1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 1: Today's tip is to ask for what you want because 4 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: you often won't get what you don't ask for. I mean, 5 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 1: you might, but the odds are lower than if you 6 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:35,080 Speaker 1: say what is on your mind. Today's tip comes from 7 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: a discussion on the Patreon page for my other podcast, 8 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 1: Best of Both Worlds. My co host Sarah and I 9 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:46,479 Speaker 1: ask people about the best career advice they've gotten. A 10 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:50,159 Speaker 1: listener mentioned realizing that she likely wouldn't get what she 11 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: didn't ask for, so if she truly wanted something, she 12 00:00:55,600 --> 00:01:00,080 Speaker 1: needed to ask. I think this is great advice. So 13 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:04,760 Speaker 1: often we assume that people know what we want, or 14 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 1: that they should know what we want. Whether it's your 15 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,039 Speaker 1: boss knowing that you want to be staffed on a 16 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:14,880 Speaker 1: particular project or your spouse knowing that you want flowers 17 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 1: for your anniversary, people often believe their hopes are apparent 18 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 1: to everyone around them. What's funny is that this fallacy 19 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 1: becomes immediately apparent when you reverse the situation. Do you 20 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:34,639 Speaker 1: know exactly what your spouse wants? What your boss wants? 21 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: Has every gift you've given, or every idea you've offered 22 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:45,720 Speaker 1: up been the equivalent of a home run. No how interesting, 23 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 1: we all live in our own little worlds, and consequently, 24 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 1: what is obvious to us isn't to everyone else, no 25 00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:00,840 Speaker 1: matter how much we believe it should be. People often 26 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 1: do not know what you want. They don't know even 27 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 1: if they really love you, or respect you or know 28 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:13,079 Speaker 1: you very well. You can spend your time lamenting this 29 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 1: and ruminating that if perhaps they loved or respected you more, 30 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 1: they would know. But you know what else you could 31 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:24,280 Speaker 1: do at that time? State what you want explicitly so 32 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:28,520 Speaker 1: you have a better shot at getting it. So, if 33 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 1: there is something you want at work, tell your boss 34 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 1: about it. Ask for it. Whether that's a promotion, the 35 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:41,000 Speaker 1: opportunity to be staffed on a particular project, a chance 36 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 1: to present at your team meeting, direct reports, an offset 37 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: schedule that involves coming in early and leaving early, or 38 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 1: anything else. No one can read your mind, So state 39 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:58,119 Speaker 1: what you want and need. You may not get everything 40 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,880 Speaker 1: you ask for, but you're a lot more likely to 41 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,639 Speaker 1: get what you want if you do ask for it. 42 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:06,639 Speaker 1: Then if you just wait around for the career fairy 43 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 1: to drop it into your lap. The wisdom of asking 44 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:13,799 Speaker 1: for what you want is true at home. To let 45 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:17,080 Speaker 1: your family members know what you want, whether that's for 46 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 1: them to say thank you before they say anything else 47 00:03:19,919 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 1: about dinner, or to give you a handwritten note on 48 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 1: your birthday, or to give you a handwritten note on 49 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 1: your birthday, or to put their plates in the dishwasher 50 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 1: after dinner. Should the dishwasher thing be obvious, probably, but 51 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:43,120 Speaker 1: so it goes. Asking makes it happen. Seething silently might not. 52 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 1: My daughter recently turned ten, and in addition to asking 53 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:52,240 Speaker 1: for certain things, she told me how she wanted her 54 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 1: presence to be wrapped. Namely, she knew we had a 55 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 1: certain mix of wrapping paper rolls in the upstairs closet, 56 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 1: and she wanted her presence wrapped in the paper with stars. 57 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:09,840 Speaker 1: This was a very easy request to fulfill. I was 58 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 1: going to wrap her presence in something, and I would 59 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 1: much rather do what she wants then find out later 60 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:22,120 Speaker 1: that she had a desire and was disappointed. She two, 61 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 1: I didn't want to be disappointed, since she told me 62 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:30,719 Speaker 1: what she wanted, I didn't have to guess. What a 63 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:34,479 Speaker 1: smart kid, because when you let people know what you want, 64 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:39,479 Speaker 1: you are a lot more likely to get it. Is 65 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 1: there anything you are assuming others know that you want, 66 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 1: consider whether it would be wise to ask for it. 67 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,839 Speaker 1: Most likely, the worst that could happen is that the 68 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:54,600 Speaker 1: other person will say no, And the best that could 69 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 1: happen is that you will actually get what you want. 70 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 1: On the whole, those sound like pretty good odds. In 71 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 1: the meantime, This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's 72 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:19,039 Speaker 1: to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd 73 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,520 Speaker 1: love to hear from you. You can send me your tips, 74 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:26,159 Speaker 1: your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook, 75 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's B the number four, 76 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:35,800 Speaker 1: then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me 77 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 1: an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media 78 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,200 Speaker 1: dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all 79 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:45,040 Speaker 1: the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to staying 80 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:53,719 Speaker 1: in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I Heart Radio. 81 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:57,200 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the i 82 00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:00,800 Speaker 1: heart Radio app. Apple podcasts are wherever you listen to 83 00:06:00,839 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 1: your favorite shows. Yeah mhm