WEBVTT - You don't get what you don't ask for

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is to ask for what you want because

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<v Speaker 1>you often won't get what you don't ask for. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>you might, but the odds are lower than if you

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<v Speaker 1>say what is on your mind. Today's tip comes from

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<v Speaker 1>a discussion on the Patreon page for my other podcast,

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<v Speaker 1>Best of Both Worlds. My co host Sarah and I

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<v Speaker 1>ask people about the best career advice they've gotten. A

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<v Speaker 1>listener mentioned realizing that she likely wouldn't get what she

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<v Speaker 1>didn't ask for, so if she truly wanted something, she

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<v Speaker 1>needed to ask. I think this is great advice. So

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<v Speaker 1>often we assume that people know what we want, or

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<v Speaker 1>that they should know what we want. Whether it's your

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<v Speaker 1>boss knowing that you want to be staffed on a

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<v Speaker 1>particular project or your spouse knowing that you want flowers

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<v Speaker 1>for your anniversary, people often believe their hopes are apparent

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<v Speaker 1>to everyone around them. What's funny is that this fallacy

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<v Speaker 1>becomes immediately apparent when you reverse the situation. Do you

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<v Speaker 1>know exactly what your spouse wants? What your boss wants?

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<v Speaker 1>Has every gift you've given, or every idea you've offered

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<v Speaker 1>up been the equivalent of a home run. No how interesting,

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<v Speaker 1>we all live in our own little worlds, and consequently,

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<v Speaker 1>what is obvious to us isn't to everyone else, no

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<v Speaker 1>matter how much we believe it should be. People often

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<v Speaker 1>do not know what you want. They don't know even

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<v Speaker 1>if they really love you, or respect you or know

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<v Speaker 1>you very well. You can spend your time lamenting this

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<v Speaker 1>and ruminating that if perhaps they loved or respected you more,

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<v Speaker 1>they would know. But you know what else you could

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<v Speaker 1>do at that time? State what you want explicitly so

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<v Speaker 1>you have a better shot at getting it. So, if

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<v Speaker 1>there is something you want at work, tell your boss

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<v Speaker 1>about it. Ask for it. Whether that's a promotion, the

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<v Speaker 1>opportunity to be staffed on a particular project, a chance

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<v Speaker 1>to present at your team meeting, direct reports, an offset

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<v Speaker 1>schedule that involves coming in early and leaving early, or

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<v Speaker 1>anything else. No one can read your mind, So state

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<v Speaker 1>what you want and need. You may not get everything

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<v Speaker 1>you ask for, but you're a lot more likely to

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<v Speaker 1>get what you want if you do ask for it.

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<v Speaker 1>Then if you just wait around for the career fairy

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<v Speaker 1>to drop it into your lap. The wisdom of asking

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<v Speaker 1>for what you want is true at home. To let

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<v Speaker 1>your family members know what you want, whether that's for

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<v Speaker 1>them to say thank you before they say anything else

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<v Speaker 1>about dinner, or to give you a handwritten note on

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<v Speaker 1>your birthday, or to give you a handwritten note on

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<v Speaker 1>your birthday, or to put their plates in the dishwasher

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<v Speaker 1>after dinner. Should the dishwasher thing be obvious, probably, but

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<v Speaker 1>so it goes. Asking makes it happen. Seething silently might not.

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<v Speaker 1>My daughter recently turned ten, and in addition to asking

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<v Speaker 1>for certain things, she told me how she wanted her

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<v Speaker 1>presence to be wrapped. Namely, she knew we had a

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<v Speaker 1>certain mix of wrapping paper rolls in the upstairs closet,

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<v Speaker 1>and she wanted her presence wrapped in the paper with stars.

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<v Speaker 1>This was a very easy request to fulfill. I was

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<v Speaker 1>going to wrap her presence in something, and I would

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<v Speaker 1>much rather do what she wants then find out later

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<v Speaker 1>that she had a desire and was disappointed. She two,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't want to be disappointed, since she told me

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<v Speaker 1>what she wanted, I didn't have to guess. What a

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<v Speaker 1>smart kid, because when you let people know what you want,

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<v Speaker 1>you are a lot more likely to get it. Is

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<v Speaker 1>there anything you are assuming others know that you want,

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<v Speaker 1>consider whether it would be wise to ask for it.

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<v Speaker 1>Most likely, the worst that could happen is that the

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<v Speaker 1>other person will say no, And the best that could

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<v Speaker 1>happen is that you will actually get what you want.

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<v Speaker 1>On the whole, those sound like pretty good odds. In

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<v Speaker 1>the meantime, This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's

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<v Speaker 1>to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd

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<v Speaker 1>love to hear from you. You can send me your tips,

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<v Speaker 1>your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook,

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<v Speaker 1>and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's B the number four,

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<v Speaker 1>then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me

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<v Speaker 1>an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media

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<v Speaker 1>dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all

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<v Speaker 1>the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to staying

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<v Speaker 1>in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the i

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<v Speaker 1>heart Radio app. Apple podcasts are wherever you listen to

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<v Speaker 1>your favorite shows. Yeah mhm