1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,200 Speaker 1: What upp it is lip service and you know we 2 00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:04,440 Speaker 1: start every episode with a woman on top, and this 3 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:07,000 Speaker 1: week is really special and very dear to my heart self. 4 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 1: First of all, let's get our little Delian ready. You 5 00:00:10,039 --> 00:00:13,239 Speaker 1: see this and I want to give this week to 6 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:18,680 Speaker 1: Ingrid Best. We all love Ingrid, but she just recently 7 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,240 Speaker 1: got promoted to executive vice president and head of Global 8 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 1: Marketing at Combs Enterprises Spares. That is where from. That's 9 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:28,920 Speaker 1: where y'all get yours to rock from. And let me 10 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: tell you something. I have personally done work with Ingrid. 11 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:33,239 Speaker 1: And when you see this woman in a meeting, right, 12 00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:35,440 Speaker 1: and every time we've been in a meeting, you know 13 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: that business is Sparens. Business is mostly white men. But 14 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:41,240 Speaker 1: when you see Ingrid come in there and command the room. 15 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 1: Another thing that she has made sure she has done 16 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:48,200 Speaker 1: is successfully hire black marketing executives. So she's hired seven 17 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: black marketing executives within her first few months of working. Yes, 18 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 1: so again we want to make sure that we give 19 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:59,320 Speaker 1: this close to miss Ingrid Best. She is super amazing. 20 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,319 Speaker 1: You know they recruit did her she was working at 21 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 1: do say obviously Sean loved homes the reason she was 22 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,479 Speaker 1: and that's why he gave her her position and then 23 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 1: just recently promoted her. She's been doing everything when it 24 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,720 Speaker 1: comes to diversity, when it comes to sales, when it 25 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: comes to marketing. She knows every single aspect of the business. 26 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 1: And I think that's one of the most important things 27 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,399 Speaker 1: that you can do to be successful at what it 28 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: is and no matter what business that you're in. So 29 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:32,320 Speaker 1: this toast to see great. She's the best best fears. 30 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,280 Speaker 1: What up? It's a lip service. I'm Angela, Yee, I'm 31 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 1: s Santiago, I'm Laria, Hey, Leanne, what's up? I'm yes, 32 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:58,240 Speaker 1: and welcome to the show. You guys back together again? Yes, yes, man, Listen, 33 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:01,040 Speaker 1: this is gonna be so enlightening for people today because 34 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 1: you know, a lot of people go through breakups and 35 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,440 Speaker 1: Liam V I know you can share with us, you know, 36 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: just how to effectively break up with somebody, because sometimes 37 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 1: we break up with people and it's not like a 38 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 1: clean break and we end up going back and forth 39 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: and it really drags out. And for you for a dime, Benjamin, 40 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 1: I know you have a lot of advice to us 41 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,519 Speaker 1: and how you actually had to work on yourself so 42 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,519 Speaker 1: that you guys to get back together. And while we've 43 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,920 Speaker 1: seen y'all on YouTube together, you guys have never actually 44 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 1: sat down and done an interview together. Yeah, that's the 45 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:36,080 Speaker 1: first together. That's the first one. Crazy. We're soul to 46 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 1: be here with you guys. I think that this is 47 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:41,360 Speaker 1: gonna be a great competition to share just because we've 48 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 1: talked about on YouTube, you know, briefly, but we want 49 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 1: to be able to continue to just reach out to 50 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,519 Speaker 1: our audience and let people know like we're real people. 51 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:54,040 Speaker 1: People experience, you know, breakups, heartbreak, like all the things 52 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 1: that we go through. It's normal, you know, and we're 53 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,480 Speaker 1: to talk about it and share our experiences. So so 54 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:03,280 Speaker 1: many questions. First off, before we even get into it, 55 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 1: how did y'all even meet and start dating? We met 56 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:09,359 Speaker 1: actually through mutual friends. We were in um we were 57 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 1: also in different relationships, and we just got connected through 58 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,639 Speaker 1: some work. I had just came off of America's Next 59 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:19,200 Speaker 1: Tour Model. She was blowing up on vine and so yeah, 60 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,880 Speaker 1: so some friends connected us and we just started like 61 00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 1: working together. We started shooting videos and and our whole 62 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 1: group of circle of friends was just hanging out and 63 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:32,079 Speaker 1: then um, the relationship actually came like three years, were 64 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 1: friends for three years and then um, and it happened. Yeah, 65 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 1: who's idea was it to start documenting the relationship because 66 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 1: you have so many followers and so many fans, you know, 67 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 1: just because you two are together and we're together before 68 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 1: broke up together, whatever. But you know whose idea was 69 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: it to say, like, let's just jump into this. Well, 70 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,360 Speaker 1: I only documents so much of my life, and I 71 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 1: feel like, you know, people want to who you're doing 72 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 1: and what the relationship is like. And I decided, you know, 73 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 1: we should come up with our own channel and just 74 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 1: share our relationship all the questions that people ask, let's 75 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 1: totally share with the world. And I feel like it's 76 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 1: an organic thing. I don't like to do anything for 77 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 1: us or film anything for us, so I felt like 78 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,680 Speaker 1: it was such a natural thing for us to just 79 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:20,599 Speaker 1: start creating content and just sharing all our experiences together, 80 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 1: travel blogs and you know, challenges and even pranks. I 81 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:27,599 Speaker 1: kind of want overboard on the pranks so much. I'm 82 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 1: doing all these. I definitely stepped into her world. She 83 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,839 Speaker 1: was she was, she was running a social media world. 84 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:34,839 Speaker 1: I stepped into it and kind of just let her 85 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 1: run this show. I don't know you guys. Guys first 86 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:42,800 Speaker 1: started doing like I started noticing you guys on Instagram. 87 00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 1: I really, I'm a fan of you guys, I really, 88 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,239 Speaker 1: But that is a lot of pressure, right when people 89 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: are watching you and watching your relationship and some people 90 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 1: are like relationship goes, but you know, everything is not 91 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: perfect all the time. I think it's so important though, 92 00:04:58,839 --> 00:05:00,920 Speaker 1: for any anybody that wants to go public and a 93 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 1: relationship and do content, make sure your partner is for 94 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 1: sure that they want to be public, because I think 95 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,839 Speaker 1: the issue is we're back then it was more of 96 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:13,160 Speaker 1: me and Donald was just Okay, I'll go with the flow. 97 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,360 Speaker 1: I'm enjoying it. It's you know, for our fans and 98 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 1: an audience, and um, you know, it's great content. I'm 99 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:21,839 Speaker 1: enjoying it. But he wasn't fully wanting to do it 100 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:23,720 Speaker 1: as much as me. So it's so important to make 101 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,480 Speaker 1: sure your other partner wants it just as much as 102 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,680 Speaker 1: you do or is willing to do it, because you 103 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,480 Speaker 1: don't want your other partner to feel obligated because that's 104 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:34,600 Speaker 1: where I can create, and that's the pressure to like, yeah, 105 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,559 Speaker 1: the pressure just like you said, like making it seem 106 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: like everything is all like of course, we're shooting videos 107 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:43,160 Speaker 1: that make people happy, so it's a lot of comedy videos. 108 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:46,159 Speaker 1: But I think what we've learned is trying to find 109 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,840 Speaker 1: that balance to let people know that, yeah, we have 110 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:52,480 Speaker 1: real issues and go on in our relationship too. So yeah, 111 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:56,000 Speaker 1: there's definitely that pressure, you know, because the world, you 112 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,840 Speaker 1: know how it is, like the world expects us to 113 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:00,600 Speaker 1: be perfect and they expect us not to have issues. 114 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,960 Speaker 1: So if they see any little slip up there in 115 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 1: them comments and they're on our head and then we 116 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,160 Speaker 1: got to deal with it. And so yeah, the pressure 117 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,080 Speaker 1: in the spotlight is different when you're a couple in 118 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: spotlight for sure. I feel like when I watched the 119 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:16,480 Speaker 1: video of YouTube explaining that you got back together, I 120 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,760 Speaker 1: feel like, even though you kind of told a lot, 121 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:21,840 Speaker 1: you kind of didn't tell us anything right, you did 122 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 1: a good job at that because I was you was 123 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:29,280 Speaker 1: talking to us for like forty minutes. I was like, okay, why, okay, 124 00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 1: why the job break up? Exactly? So that's that's what 125 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:34,640 Speaker 1: I kind of want to get to, like the the why, 126 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 1: you know, what was the final straw and what did 127 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,080 Speaker 1: you do to get to the point where it was 128 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:42,200 Speaker 1: just like all right, I can't take it no more 129 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,159 Speaker 1: and vice versa. Right, So we came up with a 130 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:49,200 Speaker 1: second video, which was it wasn't the reason why, the 131 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 1: reason why we broke up. Why we did talk about 132 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,359 Speaker 1: like there was infidelity and all of that involved in 133 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 1: the situation, so we can we came clean on that, 134 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 1: and like, I didn't want to be who I didn't. 135 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,520 Speaker 1: We didn't want to just come out and say what happened, 136 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:05,040 Speaker 1: because you know how it is like if you say 137 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,240 Speaker 1: you have to be be very particularly with how you 138 00:07:07,279 --> 00:07:10,400 Speaker 1: say things, because not like as a man, for me, 139 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 1: I didn't want to see like I was making excuses 140 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,480 Speaker 1: with the situation or trying to like be like, well 141 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 1: I did this, but uh, this is why or anything 142 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 1: the reason why I wrote my book and I really 143 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: went in the depth with not only things that I 144 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:28,240 Speaker 1: have been battling in my generational curses and and trying 145 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,120 Speaker 1: to figure out how to move in the industry as 146 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 1: a man, and and all of these things that I learned. 147 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: I wanted to tell the full story to paint the 148 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 1: picture better. So on the video, we didn't want it 149 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,880 Speaker 1: to be like, oh, well don did this and then 150 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,560 Speaker 1: leave it at that. We kind of wanted to tell 151 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 1: the whole story of what I yeah, you know, yeah exactly, 152 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 1: and I admitted my wrong doing, but it was like 153 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 1: the read like I just wanted to, like, you know, 154 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 1: be cautious with how I did it and be able 155 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:59,640 Speaker 1: to let men know, like, look, we mess up, but 156 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,200 Speaker 1: you have the choice to either get back up and 157 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,239 Speaker 1: learn from your mistakes or you know, most men are 158 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 1: are ego and pride come in and we're like, yo, well, 159 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 1: I don't got to explain nothing. I don't I could 160 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 1: do what I you don't like if you can leave, 161 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 1: like all these weird egotistical things coming to plane. I 162 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 1: didn't want it to be that situation. So you know, 163 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 1: it's just great to explain a little bit how it happened. 164 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 1: Because we were together for going to be four years 165 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: and he proposed to me, um two years ago and 166 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 1: write two years ago like three years and it doesn't 167 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:39,280 Speaker 1: count to you. And it's crazy because you you dream 168 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 1: at this moment when someone proposes to you and you're like, okay, 169 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 1: this is a bit like I'm gonna say yes, this 170 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:46,440 Speaker 1: is going to be the person I'm spending the rest 171 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,360 Speaker 1: of my life with. That's how I'm supposed to feel. 172 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 1: I have some confusion, I have some doubts, but I 173 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:56,320 Speaker 1: love him and my family loves him, and everything seems perfect. 174 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:59,720 Speaker 1: But everything that just looks perfect doesn't mean it's perfect within. 175 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 1: So I felt like there were things that, of course 176 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,800 Speaker 1: dating done. When we first met, he got off America's 177 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 1: Next Top Model. He was a good looking, you know, 178 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,600 Speaker 1: bad boy kind of vibe like he was didn't have 179 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,840 Speaker 1: the cleanest reputation, like what from my friends were telling 180 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 1: my girl, he's a player, blah blah blah blah. But 181 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 1: you know, us girls, sometimes when we're not aware of 182 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: our self love and really digging into knowing what's best 183 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,760 Speaker 1: for us and our worth, we tend to settle for less, 184 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:25,839 Speaker 1: like oh I like the challenge, or I can change him. 185 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,720 Speaker 1: And those are the issues that I feel that us 186 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:31,160 Speaker 1: women deal with as we grow and mature and pick 187 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 1: the person that we want to spend the rest of 188 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,200 Speaker 1: our life with. So it wasn't even expected when I 189 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:38,719 Speaker 1: met Don. We're friends and it just slowly gradually grew 190 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 1: grew into a relationship. If our family got real close, 191 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 1: like my mom's best friend is his mom, and my 192 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:46,760 Speaker 1: dad loves Done and looks at him as a son 193 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:49,600 Speaker 1: like everything just seems so great and we're super compatible 194 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:51,920 Speaker 1: and we enjoy the same things in life, and I 195 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:55,120 Speaker 1: feel like, you know, everything is perfect, But there were 196 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:58,680 Speaker 1: things that don is dealing with personally that I wasn't 197 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:02,480 Speaker 1: aware of. And there's also expectations on my end. As women, 198 00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 1: we want to we want to be loved this way 199 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,400 Speaker 1: when we want to be treated this way, and it's 200 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:10,479 Speaker 1: just it's really tough when you just kind of endlessly 201 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,000 Speaker 1: date or get to know someone. You want to make 202 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: sure that you're checking the boxes that you know that, okay, 203 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:19,400 Speaker 1: this person has the same values, the religion, Like there's 204 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,520 Speaker 1: so many little aspects that you have to pay attention 205 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 1: to through our relationship, you know. Once he proposed to me, 206 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,560 Speaker 1: I you know, I do see myself spending the rest 207 00:10:27,559 --> 00:10:29,800 Speaker 1: of my life with him, But there were questions of 208 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 1: his loyalty, like there are things that he did in 209 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,319 Speaker 1: the past that broke my trust. And it's like that 210 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:38,680 Speaker 1: weird transition, you know, getting women are men have to 211 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 1: you know, for me, I was, I came off of 212 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:44,640 Speaker 1: the phase of from America's Next Top Model all the 213 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:48,480 Speaker 1: way up until you know, two nineteen, that was six years. 214 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,240 Speaker 1: But I was kind of cut stuck in this route 215 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,440 Speaker 1: of not really doing things the right way, you know, 216 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 1: and and I had to break these things. And there 217 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:00,840 Speaker 1: was flirtatious. It wasn't like this situation that came up. 218 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,200 Speaker 1: We didn't really talk about it. You can talk about it, 219 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 1: but there was like you can talk about it. Talk 220 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 1: about it. In my book, I talked about how there 221 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,920 Speaker 1: was like a girl that was a friend and and 222 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 1: there was like some conversations that were being had about 223 00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:17,199 Speaker 1: hooking up before I become a married man and stuff. 224 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,160 Speaker 1: And I knew the girl too, and so it was 225 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 1: it was I thought that that girl was a safe girl, 226 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 1: like that was his friend. And I met first. I 227 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: met her as Don's friend, and it wasn't like my 228 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,959 Speaker 1: it's a different one. It's my girls, but it's someone 229 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,920 Speaker 1: because he doesn't have a lot of homegirls. So when 230 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,720 Speaker 1: he has a one particular friend or two whatever, I 231 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 1: usually need them. I haven't met her, and he made 232 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:41,640 Speaker 1: it a point for us to me at one point, 233 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, so she seems really nice, but 234 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:45,760 Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep my eye on her. I just don't 235 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:53,480 Speaker 1: know I got on. He was right, it's always you 236 00:11:53,679 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 1: attation because you know, it's it's weird because you like 237 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,920 Speaker 1: our mind was a crazy thing, Like you have to 238 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:05,040 Speaker 1: really be in control your mind as a man, Like 239 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 1: I was in a phase where I was, you know, 240 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,480 Speaker 1: I wasn't doing as much work, so I was bored. 241 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,000 Speaker 1: My mind was kind of running weary. I'm about to 242 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 1: get married, so I was in my head like, damn 243 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,640 Speaker 1: about to be with this one woman. There was a 244 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 1: lot of things that you have to tell me. And 245 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 1: now you have to really be in the right mindset 246 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,320 Speaker 1: if you're really going to commit to a relationship and 247 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:26,280 Speaker 1: commit to one woman. Because as men, especially in the industry, 248 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,040 Speaker 1: or if you're attractive, like you have all these things 249 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,160 Speaker 1: that you think it's okay for a man, Like a 250 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,240 Speaker 1: lot of men they're like, oh well, as long as 251 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 1: you don't get caught, or as long as you do 252 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,520 Speaker 1: it every once in a while, or it's just talk, 253 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:40,880 Speaker 1: or there's so many excuses that men will make for 254 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 1: these things that as I had to reshift my mindset 255 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 1: and realized, like none of this stuff is cool that 256 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:49,400 Speaker 1: so many women have to deal with on a daily basis, 257 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 1: with men being funk boys and blas blah, and so 258 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:57,080 Speaker 1: you know, with this situation, like I totally in like 259 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 1: as much as like in the moment when it happened, 260 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:02,559 Speaker 1: it was like a gift for me because it kind 261 00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 1: of was like an awaken and where it's like, yo, 262 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:07,680 Speaker 1: I don't like my father wasn't with my mother, and 263 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,760 Speaker 1: I was like in this path, was like I don't 264 00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:12,640 Speaker 1: want to move in the same steps that my father 265 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:14,439 Speaker 1: was moving in. There's so many men that I've seen 266 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,720 Speaker 1: around me moving in, but yet I'm out here, I'm cheating, 267 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,600 Speaker 1: I'm doing this reckless ship to LeAnn, who has never 268 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,920 Speaker 1: done nothing but being an amazing woman. It's so hard 269 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: to come by, and so for me when it happened, 270 00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:28,560 Speaker 1: it was like it needed to happen. And again it 271 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 1: was weird because, like I said, I don't want to 272 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,200 Speaker 1: I wasn't trying to make an excuse, but it's like 273 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 1: it sucks that sometimes these things have to happen and 274 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:37,720 Speaker 1: the right person is gonna wake up at the right time. 275 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:40,720 Speaker 1: Like some men, they will go through that experience and 276 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:42,600 Speaker 1: they won't really learn from it. They'll be like, well, 277 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,760 Speaker 1: I lost my woman. I'm gonna go and and go 278 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,920 Speaker 1: to the club boys and we're gonna turn up and 279 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 1: I'm gonna find the next girl. Yeah. But for me, 280 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:54,120 Speaker 1: it was like, Okay, let me learn from this situation. 281 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,280 Speaker 1: Sit down, figure out why I did this to her? 282 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,000 Speaker 1: Why did I feel like it was cool to have 283 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,319 Speaker 1: this conversation who was around me that that I really 284 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,720 Speaker 1: have influenced me to do the right things? And so 285 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,240 Speaker 1: I took this situation. I was like, let me step 286 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,079 Speaker 1: back from my circle, let me put myself around the 287 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 1: talk to people like Davon Franklin, like passers to Terray, 288 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,920 Speaker 1: you know, like go find people that I'm not usually 289 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:20,200 Speaker 1: watching videos of or talking to and learn and see 290 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:22,840 Speaker 1: what they did. Like how are you in this happy marriage? 291 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: How did you overcome the temptations of women in this industry? 292 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:28,320 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. And like in the midst 293 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 1: of it at first, like I was blowing her up, 294 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:34,040 Speaker 1: like yo, like let's make this work, Like I'm sorry 295 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,640 Speaker 1: after that moment when we broke up, like I told 296 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,760 Speaker 1: he was out of town actually, and I FaceTime him 297 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,440 Speaker 1: and I'm like, when you come back, all your stuff 298 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,600 Speaker 1: is packed, you're leaving, you're out. Well yeah, well yeah, 299 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 1: back up, So tell us what you say that made 300 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:54,800 Speaker 1: you while people away be like so so we've all 301 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:57,200 Speaker 1: been guilty, Like all the girls have been guilty. When 302 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,400 Speaker 1: you get that intuition where you want to go through 303 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:03,920 Speaker 1: their phone or go through something and like your anxieties 304 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 1: like oh my god, I want to go through something 305 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:09,680 Speaker 1: I had to do and then but it wasn't a phone, 306 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:14,800 Speaker 1: so he had an Apple And it's funny because differences 307 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 1: the same thing, and like I had a feeling that 308 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:24,440 Speaker 1: when he left town, I checked his Apple Watch and 309 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:26,760 Speaker 1: I saw a conversation from that girl that And it's 310 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,440 Speaker 1: funny because I only looked at her text message because 311 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:32,160 Speaker 1: you knew that what she was looking I want and 312 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:35,560 Speaker 1: I know what. I've seen it before. And Don's very 313 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,160 Speaker 1: open with like he'll I know his passwords and everything. 314 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:40,160 Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean anything because people can delete things, 315 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:43,760 Speaker 1: you know. And I went through his Apple Watch and 316 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:46,640 Speaker 1: I've seen a conversation and it was pretty much what 317 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 1: he said. How she actually was entertaining, like oh my god, 318 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:53,040 Speaker 1: I'm so excited for guys to get married, like what 319 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,440 Speaker 1: are you gonna do? Like like how are you gonna 320 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 1: You're gonna do a bachelor party? Blah blah blah, and 321 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,720 Speaker 1: talking about I can plan on your whole bachelor party, 322 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,640 Speaker 1: you're gonna be to dance fast. And then I listen 323 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 1: they went down memory lane and I just found out 324 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:09,920 Speaker 1: that they hooked up a long time ago. Okay, So 325 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 1: I was just like, you know what this is, it's over. 326 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 1: And I my girls were there at the moment. They 327 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 1: were asleep and I woke them up, and I'm just like, 328 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 1: it's over. I'm breaking up with them. It's real, like 329 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 1: it's over, and like they helped me pack all his 330 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 1: stuff and how was it. I facetimed him and I 331 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:29,880 Speaker 1: called him and he was just shocked. He shook like 332 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:31,680 Speaker 1: he did not even know what I was talking about, 333 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,200 Speaker 1: because I'm sure he thought that he deleted the messages. 334 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,480 Speaker 1: But the apple watch pretty much collects all the conversations 335 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,480 Speaker 1: that you help on your phone. So I went through 336 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:43,040 Speaker 1: his apple Watch. I saw everything. And then he came 337 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:45,640 Speaker 1: back and you know, we split up, and he just 338 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:48,360 Speaker 1: like begged just to have one last conversation with the family, 339 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,880 Speaker 1: because honestly, the breakup wasn't just between me and Dawn. 340 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:56,600 Speaker 1: It was between our two and parents, like our mother's 341 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,120 Speaker 1: are best friends, so it was like a whole family breakup. 342 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:03,160 Speaker 1: So I let him have like the whole conclusion of everything, like, hey, 343 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,959 Speaker 1: this is what happened, and you know we're breaking up. 344 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,520 Speaker 1: Did his mom's had to convince you to stay with him? 345 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:12,400 Speaker 1: My mom went? My mom honestly the point went crazier 346 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:18,320 Speaker 1: than me, Like she was, she was, she was, Oh 347 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,879 Speaker 1: my god. It was really bad because it just felt 348 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:24,480 Speaker 1: like the longest breakup ever. Usually when you're having a 349 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,600 Speaker 1: breakup is just between you and that person, but it 350 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:29,520 Speaker 1: felt like everyone was going through a breakup. My mom 351 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 1: was so heartbroken. My dad was really disappointed. And it's 352 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,960 Speaker 1: just tough because when you're so used to a routine 353 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:40,680 Speaker 1: of like having someone around and having your friends, like, 354 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,960 Speaker 1: you know, help with the wedding and all this stuff. 355 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,399 Speaker 1: It's like you were planning for a wedding and all 356 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:48,560 Speaker 1: of a sudden it's completely over. And one thing I've learned, 357 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 1: like just overall, for women that go through this, it's 358 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,960 Speaker 1: not your fault. I don't know because I was questioning 359 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,920 Speaker 1: me at one point, and I was doing so much 360 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,359 Speaker 1: research like why did men cheat? Did I not do 361 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:02,200 Speaker 1: something my drawing? At some point like what is wrong 362 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 1: with me? Me? Me? It's not even about you. A 363 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,560 Speaker 1: woman will never be good enough for a man that's 364 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:10,200 Speaker 1: not ready and understanding that, you know, I felt more 365 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,280 Speaker 1: at peace with myself and knowing that this is Dawn's 366 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:16,720 Speaker 1: problem and cutting him off completely. So we just completely 367 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:18,560 Speaker 1: part of ways. I told him, if you ever try 368 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:19,840 Speaker 1: to sneak up and pop up at the house and 369 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 1: clone cops like, don't care, come over. Wait a minute, 370 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:30,600 Speaker 1: was this the first time you cheated or got intuition 371 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,320 Speaker 1: that he did cheat? No, so there have been an 372 00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:38,160 Speaker 1: issue like early in our relationship, like the first year, 373 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,920 Speaker 1: and then um, there was like certain situations where she 374 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,240 Speaker 1: would be worried where again I was on the road, 375 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:47,000 Speaker 1: I was hosting clubs, I'll be out all night, and 376 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,080 Speaker 1: so there was a lot of just recklessness that was 377 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:51,560 Speaker 1: that was happening that wasn't given her the confidence to 378 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,640 Speaker 1: be like, yo, he's out here actually doing the right thing, 379 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,439 Speaker 1: you know. So I like, that's why I said, as 380 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:59,920 Speaker 1: a man like I didn't I have all the reason 381 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,600 Speaker 1: and for her to wake up and be like, look, 382 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 1: you haven't been the right man always, regardless of how 383 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,360 Speaker 1: much we love each other, how happy we are when 384 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,399 Speaker 1: we are together, like I was still doing dumb stuff 385 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:14,520 Speaker 1: that wasn't really really securing her and so when this 386 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,600 Speaker 1: situation happened, that's why it was like it was the 387 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:21,240 Speaker 1: last straw, because it's like over the past few years, like, yeah, 388 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,240 Speaker 1: you haven't done the craziest things, but for a woman, 389 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:27,760 Speaker 1: like one small thing like this is like it's not cool, 390 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,320 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And we don't really think 391 00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:33,600 Speaker 1: like that a lot of times, and and in this situation, 392 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,760 Speaker 1: I was That's why I was like, man like, like why, 393 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,640 Speaker 1: like why I don't want her to feel like it's 394 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 1: hurt because it wasn't. It had nothing to do with her, 395 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:45,119 Speaker 1: Like we're happy, she's beautiful, Like the sex life is amazing, 396 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 1: Like everything was good. It's just there was things that 397 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 1: I was dealing with as a man that when this 398 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,800 Speaker 1: kind of came to the light, you know, it was 399 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,600 Speaker 1: like God was like, Yo, this is something you want 400 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 1: to do with it or otherwise y'all will be back together. 401 00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:59,720 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. How accountable is the other 402 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 1: one in right? Because obviously you two are in a 403 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:04,320 Speaker 1: relationship with each other, and a lot of times women 404 00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:06,639 Speaker 1: get mad at the other woman as well. Do you 405 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,720 Speaker 1: think because she knew that you guys were in a relationship, 406 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,520 Speaker 1: that she's at all accountable as well. And that's the 407 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,000 Speaker 1: thing with me, like I take all blame because me 408 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,320 Speaker 1: as a man in this relationship, like I should be 409 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:19,919 Speaker 1: strong enough to know how to cut that conversation, you 410 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,520 Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like even if the other like, yeah, 411 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,119 Speaker 1: she she shouldn't have went there. But I feel like 412 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,800 Speaker 1: me as the man in the situation, like I should 413 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,440 Speaker 1: be strong enough to represent my woman, like I'm not 414 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:32,439 Speaker 1: gonna let you disrespect our relationship like that, like whatever 415 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 1: we had to pass, you know. And so in the 416 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,200 Speaker 1: moment I was in my mind, I was like, man, 417 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:39,600 Speaker 1: she got me. Why she do this? Like it's her fault, 418 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,400 Speaker 1: we're not we're breaking up. But but once I went 419 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:45,720 Speaker 1: in a full accountability mode, like everything really falls on me, 420 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 1: Like I need to know how to handle myself around 421 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 1: women a man in relationship, we need to know how 422 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:53,679 Speaker 1: to have them boundaries if it is a female friend, 423 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,280 Speaker 1: a worker and acquaintance, whatever it is, you know. And 424 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,440 Speaker 1: we talked about that on our YouTube video, where is 425 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:01,920 Speaker 1: it okay for your significant other to have the opposite 426 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,800 Speaker 1: sex friend? And I think that it should be okay, 427 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,720 Speaker 1: But there needs to be boundaries, there has to be 428 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,359 Speaker 1: helps in respect because at the end of the day, 429 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:10,960 Speaker 1: I'm not going to be the same girl that I 430 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,959 Speaker 1: was last time, where I'm checking your phone and I'm 431 00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,440 Speaker 1: feeling insecure, like it's taking too much away from me 432 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:18,400 Speaker 1: where I'm not able to focus and be at peace 433 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,920 Speaker 1: with myself. So that's another thing, was a year of 434 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,720 Speaker 1: self love and growth and just really becoming more at 435 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:29,040 Speaker 1: peace with myself because getting involved and trying to check 436 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,119 Speaker 1: his phone and worrying about him that I'm never going 437 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 1: to be in a relationship like that again. And of 438 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 1: course it takes time to heal, because right now I'm 439 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,359 Speaker 1: still healing. I'm not I'm gonna be honest. I'm not 440 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,679 Speaker 1: trusting Dob. I don't know if I ever I was 441 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:47,800 Speaker 1: going to actually has to be. So we also talked 442 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:52,919 Speaker 1: about this too, where building trust, it's healthy to set 443 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:57,120 Speaker 1: rules where don knows I tell him all the things 444 00:21:57,119 --> 00:21:59,320 Speaker 1: that I feel uncomfortable with, I'll write it down and 445 00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:01,159 Speaker 1: the things that would made me feel comfortable if you 446 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:04,360 Speaker 1: did this same thing vice versa, and you just make 447 00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:07,240 Speaker 1: sure even because no one can read minds, so it's 448 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:10,359 Speaker 1: good to actually write it down and show that person 449 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,680 Speaker 1: and say, listen, this is not what I feel comfortable 450 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,800 Speaker 1: with I don't feel comfortable with that, and then you 451 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,640 Speaker 1: just check it off the list and just be communicating 452 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,840 Speaker 1: all the time. You have to communicate. I feel like 453 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:21,920 Speaker 1: that's the number one thing, and just be considered to 454 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 1: the other person's feelings and just build that trust because 455 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:27,600 Speaker 1: it's it's it's not impossible, but it is possible to 456 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:31,040 Speaker 1: build the trust back. And another thing that we shared 457 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,680 Speaker 1: was that, you know, my dad, of course he loves Don, 458 00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:36,960 Speaker 1: but he had like a whole hard, hard talk with me. 459 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,600 Speaker 1: I had to hard talk with my with Don talking 460 00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,800 Speaker 1: about his history because my dad they've been together. My 461 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:44,600 Speaker 1: mom and my dad have been together for like forty 462 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:49,760 Speaker 1: five years, and so they know what what love is. 463 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,960 Speaker 1: I feel like they've given me the best example. I 464 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,680 Speaker 1: grew up with them together, you know, opposite from Don. 465 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:58,240 Speaker 1: Don had, you know, his parents work together, so it's 466 00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:01,160 Speaker 1: a whole different story on his end. And my dad 467 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,880 Speaker 1: was telling me, you know, I cheated on your mom 468 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:07,440 Speaker 1: when I was in my room and you never knew that. Well, 469 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,160 Speaker 1: he did tell me that before, but I didn't think 470 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:10,840 Speaker 1: anything of it. I was like, I don't know, I 471 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:12,119 Speaker 1: don't know how he did A mom I could not 472 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:13,600 Speaker 1: do it, and I was the one that was like, 473 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,400 Speaker 1: once you tell me, it's a wrap over, and it's 474 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:20,320 Speaker 1: different when you're actually in the situation. Yeah, because it's 475 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,280 Speaker 1: got a lot of people that past jasmine, right, because 476 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 1: even because your relationship was so public, then when you 477 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:28,879 Speaker 1: get back together, people a way in and they're like, oh, 478 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:31,600 Speaker 1: it depends on the circumstances. That depends on the person. 479 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,480 Speaker 1: It depends on the timing. Because we didn't speak for 480 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,119 Speaker 1: six months, we were completely over. But well back to 481 00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,600 Speaker 1: my dad. My dad was explaining to me, said, listen, 482 00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,640 Speaker 1: you know when I cheated on your mom, I was stupid. 483 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,960 Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking your mom. So she was a workaholic. 484 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,479 Speaker 1: She she was a nurse at the time, and he 485 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,280 Speaker 1: was bored and he was taking care of the kids 486 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:52,440 Speaker 1: and he ended up cheating my mom. My mom found out. 487 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:54,040 Speaker 1: But he said, just because I cheated on her does 488 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:57,080 Speaker 1: not mean I don't love her. I just wasn't on 489 00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:00,240 Speaker 1: my right mindset. I knew I didn't want anything else 490 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:03,119 Speaker 1: more than just that one moment, but I want to 491 00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:05,880 Speaker 1: be with your mom. But I was careless. And he said, 492 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:07,840 Speaker 1: I'm not saying to get back with don but I'm 493 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:12,000 Speaker 1: letting you know that forgiveness and healing and time, and 494 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,760 Speaker 1: people can truly change if they want. People were born 495 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,800 Speaker 1: to evolve if they want to. People can grow and 496 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,600 Speaker 1: develop new habits and break off the old habits and change. 497 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,280 Speaker 1: And I do believe in change. I don't believe people 498 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,879 Speaker 1: were meant to stay the same. You know, we're not 499 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,639 Speaker 1: the same thing we were last year. I believe that 500 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,800 Speaker 1: people can truly change an elevated to become a better person. 501 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:34,239 Speaker 1: But here's a lip service question for you guys. Right, So, 502 00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:37,120 Speaker 1: when you guys finally did get back together. I saw 503 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,159 Speaker 1: he came to the house, you know, and it was 504 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,720 Speaker 1: by accident that he saw you. I'm sure you are 505 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:50,960 Speaker 1: looking cute in the kitchen or whatever. Right, So, whoever, 506 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:54,040 Speaker 1: wasn't like when you guys finally had sex again for 507 00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:57,679 Speaker 1: the first time because it had been so long, you know, 508 00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:59,720 Speaker 1: you were so used to each other and like you said, 509 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:02,959 Speaker 1: the sex life was amazing. So what was that like? 510 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,760 Speaker 1: Was it emotional? Did you cry? Did you keep thinking 511 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:15,480 Speaker 1: about you know, like what happened? Boy? Stop? But that 512 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:19,760 Speaker 1: really when it was like it was like, I mean, 513 00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:23,640 Speaker 1: it was passionate. I mean I feel like it's always 514 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:27,400 Speaker 1: just I wasn't emotional. I was just first I was like, 515 00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 1: it's just really right because you know that one word 516 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:35,879 Speaker 1: I heard, And then I like, right now, I don't know, 517 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,600 Speaker 1: but it was I mean, our connection to me, it 518 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,320 Speaker 1: was like actor felt like I won the NBA Champion 519 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:45,480 Speaker 1: he saw flash before. It was like, I'm back, like 520 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:50,879 Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know, but you're sleeping with 521 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 1: other women in between the time that y'all broke up. No, 522 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,480 Speaker 1: I actually I was reading, Uh. I had read Devon's 523 00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:01,520 Speaker 1: book Um Devonna Megan's book The Way, and so I 524 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,960 Speaker 1: was like, actually, like I had shifted in my mindset. 525 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,160 Speaker 1: I was about to like I was working on abstinence. 526 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,240 Speaker 1: Like it was crazy. I did like a whole three 527 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:11,480 Speaker 1: Like I went from like like I used to watch 528 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:15,280 Speaker 1: pornography like I used to like I had like me, 529 00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:17,640 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, and so like when this happened, 530 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:20,679 Speaker 1: like I cut, I stopped watching pornography, like I stopped 531 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,560 Speaker 1: drinking liquor, like I tried to shift my whole minds, 532 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,280 Speaker 1: like I started reading, like like at least like a 533 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,080 Speaker 1: few hours a day, I was reading books. I was 534 00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,119 Speaker 1: talking to de von von Franklin kind of on the 535 00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:32,199 Speaker 1: regular and so I had read his books, so I 536 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:35,360 Speaker 1: was like practicing abstinence at the time. So like when 537 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,119 Speaker 1: it happened, I was like, I was like, a damn, 538 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:44,280 Speaker 1: it's gonna be twenty seconds. But was it quick? Was 539 00:26:44,320 --> 00:27:00,080 Speaker 1: it really bad? We're not asking you answer it. It 540 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:07,720 Speaker 1: wasn't quick, but it was just not long, really, And 541 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,960 Speaker 1: and I know he had to um probably do a 542 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:14,480 Speaker 1: whole lot of four play and everything right first, because 543 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:21,160 Speaker 1: just pissing up happened because I actually I wasn't seeing 544 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,439 Speaker 1: anybody else. I felt like, honestly, this is when the 545 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:27,120 Speaker 1: COVID was happening. And it was like the worst time 546 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,560 Speaker 1: because I was ready to travel with my girls and 547 00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:33,240 Speaker 1: just be out and COVID happened, everything shut down. I 548 00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:36,000 Speaker 1: was like, lower, please let the whole world shut down 549 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:39,280 Speaker 1: so she can't so you cause you cause this if 550 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,080 Speaker 1: I got to be in the house without her, like 551 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,119 Speaker 1: make sure she's in the house. And then also happened. 552 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:46,560 Speaker 1: I was it was the worst timing because you know, 553 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:48,480 Speaker 1: once you break up, you want to just go out 554 00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:51,239 Speaker 1: with your friends and just you know, travel or just 555 00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:53,000 Speaker 1: not be at home. And I had to sit with 556 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:56,879 Speaker 1: my feelings. It was just honestly the craziest timing. And 557 00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,640 Speaker 1: I didn't want to go and date because I feel 558 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:03,760 Speaker 1: like everyone of COVID, I was just if you cheated. 559 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,120 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I don't want to be wrong. 560 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,080 Speaker 1: I felt like the reason why I didn't ask you 561 00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:15,240 Speaker 1: if you slept with somebody in between the time is 562 00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:17,760 Speaker 1: because I didn't think you would. And I'm gonna be 563 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:20,760 Speaker 1: honest with you. I think you can tell me I'm wrong, 564 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:22,480 Speaker 1: and I know you're gonna say I'm wrong. But I 565 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:24,399 Speaker 1: kind of think you had in the back room. I yea, 566 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:26,280 Speaker 1: I might get back together, and you just wanted him 567 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:30,160 Speaker 1: to do right. Oh no, No, I hated you did 568 00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:33,840 Speaker 1: you really hated him for him at him? After that point, 569 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,080 Speaker 1: I was so fed up and we're about to get intried. 570 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,760 Speaker 1: It was completely over. You could even a stone or 571 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:43,760 Speaker 1: my parents, they was completely sure he got sick. I 572 00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,640 Speaker 1: didn't care. I was so mad. I was so I 573 00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:48,719 Speaker 1: was so mad, and I didn't care. I was already 574 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:50,960 Speaker 1: I had the COVID. She didn't give it down. You 575 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,720 Speaker 1: got COVID real bad. No. I was like, it was 576 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,360 Speaker 1: like I had like a fever for the night and 577 00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:58,720 Speaker 1: then the next day. But either wait, I call their parents, 578 00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:06,440 Speaker 1: and I think it's how I was so mad that 579 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,560 Speaker 1: my parents were still friends with him, and I'm not 580 00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,280 Speaker 1: going to take that away from him and my parents. 581 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,760 Speaker 1: So I said, whatever you guys have plan, just keep 582 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:16,880 Speaker 1: it away from me. If he tries to come over 583 00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:19,040 Speaker 1: here for any any reason, I'm not going to be home. 584 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,720 Speaker 1: So the only reason why he came by was when 585 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:23,800 Speaker 1: our dog was sick and he was communicating with my 586 00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:26,800 Speaker 1: sister about it because, um, my sister was telling you, oh, 587 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,000 Speaker 1: biggs be sick and we have to take him to 588 00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,880 Speaker 1: the vet. And he volunteered to take Biggsby to the vet. 589 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:33,320 Speaker 1: So I knew that he was going to come. So 590 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,400 Speaker 1: the first few visits when he came, I wasn't there. 591 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,120 Speaker 1: So when the last time he came to drop Biggsby off, 592 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:39,920 Speaker 1: I was there in the kitchen and that's when I 593 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:41,920 Speaker 1: saw him. And it's like such a weird feeling because 594 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:45,160 Speaker 1: after five six months and you see someone again, it's 595 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:47,360 Speaker 1: like that feeling in your heart where your heart drops 596 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:51,120 Speaker 1: and you're just like a little heart attack. Yeah. I 597 00:29:51,200 --> 00:30:03,760 Speaker 1: was like, I became a mechanic now. You used to 598 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:05,800 Speaker 1: try to meet sweet through that time, and I told 599 00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:07,720 Speaker 1: him I said, don't leave any gifts or anything. I 600 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:10,920 Speaker 1: threw everything away. Wow, you know you have a lot 601 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 1: of willpower, because you know how difficult that is, especially 602 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,640 Speaker 1: during a pandemic when you're not meeting anybody new, you're 603 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:18,719 Speaker 1: not able to go outside and go anywhere. Like, how 604 00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 1: were you able to do that? Because I'm sure there 605 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:24,040 Speaker 1: were times that you felt weak. I have amazing friends. 606 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:26,560 Speaker 1: I am so grateful for my girls because we stay, 607 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:29,960 Speaker 1: you know together, Like through that time, I only had 608 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,200 Speaker 1: my friends and my family, and sometimes I really was 609 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:35,000 Speaker 1: by myself, and I just really wanted to fight that 610 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,239 Speaker 1: feeling because what am I fighting for? If I get back, 611 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:40,080 Speaker 1: how am I going to make this situation different? So 612 00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:41,480 Speaker 1: I kept on the back of my mind and I 613 00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:46,400 Speaker 1: really got into manifestation UM journaling, reading, and I started 614 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:48,960 Speaker 1: doing a lot of YouTube videos of talking about self 615 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,520 Speaker 1: growth and love. So it kind of helped me stay 616 00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:54,160 Speaker 1: hould myself accountable. So I really just dug deep and 617 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:58,480 Speaker 1: just stayed stay strong through that situation. And then like again, 618 00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,520 Speaker 1: when Don started coming around and he's we actually shared 619 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:05,080 Speaker 1: the same life coach Tony Gaskins, So I love Tony Gaskins. 620 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:08,480 Speaker 1: So he's been with us since the beginning of our relationship, 621 00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:10,480 Speaker 1: and he started mentoring on the first time when he 622 00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:14,760 Speaker 1: had that situation happened, and the differences from before and 623 00:31:14,840 --> 00:31:18,520 Speaker 1: now before I took him back too soon, it was 624 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:22,680 Speaker 1: like a week later after that situation had happened. This time, 625 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:25,440 Speaker 1: I really was over him, and Tony was telling him, like, 626 00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,640 Speaker 1: bro leave her alone, Like she completely is over you, 627 00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:29,560 Speaker 1: Like I talked to her, and you just need to 628 00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:34,320 Speaker 1: focus on you. And down the line, Um, Tony calls 629 00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:36,600 Speaker 1: me and he checks on me, and then um, you 630 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:39,480 Speaker 1: know he was telling me, also, oh, yeah, don't actually 631 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:43,440 Speaker 1: doing really well. Um, he's writing a book and he's 632 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:46,200 Speaker 1: been consistent with his courses. Before he didn't finish his courses. 633 00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,000 Speaker 1: Now he's actually following up with his classes and finishing everything. 634 00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:52,280 Speaker 1: So I'm like in the back of my mind, that's 635 00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:54,360 Speaker 1: when I was like, Okay, well I'm happy for him, 636 00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:57,000 Speaker 1: good for him. And I just didn't think, oh, now 637 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,959 Speaker 1: I want to get back with him. It was more like, well, 638 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,960 Speaker 1: I'm glad he's choosing that route. Then to just be 639 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:04,400 Speaker 1: in the in the beginning, and in the beginning, it 640 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:07,040 Speaker 1: was when I was working with Tony and I messed up. 641 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,400 Speaker 1: It was a desperation to get her back and to 642 00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:12,840 Speaker 1: like what I had to do to get her back. 643 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,920 Speaker 1: This time around, I think I have matured and it 644 00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:18,560 Speaker 1: was more of I need to do what I need 645 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:20,880 Speaker 1: to do to get my life right and figure out 646 00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:23,680 Speaker 1: where I really want my future to go. And by 647 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,000 Speaker 1: doing that, I pray that it brings us back together. 648 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:29,320 Speaker 1: And so I was really working with Tony this time around, 649 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:32,320 Speaker 1: just to really learn from Tony and what because he 650 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,600 Speaker 1: had gone He's gone through some crazy stuff in his life, 651 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,760 Speaker 1: you know, and and before I was just like, man, 652 00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:38,840 Speaker 1: teach me, show me how I can get my girl back. 653 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:42,160 Speaker 1: You know what here for the first year now it's 654 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,760 Speaker 1: like four years in something was like, man, I really 655 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:49,560 Speaker 1: want Yeah. So but Tony, Tony is amazing. He's been 656 00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:52,400 Speaker 1: such a big Tony is amazing. Dan, You've learned a 657 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:55,040 Speaker 1: lot about yourself. Clearly during that time you wrote your book, 658 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,640 Speaker 1: right My Truth. So what do you think about you know, 659 00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,840 Speaker 1: your parents and even your grand parents and how that's 660 00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:04,080 Speaker 1: affected you and how you deal with relationships. I mean, 661 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:07,520 Speaker 1: I think it's heavily influenced my life. You know, my 662 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:12,080 Speaker 1: my grandparents separated, My my grandmother was addicted to crack cocaine. 663 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:16,360 Speaker 1: My father was addicted to crack um, his father was 664 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,400 Speaker 1: addicted to heroin. Um. There was, like I think I 665 00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:23,080 Speaker 1: witnessed so much unhealthy relationships in my life. I never 666 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:26,600 Speaker 1: really knew how to carry a relationship the right way. 667 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:30,720 Speaker 1: I never really had that so called couple to look 668 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,600 Speaker 1: up to, like how her parents together. My mother was 669 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,920 Speaker 1: in and out of abusive relationships, and so, like I said, 670 00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:38,920 Speaker 1: I didn't try to make an excuse for it, but 671 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,840 Speaker 1: it's real, Like when you see these patterns, you don't 672 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,560 Speaker 1: really know that it carries on in your life. And 673 00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:46,120 Speaker 1: so for me, I had to go back and like 674 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:49,840 Speaker 1: backtrack and be like, Okay, what was my father doing that? 675 00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:53,760 Speaker 1: Like him and his father were constantly making excuses for 676 00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,360 Speaker 1: their wrong doings, but they were never fixing it. You know. 677 00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,760 Speaker 1: It'd be like, oh, I got high this weekend, I'm 678 00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:00,280 Speaker 1: not gonna do it no more. And then by the 679 00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,520 Speaker 1: next weekend, I don't hear from him, and he's getting 680 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:06,680 Speaker 1: high again. And for me with women or if I'm 681 00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:08,319 Speaker 1: out of the club and I don't call you till 682 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:10,560 Speaker 1: six in the morning, in my mind, it's the same 683 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:13,520 Speaker 1: thing as my father going and getting high again. You 684 00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:14,880 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. And so I was like, I 685 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:17,080 Speaker 1: don't want to. For me, I kind of use those 686 00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:19,440 Speaker 1: It's like I don't want to carry the same patterns 687 00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,840 Speaker 1: that has been in my generation year after year after year. 688 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,920 Speaker 1: Um and so as little as those things, like luckily 689 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:29,160 Speaker 1: I didn't follow that pattern with drugs, but you know, 690 00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:32,880 Speaker 1: it can attack you in different ways, and so for me, 691 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:35,600 Speaker 1: I was like, what's attacking me? What's stopping me from 692 00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:38,640 Speaker 1: reaching that next level of my life? And so luckily 693 00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:40,920 Speaker 1: the pandemic and me and her breaking up, I was 694 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:44,359 Speaker 1: able to sit down and focus on myself and kind 695 00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:47,480 Speaker 1: of separate from my friends when all my friends were like, Yo, 696 00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,959 Speaker 1: let's go hit the club like you're single again, let's 697 00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:52,120 Speaker 1: go turn up, And I'm like, I don't want to 698 00:34:52,160 --> 00:34:54,799 Speaker 1: do that no more, Like that's not really I don't 699 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:56,920 Speaker 1: feel that feed in my soul. And I feel like 700 00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:59,440 Speaker 1: I need been different for my life, you know I've been. 701 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:02,319 Speaker 1: It's weird because like I was going through like a transition, 702 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:05,960 Speaker 1: like my agency had dropped me, my manager dropped me. 703 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,239 Speaker 1: Like I was like I was low key, like stressed out. 704 00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:11,040 Speaker 1: I had like one little gig that was carrying me 705 00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:15,080 Speaker 1: through and social media was attacking social media like a 706 00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:18,040 Speaker 1: lot of things were everything was weighing on me. I 707 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,160 Speaker 1: was like a point where I was like, yo, everything 708 00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:23,000 Speaker 1: is weighing on me. And I was like, but I didn't. 709 00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:24,480 Speaker 1: I could have liked, I could have went out and 710 00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:26,600 Speaker 1: did some club appearances and made a quick bag, but 711 00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:28,759 Speaker 1: I was like, I don't want. I need something more 712 00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:32,200 Speaker 1: soothing for my soul, and so like, let me sit 713 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,680 Speaker 1: down and figure some write things out. And for me, 714 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,200 Speaker 1: this situation ended up being the biggest blessing for me 715 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:40,840 Speaker 1: because after I sat down and locked in, like, shoot, 716 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:44,640 Speaker 1: my blessings blew up times ten. So would you not 717 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:47,920 Speaker 1: drinking and doing any kind of smoking or anything like 718 00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:51,120 Speaker 1: that right, because both you don't smoke either, I'll smoke 719 00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:56,120 Speaker 1: without doing any drinking anything. Does that like change? Yeah? 720 00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:59,319 Speaker 1: You guys? Sex life like didn't make it better? Or 721 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:01,680 Speaker 1: does it? Did it change at all? I mean I 722 00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:04,840 Speaker 1: didn't really drink. I wasn't like an alcoholic just an alcoholic, 723 00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:08,440 Speaker 1: but it was it was more so like I drank 724 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:12,920 Speaker 1: excessively when I was partying, and so it wasn't in moderation. 725 00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,839 Speaker 1: It was like overboard drink. I'm gonna go hard, I'm 726 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,080 Speaker 1: gonna turn up like crazy. So for me, I'll let 727 00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,359 Speaker 1: me just chill and cut it out. But it didn't 728 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:23,760 Speaker 1: really like make our sex life better or work affected. 729 00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:28,520 Speaker 1: And she's never drank or smoked ever, so she performed 730 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,200 Speaker 1: with or without this. That's fun. I want to take 731 00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:37,200 Speaker 1: a shot. Listen, we will drink to that for you guys. 732 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:44,560 Speaker 1: So now are you guys discussing marriage again? Yes, we are. 733 00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:49,520 Speaker 1: We're talking about it. Um, there's some plans but we 734 00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,799 Speaker 1: haven't announced anything yet. But we might have to come 735 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:58,040 Speaker 1: back on here for the start over because it's like, um, 736 00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:05,480 Speaker 1: do you say I'm engaged? I gotta propose. I know 737 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:10,640 Speaker 1: that's right, right, right, that's right. I'm only personal ring 738 00:37:10,719 --> 00:37:20,600 Speaker 1: on everything. Okay, dream we dream of a wedding. It's 739 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:24,880 Speaker 1: gonna be a real big every woman deserves their dream wedding, 740 00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:28,000 Speaker 1: especially you know, going through something like this, like you 741 00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:37,319 Speaker 1: only big you know, yeah, yeah, whatever, she says. I've 742 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,560 Speaker 1: been trying to, like three time, like I feel a 743 00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:41,600 Speaker 1: certain way, I try to. I'll sit back an assess 744 00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:43,719 Speaker 1: and be like you know what this is how it's 745 00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:46,160 Speaker 1: gonna go. Like at first, I was like we proposed, 746 00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:48,239 Speaker 1: like what I already got you a nice ring, like, 747 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:50,400 Speaker 1: but then I was like, you know what, I funked up? 748 00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,200 Speaker 1: I want this, what's gonna make you happy? All right? 749 00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:55,200 Speaker 1: I'm willing to do it, you know. And so for me, 750 00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,120 Speaker 1: I've just been wanting to challenge myself in every aspect 751 00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:01,080 Speaker 1: as a man, to wear things that I would like move. 752 00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:02,480 Speaker 1: If I feel like I was moving on prior to 753 00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:05,160 Speaker 1: Ego before, then I'm gonna sit myself down and be like, 754 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,680 Speaker 1: you know what, if this is what she wants, I'm 755 00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:10,160 Speaker 1: gonna make her happy and try this for her, you know. 756 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:12,880 Speaker 1: And at the end of the day, me, if I 757 00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,040 Speaker 1: can say that I've given it my all and if 758 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:16,879 Speaker 1: it still doesn't work or she's like I still can't 759 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,719 Speaker 1: trust you, you know, I'm still broken that situation. As 760 00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:21,000 Speaker 1: long as at the end of the day me as 761 00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:22,640 Speaker 1: a man, I can say that I did everything that 762 00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:25,680 Speaker 1: I could to really change the man that I've become 763 00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:27,680 Speaker 1: and what I'm doing to make you happy as a woman, 764 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:31,200 Speaker 1: then that's really all I can do, you know. Being 765 00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:35,120 Speaker 1: totally transparent, hat do you bring it up? Do you 766 00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:36,840 Speaker 1: ever bring up the fact that he can bring it 767 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,560 Speaker 1: up sometimes? And it's only when it triggers when certain 768 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:44,880 Speaker 1: situations happened where um, certain movies, certain movies. Yeah, and 769 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,600 Speaker 1: I still get that, like you look at him like 770 00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:54,160 Speaker 1: I know guys like you have to mines And I 771 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:57,520 Speaker 1: wake up and I'm like, I'm pissed at my dream. 772 00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:01,520 Speaker 1: She wakes up like qushing. But but as a man, 773 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,800 Speaker 1: you have to be patient and understand that, right because 774 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:05,520 Speaker 1: you grow up the trust, so now you have to 775 00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,560 Speaker 1: build that back up. And there's gonna be times when 776 00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:10,200 Speaker 1: she might ask you some questions she's asked you before. 777 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,080 Speaker 1: She might bring it up again. But I think also 778 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:15,360 Speaker 1: as a woman, if you forgive somebody, right and you 779 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,319 Speaker 1: want to move on, you have to work on that 780 00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:22,960 Speaker 1: yourself too. Right. I do love though about our situation. 781 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:27,080 Speaker 1: There's so much growth And I didn't think that i'd 782 00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:30,839 Speaker 1: ever get back with someone that ever cheated on me. 783 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,960 Speaker 1: And once I feel like, once trust is broken is 784 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,319 Speaker 1: completely broken. You can't fix it. But going through this 785 00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:39,240 Speaker 1: process with down and having a counselor and really forgiving 786 00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:42,719 Speaker 1: someone and seeing the growth and change um and Don 787 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,799 Speaker 1: and him like quitting drinking and him not going out 788 00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,319 Speaker 1: his new fun things to do with golf and like 789 00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:50,839 Speaker 1: spend time with the family and like, you know, things 790 00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:52,360 Speaker 1: that I feel that I can be involved in and 791 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:55,839 Speaker 1: feel comfortable him doing and not being in temptation where 792 00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:57,920 Speaker 1: he's not going to the clubs, he's not hosting clubs, 793 00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:03,560 Speaker 1: he's not around random girls. Like it's very like clean. 794 00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:06,120 Speaker 1: But let's say he does have to go out right 795 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,840 Speaker 1: for whatever reason, it's a friend's birthday or whatever, would 796 00:40:09,880 --> 00:40:14,360 Speaker 1: you be comfortable he invites me. So he invites me, 797 00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:16,279 Speaker 1: He involves me, and he gives me the option to 798 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:19,160 Speaker 1: come or not. And when he does, he's been communicating 799 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:21,560 Speaker 1: with me like who's They're like, hey, just saw you 800 00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:24,680 Speaker 1: know ball blas here like but for the most part 801 00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,880 Speaker 1: we've been together, I've been like a little like a 802 00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,160 Speaker 1: triple my guys, the Palm Springs, you know, it was 803 00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:33,320 Speaker 1: golfing at the casino. But things that I wouldn't do before, 804 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:36,360 Speaker 1: for example, like if we're out and there's some girls, 805 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:38,880 Speaker 1: like my boy's got some girls around, Like I'm not 806 00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:41,840 Speaker 1: gonna be like, I'm not gonna worry about him just there, 807 00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,120 Speaker 1: but now I'm gonna call her and let her know, like, yo, 808 00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:48,680 Speaker 1: just let me know. You know. The thing is to 809 00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:51,759 Speaker 1: find out from someone else. Yeah, because that's what I learned, 810 00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:55,200 Speaker 1: like because somebody coulds like you know, we're out, people 811 00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:59,640 Speaker 1: could take a video or something and then tackture make 812 00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,120 Speaker 1: it look like something more than what if something is not. 813 00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,480 Speaker 1: So now I just I've learned how to handle myself 814 00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:08,480 Speaker 1: in situations better to make her comfortable as to where 815 00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:10,400 Speaker 1: before it's like I'm gonna do what I want to do, 816 00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:13,040 Speaker 1: like I'm gonna maneuver how I want to maneuver, and 817 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,080 Speaker 1: that's what it is. But now it's like, let me 818 00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:18,120 Speaker 1: do things to where I'm building her trust the right 819 00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,319 Speaker 1: way where it's like, yo, there's some girls around just 820 00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:22,560 Speaker 1: letting you know so you don't have to hear nothing 821 00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:24,879 Speaker 1: from nobody, but this is what it is. I'll keep 822 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,560 Speaker 1: you and you know, saying in touch, like I tried 823 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,680 Speaker 1: to maneuvering ways to where she doesn't have to worry 824 00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:31,839 Speaker 1: about it no more. And a lot of people ask 825 00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:34,400 Speaker 1: me like how can you trust somebody after they've broken 826 00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:36,640 Speaker 1: your trust like that? And just gradually growing like how 827 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:40,520 Speaker 1: do you transition from being the paranoid girlfriend and wondering 828 00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:43,200 Speaker 1: and questioning to being more of you know, like you said, 829 00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:46,120 Speaker 1: not going crazy and not bringing it up all the 830 00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:48,759 Speaker 1: time I think it. It happens through time, and it 831 00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:52,120 Speaker 1: happens through communication. Because in the beginning when we started 832 00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:54,719 Speaker 1: seeing each other again, you know, I was bringing it up. 833 00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:56,239 Speaker 1: I was letting him know how much I was heard. 834 00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,400 Speaker 1: There are times I would just start crying because it 835 00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:00,680 Speaker 1: would just hurt me and I would get triggered, and 836 00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,960 Speaker 1: through time it will just go away. But I feel 837 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,839 Speaker 1: that it's good to really focus on, you know, not 838 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:09,680 Speaker 1: bringing it up all the time, because you don't want 839 00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:12,040 Speaker 1: to always throw it in their face. I don't you know, 840 00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:13,960 Speaker 1: you're not going to go from that if you consistently 841 00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:16,480 Speaker 1: keep throwing it in their face. She's good, she's good 842 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:19,160 Speaker 1: about not bringing it up too often, and if and 843 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,040 Speaker 1: if it does get brought up, we're good about like 844 00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:26,440 Speaker 1: working through it. It doesn't blow up into wherever? Right now? 845 00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:30,520 Speaker 1: Where's the girl friend? No more? Yeah? Do you have 846 00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:36,279 Speaker 1: you guys spoken at all? Block? And you don't see her? 847 00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:39,920 Speaker 1: How like y'all don't see her? How nah? Did you 848 00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,400 Speaker 1: ever see Chris Rock especially where he's like when he teated, 849 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,760 Speaker 1: He's like, did you make a left with that bitch? 850 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:47,600 Speaker 1: And he did a car with his wife and make 851 00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:52,000 Speaker 1: a left turn and he did, right, And that's exactly 852 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,799 Speaker 1: how it is. That yeah, how it is. Yeah, this 853 00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,600 Speaker 1: show is lip service and we do get a little 854 00:42:56,680 --> 00:42:59,480 Speaker 1: nasty sometimes, so I gotta ask you this, right, So, 855 00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:02,920 Speaker 1: being that you fucked up but you're in that, do 856 00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:04,680 Speaker 1: you ever just say you just lay down, let me 857 00:43:04,719 --> 00:43:06,719 Speaker 1: please you. I'm just gonna go down on you. You 858 00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:08,440 Speaker 1: ain't even got to do nothing for me. I just 859 00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:11,479 Speaker 1: want to do everything for you, me to her. Yeah, 860 00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:15,600 Speaker 1: yeah of course. And Leanne, have you ever been okay 861 00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:17,279 Speaker 1: with just that and been like I know, I'm just 862 00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:24,360 Speaker 1: gonna lay here and just accept all this and you know, yeah, 863 00:43:22,840 --> 00:43:30,040 Speaker 1: yeah in my head, man misses up where you know 864 00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:33,960 Speaker 1: it's crazy. It's like it's crazy because like after I 865 00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:36,479 Speaker 1: read the weight and I started like that whole six 866 00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:39,839 Speaker 1: months and not having sex and just like being in 867 00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:44,120 Speaker 1: that moment like like I'm now like cool with like 868 00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:46,640 Speaker 1: you know, if it's a week or so, if I 869 00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:49,160 Speaker 1: just got to please her, like I'm more on my 870 00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:51,279 Speaker 1: mindset is different where I'm cool with that now, Like 871 00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:53,480 Speaker 1: of course I still want it, but it's like more 872 00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:56,320 Speaker 1: you gain that self control as a man like you, 873 00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:58,360 Speaker 1: You now gain that control because it's a man like 874 00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:01,279 Speaker 1: the section that set shool Dog and us is like 875 00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:03,680 Speaker 1: it's fierce, you know what I'm saying. So once you 876 00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:06,279 Speaker 1: gain control of that element, it's like I could I 877 00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:08,200 Speaker 1: want it? Yeah, I still like I look at her 878 00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:09,560 Speaker 1: and I'm like, I want it. But I can be 879 00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:11,640 Speaker 1: cool with it and be like, let me just please 880 00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:14,400 Speaker 1: you and make you happy. You know, I feel like 881 00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:23,120 Speaker 1: it's about to go down after this. Well, listen, I 882 00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:25,000 Speaker 1: do want to thank you guys for being so open 883 00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,960 Speaker 1: about everything, because I'm gonna be honest. Like one of 884 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,600 Speaker 1: the main things that people always talk to us about is, 885 00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:33,279 Speaker 1: you know, guys and girls to sometimes mess up and 886 00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,560 Speaker 1: want to figure out how do they repair a relationship? 887 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,360 Speaker 1: And you know, do you think it helped me in that? 888 00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:41,000 Speaker 1: All throughout? Even though you know you told him, don't 889 00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:42,680 Speaker 1: pop up or I'll call the police, but he still 890 00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:45,839 Speaker 1: was trying to get you know, still sending things, still 891 00:44:46,200 --> 00:44:49,239 Speaker 1: making sure that you knew that he still cared and 892 00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:50,960 Speaker 1: doing things like that. Or do you think it's better 893 00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:53,160 Speaker 1: to just leave somebody completely alone like you said you 894 00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:57,919 Speaker 1: wanted you know, for me, I wanted him to leave 895 00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:01,560 Speaker 1: me completely alone because there's there comes a point where 896 00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:03,399 Speaker 1: a woman is fed up and they're like, I don't 897 00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:06,319 Speaker 1: care what you do. I don't want anything that has 898 00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:08,560 Speaker 1: to do with you or connected to you. So I 899 00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:11,360 Speaker 1: think that if a woman really is there has to 900 00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:14,200 Speaker 1: be a situation where you know if you should fight 901 00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:16,040 Speaker 1: for it or you should let go. And I think 902 00:45:16,080 --> 00:45:19,640 Speaker 1: this point, at this point, it was time to let go. 903 00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,879 Speaker 1: And and and it's because I felt that I did all 904 00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:24,759 Speaker 1: I could and everything that he needed to do was 905 00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:28,560 Speaker 1: within himself. Until he comes and he's completely in a person. 906 00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:31,920 Speaker 1: I feel that that's when I can actually allow his 907 00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,840 Speaker 1: presence to be around me because I was just really 908 00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:37,000 Speaker 1: protecting my energy. At that point, I was just over 909 00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:40,479 Speaker 1: it completely. But I think that it's it was nice 910 00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:43,160 Speaker 1: like after like that time that I was able to 911 00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:45,959 Speaker 1: be by myself and Donald started doing those thoughtful things, 912 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:47,440 Speaker 1: that's when I was open to it because I was 913 00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:50,040 Speaker 1: healing and I was also at piece of myself. I 914 00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:51,879 Speaker 1: think it just depends on a woman. If a woman, 915 00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:53,600 Speaker 1: you can tell when a woman wants you to fight 916 00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:56,160 Speaker 1: for them, Yeah, because sometimes you say let me alone 917 00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:57,880 Speaker 1: and you don't really and then he leaves you alone 918 00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:00,960 Speaker 1: and you're like, yeah, we don't care. That's a struggle 919 00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:03,279 Speaker 1: that we can because when I was in and I'm like, 920 00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:05,319 Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm supposed to be doing nice 921 00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:07,120 Speaker 1: things or if I'm really supposed to leave you alone. 922 00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:10,040 Speaker 1: And so we really, as men, we don't know. It's 923 00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,640 Speaker 1: like you tell us leave me alone, but then if 924 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:14,879 Speaker 1: we leave you alone, and it's like, what, you didn't 925 00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:18,680 Speaker 1: even fight for me? And then and then it's like, 926 00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:20,440 Speaker 1: if we're fighting for you, it's like, leave me alone. 927 00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:22,360 Speaker 1: Because when I was talking like, I would talk to 928 00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:24,560 Speaker 1: her friends because we're all in the same circle. So 929 00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:26,600 Speaker 1: like when we broke up, I would still be talking 930 00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:28,440 Speaker 1: to friends and I'd be like, what am I supposed 931 00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:30,759 Speaker 1: to be fighting for or not? And they're like, we'll 932 00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:32,759 Speaker 1: fight for her, but do it at a distance and 933 00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:38,319 Speaker 1: don't talk Like what then does that mean? How does 934 00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:41,040 Speaker 1: this mean? I'm profused? Look at her, but not with 935 00:46:41,120 --> 00:46:46,560 Speaker 1: your eyes. That's the most tricky thing for guys. So yeah, 936 00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:53,720 Speaker 1: y'all need to let us know the girl. Yeah, and Louis, 937 00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:56,480 Speaker 1: but don't buy me no snacks and don't pull up 938 00:46:57,440 --> 00:47:02,320 Speaker 1: arrangements then bags and you're And for the guys, I 939 00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:04,200 Speaker 1: guess they would have to read your book to figure 940 00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:07,040 Speaker 1: out how to you know, change theirselves or to know 941 00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:10,279 Speaker 1: when that woman is worth it for them, because are 942 00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:13,720 Speaker 1: they really changing for themselves? Are they changing for the woman? 943 00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:16,879 Speaker 1: I think it's of course that's something like you want 944 00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:20,400 Speaker 1: the woman, but it's ultimately something and that woman that 945 00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:23,359 Speaker 1: brings out what you want to change in yourself. If 946 00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:27,200 Speaker 1: that makes sense, I guess, um, because it's like there's 947 00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:29,480 Speaker 1: I mean, I've been in relationships and I've never like 948 00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:31,239 Speaker 1: I've always at the end of the relationship, I'm like, man, 949 00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:33,800 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do me like she's losing out, like it 950 00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:36,239 Speaker 1: is what it is, you know. And then from in 951 00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:39,399 Speaker 1: this situation, it's like I need to fix some things 952 00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:41,560 Speaker 1: to myself as a man, like I don't need to 953 00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:44,879 Speaker 1: be maneuvering the same. So yes, I think ultimately it's 954 00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:47,240 Speaker 1: like for the woman, but it's for you, like because 955 00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:50,040 Speaker 1: regardless of if me and Leanne got back together, the 956 00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:52,360 Speaker 1: things that I was doing, it might be it was 957 00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:54,320 Speaker 1: gonna be for whoever's gonna be my wife, you know 958 00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:57,080 Speaker 1: what I'm saying. So um, But it usually is that 959 00:47:57,160 --> 00:47:58,919 Speaker 1: when it takes that right woman to bring it out 960 00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:01,279 Speaker 1: of the man, it's always either like a woman or 961 00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:03,960 Speaker 1: money that makes a man really change like either you 962 00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:08,080 Speaker 1: broke lost a woman and your your dreams. It makes 963 00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:10,799 Speaker 1: this want to really change some things around. But that's good. 964 00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:14,160 Speaker 1: It feels like you know yourself a lot better now. Now. 965 00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:17,160 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm with somebody that is walking with purpose, 966 00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:21,280 Speaker 1: that is being aware of everything and setting healthy boundaries 967 00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:24,520 Speaker 1: and communicating way better. Like it sucks to say, like 968 00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:28,120 Speaker 1: us when we go through things, but then something's just happened, 969 00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:30,560 Speaker 1: you know, for a reason. I believe that everything happens 970 00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:33,279 Speaker 1: for a reason, and it's either we grow from it 971 00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:35,080 Speaker 1: or we just stay the same. And I think that 972 00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:37,560 Speaker 1: this definitely helped us grow to be a better person, 973 00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:40,640 Speaker 1: you know, individually and also together. But if you felt 974 00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:43,360 Speaker 1: like something was missing a little bit there at some point, 975 00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:46,319 Speaker 1: what made you say yes to him in the first place, Well, 976 00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:50,040 Speaker 1: because it was when he proposed to me. I already 977 00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:53,239 Speaker 1: did see myself spending the rest of my life with him, 978 00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:56,759 Speaker 1: But it was also the pressure I felt like, I 979 00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:59,560 Speaker 1: think this is it. I was just confused also because 980 00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:01,880 Speaker 1: it was more on his end. I know I wanted 981 00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:04,239 Speaker 1: to be with him, I know I was happy with him, 982 00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:07,040 Speaker 1: but I was just unsure and I didn't have the 983 00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:09,080 Speaker 1: full trust that I wanted. But that was also a 984 00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:10,680 Speaker 1: lack of something like am I going to pull it 985 00:49:10,719 --> 00:49:13,400 Speaker 1: together after you're married? And it was just, you know 986 00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:17,960 Speaker 1: this because I didn't trust on you know. I think 987 00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:21,359 Speaker 1: that's where I felt the confusion. But I loved him 988 00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:22,879 Speaker 1: and I would spend the rest of my life with him, 989 00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,279 Speaker 1: but he has to act right. But like that was 990 00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:28,040 Speaker 1: the only thing that I was like confused about. Other 991 00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:31,200 Speaker 1: than that, like we're so compatible. We enjoy the same things, 992 00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:33,480 Speaker 1: we believe in the same things. We love family, our 993 00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:36,000 Speaker 1: family loves each other. It was just it's per a 994 00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:38,360 Speaker 1: perfect situation. But the thing is every relationship is not 995 00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:40,520 Speaker 1: gonna be perfect. Every person you get with, there's always 996 00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:42,800 Speaker 1: going to be some kind of challenge. It just depends 997 00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:44,359 Speaker 1: on what battle you want to fight. You gotta choose 998 00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:47,319 Speaker 1: your battles. If this person has an alcoholic addiction or 999 00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:50,759 Speaker 1: a drug addiction, or you know, a weakness and scenarios, 1000 00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:52,480 Speaker 1: you have to figure out what those problems are and 1001 00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:54,160 Speaker 1: see if you can actually deal with it, because that's 1002 00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:56,520 Speaker 1: the battle you're gonna have to fight. So between us, 1003 00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:59,320 Speaker 1: it was more of him being too nice to girls 1004 00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:02,560 Speaker 1: to where it got confused as being flirtatious. And him 1005 00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:04,520 Speaker 1: being too nice to his boys were Okay, I guess 1006 00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:06,239 Speaker 1: I'll go out and drink with you guys when he 1007 00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:09,560 Speaker 1: knows he shouldn't. But now I feel like this situation 1008 00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:12,200 Speaker 1: allowed him to learn to say no. And you have 1009 00:50:12,280 --> 00:50:14,839 Speaker 1: to learn the power of the word no. It goes 1010 00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:16,520 Speaker 1: a long way. You have to be able to say 1011 00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:20,160 Speaker 1: no to things in life. And I feel like he's 1012 00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:22,440 Speaker 1: just grown so much and I've seen it and also 1013 00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:25,480 Speaker 1: like hearing it from you know, Tony Gaskin, someone that 1014 00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:28,000 Speaker 1: I completely trust, you know, talk and he looks out 1015 00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:29,480 Speaker 1: for me too, so it's not like he's just on 1016 00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:32,560 Speaker 1: dawn side. I feel like he wasn't fighting from me 1017 00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:36,200 Speaker 1: when when we leave her alone, what he told me, 1018 00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:39,040 Speaker 1: leave her alone, Bro, I'm fighting. I was like, bro, 1019 00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:43,200 Speaker 1: just go like, drop some Oh, I'm not fighting for you. Lean. 1020 00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:45,640 Speaker 1: Was there anything about yourself you had to change? And 1021 00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:47,279 Speaker 1: then we talked a lot about Dan and things he 1022 00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:49,719 Speaker 1: had to change, But what about yourself? I think that 1023 00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:52,720 Speaker 1: for me, the self love was a big part, because 1024 00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:55,160 Speaker 1: when you're getting into a relationship, you get so consumed 1025 00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:57,080 Speaker 1: in the other person where you forget to do things 1026 00:50:57,160 --> 00:51:00,440 Speaker 1: for yourself, and everything was just all about me and 1027 00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:03,279 Speaker 1: Donnie and don but I was also focusing on me, 1028 00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:06,359 Speaker 1: but so much more focused on trying to make it work. 1029 00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:10,000 Speaker 1: And sometimes we are brains. We think about the potential 1030 00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:13,719 Speaker 1: instead of the reality of things of our relationship. But 1031 00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:15,879 Speaker 1: I feel that for me, I really wanted to work on, 1032 00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:19,200 Speaker 1: you know, self love, and I feel like now I 1033 00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:21,319 Speaker 1: feel like I know my worth more, I know what 1034 00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:24,520 Speaker 1: I want to settle for, I know what I deserve. Before, 1035 00:51:24,760 --> 00:51:27,000 Speaker 1: like I said, when I got was on, I already 1036 00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:29,160 Speaker 1: kind of knew the situation I was getting into, but 1037 00:51:29,239 --> 00:51:32,000 Speaker 1: I was just I'm single, and we'll see where this goes. 1038 00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:34,719 Speaker 1: And then we start wanting more and then hoping that 1039 00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:37,719 Speaker 1: it would be this and trying to create something that 1040 00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:41,720 Speaker 1: I saw in my head, but it wasn't the reality because, 1041 00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:45,400 Speaker 1: you know, don situations like his whole upbringing everything his 1042 00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:48,040 Speaker 1: habits was not aligning with mine. That's why I think 1043 00:51:48,040 --> 00:51:50,440 Speaker 1: it's so important to come in whole as a person 1044 00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:52,799 Speaker 1: and him coming in whole so we can be whold together, 1045 00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:55,560 Speaker 1: rather than me being whole on him being half empty 1046 00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:58,960 Speaker 1: and I gotta contribute to him. It's exhausting. So I 1047 00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:02,839 Speaker 1: feel like I've just grown so much where individually as 1048 00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:04,759 Speaker 1: a person to love myself more. And I think that's 1049 00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:07,239 Speaker 1: what was lacking. Well good and now he's the best 1050 00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:11,400 Speaker 1: selling author and guys back together better than ever. So 1051 00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:15,160 Speaker 1: congratulations and a way with all this women, thank you. No, 1052 00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:22,799 Speaker 1: I'm a guide and looking about a friend, she's saying 1053 00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:26,880 Speaker 1: that we owe the friend that thank you. I mean, honestly, 1054 00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:31,840 Speaker 1: you know everything it sucks because everything happens for a reason. 1055 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,439 Speaker 1: Everybody's leeing our life for a reason. And as much 1056 00:52:34,440 --> 00:52:36,799 Speaker 1: as like we can hate somebody in a situation or 1057 00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:40,200 Speaker 1: you know, whatever the case is. Yeah, it's so weird 1058 00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:43,520 Speaker 1: because I don't even I don't hate her. It's weird 1059 00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:46,200 Speaker 1: when you come from a place of just I forgive you. 1060 00:52:46,239 --> 00:52:48,279 Speaker 1: I know you know you're broken when you want to 1061 00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:51,640 Speaker 1: send the person is broken. It was just like the 1062 00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:54,560 Speaker 1: people that talk bad about you, it's not about you, 1063 00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:56,960 Speaker 1: it's about them. There reflect what they are. Thank you 1064 00:52:56,960 --> 00:53:00,560 Speaker 1: you made us go harder for us. Thank you didn't work, 1065 00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:06,080 Speaker 1: your plan didn't work right with was stronger now. And 1066 00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:07,920 Speaker 1: I don't like I think that it's so bad to 1067 00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:10,439 Speaker 1: walk with unforgiveness and hate in your heart. I think 1068 00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:13,720 Speaker 1: that it's poison. It just makes you a horrible person. 1069 00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:17,040 Speaker 1: So when you hate on somebody or talk to about somebody, 1070 00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:19,520 Speaker 1: it doesn't make you better, it doesn't. You know, it's 1071 00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:22,480 Speaker 1: I feel like it's a toxic thing to do, man. 1072 00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:26,560 Speaker 1: I mean, that's how you entertaining that somebody trying to 1073 00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:32,680 Speaker 1: steady man. So that's why I think, you know, it's funny. 1074 00:53:32,719 --> 00:53:34,440 Speaker 1: I was doing so much research and talking to tell 1075 00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:37,000 Speaker 1: you ask us about why men cheat. He has. He 1076 00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:40,520 Speaker 1: explained so much about Don's situation where he his upbringing 1077 00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:45,120 Speaker 1: really affected his choices today. And also like their insecurities 1078 00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:48,800 Speaker 1: and sometimes it just strokes their ego. When women still 1079 00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:51,040 Speaker 1: like approach them, they like that it makes them feel 1080 00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:57,720 Speaker 1: more of a man so about what they do. Because 1081 00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:01,680 Speaker 1: and you feel like, once your dad admitted to you 1082 00:54:01,760 --> 00:54:03,719 Speaker 1: that he cheated, that you kind of had a doubt 1083 00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:05,839 Speaker 1: in the back of your mind now and may cheat 1084 00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:08,600 Speaker 1: because in your idea of a perfect marriage, it would 1085 00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:11,680 Speaker 1: have been your parents, right, They've been together forever, you've 1086 00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:14,080 Speaker 1: seen them, been totally in love. So do you feel 1087 00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:15,920 Speaker 1: like once you found out he cheated, then you kind 1088 00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:17,560 Speaker 1: of got something in the back of you had to 1089 00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:20,759 Speaker 1: be cautious. So when my dad told me that, I mean, 1090 00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:23,280 Speaker 1: it's so funny. When I moved out here, I really 1091 00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:26,880 Speaker 1: my mind. I was, well, I'm from Adustal, California, in 1092 00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:29,000 Speaker 1: a small city, and I was in a Christian school, 1093 00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:30,680 Speaker 1: Like I was such in a bubble. So moving to 1094 00:54:30,840 --> 00:54:33,080 Speaker 1: l A was a reality check, Like, oh my god, 1095 00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:36,280 Speaker 1: people out here really really cheating and lyning and using 1096 00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:39,720 Speaker 1: people and it's just crazy. And because I equal cheating 1097 00:54:39,760 --> 00:54:43,359 Speaker 1: to killing, like that's murder to me. So I when 1098 00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:45,480 Speaker 1: he cheated on me, it was just so much like 1099 00:54:45,680 --> 00:54:48,120 Speaker 1: I can't believe he did it. But when my dad 1100 00:54:48,160 --> 00:54:51,719 Speaker 1: told me he did that, um, it just made me 1101 00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:55,000 Speaker 1: feel like, man, does every guy cheating now like my 1102 00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:57,640 Speaker 1: dad did? Then? Like is this everyone? Is this something 1103 00:54:57,640 --> 00:55:01,239 Speaker 1: that we all experience? And at the same time, I 1104 00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:04,719 Speaker 1: don't believe that every man does cheat. I feel that, um, 1105 00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:07,239 Speaker 1: a lot of people do. It's just about how you 1106 00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:10,440 Speaker 1: grow from it. But I felt like it kind of 1107 00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:13,480 Speaker 1: gave me some kind of comfort to knowing that I'm 1108 00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:16,479 Speaker 1: not the only one that's going through it. And it's 1109 00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:19,080 Speaker 1: it's amazing to me though now that I've because all 1110 00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:21,879 Speaker 1: of our content has always been happy and family and 1111 00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:25,600 Speaker 1: love and now talking about the heartbreak and crying in 1112 00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:28,160 Speaker 1: front of camera, not being afraid to be vulnerable to 1113 00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:33,200 Speaker 1: my audience. It opened up another hole. There's ask me 1114 00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:36,919 Speaker 1: advice and Dawn advice and I love now. I love 1115 00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:40,239 Speaker 1: being a part of the conversation helping them. So I 1116 00:55:40,280 --> 00:55:42,799 Speaker 1: think that if this is the purpose for us to 1117 00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:46,640 Speaker 1: go through this, you know. Yeah, and you have a 1118 00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:48,480 Speaker 1: you have a podcast right that just when I make 1119 00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:51,759 Speaker 1: sure we plug that. Well, I'm I've just started. I've 1120 00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:54,759 Speaker 1: been alive yet, but I'm starting up podcasts and it's 1121 00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:57,839 Speaker 1: called Lovers and Friends. So we're talking about love, relationship, 1122 00:55:57,920 --> 00:56:02,000 Speaker 1: friendships and just you know, surviving, you know, life experiences 1123 00:56:02,280 --> 00:56:05,840 Speaker 1: and the things that I've been through. So don you 1124 00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:11,400 Speaker 1: have club Bed club Bed? Yeah, clothing on the market, 1125 00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:16,279 Speaker 1: home goods as well. Yeah, there was a real there 1126 00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:19,120 Speaker 1: was a real club in New York club Bed and 1127 00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:24,440 Speaker 1: the Miami and Miami. Yeah, but yeah, club there's something 1128 00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:28,799 Speaker 1: different for you that is a luxury brand. Yeah, we 1129 00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:31,279 Speaker 1: all wear a side small. I'm gonna send you guys. 1130 00:56:33,000 --> 00:56:35,640 Speaker 1: I'll see you guys all some what was that you 1131 00:56:35,719 --> 00:56:39,920 Speaker 1: have stuff for the house, you said, betting we got candles. 1132 00:56:40,719 --> 00:56:44,719 Speaker 1: I want to see that stuff. Yeah, we have the 1133 00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:47,319 Speaker 1: candles now that betting is in production, so but I'll 1134 00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:48,799 Speaker 1: get you guys a bunch of all that stuff for 1135 00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:52,040 Speaker 1: smore So, we kind of grass guys, and it was 1136 00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:54,600 Speaker 1: really nice to hear this. Like you know, everything is 1137 00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:56,640 Speaker 1: not always smooth and not a straight path. So we 1138 00:56:56,680 --> 00:56:59,000 Speaker 1: do appreciate you all for being so open and sharing 1139 00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:01,520 Speaker 1: everything with us, and we look forward to everything you 1140 00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:05,160 Speaker 1: had in the future for sure. Thank you guys, Thank 1141 00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:10,080 Speaker 1: you guys. Please get married, don't break up, he said, 1142 00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:14,000 Speaker 1: we won't. I can't wait to see the ring, that 1143 00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:18,560 Speaker 1: big old ring, and yeah, yeah, yes, I can't wait 1144 00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:20,760 Speaker 1: to see it. I'd love to see it. Well, thank 1145 00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:23,520 Speaker 1: you so much. It's a lost service. Ly V and Benjamin. 1146 00:57:23,560 --> 00:57:27,280 Speaker 1: We appreciate y'all. Thank you for by