Speaker 1: What upp it is lip service and you know we
Speaker 1: start every episode with a woman on top, and this
Speaker 1: week is really special and very dear to my heart self.
Speaker 1: First of all, let's get our little Delian ready. You
Speaker 1: see this and I want to give this week to
Speaker 1: Ingrid Best. We all love Ingrid, but she just recently
Speaker 1: got promoted to executive vice president and head of Global
Speaker 1: Marketing at Combs Enterprises Spares. That is where from. That's
Speaker 1: where y'all get yours to rock from. And let me
Speaker 1: tell you something. I have personally done work with Ingrid.
Speaker 1: And when you see this woman in a meeting, right,
Speaker 1: and every time we've been in a meeting, you know
Speaker 1: that business is Sparens. Business is mostly white men. But
Speaker 1: when you see Ingrid come in there and command the room.
Speaker 1: Another thing that she has made sure she has done
Speaker 1: is successfully hire black marketing executives. So she's hired seven
Speaker 1: black marketing executives within her first few months of working. Yes,
Speaker 1: so again we want to make sure that we give
Speaker 1: this close to miss Ingrid Best. She is super amazing.
Speaker 1: You know they recruit did her she was working at
Speaker 1: do say obviously Sean loved homes the reason she was
Speaker 1: and that's why he gave her her position and then
Speaker 1: just recently promoted her. She's been doing everything when it
Speaker 1: comes to diversity, when it comes to sales, when it
Speaker 1: comes to marketing. She knows every single aspect of the business.
Speaker 1: And I think that's one of the most important things
Speaker 1: that you can do to be successful at what it
Speaker 1: is and no matter what business that you're in. So
Speaker 1: this toast to see great. She's the best best fears.
Speaker 1: What up? It's a lip service. I'm Angela, Yee, I'm
Speaker 1: s Santiago, I'm Laria, Hey, Leanne, what's up? I'm yes,
Speaker 1: and welcome to the show. You guys back together again? Yes, yes, man, Listen,
Speaker 1: this is gonna be so enlightening for people today because
Speaker 1: you know, a lot of people go through breakups and
Speaker 1: Liam V I know you can share with us, you know,
Speaker 1: just how to effectively break up with somebody, because sometimes
Speaker 1: we break up with people and it's not like a
Speaker 1: clean break and we end up going back and forth
Speaker 1: and it really drags out. And for you for a dime, Benjamin,
Speaker 1: I know you have a lot of advice to us
Speaker 1: and how you actually had to work on yourself so
Speaker 1: that you guys to get back together. And while we've
Speaker 1: seen y'all on YouTube together, you guys have never actually
Speaker 1: sat down and done an interview together. Yeah, that's the
Speaker 1: first together. That's the first one. Crazy. We're soul to
Speaker 1: be here with you guys. I think that this is
Speaker 1: gonna be a great competition to share just because we've
Speaker 1: talked about on YouTube, you know, briefly, but we want
Speaker 1: to be able to continue to just reach out to
Speaker 1: our audience and let people know like we're real people.
Speaker 1: People experience, you know, breakups, heartbreak, like all the things
Speaker 1: that we go through. It's normal, you know, and we're
Speaker 1: to talk about it and share our experiences. So so
Speaker 1: many questions. First off, before we even get into it,
Speaker 1: how did y'all even meet and start dating? We met
Speaker 1: actually through mutual friends. We were in um we were
Speaker 1: also in different relationships, and we just got connected through
Speaker 1: some work. I had just came off of America's Next
Speaker 1: Tour Model. She was blowing up on vine and so yeah,
Speaker 1: so some friends connected us and we just started like
Speaker 1: working together. We started shooting videos and and our whole
Speaker 1: group of circle of friends was just hanging out and
Speaker 1: then um, the relationship actually came like three years, were
Speaker 1: friends for three years and then um, and it happened. Yeah,
Speaker 1: who's idea was it to start documenting the relationship because
Speaker 1: you have so many followers and so many fans, you know,
Speaker 1: just because you two are together and we're together before
Speaker 1: broke up together, whatever. But you know whose idea was
Speaker 1: it to say, like, let's just jump into this. Well,
Speaker 1: I only documents so much of my life, and I
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, people want to who you're doing
Speaker 1: and what the relationship is like. And I decided, you know,
Speaker 1: we should come up with our own channel and just
Speaker 1: share our relationship all the questions that people ask, let's
Speaker 1: totally share with the world. And I feel like it's
Speaker 1: an organic thing. I don't like to do anything for
Speaker 1: us or film anything for us, so I felt like
Speaker 1: it was such a natural thing for us to just
Speaker 1: start creating content and just sharing all our experiences together,
Speaker 1: travel blogs and you know, challenges and even pranks. I
Speaker 1: kind of want overboard on the pranks so much. I'm
Speaker 1: doing all these. I definitely stepped into her world. She
Speaker 1: was she was, she was running a social media world.
Speaker 1: I stepped into it and kind of just let her
Speaker 1: run this show. I don't know you guys. Guys first
Speaker 1: started doing like I started noticing you guys on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I really, I'm a fan of you guys, I really,
Speaker 1: But that is a lot of pressure, right when people
Speaker 1: are watching you and watching your relationship and some people
Speaker 1: are like relationship goes, but you know, everything is not
Speaker 1: perfect all the time. I think it's so important though,
Speaker 1: for any anybody that wants to go public and a
Speaker 1: relationship and do content, make sure your partner is for
Speaker 1: sure that they want to be public, because I think
Speaker 1: the issue is we're back then it was more of
Speaker 1: me and Donald was just Okay, I'll go with the flow.
Speaker 1: I'm enjoying it. It's you know, for our fans and
Speaker 1: an audience, and um, you know, it's great content. I'm
Speaker 1: enjoying it. But he wasn't fully wanting to do it
Speaker 1: as much as me. So it's so important to make
Speaker 1: sure your other partner wants it just as much as
Speaker 1: you do or is willing to do it, because you
Speaker 1: don't want your other partner to feel obligated because that's
Speaker 1: where I can create, and that's the pressure to like, yeah,
Speaker 1: the pressure just like you said, like making it seem
Speaker 1: like everything is all like of course, we're shooting videos
Speaker 1: that make people happy, so it's a lot of comedy videos.
Speaker 1: But I think what we've learned is trying to find
Speaker 1: that balance to let people know that, yeah, we have
Speaker 1: real issues and go on in our relationship too. So yeah,
Speaker 1: there's definitely that pressure, you know, because the world, you
Speaker 1: know how it is, like the world expects us to
Speaker 1: be perfect and they expect us not to have issues.
Speaker 1: So if they see any little slip up there in
Speaker 1: them comments and they're on our head and then we
Speaker 1: got to deal with it. And so yeah, the pressure
Speaker 1: in the spotlight is different when you're a couple in
Speaker 1: spotlight for sure. I feel like when I watched the
Speaker 1: video of YouTube explaining that you got back together, I
Speaker 1: feel like, even though you kind of told a lot,
Speaker 1: you kind of didn't tell us anything right, you did
Speaker 1: a good job at that because I was you was
Speaker 1: talking to us for like forty minutes. I was like, okay, why, okay,
Speaker 1: why the job break up? Exactly? So that's that's what
Speaker 1: I kind of want to get to, like the the why,
Speaker 1: you know, what was the final straw and what did
Speaker 1: you do to get to the point where it was
Speaker 1: just like all right, I can't take it no more
Speaker 1: and vice versa. Right, So we came up with a
Speaker 1: second video, which was it wasn't the reason why, the
Speaker 1: reason why we broke up. Why we did talk about
Speaker 1: like there was infidelity and all of that involved in
Speaker 1: the situation, so we can we came clean on that,
Speaker 1: and like, I didn't want to be who I didn't.
Speaker 1: We didn't want to just come out and say what happened,
Speaker 1: because you know how it is like if you say
Speaker 1: you have to be be very particularly with how you
Speaker 1: say things, because not like as a man, for me,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to see like I was making excuses
Speaker 1: with the situation or trying to like be like, well
Speaker 1: I did this, but uh, this is why or anything
Speaker 1: the reason why I wrote my book and I really
Speaker 1: went in the depth with not only things that I
Speaker 1: have been battling in my generational curses and and trying
Speaker 1: to figure out how to move in the industry as
Speaker 1: a man, and and all of these things that I learned.
Speaker 1: I wanted to tell the full story to paint the
Speaker 1: picture better. So on the video, we didn't want it
Speaker 1: to be like, oh, well don did this and then
Speaker 1: leave it at that. We kind of wanted to tell
Speaker 1: the whole story of what I yeah, you know, yeah exactly,
Speaker 1: and I admitted my wrong doing, but it was like
Speaker 1: the read like I just wanted to, like, you know,
Speaker 1: be cautious with how I did it and be able
Speaker 1: to let men know, like, look, we mess up, but
Speaker 1: you have the choice to either get back up and
Speaker 1: learn from your mistakes or you know, most men are
Speaker 1: are ego and pride come in and we're like, yo, well,
Speaker 1: I don't got to explain nothing. I don't I could
Speaker 1: do what I you don't like if you can leave,
Speaker 1: like all these weird egotistical things coming to plane. I
Speaker 1: didn't want it to be that situation. So you know,
Speaker 1: it's just great to explain a little bit how it happened.
Speaker 1: Because we were together for going to be four years
Speaker 1: and he proposed to me, um two years ago and
Speaker 1: write two years ago like three years and it doesn't
Speaker 1: count to you. And it's crazy because you you dream
Speaker 1: at this moment when someone proposes to you and you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: this is a bit like I'm gonna say yes, this
Speaker 1: is going to be the person I'm spending the rest
Speaker 1: of my life with. That's how I'm supposed to feel.
Speaker 1: I have some confusion, I have some doubts, but I
Speaker 1: love him and my family loves him, and everything seems perfect.
Speaker 1: But everything that just looks perfect doesn't mean it's perfect within.
Speaker 1: So I felt like there were things that, of course
Speaker 1: dating done. When we first met, he got off America's
Speaker 1: Next Top Model. He was a good looking, you know,
Speaker 1: bad boy kind of vibe like he was didn't have
Speaker 1: the cleanest reputation, like what from my friends were telling
Speaker 1: my girl, he's a player, blah blah blah blah. But
Speaker 1: you know, us girls, sometimes when we're not aware of
Speaker 1: our self love and really digging into knowing what's best
Speaker 1: for us and our worth, we tend to settle for less,
Speaker 1: like oh I like the challenge, or I can change him.
Speaker 1: And those are the issues that I feel that us
Speaker 1: women deal with as we grow and mature and pick
Speaker 1: the person that we want to spend the rest of
Speaker 1: our life with. So it wasn't even expected when I
Speaker 1: met Don. We're friends and it just slowly gradually grew
Speaker 1: grew into a relationship. If our family got real close,
Speaker 1: like my mom's best friend is his mom, and my
Speaker 1: dad loves Done and looks at him as a son
Speaker 1: like everything just seems so great and we're super compatible
Speaker 1: and we enjoy the same things in life, and I
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, everything is perfect, But there were
Speaker 1: things that don is dealing with personally that I wasn't
Speaker 1: aware of. And there's also expectations on my end. As women,
Speaker 1: we want to we want to be loved this way
Speaker 1: when we want to be treated this way, and it's
Speaker 1: just it's really tough when you just kind of endlessly
Speaker 1: date or get to know someone. You want to make
Speaker 1: sure that you're checking the boxes that you know that, okay,
Speaker 1: this person has the same values, the religion, Like there's
Speaker 1: so many little aspects that you have to pay attention
Speaker 1: to through our relationship, you know. Once he proposed to me,
Speaker 1: I you know, I do see myself spending the rest
Speaker 1: of my life with him, But there were questions of
Speaker 1: his loyalty, like there are things that he did in
Speaker 1: the past that broke my trust. And it's like that
Speaker 1: weird transition, you know, getting women are men have to
Speaker 1: you know, for me, I was, I came off of
Speaker 1: the phase of from America's Next Top Model all the
Speaker 1: way up until you know, two nineteen, that was six years.
Speaker 1: But I was kind of cut stuck in this route
Speaker 1: of not really doing things the right way, you know,
Speaker 1: and and I had to break these things. And there
Speaker 1: was flirtatious. It wasn't like this situation that came up.
Speaker 1: We didn't really talk about it. You can talk about it,
Speaker 1: but there was like you can talk about it. Talk
Speaker 1: about it. In my book, I talked about how there
Speaker 1: was like a girl that was a friend and and
Speaker 1: there was like some conversations that were being had about
Speaker 1: hooking up before I become a married man and stuff.
Speaker 1: And I knew the girl too, and so it was
Speaker 1: it was I thought that that girl was a safe girl,
Speaker 1: like that was his friend. And I met first. I
Speaker 1: met her as Don's friend, and it wasn't like my
Speaker 1: it's a different one. It's my girls, but it's someone
Speaker 1: because he doesn't have a lot of homegirls. So when
Speaker 1: he has a one particular friend or two whatever, I
Speaker 1: usually need them. I haven't met her, and he made
Speaker 1: it a point for us to me at one point,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, so she seems really nice, but
Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep my eye on her. I just don't
Speaker 1: know I got on. He was right, it's always you
Speaker 1: attation because you know, it's it's weird because you like
Speaker 1: our mind was a crazy thing, Like you have to
Speaker 1: really be in control your mind as a man, Like
Speaker 1: I was in a phase where I was, you know,
Speaker 1: I wasn't doing as much work, so I was bored.
Speaker 1: My mind was kind of running weary. I'm about to
Speaker 1: get married, so I was in my head like, damn
Speaker 1: about to be with this one woman. There was a
Speaker 1: lot of things that you have to tell me. And
Speaker 1: now you have to really be in the right mindset
Speaker 1: if you're really going to commit to a relationship and
Speaker 1: commit to one woman. Because as men, especially in the industry,
Speaker 1: or if you're attractive, like you have all these things
Speaker 1: that you think it's okay for a man, Like a
Speaker 1: lot of men they're like, oh well, as long as
Speaker 1: you don't get caught, or as long as you do
Speaker 1: it every once in a while, or it's just talk,
Speaker 1: or there's so many excuses that men will make for
Speaker 1: these things that as I had to reshift my mindset
Speaker 1: and realized, like none of this stuff is cool that
Speaker 1: so many women have to deal with on a daily basis,
Speaker 1: with men being funk boys and blas blah, and so
Speaker 1: you know, with this situation, like I totally in like
Speaker 1: as much as like in the moment when it happened,
Speaker 1: it was like a gift for me because it kind
Speaker 1: of was like an awaken and where it's like, yo,
Speaker 1: I don't like my father wasn't with my mother, and
Speaker 1: I was like in this path, was like I don't
Speaker 1: want to move in the same steps that my father
Speaker 1: was moving in. There's so many men that I've seen
Speaker 1: around me moving in, but yet I'm out here, I'm cheating,
Speaker 1: I'm doing this reckless ship to LeAnn, who has never
Speaker 1: done nothing but being an amazing woman. It's so hard
Speaker 1: to come by, and so for me when it happened,
Speaker 1: it was like it needed to happen. And again it
Speaker 1: was weird because, like I said, I don't want to
Speaker 1: I wasn't trying to make an excuse, but it's like
Speaker 1: it sucks that sometimes these things have to happen and
Speaker 1: the right person is gonna wake up at the right time.
Speaker 1: Like some men, they will go through that experience and
Speaker 1: they won't really learn from it. They'll be like, well,
Speaker 1: I lost my woman. I'm gonna go and and go
Speaker 1: to the club boys and we're gonna turn up and
Speaker 1: I'm gonna find the next girl. Yeah. But for me,
Speaker 1: it was like, Okay, let me learn from this situation.
Speaker 1: Sit down, figure out why I did this to her?
Speaker 1: Why did I feel like it was cool to have
Speaker 1: this conversation who was around me that that I really
Speaker 1: have influenced me to do the right things? And so
Speaker 1: I took this situation. I was like, let me step
Speaker 1: back from my circle, let me put myself around the
Speaker 1: talk to people like Davon Franklin, like passers to Terray,
Speaker 1: you know, like go find people that I'm not usually
Speaker 1: watching videos of or talking to and learn and see
Speaker 1: what they did. Like how are you in this happy marriage?
Speaker 1: How did you overcome the temptations of women in this industry?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. And like in the midst
Speaker 1: of it at first, like I was blowing her up,
Speaker 1: like yo, like let's make this work, Like I'm sorry
Speaker 1: after that moment when we broke up, like I told
Speaker 1: he was out of town actually, and I FaceTime him
Speaker 1: and I'm like, when you come back, all your stuff
Speaker 1: is packed, you're leaving, you're out. Well yeah, well yeah,
Speaker 1: back up, So tell us what you say that made
Speaker 1: you while people away be like so so we've all
Speaker 1: been guilty, Like all the girls have been guilty. When
Speaker 1: you get that intuition where you want to go through
Speaker 1: their phone or go through something and like your anxieties
Speaker 1: like oh my god, I want to go through something
Speaker 1: I had to do and then but it wasn't a phone,
Speaker 1: so he had an Apple And it's funny because differences
Speaker 1: the same thing, and like I had a feeling that
Speaker 1: when he left town, I checked his Apple Watch and
Speaker 1: I saw a conversation from that girl that And it's
Speaker 1: funny because I only looked at her text message because
Speaker 1: you knew that what she was looking I want and
Speaker 1: I know what. I've seen it before. And Don's very
Speaker 1: open with like he'll I know his passwords and everything.
Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean anything because people can delete things,
Speaker 1: you know. And I went through his Apple Watch and
Speaker 1: I've seen a conversation and it was pretty much what
Speaker 1: he said. How she actually was entertaining, like oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm so excited for guys to get married, like what
Speaker 1: are you gonna do? Like like how are you gonna
Speaker 1: You're gonna do a bachelor party? Blah blah blah, and
Speaker 1: talking about I can plan on your whole bachelor party,
Speaker 1: you're gonna be to dance fast. And then I listen
Speaker 1: they went down memory lane and I just found out
Speaker 1: that they hooked up a long time ago. Okay, So
Speaker 1: I was just like, you know what this is, it's over.
Speaker 1: And I my girls were there at the moment. They
Speaker 1: were asleep and I woke them up, and I'm just like,
Speaker 1: it's over. I'm breaking up with them. It's real, like
Speaker 1: it's over, and like they helped me pack all his
Speaker 1: stuff and how was it. I facetimed him and I
Speaker 1: called him and he was just shocked. He shook like
Speaker 1: he did not even know what I was talking about,
Speaker 1: because I'm sure he thought that he deleted the messages.
Speaker 1: But the apple watch pretty much collects all the conversations
Speaker 1: that you help on your phone. So I went through
Speaker 1: his apple Watch. I saw everything. And then he came
Speaker 1: back and you know, we split up, and he just
Speaker 1: like begged just to have one last conversation with the family,
Speaker 1: because honestly, the breakup wasn't just between me and Dawn.
Speaker 1: It was between our two and parents, like our mother's
Speaker 1: are best friends, so it was like a whole family breakup.
Speaker 1: So I let him have like the whole conclusion of everything, like, hey,
Speaker 1: this is what happened, and you know we're breaking up.
Speaker 1: Did his mom's had to convince you to stay with him?
Speaker 1: My mom went? My mom honestly the point went crazier
Speaker 1: than me, Like she was, she was, she was, Oh
Speaker 1: my god. It was really bad because it just felt
Speaker 1: like the longest breakup ever. Usually when you're having a
Speaker 1: breakup is just between you and that person, but it
Speaker 1: felt like everyone was going through a breakup. My mom
Speaker 1: was so heartbroken. My dad was really disappointed. And it's
Speaker 1: just tough because when you're so used to a routine
Speaker 1: of like having someone around and having your friends, like,
Speaker 1: you know, help with the wedding and all this stuff.
Speaker 1: It's like you were planning for a wedding and all
Speaker 1: of a sudden it's completely over. And one thing I've learned,
Speaker 1: like just overall, for women that go through this, it's
Speaker 1: not your fault. I don't know because I was questioning
Speaker 1: me at one point, and I was doing so much
Speaker 1: research like why did men cheat? Did I not do
Speaker 1: something my drawing? At some point like what is wrong
Speaker 1: with me? Me? Me? It's not even about you. A
Speaker 1: woman will never be good enough for a man that's
Speaker 1: not ready and understanding that, you know, I felt more
Speaker 1: at peace with myself and knowing that this is Dawn's
Speaker 1: problem and cutting him off completely. So we just completely
Speaker 1: part of ways. I told him, if you ever try
Speaker 1: to sneak up and pop up at the house and
Speaker 1: clone cops like, don't care, come over. Wait a minute,
Speaker 1: was this the first time you cheated or got intuition
Speaker 1: that he did cheat? No, so there have been an
Speaker 1: issue like early in our relationship, like the first year,
Speaker 1: and then um, there was like certain situations where she
Speaker 1: would be worried where again I was on the road,
Speaker 1: I was hosting clubs, I'll be out all night, and
Speaker 1: so there was a lot of just recklessness that was
Speaker 1: that was happening that wasn't given her the confidence to
Speaker 1: be like, yo, he's out here actually doing the right thing,
Speaker 1: you know. So I like, that's why I said, as
Speaker 1: a man like I didn't I have all the reason
Speaker 1: and for her to wake up and be like, look,
Speaker 1: you haven't been the right man always, regardless of how
Speaker 1: much we love each other, how happy we are when
Speaker 1: we are together, like I was still doing dumb stuff
Speaker 1: that wasn't really really securing her and so when this
Speaker 1: situation happened, that's why it was like it was the
Speaker 1: last straw, because it's like over the past few years, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you haven't done the craziest things, but for a woman,
Speaker 1: like one small thing like this is like it's not cool,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And we don't really think
Speaker 1: like that a lot of times, and and in this situation,
Speaker 1: I was That's why I was like, man like, like why,
Speaker 1: like why I don't want her to feel like it's
Speaker 1: hurt because it wasn't. It had nothing to do with her,
Speaker 1: Like we're happy, she's beautiful, Like the sex life is amazing,
Speaker 1: Like everything was good. It's just there was things that
Speaker 1: I was dealing with as a man that when this
Speaker 1: kind of came to the light, you know, it was
Speaker 1: like God was like, Yo, this is something you want
Speaker 1: to do with it or otherwise y'all will be back together.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. How accountable is the other
Speaker 1: one in right? Because obviously you two are in a
Speaker 1: relationship with each other, and a lot of times women
Speaker 1: get mad at the other woman as well. Do you
Speaker 1: think because she knew that you guys were in a relationship,
Speaker 1: that she's at all accountable as well. And that's the
Speaker 1: thing with me, like I take all blame because me
Speaker 1: as a man in this relationship, like I should be
Speaker 1: strong enough to know how to cut that conversation, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like even if the other like, yeah,
Speaker 1: she she shouldn't have went there. But I feel like
Speaker 1: me as the man in the situation, like I should
Speaker 1: be strong enough to represent my woman, like I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna let you disrespect our relationship like that, like whatever
Speaker 1: we had to pass, you know. And so in the
Speaker 1: moment I was in my mind, I was like, man,
Speaker 1: she got me. Why she do this? Like it's her fault,
Speaker 1: we're not we're breaking up. But but once I went
Speaker 1: in a full accountability mode, like everything really falls on me,
Speaker 1: Like I need to know how to handle myself around
Speaker 1: women a man in relationship, we need to know how
Speaker 1: to have them boundaries if it is a female friend,
Speaker 1: a worker and acquaintance, whatever it is, you know. And
Speaker 1: we talked about that on our YouTube video, where is
Speaker 1: it okay for your significant other to have the opposite
Speaker 1: sex friend? And I think that it should be okay,
Speaker 1: But there needs to be boundaries, there has to be
Speaker 1: helps in respect because at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be the same girl that I
Speaker 1: was last time, where I'm checking your phone and I'm
Speaker 1: feeling insecure, like it's taking too much away from me
Speaker 1: where I'm not able to focus and be at peace
Speaker 1: with myself. So that's another thing, was a year of
Speaker 1: self love and growth and just really becoming more at
Speaker 1: peace with myself because getting involved and trying to check
Speaker 1: his phone and worrying about him that I'm never going
Speaker 1: to be in a relationship like that again. And of
Speaker 1: course it takes time to heal, because right now I'm
Speaker 1: still healing. I'm not I'm gonna be honest. I'm not
Speaker 1: trusting Dob. I don't know if I ever I was
Speaker 1: going to actually has to be. So we also talked
Speaker 1: about this too, where building trust, it's healthy to set
Speaker 1: rules where don knows I tell him all the things
Speaker 1: that I feel uncomfortable with, I'll write it down and
Speaker 1: the things that would made me feel comfortable if you
Speaker 1: did this same thing vice versa, and you just make
Speaker 1: sure even because no one can read minds, so it's
Speaker 1: good to actually write it down and show that person
Speaker 1: and say, listen, this is not what I feel comfortable
Speaker 1: with I don't feel comfortable with that, and then you
Speaker 1: just check it off the list and just be communicating
Speaker 1: all the time. You have to communicate. I feel like
Speaker 1: that's the number one thing, and just be considered to
Speaker 1: the other person's feelings and just build that trust because
Speaker 1: it's it's it's not impossible, but it is possible to
Speaker 1: build the trust back. And another thing that we shared
Speaker 1: was that, you know, my dad, of course he loves Don,
Speaker 1: but he had like a whole hard, hard talk with me.
Speaker 1: I had to hard talk with my with Don talking
Speaker 1: about his history because my dad they've been together. My
Speaker 1: mom and my dad have been together for like forty
Speaker 1: five years, and so they know what what love is.
Speaker 1: I feel like they've given me the best example. I
Speaker 1: grew up with them together, you know, opposite from Don.
Speaker 1: Don had, you know, his parents work together, so it's
Speaker 1: a whole different story on his end. And my dad
Speaker 1: was telling me, you know, I cheated on your mom
Speaker 1: when I was in my room and you never knew that. Well,
Speaker 1: he did tell me that before, but I didn't think
Speaker 1: anything of it. I was like, I don't know, I
Speaker 1: don't know how he did A mom I could not
Speaker 1: do it, and I was the one that was like,
Speaker 1: once you tell me, it's a wrap over, and it's
Speaker 1: different when you're actually in the situation. Yeah, because it's
Speaker 1: got a lot of people that past jasmine, right, because
Speaker 1: even because your relationship was so public, then when you
Speaker 1: get back together, people a way in and they're like, oh,
Speaker 1: it depends on the circumstances. That depends on the person.
Speaker 1: It depends on the timing. Because we didn't speak for
Speaker 1: six months, we were completely over. But well back to
Speaker 1: my dad. My dad was explaining to me, said, listen,
Speaker 1: you know when I cheated on your mom, I was stupid.
Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking your mom. So she was a workaholic.
Speaker 1: She she was a nurse at the time, and he
Speaker 1: was bored and he was taking care of the kids
Speaker 1: and he ended up cheating my mom. My mom found out.
Speaker 1: But he said, just because I cheated on her does
Speaker 1: not mean I don't love her. I just wasn't on
Speaker 1: my right mindset. I knew I didn't want anything else
Speaker 1: more than just that one moment, but I want to
Speaker 1: be with your mom. But I was careless. And he said,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying to get back with don but I'm
Speaker 1: letting you know that forgiveness and healing and time, and
Speaker 1: people can truly change if they want. People were born
Speaker 1: to evolve if they want to. People can grow and
Speaker 1: develop new habits and break off the old habits and change.
Speaker 1: And I do believe in change. I don't believe people
Speaker 1: were meant to stay the same. You know, we're not
Speaker 1: the same thing we were last year. I believe that
Speaker 1: people can truly change an elevated to become a better person.
Speaker 1: But here's a lip service question for you guys. Right, So,
Speaker 1: when you guys finally did get back together. I saw
Speaker 1: he came to the house, you know, and it was
Speaker 1: by accident that he saw you. I'm sure you are
Speaker 1: looking cute in the kitchen or whatever. Right, So, whoever,
Speaker 1: wasn't like when you guys finally had sex again for
Speaker 1: the first time because it had been so long, you know,
Speaker 1: you were so used to each other and like you said,
Speaker 1: the sex life was amazing. So what was that like?
Speaker 1: Was it emotional? Did you cry? Did you keep thinking
Speaker 1: about you know, like what happened? Boy? Stop? But that
Speaker 1: really when it was like it was like, I mean,
Speaker 1: it was passionate. I mean I feel like it's always
Speaker 1: just I wasn't emotional. I was just first I was like,
Speaker 1: it's just really right because you know that one word
Speaker 1: I heard, And then I like, right now, I don't know,
Speaker 1: but it was I mean, our connection to me, it
Speaker 1: was like actor felt like I won the NBA Champion
Speaker 1: he saw flash before. It was like, I'm back, like
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know, but you're sleeping with
Speaker 1: other women in between the time that y'all broke up. No,
Speaker 1: I actually I was reading, Uh. I had read Devon's
Speaker 1: book Um Devonna Megan's book The Way, and so I
Speaker 1: was like, actually, like I had shifted in my mindset.
Speaker 1: I was about to like I was working on abstinence.
Speaker 1: Like it was crazy. I did like a whole three
Speaker 1: Like I went from like like I used to watch
Speaker 1: pornography like I used to like I had like me,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, and so like when this happened,
Speaker 1: like I cut, I stopped watching pornography, like I stopped
Speaker 1: drinking liquor, like I tried to shift my whole minds,
Speaker 1: like I started reading, like like at least like a
Speaker 1: few hours a day, I was reading books. I was
Speaker 1: talking to de von von Franklin kind of on the
Speaker 1: regular and so I had read his books, so I
Speaker 1: was like practicing abstinence at the time. So like when
Speaker 1: it happened, I was like, I was like, a damn,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be twenty seconds. But was it quick? Was
Speaker 1: it really bad? We're not asking you answer it. It
Speaker 1: wasn't quick, but it was just not long, really, And
Speaker 1: and I know he had to um probably do a
Speaker 1: whole lot of four play and everything right first, because
Speaker 1: just pissing up happened because I actually I wasn't seeing
Speaker 1: anybody else. I felt like, honestly, this is when the
Speaker 1: COVID was happening. And it was like the worst time
Speaker 1: because I was ready to travel with my girls and
Speaker 1: just be out and COVID happened, everything shut down. I
Speaker 1: was like, lower, please let the whole world shut down
Speaker 1: so she can't so you cause you cause this if
Speaker 1: I got to be in the house without her, like
Speaker 1: make sure she's in the house. And then also happened.
Speaker 1: I was it was the worst timing because you know,
Speaker 1: once you break up, you want to just go out
Speaker 1: with your friends and just you know, travel or just
Speaker 1: not be at home. And I had to sit with
Speaker 1: my feelings. It was just honestly the craziest timing. And
Speaker 1: I didn't want to go and date because I feel
Speaker 1: like everyone of COVID, I was just if you cheated.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I don't want to be wrong.
Speaker 1: I felt like the reason why I didn't ask you
Speaker 1: if you slept with somebody in between the time is
Speaker 1: because I didn't think you would. And I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: honest with you. I think you can tell me I'm wrong,
Speaker 1: and I know you're gonna say I'm wrong. But I
Speaker 1: kind of think you had in the back room. I yea,
Speaker 1: I might get back together, and you just wanted him
Speaker 1: to do right. Oh no, No, I hated you did
Speaker 1: you really hated him for him at him? After that point,
Speaker 1: I was so fed up and we're about to get intried.
Speaker 1: It was completely over. You could even a stone or
Speaker 1: my parents, they was completely sure he got sick. I
Speaker 1: didn't care. I was so mad. I was so I
Speaker 1: was so mad, and I didn't care. I was already
Speaker 1: I had the COVID. She didn't give it down. You
Speaker 1: got COVID real bad. No. I was like, it was
Speaker 1: like I had like a fever for the night and
Speaker 1: then the next day. But either wait, I call their parents,
Speaker 1: and I think it's how I was so mad that
Speaker 1: my parents were still friends with him, and I'm not
Speaker 1: going to take that away from him and my parents.
Speaker 1: So I said, whatever you guys have plan, just keep
Speaker 1: it away from me. If he tries to come over
Speaker 1: here for any any reason, I'm not going to be home.
Speaker 1: So the only reason why he came by was when
Speaker 1: our dog was sick and he was communicating with my
Speaker 1: sister about it because, um, my sister was telling you, oh,
Speaker 1: biggs be sick and we have to take him to
Speaker 1: the vet. And he volunteered to take Biggsby to the vet.
Speaker 1: So I knew that he was going to come. So
Speaker 1: the first few visits when he came, I wasn't there.
Speaker 1: So when the last time he came to drop Biggsby off,
Speaker 1: I was there in the kitchen and that's when I
Speaker 1: saw him. And it's like such a weird feeling because
Speaker 1: after five six months and you see someone again, it's
Speaker 1: like that feeling in your heart where your heart drops
Speaker 1: and you're just like a little heart attack. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: was like, I became a mechanic now. You used to
Speaker 1: try to meet sweet through that time, and I told
Speaker 1: him I said, don't leave any gifts or anything. I
Speaker 1: threw everything away. Wow, you know you have a lot
Speaker 1: of willpower, because you know how difficult that is, especially
Speaker 1: during a pandemic when you're not meeting anybody new, you're
Speaker 1: not able to go outside and go anywhere. Like, how
Speaker 1: were you able to do that? Because I'm sure there
Speaker 1: were times that you felt weak. I have amazing friends.
Speaker 1: I am so grateful for my girls because we stay,
Speaker 1: you know together, Like through that time, I only had
Speaker 1: my friends and my family, and sometimes I really was
Speaker 1: by myself, and I just really wanted to fight that
Speaker 1: feeling because what am I fighting for? If I get back,
Speaker 1: how am I going to make this situation different? So
Speaker 1: I kept on the back of my mind and I
Speaker 1: really got into manifestation UM journaling, reading, and I started
Speaker 1: doing a lot of YouTube videos of talking about self
Speaker 1: growth and love. So it kind of helped me stay
Speaker 1: hould myself accountable. So I really just dug deep and
Speaker 1: just stayed stay strong through that situation. And then like again,
Speaker 1: when Don started coming around and he's we actually shared
Speaker 1: the same life coach Tony Gaskins, So I love Tony Gaskins.
Speaker 1: So he's been with us since the beginning of our relationship,
Speaker 1: and he started mentoring on the first time when he
Speaker 1: had that situation happened, and the differences from before and
Speaker 1: now before I took him back too soon, it was
Speaker 1: like a week later after that situation had happened. This time,
Speaker 1: I really was over him, and Tony was telling him, like,
Speaker 1: bro leave her alone, Like she completely is over you,
Speaker 1: Like I talked to her, and you just need to
Speaker 1: focus on you. And down the line, Um, Tony calls
Speaker 1: me and he checks on me, and then um, you
Speaker 1: know he was telling me, also, oh, yeah, don't actually
Speaker 1: doing really well. Um, he's writing a book and he's
Speaker 1: been consistent with his courses. Before he didn't finish his courses.
Speaker 1: Now he's actually following up with his classes and finishing everything.
Speaker 1: So I'm like in the back of my mind, that's
Speaker 1: when I was like, Okay, well I'm happy for him,
Speaker 1: good for him. And I just didn't think, oh, now
Speaker 1: I want to get back with him. It was more like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm glad he's choosing that route. Then to just be
Speaker 1: in the in the beginning, and in the beginning, it
Speaker 1: was when I was working with Tony and I messed up.
Speaker 1: It was a desperation to get her back and to
Speaker 1: like what I had to do to get her back.
Speaker 1: This time around, I think I have matured and it
Speaker 1: was more of I need to do what I need
Speaker 1: to do to get my life right and figure out
Speaker 1: where I really want my future to go. And by
Speaker 1: doing that, I pray that it brings us back together.
Speaker 1: And so I was really working with Tony this time around,
Speaker 1: just to really learn from Tony and what because he
Speaker 1: had gone He's gone through some crazy stuff in his life,
Speaker 1: you know, and and before I was just like, man,
Speaker 1: teach me, show me how I can get my girl back.
Speaker 1: You know what here for the first year now it's
Speaker 1: like four years in something was like, man, I really
Speaker 1: want Yeah. So but Tony, Tony is amazing. He's been
Speaker 1: such a big Tony is amazing. Dan, You've learned a
Speaker 1: lot about yourself. Clearly during that time you wrote your book,
Speaker 1: right My Truth. So what do you think about you know,
Speaker 1: your parents and even your grand parents and how that's
Speaker 1: affected you and how you deal with relationships. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think it's heavily influenced my life. You know, my
Speaker 1: my grandparents separated, My my grandmother was addicted to crack cocaine.
Speaker 1: My father was addicted to crack um, his father was
Speaker 1: addicted to heroin. Um. There was, like I think I
Speaker 1: witnessed so much unhealthy relationships in my life. I never
Speaker 1: really knew how to carry a relationship the right way.
Speaker 1: I never really had that so called couple to look
Speaker 1: up to, like how her parents together. My mother was
Speaker 1: in and out of abusive relationships, and so, like I said,
Speaker 1: I didn't try to make an excuse for it, but
Speaker 1: it's real, Like when you see these patterns, you don't
Speaker 1: really know that it carries on in your life. And
Speaker 1: so for me, I had to go back and like
Speaker 1: backtrack and be like, Okay, what was my father doing that?
Speaker 1: Like him and his father were constantly making excuses for
Speaker 1: their wrong doings, but they were never fixing it. You know.
Speaker 1: It'd be like, oh, I got high this weekend, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna do it no more. And then by the
Speaker 1: next weekend, I don't hear from him, and he's getting
Speaker 1: high again. And for me with women or if I'm
Speaker 1: out of the club and I don't call you till
Speaker 1: six in the morning, in my mind, it's the same
Speaker 1: thing as my father going and getting high again. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And so I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to. For me, I kind of use those
Speaker 1: It's like I don't want to carry the same patterns
Speaker 1: that has been in my generation year after year after year.
Speaker 1: Um and so as little as those things, like luckily
Speaker 1: I didn't follow that pattern with drugs, but you know,
Speaker 1: it can attack you in different ways, and so for me,
Speaker 1: I was like, what's attacking me? What's stopping me from
Speaker 1: reaching that next level of my life? And so luckily
Speaker 1: the pandemic and me and her breaking up, I was
Speaker 1: able to sit down and focus on myself and kind
Speaker 1: of separate from my friends when all my friends were like, Yo,
Speaker 1: let's go hit the club like you're single again, let's
Speaker 1: go turn up, And I'm like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: do that no more, Like that's not really I don't
Speaker 1: feel that feed in my soul. And I feel like
Speaker 1: I need been different for my life, you know I've been.
Speaker 1: It's weird because like I was going through like a transition,
Speaker 1: like my agency had dropped me, my manager dropped me.
Speaker 1: Like I was like I was low key, like stressed out.
Speaker 1: I had like one little gig that was carrying me
Speaker 1: through and social media was attacking social media like a
Speaker 1: lot of things were everything was weighing on me. I
Speaker 1: was like a point where I was like, yo, everything
Speaker 1: is weighing on me. And I was like, but I didn't.
Speaker 1: I could have liked, I could have went out and
Speaker 1: did some club appearances and made a quick bag, but
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't want. I need something more
Speaker 1: soothing for my soul, and so like, let me sit
Speaker 1: down and figure some write things out. And for me,
Speaker 1: this situation ended up being the biggest blessing for me
Speaker 1: because after I sat down and locked in, like, shoot,
Speaker 1: my blessings blew up times ten. So would you not
Speaker 1: drinking and doing any kind of smoking or anything like
Speaker 1: that right, because both you don't smoke either, I'll smoke
Speaker 1: without doing any drinking anything. Does that like change? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You guys? Sex life like didn't make it better? Or
Speaker 1: does it? Did it change at all? I mean I
Speaker 1: didn't really drink. I wasn't like an alcoholic just an alcoholic,
Speaker 1: but it was it was more so like I drank
Speaker 1: excessively when I was partying, and so it wasn't in moderation.
Speaker 1: It was like overboard drink. I'm gonna go hard, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna turn up like crazy. So for me, I'll let
Speaker 1: me just chill and cut it out. But it didn't
Speaker 1: really like make our sex life better or work affected.
Speaker 1: And she's never drank or smoked ever, so she performed
Speaker 1: with or without this. That's fun. I want to take
Speaker 1: a shot. Listen, we will drink to that for you guys.
Speaker 1: So now are you guys discussing marriage again? Yes, we are.
Speaker 1: We're talking about it. Um, there's some plans but we
Speaker 1: haven't announced anything yet. But we might have to come
Speaker 1: back on here for the start over because it's like, um,
Speaker 1: do you say I'm engaged? I gotta propose. I know
Speaker 1: that's right, right, right, that's right. I'm only personal ring
Speaker 1: on everything. Okay, dream we dream of a wedding. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be a real big every woman deserves their dream wedding,
Speaker 1: especially you know, going through something like this, like you
Speaker 1: only big you know, yeah, yeah, whatever, she says. I've
Speaker 1: been trying to, like three time, like I feel a
Speaker 1: certain way, I try to. I'll sit back an assess
Speaker 1: and be like you know what this is how it's
Speaker 1: gonna go. Like at first, I was like we proposed,
Speaker 1: like what I already got you a nice ring, like,
Speaker 1: but then I was like, you know what, I funked up?
Speaker 1: I want this, what's gonna make you happy? All right?
Speaker 1: I'm willing to do it, you know. And so for me,
Speaker 1: I've just been wanting to challenge myself in every aspect
Speaker 1: as a man, to wear things that I would like move.
Speaker 1: If I feel like I was moving on prior to
Speaker 1: Ego before, then I'm gonna sit myself down and be like,
Speaker 1: you know what, if this is what she wants, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna make her happy and try this for her, you know.
Speaker 1: And at the end of the day, me, if I
Speaker 1: can say that I've given it my all and if
Speaker 1: it still doesn't work or she's like I still can't
Speaker 1: trust you, you know, I'm still broken that situation. As
Speaker 1: long as at the end of the day me as
Speaker 1: a man, I can say that I did everything that
Speaker 1: I could to really change the man that I've become
Speaker 1: and what I'm doing to make you happy as a woman,
Speaker 1: then that's really all I can do, you know. Being
Speaker 1: totally transparent, hat do you bring it up? Do you
Speaker 1: ever bring up the fact that he can bring it
Speaker 1: up sometimes? And it's only when it triggers when certain
Speaker 1: situations happened where um, certain movies, certain movies. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I still get that, like you look at him like
Speaker 1: I know guys like you have to mines And I
Speaker 1: wake up and I'm like, I'm pissed at my dream.
Speaker 1: She wakes up like qushing. But but as a man,
Speaker 1: you have to be patient and understand that, right because
Speaker 1: you grow up the trust, so now you have to
Speaker 1: build that back up. And there's gonna be times when
Speaker 1: she might ask you some questions she's asked you before.
Speaker 1: She might bring it up again. But I think also
Speaker 1: as a woman, if you forgive somebody, right and you
Speaker 1: want to move on, you have to work on that
Speaker 1: yourself too. Right. I do love though about our situation.
Speaker 1: There's so much growth And I didn't think that i'd
Speaker 1: ever get back with someone that ever cheated on me.
Speaker 1: And once I feel like, once trust is broken is
Speaker 1: completely broken. You can't fix it. But going through this
Speaker 1: process with down and having a counselor and really forgiving
Speaker 1: someone and seeing the growth and change um and Don
Speaker 1: and him like quitting drinking and him not going out
Speaker 1: his new fun things to do with golf and like
Speaker 1: spend time with the family and like, you know, things
Speaker 1: that I feel that I can be involved in and
Speaker 1: feel comfortable him doing and not being in temptation where
Speaker 1: he's not going to the clubs, he's not hosting clubs,
Speaker 1: he's not around random girls. Like it's very like clean.
Speaker 1: But let's say he does have to go out right
Speaker 1: for whatever reason, it's a friend's birthday or whatever, would
Speaker 1: you be comfortable he invites me. So he invites me,
Speaker 1: He involves me, and he gives me the option to
Speaker 1: come or not. And when he does, he's been communicating
Speaker 1: with me like who's They're like, hey, just saw you
Speaker 1: know ball blas here like but for the most part
Speaker 1: we've been together, I've been like a little like a
Speaker 1: triple my guys, the Palm Springs, you know, it was
Speaker 1: golfing at the casino. But things that I wouldn't do before,
Speaker 1: for example, like if we're out and there's some girls,
Speaker 1: like my boy's got some girls around, Like I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna be like, I'm not gonna worry about him just there,
Speaker 1: but now I'm gonna call her and let her know, like, yo,
Speaker 1: just let me know. You know. The thing is to
Speaker 1: find out from someone else. Yeah, because that's what I learned,
Speaker 1: like because somebody coulds like you know, we're out, people
Speaker 1: could take a video or something and then tackture make
Speaker 1: it look like something more than what if something is not.
Speaker 1: So now I just I've learned how to handle myself
Speaker 1: in situations better to make her comfortable as to where
Speaker 1: before it's like I'm gonna do what I want to do,
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna maneuver how I want to maneuver, and
Speaker 1: that's what it is. But now it's like, let me
Speaker 1: do things to where I'm building her trust the right
Speaker 1: way where it's like, yo, there's some girls around just
Speaker 1: letting you know so you don't have to hear nothing
Speaker 1: from nobody, but this is what it is. I'll keep
Speaker 1: you and you know, saying in touch, like I tried
Speaker 1: to maneuvering ways to where she doesn't have to worry
Speaker 1: about it no more. And a lot of people ask
Speaker 1: me like how can you trust somebody after they've broken
Speaker 1: your trust like that? And just gradually growing like how
Speaker 1: do you transition from being the paranoid girlfriend and wondering
Speaker 1: and questioning to being more of you know, like you said,
Speaker 1: not going crazy and not bringing it up all the
Speaker 1: time I think it. It happens through time, and it
Speaker 1: happens through communication. Because in the beginning when we started
Speaker 1: seeing each other again, you know, I was bringing it up.
Speaker 1: I was letting him know how much I was heard.
Speaker 1: There are times I would just start crying because it
Speaker 1: would just hurt me and I would get triggered, and
Speaker 1: through time it will just go away. But I feel
Speaker 1: that it's good to really focus on, you know, not
Speaker 1: bringing it up all the time, because you don't want
Speaker 1: to always throw it in their face. I don't you know,
Speaker 1: you're not going to go from that if you consistently
Speaker 1: keep throwing it in their face. She's good, she's good
Speaker 1: about not bringing it up too often, and if and
Speaker 1: if it does get brought up, we're good about like
Speaker 1: working through it. It doesn't blow up into wherever? Right now?
Speaker 1: Where's the girl friend? No more? Yeah? Do you have
Speaker 1: you guys spoken at all? Block? And you don't see her?
Speaker 1: How like y'all don't see her? How nah? Did you
Speaker 1: ever see Chris Rock especially where he's like when he teated,
Speaker 1: He's like, did you make a left with that bitch?
Speaker 1: And he did a car with his wife and make
Speaker 1: a left turn and he did, right, And that's exactly
Speaker 1: how it is. That yeah, how it is. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: show is lip service and we do get a little
Speaker 1: nasty sometimes, so I gotta ask you this, right, So,
Speaker 1: being that you fucked up but you're in that, do
Speaker 1: you ever just say you just lay down, let me
Speaker 1: please you. I'm just gonna go down on you. You
Speaker 1: ain't even got to do nothing for me. I just
Speaker 1: want to do everything for you, me to her. Yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah of course. And Leanne, have you ever been okay
Speaker 1: with just that and been like I know, I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna lay here and just accept all this and you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah in my head, man misses up where you know
Speaker 1: it's crazy. It's like it's crazy because like after I
Speaker 1: read the weight and I started like that whole six
Speaker 1: months and not having sex and just like being in
Speaker 1: that moment like like I'm now like cool with like
Speaker 1: you know, if it's a week or so, if I
Speaker 1: just got to please her, like I'm more on my
Speaker 1: mindset is different where I'm cool with that now, Like
Speaker 1: of course I still want it, but it's like more
Speaker 1: you gain that self control as a man like you,
Speaker 1: You now gain that control because it's a man like
Speaker 1: the section that set shool Dog and us is like
Speaker 1: it's fierce, you know what I'm saying. So once you
Speaker 1: gain control of that element, it's like I could I
Speaker 1: want it? Yeah, I still like I look at her
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I want it. But I can be
Speaker 1: cool with it and be like, let me just please
Speaker 1: you and make you happy. You know, I feel like
Speaker 1: it's about to go down after this. Well, listen, I
Speaker 1: do want to thank you guys for being so open
Speaker 1: about everything, because I'm gonna be honest. Like one of
Speaker 1: the main things that people always talk to us about is,
Speaker 1: you know, guys and girls to sometimes mess up and
Speaker 1: want to figure out how do they repair a relationship?
Speaker 1: And you know, do you think it helped me in that?
Speaker 1: All throughout? Even though you know you told him, don't
Speaker 1: pop up or I'll call the police, but he still
Speaker 1: was trying to get you know, still sending things, still
Speaker 1: making sure that you knew that he still cared and
Speaker 1: doing things like that. Or do you think it's better
Speaker 1: to just leave somebody completely alone like you said you
Speaker 1: wanted you know, for me, I wanted him to leave
Speaker 1: me completely alone because there's there comes a point where
Speaker 1: a woman is fed up and they're like, I don't
Speaker 1: care what you do. I don't want anything that has
Speaker 1: to do with you or connected to you. So I
Speaker 1: think that if a woman really is there has to
Speaker 1: be a situation where you know if you should fight
Speaker 1: for it or you should let go. And I think
Speaker 1: this point, at this point, it was time to let go.
Speaker 1: And and and it's because I felt that I did all
Speaker 1: I could and everything that he needed to do was
Speaker 1: within himself. Until he comes and he's completely in a person.
Speaker 1: I feel that that's when I can actually allow his
Speaker 1: presence to be around me because I was just really
Speaker 1: protecting my energy. At that point, I was just over
Speaker 1: it completely. But I think that it's it was nice
Speaker 1: like after like that time that I was able to
Speaker 1: be by myself and Donald started doing those thoughtful things,
Speaker 1: that's when I was open to it because I was
Speaker 1: healing and I was also at piece of myself. I
Speaker 1: think it just depends on a woman. If a woman,
Speaker 1: you can tell when a woman wants you to fight
Speaker 1: for them, Yeah, because sometimes you say let me alone
Speaker 1: and you don't really and then he leaves you alone
Speaker 1: and you're like, yeah, we don't care. That's a struggle
Speaker 1: that we can because when I was in and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm supposed to be doing nice
Speaker 1: things or if I'm really supposed to leave you alone.
Speaker 1: And so we really, as men, we don't know. It's
Speaker 1: like you tell us leave me alone, but then if
Speaker 1: we leave you alone, and it's like, what, you didn't
Speaker 1: even fight for me? And then and then it's like,
Speaker 1: if we're fighting for you, it's like, leave me alone.
Speaker 1: Because when I was talking like, I would talk to
Speaker 1: her friends because we're all in the same circle. So
Speaker 1: like when we broke up, I would still be talking
Speaker 1: to friends and I'd be like, what am I supposed
Speaker 1: to be fighting for or not? And they're like, we'll
Speaker 1: fight for her, but do it at a distance and
Speaker 1: don't talk Like what then does that mean? How does
Speaker 1: this mean? I'm profused? Look at her, but not with
Speaker 1: your eyes. That's the most tricky thing for guys. So yeah,
Speaker 1: y'all need to let us know the girl. Yeah, and Louis,
Speaker 1: but don't buy me no snacks and don't pull up
Speaker 1: arrangements then bags and you're And for the guys, I
Speaker 1: guess they would have to read your book to figure
Speaker 1: out how to you know, change theirselves or to know
Speaker 1: when that woman is worth it for them, because are
Speaker 1: they really changing for themselves? Are they changing for the woman?
Speaker 1: I think it's of course that's something like you want
Speaker 1: the woman, but it's ultimately something and that woman that
Speaker 1: brings out what you want to change in yourself. If
Speaker 1: that makes sense, I guess, um, because it's like there's
Speaker 1: I mean, I've been in relationships and I've never like
Speaker 1: I've always at the end of the relationship, I'm like, man,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do me like she's losing out, like it
Speaker 1: is what it is, you know. And then from in
Speaker 1: this situation, it's like I need to fix some things
Speaker 1: to myself as a man, like I don't need to
Speaker 1: be maneuvering the same. So yes, I think ultimately it's
Speaker 1: like for the woman, but it's for you, like because
Speaker 1: regardless of if me and Leanne got back together, the
Speaker 1: things that I was doing, it might be it was
Speaker 1: gonna be for whoever's gonna be my wife, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So um, But it usually is that
Speaker 1: when it takes that right woman to bring it out
Speaker 1: of the man, it's always either like a woman or
Speaker 1: money that makes a man really change like either you
Speaker 1: broke lost a woman and your your dreams. It makes
Speaker 1: this want to really change some things around. But that's good.
Speaker 1: It feels like you know yourself a lot better now. Now.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm with somebody that is walking with purpose,
Speaker 1: that is being aware of everything and setting healthy boundaries
Speaker 1: and communicating way better. Like it sucks to say, like
Speaker 1: us when we go through things, but then something's just happened,
Speaker 1: you know, for a reason. I believe that everything happens
Speaker 1: for a reason, and it's either we grow from it
Speaker 1: or we just stay the same. And I think that
Speaker 1: this definitely helped us grow to be a better person,
Speaker 1: you know, individually and also together. But if you felt
Speaker 1: like something was missing a little bit there at some point,
Speaker 1: what made you say yes to him in the first place, Well,
Speaker 1: because it was when he proposed to me. I already
Speaker 1: did see myself spending the rest of my life with him,
Speaker 1: But it was also the pressure I felt like, I
Speaker 1: think this is it. I was just confused also because
Speaker 1: it was more on his end. I know I wanted
Speaker 1: to be with him, I know I was happy with him,
Speaker 1: but I was just unsure and I didn't have the
Speaker 1: full trust that I wanted. But that was also a
Speaker 1: lack of something like am I going to pull it
Speaker 1: together after you're married? And it was just, you know
Speaker 1: this because I didn't trust on you know. I think
Speaker 1: that's where I felt the confusion. But I loved him
Speaker 1: and I would spend the rest of my life with him,
Speaker 1: but he has to act right. But like that was
Speaker 1: the only thing that I was like confused about. Other
Speaker 1: than that, like we're so compatible. We enjoy the same things,
Speaker 1: we believe in the same things. We love family, our
Speaker 1: family loves each other. It was just it's per a
Speaker 1: perfect situation. But the thing is every relationship is not
Speaker 1: gonna be perfect. Every person you get with, there's always
Speaker 1: going to be some kind of challenge. It just depends
Speaker 1: on what battle you want to fight. You gotta choose
Speaker 1: your battles. If this person has an alcoholic addiction or
Speaker 1: a drug addiction, or you know, a weakness and scenarios,
Speaker 1: you have to figure out what those problems are and
Speaker 1: see if you can actually deal with it, because that's
Speaker 1: the battle you're gonna have to fight. So between us,
Speaker 1: it was more of him being too nice to girls
Speaker 1: to where it got confused as being flirtatious. And him
Speaker 1: being too nice to his boys were Okay, I guess
Speaker 1: I'll go out and drink with you guys when he
Speaker 1: knows he shouldn't. But now I feel like this situation
Speaker 1: allowed him to learn to say no. And you have
Speaker 1: to learn the power of the word no. It goes
Speaker 1: a long way. You have to be able to say
Speaker 1: no to things in life. And I feel like he's
Speaker 1: just grown so much and I've seen it and also
Speaker 1: like hearing it from you know, Tony Gaskin, someone that
Speaker 1: I completely trust, you know, talk and he looks out
Speaker 1: for me too, so it's not like he's just on
Speaker 1: dawn side. I feel like he wasn't fighting from me
Speaker 1: when when we leave her alone, what he told me,
Speaker 1: leave her alone, Bro, I'm fighting. I was like, bro,
Speaker 1: just go like, drop some Oh, I'm not fighting for you. Lean.
Speaker 1: Was there anything about yourself you had to change? And
Speaker 1: then we talked a lot about Dan and things he
Speaker 1: had to change, But what about yourself? I think that
Speaker 1: for me, the self love was a big part, because
Speaker 1: when you're getting into a relationship, you get so consumed
Speaker 1: in the other person where you forget to do things
Speaker 1: for yourself, and everything was just all about me and
Speaker 1: Donnie and don but I was also focusing on me,
Speaker 1: but so much more focused on trying to make it work.
Speaker 1: And sometimes we are brains. We think about the potential
Speaker 1: instead of the reality of things of our relationship. But
Speaker 1: I feel that for me, I really wanted to work on,
Speaker 1: you know, self love, and I feel like now I
Speaker 1: feel like I know my worth more, I know what
Speaker 1: I want to settle for, I know what I deserve. Before,
Speaker 1: like I said, when I got was on, I already
Speaker 1: kind of knew the situation I was getting into, but
Speaker 1: I was just I'm single, and we'll see where this goes.
Speaker 1: And then we start wanting more and then hoping that
Speaker 1: it would be this and trying to create something that
Speaker 1: I saw in my head, but it wasn't the reality because,
Speaker 1: you know, don situations like his whole upbringing everything his
Speaker 1: habits was not aligning with mine. That's why I think
Speaker 1: it's so important to come in whole as a person
Speaker 1: and him coming in whole so we can be whold together,
Speaker 1: rather than me being whole on him being half empty
Speaker 1: and I gotta contribute to him. It's exhausting. So I
Speaker 1: feel like I've just grown so much where individually as
Speaker 1: a person to love myself more. And I think that's
Speaker 1: what was lacking. Well good and now he's the best
Speaker 1: selling author and guys back together better than ever. So
Speaker 1: congratulations and a way with all this women, thank you. No,
Speaker 1: I'm a guide and looking about a friend, she's saying
Speaker 1: that we owe the friend that thank you. I mean, honestly,
Speaker 1: you know everything it sucks because everything happens for a reason.
Speaker 1: Everybody's leeing our life for a reason. And as much
Speaker 1: as like we can hate somebody in a situation or
Speaker 1: you know, whatever the case is. Yeah, it's so weird
Speaker 1: because I don't even I don't hate her. It's weird
Speaker 1: when you come from a place of just I forgive you.
Speaker 1: I know you know you're broken when you want to
Speaker 1: send the person is broken. It was just like the
Speaker 1: people that talk bad about you, it's not about you,
Speaker 1: it's about them. There reflect what they are. Thank you
Speaker 1: you made us go harder for us. Thank you didn't work,
Speaker 1: your plan didn't work right with was stronger now. And
Speaker 1: I don't like I think that it's so bad to
Speaker 1: walk with unforgiveness and hate in your heart. I think
Speaker 1: that it's poison. It just makes you a horrible person.
Speaker 1: So when you hate on somebody or talk to about somebody,
Speaker 1: it doesn't make you better, it doesn't. You know, it's
Speaker 1: I feel like it's a toxic thing to do, man.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's how you entertaining that somebody trying to
Speaker 1: steady man. So that's why I think, you know, it's funny.
Speaker 1: I was doing so much research and talking to tell
Speaker 1: you ask us about why men cheat. He has. He
Speaker 1: explained so much about Don's situation where he his upbringing
Speaker 1: really affected his choices today. And also like their insecurities
Speaker 1: and sometimes it just strokes their ego. When women still
Speaker 1: like approach them, they like that it makes them feel
Speaker 1: more of a man so about what they do. Because
Speaker 1: and you feel like, once your dad admitted to you
Speaker 1: that he cheated, that you kind of had a doubt
Speaker 1: in the back of your mind now and may cheat
Speaker 1: because in your idea of a perfect marriage, it would
Speaker 1: have been your parents, right, They've been together forever, you've
Speaker 1: seen them, been totally in love. So do you feel
Speaker 1: like once you found out he cheated, then you kind
Speaker 1: of got something in the back of you had to
Speaker 1: be cautious. So when my dad told me that, I mean,
Speaker 1: it's so funny. When I moved out here, I really
Speaker 1: my mind. I was, well, I'm from Adustal, California, in
Speaker 1: a small city, and I was in a Christian school,
Speaker 1: Like I was such in a bubble. So moving to
Speaker 1: l A was a reality check, Like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: people out here really really cheating and lyning and using
Speaker 1: people and it's just crazy. And because I equal cheating
Speaker 1: to killing, like that's murder to me. So I when
Speaker 1: he cheated on me, it was just so much like
Speaker 1: I can't believe he did it. But when my dad
Speaker 1: told me he did that, um, it just made me
Speaker 1: feel like, man, does every guy cheating now like my
Speaker 1: dad did? Then? Like is this everyone? Is this something
Speaker 1: that we all experience? And at the same time, I
Speaker 1: don't believe that every man does cheat. I feel that, um,
Speaker 1: a lot of people do. It's just about how you
Speaker 1: grow from it. But I felt like it kind of
Speaker 1: gave me some kind of comfort to knowing that I'm
Speaker 1: not the only one that's going through it. And it's
Speaker 1: it's amazing to me though now that I've because all
Speaker 1: of our content has always been happy and family and
Speaker 1: love and now talking about the heartbreak and crying in
Speaker 1: front of camera, not being afraid to be vulnerable to
Speaker 1: my audience. It opened up another hole. There's ask me
Speaker 1: advice and Dawn advice and I love now. I love
Speaker 1: being a part of the conversation helping them. So I
Speaker 1: think that if this is the purpose for us to
Speaker 1: go through this, you know. Yeah, and you have a
Speaker 1: you have a podcast right that just when I make
Speaker 1: sure we plug that. Well, I'm I've just started. I've
Speaker 1: been alive yet, but I'm starting up podcasts and it's
Speaker 1: called Lovers and Friends. So we're talking about love, relationship,
Speaker 1: friendships and just you know, surviving, you know, life experiences
Speaker 1: and the things that I've been through. So don you
Speaker 1: have club Bed club Bed? Yeah, clothing on the market,
Speaker 1: home goods as well. Yeah, there was a real there
Speaker 1: was a real club in New York club Bed and
Speaker 1: the Miami and Miami. Yeah, but yeah, club there's something
Speaker 1: different for you that is a luxury brand. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: all wear a side small. I'm gonna send you guys.
Speaker 1: I'll see you guys all some what was that you
Speaker 1: have stuff for the house, you said, betting we got candles.
Speaker 1: I want to see that stuff. Yeah, we have the
Speaker 1: candles now that betting is in production, so but I'll
Speaker 1: get you guys a bunch of all that stuff for
Speaker 1: smore So, we kind of grass guys, and it was
Speaker 1: really nice to hear this. Like you know, everything is
Speaker 1: not always smooth and not a straight path. So we
Speaker 1: do appreciate you all for being so open and sharing
Speaker 1: everything with us, and we look forward to everything you
Speaker 1: had in the future for sure. Thank you guys, Thank
Speaker 1: you guys. Please get married, don't break up, he said,
Speaker 1: we won't. I can't wait to see the ring, that
Speaker 1: big old ring, and yeah, yeah, yes, I can't wait
Speaker 1: to see it. I'd love to see it. Well, thank
Speaker 1: you so much. It's a lost service. Ly V and Benjamin.
Speaker 1: We appreciate y'all. Thank you for by