears and.
Speaker 3: Because you get relaxed cloud of pain. Yeah, in a way.
Speaker 4: I wouldn't say tripped out like you're taking shrooms or something,
Speaker 4: but you do enter this like state of this good
Speaker 4: vibrational state of calm.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, yeah a lot.
Speaker 1: Wait to tell you guys what I did last week.
Speaker 1: I don't even know if we have time for it.
Speaker 1: It's so fucked up. I'm gonna get into it after break.
Speaker 1: I haven't told anyone about it. Literally, it's you won't
Speaker 1: even believe what happened. Okay, we'll talk about when we
Speaker 1: get back. Okay, I have not told anyone about this
Speaker 1: except Chris. And Chris like didn't even really care to
Speaker 1: hear details about it. And I don't know why, because
Speaker 1: I think he was just ashamed that I even did
Speaker 1: something like this. But I've been having you know, I
Speaker 1: suffer with like vocal tension. I just have too much
Speaker 1: tension in my body that I literally just can't get
Speaker 1: rid of, and especially in my throat. And my neck,
Speaker 1: and I was like, maybe I'll go to a hypnotist.
Speaker 1: So I googled hypnotist right Saint Louis. Found someone who
Speaker 1: has been doing it for almost thirty years. Looked like
Speaker 1: someone like you know that experience. I just went off
Speaker 1: of experience. Chris was like, how did you find this person?
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I don't know. She just said she'd
Speaker 1: been doing it the longest and I just picked Willy Nilly.
Speaker 1: I don't know how to pick a good hypnotist. It's
Speaker 1: all fucking whatever. So and I've heard people like hypnotize
Speaker 1: themselves to you know, release, to stop smoking or to
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's helped people. Yeah, And I saw
Speaker 1: a girl get hypnotized at our like post prom party
Speaker 1: and she peter pants because she thought her share was
Speaker 1: on fire. And I know that it's real because she
Speaker 1: would never have done that. That's so embarrassing to do.
Speaker 5: She's literally giving a lap dance to your ex or
Speaker 5: something exactly.
Speaker 1: Like people like I understand when they do dumb things
Speaker 1: that are like kind of cool looking, like a girl
Speaker 1: is doing a strip teas because she's always wanted to,
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, but pissing your pants in front of
Speaker 1: your senior class, when you're not the most popular girl
Speaker 1: that could maybe get away with that. I don't know
Speaker 1: what kind of girl could. That's when I knew tipnotism
Speaker 1: was real. So I never tried it because I never
Speaker 1: really wanted it, but I just felt kind of desperate.
Speaker 1: So I called this woman and I go in and
Speaker 1: I tell her about my stuff, and she's kooky. I
Speaker 1: was outside of her office for fifteen minutes before she
Speaker 1: picked up her phone because I'm banging on the door
Speaker 1: and I'm like, she's not even here. She had just
Speaker 1: told me to reconfirm, and so I'm there. I drove
Speaker 1: forty minutes to get to where she was. Finally she
Speaker 1: lets me in. There's not really an apology. She's just like, oh,
Speaker 1: I didn't check my phone, and I'm like, okay, but
Speaker 1: it's two o'clock. I was with you here at two.
Speaker 1: I am here at too. Now it's two twenty and
Speaker 1: now you're letting me in, so we go up. I
Speaker 1: was just about to drive off too. I wish I
Speaker 1: would have we go up. We sit down in her
Speaker 1: own office. She keeps apologizing that nothing is where it's
Speaker 1: supposed to be because she just moved in. Not my problem.
Speaker 3: She's a wreck.
Speaker 1: She's totally She keeps checking her phone, putting it back
Speaker 1: in her purse. Her purse is full with things. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, her foot phone. She her purse is filled
Speaker 1: to the brim with things. She's kind of like a
Speaker 1: slight bag lady, a little hoardy, you know. But I
Speaker 1: don't judge it because like people that aren't, I don't
Speaker 1: need her to be perfect to be she's a fucking right,
Speaker 1: she's supposed to be out there and kookie. She has
Speaker 1: like a white beret. She has long white hair down
Speaker 1: to her shoulders.
Speaker 3: Well, that's good. That's a good sign.
Speaker 1: She is probably seventy five. Sorry, if you're listening to this,
Speaker 1: I don't think she is. And she's not that all
Speaker 1: like white outfit. Really really nice woman. What I loved
Speaker 1: about her is that when I was talking about was
Speaker 1: going through she kept saying, I'm really sorry you're going
Speaker 1: through that, And I thought that was a really nice thing.
Speaker 2: She was like, that must be.
Speaker 1: Really hard, that's I'm so sorry. I was talking to
Speaker 1: her about imposter syndrome. I was talking to her about
Speaker 1: my throat issues, and she was like, I really want
Speaker 1: to get back to this imposter syndrome thing like why
Speaker 1: you think you don't deserve things or whatever.
Speaker 2: Final thought.
Speaker 1: So she goes, honestly, I think before we do your
Speaker 1: throat stuff, which is why I went to her, like
Speaker 1: I want to release tension to sing better.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: She was like, I really think you have some past
Speaker 1: life stuff that we have to address about this imposter syndrome.
Speaker 1: And I'm just like, okay, sure, let's do that. She
Speaker 1: wants to get paid first, and I go, that's fine,
Speaker 1: two hundred fifty dollars all. She goes cash would be best.
Speaker 1: I go, I have cash, but I have three hundred.
Speaker 1: I'll just put fifty towards the next session because I'm
Speaker 1: thinking this is going to work. I'm not going back.
Speaker 1: She's keeping that fifty, by the way, So she's like,
Speaker 1: let's get into past life work. I just want to
Speaker 1: tell everyone I had time. If anyone wants to do
Speaker 1: past life stuff with you, run I've done it before.
Speaker 1: I talked about it on the podcast years ago. When
Speaker 1: I did it because a friend of mine recommended this woman.
Speaker 1: If you want to just sit for an hour with
Speaker 1: someone closing your eyes and making up a stra for
Speaker 1: them to help you make up, then do that. If
Speaker 1: you enjoy tucking your kids in at night and making
Speaker 1: up a story when they go tell a story, and
Speaker 1: you just enjoy speaking off the lit off the dome,
Speaker 1: coming up with characters and settings and a plot line,
Speaker 1: then this is for you, because this is what it was.
Speaker 1: It was me staring at a literal wheel that turned,
Speaker 1: you know, like a black and white wheel, Oh god,
Speaker 1: that she put across the room. So it was really small,
Speaker 1: and I go, I think it needs to be closer.
Speaker 1: So then we moved a bunch of shits so it
Speaker 1: could be closer. I'm on a love seat. I'm five nine,
Speaker 1: so I'm like bald up on this love seat, laying down,
Speaker 1: and she was like, my long.
Speaker 2: Couch wouldn't fit in the new office. I got.
Speaker 1: I don't care. So then we're going in my past
Speaker 1: life and she's like, okay, you're walking down a hall.
Speaker 1: She goes, your eyes are getting heavy, and my my
Speaker 1: head is going like, no they're not, your eyes are watering,
Speaker 1: No they're not. But then they start to because I
Speaker 1: just want to make it right, right, like I just
Speaker 1: want to give her what she's telling me. Your eyes
Speaker 1: are closing, and I literally felt like if I don't
Speaker 1: close my eyes, then what is this gonna be? Like,
Speaker 1: I just need to do I need to close my eyes.
Speaker 1: I need to give her what she wants. And I'm
Speaker 1: someone that's not like I pride myself on not just
Speaker 1: doing what people want me to do. But I just
Speaker 1: wanted to get the fuck out of there, and I go,
Speaker 1: maybe part of being hypnotized is kind of, you know,
Speaker 1: controlling it a little bit, like, yeah, closing your eyes
Speaker 1: because she said to close them, but you know, I
Speaker 1: don't know. So I at first was like, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna close my eyes just because she says close your
Speaker 1: eyes and your eyes are getting heavy.
Speaker 2: They're not, and so I kept them open.
Speaker 1: But then she kept saying they're getting heavy because she
Speaker 1: was getting frustrated. And then finally I'm like, they're closed.
Speaker 1: Then I'm walking down a hallway. Then she's like, there's
Speaker 1: a bunch of doors. Suddenly a door is going to
Speaker 1: look familiar to you. I think I might have the
Speaker 1: thing that Halla has where you can't picture things. Because
Speaker 1: I could not see a hallway, I couldn't see doors nothing.
Speaker 1: She made it sound like I should be like in
Speaker 1: this virtual reality world that would be so clear to me,
Speaker 1: what the floor looked like, what the doors looked like.
Speaker 1: You're gonna see a door that looks familiar, walk into it.
Speaker 1: Then that is a past life. So I walk in
Speaker 1: this door and then she's like, and what's in the room.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't see anything. Well, if you could
Speaker 1: see something, what would it be. I'm like a bird cage.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm just literally making shit up. And then
Speaker 1: she's like, you find a closet with clothes in it?
Speaker 1: What do the clothes look like. I'm like, there's no clothes.
Speaker 1: I don't see a closet. Well, keep looking, Oh, I
Speaker 1: found the closet. Like, I'm just like getting raped into
Speaker 1: mini raped into making things appear. So finally I'm in
Speaker 1: this dress, I'm on a plantation. So I'm making up
Speaker 1: a story. I'm literally in Bridgerton because and then she
Speaker 1: goes okay, and then we get bored there because oh,
Speaker 1: so then I'm a woman in the eighteen hundreds walking
Speaker 1: around a house.
Speaker 2: I'm just making this.
Speaker 1: Up literally, which could she could cause I literally said
Speaker 1: that to her. I go, I think I'm just making
Speaker 1: things up to give you a story, because I don't
Speaker 1: none of this is appearing. I'm actually trying to think
Speaker 1: of something to tell you. And she goes, well, what's
Speaker 1: the difference between that and an appearing? And I go, well,
Speaker 1: that's a good point. Don't really know, so let's just
Speaker 1: go with it. But I think a lot of this, exactly,
Speaker 1: I think a lot of what I'm coming up with
Speaker 1: is stuff that I just saw this week on TV.
Speaker 1: I said that, I go, She goes, esventually, I end
Speaker 1: up in this office, and she goes, what does the
Speaker 1: office look like? And I go, I go, it looks
Speaker 1: exactly like the office of the man whose office is
Speaker 1: next to yours, who I walked into right before the session.
Speaker 2: That's exactly. And it's the same man sitting there.
Speaker 1: And she goes, well, maybe it is. Maybe it's just
Speaker 1: maybe it was another past life where you run into him.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, unlikely.
Speaker 1: So I made up an entire plot line for this
Speaker 1: girl who I used to be. Her name was Abigail,
Speaker 1: She lit, she was She grew up.
Speaker 2: In an orphanage.
Speaker 1: She worked at the orphanage she grew up in. The
Speaker 1: woman kept wanting me, Okay, so because I want to
Speaker 1: be a singer, she kept wanting me to be a
Speaker 1: singer in a past life, and she kept being like.
Speaker 2: So, so what are you do? You sing a little bit?
Speaker 1: And I go nope, this girl does not sing.
Speaker 2: Does she go out to like have or anything?
Speaker 1: And I go, it's the eighteen hundreds. I'm a single woman.
Speaker 1: I can't go anywhere for fun on my own. I
Speaker 1: just go walk along the river and she goes, oh,
Speaker 1: that makes sense. I go, I need a male companion
Speaker 1: to go anywhere. And I really truly felt that. I
Speaker 1: don't even know if I came up with that logically.
Speaker 1: I literally was like, bitch, why do you keep asking
Speaker 1: me to go places when I don't have a husband
Speaker 1: so I can't fucking go anywhere. I work in an orphanage.
Speaker 1: And she goes, that actually would be true. She goes,
Speaker 1: do you have the friends? And I go no, and
Speaker 1: she goes, What's how's this girl's life gonna end? I'm like,
Speaker 1: she wants to throw herself from a fucking bridge and
Speaker 1: she goes, okay, well does she?
Speaker 2: And I go I don't think she does. She just
Speaker 2: thinks about it.
Speaker 1: And then I made this girl find a friend, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, this is actually turning into
Speaker 1: like an a lane Ferrante book or whatever. That my
Speaker 1: brilliant friend book. This is turning into a book. So
Speaker 1: this girl then meets a friend by the lake. That
Speaker 1: girl comes from a privileged life, but they have to
Speaker 1: keep their friendship secret because she's not allowed to like
Speaker 1: have friends that are dirty and like poor. And then
Speaker 1: they kind of are gay for each other, but they
Speaker 1: can ever admit it because she's married. And my character
Speaker 1: like hates the patriarchy, even though she doesn't have a
Speaker 1: word for it. She like hates men and hates her status,
Speaker 1: and she's a right like I came with this whole story.
Speaker 2: And then she just dies in her sleep. Like my paracter,
Speaker 2: she wanted.
Speaker 1: This woman to be she I think she wanted me
Speaker 1: to be like Judy Garland in the past life or something,
Speaker 1: because she kept like trying to steer it to that.
Speaker 1: I'm like, we're not even in that same fucking century, bitch,
Speaker 1: and but I and then oh, don't even think it
Speaker 1: was over. So after that woman died, she makes me
Speaker 1: go to my next life after that, and then I
Speaker 1: just threw in the cards and in my next life,
Speaker 1: guess what, I was.
Speaker 3: A whale.
Speaker 1: I just became a whale because I was like, I
Speaker 1: need something simple, though, require a bunch of doors and
Speaker 1: like dresses and an occupation and friends and different floorboards
Speaker 1: that I have to describe what the floor looks like
Speaker 1: and the bedding looks like like it was true, Brian,
Speaker 1: you know how I get stressed out in improvs games,
Speaker 1: Like when we played Bag of Fun. I can't.
Speaker 2: I don't like coming up with things.
Speaker 1: So for a whale, I was just a whale, a
Speaker 1: lie in the scene and I didn't even have a pod.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm a lone whale who got lost
Speaker 1: from his pod. That's how done I was. And then
Speaker 1: this session, which she told me was supposed to last
Speaker 1: two and a half hours, which, by the way, that's disgusting,
Speaker 1: and you should tell someone before they get to your
Speaker 1: office that someone's going to last that long like this, does.
Speaker 4: That include the twenty minutes that you were waiting outside exactly?
Speaker 1: I said, I got to be out of here by
Speaker 1: four forty five and going to see you fucking house.
Speaker 1: And she was like, well, what we might we might
Speaker 1: be in one of your lives, and I go, well,
Speaker 1: then we'll have to leave that life because I have
Speaker 1: one to get to here. She was just so like, well,
Speaker 1: we don't know where we'll be and I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I need to be out by four forty five. And
Speaker 1: so but I was out by three twenty five because
Speaker 1: I was a whale and then I was nothing else
Speaker 1: and she knew. I was like, I'm out of this
Speaker 1: cause I was just like, I'm just a whale. And
Speaker 1: then I go I just started like opening my eyes
Speaker 1: and I'm like, that's really cool.
Speaker 2: That makes sense why I love whales, and that makes.
Speaker 1: Sense why I, you know, feel angry about being a
Speaker 1: woman sometime, Like I.
Speaker 4: Was interesting that in both of your past lives you
Speaker 4: were alone. Yeah, you're a lone wail and a lone
Speaker 4: girl walking along the river.
Speaker 1: But it did help me. I was like, I kind
Speaker 1: of want to write a book about this woman now
Speaker 1: that I invented. Like I have never ever written fiction
Speaker 1: because I just don't find it interesting. I don't watch fiction.
Speaker 1: I don't really read fiction that often. Like I just
Speaker 1: don't care for fiction unless it's Taylor Swift writing folklore.
Speaker 1: I just don't care about made up things. But when
Speaker 1: I was forced to make this thing up, I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this person like exists somewhere. I like
Speaker 1: really feel like this Abigail girl is real. I don't
Speaker 1: think it was a real past life because it was
Speaker 1: made up of things I've seen on Netflix, you know.
Speaker 1: But it was like, oh, I see how people can
Speaker 1: be like attached to a character. I've never felt that before,
Speaker 1: so it wasn't all for not. But I wasted an
Speaker 1: hour and a half of my I would say two
Speaker 1: hours with the driving of my life making up a
Speaker 1: story for this woman, and I paid three hundred dollars
Speaker 1: to do it, and it's so embarrassing. So I just
Speaker 1: want to tell anyone whoever is involved in any past
Speaker 1: life stuff, it's.
Speaker 2: Bullsh I really think it's bullshit. It Do something else
Speaker 2: with your time.
Speaker 1: Do not get suckered into this, Like I just it's
Speaker 1: happened to me twice now where I've had past life
Speaker 1: people make me make up stories on the fly, and
Speaker 1: they make you so uncomfortable because they make you feel
Speaker 1: like when you're resisting and saying this is not real,
Speaker 1: they make you feel like you're doing it wrong somehow,
Speaker 1: and like you just can get so tricked by these people.
Speaker 1: And I'm just it cannot happen again to me, And
Speaker 1: I just want to ask any besties.
Speaker 2: If you've had any.
Speaker 1: Stories of this where you go to like a healer
Speaker 1: or something and they take advantage of you. I've been
Speaker 1: like sexually assaulted by a healer before. I've been. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're not canceled yet, they're still working. I've been and
Speaker 1: it wasn't a horrible sexual asault, but he like licked
Speaker 1: tears off my face so much kind of unpleasant.
Speaker 2: It's disgusting. It's truely disgusting.
Speaker 1: And all my friends were in the next room and
Speaker 1: I talked about it afterwards, and they were like laughing about.
Speaker 2: It, like, Oh, that's just tim or whatever.
Speaker 1: It was so weird, and he still works and he
Speaker 1: works with really famous people and he's disgusting. But and
Speaker 1: he gave me the worst. He like adjusted my neck
Speaker 1: and gave me. I was vomiting for hours the next
Speaker 1: day because of a migraine I had from that, uh,
Speaker 1: from that adjustment. So I just I want to know
Speaker 1: if anyone else has been hoodwinked by these people, which
Speaker 1: I do think this woman believes what she's saying and doing. Sure,
Speaker 1: I don't think she's a Tyler Henry, which is a no.
Speaker 1: I do Tyler Henry. I believe it's real. But I
Speaker 1: believe she feels the same way Tyler does. Like I
Speaker 1: don't think she's aware that she's tricking people, And I
Speaker 1: don't think Tyler Henry's tricking people, by the way, But
Speaker 1: like I I think that I don't think she knows
Speaker 1: that she's full of shit.
Speaker 4: Well, she's either got a mental disorder or she truly
Speaker 4: is no longer tethered to reality, which is why she
Speaker 4: can't be bothered to like organize her apartment or you know,
Speaker 4: do things on time. Maybe she's in between worlds right
Speaker 4: now and she can see the past life.
Speaker 1: I don't you just hate when you get taken advantage
Speaker 1: of and you can't You're like, you're paying for something
Speaker 1: that you don't want and you can't leave. Does that
Speaker 1: happen to you guys?
Speaker 5: Ever?
Speaker 1: I mean this fear, No, not the fear like ever
Speaker 1: those sphere's the sphere.
Speaker 3: When you're watching YouTube being like I can't leave.
Speaker 4: I don't want to point Nikki and Chris, I just
Speaker 4: want to guess.
Speaker 1: I felt it to that night. Yeah, and yeah, you're
Speaker 1: so right. And Bono is on stage rambling like someone
Speaker 1: who is doing a past life meditation.
Speaker 3: I am away taking things up.
Speaker 6: I've had that in like massages or facials where you're
Speaker 6: just kind of like stuck to the bed and okay,
Speaker 6: that's a perfect example.
Speaker 2: No, nail, you know what, you nailed it. Massages.
Speaker 1: I think everyone can raise their hand right now. They've
Speaker 1: had a massage that sucks, and you know it as
Speaker 1: soon as their clammy hand touches you. Yeah, but you
Speaker 1: have an hour maybe sometimes ninety minutes to get through with.
Speaker 6: This person, and they talk constantly and you just don't
Speaker 6: want to hear anything.
Speaker 2: Oh god when they talk.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh but yeah, just pretend you're a whale and get
Speaker 2: the fuck out there.
Speaker 1: That's my life, all right, guys, we got to go.
Speaker 1: I'm in Michigan this weekend. Really exciting stuff coming up
Speaker 1: Battle Creek, Michigan, Friday and Saturday and Saturday, and then Sunday,
Speaker 1: I'm going to see a Taylor Swift show, but not
Speaker 1: by Taylor Swift. I'm going to see a young boy
Speaker 1: I found on Instagram.
Speaker 2: Who's like eight years old perform.
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift and is back two hours outside of Michigan.
Speaker 1: So I'll tell you about that next next week. But
Speaker 1: we have another show tomorrow. We'll get to we'll see
Speaker 1: you then, thank you for listening to the podcast, doob
Speaker 1: bey kit, and bye. The Nicki Glazer Podcast is a
Speaker 1: production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 1: Created and hosted by me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by
Speaker 1: Brian Frangie, Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and
Speaker 1: Noah Avior edited it engineered by Lean and Loaf, video
Speaker 1: production Mark Canton and music by Anya Marina.
Speaker 2: You can now watch full
Speaker 1: Episodes of the Nicki Glazer Podcast on YouTube, follow at
Speaker 1: Nicki Glazer Pod and subscribe to our channel