Speaker 1: Oh ship as well?
Speaker 2: Yes, who is this?
Speaker 1: Shep?
Speaker 3: Like shepherd?
Speaker 2: Shep? What's up? Shep? How you doing?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I not bad?
Speaker 2: How are you hanging in there? How can I get
Speaker 2: you today? Shep?
Speaker 3: Well, I've got kind of a weird story. So my
Speaker 3: ex girlfriend tried to brainwash me with ayahuasca, but I
Speaker 3: kind of knew that she was trying to brainwash me,
Speaker 3: so it didn't work. But through the process of ayahuasca,
Speaker 3: I kind of got real in touch on myself and
Speaker 3: I figured out that I was still in love with
Speaker 3: her cousin who I met when I was six.
Speaker 4: Where should we start with this? So she tried to
Speaker 4: like did she did she drug you?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: So we were in a long term relationship. It was
Speaker 3: pretty imbalanced.
Speaker 1: It was like a very toxic relationship.
Speaker 3: But I shouldn't have been in and it was all
Speaker 3: kind of falling apart. I kind of had enough of it,
Speaker 3: and she's just a retreat and she'd already had like
Speaker 3: an ego death on MDMA and kind of confessed to
Speaker 3: all this manipulative stuff that she was doing in the relationship,
Speaker 3: and that was really interesting.
Speaker 2: But then what what kind of what kind of manipulative stuff?
Speaker 3: Kind of like emotionally just has her hold over me
Speaker 3: and kind of everyone else in her family, to be honest,
Speaker 3: has control of what everyone does, all their decisions, like
Speaker 3: she had like I can message my friends or my
Speaker 3: mom without her knowing about her. She had control over
Speaker 3: what I bought, where I went, what I did. It
Speaker 3: was kind of crazy.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so she had this ego death.
Speaker 3: On MDMA and realized she was doing all of this,
Speaker 3: which was really interesting. But then where when it wore off,
Speaker 3: she kind of started to freak out because she like
Speaker 3: exposed herself, I guess, and then started trying to paint
Speaker 3: me out as being some kind of nascist manipulation and stuff,
Speaker 3: and her craziness sort of ramped up a lot. And yeah,
Speaker 3: so then she suggested we go to csio Oasca Tree and.
Speaker 1: I was open to her because I'd read a bit about.
Speaker 3: Her and I thought, yeah, it sounds good. It could
Speaker 3: be good for me and she might get something out
Speaker 3: of it, who knows. But then on the plane on
Speaker 3: the way over there, I was sat on the plane
Speaker 3: and she gave me a phone to like lock something
Speaker 3: down about the flights or something. I don't know what
Speaker 3: it was, And so I opened up notes, and I
Speaker 3: saw on her phone this note that said a destabilization,
Speaker 3: a technique used in brainwashing, and I was like, what's
Speaker 3: this And she gave me this weird look like she
Speaker 3: kind of bared her teeth and she was like, oh,
Speaker 3: that's that's to do with my sister in law sort
Speaker 3: of thing, and just tried to brush it off, but
Speaker 3: it was pretty suss and I was just kind of like, okay,
Speaker 3: And I mean the noteening about destabilization, like after my
Speaker 3: aahuasca ceremonies, she was basically like destabilizing as suck. She
Speaker 3: tried to kind of interrogate me and tell me what
Speaker 3: all my visions men and time?
Speaker 2: What's what's your name again? Man? Yep, sheep, sheep. Let
Speaker 2: me ask you something.
Speaker 4: And I'm not I promise you, I'm not saying this
Speaker 4: as like a in like a blaming sense. I'm asking
Speaker 4: you this because I genuinely want to know, like sincerely,
Speaker 4: how your brain kind of processed all this. But when
Speaker 4: she told you all these these things and ways that
Speaker 4: she manipulated you, and how she was trying to keep
Speaker 4: you from your friends and you know, your family and
Speaker 4: and and all this stuff.
Speaker 2: Why did you what stopped you from from from leaving.
Speaker 3: So it was a really codependent sort of situation. So
Speaker 3: a lot of the relationship I didn't feel like I
Speaker 3: could leave, goes very isolated. But at the same time,
Speaker 3: I felt like I'd seen something good in her that
Speaker 3: I kind of wanted to get through to. And kind
Speaker 3: of the plot kind of thickens because by this point,
Speaker 3: I think we had our son was like a year
Speaker 3: and a half old.
Speaker 2: Oh you guys have a kid together.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, So I was really trying to get through to,
Speaker 3: you know, the good and her to try and sort
Speaker 3: things out and to try and help the situation.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Okay, So what happened to retreat?
Speaker 3: So I was there, her cousin was there because her
Speaker 3: cousin and her cousin's partner at the time went out
Speaker 3: like two weeks before us. But then her cousin decided
Speaker 3: she wanted to stay while I was there with my
Speaker 3: doctic minipestive partner. So it ended up being me and
Speaker 3: my partner and her cousin as a retreat. And this
Speaker 3: is her cousin who I've known since I was six
Speaker 3: years old and who kind of introduced me to the
Speaker 3: whole situation, and yeah, it was basically her interrogating me
Speaker 3: after every ceremony, trying to tell me what it all meant,
Speaker 3: trying to make sure that I was blaming my family
Speaker 3: for all of the but I kind of could see
Speaker 3: what she was doing, so it didn't really work.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 4: Still that's still man, that sounds like a complete nightmare,
Speaker 4: being on being on an intense psychedelic drug while someone's
Speaker 4: trying to like fuck with your understanding of reality. I mean,
Speaker 4: that's that sounds awful.
Speaker 3: Yeah it was. It was kind of a lot to
Speaker 3: hold on to, but I managed to. I mean I
Speaker 3: had a fucking amazing experience, and if I'm honest, it
Speaker 3: was like the best thing I've ever done. Yeah, I
Speaker 3: like an even.
Speaker 2: With like all this like shit, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Because it kind of has a way of just cutting
Speaker 3: through all the bullshit and you just get right down
Speaker 3: to the core of you, like no matter what's going on.
Speaker 3: And I was there, like I really wanted to just
Speaker 3: work myself and get what I could out of it. So, yeah,
Speaker 3: it was amazing. I had like an exorcism. I was
Speaker 3: talking to aliens, trying to save the world, like I
Speaker 3: saw the spirit world like loads of crazy shit happened
Speaker 3: was amazing, and yeah, I'd love to do it again,
Speaker 3: but I mean, this will happened like six years ago now.
Speaker 3: And so basically we got back after the retreat, it
Speaker 3: was pretty clear it wasn't going to work out. We
Speaker 3: were living abroad in France, so I moved into a
Speaker 3: flat down the road, like an apartment down the road,
Speaker 3: so I could still be close to my kid. But
Speaker 3: then she cut me off from him and said that
Speaker 3: I can't see him anymore, which like I mean, she
Speaker 3: helped me move out, and then she said that I
Speaker 3: abandoned him as soon as I moved into this apartment
Speaker 3: and said that I can see him anymore. And so right, okay,
Speaker 3: So I ended up moving back to the UK, saving
Speaker 3: up what I could to get a lawyer and go
Speaker 3: to court get access to my kid, which I got.
Speaker 3: But it was actually after I had moved out and
Speaker 3: I was doing like a lot of meditating and using
Speaker 3: what I'd learned at the Southwesca retreat, and I had
Speaker 3: a small amount of MBMA that I took and it
Speaker 3: all like hit me, like slapped me around the face
Speaker 3: that I had all these underlying feelings for her cousin
Speaker 3: who was this that I met when I was six
Speaker 3: years old, And I told them, I mean, I told
Speaker 3: my ex first.
Speaker 1: I said, look, I've realized.
Speaker 3: I've got feelings for your cousin and she said, well,
Speaker 3: I don't give a shirt, go and tell her them. Fine,
Speaker 3: so it's okay, And I went and I told her,
Speaker 3: and at first she didn't believe me. She just thought
Speaker 3: I was just trying to say it to be a
Speaker 3: dick or trying to hurt my ex partner. But throughout
Speaker 3: the course of the conversation I kind of managed to
Speaker 3: convince her that I really meant her. And then so
Speaker 3: my crazy X goes, all right, well, why do you
Speaker 3: figure out how you feel about him? Then? You know?
Speaker 3: And so she started trying to figure it out and
Speaker 3: talk to me about it, and it felt like we
Speaker 3: were really starting to get somewhere and really kind of
Speaker 3: figured out that there were feelings down and she didn't
Speaker 3: know what it meant yet, but she said, well, I'm
Speaker 3: going to go and tell her that there's feelings there.
Speaker 3: And I said, I don't know if you should just
Speaker 3: go and tell her, like this probably needs to get
Speaker 3: attacked or whatever, but she was like, no, no, trust me,
Speaker 3: It'll be fine. So she went and told Mike crazy
Speaker 3: X and she flipped. She was like, she screamed in
Speaker 3: her face, I want to rip you in half. And yeah,
Speaker 3: so this girl I mem I was six, she just
Speaker 3: like suddenly became she kind of retreated, became very confused,
Speaker 3: and she said basically that actually, well they both started
Speaker 3: trying to convince me that I was confused and actually
Speaker 3: I had feelings for the abusive person i'd just broken
Speaker 3: up with.
Speaker 2: And this was all six years ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, this was six years ago.
Speaker 3: And I actually just recently, just a couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 3: because I had a girlfriend last year and I tried
Speaker 3: to move past the situation and sort of just get
Speaker 3: on with my life and I still see my kid
Speaker 3: when I can, but I realized kind of recently that
Speaker 3: those feelings are still there, like I don't have closure
Speaker 3: because of how it all ended, it didn't feel like
Speaker 3: we actually got closure. So I emailed this girl I
Speaker 3: met when I was six, because I still have an
Speaker 3: email address, I don't have a phone number, and I
Speaker 3: explained I still had feelings for her and I felt
Speaker 3: like I wanted to meet and talk to her.
Speaker 4: How recently, did you email her like two weeks ago?
Speaker 2: Okay, did you respond?
Speaker 3: Well? No, And I don't know if she got it
Speaker 3: or not. But I don't see why she would have
Speaker 3: changed her email address. But the thing is if she
Speaker 3: got because she lives They lived together as soon as
Speaker 3: I moved out, this girl that I grew up with
Speaker 3: when I was six moved in because my abusive X
Speaker 3: always needs like a passional assistant to run around and
Speaker 3: do her all the cleaning.
Speaker 1: And cooking and stuff.
Speaker 3: So they lived together, and they probably would have both
Speaker 3: were the email. And the fuck knows what's going on
Speaker 3: over there. It might have caused a ship storm, it
Speaker 3: might not.
Speaker 2: How long How long has it been since you've seen
Speaker 2: either of these people?
Speaker 3: So when I go and see my son, to be honest,
Speaker 3: she normally sends my son out with She had two
Speaker 3: children from a previous relationship, and she usually sends her
Speaker 3: daughter out with my son, so I see her. So
Speaker 3: I haven't seen the girl I grew up with for
Speaker 3: a couple of years, and it's probably been about the
Speaker 3: same sort of time with my abu selector as well.
Speaker 3: I've just seen my son.
Speaker 1: I pick him up outside the house.
Speaker 2: How old your son tank.
Speaker 3: Hold you, I'm thirty seven.
Speaker 4: Mm hm, And how's everything going with your kid? Because
Speaker 4: it because I mean, god fucking damn dude, this situation
Speaker 4: is it was insane. It was insane if you didn't
Speaker 4: have a kid, and having a kid in between it
Speaker 4: makes it like a hundred times some more.
Speaker 3: And so she's basically, since I moved out, convinced him
Speaker 3: that I don't actually love him and I'm pretending to
Speaker 3: love him to hurt her, and he's kind of seems
Speaker 3: to be buying that story. So the last few times
Speaker 3: I've seen him, he's fully been I mean, it's weird
Speaker 3: because we've still got we were really close up until
Speaker 3: I moved out when he was three and a half,
Speaker 3: Like we were super close. We get on really really well,
Speaker 3: and that's still there. But then you can see where
Speaker 3: him having to live in his mum's story all the
Speaker 3: time is messing with him, because yeah, he'll he'll say
Speaker 3: that he doesn't believe I actually love him, and yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't know. So it's it's tricky understanding what I
Speaker 3: can do, and I'm trying not to because obviously she's
Speaker 3: painting her whole story out to him, and I'm obviously
Speaker 3: trying not to paint my whole story out to him
Speaker 3: because I think it's it's messed up. But at the
Speaker 3: same time, when you're in a situation when you know
Speaker 3: they're being told all of that, so well, I'm supposed
Speaker 3: to do. So I'm trying to be there and keep
Speaker 3: contact with him and keep seeing him, keep spending time
Speaker 3: with them, having fun. But I mean, I don't get
Speaker 3: phone calls with him too often. Now he's got a
Speaker 3: phone number, but I'm not allowed at She's. You know,
Speaker 3: she and her whole family talk to him on the phone,
Speaker 3: but for whatever reason, she won't give me his number.
Speaker 4: And I assume that your custody agreement looks something like
Speaker 4: she spends. He spends most of his time over there,
Speaker 4: and you get to see him occasionally.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I get to see him for half the school holidays,
Speaker 3: for any weekend of any month. I can go and
Speaker 3: see him, but I need to give them a month's notice.
Speaker 4: Basically, did you have to go through a kind of
Speaker 4: a crazy court battle.
Speaker 3: Yeah, in France with a French lawyer and translator and everything.
Speaker 3: It was expensive and it was long. Yeah, it took
Speaker 3: about six months. But got down and go to see
Speaker 3: him again.
Speaker 2: God damn man, how you doing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm actually okay. This year, I've actually been starting
Speaker 3: to feel pretty good with myself, and I think that's
Speaker 3: why I sort of got to the point of thinking,
Speaker 3: actually I need closure rather than just not being sure
Speaker 3: what to do about it and being in loads of
Speaker 3: pain and just you know, not knowing how I can
Speaker 3: move along with my life.
Speaker 4: Well, man, I mean your closure is like you you
Speaker 4: can never I mean you know this, man, like you
Speaker 4: can never. You know, closure something you've got to give
Speaker 4: to yourself, right, because if you if you need closure
Speaker 4: from this cousin or or this X, you're never going
Speaker 4: to get it because you can't. You can't make other
Speaker 4: people give you closure. You can only give it within yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I get that.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think by emailing her, I just wanted because
Speaker 3: she probably would have had no idea that I did
Speaker 3: still have any kind of feelings because I didn't really,
Speaker 3: I didn't give that impressional give much away over the
Speaker 3: past years. I mean at the time that I saw
Speaker 3: her two years ago.
Speaker 1: Or whatever, the girl I grew up with, I barely spoke.
Speaker 3: To her, you know. And it's because I mean, she
Speaker 3: said a bunch of messed up stuff stuff in the
Speaker 3: whole court battle. I mean, she she submitted to call
Speaker 3: that I shouldn't see my son ever again, the skirl
Speaker 3: I grew up with. But I mean, I know that's
Speaker 3: not her. I know it's coming from my ex. So
Speaker 3: I don't know. It's a tricky one. Like I had
Speaker 3: all these mixed feelings about it all. But when I
Speaker 3: actually get down to the court at all, you know,
Speaker 3: she turned up on my door step. I invite her in.
Speaker 4: Straightway, But are you talking about your cousin, I mean,
Speaker 4: not your cousin that No, you don't have a crush
Speaker 4: on so your ex's cousin.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And I guess I wanted her to know that,
Speaker 3: just have the opportunities in that actually, you know, if
Speaker 3: she didn't want to get out of the.
Speaker 2: Well look look look, look, look give with me.
Speaker 4: Give with me on this, Give with me on this,
Speaker 4: because this is what I want to know.
Speaker 5: What I mean.
Speaker 4: First of all, I'm really sorry to hear that you're
Speaker 4: you're in such a precocious situation with your son, because
Speaker 4: that's I mean, that's that's that's that's brutal, that's really brutal.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry that you're dealing with that. I want to
Speaker 4: know this, Who's who else has you got in your
Speaker 4: life right now? Do you are you dating someone else?
Speaker 4: Are you going out on are you trying to form
Speaker 4: a new relationship?
Speaker 2: Do you have friends?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: What? What? What does your support system look like outside
Speaker 2: of that?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I've got friends around me. I was
Speaker 3: in a relationship for all of the last year, but
Speaker 3: I think it was at the tail end of that
Speaker 3: relationship had the niggling feeling about not having closure. It
Speaker 3: wasn't just that there were lots of reasons the relationship
Speaker 3: didn't work out. But yeah, I mean, I've got my
Speaker 3: family will live pretty close by. I've got friends that
Speaker 3: go skateboarding with, you know, go down the partner hang
Speaker 3: out and you know, of court, some good mates.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's okay.
Speaker 3: It's not like I'm on my own and I'm just
Speaker 3: suffering this dark room or anythink.
Speaker 1: So No, my life's okay.
Speaker 3: I'm enjoying my job. I'm a youth support worker. I
Speaker 3: work with teenagers and that's really rewarding. So things are
Speaker 3: going pretty good. I'm feeling pretty positive, and I think
Speaker 3: I just wanted to see it if I could get closure,
Speaker 3: and I know what you mean. I mean, you can
Speaker 3: only give closure to yourself, but I want to give
Speaker 3: it an opportunity before I go, Okay, you know what,
Speaker 3: I'm just going to leave it all behind and move
Speaker 3: on with my life.
Speaker 2: It's hard. I get, I mean, I get it.
Speaker 4: I get why you want closure, and I get why
Speaker 4: you feel like you I get why people feel like
Speaker 4: they can't just give it to themselves. But it's a
Speaker 4: really powerful feeling when you kind of when you do
Speaker 4: throw up your hands and go, I can only I
Speaker 4: really can only give myself close to this thing. You know,
Speaker 4: you kind of you kind of like relinquish this desire
Speaker 4: for control over this thing that you fundamentally have zero
Speaker 4: control over. And then yeah, and then weirdly, you you
Speaker 4: regain control, you know, because it's within it's within your
Speaker 4: control to accept you have no control, and that makes
Speaker 4: you feel a little bit more powerful over this otherwise
Speaker 4: powerless position.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I do get that, and I think, you know,
Speaker 3: I could definitely, I know I'm going to be feeling
Speaker 3: optimistic about moving forwards my life if I do, you know,
Speaker 3: just get to a point where it's like, you know
Speaker 3: what it's done in the past and move forwards.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I guess it was just.
Speaker 3: Figuring out, but I still have feelings there. It was
Speaker 3: just like, all right, well, I'm just gonna reach out
Speaker 3: and just check in one last time.
Speaker 4: But all I mean, I mean, you know, all things considered,
Speaker 4: the fact that you seem like you're doing pretty well
Speaker 4: with this this crazy situation is I'm very impressed by.
Speaker 4: You know, you didn't let it crumble you or you know,
Speaker 4: you're not the fact that you're not sitting in a
Speaker 4: dark room thinking about your your cousin and and all
Speaker 4: this not your guy. You don't know why I keep
Speaker 4: calling this woman that you are are attracted to, I
Speaker 4: don't know why I keep Yeah, I mean, it's also
Speaker 4: good that you're not sitting in a dark room thinking
Speaker 4: about how much you love your cousin. Whether this woman's
Speaker 4: cousin or your cousin, it's good that you're not sitting
Speaker 4: in a dark room thinking about either.
Speaker 2: Yea, So I mean, good, good on you, man.
Speaker 4: I mean, just the fact that you're able to live
Speaker 4: a happy life despite some pretty miserable circumstances is something
Speaker 4: that I'm very I'm very impressed by.
Speaker 3: Thanks man. Yeah, it's taken a while. What didn't help
Speaker 3: a lot, but I was using it to cope for
Speaker 3: the first few years is I was smoking a bunch
Speaker 3: of weed. But I stopped doing that and it's really
Speaker 3: helped me to start being a lot more positive about everything.
Speaker 1: So that was a while.
Speaker 3: Agoing out I stopped. But it's definitely a good call
Speaker 3: as much of the fields like it helps, like in
Speaker 3: the moment, long time, take a picture and help anything.
Speaker 4: So tell us, I mean before we go, tell us
Speaker 4: anything else like that, anything else, what else has made
Speaker 4: you feel you know good in your life despite all this.
Speaker 4: For anyone else listening who's like, you know, maybe they're
Speaker 4: going maybe they're in the you're like in the uh,
Speaker 4: you've like you know, in the in the final stages
Speaker 4: of like dealing with this stuff, and it sounds like
Speaker 4: you've been able to process it pretty well.
Speaker 2: What's your advice or what's worked for you.
Speaker 4: To anyone else who's maybe dealing with some crazy shit,
Speaker 4: I would.
Speaker 3: Say, listen to yourself, trust yourself, forgive yourself. You can
Speaker 3: only do what you can do, and you know what
Speaker 3: is not helping you, so just don't do it. Just
Speaker 3: stop and that stuff and eventually you will start to
Speaker 3: get in tune with what you feel like you need
Speaker 3: and what you feel like you want to do, and
Speaker 3: just keep listening to that. And thanks can be okay.
Speaker 3: Thanks always turn around, thinks always get better.
Speaker 4: Well, Shep, Is there anything else you want to say
Speaker 4: to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 3: No, I think we pretty much cover it. I just
Speaker 3: think it's crazy that you actually called and we got
Speaker 3: to talk to you about this. I was fucking nervous
Speaker 3: at the beginning of going in my life. Yeah, man, no,
Speaker 3: it's cool, and yeah, everyone has a good day.
Speaker 4: Hey, take care of Shep, and good luck in all
Speaker 4: of your future endeavors.
Speaker 3: Nice one, Thanks getting Yeah, take care man.
Speaker 4: Man, that was a wild one. Although I just I
Speaker 4: really do. I mean, that's such a such a difficult situation.
Speaker 4: I want to say I respect them and optimism, I
Speaker 4: really do. I respect his optimism and the fact that
Speaker 4: he seems like he's doing pretty well despite all other things.
Speaker 4: And not just now, but even like when he's telling
Speaker 4: the story about how someone's trying to brainwash him while
Speaker 4: he's doing ayahuasca and like I said, that sounds horrible
Speaker 4: and he's like, no, it was such a great experience,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, it's some mental resilience being shown by
Speaker 4: this guy, so props to him. Maybe it's a British thing.
Speaker 4: I think that was the first call I've had with
Speaker 4: a British person where for a full twenty minutes I
Speaker 4: didn't interrupt by saying something about English McDonald's or something
Speaker 4: like that. So, you know, props to me for that
Speaker 4: and thanks for calling Shep. Hey, folks, this is Lyle.
Speaker 4: I am very excited to announce that I am going
Speaker 4: back on tour in twenty twenty four or to do
Speaker 4: Therapy Gecko Live all across the country. If you've never
Speaker 4: been to one of my live shows before, they are
Speaker 4: extremely fun, unpredictable, wild evenings that involve a mix of
Speaker 4: group Gecko therapy sessions as well as some material and
Speaker 4: presentations from myself. And if you've been to the show before,
Speaker 4: I have new presentations and will of course be interviewing
Speaker 4: new people. If you're a fan of the podcast, you're
Speaker 4: gonna have a great time at the live show, so
Speaker 4: I hope to see you guys there. Go to Therapy
Speaker 4: geckotour dot com or check the link in the episode
Speaker 4: description for a full list of cities where tickets are available. Also,
Speaker 4: if you don't see your city on the list of cities,
Speaker 4: please still click the link and RSVP with your phone
Speaker 4: number so I can contact you when tickets go on
Speaker 4: sale for your city, because I'm going to announce a
Speaker 4: bunch more dates very soon.
Speaker 2: Geck Bluss.
Speaker 6: Hello, Hello, no fucking way? Is this wild?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Who is this?
Speaker 6: Oh my god? This is Nadia?
Speaker 2: Nadia? What's going on? How can I get you today?
Speaker 6: Oh shit? Well, first of all, I'd like to say
Speaker 6: I went to your live show in Orlando last week.
Speaker 5: Oh bomb.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, it was really cool. Honestly, it was my
Speaker 6: first live show with you, and it was way better
Speaker 6: than I expected it to be. And I even I
Speaker 6: took my dad, and my dad's like a sixty year
Speaker 6: old old buff Republican that likes World War two ship
Speaker 6: and he loved it.
Speaker 2: Dude, really, that's so awesome. Actually had a good time.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, it was really cool.
Speaker 4: It was.
Speaker 6: It turned like, the turnout was way better than I
Speaker 6: expected it to be, and I honestly like, and I
Speaker 6: went with a couple of high school friends too, and
Speaker 6: they we just weren't expecting what was going to happen.
Speaker 6: So we came in with no expectations at all and
Speaker 6: it was just like boom, mind blown. So it was
Speaker 6: really cool.
Speaker 4: Well, god damn, thanks Doddie. That makes me feel really good.
Speaker 4: I've had there are some dude, I swear to god,
Speaker 4: I've had some shows where I wake up in the
Speaker 4: middle of the night and I'm like, oh fuck, like
Speaker 4: it'll just keep me up at night, you know.
Speaker 2: But uh, really was that one?
Speaker 6: But that show?
Speaker 2: No, I think that I think that one went well.
Speaker 2: I think that one.
Speaker 4: I mean I always always hard on myself, but I
Speaker 4: think I think that one was fun. I'm trying to
Speaker 4: think with the highlights of that were not to bore
Speaker 4: the listeners with. I mean, I guess this whole thing.
Speaker 4: I guess this is just an impromptu ad for my
Speaker 4: live show. But uh, what was the highlight of the Orlando?
Speaker 6: Who was?
Speaker 2: Who do you remember from that show?
Speaker 6: I'm trying to always always remember the girl that was
Speaker 6: wearing the pickle Grick costume with the with the eyeball hat, like, yeah,
Speaker 6: like her story was pretty sick. But honestly, besides that,
Speaker 6: I mean, I don't know if I'm allowed to say, oh.
Speaker 4: No, don't don't don't don't spoil anything that I don't
Speaker 4: talk about anything that I said.
Speaker 2: I don't want to spoil it anyway. We can still
Speaker 2: stop talking about my show? How can I? What's what's
Speaker 2: up with you? Man?
Speaker 6: So recently, I just got out of a, in my opinion,
Speaker 6: a pretty toxic and kind of abusive relationship with the
Speaker 6: guy that I met at a sex club, which I mean,
Speaker 6: if I meet a guy at a sex club, that's
Speaker 6: immediately a red flag. But I mean I immediately, like really
Speaker 6: fell in love with him, like head over heels, and
Speaker 6: I kind of just kept putting off the red flags
Speaker 6: until it's kind of like too late.
Speaker 5: Though.
Speaker 6: When I finally cut it off, I felt so alone.
Speaker 6: I mean, I live alone. I I'm going to college alone.
Speaker 6: I'm twenty two and I'm living alone for the first time,
Speaker 6: and I it's like the first time in a while
Speaker 6: that I've that weekends have come along and I had
Speaker 6: like no plans. I don't have anybody to see. I
Speaker 6: don't talk to anybody. I don't have a lot of
Speaker 6: friends at school, not because I don't want to make friends,
Speaker 6: but my school is just so oriented around studying and
Speaker 6: doing shit school stuff like I don't really have time
Speaker 6: to even make friends. So I've kind of just been
Speaker 6: on a binge on dating apps, which I've kind of
Speaker 6: always told myself that I didn't want to do because
Speaker 6: I mean, I don't really think that real love is
Speaker 6: found on dating apps. I feel like it's just found
Speaker 6: naturally out there. But I just feel so lonely, like
Speaker 6: I don't know what else to do. I even went
Speaker 6: to the club by myself, and I mean I didn't
Speaker 6: have a bad time, but I was literally just on
Speaker 6: my phone the whole time, Like I don't really know, you.
Speaker 4: Know, well, you know, I mean, I'll say this, I
Speaker 4: struggle a lot with loneliness myself. Vice made a whole
Speaker 4: twenty minute documentary about how sad and lonely I am.
Speaker 2: So that's a thing.
Speaker 4: So I don't know, this is this is a thing
Speaker 4: that I am. I am trying to hack myself. I
Speaker 4: will say about the dating apps though, is people people
Speaker 4: will say that like real you know, they're they're fake
Speaker 4: or whatever, But that dating app is is just like
Speaker 4: a person is a person, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: A dating app is just a dating app is just
Speaker 4: a way to make it so that you can meet
Speaker 4: more people. The people you meet on the apps are
Speaker 4: not necessarily reflective of the app experience itself. It's reflective
Speaker 4: of those people you know.
Speaker 6: Right, and you know and that you're exactly right, because
Speaker 6: I mean, I have a high school friend that married
Speaker 6: a girl like met off of Tender, So it's just
Speaker 6: like it's totally possible. But I just feel like I'm
Speaker 6: putting myself out there to so many people. It just
Speaker 6: kind of feels weird, like I've never been I'm not
Speaker 6: like an introverted person, but I'm also not that extroverted place.
Speaker 6: Kind of just feels like, especially on Tender, just like
Speaker 6: you know, Tender is the app for people that just
Speaker 6: want to fuck and I can't even do that.
Speaker 4: Well okay, well again again. I mean people say that
Speaker 4: they're like, oh, Tender is the app for people just
Speaker 4: want to fuck, but I you know, I have I have.
Speaker 4: I have a couple of really good friends who are
Speaker 4: in like long term relationships from Tender. The app, the apps,
Speaker 4: the people apps are just like fucking services that connect people.
Speaker 4: It's it's the actual relationship you have with the person
Speaker 4: once the app has connected you to them, is reflective
Speaker 4: of the person itself and reflective of view, you know
Speaker 4: what I mean. Yeah, so, but anyway, that's you know,
Speaker 4: I guess like.
Speaker 2: I don't know. So you say, this is your first
Speaker 2: time that you've been.
Speaker 4: Alone in Are you like a serial monogamous as they
Speaker 4: might call them.
Speaker 6: No, not necessarily, But I've never been into like polyamory
Speaker 6: or like you know, doing before. When I got with
Speaker 6: this toxic relationship guy, I was sleeping with him and
Speaker 6: then also sleeping with another guy, and it was kind
Speaker 6: of like I was talking to a couple of guys
Speaker 6: and it was that. But it always just seems to
Speaker 6: fall to one person. I feel like I'm just more
Speaker 6: comfortable with one person. I feel like talking to a
Speaker 6: lot of people and sleeping with a lot of people
Speaker 6: at the same time is kind of a lot of work,
Speaker 6: to be honest, and I don't really have a lot
Speaker 6: of time to do that either. I mean, I'm a pilot.
Speaker 6: I just got my pilot's license, and I'm doing training
Speaker 6: at school and I go to school Monday through Saturday,
Speaker 6: so it's kind of hard to keep up with a
Speaker 6: lot of people at the same time. Yet I don't
Speaker 6: have I feel like I don't have enough people. I
Speaker 6: don't know that doesn't really make sense. I guess really
Speaker 6: contradict you.
Speaker 4: When you went into the when you so you went
Speaker 4: to the club by yourself and you you did you
Speaker 4: like try to talk to anyone there?
Speaker 6: Absolutely not. No, I did not talk to anybody there
Speaker 6: because because I couldn't find anybody that was alone. If
Speaker 6: I could have found somebody that was alone, I could
Speaker 6: have probably you know, went up to them and been like, Yo,
Speaker 6: what's up? I like your shirt?
Speaker 2: Or were you and were you?
Speaker 4: Were you there like looking like what do you have
Speaker 4: a mission? While you were there? Where you want to
Speaker 4: meet people?
Speaker 2: What was your mission?
Speaker 6: I was gonna get somebody's number that night. My mission
Speaker 6: was I'm going to try and get somebody's number that night.
Speaker 6: But literally it was a Friday night, Friday night before
Speaker 6: actually last Friday night of spring break before. I guess
Speaker 6: I was saying Patrick's Day. So yeah, it was last Friday.
Speaker 6: So everybody was with a group or a partner. And
Speaker 6: one of my biggest fears of like walking up to
Speaker 6: a guy or something is like they're with their girlfriend
Speaker 6: and like some bitches out here are crazy. Okay. I
Speaker 6: don't want anybody to get my wrong idea because my
Speaker 6: first intention is always make friends first, and you know,
Speaker 6: like do whatever adult shit later.
Speaker 4: But yeah, do you know how many do you know
Speaker 4: how many single guys go out to the bars at
Speaker 4: the clubs at night and just and wish that someone
Speaker 4: would come talk to them.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and I would have totally done it, But it's
Speaker 6: just like everybody was paired up or in a huge group,
Speaker 6: so it's kind of weird. Maybe I just maybe I
Speaker 6: should have just gone to the bar instead of a club.
Speaker 4: I like, I like your way of thinking, like putting
Speaker 4: yourself out there. I mean that's uh, it's like going
Speaker 4: out alone to a bar or a club and like
Speaker 4: walking up to a group of people and like introducing yourself.
Speaker 2: But that takes a lot of a lot of balls.
Speaker 4: But also it's like, dude, secret I know you're like
Speaker 4: in your head about it, but like, secretly, isn't that
Speaker 4: what everyone wants?
Speaker 2: Isn't that what you like?
Speaker 4: Like isn't that why you go out to the bar
Speaker 4: and the club to like have an experience meet new people?
Speaker 4: Like you're actually when you walk up to a group
Speaker 4: of people and you you or a stranger when you
Speaker 4: start talking to them, you're you're in a way you're
Speaker 4: like doing them a service, you know, like because you're
Speaker 4: because you're That's that's what they wanted at of going
Speaker 4: out is to meet new people and experience life. I mean,
Speaker 4: I guess I assume that most of the time. I
Speaker 4: guess some people just want to go out to a
Speaker 4: bar and only talk to their friends.
Speaker 6: But you know, yeah, I totally get that. And I
Speaker 6: mean I'm, like I said, I'm only twenty two, and
Speaker 6: I've never really had many experiences with bars and clubs.
Speaker 6: But yeah, I've been starting to go out more and
Speaker 6: I hope to go out again, preferably with somebody a friend,
Speaker 6: just so that I don't feel like so awkward and
Speaker 6: weird about it. But I feel like I could totally
Speaker 6: go out to a bar and talk to somebody. I
Speaker 6: would just need to find the right bar because most
Speaker 6: of the bars around this town are just like only
Speaker 6: old people or criminals or just you know people.
Speaker 2: That I ask. Not what can I ask where?
Speaker 4: You don't have to get too specific you want to,
Speaker 4: but like where what can I ask you?
Speaker 2: What city this is?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 6: Yeah, Like I live in Ormond Beach and that's a
Speaker 6: small town right by Daytona Beach. Florida. I guess like
Speaker 6: the world world's most famous beach, but it's it's really
Speaker 6: just a tourist town for whenever Bike Week or October
Speaker 6: or October pest come along. It's like a motorcycle town.
Speaker 6: And then obviously there's the College of Daytona State here
Speaker 6: and my college. But it's really small. There's like really
Speaker 6: like pretty run down to tourist town, a lot of
Speaker 6: homeless people, a lot of drug addicts and shootings and whatnot.
Speaker 6: It's not really really that unsafe, but I mean, shit
Speaker 6: happens everywhere you go.
Speaker 4: I mean, I think you got the right idea, man,
Speaker 4: putting your putting yourself out there, trying to make friends,
Speaker 4: because that's the thing.
Speaker 2: That's what I've realized is.
Speaker 4: No one's gonna hand you your life on a silver platter,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean. You actually have to go out,
Speaker 4: whether it's the bars or the dating apps or whatever,
Speaker 4: and you actually have to put yourself out like your
Speaker 4: you know, your perfect boyfriend or girlfriend aren't just gonna
Speaker 4: and your group of friends. They're not just gonna appear
Speaker 4: in your lamp. You have to actually like go do
Speaker 4: a bunch of fucking work. It sucks maybe it doesn't suck.
Speaker 4: Maybe it's good. I shouldn't say it sucks, and it
Speaker 4: sucks a lot. I'm not gonna deny that it sucks.
Speaker 2: I really do.
Speaker 4: I really try to be positive and optimistic about things,
Speaker 4: but god, it sucks.
Speaker 2: It sucks. You have to do work.
Speaker 4: It would be so nice if everyone was just born
Speaker 4: with friends and uh fucking h romantic partners and all
Speaker 4: these things. But you actually have to go out and
Speaker 4: you not only you not only listen how crazy and
Speaker 4: fucked up this is. You not only have to go
Speaker 4: out and find and make connections with other people, you
Speaker 4: also have to like improve yourself and shit to like
Speaker 4: make it so that other people want to be around you.
Speaker 4: It's fucking exactly, it's a whole fucking things, and exactly
Speaker 4: it's constant.
Speaker 2: You have to do it constantly. You don't just do
Speaker 2: it once and then you're cool for it. You have
Speaker 2: to always be fucking working on yourself.
Speaker 4: You have to you have to like stay in shape
Speaker 4: so that you're like physically attractive.
Speaker 2: You have to do all these things. It's such a nightmare.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but you know what, like that aspect isn't even
Speaker 6: that hard for me. My, my issue is finding people
Speaker 6: that are up to that standard, up to you know,
Speaker 6: wanting to constantly improve, wanting to like that strive on
Speaker 6: personal growth, that are working on goals that you know,
Speaker 6: And I understand people getting ruts, Like I'm in a
Speaker 6: rut right now. I'm my apartment is a fucking mess
Speaker 6: after that breakup, and I haven't done my dishes in
Speaker 6: like over a month. But like I mean, I'm still
Speaker 6: going to school, Like there's still the things that are
Speaker 6: more important than doing my damn dishes. I live by myself.
Speaker 6: It would be different if I had somebody living with me.
Speaker 6: That would be kind of.
Speaker 5: Gross, but like I mean, it's still gross. But what
Speaker 5: I mean is like I've always been with like I
Speaker 5: guess babies, they don't like these guys don't want to improve,
Speaker 5: and it kind of just feels like they want to
Speaker 5: take advantage of what I have. It may not it
Speaker 5: may not be like directly that, it might be indirectly
Speaker 5: that which just like, uh, the last guy I was with,
Speaker 5: I don't even know why I was with him.
Speaker 6: He well, I know I was with him. I was
Speaker 6: with him because I always see the good in people,
Speaker 6: and I feel like he really had the potential to
Speaker 6: be a better person. But he didn't have a high
Speaker 6: school diploma, he couldn't keep a job, he lived with
Speaker 6: his parents. Like, he didn't really benefit me in any
Speaker 6: way besides the potential of getting better. And I don't
Speaker 6: know why I'm so attracted to that. If he could
Speaker 6: get better, I can be there for him and that
Speaker 6: would be great. Like I love the idea of growing
Speaker 6: with somebody, but he can't always grow with somebody.
Speaker 3: I guess you know.
Speaker 4: It's this brings up some stuff that I was actually
Speaker 4: I was actually talking to some friends about this recently.
Speaker 2: Is this.
Speaker 4: Well, okay, I'll say this first. Uh, I think this
Speaker 4: is a realm of life. It's it's it's at these
Speaker 4: two things kind of tie into each other. The idea
Speaker 4: of like being picky when you're selecting your romantic partner,
Speaker 4: and how that is like can sometimes be good and
Speaker 4: sometimes be bad.
Speaker 2: I think it's a good thing.
Speaker 4: I mean, this is an important fucking part of life,
Speaker 4: and if you're not picky enough, you will waste a
Speaker 4: lot of time and energy and emotions. And what I
Speaker 4: was gonna say, I've been talking to my friends about this,
Speaker 4: is this weird dynamic between like the two schools of
Speaker 4: thought in relationships, which are do you search and search
Speaker 4: and search and be picky and be picking and be
Speaker 4: picky until you find somebody who you're compatible with on
Speaker 4: like a like almost like one hundred percent or ninety
Speaker 4: percent or whatever. Or do you pick someone and fucking
Speaker 4: make it work and grow together until you make yourselves
Speaker 4: compatible with one another? And I don't, I genuinely in
Speaker 4: this is why I was talking to my friends about
Speaker 4: this is like I don't, I don't know which of
Speaker 4: those two schools are.
Speaker 2: The the quote unquote right one.
Speaker 4: And then like when if you are in a relationship, like,
Speaker 4: at what point do you do you go, Okay, this
Speaker 4: is a fundamental We've we've grown enough or been around
Speaker 4: each other for long enough that we've discovered these sort
Speaker 4: of fundamental incompatibilities. Do we a cut our losses and
Speaker 4: move on until we find someone who's more compatible with
Speaker 4: us or maybe we've grown in different directions, or do
Speaker 4: we be fucking sit there and go to therapy and
Speaker 4: work on it together.
Speaker 2: And I don't, I don't know, I really don't know.
Speaker 6: See when I was in that predicament, I only had
Speaker 6: really one person to go to and that was my aunt,
Speaker 6: because she was really the only person that actually is
Speaker 6: still currently experiencing what I was going through, a toxic
Speaker 6: relationship with a drug addict that would beat the shit
Speaker 6: out of her. And I don't know, like if he's
Speaker 6: still doing it. She says he's not. She says he's sober.
Speaker 6: She says that he stopped beating her, but it just
Speaker 6: before he actually made the switch. He actually in an
Speaker 6: invertedly put her in the hospital because he was beating
Speaker 6: the fuck out of her in her kitchen. She couldn't
Speaker 6: get anywhere. And mind you, my aunt, she's in Alabama,
Speaker 6: country girl, redneck who raises like thirty American bullies and
Speaker 6: has guns all over the house. And for this motherfucker
Speaker 6: to be able to trap her in the one area
Speaker 6: of the house that she couldn't get her gun to
Speaker 6: protect herself is fucking wild. But anyway, like he was
Speaker 6: beating her senseless in her kitchen and her dog. He
Speaker 6: was like on top of her on the floor and
Speaker 6: her dog was so riled up. At this point he
Speaker 6: went to go attack her, but she like moved her
Speaker 6: arm I guess, you know, fighting him, and that dog
Speaker 6: bid her and it ripped her arm to shreds. It
Speaker 6: looked like she got fucking attacked by an alligator. Like
Speaker 6: these photos that I got were ridiculous.
Speaker 2: She was beaten by this guy, and then on top
Speaker 2: of that, the dog bitter.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, on top of everything, the dog fucking bid
Speaker 6: her and would not let go. But you know when
Speaker 6: the dog bitter, the dude was like, oh my god,
Speaker 6: what the fuck? And you know he was trying to
Speaker 6: do whatever. Literally all he needed to do was get
Speaker 6: a belt to wrap around her arm so that she
Speaker 6: wouldn't bleed out. And the motherfucker was wearing a belt
Speaker 6: the whole time. But you know, everybody was so freaked out,
Speaker 6: like they didn't really know what to do. But eventually,
Speaker 6: like she went to the hospital she had to get
Speaker 6: the surgery. As soon as I found that out, like
Speaker 6: I went straight to Alabama, drove the seven hour drive
Speaker 6: down there, and I stayed with her for like a
Speaker 6: whole week with my other brother to like just taking
Speaker 6: care of her. And the dude wasn't there. The dude
Speaker 6: was out of the house and whatnot. And that was
Speaker 6: when they really broke up. And I was like, Twitter, God,
Speaker 6: if you get back with this guy, blah, blah blah,
Speaker 6: you shouldn't be having to deal with this. To make
Speaker 6: a long story short, they're together now and they're doing great.
Speaker 6: So it's just like I had to contact her and
Speaker 6: I was like, look, Diana, like this is what I'm
Speaker 6: going through right now, and you're the only other person
Speaker 6: that is semi close to what I'm going through. Toxic
Speaker 6: relationship kind of got you know, physically and mentally abused
Speaker 6: by this guy, and I'm a little traumatized, but I
Speaker 6: love him, so I don't really know whether to stick
Speaker 6: it out or not. And her advice was pretty much like,
Speaker 6: I don't want to be a hypocrite, but I would
Speaker 6: be a bad aunt if I didn't say run for
Speaker 6: the hills, man, like, get as far away from his
Speaker 6: as you can. But if you really love him and
Speaker 6: you really think you can work it out, you know
Speaker 6: you've got to work not only with him, but with
Speaker 6: his family. He's got to get sober and it's gonna
Speaker 6: be hard.
Speaker 4: But I.
Speaker 6: Can be a hypocrite on one side and say it
Speaker 6: the other on the other, you know, Ultimately, like I
Speaker 6: tried to tell him, look, let's just be friends, and
Speaker 6: it worked for a second, but I had to remember,
Speaker 6: like before we even got together, we were friends, and
Speaker 6: he couldn't really even be a good friend like he was.
Speaker 6: He's too emotionally attached and too obsessed with me to
Speaker 6: be my friend right now. So that's how that kind
Speaker 6: of ended. And I hope she's good, but you'll always
Speaker 6: have those garden.
Speaker 2: I hope she's good too.
Speaker 3: Man.
Speaker 4: Well, I mean, god, damn, I guess it's us.
Speaker 2: It's very useful.
Speaker 4: That you you got to talk to someone close to
Speaker 4: you who has been in a similar situation.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And I really like her answer too. I mean,
Speaker 6: she didn't want to be a hypocrite, but she was
Speaker 6: also really trying to get in with her her situation,
Speaker 6: and she just made me understand, like, look, if you
Speaker 6: feel like you have to have your gun on you
Speaker 6: when you're with him, it's not love. If you feel
Speaker 6: like he's going to trap you, it's not love. And
Speaker 6: that's just basically it.
Speaker 2: I feel like those are two very accurate states.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I yeah, And I just feel like I can't
Speaker 6: trust I couldn't trust him anymore, And it's really hard
Speaker 6: when I'm the type of person that loves real hard,
Speaker 6: cares real hard, and trusts real hard until you lose
Speaker 6: my trust. If you break my trust, it's going to
Speaker 6: be nearly impossible to gain it back. It's going to
Speaker 6: be years for you to be able to gain my
Speaker 6: trust back, because it's just like I give it all,
Speaker 6: you know, and if you break it, especially for no
Speaker 6: good reason, it's just like it breaks me to the
Speaker 6: point where I kind of like shut myself out from
Speaker 6: everybody else's emotions. Apart from that moment, I'm always thinking
Speaker 6: about other people's emotions first before my own. Well, I
Speaker 6: can't say first before my own. I always think about
Speaker 6: myself first because like I'm my most important person, but
Speaker 6: you know, I'm just that caring and if somebody breaks
Speaker 6: my trust then it's it's pretty much over after that.
Speaker 6: And I feel like so many times that I've had
Speaker 6: my trust broken, I fear that I'm going to get
Speaker 6: trust issues and not be able to trust any guy ever.
Speaker 6: And I don't want that to happen either. I don't
Speaker 6: want to be that type of bitch. I don't want
Speaker 6: to be like the bitch with the trust issues. That's crazy,
Speaker 6: Like I'm not. I feel like I'm a pretty chill individual,
Speaker 6: but it's just like at this point, I feel like
Speaker 6: I'm close to my breaking point in relationships, yet I
Speaker 6: crave one so badly. I don't want to lower my
Speaker 6: standards just because I'm lonely, but I don't know how
Speaker 6: to fill avoid Until then, I'm going.
Speaker 4: To tell you.
Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you something and maybe uh uh.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: You know this whole idea of like.
Speaker 4: The longer you go being lonely, the more you'll be
Speaker 4: like willing to accept a situation that's like below your
Speaker 4: own standards. You know, that's not a good It's not
Speaker 4: a good it's not a good negotiating position with yourself.
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying. It's not a good negotiation
Speaker 4: position to be in. Now, how exactly you get yourself
Speaker 4: out of that situation so that you can be in
Speaker 4: a better, let's call it negotiating position with yourself and
Speaker 4: with your life and with the relationships and things you
Speaker 4: choose to enter. I'm no expert on that, but I
Speaker 4: think it sounds like you're doing the right thing by
Speaker 4: putting yourself out there and by trying to cultivate this
Speaker 4: like abundance mindset, right because when you go to when
Speaker 4: you do these things that are are positive for yourself,
Speaker 4: like go to the you know, get yourself outside of
Speaker 4: your comfort zone and succeed.
Speaker 2: You'll start to realize like.
Speaker 4: Yo, I'm actually uh pretty cool, I'm actually uh uh
Speaker 4: pretty able to find like people that I like, and
Speaker 4: you will find yourself in a better bargaining position. So
Speaker 4: but it's hard because you because if you're lonely and
Speaker 4: like there's an antidote to your loneliness, uh you know,
Speaker 4: right fucking there. You know, it's sometimes it's like I
Speaker 4: don't care if that antidote to my loneliness, you know,
Speaker 4: hits me, Like I just don't want to be alone, right,
Speaker 4: But you know, and so I understand I understand the.
Speaker 2: The the impulse for sure.
Speaker 4: But I think if you hold out a little bit
Speaker 4: longer and you try to develop those parts of yourself
Speaker 4: that want to, you know, do things like put yourself
Speaker 4: out there and go on adventures and improve yourself and
Speaker 4: talk to people and whatnot, and you have fucking hold
Speaker 4: straw in to it, I think I think you'll find
Speaker 4: something better than if you had just kind of settled
Speaker 4: for for something less out of loneliness.
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah, you're totally right and badass. I don't see
Speaker 6: why people don't talk to me more often, I think.
Speaker 2: Your fucking Top Gun Maverick, Dude, I saw.
Speaker 6: That's like my dream, well, my dreams to be an astronaut,
Speaker 6: but I think becoming Top Gun Maverick, that would be
Speaker 6: pretty close.
Speaker 4: By the way, I'm gonna piss off a ton of
Speaker 4: people right now. Last night I watched the first forty
Speaker 4: minutes of Top Gun Maverick, and I fucking hated it
Speaker 4: so much. And maybe it's because it's it's probably it's
Speaker 4: probably because I didn't I was like talking about my
Speaker 4: friend and I were gonna watch it, and he was like,
Speaker 4: I've heard that you don't need to see the original
Speaker 4: one like the new one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's what I That's what I figured. That's
Speaker 2: what I figured. I hate.
Speaker 4: I probably hated it because I've never seen the original
Speaker 4: Top Gun and I was watching it and I'm like,
Speaker 4: I'm sure if I watched the first one.
Speaker 2: I would like this one.
Speaker 4: But I hated it so much, and my my qualms
Speaker 4: with it are probably negated by the fact that I
Speaker 4: haven't seen the first one.
Speaker 2: But I was watching it and I was like, this
Speaker 2: is not how real people.
Speaker 4: I just I like movies where like it feels like
Speaker 4: you're they're real people, and this felt like a movie
Speaker 4: with actors reciting dialogue to each other and like kind
Speaker 4: of it was forty minutes. Nothing fucking happened for the
Speaker 4: first forty minutes. They're in a bar, just like trying
Speaker 4: to be cool. For like forty minutes, it was just
Speaker 4: it was painful. But yeah, whatever, a bunch of people
Speaker 4: are gonna be like, oh, you didn't see the first one.
Speaker 4: You don't understand this guy, this thing and whatever.
Speaker 6: Anyway, you watched the first one and then you watch
Speaker 6: the second one, you'll understand and you'll really like it
Speaker 6: because you'll get into the story and the background of everything.
Speaker 6: Because that bar is very specific to the first movie,
Speaker 6: and like the whole the songs, the characters, like it
Speaker 6: all fits in with the first movie. So I would
Speaker 6: definitely suggest watch the first movie and then give the
Speaker 6: second movie another chance, like a real chance.
Speaker 4: I'll watch the first because I'm all the because the
Speaker 4: second movie is just like there's a bunch of close
Speaker 4: up shots of like some sad black and white guy,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, oh, I guess I would feel sad
Speaker 4: about this guy if I saw the first one. But anyway,
Speaker 4: fucking is there anything else you want to say to
Speaker 4: the people of the computer.
Speaker 2: Before we go.
Speaker 6: Yeah, everybody, don't settle for whatever's out there. Take your time,
Speaker 6: it's gonna suck. Get a fucking vibrator and go clubbing
Speaker 6: by yourself and get ridiculously drunk. Make sure you buy
Speaker 6: an uber and.
Speaker 5: Stay safe the fullest.
Speaker 2: Take care, Nadia, thanks for calling.
Speaker 6: Take care lysle have a good night.
Speaker 2: People.
Speaker 4: Always forget no matter what, you can always sit at
Speaker 4: home and jack off and no one will ever be
Speaker 4: able to take that away from you.
Speaker 3: There be KNT goes on the line taking your phone
Speaker 3: calls every night.
Speaker 5: The repine KNT goes doing his eye.
Speaker 2: He's teaching you a loud in the liver your life,
Speaker 2: but he's not ready. An expert