Speaker 1: I love a good line. Judge. She goes quiet, please, quiet, Please.
Speaker 1: No one knows where he's from. He's this weird accent,
Speaker 1: like he's been to boarding school. You know what I'm saying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and that's like sevens Williams advantage.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you look down, it's always Anthony Hopkins in
Speaker 2: Silence of the Lambs.
Speaker 3: That's what they look like. Always. They always want to Kiante.
Speaker 3: It's too much.
Speaker 1: I agree, Michelle Buteau, what's up? Welcome to adulting. I'm
Speaker 1: here with my co from Go Michelle Buteau. Don't you
Speaker 1: know she's dressed in a gorgeous ensemble, you know, having
Speaker 1: a moment.
Speaker 2: I love Prairie slaves and I can't help it. She
Speaker 2: is she is also I love I love that designers
Speaker 2: are finally having a plus category, because now I could
Speaker 2: look the way I feel, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I talk about this in my books, The Bible of
Speaker 2: the Thickest plus sized Essays in a small minded world.
Speaker 3: Now, but if you've ever had.
Speaker 2: Like, I don't want to say passion, professhion because like
Speaker 2: what like what bumper sticker?
Speaker 3: Why am I a bumper sticker? In Vermont get out
Speaker 3: of here.
Speaker 2: But it sucks because like all your friends just look
Speaker 2: fly and they have different colors on, and you're just
Speaker 2: still in the black and the cheetah, trying to figure
Speaker 2: out your way.
Speaker 3: So it's very nice.
Speaker 2: I really respect Lizzo and Nicole Byer for like the
Speaker 2: crop top of it all and the no bra moment,
Speaker 2: like you better. I'm not there yet, but I will
Speaker 2: be soon. It's sort of like a Benjamin button, but
Speaker 2: with your booty, like you get to age backwards.
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, how is it a Benjamin button with your.
Speaker 2: Because if you were born like let's say thirty to
Speaker 2: forty somebody years.
Speaker 3: Ago, let's just say, let's just say that category you.
Speaker 4: Did not.
Speaker 2: You didn't why you didn't have plus size options, right,
Speaker 2: So you always were either you know, an oversize something
Speaker 2: or the other, or your dad's shirt and you try
Speaker 2: to make it work, or something black, like you always
Speaker 2: look like a Greek widow. But now so you just
Speaker 2: like you were just made to feel conservative, you know,
Speaker 2: like even when I would do vintage picks, it was
Speaker 2: always like it was giving very misusdoubt fire and I'm like,
Speaker 2: i am not sixty five, you know, I'm twenty two,
Speaker 2: and so those were always like the dresses that came
Speaker 2: in the sizes.
Speaker 3: And so now that I'm in my mid forties, bitch,
Speaker 3: you bet off.
Speaker 2: I get to wear fun, funky, colorful things. So it
Speaker 2: feels like booty is a Benjamin Button. It's agent backwards.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's aging backwards. Interesting. That was a long road.
Speaker 4: A.
Speaker 1: Road. It's okay.
Speaker 2: My stories are like Lombardo's Street in San Francisco.
Speaker 1: Not at the same time, but enjoy the view.
Speaker 2: Let's get on. I'm done, I'm done with me. Let's
Speaker 2: just get on.
Speaker 1: Can I? Can I say something.
Speaker 2: Such a middle every time you say that, I'm like
Speaker 2: the poor middle child in Texas at the dinner table.
Speaker 1: No, it's I was just gonna say, my daughter, this
Speaker 1: is terrible I and this is gonna haunt me. But
Speaker 1: I found my daughter's journal and you went through it
Speaker 1: these it's it's hysterical. She's nine years old.
Speaker 3: Why did you go through it? My mom went through my.
Speaker 1: Journal because my wife showed it to me. What am
Speaker 1: I supposed to do? Not look at it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, be like those are her feelings?
Speaker 1: What am I supposed to do? Not read it? On adulting?
Speaker 1: Stop it's about she has deep feelings about what am
Speaker 1: I supposed to do? Not read her feelings about Halloween
Speaker 1: candy and then talk about it. We could always edit
Speaker 1: it out later.
Speaker 3: You know, nobody anything exactly right. They just leave up
Speaker 3: in here. I'm like, you guys louted this out right.
Speaker 2: They're like, sure, uh huh, sure, we came up a
Speaker 2: little short in this episode, so we have to keep
Speaker 2: your most.
Speaker 1: Darkest personal sho now that we're here. Okay, whatever, listen
Speaker 1: the cakes getting baitdh the McKay place times. That's what
Speaker 1: it's called. Main article. Well, she's spelled it aart icl
Speaker 1: Halloween crazy. She says, everyone knows that Halloween was on
Speaker 1: the thirty first October. Who is she ad dressing here
Speaker 1: in her diary? But lately I've been seeing a lot
Speaker 1: of candy and Halloween already passed. This Halloween, I noticed
Speaker 1: that the neighborhood people, the neighborhood people either got a
Speaker 1: lot more or a lot less candy than last year.
Speaker 1: But one thing's for sure, people are littering. Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1: It appears that Halloween hasn't gone. There's a lot more
Speaker 1: left than you think. Exclamation point. Lately, I saw twigs
Speaker 1: a hot chew and a milky way just lying there
Speaker 1: on the floor in perfect condition. I should know, no,
Speaker 1: l I ate them what myself? Oh at first I
Speaker 1: thought I was just a lucky duck. But then they
Speaker 1: kept popping up everywhere. I also noticed a lot of
Speaker 1: rappers too. I had to swim through a seat of
Speaker 1: them just to grab something from the deli. Oh god,
Speaker 1: I mean global beautiful use of a comma there, I
Speaker 1: mean global warmings? Bad? Are rety? What are we really
Speaker 1: gonna make it worse? Please stop glittering. The planet's fate
Speaker 1: is depending on you, on you. Who is you're dressing.
Speaker 1: It's a journal. It's for her.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, you better give her a soapbox for
Speaker 2: Kwanza because she is ready. Okay, thought I thought it
Speaker 2: was gonna be different. This was very inspiring because she's saying,
Speaker 2: I know, have your fun, have your sweet treat in
Speaker 2: the time that we said we would, and also pick
Speaker 2: the fuck up after yourself and with your daughter one
Speaker 2: thousand percent.
Speaker 1: I'm with her too. I'm with her too. I just
Speaker 1: love what's going on in a little cubasa. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what's going on up there? And she's just like, pick
Speaker 1: your trash up, get the planet, neat people while I
Speaker 1: eat on these milky ways.
Speaker 2: It's interesting because your daughter is really good with other kids,
Speaker 2: which is always just like, that's just so fun for
Speaker 2: other parents, truly, and then she'll also go off on
Speaker 2: her own and read a book if she feels like it.
Speaker 2: But then she also plays well with others, so you know,
Speaker 2: she's she's just perfect. She's a perfect little angel because
Speaker 2: she's bossy but also plays well. It's just it's everything
Speaker 2: you guys just heard. You guys did so good. It's yeah,
Speaker 2: she just she really is.
Speaker 1: She makes me she's so cute, and I just love
Speaker 1: how cute she is, and I love that she's so
Speaker 1: conscientious and earnest. When I read this in probably twenty
Speaker 1: years from now, hold it against me.
Speaker 2: She's gonna hate you for this, but also have like
Speaker 2: a deal from Mars. Also, you and your wife were
Speaker 2: like the first I think comedian. You were the first
Speaker 2: comedian I know, well one of the first to have
Speaker 2: a kid, and it looked like it was going so well,
Speaker 2: so it was very inspiring.
Speaker 1: Oh that's kind well, yeah, because you.
Speaker 2: Always like see comedian dads just being like, oh, my
Speaker 2: favorite thing's ruined pussy?
Speaker 3: Am I right?
Speaker 2: And you're like ew and it's like, oh my, oh god,
Speaker 2: I can't wait to go do the cruise line for seven?
Speaker 1: Why do you always do like a Joe DeRosa impression?
Speaker 1: Whenever you're.
Speaker 3: Joe DeRosa?
Speaker 1: Hilarious comedian also has.
Speaker 3: A sandwich shop. Check him out. We'll have him on
Speaker 3: the show.
Speaker 2: Jesus, you know what, let me not get myself in
Speaker 2: trouble by way of you.
Speaker 3: Let's get onto the show.
Speaker 2: You guys, we have a great comedian, also a dad,
Speaker 2: also a prolific thinker.
Speaker 3: I wonder what his journal was like at nine years old.
Speaker 1: It was probably fantastic. It had great insights. I mean
Speaker 1: when he came on like, I love this man.
Speaker 3: Yes, let's get to it.
Speaker 1: He's inspiring. Talk about inspiring, the one and only Alabama's own.
Speaker 1: Very few good things come out of Alabama. Let me
Speaker 1: just say, okay, we got the Peanut, George Washington, Carver,
Speaker 1: the Commodores, and our guest, Roy Roy Junior. That's where
Speaker 1: you were supposed to come in.
Speaker 3: Sorry, I just had so much fun watching it.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, let's get to it. Geez, Brooklyn, some motherfucking.
Speaker 3: What is going hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, okay
Speaker 3: kai kiki kai, hey kay, I'm tired.
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, can we make it a little sauce
Speaker 2: to make it dalker? I don't have to see everybody.
Speaker 1: I am also free in my hips as well as
Speaker 1: you say, very free in my hips? Has everybody doing?
Speaker 1: What's up? Who you woke? A?
Speaker 3: Hello? Nice to meet you.
Speaker 1: New York is back in a big motherfucking way?
Speaker 4: Is it?
Speaker 1: I feel like it. I feel like it. Our character
Speaker 1: is back, our charisma, don't you think? Sure?
Speaker 3: It felt like you're gonna pass me a pamphlet. I
Speaker 3: didn't know what was happening.
Speaker 2: What all right?
Speaker 3: I guess it's back. I guess so.
Speaker 2: I also like how quickly New Yorkers could get over
Speaker 2: something too, like if you know, if something's going down
Speaker 2: on the subway and someone like why do we act
Speaker 2: like as musical chairs, just like running in for the scene,
Speaker 2: especially like on the four, five and six, I'm like,
Speaker 2: everyone calmed down, it's gonna come again, right, and just
Speaker 2: like grown men sitting down being like I got you right,
Speaker 2: and then I'll just start acting like I have gas
Speaker 2: or some shit. I'm just like, oh, but like standing
Speaker 2: with my button around their face like, oh sorry, I
Speaker 2: just really wanted that seat.
Speaker 1: I've broken up a fight.
Speaker 3: And then like in two point two, they're just like,
Speaker 3: you need a I was like, yo, have you ever
Speaker 3: faked at first scene?
Speaker 1: No, I was just gonna say I broke up a
Speaker 1: fight once.
Speaker 3: Is that what you just said to me?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I broke up a fight.
Speaker 3: Wasn't listening.
Speaker 1: Let me set the scene. It was during It was
Speaker 1: for you to set the scene. Picture it. It was
Speaker 1: picture it. Uh it's winter during the before times in
Speaker 1: about uh twenty nineteen, and uh, we just pulled it
Speaker 1: into the thirty fourth Street station. It's very cold, bitterly cold,
Speaker 1: and I had I was so uh like I had
Speaker 1: my you know, my jacket on everything like that, and
Speaker 1: I remember this lady.
Speaker 3: Is this a long story?
Speaker 1: No, it's very quick. Seems long, but it's not.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm interested.
Speaker 1: Now. The unhoused lady gets on and she's eating a
Speaker 1: chicken from a cellophane bag and like a whole chicken,
Speaker 1: a whole bird. And yes, I mean not better. But
Speaker 1: what happens is all right because what happened, here's what happened.
Speaker 1: This other lady gets up bumps the lady with a
Speaker 1: cellophane bag. The lady with the bag goes, oh, no,
Speaker 1: you didn't like that. And then they start going back
Speaker 1: and forth, and I was like, ladies, ladies, please, because
Speaker 1: it's two women of color. They reminded me. You know,
Speaker 1: it's like it's like, you know, I think about my family,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm like, I'm like, please, Sister's like, let's
Speaker 1: work this out. I had like Obama vibes. I was like,
Speaker 1: let's go, let's work this. I put myself between them,
Speaker 1: and the lady with a cellphone bag didn't like that.
Speaker 1: So she wopped me with me on my head, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, Jordan, which is really actually a lot heavier
Speaker 1: than you. So she kind of like used it like
Speaker 1: a you know, like a night had that thing a bludgeon,
Speaker 1: you know, a mace. Right, she used it like a mace.
Speaker 4: And she.
Speaker 1: She maced me with the chicken in my head. And
Speaker 1: then the next part I did not expect. She hit
Speaker 1: me with the dark meat. And then she.
Speaker 5: She took off her clothes and she jumped on me,
Speaker 5: and then and so and so we immediate like immediately
Speaker 5: I like hit the floor.
Speaker 6: Like oh like and I'm like rolling around with this
Speaker 6: lady like this on the subway floor and by the way,
Speaker 6: here comes here comes a Snapple bottle at me, rolling
Speaker 6: over the floor.
Speaker 1: I avoid that. I'm like, oh, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: I avoid that because God knows what that's full of,
Speaker 1: you know. And then I'm black. I completely blacked out.
Speaker 1: And for a moment, in a different life, we could
Speaker 1: have dated, you know, like I just yeah, yeah, and
Speaker 1: then it was like I know you so well.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Then forty second Stree was like big bom and I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm out. And that was it. I broke
Speaker 1: up a fight.
Speaker 3: Can we please go out with the show?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Some curfet.
Speaker 3: Did you learn a lesson?
Speaker 1: My lesson is to do it again what I want
Speaker 1: to do?
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I'm very excited for our next guest. He's
Speaker 2: done the show a couple of times. He's so fucking great.
Speaker 2: He's a contributor on the Daily Show.
Speaker 1: He's got multiple specials.
Speaker 3: He's so dope. We love him. You we know you
Speaker 3: will too. Hey, please give it up for Roy what Junior.
Speaker 1: June is here? So glad you're here? Wow?
Speaker 4: Now where you want me?
Speaker 1: We love you? Right there, right there, right here. That's
Speaker 1: the seed of Miny can make sure that his mic
Speaker 1: is on.
Speaker 4: I don't know if it's on or not. It doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: Should we go back to microphone the.
Speaker 4: Mic line is on, it says Red. I don't fucking know.
Speaker 4: I've been television.
Speaker 1: I think I think.
Speaker 3: Jordan's story and cut himself off.
Speaker 1: How y'all been to see you too?
Speaker 4: I mean that like there's very few people like comedians
Speaker 4: that they're fucking like. Yeah, I'm serious, like New York is,
Speaker 4: but YouTube have always been genuine and kind. And I
Speaker 4: mean we go back like at least fifteen.
Speaker 1: Something like that, probably longer thousand and six and six
Speaker 1: in Montreal. Yes, yeah, I feel like we did.
Speaker 3: No better Mondays together in LA maybe the.
Speaker 4: Black Comedy Show, Yes we did that, but also Montreal
Speaker 4: as well. But I think it was like eight when
Speaker 4: I met you at Montreal.
Speaker 3: Will we doing last comics standing together?
Speaker 4: It's possible.
Speaker 3: Yeah, When you're hustling, it's a fucking blur.
Speaker 4: You just yeah and do the thing, have some drinks
Speaker 4: hopefully because you over the over the arc of that,
Speaker 4: you're able to see, you who the assholes are and
Speaker 4: who the genuine people are, and who the opportunists are
Speaker 4: and you to have never been that. It's always been genuine.
Speaker 4: I'm happy to be here.
Speaker 1: I love you, Oh we love you. I love you man,
Speaker 1: only my house.
Speaker 4: I'm not touring this year, like I'm like, I'm on
Speaker 4: some I gotta figure out a new way to do
Speaker 4: my comedy, so I get to it right now.
Speaker 1: So I don't. Are you spending more time with the
Speaker 1: little guy? I got the boy?
Speaker 4: He's six now, I got two episodes, a better call
Speaker 4: saut than I got.
Speaker 3: I got ship to do.
Speaker 1: But I'm here here damn serious finale and I'm freaking
Speaker 1: just the one.
Speaker 4: He's six, and it's been good, and it's kind of
Speaker 4: dope that this year was the year that I chose
Speaker 4: to kind of come off of the road because he's
Speaker 4: now cognizant of me being gone and the idea of
Speaker 4: days of the week and knowing that he'll be back
Speaker 4: this day. Ain't gone this many days. So it's been
Speaker 4: cool to you know, like we do. Like I thought
Speaker 4: I was gonna be a thug. We rode bikes across
Speaker 4: the Brooklyn Bridge together.
Speaker 1: Oh that's beautiful. It was fun, Like I fucking I
Speaker 1: loved it. I really did.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to get him to push himself and Brooklyn
Speaker 4: Bridge that ain't no that ain't no no joke, that
Speaker 4: ain't no easy ride. Half whatever it was, we only
Speaker 4: stopped twice. And I couldn't have been more proud of
Speaker 4: the boy because we rode all the way across that
Speaker 4: damn thing. And so you know, I'm just I.
Speaker 1: Think the span is about two miles. Yeah, we can
Speaker 1: google it, Thank you, John J. Robling. Okay, everybody, do you.
Speaker 3: Understand when he when you're proud of him?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: Does he understand what that feels like? Do you see
Speaker 3: that on him?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I think he understands when he's done something good. But
Speaker 4: I'm very I don't know like his mom, man, and
Speaker 4: we go parents so differently, but it's like she's the
Speaker 4: emotional reinforcement, and I feel like it's my job, motherfucker.
Speaker 4: They're trying to get you. You gotta be better, motherfucker.
Speaker 4: They're coming futher, everybody, they're coming with you. But no,
Speaker 4: I congratulate him, but I also feel like it's my
Speaker 4: job to make sure that he is prepared for failure
Speaker 4: because life is more failure than success, and it's how
Speaker 4: you survive those moments they get you to the next success,
Speaker 4: and so I'm not trying to over congratulate.
Speaker 1: By man, that was good.
Speaker 4: Now let's just let's let's let's watch the game tape
Speaker 4: and see what we can get better. You know, like
Speaker 4: I don't shit on his happiness. I let him have
Speaker 4: those moments and I celebrate that, but you know, I
Speaker 4: just want to make sure that within the congratulations that
Speaker 4: we don't lose that effort. And I think that's the
Speaker 4: important thing, the balance that she and I have because
Speaker 4: she is the the unconditional love and praise and everything
Speaker 4: is good, and I try to match them. That's the
Speaker 4: thing that's really that nobody really says about parenting is
Speaker 4: that low key like you can tell when your partner
Speaker 4: is reaching the kid on a different level than you are.
Speaker 4: So then the next week you just got to steal
Speaker 4: they shit.
Speaker 3: I hate it when my husband steals my shade.
Speaker 1: That's what I fucking that's what you do. You have
Speaker 1: to steal the ship.
Speaker 4: So now when he go to bed at night, I go,
Speaker 4: I just want you to know that I love you
Speaker 4: because you do that end of the night. I love
Speaker 4: your speech, and I don't always do that when she's
Speaker 4: not around. But now I'm like, hey man, bring it in,
Speaker 4: bring it in. I love you and everything. No matter what,
Speaker 4: you always loved and you always got people that love you.
Speaker 4: No matter what, you always got people on your side.
Speaker 4: You're never alone.
Speaker 1: She says it a lot better than I do.
Speaker 4: Stealing out the playbook, I'll be blowing bubbles with him.
Speaker 1: Oh you like bubbles? Well, even though I got bubbles too,
Speaker 1: you ain't telling me you like bubbles. I didn't know you.
Speaker 4: You got to steal.
Speaker 1: What do you think is the difference between growing up
Speaker 1: in Alabama versus growing up in New York? Well, shiit,
Speaker 1: what's the major difference?
Speaker 7: Come on, really beyond the obvious, that beyond the up
Speaker 7: because he's raising a child, and okay, raising a child,
Speaker 7: follow up growing up?
Speaker 4: And I would say the biggest difference is that when
Speaker 4: you live in a bigger city, ambition isn't a far
Speaker 4: fetched concept. So the idea of that you can do
Speaker 4: something is not wild because you're around people that do it.
Speaker 4: You're in the city where the thing is being done.
Speaker 4: Whereas in Alabama growing up, like even the concept of
Speaker 4: doing stand up comedy, this ship was another universe. This
Speaker 4: is another world, Like, this is not what you're supposed
Speaker 4: to even be a part of. And you're raised around
Speaker 4: a lot of people that are you know more you know,
Speaker 4: American biolus, and it's very much just get a job,
Speaker 4: get married, love Jesus, and eat barbecue on the fourth
Speaker 4: of July. So the idea of doing something bigger and better,
Speaker 4: like like I've always credited, you know, Ricky Smiley, who
Speaker 4: is you know now a nationally syndicated radio host, but
Speaker 4: he's a comedian and he was the first person from
Speaker 4: Alabama that I ever saw on cable, And so Ricky
Speaker 4: is from like three exits up the freeway. It took
Speaker 4: seeing Ricky Smiley for me to go, oh, I can
Speaker 4: do it. I can be from here and do this.
Speaker 4: You know, when you're from the parts they disregard, you
Speaker 4: find yourself second guessing your dreams because nobody else around
Speaker 4: you has that dream. Nobody else is very few people
Speaker 4: are dreaming beyond the horizon. This is pre internet. I'm
Speaker 4: sure it's a little more different now, but in those days,
Speaker 4: if you didn't see it, you didn't think that you
Speaker 4: could fucking do it, whereas in New York everybody's doing everything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So to.
Speaker 4: Raise a child in this it's dope because I can
Speaker 4: expose him to everything. This boy is six Mandarin, karate,
Speaker 4: fucking a little bit of piano, fucking chest, can can swim,
Speaker 4: can kind of dribble of basketball like that. Like, there's
Speaker 4: so many other things that I can expose him too,
Speaker 4: faster and immediately, and he can see so many different
Speaker 4: types of people. And people think I joke when I
Speaker 4: say this, but I did not meet my first Latino
Speaker 4: until this eighth grade. Wow, just straight up never mentally.
Speaker 4: Team Birmingham is an eighty percent black city. School district
Speaker 4: is predominantly black. Every school I went to was black,
Speaker 4: except for one that I got busted out to for
Speaker 4: a year. And you know, like I didn't get a
Speaker 4: white classmate till the sixth grade, and that was because
Speaker 4: I got busted out. Everything else is just strictly it's
Speaker 4: extremely restrictive, you know, culturally speaking. So you find yourself
Speaker 4: when you get to college discovering like all of this,
Speaker 4: like making in Haitian and like that that was you.
Speaker 3: Just describe my whole ass nationality.
Speaker 4: Yes, all that shit you are. I ain't know about
Speaker 4: that ship till college. And I went to college in Tallahassee.
Speaker 4: I went to Florida and m So it's just a
Speaker 4: bunch of niggas from Miami going I ain't regular black motherfuckers.
Speaker 4: I'm so.
Speaker 3: Not the snort in the microphone away from you.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: You're exposed to more sooner so you never have to
Speaker 4: question whether or not you can do something. Nothing's new
Speaker 4: when you come up in the biggest city. And I
Speaker 4: think that's the thing that has been the biggest like
Speaker 4: difference in raising my kid here. You know, I do
Speaker 4: think that there's certain aspects of the South. I do
Speaker 4: think that the heat Bill's character. I love my boy,
Speaker 4: he's a bit of a house cat. I'm trying to
Speaker 4: get that out of her. Like Southerners in here know
Speaker 4: that humidity. Like I was raised in that did you
Speaker 4: all day heat stroke? You go catch some heat stroke?
Speaker 1: Yeah, heat stroke? Did your mom ever just say like
Speaker 1: go outside and the middle of the day And it.
Speaker 4: Was just absolutely I spent every summer in Clarksdale, Mississippi,
Speaker 4: at my grandma's house when I will get out of
Speaker 4: like second third grade. It's a little town an hour
Speaker 4: south of Memphis. Shout out to Morgan Freeman and Nate Dogg.
Speaker 4: Those are the famous alarms of Clarksdale. Dude, my family
Speaker 4: is from Clarkstone, Mississippi.
Speaker 1: Oh ship, what's up? Cook?
Speaker 4: Yeah? We would be outside all day. The mosquito truck
Speaker 4: will come down the street. We will play in the
Speaker 4: pesticide in my south, all right, a fucking pesticide truck
Speaker 4: every day would just drive down the street, that cloud,
Speaker 4: spraying a cloud down the street, and you would go
Speaker 4: out and play in that cloud.
Speaker 1: No warning, no nothing, No, it's.
Speaker 4: Smelled amazing, fucking DDT bro exfoliance. But yeah, so when
Speaker 4: we go down, like matter of fact, we're going back
Speaker 4: home next weekend. And I got a brother's he loves
Speaker 4: to fish, fish shirt bike racing.
Speaker 3: Do you fish?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: But he does. So I'm gonna sit and watch my
Speaker 4: brother fish and teach my son. Hey, motherfucker, learn about nature.
Speaker 4: Touch the fish, don't be grossed up. Cut it, cut
Speaker 4: it off exactly.
Speaker 1: That type of ship like.
Speaker 4: That, because that's the stuff that in New York I learned.
Speaker 4: And this is something I took for granted coming from
Speaker 4: the South, is that grass is a destination. You don't
Speaker 4: just stumble upon grass. You have to play it. Saturday,
Speaker 4: would you like to go to And it's funny because
Speaker 4: they don't even call it grass. You know what New
Speaker 4: Yorkers called grass the floor, the floor, green space. That's true.
Speaker 1: Like, I won't even just go to the She's like,
Speaker 1: she'll be like, oh, yeah, the chocolate fell on the floor,
Speaker 1: and she means the sidewalk or the ground or the dirt, Like, no,
Speaker 1: that's the ground.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess it comes from ground floor. But I'm like,
Speaker 4: what the fuck you're talking about grass in New York? Like,
Speaker 4: y'all don't just go kick it on it all the time.
Speaker 4: They got a trick y'all with jazz music and food
Speaker 4: trucks take outside?
Speaker 1: Well will there be music?
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: The only time you're gonnas, the Philharmonic will be there.
Speaker 3: This is I'm excited. When you say food truck, I'm like,
Speaker 3: where's my toe bag?
Speaker 4: Like but like that, the idea of you know, raising
Speaker 4: a kid, raising a city kid as a country boy,
Speaker 4: it's just it's weird because I don't know everything. I'm
Speaker 4: not like. That's that's the part that I think I
Speaker 4: have a handicap on is that I don't know everything
Speaker 4: that a New York kid will experience. So I don't
Speaker 4: know if I'm preparing him for everything. So for now,
Speaker 4: I just on some street smarts type shit. So now
Speaker 4: I'm just going through the basics of no, you know, no,
Speaker 4: everybody's phone number. I made our phone numbers the code
Speaker 4: to his tablet so he could learn phone numbers and
Speaker 4: shit like that. Right, smart, you know, And then it's like,
Speaker 4: all right, motherfucker, learn the train, learn your stops.
Speaker 3: It's crazy. I'm sure. I teach my three and a
Speaker 3: half year old twins how to cross the street, and
Speaker 3: I told my kids, when you see the the orange
Speaker 3: hand blink, it's like a high five telling you to stop.
Speaker 2: So just don't cross. But when you see the person,
Speaker 2: you can go. But now every time I wanna bring
Speaker 2: my son outside, he's just like, it's a white.
Speaker 3: Person, we can go.
Speaker 1: Now, yeah, the white man said, it's okay, okay, a
Speaker 1: white person. You gotta say white lights, white lights, like.
Speaker 3: It's a white person. I said, it is, but let's go.
Speaker 3: But plus my husband's white, so I'm like it checks.
Speaker 1: Out, you know what I mean. But you gotta teaching
Speaker 1: across the right way, right, which is like not just
Speaker 1: the person. It's like the person. You see the person,
Speaker 1: you don't just go. Then you gotta look wait for
Speaker 1: that biker to come by. Yeah, you gotta check the
Speaker 1: bike lanes. You know.
Speaker 4: Hit on the swivel is what I say. Uh, when
Speaker 4: he's when we ride bikes down the sidewalk to go
Speaker 4: to the West Side Highway, which is really like the
Speaker 4: only place we really ride, hit on the swivel, checking driveways,
Speaker 4: checking your blind spots. Like, but what I'm trying to
Speaker 4: do now, because you know he's going in the first grade,
Speaker 4: he's got to learn these cross streets.
Speaker 1: You have to know.
Speaker 4: And I don't know if that's just some coming up
Speaker 4: in you know, a bit of a bit of a
Speaker 4: military uristic home and then what little bit I did
Speaker 4: learn in JROTC. Just you just got to know where
Speaker 4: you are right, know where you're at, motherfucker, and figure out. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but that's what I do when we ride bikes. When
Speaker 4: we go out, We'll take the West Side all the
Speaker 4: way down from fucking Harlem and I'm like, all right, now,
Speaker 4: get us home.
Speaker 1: Oh God.
Speaker 3: It's like they do this thing in Holland callt drop offs.
Speaker 2: When you're like eleven or thirteen, your parents will just
Speaker 2: drop you off somewhere blindfolding, and then you have to
Speaker 2: they take the blindfold off and you have to figure
Speaker 2: your way back out.
Speaker 3: So it's fun. You should meet my mother in law.
Speaker 1: Listen, you guys, I get that concept.
Speaker 4: Like, I understand, I'm not going to go to that
Speaker 4: extreme because motherfucker's be kidnapping. But self reliance. Yeah, but
Speaker 4: it needs to learn that self reliance and how not
Speaker 4: to panic. And I feel like that's my job.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is your job.
Speaker 2: It's the hardest job that you will never pay taxes on,
Speaker 2: now besides besides marriage, which you do pay tax Anyways,
Speaker 2: the audience had written down.
Speaker 3: Some questions about adulting. We're gonna ask them now, you're
Speaker 3: cool with that.
Speaker 4: I'm ready, Okay, I'm ready.
Speaker 2: What are your thoughts on bringing back separate beds living
Speaker 2: spaces for couples?
Speaker 4: I lived with a woman and I snore and she
Speaker 4: wasn't with that shit. So we kind of had that
Speaker 4: fucking nineteen fifty sitcom.
Speaker 3: Hello Lucy.
Speaker 4: Yeah but no, well they slept in the same room,
Speaker 4: on the same room.
Speaker 3: But no, you're done with it.
Speaker 4: I know couples who do it. I think it's I
Speaker 4: don't want to, but I'm I'm hesitant to call anything weird.
Speaker 1: I oh, I'll do it.
Speaker 3: I think it's weird, but.
Speaker 4: No, because if it works for you, all, fucking fuck it.
Speaker 4: Because like what rule says that we should both be
Speaker 4: unconscious beside each other? How possessive are we? I'm in
Speaker 4: the house, wow around the corner, fucking I know.
Speaker 1: You know what it is.
Speaker 2: It really feels like you get to spend time with
Speaker 2: your mate without talking, and I love that.
Speaker 6: I have to say, you.
Speaker 1: Wonder why I go through so many questions, but here's
Speaker 1: one that just is a full.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: My relationship status as flying solo and childless and healthy,
Speaker 1: platonic and deep friendship with my bestie has sparked rumors
Speaker 1: of us being oh my god, of us being a
Speaker 1: queer couple. I don't hate it. Should I just sit
Speaker 1: back and see? Yes?
Speaker 3: Sorry?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 4: Should you fuck your roommate because everybody think you fucking
Speaker 4: your roommate?
Speaker 1: Is that what they ask you?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: Because that's what that's sound us. What the question is? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I forget who told me this because I talked to
Speaker 2: too many people. But you could have more than one soulmate.
Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be your husband or wife or
Speaker 2: whatever the fuck. It could be one of your best friends.
Speaker 2: It could be your par it could be whoever, and
Speaker 2: it could be more than one.
Speaker 4: Right, but should you fuck him? Should you fuck that
Speaker 4: extra like if you get a bonus soul mate?
Speaker 1: Do you know?
Speaker 3: Okay, well, listen, this is what I think only because
Speaker 3: you asked.
Speaker 2: Being a straight person and then realizing that you might
Speaker 2: be attracted to someone of the same sex is a
Speaker 2: very scary thing because you've already defined who you are
Speaker 2: and she might not be gay but has a connection
Speaker 2: with you, and so that is very scary for someone.
Speaker 2: But if she is going to at least acknowledge her
Speaker 2: feelings should be with a really close friend like you.
Speaker 2: I think if you're really interested, perhaps a day trip
Speaker 2: or a weekend away where you guys really can just
Speaker 2: hang out and.
Speaker 3: Focus on each other and bring it up.
Speaker 2: And if she's scared, like you have to respect that, right,
Speaker 2: but let her know that you will always be there
Speaker 2: for her if she ever wants to come to the
Speaker 2: other side.
Speaker 3: How you guys, let me get to it. Love is love.
Speaker 1: Question on Oh you gotta follow up question for you? Oh?
Speaker 4: Okay, how does she approach that without jeopardizing their friendship? Right?
Speaker 3: That's the thing?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: So I think you ask her a question and let
Speaker 3: her do most of the talking.
Speaker 4: Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: This is really about how she feels? Do you know
Speaker 3: what I mean?
Speaker 2: It's on her because we know how you feel and
Speaker 2: you don't want to scare her away and be like,
Speaker 2: what I'm proposing is do you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: It's getting to a deeper level of friendship that you.
Speaker 3: Guys already have.
Speaker 4: May I suggest something? Oh yes, it is a filthy
Speaker 4: ass forty three year old man.
Speaker 1: Oh no, oh god? What is the offer here? At
Speaker 1: first I was.
Speaker 4: Gonna say, watch porn together. Here's the move. I've been
Speaker 4: reading this book. There's a book. There's a book that
Speaker 4: I read called You Can't Lie to Me. It's written
Speaker 4: by a former FBI interrogator who interrogated Guantanomo and al
Speaker 4: Qaeda and like all types of yeah, it's okay. It's
Speaker 4: a woman who made forty years as reading people. And
Speaker 4: the book breaks down how to read emotions and how
Speaker 4: to read micro expressions and all of that type of shit. Right, Okay, So,
Speaker 4: like Netflix got a lot of they got a lot
Speaker 4: of like queer shows, Like they got a lot of
Speaker 4: shows that talk about from various aspects of the love spectrum. Right,
Speaker 4: some of them shows, they be fucking watch one of
Speaker 4: them shows and wait till they get to one of
Speaker 4: the love scenes and then you watch her.
Speaker 2: Yes, I think it's more than physical if you're talking
Speaker 2: about intimate bonds and deeper level friendship. So it's more
Speaker 2: of like a safe space for her to explore, and
Speaker 2: you might have to if it does go down, take
Speaker 2: the lead. And so I mean, I'm excited for you,
Speaker 2: but I'm also nervous because I feel like, no matter what,
Speaker 2: it should be a friendship.
Speaker 1: Yes, let's get to the next question. Yeah, this one
Speaker 1: has a literal interor bang. It's like, why can't I
Speaker 1: get a dating?
Speaker 4: And why?
Speaker 1: Say? Maybe because you do too much?
Speaker 3: That sounds like a type a person that needs to
Speaker 3: make a reservation three days in. Yeah, is this your question?
Speaker 1: Why won't my wife date me?
Speaker 3: Dude?
Speaker 2: Dating, especially during COVID in NYC is fucking crazy, Like
Speaker 2: it is safer to suck a salty.
Speaker 3: Dick than to hug your grandma. So I don't know
Speaker 3: what to do for you, right, mom?
Speaker 1: H New York City's very tough. I will admit it
Speaker 1: feels like there's there's definitely. People don't have time for
Speaker 1: anything except for like watching somebody impersonate Michael Jackson on
Speaker 1: the subway. Yes, I don't have that guy.
Speaker 3: I always over too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's great. They don't have time for anything, right,
Speaker 1: They just even in dating. It feels like you could
Speaker 1: get one date, maybe another, but then the person will
Speaker 1: just lose interests because they can go find somebody else.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a buffet. Everyone's got options, So lock it
Speaker 2: the fuck down. If you're interested, don't overthink. You know,
Speaker 2: that's the fuck dude.
Speaker 3: If you like someone, there's probably not gonna be someone
Speaker 3: fucking better.
Speaker 1: So just do it. May I get the fuck down,
Speaker 1: sit on it, spit on.
Speaker 3: It, do whatever the fuck you gotta do. Get the
Speaker 3: fuck down, air horn.
Speaker 1: Or or or and or okay, and or My friend
Speaker 1: just started going to Philadelphia and got married. Wow. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's got two kids and everything.
Speaker 3: Oh wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So she found him in Philadelphia and brought him
Speaker 1: back up here, now was it? Yeah?
Speaker 3: He was like, all right, she she outsourced the dick.
Speaker 3: That's interesting.
Speaker 4: Like college football, you ain't got a recruit in your region,
Speaker 4: fine athletes all over the country. You want to completely
Speaker 4: so many prospects. What financial advice would you give a
Speaker 4: broke millennial?
Speaker 1: Oh god, oh yuck. You know what, go to Treasurydirect
Speaker 1: dot of right now. What you can do is there's
Speaker 1: Treasury Treasury bonds, Yes, an I bond which is index
Speaker 1: to the interest rates which are going up as we know.
Speaker 1: Ten thousand dollars you can put in this year. But
Speaker 1: that's but let me tell you something. It's a night.
Speaker 1: You're not gonna find a better deal around here. At
Speaker 1: nine percent, you can't lose on a bond. This is
Speaker 1: your dad talking to you right now. Also, don't put
Speaker 1: your money in crypto. Don't do it, don't do it. Wow.
Speaker 4: My advice to broke millennial would be, don't fuck your
Speaker 4: roommate unless the least about to be up. That's a
Speaker 4: real ass is more valuable than a soulmate. In this
Speaker 4: animal York nug he's dropping.
Speaker 1: You want to ask us on is it normal to
Speaker 1: be exhausted by people that ask no questions?
Speaker 2: What is it normal to be follow that up with
Speaker 2: a question that's so crazy? Yeah, yeah, I don't understand.
Speaker 2: It's a two way street, like have a conference.
Speaker 1: No, that's not no. I think they're with somebody that
Speaker 1: doesn't ask any questions. I think they're dating somebody that
Speaker 1: doesn't ask questions, and that that person seems like they're
Speaker 1: just They either are disinterested, yes.
Speaker 3: Or have a family. You're the side piece. They're fucking tired.
Speaker 3: I don't know what to tell you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they're not curious about you, you're not interesting?
Speaker 3: Or what's your question?
Speaker 4: I'm forty two? Am I too old to wear T shirts?
Speaker 4: With prints?
Speaker 1: With prints? Or severe? Last question?
Speaker 4: There's a forty three year old man. Let me say
Speaker 4: something to you. You are too old, unless unless you're
Speaker 4: into music or it's some vintage T shirts. If we're
Speaker 4: talking like your favorite cartoon from two years ago, Like,
Speaker 4: I don't want to see you in a Rick.
Speaker 1: And Morty T shirt like that.
Speaker 4: ThunderCats allowable ThunderCats, you go old school? Fine, but if
Speaker 4: you're like, look at me, I am wearing a Bob's
Speaker 4: Burgers fus No, I don't think so. I think that'd
Speaker 4: be you. So. I think the problem, though, is that
Speaker 4: if you dress, if you're dress in a way that
Speaker 4: is acceptable to people that don't matter, then you attract
Speaker 4: the wrong people and then you do my food going.
Speaker 4: Why can't I date in New York.
Speaker 1: Ah. Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean when people stay dressed for the job
Speaker 2: you want, that also means in life like just in life,
Speaker 2: like just for the life you want, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean?
Speaker 4: I don't know, but this is coming from a guy
Speaker 4: who's dated a woman who had an issue with some
Speaker 4: of the shit that he wore and the like in
Speaker 4: the back half. I kind of regretted that ship because
Speaker 4: I was like, Uh, broke up. Fuck that, what's my
Speaker 4: Gui Joe shirt? Put that shit back on immediately, because
Speaker 4: that's who I am. You know, eighty seventy percent of
Speaker 4: the time I'm dressed down. But you thought you was
Speaker 4: getting daily show suit nigga around the clock.
Speaker 1: No, that is a character, right.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't be able to be with someone if I
Speaker 3: didn't like how they dress. Period. It's a thing that
Speaker 3: attracts me.
Speaker 2: And I don't need someone to be on some Kanye
Speaker 2: West shit Like you don't need to like come up
Speaker 2: with like a new line.
Speaker 6: You know what I mean.
Speaker 3: You don't have to have the hottest shit.
Speaker 2: But it really, to me is like pride in yourself,
Speaker 2: and to me, that's fucking attractive.
Speaker 4: Where is the line between someone leveling you up and
Speaker 4: them altering you into what they wish that actually dated.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think that's the hard part.
Speaker 3: I think when they buy you something and then keep
Speaker 3: asking you to wear it.
Speaker 4: Right, I've been in that type of relationship before.
Speaker 1: It's like that shit in the movie Vertigo where he's like,
Speaker 1: where this the green dress?
Speaker 3: Seen Vertigo? Or if it's just Jordan okay?
Speaker 1: Oh for fullyable?
Speaker 3: All right, all right, anyways, this has been amazing.
Speaker 2: Hey, Roy, we ask every guest, what is the most
Speaker 2: adult thing you want to do for yourself this year
Speaker 2: that you haven't done yet.
Speaker 4: I want to go to South Korea to watch baseball.
Speaker 1: Amazing fucking around you were not fucking around.
Speaker 4: I want to watch I love baseball, and South Korean
Speaker 4: baseball in Japanese baseball too. It's like a college football atmosphere,
Speaker 4: but baseball is happening around you. And if you don't
Speaker 4: fuck with baseball, you're not gonna understand why this makes
Speaker 4: me happy. But I don't know. I just it's the
Speaker 4: sport that I love, is the sport I grew up,
Speaker 4: and to be able to see it somewhere else played differently,
Speaker 4: that's the only thing I'm looking forward to. That I
Speaker 4: gotta perform in Hawaiian two weeks and there's a there's
Speaker 4: a dope ass hot dog placed three islands up from Honolulu,
Speaker 4: and motherfucker, I promise you, I'm going to have me
Speaker 4: a goddamn pooka dog, Poka dog nigga. And the bread
Speaker 4: is a tube and they put the hot dog in
Speaker 4: the tube of bread. There's no openings. I don't even
Speaker 4: know how the engineer this shit. It's just fucking the
Speaker 4: puka dog. And that's Those are the two things gonna
Speaker 4: go three islands. Only reason I took the gig in
Speaker 4: fucking Honolulu is so I can't go to the other island.
Speaker 3: That is so real.
Speaker 1: Please give it up for unbelievable.
Speaker 2: Oh man, wait a minute, but I mean Reywood Junior
Speaker 2: tickles me silly. I loved his answer for what's the
Speaker 2: most adult thing you want to do for yourself? Going
Speaker 2: to go see a baseball game in South Korea is
Speaker 2: definitely one of the most original answers we've heard, and
Speaker 2: I'm obsessed with that. Like I've been talking to my
Speaker 2: friends about it. I'm like, have you seen games in
Speaker 2: different countries? And They're like, we have, and it is
Speaker 2: such a great experience. The air is different, the soda
Speaker 2: is different, you know, the conversations are different, like how
Speaker 2: people act and stuff. And I'm like, he has inspired
Speaker 2: me to put that on my adulting list.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, you're gonna go put the soul and soul.
Speaker 1: You're gonna go watch baseball in South Korea?
Speaker 2: No, not that, but I definitely would love to go
Speaker 2: see a soccer and or a football game in Holland
Speaker 2: the next time I go.
Speaker 1: Oh see, Okay, okay, okay, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: It's never been one of my priorities. It's like, let's
Speaker 2: go to a nice dinner, let's get a nice cocktail.
Speaker 2: But it's like, there are other things to do in
Speaker 2: life besides eating drink. Not many that I love, but
Speaker 2: that is one.
Speaker 1: What about you and me? You and me? Yes at Wimbledon? Yes,
Speaker 1: tennis whites, Yes on a Sunday. Yes, think about it.
Speaker 1: Answer me with your eyes.
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's go. Are you serious?
Speaker 2: I'll get some security detail and people will be like, damn,
Speaker 2: Megan marco Let herself gone, we don't know Megan that
Speaker 2: black friends like that. That'd be great, that'd be great.
Speaker 2: You know what the first time I ever went to
Speaker 2: a tennis game. Was with my husband in Queens and
Speaker 2: because he loves tennis, you was open, yes, yes, And
Speaker 2: I didn't realize that.
Speaker 3: I was like like a black person in a movie theater.
Speaker 3: I was like, you better go girl, but nobody was
Speaker 3: doing that. It was like I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I love. I want a one day go to like
Speaker 1: I want to see the Paris Open. I want to
Speaker 1: see the red clay of it all. You know. I
Speaker 1: want to go to Wimbley Done. I want to see
Speaker 1: the grass of it all. I've gone, you know, I've
Speaker 1: gone to US opened me on concrete because it's New
Speaker 1: York City on concrete. It's it's more like it's Wheeler.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: I love that the US Open. I've never seen so
Speaker 2: many Cheetah sneakers. Just it's a lot of cheetah. I'm
Speaker 2: just gonna go ahead.
Speaker 1: And say that a lot of cheetah sneakers.
Speaker 3: A lot of cheetah sneakers. I don't know why, or
Speaker 3: how or when cheetah print. Cheetah print.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to listen, kicking in listen, you're painting a picture,
Speaker 1: and I love because you have to understand that you're
Speaker 1: in Queens, so that's very accessible to Long Island. So
Speaker 1: you're getting people from Long Island on that ron conka
Speaker 1: a train, on that wine dance of it all. They're
Speaker 1: coming right there, you know, and and I know it
Speaker 1: Long Eyelands a wrong.
Speaker 2: Speaking of which, what's your preferred cocktail at a game?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, oh wow?
Speaker 4: I do?
Speaker 1: I usually ask for like a rye and ginger, Like
Speaker 1: just a rye whiskey with ginger out. Yeah, it's a
Speaker 1: little twist of lime. You know. It's a It's a
Speaker 1: very refreshing bev and keeps you, keeps you cool? You know,
Speaker 1: does you? It doesn't? What do you like?
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna have to say rose all day, honey,
Speaker 2: put some more ice in it and let me sip sip.
Speaker 3: I hate when they don't let me take a double.
Speaker 3: Let me have a double.
Speaker 2: I'm a tired as mom with backfat and freckles, delicious,
Speaker 2: and I've worked really hard to settled the afternoon to
Speaker 2: go give me a double. I am drinking responsible because
Speaker 2: I'm taking a uber or lyft whatever.
Speaker 1: My dream, yes, my dream at the US Open is
Speaker 1: to have one of those like boxes one day when
Speaker 1: I win the lotto and get a paper route. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get one of those boxes and then.
Speaker 2: You feel, Jordan, we will this and you know what
Speaker 2: I want to do. I want to do a box
Speaker 2: and I want to have a rotisserie chicken all to
Speaker 2: myself with no four knife. How I watch a game
Speaker 2: at home is how I want to watch a game
Speaker 2: in public.
Speaker 1: Just yes, yes, going yes, he just with a breast,
Speaker 1: just like marinating it.
Speaker 3: Just licking my mummum delicious. No high fiving, no high fiving,
Speaker 3: just yummy.
Speaker 2: You have to be like all fancy and cute when
Speaker 2: you go to like sporting events and then you go
Speaker 2: to like the area where the cool people hang, and
Speaker 2: it's always like miniature, bite sized bull shit. Just give
Speaker 2: me a whole rag. Why are you giving me us
Speaker 2: spoon of macrimony and cheese?
Speaker 1: I want a bowl you want Listen when we went
Speaker 1: to that Jets game, which was questionable at best, like,
Speaker 1: I know, wait, let's set it up.
Speaker 2: I got tickets to a Jets game and I thought
Speaker 2: it was gonna be in New York and it was
Speaker 2: in Jersey, and I was like, this is a lot
Speaker 2: further than.
Speaker 3: I didn't even know.
Speaker 1: Who's gonna tell us.
Speaker 2: Like nobody to the GPS told me, and I invited
Speaker 2: you and your wife and it was like, definitely in
Speaker 2: the middle of the COVID and I don't know that
Speaker 2: you want to go to Jersey in the middle of
Speaker 2: COVID and a sports event because it was all noses.
Speaker 2: Everybody's nose was out, nobody was vaccinated.
Speaker 3: It was wild.
Speaker 2: But what I do love about you and your wife,
Speaker 2: even though you guys are petite people, you pack your plate.
Speaker 1: Up, put it away, and then you and then your wife.
Speaker 2: I love it because if it's like a good smoked salmon,
Speaker 2: she's like, oh, you gotta go see what they got
Speaker 2: with it.
Speaker 1: Like it's a secret.
Speaker 3: It's a secret.
Speaker 1: They put a whole they put a whole pork shoulder
Speaker 1: in the bloody Mary. I was like, yes, it was crazy.
Speaker 4: I just like I.
Speaker 1: Was so dehydrated by the end of the y'all. Of course,
Speaker 1: we're like logical and like we're like we're getting out
Speaker 1: of here. You're like making big eyes and us We're like, Nah,
Speaker 1: this is gonna be great. It's the Jets. Why not
Speaker 1: risk at all? Why not risk my life for the Jets.
Speaker 1: Let's do it.
Speaker 2: You guys got there before us and left after us.
Speaker 2: I'm like, we're gonna go now.
Speaker 1: And they won. The Jets won. That was the craziest part.
Speaker 1: That was the only game they won.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I love that you guys appreciate things too.
Speaker 2: They gave us a hat, all of us hats, and
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, another hat that won't fit my head.
Speaker 3: And you were like, look at the quality of this hat.
Speaker 3: Submit did you feel the rip? Oh?
Speaker 2: It is so good and it's washable and soft. And
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, just into the hat. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: give like somebody I don't know because.
Speaker 1: I'm such a jigglo for free stuff though, I'm just.
Speaker 3: Like, you really are. It made you so happy. I
Speaker 3: was like, should I give him this one?
Speaker 1: You should have? And then later on I was like
Speaker 1: in the dead of winter, I was like, whe're not
Speaker 1: gonna chat sap from It's like oh yeah, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah yeah. I can't throw it away now. I mean,
Speaker 1: who's gonna take it?
Speaker 3: Nobody.
Speaker 1: It's like trying to throw out a recycling can. Ain't
Speaker 1: nobody gonna take that. You better put it back. It's
Speaker 1: gonna keep washing up like a bad penny. This was fun.
Speaker 3: Now, I have to go clean my closet.
Speaker 1: Do it all right, Marie Condo?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I gotta go, spark joy and say hi to
Speaker 3: my house. Bye everyone, Thanks for joining us. Natalie, come
Speaker 3: fix it.
Speaker 1: This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 3: Our senior producer is Natalie Wrinn.
Speaker 1: Senior Managing Producer is Hannah Kyle Kraichny.
Speaker 3: This episode was sound design and.
Speaker 1: Engineered by Ryobam.
Speaker 3: Our guest booker is Patrick Cotner.
Speaker 1: Our theme song in live show DJing is by DJ
Speaker 1: don Well.
Speaker 2: This Bellhouse Show was produced by Olivia Levine. Photography by
Speaker 2: Fender Most, artwork.
Speaker 1: By Jamie Bechtel.
Speaker 2: Executive produced by Karen Kilgarriff, Georgia Harstark, and Danielle Kramer.
Speaker 1: Follow the show on Instagram at Adulting the Pot.
Speaker 2: Email your questions to Adulting Questions at gmail dot com