WEBVTT - Episode 303: The Get Back (Feat. Don Benjamin & Liane V) 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:02.200 What upp it is lip service and you know we 0:00:02.279 --> 0:00:04.440 start every episode with a woman on top, and this 0:00:04.480 --> 0:00:07.000 week is really special and very dear to my heart self. 0:00:07.000 --> 0:00:10.000 First of all, let's get our little Delian ready. You 0:00:10.039 --> 0:00:13.239 see this and I want to give this week to 0:00:13.880 --> 0:00:18.680 Ingrid Best. We all love Ingrid, but she just recently 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:21.240 got promoted to executive vice president and head of Global 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:26.680 Marketing at Combs Enterprises Spares. That is where from. That's 0:00:26.680 --> 0:00:28.920 where y'all get yours to rock from. And let me 0:00:28.960 --> 0:00:31.400 tell you something. I have personally done work with Ingrid. 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:33.239 And when you see this woman in a meeting, right, 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:35.440 and every time we've been in a meeting, you know 0:00:35.520 --> 0:00:38.720 that business is Sparens. Business is mostly white men. But 0:00:38.760 --> 0:00:41.240 when you see Ingrid come in there and command the room. 0:00:41.600 --> 0:00:43.760 Another thing that she has made sure she has done 0:00:43.880 --> 0:00:48.200 is successfully hire black marketing executives. So she's hired seven 0:00:48.200 --> 0:00:52.800 black marketing executives within her first few months of working. Yes, 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:55.400 so again we want to make sure that we give 0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:59.320 this close to miss Ingrid Best. She is super amazing. 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:01.319 You know they recruit did her she was working at 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:06.920 do say obviously Sean loved homes the reason she was 0:01:07.000 --> 0:01:09.479 and that's why he gave her her position and then 0:01:09.520 --> 0:01:11.800 just recently promoted her. She's been doing everything when it 0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:14.720 comes to diversity, when it comes to sales, when it 0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:18.360 comes to marketing. She knows every single aspect of the business. 0:01:18.400 --> 0:01:20.080 And I think that's one of the most important things 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:22.399 that you can do to be successful at what it 0:01:22.520 --> 0:01:25.080 is and no matter what business that you're in. So 0:01:26.000 --> 0:01:32.320 this toast to see great. She's the best best fears. 0:01:34.560 --> 0:01:37.280 What up? It's a lip service. I'm Angela, Yee, I'm 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:50.080 s Santiago, I'm Laria, Hey, Leanne, what's up? I'm yes, 0:01:50.200 --> 0:01:58.240 and welcome to the show. You guys back together again? Yes, yes, man, Listen, 0:01:58.240 --> 0:02:01.040 this is gonna be so enlightening for people today because 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:03.920 you know, a lot of people go through breakups and 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:06.440 Liam V I know you can share with us, you know, 0:02:06.640 --> 0:02:10.200 just how to effectively break up with somebody, because sometimes 0:02:10.240 --> 0:02:13.320 we break up with people and it's not like a 0:02:13.360 --> 0:02:16.040 clean break and we end up going back and forth 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:19.440 and it really drags out. And for you for a dime, Benjamin, 0:02:19.480 --> 0:02:21.000 I know you have a lot of advice to us 0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:23.519 and how you actually had to work on yourself so 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:25.519 that you guys to get back together. And while we've 0:02:25.520 --> 0:02:27.920 seen y'all on YouTube together, you guys have never actually 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:31.040 sat down and done an interview together. Yeah, that's the 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:36.080 first together. That's the first one. Crazy. We're soul to 0:02:36.160 --> 0:02:38.320 be here with you guys. I think that this is 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:41.360 gonna be a great competition to share just because we've 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:44.440 talked about on YouTube, you know, briefly, but we want 0:02:44.480 --> 0:02:46.520 to be able to continue to just reach out to 0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:49.519 our audience and let people know like we're real people. 0:02:49.800 --> 0:02:54.040 People experience, you know, breakups, heartbreak, like all the things 0:02:54.040 --> 0:02:57.160 that we go through. It's normal, you know, and we're 0:02:57.480 --> 0:03:00.480 to talk about it and share our experiences. So so 0:03:00.560 --> 0:03:03.280 many questions. First off, before we even get into it, 0:03:03.400 --> 0:03:06.280 how did y'all even meet and start dating? We met 0:03:06.280 --> 0:03:09.359 actually through mutual friends. We were in um we were 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:12.480 also in different relationships, and we just got connected through 0:03:12.520 --> 0:03:14.639 some work. I had just came off of America's Next 0:03:14.680 --> 0:03:19.200 Tour Model. She was blowing up on vine and so yeah, 0:03:19.240 --> 0:03:21.880 so some friends connected us and we just started like 0:03:21.919 --> 0:03:25.480 working together. We started shooting videos and and our whole 0:03:25.480 --> 0:03:28.160 group of circle of friends was just hanging out and 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:32.079 then um, the relationship actually came like three years, were 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:36.800 friends for three years and then um, and it happened. Yeah, 0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:40.880 who's idea was it to start documenting the relationship because 0:03:40.920 --> 0:03:43.760 you have so many followers and so many fans, you know, 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:47.040 just because you two are together and we're together before 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:50.160 broke up together, whatever. But you know whose idea was 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:55.560 it to say, like, let's just jump into this. Well, 0:03:55.640 --> 0:03:58.360 I only documents so much of my life, and I 0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:00.760 feel like, you know, people want to who you're doing 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:03.480 and what the relationship is like. And I decided, you know, 0:04:03.520 --> 0:04:05.680 we should come up with our own channel and just 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:08.360 share our relationship all the questions that people ask, let's 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:11.160 totally share with the world. And I feel like it's 0:04:11.160 --> 0:04:13.240 an organic thing. I don't like to do anything for 0:04:13.320 --> 0:04:15.080 us or film anything for us, so I felt like 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:16.680 it was such a natural thing for us to just 0:04:16.720 --> 0:04:20.599 start creating content and just sharing all our experiences together, 0:04:20.680 --> 0:04:23.920 travel blogs and you know, challenges and even pranks. I 0:04:23.960 --> 0:04:27.599 kind of want overboard on the pranks so much. I'm 0:04:27.600 --> 0:04:30.400 doing all these. I definitely stepped into her world. She 0:04:30.480 --> 0:04:32.839 was she was, she was running a social media world. 0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:34.839 I stepped into it and kind of just let her 0:04:35.200 --> 0:04:38.680 run this show. I don't know you guys. Guys first 0:04:38.680 --> 0:04:42.800 started doing like I started noticing you guys on Instagram. 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:45.200 I really, I'm a fan of you guys, I really, 0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:50.239 But that is a lot of pressure, right when people 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:52.760 are watching you and watching your relationship and some people 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:55.320 are like relationship goes, but you know, everything is not 0:04:55.400 --> 0:04:58.800 perfect all the time. I think it's so important though, 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:00.920 for any anybody that wants to go public and a 0:05:01.000 --> 0:05:05.000 relationship and do content, make sure your partner is for 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:08.000 sure that they want to be public, because I think 0:05:08.000 --> 0:05:10.839 the issue is we're back then it was more of 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:13.160 me and Donald was just Okay, I'll go with the flow. 0:05:13.160 --> 0:05:15.360 I'm enjoying it. It's you know, for our fans and 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:18.520 an audience, and um, you know, it's great content. I'm 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:21.839 enjoying it. But he wasn't fully wanting to do it 0:05:21.880 --> 0:05:23.720 as much as me. So it's so important to make 0:05:23.760 --> 0:05:26.480 sure your other partner wants it just as much as 0:05:26.480 --> 0:05:28.680 you do or is willing to do it, because you 0:05:28.680 --> 0:05:31.480 don't want your other partner to feel obligated because that's 0:05:31.480 --> 0:05:34.600 where I can create, and that's the pressure to like, yeah, 0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:37.559 the pressure just like you said, like making it seem 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:40.320 like everything is all like of course, we're shooting videos 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:43.160 that make people happy, so it's a lot of comedy videos. 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:46.159 But I think what we've learned is trying to find 0:05:46.160 --> 0:05:48.840 that balance to let people know that, yeah, we have 0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:52.480 real issues and go on in our relationship too. So yeah, 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:56.000 there's definitely that pressure, you know, because the world, you 0:05:56.000 --> 0:05:57.840 know how it is, like the world expects us to 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:00.600 be perfect and they expect us not to have issues. 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:02.960 So if they see any little slip up there in 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:04.760 them comments and they're on our head and then we 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:07.160 got to deal with it. And so yeah, the pressure 0:06:07.200 --> 0:06:09.080 in the spotlight is different when you're a couple in 0:06:09.160 --> 0:06:12.200 spotlight for sure. I feel like when I watched the 0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:16.480 video of YouTube explaining that you got back together, I 0:06:16.480 --> 0:06:18.760 feel like, even though you kind of told a lot, 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:21.840 you kind of didn't tell us anything right, you did 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:24.000 a good job at that because I was you was 0:06:24.040 --> 0:06:29.280 talking to us for like forty minutes. I was like, okay, why, okay, 0:06:29.279 --> 0:06:32.400 why the job break up? Exactly? So that's that's what 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:34.640 I kind of want to get to, like the the why, 0:06:34.880 --> 0:06:37.640 you know, what was the final straw and what did 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:40.080 you do to get to the point where it was 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:42.200 just like all right, I can't take it no more 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:45.159 and vice versa. Right, So we came up with a 0:06:45.200 --> 0:06:49.200 second video, which was it wasn't the reason why, the 0:06:49.240 --> 0:06:52.120 reason why we broke up. Why we did talk about 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:54.359 like there was infidelity and all of that involved in 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:57.520 the situation, so we can we came clean on that, 0:06:57.680 --> 0:07:00.560 and like, I didn't want to be who I didn't. 0:07:00.600 --> 0:07:02.520 We didn't want to just come out and say what happened, 0:07:02.560 --> 0:07:05.040 because you know how it is like if you say 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:07.240 you have to be be very particularly with how you 0:07:07.279 --> 0:07:10.400 say things, because not like as a man, for me, 0:07:10.520 --> 0:07:12.760 I didn't want to see like I was making excuses 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:15.480 with the situation or trying to like be like, well 0:07:15.520 --> 0:07:19.080 I did this, but uh, this is why or anything 0:07:19.720 --> 0:07:22.440 the reason why I wrote my book and I really 0:07:22.440 --> 0:07:25.120 went in the depth with not only things that I 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:28.240 have been battling in my generational curses and and trying 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:30.120 to figure out how to move in the industry as 0:07:30.160 --> 0:07:32.400 a man, and and all of these things that I learned. 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:35.040 I wanted to tell the full story to paint the 0:07:35.040 --> 0:07:36.760 picture better. So on the video, we didn't want it 0:07:36.800 --> 0:07:38.880 to be like, oh, well don did this and then 0:07:38.960 --> 0:07:40.560 leave it at that. We kind of wanted to tell 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:48.440 the whole story of what I yeah, you know, yeah exactly, 0:07:48.440 --> 0:07:51.040 and I admitted my wrong doing, but it was like 0:07:51.360 --> 0:07:53.800 the read like I just wanted to, like, you know, 0:07:54.160 --> 0:07:56.280 be cautious with how I did it and be able 0:07:56.320 --> 0:07:59.640 to let men know, like, look, we mess up, but 0:07:59.800 --> 0:08:02.200 you have the choice to either get back up and 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:05.239 learn from your mistakes or you know, most men are 0:08:05.280 --> 0:08:07.840 are ego and pride come in and we're like, yo, well, 0:08:08.440 --> 0:08:10.400 I don't got to explain nothing. I don't I could 0:08:10.440 --> 0:08:12.600 do what I you don't like if you can leave, 0:08:12.640 --> 0:08:14.960 like all these weird egotistical things coming to plane. I 0:08:14.960 --> 0:08:18.520 didn't want it to be that situation. So you know, 0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:23.600 it's just great to explain a little bit how it happened. 0:08:23.680 --> 0:08:26.800 Because we were together for going to be four years 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:30.760 and he proposed to me, um two years ago and 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:34.160 write two years ago like three years and it doesn't 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:39.280 count to you. And it's crazy because you you dream 0:08:39.280 --> 0:08:42.520 at this moment when someone proposes to you and you're like, okay, 0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:44.840 this is a bit like I'm gonna say yes, this 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:46.440 is going to be the person I'm spending the rest 0:08:46.440 --> 0:08:49.360 of my life with. That's how I'm supposed to feel. 0:08:49.400 --> 0:08:52.760 I have some confusion, I have some doubts, but I 0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:56.320 love him and my family loves him, and everything seems perfect. 0:08:56.440 --> 0:08:59.720 But everything that just looks perfect doesn't mean it's perfect within. 0:09:00.120 --> 0:09:02.400 So I felt like there were things that, of course 0:09:02.800 --> 0:09:04.800 dating done. When we first met, he got off America's 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:06.880 Next Top Model. He was a good looking, you know, 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:09.600 bad boy kind of vibe like he was didn't have 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:12.840 the cleanest reputation, like what from my friends were telling 0:09:12.960 --> 0:09:14.720 my girl, he's a player, blah blah blah blah. But 0:09:14.760 --> 0:09:17.760 you know, us girls, sometimes when we're not aware of 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:21.480 our self love and really digging into knowing what's best 0:09:21.520 --> 0:09:23.760 for us and our worth, we tend to settle for less, 0:09:23.760 --> 0:09:25.839 like oh I like the challenge, or I can change him. 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:27.720 And those are the issues that I feel that us 0:09:27.760 --> 0:09:31.160 women deal with as we grow and mature and pick 0:09:31.240 --> 0:09:32.600 the person that we want to spend the rest of 0:09:32.600 --> 0:09:35.200 our life with. So it wasn't even expected when I 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:38.719 met Don. We're friends and it just slowly gradually grew 0:09:39.000 --> 0:09:41.880 grew into a relationship. If our family got real close, 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:44.880 like my mom's best friend is his mom, and my 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:46.760 dad loves Done and looks at him as a son 0:09:46.880 --> 0:09:49.600 like everything just seems so great and we're super compatible 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:51.920 and we enjoy the same things in life, and I 0:09:51.960 --> 0:09:55.120 feel like, you know, everything is perfect, But there were 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:58.680 things that don is dealing with personally that I wasn't 0:09:58.720 --> 0:10:02.480 aware of. And there's also expectations on my end. As women, 0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:04.120 we want to we want to be loved this way 0:10:04.120 --> 0:10:06.400 when we want to be treated this way, and it's 0:10:06.440 --> 0:10:10.479 just it's really tough when you just kind of endlessly 0:10:11.200 --> 0:10:13.000 date or get to know someone. You want to make 0:10:13.040 --> 0:10:15.600 sure that you're checking the boxes that you know that, okay, 0:10:15.600 --> 0:10:19.400 this person has the same values, the religion, Like there's 0:10:19.440 --> 0:10:21.520 so many little aspects that you have to pay attention 0:10:21.559 --> 0:10:24.480 to through our relationship, you know. Once he proposed to me, 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:27.560 I you know, I do see myself spending the rest 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:29.800 of my life with him, But there were questions of 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:31.760 his loyalty, like there are things that he did in 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:34.319 the past that broke my trust. And it's like that 0:10:34.400 --> 0:10:38.680 weird transition, you know, getting women are men have to 0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:41.520 you know, for me, I was, I came off of 0:10:41.559 --> 0:10:44.640 the phase of from America's Next Top Model all the 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:48.480 way up until you know, two nineteen, that was six years. 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:51.240 But I was kind of cut stuck in this route 0:10:51.320 --> 0:10:53.440 of not really doing things the right way, you know, 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:57.640 and and I had to break these things. And there 0:10:57.720 --> 0:11:00.840 was flirtatious. It wasn't like this situation that came up. 0:11:01.640 --> 0:11:04.200 We didn't really talk about it. You can talk about it, 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:08.000 but there was like you can talk about it. Talk 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:09.880 about it. In my book, I talked about how there 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:11.920 was like a girl that was a friend and and 0:11:11.960 --> 0:11:14.520 there was like some conversations that were being had about 0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:17.199 hooking up before I become a married man and stuff. 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:19.160 And I knew the girl too, and so it was 0:11:19.360 --> 0:11:22.120 it was I thought that that girl was a safe girl, 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:25.920 like that was his friend. And I met first. I 0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:29.360 met her as Don's friend, and it wasn't like my 0:11:29.480 --> 0:11:31.959 it's a different one. It's my girls, but it's someone 0:11:32.000 --> 0:11:33.920 because he doesn't have a lot of homegirls. So when 0:11:33.960 --> 0:11:36.720 he has a one particular friend or two whatever, I 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:39.760 usually need them. I haven't met her, and he made 0:11:39.760 --> 0:11:41.640 it a point for us to me at one point, 0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:44.160 and I'm like, okay, so she seems really nice, but 0:11:44.160 --> 0:11:45.760 I'm gonna keep my eye on her. I just don't 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:53.480 know I got on. He was right, it's always you 0:11:53.679 --> 0:12:00.400 attation because you know, it's it's weird because you like 0:12:00.840 --> 0:12:02.920 our mind was a crazy thing, Like you have to 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:05.040 really be in control your mind as a man, Like 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:07.280 I was in a phase where I was, you know, 0:12:07.320 --> 0:12:09.480 I wasn't doing as much work, so I was bored. 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:12.000 My mind was kind of running weary. I'm about to 0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:13.880 get married, so I was in my head like, damn 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:15.640 about to be with this one woman. There was a 0:12:15.640 --> 0:12:18.000 lot of things that you have to tell me. And 0:12:18.040 --> 0:12:20.040 now you have to really be in the right mindset 0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:22.320 if you're really going to commit to a relationship and 0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:26.280 commit to one woman. Because as men, especially in the industry, 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:29.040 or if you're attractive, like you have all these things 0:12:29.080 --> 0:12:31.160 that you think it's okay for a man, Like a 0:12:31.200 --> 0:12:33.240 lot of men they're like, oh well, as long as 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:35.360 you don't get caught, or as long as you do 0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:38.520 it every once in a while, or it's just talk, 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:40.880 or there's so many excuses that men will make for 0:12:40.920 --> 0:12:44.040 these things that as I had to reshift my mindset 0:12:44.080 --> 0:12:46.400 and realized, like none of this stuff is cool that 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:49.400 so many women have to deal with on a daily basis, 0:12:49.400 --> 0:12:52.640 with men being funk boys and blas blah, and so 0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:57.080 you know, with this situation, like I totally in like 0:12:57.320 --> 0:13:00.000 as much as like in the moment when it happened, 0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:02.559 it was like a gift for me because it kind 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:04.480 of was like an awaken and where it's like, yo, 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:07.680 I don't like my father wasn't with my mother, and 0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:09.760 I was like in this path, was like I don't 0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:12.640 want to move in the same steps that my father 0:13:12.760 --> 0:13:14.439 was moving in. There's so many men that I've seen 0:13:14.480 --> 0:13:17.720 around me moving in, but yet I'm out here, I'm cheating, 0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:20.600 I'm doing this reckless ship to LeAnn, who has never 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:22.920 done nothing but being an amazing woman. It's so hard 0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:25.520 to come by, and so for me when it happened, 0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:28.560 it was like it needed to happen. And again it 0:13:28.600 --> 0:13:30.000 was weird because, like I said, I don't want to 0:13:30.080 --> 0:13:32.200 I wasn't trying to make an excuse, but it's like 0:13:32.640 --> 0:13:35.520 it sucks that sometimes these things have to happen and 0:13:35.559 --> 0:13:37.720 the right person is gonna wake up at the right time. 0:13:37.760 --> 0:13:40.720 Like some men, they will go through that experience and 0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:42.600 they won't really learn from it. They'll be like, well, 0:13:42.720 --> 0:13:45.760 I lost my woman. I'm gonna go and and go 0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:47.920 to the club boys and we're gonna turn up and 0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:51.280 I'm gonna find the next girl. Yeah. But for me, 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:54.120 it was like, Okay, let me learn from this situation. 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:57.280 Sit down, figure out why I did this to her? 0:13:57.360 --> 0:13:59.000 Why did I feel like it was cool to have 0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:02.319 this conversation who was around me that that I really 0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:04.720 have influenced me to do the right things? And so 0:14:05.200 --> 0:14:07.240 I took this situation. I was like, let me step 0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:10.079 back from my circle, let me put myself around the 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:13.280 talk to people like Davon Franklin, like passers to Terray, 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:15.920 you know, like go find people that I'm not usually 0:14:16.280 --> 0:14:20.200 watching videos of or talking to and learn and see 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:22.840 what they did. Like how are you in this happy marriage? 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:26.400 How did you overcome the temptations of women in this industry? 0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:28.320 You know what I'm saying. And like in the midst 0:14:28.400 --> 0:14:30.920 of it at first, like I was blowing her up, 0:14:30.960 --> 0:14:34.040 like yo, like let's make this work, Like I'm sorry 0:14:34.960 --> 0:14:37.640 after that moment when we broke up, like I told 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:40.760 he was out of town actually, and I FaceTime him 0:14:41.200 --> 0:14:43.440 and I'm like, when you come back, all your stuff 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:46.600 is packed, you're leaving, you're out. Well yeah, well yeah, 0:14:46.680 --> 0:14:50.120 back up, So tell us what you say that made 0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:54.800 you while people away be like so so we've all 0:14:54.840 --> 0:14:57.200 been guilty, Like all the girls have been guilty. When 0:14:57.240 --> 0:14:59.400 you get that intuition where you want to go through 0:14:59.400 --> 0:15:03.920 their phone or go through something and like your anxieties 0:15:03.960 --> 0:15:05.320 like oh my god, I want to go through something 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:09.680 I had to do and then but it wasn't a phone, 0:15:09.880 --> 0:15:14.800 so he had an Apple And it's funny because differences 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:20.600 the same thing, and like I had a feeling that 0:15:20.720 --> 0:15:24.440 when he left town, I checked his Apple Watch and 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:26.760 I saw a conversation from that girl that And it's 0:15:26.760 --> 0:15:29.440 funny because I only looked at her text message because 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:32.160 you knew that what she was looking I want and 0:15:32.240 --> 0:15:35.560 I know what. I've seen it before. And Don's very 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:38.160 open with like he'll I know his passwords and everything. 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:40.160 But that doesn't mean anything because people can delete things, 0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:43.760 you know. And I went through his Apple Watch and 0:15:43.800 --> 0:15:46.640 I've seen a conversation and it was pretty much what 0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:50.240 he said. How she actually was entertaining, like oh my god, 0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:53.040 I'm so excited for guys to get married, like what 0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:55.440 are you gonna do? Like like how are you gonna 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:57.480 You're gonna do a bachelor party? Blah blah blah, and 0:15:57.520 --> 0:15:59.720 talking about I can plan on your whole bachelor party, 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:03.640 you're gonna be to dance fast. And then I listen 0:16:03.800 --> 0:16:05.640 they went down memory lane and I just found out 0:16:05.680 --> 0:16:09.920 that they hooked up a long time ago. Okay, So 0:16:10.160 --> 0:16:12.280 I was just like, you know what this is, it's over. 0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:14.880 And I my girls were there at the moment. They 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:17.760 were asleep and I woke them up, and I'm just like, 0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:20.720 it's over. I'm breaking up with them. It's real, like 0:16:20.800 --> 0:16:22.760 it's over, and like they helped me pack all his 0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:26.360 stuff and how was it. I facetimed him and I 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:29.880 called him and he was just shocked. He shook like 0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:31.680 he did not even know what I was talking about, 0:16:32.080 --> 0:16:34.200 because I'm sure he thought that he deleted the messages. 0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:37.480 But the apple watch pretty much collects all the conversations 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:39.480 that you help on your phone. So I went through 0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:43.040 his apple Watch. I saw everything. And then he came 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:45.640 back and you know, we split up, and he just 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:48.360 like begged just to have one last conversation with the family, 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:50.880 because honestly, the breakup wasn't just between me and Dawn. 0:16:51.240 --> 0:16:56.600 It was between our two and parents, like our mother's 0:16:56.600 --> 0:16:59.120 are best friends, so it was like a whole family breakup. 0:16:59.800 --> 0:17:03.160 So I let him have like the whole conclusion of everything, like, hey, 0:17:03.240 --> 0:17:05.959 this is what happened, and you know we're breaking up. 0:17:06.400 --> 0:17:08.520 Did his mom's had to convince you to stay with him? 0:17:09.560 --> 0:17:12.400 My mom went? My mom honestly the point went crazier 0:17:12.400 --> 0:17:18.320 than me, Like she was, she was, she was, Oh 0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:21.879 my god. It was really bad because it just felt 0:17:21.920 --> 0:17:24.480 like the longest breakup ever. Usually when you're having a 0:17:24.480 --> 0:17:26.600 breakup is just between you and that person, but it 0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:29.520 felt like everyone was going through a breakup. My mom 0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:34.480 was so heartbroken. My dad was really disappointed. And it's 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:36.960 just tough because when you're so used to a routine 0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:40.680 of like having someone around and having your friends, like, 0:17:40.840 --> 0:17:42.960 you know, help with the wedding and all this stuff. 0:17:43.000 --> 0:17:44.399 It's like you were planning for a wedding and all 0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:48.560 of a sudden it's completely over. And one thing I've learned, 0:17:48.600 --> 0:17:52.040 like just overall, for women that go through this, it's 0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:54.960 not your fault. I don't know because I was questioning 0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:56.920 me at one point, and I was doing so much 0:17:56.960 --> 0:17:59.359 research like why did men cheat? Did I not do 0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:02.200 something my drawing? At some point like what is wrong 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:04.840 with me? Me? Me? It's not even about you. A 0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:06.560 woman will never be good enough for a man that's 0:18:06.560 --> 0:18:10.200 not ready and understanding that, you know, I felt more 0:18:10.800 --> 0:18:13.280 at peace with myself and knowing that this is Dawn's 0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:16.720 problem and cutting him off completely. So we just completely 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:18.560 part of ways. I told him, if you ever try 0:18:18.560 --> 0:18:19.840 to sneak up and pop up at the house and 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:25.600 clone cops like, don't care, come over. Wait a minute, 0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:30.600 was this the first time you cheated or got intuition 0:18:30.680 --> 0:18:33.320 that he did cheat? No, so there have been an 0:18:33.359 --> 0:18:38.160 issue like early in our relationship, like the first year, 0:18:38.840 --> 0:18:41.920 and then um, there was like certain situations where she 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:44.240 would be worried where again I was on the road, 0:18:44.280 --> 0:18:47.000 I was hosting clubs, I'll be out all night, and 0:18:47.040 --> 0:18:49.080 so there was a lot of just recklessness that was 0:18:49.359 --> 0:18:51.560 that was happening that wasn't given her the confidence to 0:18:51.600 --> 0:18:53.640 be like, yo, he's out here actually doing the right thing, 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:56.439 you know. So I like, that's why I said, as 0:18:56.440 --> 0:18:59.920 a man like I didn't I have all the reason 0:19:00.000 --> 0:19:01.600 and for her to wake up and be like, look, 0:19:01.680 --> 0:19:04.760 you haven't been the right man always, regardless of how 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:07.360 much we love each other, how happy we are when 0:19:07.400 --> 0:19:10.399 we are together, like I was still doing dumb stuff 0:19:10.440 --> 0:19:14.520 that wasn't really really securing her and so when this 0:19:14.640 --> 0:19:17.600 situation happened, that's why it was like it was the 0:19:17.680 --> 0:19:21.240 last straw, because it's like over the past few years, like, yeah, 0:19:21.240 --> 0:19:24.240 you haven't done the craziest things, but for a woman, 0:19:24.400 --> 0:19:27.760 like one small thing like this is like it's not cool, 0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:30.320 you know what I'm saying. And we don't really think 0:19:30.359 --> 0:19:33.600 like that a lot of times, and and in this situation, 0:19:33.720 --> 0:19:36.760 I was That's why I was like, man like, like why, 0:19:37.000 --> 0:19:38.640 like why I don't want her to feel like it's 0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:41.000 hurt because it wasn't. It had nothing to do with her, 0:19:41.119 --> 0:19:45.119 Like we're happy, she's beautiful, Like the sex life is amazing, 0:19:45.160 --> 0:19:47.520 Like everything was good. It's just there was things that 0:19:47.560 --> 0:19:49.760 I was dealing with as a man that when this 0:19:49.920 --> 0:19:51.800 kind of came to the light, you know, it was 0:19:51.880 --> 0:19:54.600 like God was like, Yo, this is something you want 0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:57.040 to do with it or otherwise y'all will be back together. 0:19:57.119 --> 0:19:59.720