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Speaker 1: Nikki guys, Yes, Nikki, Hello, how's it going out? Their besties?

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, getting so many messages from different listeners

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Speaker 1: of the show who I call my besties because I

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Speaker 1: feel like I talked to you guys like my best friends,

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Speaker 1: just filling you in because some people are like, stop

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Speaker 1: with the bestie thing, and I think that was in

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Speaker 1: the beginning. People are like, bestie makes me sick, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I like it and we're keeping it and

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Speaker 1: if you don't want to be one, you don't have to. Um,

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Speaker 1: but I do talk to you guys like my best friends.

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Speaker 1: And uh. Someone wrote to me and was like and

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Speaker 1: just said that and was like, I honestly feel like

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Speaker 1: you're my friend. Um And I said back to her,

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Speaker 1: I honestly am because uh yeah, I'm not bullshitting you

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Speaker 1: when I say that I'm more honest in this than

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Speaker 1: I am in pretty much any aspect of my life. Whack,

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Speaker 1: that's not true, but like truly, um yeah, you guys

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Speaker 1: get more of me than my best friends do. At

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Speaker 1: this point, I've been doing this thing where I um,

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Speaker 1: hey no, uh, by the way, I've been doing this

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Speaker 1: thing where um I she just waved at me. I

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Speaker 1: make uh podcasts for my friends. Um. I've been doing

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Speaker 1: it for years now, my best friends, and I recommend

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Speaker 1: it to anyone out there who has these friends where

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Speaker 1: you're like, when we see each other, it's just like

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Speaker 1: no time has passed, you know, that whole thing where

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Speaker 1: you don't have to talk every day, but then when

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Speaker 1: you almost don't want to call them because there's so

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Speaker 1: much fucking ship to catch up on. So a fun

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Speaker 1: way to process your feelings. And I've talked about this before.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll do a podcast to like no one you know,

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Speaker 1: or do a person that I might you know, I

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Speaker 1: might never even hear it. I don't even think they'll

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Speaker 1: hear it. But a good thing to do is I

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Speaker 1: had a bunch of stuff happened in my life that

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Speaker 1: all my high school friends and like these girls that

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Speaker 1: I often have on girls trips, Uh who you'll hear

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Speaker 1: it that when we do collection of couse you hear

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Speaker 1: all their I says at the beginning of that. But um,

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Speaker 1: I uh, I used. I had like a bunch of

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Speaker 1: stories happened, and I was like, God, I gotta talk

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Speaker 1: to every single one of them and tell them this

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Speaker 1: epic tale. And it's just not gonna happen. So I

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Speaker 1: decided to make a podcast about like a four partern

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Speaker 1: series about my story and like knowing full well like

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Speaker 1: they have families and lives and jobs. Some have jobs,

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Speaker 1: but that they might have busy lives where they don't

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Speaker 1: want to listen to me talk about my life where

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Speaker 1: I think I'm more interesting than them because I'm like

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Speaker 1: in Hollywood, which is not what I think. But I'm

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Speaker 1: scared they'll think that I think that because I'm making

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Speaker 1: a podcast anyway, I tell them, like, if you're bored,

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Speaker 1: listen to this, I'll make it entertaining. And I make

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Speaker 1: a little podcast for my friends. Um and that's just

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Speaker 1: stuff I can't I would talk about on here, and

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Speaker 1: I will someday when there's like, you know, more space.

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Speaker 1: But um and I you know, I fashion egg the

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Speaker 1: hell out of all the stuff I tell them to

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Speaker 1: you guys, so you'll you'll realize that you know it

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Speaker 1: all already as well. But um yeah, I like making

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Speaker 1: podcasts for friends, and um and I recommend you do

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Speaker 1: it for yours and just go, like, you know, if

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Speaker 1: you have like a couple of girlfriends from college that

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Speaker 1: you don't communicate with anymore. Just put them on an

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Speaker 1: email and do an audio message on your phone when

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Speaker 1: you're walking your dog and just bang and it helps

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Speaker 1: you process the story that you're telling anyway, and then

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Speaker 1: just send it to four friends and be like, listen

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Speaker 1: if you guys, if you want to jump in on this,

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Speaker 1: make a podcast episode for me. So, my best friend

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Speaker 1: Catherine and I have been doing podcasts forever, and she's like,

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Speaker 1: and that's how we mostly communicate, is like ten minutes

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Speaker 1: we keep underneath ten minutes because just kinder that way.

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Speaker 1: I can't do that on this show. And then we

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Speaker 1: just send them off and uh, it's just so fun.

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Speaker 1: I was even thinking about making it like a a

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Speaker 1: podcast in and of itself of me and my best

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Speaker 1: friend like talking about our lives, and she's talking about

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Speaker 1: our marriage and having kids and like these really personal issues,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, how can I get this out there

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Speaker 1: for the public and turn this into something that will

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Speaker 1: I'm like, she probably has to die first, but then

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't which I don't want her to die, but

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Speaker 1: like if posthumously, I could be like, oh, I'll put

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Speaker 1: this out. You know, Anne Frank probably wouldn't have allowed

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Speaker 1: her diary to be published unless they just did it

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Speaker 1: without asking, like I've always wondered, like, um, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: I'm glad. Anne Frank wrote things in her diary that

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Speaker 1: weren't humiliating. But if anyone published my diary, I mean

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Speaker 1: no one would. I didn't say things like I believe

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Speaker 1: humanity is good. I said things like sitting next to

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Speaker 1: Ricky in class today and he had a scab on

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Speaker 1: his knee that I wanted to pick, Like it's like ship.

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Speaker 1: Like that was in my diary. And I probably didn't

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Speaker 1: even write that my diary because the fact that I

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Speaker 1: wanted to pick scabs and things like that I was

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Speaker 1: very ashamed of. I thought it was really weird until

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Speaker 1: I found my best friend Kristen. And Uh, one day

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Speaker 1: in fourth grade, I found my best friend Kirsten because

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Speaker 1: I loved picking things and not scabs so much. But

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Speaker 1: you guys get it, um awards. UH didn't didn't know

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Speaker 1: it at the time. Um, But one time I was

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Speaker 1: walking past her desk in fourth grade and I didn't

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Speaker 1: know this girl. She ended up being my best friend

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Speaker 1: later on. But UM, I looked inside her desk and

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Speaker 1: she had a Crayola UM box of crayons and on

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Speaker 1: it had little dollops of glue. I think I've told

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Speaker 1: this before on the show, and I apologize. I told

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Speaker 1: on some podcast dollops of glue, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: what is that bitch doing in that desk? Like whoever

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Speaker 1: sits at that desk is on the same ship. I'm onto,

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Speaker 1: like I want to pick glue, dried glue if that's

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Speaker 1: what she's doing. And that was what she was doing,

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Speaker 1: and I felt so less alone that this other person

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Speaker 1: and this weird thing. And that's what the internet is now, right,

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Speaker 1: Like whatever weird thing you're into, you can find other

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Speaker 1: people that are into it, and it makes you feel

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Speaker 1: less weird because how many Like we should do a

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Speaker 1: segment on the show of like stuff you thought made

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Speaker 1: you weird and you wouldn't share with anyone, and then

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Speaker 1: you realized like it was very very common, or that

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Speaker 1: there was a community of people. I mean, isn't that everything?

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Speaker 1: I don't. I mean, people are gonna write and be

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Speaker 1: like I was attracted to children. It's like not that

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Speaker 1: one buddy, um, but yeah, what I mean that that's

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Speaker 1: a whole other But but there are people on the

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Speaker 1: internet that have that same interests as well, and it's um.

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Speaker 1: One fifth of people, by the way, consume child pornography.

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Speaker 1: That's a real stat one fifth of Americans general population one.

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Speaker 1: It's terrifying. Listen to UH if you want, If you

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Speaker 1: want some recommendations of podcasts so you have information about

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Speaker 1: child sex abuse UM in the United States, and it

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Speaker 1: will open your eyes and scare you. UH. Look no

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Speaker 1: further than d m ng me UM. Today was a

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Speaker 1: great morning. I went to Starbucks. Oh, this is embarrassing now, Okay,

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Speaker 1: So my morning ritual is I used to this one.

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Speaker 1: I used to be my morning ritual. I wake up

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Speaker 1: and then I meditate for twenty minutes. I brush my

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Speaker 1: teeth so I don't have a gross taste in my mouth.

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Speaker 1: I go back to bed, I sit up straight, and

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Speaker 1: I meditate for twenty minutes, and then I go and

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Speaker 1: I begin my day and then I that used to

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Speaker 1: be when I did them serious show every morning in

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Speaker 1: New York had to be at work by ten, woke up, meditated, UH,

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Speaker 1: cleaned up all the candy rappers in my bed of

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Speaker 1: the things I had eaten the night before, acting like,

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Speaker 1: oh I'm I'm healthy because I meditate, and then I

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Speaker 1: would uh go get a latte, not eat breakfast like

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Speaker 1: an idiot, and then, um, but I always felt so

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Speaker 1: good about meditating the morning. Now my ritual does not

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Speaker 1: include meditation, and that's good because guess what, meditation can

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Speaker 1: come and go. I'm not feeling bad about not meditating

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Speaker 1: because whoever started meditation? You know, meditation is not about

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Speaker 1: feeling bad if you're doing it, or feeling bad if

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Speaker 1: you're like doing it wrong, or even if you're not

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Speaker 1: doing it. That's why I love meditation. If you don't

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Speaker 1: want to meditate, it's almost like that's it. That's fine, man,

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Speaker 1: It's waiting for you when you come back. It's not

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Speaker 1: like the gym where you're like, I feel beautifully didn't go,

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Speaker 1: So I don't meditate right now. Could use some because

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Speaker 1: I'm all over the place. But uh, this morning, I

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Speaker 1: woke up, pulled Luigi into bed, forced him to cuddle

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Speaker 1: with me. Wasn't feeling it, but you know, um, he

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Speaker 1: got into it as soon as I started whispering sweet

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Speaker 1: nothings about treats into his ear. Oh, his ears just

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Speaker 1: perked up. I'm sorry, let me do that was a

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Speaker 1: false alarm. We went for a w okay, because I

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Speaker 1: can't say walk. We went for because he's in the room.

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Speaker 1: We went for a casual stroll with his leash. Even

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Speaker 1: that words a buzzword. And then we went to Starbucks.

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Speaker 1: As I'm walking into Starbucks and what I see This

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Speaker 1: beautiful woman out front, like model esque, just gorgeous hair,

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Speaker 1: gorgeous skin, and she's holding a baby, like probably a

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Speaker 1: four or five month old baby. She has a toddler

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Speaker 1: that's like toddling around, beautiful toeheaded kid toehad beans, like

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Speaker 1: bright blonde hair right yes, and she's holding this baby

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Speaker 1: to her like cheek and just like just there. It

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Speaker 1: looks like they're just like you know, beat mother baby

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Speaker 1: cheek and the baby is just like a little smush

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Speaker 1: And it was beautiful lighting. And I like street photography

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Speaker 1: a lot. I like taking pictures of strangers. I do

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Speaker 1: it all the time. It's a really good indication if

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Speaker 1: I'm in a good state of mental health is if

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Speaker 1: I start seeing like beauty in the world and I

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Speaker 1: want to take pictures, but you know, it's it's a

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Speaker 1: little bit Harry taking pictures of strangers. They might see it.

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Speaker 1: I have a whole system where people don't think I'm

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Speaker 1: doing it. And the fun thing about street photography is

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Speaker 1: you don't know what you're gonna get until you look later.

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Speaker 1: It's almost like waitressing. I used to love waitressing because

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Speaker 1: you never knew what the tip was going to be

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Speaker 1: until after they left, and you're like, what are we

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Speaker 1: gonna get? And with taking street photography, when I walk

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Speaker 1: by people and I take pictures, I don't look at

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Speaker 1: my phone until later because I'm doing it um like private.

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Speaker 1: I'm doing it sneakily, and then later on I'll show

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Speaker 1: it to them if I can, if I know them,

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Speaker 1: and be like, hey, can I post this? This is beautiful?

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Speaker 1: But if not, I just hope for the best and hope.

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Speaker 1: And I'm gonna start a fake Instagram account because I

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Speaker 1: used to do street photography all the time on my

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Speaker 1: Insta Graham account. If you go back to two thousand,

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Speaker 1: twelve eleven ten, like really scroll far on my Instagram,

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Speaker 1: you'll see all my street photography. It's all I used

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Speaker 1: to do on there, and I'm pretty damn good. I

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Speaker 1: used to do subway shots. I really I think I

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Speaker 1: might start a separate account for all of my street

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Speaker 1: photography so that I can get away with it. Because

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Speaker 1: if you. Just if you are comedian doing street photography,

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Speaker 1: people go that person didn't know you're to keep a

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Speaker 1: picture of them. That's an invision of privacy. But if

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Speaker 1: you have an account that street photography, people are like,

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Speaker 1: that's really cool. That should be in notional geographic So anyway,

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Speaker 1: I took a picture of this woman and then she goes,

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Speaker 1: are you Nikki? And I was like, and I had

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Speaker 1: my EarPods air pods in which have noise canceling, which,

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Speaker 1: by the way, you can't hear fucking jack ship with

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Speaker 1: these air these new air pods with noise canceling. How

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Speaker 1: do you turn the goddamn noise canceling off? I know

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Speaker 1: it's on my phone, but I went an easier way.

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Speaker 1: She goes, are you Nicki. I saw her mouth and

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Speaker 1: I go, yes, I probably screamed it because noise canceling. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and uh, she goes, I did your hair and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh my god. And she was this girl

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Speaker 1: that did my hair in back in February, and she

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Speaker 1: was massively pregnant with the baby that she's mushing on

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Speaker 1: her face at the time. So I took this picture

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Speaker 1: of this woman. I haven't even looked at the picture,

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Speaker 1: yet I want to see how good it is. She

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Speaker 1: was like, I don't If it's good, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: send it to her and see if she wants it.

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Speaker 1: But it's so funny that I was like taking a

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Speaker 1: picture of this woman thinking it's the most beautiful. Oh

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Speaker 1: it's pretty good. Oh my god, it's so good. And

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Speaker 1: this is her staring at me. Oh my god. This

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Speaker 1: is the second she caught me and goes, is this

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Speaker 1: NICKI noah, look, wow, isn't that so funny? The look

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Speaker 1: at the baby's face is like, literally, the baby looks

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Speaker 1: like worried. She's staring at me and doesn't know that

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Speaker 1: I'm taking a picture of her. Adults, great shot, thanks

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Speaker 1: um so. But the funny thing is the baby. I go,

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Speaker 1: look at this baby. The second it locked eyes with me,

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Speaker 1: it's face turned into like the like almost the crying emoji,

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Speaker 1: like the laughing crying emoji, but without the tears or

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Speaker 1: like the jovial nous of it. It just its face

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Speaker 1: scrunched up and was like like disgusted. It was so

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Speaker 1: funny that a baby looked in my eyes and had

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Speaker 1: peered discussed, And it was probably because I was wearing

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Speaker 1: the new ear or the old earrings that Andrew got me,

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Speaker 1: just kidding. I hadn't put them in yet. We just

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Speaker 1: put up a poll on Instagram. Andrew and I were

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Speaker 1: eating breakfast, and uh, he was like, put on the

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Speaker 1: ear rings that I got you and I put him

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Speaker 1: in and I honestly I love them. I'm kind of

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Speaker 1: into them. And no, I want to talk about it

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Speaker 1: with Andrew in the room. Let's get him in here. Andrew,

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Speaker 1: how do you sleep last night? I slept good, Nick,

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Speaker 1: I slept real good. We did get yelled at in

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Speaker 1: Instagram on my Instagram, so we did the video of

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Speaker 1: reach with her spoon or you did that impression, A

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Speaker 1: great impression of reach with We didn't even see it

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Speaker 1: on the Morning Show. Oh my god, I can't. We're

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Speaker 1: watching the Morning Show, We're watching Friends, We're watching a

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Speaker 1: lot of hacks. I just want to give our listeners

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Speaker 1: an update of all the shows that I'm consuming and

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Speaker 1: a Bachelorette. I want you guys all to get into

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Speaker 1: these shows as well if you can, because we're gonna

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Speaker 1: be referencing them a lot. But the Morning Show, which

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Speaker 1: you thought was like a new show, I thought it

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Speaker 1: came out three days ago. I thought we were onto

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Speaker 1: something here, and I wrote Morning Shows is on fire

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Speaker 1: or something, and everyone's like, you're three years too late. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's ridiculous. How did you not? I mean,

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Speaker 1: this whole shows it's not over. But Andrew don't even

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Speaker 1: choke about me too being over. No. Um, it's a

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Speaker 1: really fascinating show. I can't believe it. I thought it

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Speaker 1: was probably a B minus because it has such a

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Speaker 1: stellar cast that I can't couldn't believe that I wasn't

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Speaker 1: hearing about it constantly if it was good. That's why

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Speaker 1: I thought it was new, because right, you didn't hear

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Speaker 1: about it that much. But it's so good Anniston is.

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Speaker 1: It's so fun to watch the first season of Friends,

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Speaker 1: where we saw Anniston emerge on the scene, and even

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Speaker 1: though she had been in many things before and been

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Speaker 1: a working actress for years, but to see her first

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Speaker 1: thing she did in her career that we all knew of.

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Speaker 1: And then besides Leprechner con and then Good Girl, that

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Speaker 1: was dude, that was like two thousand six? What about it?

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Speaker 1: But I'm saying, like that wasn't I'm saying lepricn was

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Speaker 1: before Friends. Oh, I didn't know that Yeah, she did.

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Speaker 1: Friends started probably filmed it in four but um, so,

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Speaker 1: uh we're watching Friends and now we're watching Um Morning Show,

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Speaker 1: which is the bookends of her kind of Sometimes when

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Speaker 1: that happens, sometimes I like to think that she just

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Speaker 1: grew in, like that's she became Rachel Green turned into

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Speaker 1: Alex Leavey. Yeah, it's really annoys me that the two

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Speaker 1: main characters of the Morning Show, the two female characters

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Speaker 1: are Alex and Bradley. It's like it just seems intentional

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Speaker 1: and like annoying to me. Yeah, it seems like and

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Speaker 1: Corey is a primary kind of thing. No, I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's just just like I think, I just I want

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Speaker 1: to know she's a girl. I'm just kidding. I don't care,

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Speaker 1: but I just think it was just like kind of care. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's so many fucking things on the Morning Show. What

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Speaker 1: did we get yelled at about? Well, I mean, so

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Speaker 1: I did an impression of Race Witherswind's character who she's

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Speaker 1: just like a monkey girl who has an ex talking

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Speaker 1: to Jenny Aniston. Here do a do a do a

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Speaker 1: like a TV report where there someone got stuck in

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Speaker 1: a well, why don't you be um are produced? Why

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Speaker 1: don't you be Corey. Okay. So there's a sinister producer

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Speaker 1: character who is no, no, no, your Corey. Oh Corey, Yes,

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Speaker 1: played by uh Billy krutt Up, who we then watched

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Speaker 1: almost famous because we were on a crud up Like

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Speaker 1: do you know who Billy krud Up is? Noah, he's

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Speaker 1: so hot, he's an almost famous he played Russell and

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Speaker 1: almost flammous. I put him on My story last night.

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Speaker 1: This him and Kate Hudson locking eyes watching how I

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Speaker 1: know him? He was a great guitarist and still water

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Speaker 1: and now he's a producer and yeah, yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: he he hasn't had an illustrious career. This this uh

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Speaker 1: Corey from that is the head of U t A

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Speaker 1: or whatever the hell. So if you haven't watched the show,

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Speaker 1: the Morning Show is about a morning show like the

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Speaker 1: Today's Show. Uh you know, like what's his name from

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Speaker 1: the Office? Oh my god, Steve Carell's character from the

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Speaker 1: Office is actually a morning show host later on in

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Speaker 1: his life is anyone else? Okay? So after after he

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Speaker 1: left Scranton, um, uh, Michael Scott becomes a Matt Lower type.

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Speaker 1: So it's pretty much the story of like Matt Lower,

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Speaker 1: Matt Lower, if Matt Law and Katy Kirk back in

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Speaker 1: the day when they did the Today Show. There's this

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Speaker 1: couple that that isn't a couple. They're not dating, but

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Speaker 1: they do this show for many many years, more like

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Speaker 1: good Today Show. He gets me too. Overnight he's gone.

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Speaker 1: He's replaced by Reese Witherspoon, who's this like sassy girl

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Speaker 1: from kind of like a Fox News angle, but she's

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Speaker 1: not Fox News. She's just a truth tailor out there,

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Speaker 1: just like tail and the Truth and Corey the Sinister,

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Speaker 1: uh you know, executive of the NBC of their Today

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Speaker 1: Show is trying to get rid of Jennif Francon because

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Speaker 1: she's old and needs to be put out to pasture,

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Speaker 1: and he wants to bring in Reese. Well guess what.

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Speaker 1: Jennifer Aniston hijacks everything and says, guess what. Resaderspoon is

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Speaker 1: my new co anchor, and we're bringing her in. And

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Speaker 1: I know you loved her in election. She was a

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Speaker 1: sassy little high schooler then, but she grew up to

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Speaker 1: be a fun anchor and and legally but she also

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Speaker 1: has her she passed the bar and legally blonde, so

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Speaker 1: so this is reason with her students character. She's just

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Speaker 1: like and this is nothing again. First of all, everyone

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Speaker 1: in there acts very well. Everyone became a news caster.

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Speaker 1: Show is kind of because it's just like these archetypes

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Speaker 1: of like Jennifer Ranson's like the everything. Everyone in the

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Speaker 1: show for the first four episodes, by the way, is

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Speaker 1: constantly in a bad mood. There's like literally not what

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Speaker 1: I said it to Andrew because I was complaining because

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Speaker 1: he loves the show and I was being kind of

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Speaker 1: a brat about it, and I was like, everyone's everyone's

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Speaker 1: in a bad mood. And then I saw you go

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Speaker 1: well and then you go wait every single time. But

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Speaker 1: but I was saying that he met too. It is

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Speaker 1: like someone died. And then I asked you if your

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Speaker 1: father my god, Andrew post this question. No, this is

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Speaker 1: such an inct, very question. It's almost as good as

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Speaker 1: a question that I came up with that I was

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Speaker 1: really proud of. If you'd rather be two inches taller

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Speaker 1: and lose a half an inch of penis or have

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Speaker 1: to an inch of penis and become two inches shorter,

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Speaker 1: I'd rather just die die than even fathom that. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so what was your would you rather to be if

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Speaker 1: you found out your dad tomorrow? Would you rather find

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Speaker 1: out that your dad tomorrow was a rapist or that okay,

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Speaker 1: well that died. I'll answer this like um Alex Leavi's

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Speaker 1: character in um uh The Morning Show. Okay, well, here's

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Speaker 1: what I'd say to that. I am a strong woman

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Speaker 1: who can make up my mind, and I need whiskey

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Speaker 1: to get through the day, and I really don't know

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Speaker 1: my relationship with Okay, now, I'm just getting into a

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Speaker 1: character study. Um Okay. Honestly, though, I would probably want

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Speaker 1: my dad to die, because in both scenarios my dad

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Speaker 1: is dead. In one, he keeps to keep living and

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Speaker 1: I get to spend time with him. But my resentment

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Speaker 1: for him if I found out he was a rapist

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Speaker 1: would be so much that I would have no fun

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Speaker 1: times with him if he continued to live, so I

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Speaker 1: would kill him myself, I know, because then you have

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Speaker 1: to live with him essentially dying in public opinion for

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Speaker 1: more years at least. I mean, I just don't see

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Speaker 1: my dad would be. It would literally shake my world

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Speaker 1: so much. If my sweet father, who like I just

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Speaker 1: know and trust, has never done anything gross with women,

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Speaker 1: like I mean, besides that it kissing me on the

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Speaker 1: lips until the age of twenty six when I banned

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Speaker 1: it from ours. It's one of my oh my god,

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Speaker 1: I don't even want to get go into my act,

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Speaker 1: but that's one of my favorite jokes that I do

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Speaker 1: is that I say, my dad kissed me on the

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Speaker 1: lips until I was twenty six, and um, well, I

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Speaker 1: do a bunch of other stuff about it, but I go, uh,

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Speaker 1: I go. I I literally had to have a talk

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Speaker 1: with him and go, Dad, we can't do this, and

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Speaker 1: he goes, we kiss on the lips in this family,

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Speaker 1: and I go, well, then why don't you do it

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Speaker 1: to mom? I love that joke, but it's it's it's

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Speaker 1: that wasn't lightening when I picked up the phone on

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Speaker 1: air and said hey, hey Dad, and he goes, hey babe,

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Speaker 1: and you laughed at me and all of our listeners left.

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Speaker 1: Why do we get yelled at last night? Oh? Um,

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Speaker 1: back to that. So we left the cabinet door open

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Speaker 1: in the background. Oh shut up, I've never people get

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Speaker 1: mad about our chord situation underneath the TV too. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm never going to fix it people, I'm gonna open

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Speaker 1: all the cabinets. I keep that cabinets open. I don't

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Speaker 1: know why I do that. I think it makes me

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Speaker 1: feel like our you know, I don't know, I just don't.

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Speaker 1: I'm a d D. When I open a cabinet, I

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Speaker 1: don't close it. And uh, where do they got yelled

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Speaker 1: at by their dad? Do you remember when you were

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Speaker 1: in like school? No, I know you know this too,

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Speaker 1: and you would be that your teacher would erase the

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Speaker 1: board and they would miss a spot or a couple

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Speaker 1: of spots. They would do like a haphazard and it

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Speaker 1: would just naw on my But why does it non

425
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 1: people like in their childhood where the cabinet they didn't

426
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,399
Speaker 1: feel like they had enough control. They felt like there's

427
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:14,080
Speaker 1: there's moments that happened, traumatic moments that happen in your

428
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 1: childhood that you don't even know. And it could literally

429
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,760
Speaker 1: not be being molested or being beaten. It could be

430
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,680
Speaker 1: like your mom didn't hear you when you were crying

431
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,040
Speaker 1: because she had noise canceling air pods on or whatever,

432
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,439
Speaker 1: which did we we did, but like you know, you

433
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,280
Speaker 1: were crying in your crib a little bit too long

434
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 1: and that for whatever reason, and there might have been

435
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,160
Speaker 1: like a shadow from a bird flying by that might

436
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 1: have spooked you as an infant in a way that

437
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 1: that set off like a brain chemist, like your neurons

438
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 1: fired in a way that that's trauma that you hold

439
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,199
Speaker 1: onto and you don't even know what it is. And

440
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 1: so later on when you see a cabinet that's open,

441
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 1: it makes you feel unsafe, like there's some parents were

442
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 1: just insanely tidy about chores and they just every little

443
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,920
Speaker 1: thing like that. And I think a lot of times

444
00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 1: it's from kids that came from like disgusting places, and

445
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,639
Speaker 1: so now out anything that is disgusting reminds them of

446
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,920
Speaker 1: the fact that their parents were like, you can't win,

447
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,000
Speaker 1: and then you can't win. Honestly, you can know either

448
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,919
Speaker 1: of you. You know, you know the only way you

449
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:16,159
Speaker 1: can win. Having Bob sagg it. So we don't do

450
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 1: a lot of guests around these parts, as you know.

451
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:23,439
Speaker 1: But um, we got a call and said that and

452
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:25,399
Speaker 1: I heard Bob Saga was interested in being on the show.

453
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,680
Speaker 1: I love Bob Saget. He's one of my dear friends. Honestly,

454
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,919
Speaker 1: he's one of my friends. That's a wild thing that

455
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 1: I get to say. I truly think that he he's

456
00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:39,320
Speaker 1: He's nice to everyone, and everyone feels like they're friends.

457
00:22:39,359 --> 00:22:42,160
Speaker 1: With Bob saggett um, because he does have a podcast

458
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 1: called Bob Sagett Is Here for You. And it's just

459
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 1: that's the essence of Bob Saget is that he's like

460
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:50,040
Speaker 1: this father figure. I grew up watching Full House. I

461
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,680
Speaker 1: grew up just with a dad that was very much

462
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:57,200
Speaker 1: like Bob Saget in that way that's emotionally available, but

463
00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:00,639
Speaker 1: it always like, just love me as much as Danny

464
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,800
Speaker 1: tanner Um. And then I grew up and I met

465
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 1: Bob Saggat and he is just as wonderful, and so

466
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:11,720
Speaker 1: we're gonna bring him into the show now. Bob Saga, Hello, Hello, dear,

467
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:17,240
Speaker 1: Oh god, do I miss you when I don't see you? Well,

468
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,880
Speaker 1: we can't see you right now. Your your videos off? Yeah,

469
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:21,679
Speaker 1: I know it's on. I just had to hit a

470
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 1: button and uh yeah, you get it. I mean you

471
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:27,439
Speaker 1: still haven't hit it yet, but I know everything, you know.

472
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 1: I just want to see you. I want to see

473
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:31,879
Speaker 1: you so bad, and I don't know why you don't.

474
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:36,840
Speaker 1: Hold on, Hold on there. Bob Saga is here for us.

475
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 1: Bob Sage Is Here for You is the name of

476
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:44,159
Speaker 1: his podcast. You know him as a comedian, actor, director, um,

477
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 1: I know him as a friend, uh Bob sag and

478
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to have you on as our first

479
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:54,720
Speaker 1: official like comedian friend guest on the Nicky Gleazer Podcast. Welcome.

480
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:56,960
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. That was such a long intro.

481
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,119
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you an answer that as equally

482
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,280
Speaker 1: as long. Nicky, I love you so much. You are

483
00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 1: such a good friend. I can't believe I'm the first

484
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 1: person on here. I want to borrow some bitcoin from you.

485
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,360
Speaker 1: First of all, this is Andrew Colin. I you guys

486
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:11,159
Speaker 1: have met when you've been in my studio for the

487
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 1: Serious Show, but he is my best friend and roommate.

488
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 1: I know. I've seen everything on Instagram and it's just

489
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:19,679
Speaker 1: it's it's more than not enough. I need more. I

490
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:22,280
Speaker 1: can't get enough of you two together. And he is

491
00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:25,120
Speaker 1: the same with you and your wife. I've loved you

492
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:31,920
Speaker 1: with the quarantine content, with you guys doing the tiktoky down.

493
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:35,119
Speaker 1: She goes, I have a new dish with Peas. I go, well,

494
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 1: I like Peas, Okay, what's your idea? And then next

495
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:41,000
Speaker 1: thing I know, I'm dancing and changing clothes and putting

496
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,440
Speaker 1: on a rubber mustache. I thought I was just gonna

497
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,120
Speaker 1: have peas. How does that go down? Bob? I want

498
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 1: to know as the as the husband of a wife

499
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 1: who is very active with making content for TikTok and Instagram,

500
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 1: which is like, you gotta follow Kelly on those things.

501
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:02,360
Speaker 1: Isn't it Kelly travel? It's eat travel Rock, Eat Travel

502
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:07,119
Speaker 1: Rock is Kelly Uh? Bob Sagett's wife's Instagram account and

503
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:10,439
Speaker 1: she puts up hilarious videos and just shares good food

504
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 1: and just like fun stuff, a great following everyone. I

505
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,800
Speaker 1: wouldn't know what it's like being the husband of that though,

506
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,120
Speaker 1: where it's like you see a shot getting set up,

507
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 1: you know something's gonna happen. Does she warn you, like

508
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,360
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need you to be a part of this.

509
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:25,960
Speaker 1: Does she kind of just like set it up and

510
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,719
Speaker 1: then throw you into it? Are you weakending it? In

511
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 1: a situation? She just builds everything around my corpse? How

512
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:46,119
Speaker 1: long have you been dead? Bob? Years? Emotionally it was

513
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 1: probably right before Full House started and then, um no,

514
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 1: I was alive during that. I'm more alive now than ever,

515
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 1: I mean, and I believe Margene ended I triple got

516
00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:58,439
Speaker 1: out of my coffin and said it's time, you know,

517
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 1: let's let's be really me and we just got to

518
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:05,400
Speaker 1: see each other. Nickie, thanks the media. It is time

519
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,439
Speaker 1: to time to do to tell the Truth. Put on

520
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:14,120
Speaker 1: a mask tested just thinking about, Oh my god, that day.

521
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 1: That was so funny. That day we were on to

522
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:19,920
Speaker 1: Tell the Truth together for one episode of back in December,

523
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 1: and I remember there was some huge news headline and

524
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 1: you go, how about it Supreme Court And I go yeah,

525
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 1: and you're like right, And I was like, I don't

526
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,920
Speaker 1: know what you're talking about. And he was like, how

527
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,200
Speaker 1: have you not looked at your It was something I forget.

528
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,239
Speaker 1: I think it was like Biden one and you were

529
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:41,119
Speaker 1: like and I was like what. I was so embarrassed

530
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,200
Speaker 1: to not know the news that was on the tip

531
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,880
Speaker 1: of your tongue backstage. Biden did not win in December,

532
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,680
Speaker 1: although according to some people he did and then lost

533
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,639
Speaker 1: in January. I don't know what to believe. It was

534
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,280
Speaker 1: odd that we didn't know what was going on in

535
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,360
Speaker 1: the world, or you didn't or I kind of did,

536
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:58,400
Speaker 1: and yet we were on a show called to Tell

537
00:26:58,480 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 1: the Truth. That is That show is wild and uh,

538
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,760
Speaker 1: I love doing it because you get to be on

539
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,119
Speaker 1: with you get to meet new celebrities that you would

540
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 1: never get to hang out with, and then you get

541
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 1: to also hang out with people. I was so excited

542
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 1: when you were on that show. I was excited to

543
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 1: be with you because you're You're funny and you're real

544
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 1: laugh same. I mean, I make myself laugh as well.

545
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,159
Speaker 1: I know you do, Bob. Were funny to hear you

546
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:25,960
Speaker 1: both lying right now we tell the truth. No, I

547
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:31,879
Speaker 1: don't believe it. This morning, Bob, I sent you what

548
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,679
Speaker 1: I sent my producer Noah and Andrew a clip of

549
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 1: yours this morning because I wanted them to understand how like,

550
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,400
Speaker 1: what what you were like when you first started doing

551
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:46,119
Speaker 1: stand up. This was the young I'm guessing it's the

552
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 1: Young Comedian special one that Rodney Dangerfield hosted was that

553
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,800
Speaker 1: it was God in Heaven. It was six and I

554
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 1: want to say five, and it was Rodney's very first

555
00:27:56,600 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 1: Young Comedian special with Sam Kennison and myself and Yah

556
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:04,000
Speaker 1: Cove and Louis Anderson and I had just had him

557
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,199
Speaker 1: on my podcast and we talked about it. Um do

558
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 1: you get frustrated that every person you know has a podcast?

559
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,240
Speaker 1: Does it get exhausting? Um? You know what I am

560
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:16,679
Speaker 1: I am now at the point in my life where

561
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 1: I can say no more like we're not doing this right.

562
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 1: I like, I I just go. I have I have

563
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 1: one every day. Having a podcast every day is probably why,

564
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,119
Speaker 1: um I have I do for a week you know,

565
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:34,960
Speaker 1: for the show. It's very That's my best excuse. You're

566
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,159
Speaker 1: basically doing a radio show in trunk. That's what I

567
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 1: wanted to do. And I just don't want to have

568
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 1: to do stand up every night to feel like I,

569
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:44,800
Speaker 1: you know, got my emotions out comedically. It's just it's

570
00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 1: it takes away me having to go to clubs every night,

571
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 1: and I feel like I got attention and that that

572
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,520
Speaker 1: that you know, the whole that we're trying to fill

573
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 1: in our soul of needing to be loved. But I

574
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 1: are you. You're on tour though, starting now right well,

575
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna start up the end of July as when

576
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:03,920
Speaker 1: my theater tour starts, and then I'm going to start

577
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,720
Speaker 1: going to clubs and working on material. I'm just you know,

578
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 1: who knows what's going to happen. It's just I'm very

579
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:10,680
Speaker 1: excited about it. But I'm also like, what do I

580
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 1: talk You're gonna be fine. I didn't know what to do.

581
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 1: I mean, of course you're gonna be fine, You're ni

582
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 1: no no, no, I'm saying I know just for myself,

583
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 1: but I do need to hear that from me, Bob.

584
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:23,120
Speaker 1: Thank you. Well. I just went out, I guess. I

585
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 1: started a month and a half ago, and I went

586
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 1: to places like I opened the hard Rock Atlantic City,

587
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 1: which is supposed to be seven thousand people, but it

588
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 1: was like under a thousand show and it felt really fun.

589
00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 1: And then I got used to it. And then I

590
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:37,840
Speaker 1: went to Dave chappelle summer camp in Ohio, which was

591
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:39,960
Speaker 1: we got to talk about that. That was so much.

592
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you gotta go, you gotta go. It's

593
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 1: just waiting for an invite, all right, I can, I

594
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 1: can do it. I'll do a text when we're done, honestly, yeah,

595
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:52,920
Speaker 1: let's before you do the text. I want. I do

596
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 1: want to like, well, the thing with we gotta get

597
00:29:56,400 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 1: to the news is second. I'm going to bring you in.

598
00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 1: But there's a couple of things I wanted to share

599
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 1: before I get to the Chappelle thing. First of all,

600
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 1: everyone needs We're going to post it on my on

601
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:08,440
Speaker 1: our story on the Niki Layser podcast. Go watch Bob sag.

602
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 1: It's set from this Young Comedian special that um he

603
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 1: had posted on his Instagram over Quarantine. I was always

604
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 1: familiar with Bob's stand up, but always like it was

605
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 1: before I started doing stand up, before I respected the

606
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 1: art of it. Bob, you are you watch your stand up?

607
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:28,240
Speaker 1: We watched it this morning. There I see every fucking

608
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:31,280
Speaker 1: stand up in your stand up like you influence and

609
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 1: I'm sure you were influenced by people, but you are

610
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 1: first of all just and that's why I love you

611
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:40,280
Speaker 1: so much, and you make me last hard because you

612
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 1: are a joke machine. It's NonStop with you. You can't

613
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 1: go one. Your setups are funny. But I was doing um,

614
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 1: I was counting your laughs right after we watched it. Once,

615
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:54,920
Speaker 1: I go, that seems like a machine gun, like you know, delivery.

616
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:56,959
Speaker 1: So I started counting them and then I divided by

617
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 1: the amount of minutes, and I took off your intro

618
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 1: and I took off the outro and you had I think,

619
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:05,320
Speaker 1: one joke every three seconds, like it was something like

620
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 1: one a laugh every three seconds. You were so fucking funny.

621
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:13,719
Speaker 1: That's set in nine six was so ballsy. You were

622
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 1: saying things that were so dark. And we all know

623
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:19,120
Speaker 1: that Bob Saget was revealed to be this like dirty

624
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 1: comic after we had known him as Danny Tanner. But

625
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 1: like you were always this way you were, But it's

626
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 1: not dirty, you were just you're so smart, so quick.

627
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:30,080
Speaker 1: It is. It is a stand up set that is

628
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,000
Speaker 1: that would stand the test of time. You should go

629
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:37,280
Speaker 1: watch it now. It's one of my favorite clips. That

630
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 1: was not that was not my joke. That was my

631
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:42,760
Speaker 1: uncle to joke, and it was because my ex wife

632
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 1: was five one j nuts over her. She's this tall.

633
00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 1: And then you'll hold your one of those when you

634
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 1: said I love my mom and you can too. And

635
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 1: twelve dollars, Nikki, when I did stand up on the road,

636
00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 1: I would build on it. I said, that's not true.

637
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 1: She's class. I see it's twenty four dollars. You know.

638
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 1: I'd always increase your value because it's my because that's

639
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 1: my mom, that's your mom, Bob. You don't want to

640
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 1: give it away from And in inflation, you know, she

641
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 1: really she's in the crowd inflated over the years, and

642
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:19,880
Speaker 1: so did we had to give her an inflammatory. But

643
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 1: what happened was people took that as me saying bad things.

644
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 1: And you know, when I go back and I feel

645
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 1: bad I did, there's jokes that I do well. I

646
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 1: feel there were jokes that I did in a two

647
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 1: thousand seven special, or things that were said about me

648
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 1: on the Comedy Central Roast. I wish I could take

649
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 1: back things. I didn't want them being said then about me,

650
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 1: but but I couldn't do anything about it. And and you,

651
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:44,800
Speaker 1: you are the jokes that you look back on and

652
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 1: you go that joke doesn't Why did I do? I

653
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to do that now? Is there anything that quiet?

654
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't want you to do nothing, but

655
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 1: thousands of them. You know, there's there's thousands of jokes

656
00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 1: waiting to cancel you and the same for me, but

657
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 1: they're not gonna. But I don't. I don't deserve cancelization

658
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: because I feel bad about it. And I don't think

659
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:11,040
Speaker 1: I actually hurt anyone ever. And the people that they

660
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 1: think I hurt are my best friends. So it's like

661
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,720
Speaker 1: you said this about that person and there they were

662
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 1: a kid, I know, but they were twenty two and

663
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 1: I'm best friends with them now and they're worried about

664
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 1: me because you're gonna cancel me, So I'm not cancelable.

665
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 1: I just you know, I just want to do what

666
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,880
Speaker 1: I do. You know me, I come from a place

667
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 1: to love. I say the wrong thing because that's how

668
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 1: I deal with how bad things are. But we got

669
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 1: to be careful about how we do that, especially now

670
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 1: because so many people. You know, the old thing of

671
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,640
Speaker 1: words matter is what I like to say to my wife.

672
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 1: Uh so, how much is your mom today? I was

673
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 1: going to do a sex joke about my my wife,

674
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 1: but I stopped it in time, and then you brought

675
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 1: up my mom, which is that is the thing that

676
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 1: will stop any sex joke my mom? Yes enough. I

677
00:34:05,040 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 1: love the way you walk out on stage on this.

678
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 1: Can I just play this? So Rodney brings you up? Um,

679
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 1: you could tell he loved you. Is that I felt

680
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 1: that way? By the way, it's it's mutual and it's

681
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:20,880
Speaker 1: not bullshit. I really feel that way. So yeah, you

682
00:34:20,920 --> 00:34:23,640
Speaker 1: can hear it. So here's here you are walking up

683
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:26,640
Speaker 1: the stage. I love this interest its first line. If

684
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 1: you're a wonderful audience, you really are. I'm not just

685
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 1: kissing up. I'm really not. I swear I'm I'm slabbering

686
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:32,719
Speaker 1: all over you is what I'm doing because I need

687
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 1: you to like me real bad because I have no

688
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 1: act and I have no life and I have no future.

689
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:41,239
Speaker 1: I have no act and I have no future. Well,

690
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:44,399
Speaker 1: the young Comedians special to open that way is so

691
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 1: freaking funny and true and honest, I love it. But

692
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:51,000
Speaker 1: it really wasn't an act. It wasn't you were just

693
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 1: saying I was just dripping without therapy. Therapy slowed me

694
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 1: down a little bit. But when I first came to

695
00:34:57,520 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 1: l A and I went to the comedy store in

696
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 1: seven in eight, uh, Robin, Robin Williams came up to me,

697
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 1: and I used to say, I have no act, I

698
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 1: have no life, and I live in a moped, which

699
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:12,320
Speaker 1: didn't make anything. That means I didn't even have a

700
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:15,520
Speaker 1: studio apartment. You know, that's how small. But people don't

701
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 1: even go to that step now, they just go right, hey,

702
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 1: I own a moped. You've offended all moped. But Robin

703
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,799
Speaker 1: Robin came up to me, so first time I met him,

704
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,319
Speaker 1: he comes up, so you have no have no life

705
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 1: and you you live in a moped. That's a bad impression.

706
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:38,760
Speaker 1: And I went, yes, that's what I said. He said, Okay,

707
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 1: that is great. I watched the new Apple series Who

708
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 1: Do You Think You Are? What? It's the one with

709
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:51,280
Speaker 1: Harry Harry Uh, Prince harryum oprah. It's about mental health.

710
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 1: I really recommend it to my parents so they can

711
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 1: understand why I am the way I am. Yeah. I

712
00:35:57,640 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 1: really like It's one of these things where I'm like,

713
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,359
Speaker 1: can I buy them an Apple TV subscription and tell

714
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,040
Speaker 1: them to watch the second episode of the Breton Harry

715
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 1: because it's just it makes it I think that so much.

716
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 1: So much of the time mental health is just like

717
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 1: why did you choose to be depressed? Just like go

718
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 1: for a walk and just like snap out of it.

719
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:16,000
Speaker 1: Nick is so much what I heard, not because my

720
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 1: parents weren't like they did not capable of empathy, but

721
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:23,080
Speaker 1: kind of not andthing that you have to learn. Yeah,

722
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,320
Speaker 1: well we had we had mental illness in our family

723
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:28,000
Speaker 1: and my sister I had a sister that was schizophrenic

724
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:31,960
Speaker 1: and uh passed away at thirty four of her brain aneurism,

725
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 1: and she was beautiful and wonderful. And I had the

726
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,839
Speaker 1: other one that passed away from SPARTRMO which is harden

727
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:41,279
Speaker 1: to go the skin um and so my comedy as

728
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 1: people died just got worse as far as death jokes

729
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,720
Speaker 1: and sickness jokes. And then I realized, what these jokes

730
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:51,640
Speaker 1: aren't all getting left, so I better take it easy.

731
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:54,279
Speaker 1: But when I do, my bet, maybe deal like did

732
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,280
Speaker 1: it make you feel like you were Maybe? Because sometimes

733
00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,319
Speaker 1: I joke about things and they're not getting last because

734
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:01,759
Speaker 1: people are like, that's really sad what you're talking about,

735
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 1: and you probably haven't healed from it, and we can

736
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:10,240
Speaker 1: tell you haven't dealing with it, and they can sense

737
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 1: that we're not over it yet, and then they were

738
00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:15,400
Speaker 1: not brilliant people that maybe aren't always perceived as comedians

739
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:17,719
Speaker 1: that we know who they are, and they get nominated

740
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:23,360
Speaker 1: for Emmy and Grammy Awards rightfully, and they're doing comedy,

741
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,799
Speaker 1: but it's more spoken word and they're they're explaining I

742
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:31,000
Speaker 1: went through this, I had cancer, my my parents did this.

743
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 1: I was a victim of gun violence. And I just

744
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:38,000
Speaker 1: don't don't work that way. I I it's too painful.

745
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:40,840
Speaker 1: I talked that way like That's why I love a podcast.

746
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:44,120
Speaker 1: I love my podcast because I'm able to it is

747
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:47,560
Speaker 1: here for you than I was. I was on it

748
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:50,879
Speaker 1: and I had a really good time. So I love

749
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 1: I just love talking to you. But you're right about

750
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 1: when I was talking this morning about and just singing

751
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:58,080
Speaker 1: your praises to Andrew about like this dude, like, is

752
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 1: the those jokes are so fat us? There's not a

753
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,759
Speaker 1: second wasted. And Andrew was saying, what did you say?

754
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 1: You were like, there's some comics that, Yeah, well to

755
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:08,640
Speaker 1: build up there, like you were saying, it gives it

756
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:12,319
Speaker 1: more context and then the audience understands that you're you've

757
00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:14,439
Speaker 1: dealt with it outside of the stage. Are you saying

758
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:19,320
Speaker 1: that you go like straight to the joke too quick anymore?

759
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 1: Still do to entertain them. But right now I'm on

760
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:26,160
Speaker 1: a tour and I'm doing some clubs like what is

761
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 1: it West Nyak Levity Live. Yeah, you're at Levity Live

762
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:32,760
Speaker 1: in West Nyak in New York Wednesday. So that's not stuff.

763
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 1: I would go to the seller and do three shows.

764
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:39,719
Speaker 1: I want to do a full hour um or hour

765
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:42,480
Speaker 1: and a half and and really work on all the

766
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 1: because it's all new stuff and it's all and it's

767
00:38:45,160 --> 00:38:48,439
Speaker 1: more stories. But I don't like there are moments where

768
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 1: I love no laughs and then I wait because I

769
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 1: know how to do it now. Took me to six

770
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 1: or five years old to figure it out, but then

771
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:58,439
Speaker 1: to to wait as long as it takes to get

772
00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 1: the laugh, because of the laugh has meaning and and

773
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:03,839
Speaker 1: then they laugh out of Oh my god, you just

774
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:05,920
Speaker 1: burst the bubble of my uncomfortable nous. I used to

775
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 1: not be able to wait, uh and just joke joke, joke,

776
00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 1: because because it's too vulnerable to have a set up

777
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,799
Speaker 1: and to maybe take them to a place where they

778
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:18,359
Speaker 1: could interrupt you, or they could heckle, or you could

779
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,760
Speaker 1: just feel too vulnerable. I just I don't like having

780
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:23,319
Speaker 1: any room for people to heckle me or to tell

781
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 1: me I suck or two. I just want to be

782
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:27,680
Speaker 1: That's why I talk so fast. That's why I want

783
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 1: joke la la lf laugh, and it's um it's a

784
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,560
Speaker 1: defense mechanism anyways, but it's also good. I mean, you're

785
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:36,080
Speaker 1: you're doing I work that way, so it's kind of comedy.

786
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 1: I like. Well, Roddy Dangerfield told me when I met him,

787
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:41,439
Speaker 1: and I was like twenty four at the comedy store

788
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:44,359
Speaker 1: in Lajoya. He said, just fifty minutes, man, just one

789
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:47,560
Speaker 1: after another, just machine gun it. Man, just go, and

790
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:50,959
Speaker 1: he said, doing stand up to him was like doing

791
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 1: six minutes in Germany during World War Two when you're

792
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:57,120
Speaker 1: trying to get out and the guard at the border

793
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:58,839
Speaker 1: will let you out if you can make him laugh,

794
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 1: and you've got six minutes. Yes, mom, it's that like

795
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 1: a joke every ten second when you're doing an hour,

796
00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:11,440
Speaker 1: like you know, get either repetitive or it's a lot

797
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:13,880
Speaker 1: of memorization. It's like it's it's a lot, you know,

798
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 1: if you the pros can pros can figure it out.

799
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 1: There are some one liner comics that start out and

800
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,719
Speaker 1: they got a good six minutes and they'll get on

801
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:23,480
Speaker 1: the Tonight Show and stuff and they can't. That doesn't

802
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:26,320
Speaker 1: last an hour. But you can't. I was saying, Wendy

803
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:29,680
Speaker 1: Leehman is someone who can do an hour of just those,

804
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:32,759
Speaker 1: like you know, I just quit smoking crack and you know,

805
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 1: like she can do an hour of those and you

806
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 1: and it's a fun game to play because you go,

807
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 1: I don't know what is coming. I like to pause

808
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:41,120
Speaker 1: it and guess what she might do to divert it. Bob,

809
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 1: your your stand up was I'm seriously truly so inspired

810
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:48,359
Speaker 1: by your stand up and how funny you are and

811
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:50,839
Speaker 1: uh and also how You've transitioned into this like more

812
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 1: emotionally vulnerable person and a guy who's going to get

813
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 1: me into this Chappelle camp, which, by the way, can

814
00:40:56,120 --> 00:41:00,439
Speaker 1: I just say, oh yeah, oh yeah, they're doing. Dane

815
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 1: Cook was there this past weekend. I did. I was

816
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:06,400
Speaker 1: the first one when when when it went south because

817
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 1: there was a COVID exposure in September. I only had

818
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 1: one night and so um, then that was it. They

819
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 1: closed it down. There's a documentary Dave made which is

820
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,719
Speaker 1: being shown uh at Radio City in a week. I'm

821
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:21,680
Speaker 1: gonna go to that premiere. But then but then it stopped,

822
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:24,359
Speaker 1: and then he said, you're gonna be the Dave Chappelle said,

823
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,080
Speaker 1: you're the first person I'm gonna call when we start up,

824
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:30,520
Speaker 1: and damn it, I got. I got the call and

825
00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 1: I said, I'm on the plane. At first, I couldn't

826
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:35,040
Speaker 1: do it because of my schedule. He's the best in

827
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,920
Speaker 1: every way. And I got on the plane and then

828
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,760
Speaker 1: in a sudden it's it's my boyfriends. It's it's John Mayor,

829
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:44,560
Speaker 1: it's it's Jeff Ross, and I'm there and and uh

830
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:50,479
Speaker 1: and Donell's there, and it's just it's it's so I don't.

831
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:54,959
Speaker 1: I'm too I'm too overwhelmed at the idea of there.

832
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,279
Speaker 1: He's it's all for the right reasons, you know, and

833
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:00,160
Speaker 1: it's in a freaking horn field, and it's this thing

834
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:02,359
Speaker 1: organic and real about it. And he was saying, Michael,

835
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:05,520
Speaker 1: do you sleep. I had a hotel that you would

836
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 1: not normally do on the road. Yeah, I get what

837
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:13,319
Speaker 1: you're saying. A microtel. You don't care cart hotel there,

838
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:15,520
Speaker 1: and you feel like kind of what I want. I

839
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:17,399
Speaker 1: want to be able to get away from everyone, because

840
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 1: I'm not someone who wants to hang out seven with comics.

841
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:22,839
Speaker 1: Like I love a comic hang but I don't want

842
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 1: to like sleep in the same house and wake up

843
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 1: in the morning and have to like, you know, eat

844
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 1: cereal with No. I don't do that. I used to

845
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:31,880
Speaker 1: do those comedy condos and then about you know, forty

846
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:34,279
Speaker 1: years ago, I said no more popcorn ceilings, and then

847
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:35,960
Speaker 1: of course I stay in like the Four Seasons with

848
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:39,839
Speaker 1: a popcorn ceiling. We're just straight for that. We got

849
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 1: to get to the news. We're gonna do a couple

850
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,720
Speaker 1: of news segments before we get to our special segment

851
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 1: that we have for you. I do want to say

852
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 1: with the Chappelle thing. My last thing is that I

853
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:50,320
Speaker 1: was on Fallon with him. He was the first guest.

854
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 1: I was the second, and they were like, are you

855
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 1: okay being the second guest to Chappelle? And I was like,

856
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 1: I can't even just make him the guest, which they

857
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:58,319
Speaker 1: ended up doing. I literally had like two minutes on air,

858
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:00,400
Speaker 1: but I did not care because it was like Chapelle,

859
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:02,799
Speaker 1: I um. But I also said to him, I go

860
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 1: can because I was doing it on zoom I. I

861
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:07,759
Speaker 1: went through my publicist and I go, can you ask

862
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 1: if Chappelle wants to stay on for mine? Like you

863
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 1: know you like you would stay on the couch and

864
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:15,600
Speaker 1: you know it will be three minutes. And they were

865
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 1: like do you know him? And I go, um, no,

866
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 1: I mean no. But I met him at a you know,

867
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,080
Speaker 1: comedy sellar brunch and he was very nice to me

868
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 1: and like I seemed to know my name, and I'm

869
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:26,560
Speaker 1: sure he's heard of me and so and we have

870
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 1: mutual friends. And I think they floated it and then

871
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,239
Speaker 1: they came up. I don't actually, I don't think they

872
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:33,520
Speaker 1: asked him because they were too scared that they he

873
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 1: wouldn't want it, because he ended up sticking around and

874
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:39,560
Speaker 1: watching my interview even though he was done with his

875
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:42,360
Speaker 1: at his ranch where he was zooming. It was so nice.

876
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 1: People said that afterwards he was like, where's NICKI I

877
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 1: want to tell her because he stayed on for the

878
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:48,920
Speaker 1: musical guest because it was one of his friends. And

879
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,200
Speaker 1: my boom fell out too. So yeah, I actually I

880
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:54,560
Speaker 1: saw that, and I saw I watched every frame very slow,

881
00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:59,840
Speaker 1: and then Kelly Kelly came in. I haven't gone a

882
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 1: new or thought about it, but but Kelly came in

883
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 1: and she's interested also, so um okay, Well that that

884
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 1: we'll talk about. I will say about Dave that I

885
00:44:10,239 --> 00:44:12,799
Speaker 1: was watching, Uh, Michael cha who has a guest. He's

886
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 1: a guest on my podcast on Monday. He'll be my guest.

887
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:18,439
Speaker 1: And oh great, Michael, Oh god, I love him. And

888
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 1: so he was at Chappelle camp, and so he was

889
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:23,759
Speaker 1: at Chappelle's place and Dave kept sticking his head and

890
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 1: promoting his podcast and it was hilarious. He is and

891
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 1: he called the hotel that we stay at. He actually

892
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:32,960
Speaker 1: said they've changing the name of it to the Colonel

893
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 1: Sanders Hotel because it looks like that plantation style. It

894
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 1: is it's that bad. It is No, it's actually lovely.

895
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:45,279
Speaker 1: But Dave Chappelle can say it. Dave Chappelle can say

896
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:48,880
Speaker 1: anything like literally, you're like Dave Chappelle walked in the room,

897
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:55,720
Speaker 1: and I'm like, Dave must be annoyed by getting tired

898
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:58,840
Speaker 1: when you don't approve yourself anymore when you go and

899
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 1: when you're a will to be around him and for

900
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 1: a long amount of time, he's all loved. He is

901
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:08,279
Speaker 1: all loved, and that that's what comes through. And then

902
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:11,439
Speaker 1: the fact that he is one of the funny can't

903
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:13,600
Speaker 1: we gone to him and just use him as a

904
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:16,360
Speaker 1: second I No, I don't. I honestly don't want to

905
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 1: do that at all. I want to just have a

906
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:25,160
Speaker 1: want to be the greatest facilitated though, because I want

907
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:28,399
Speaker 1: you there when you meet when you when I meet him,

908
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 1: I want you there to vouch for me. And I

909
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:33,640
Speaker 1: also just I just need I just want you, Bob Saget,

910
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:35,000
Speaker 1: I want you to be here for me, just like

911
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:38,040
Speaker 1: your podcast. I will be and I won't be maybe physically,

912
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,480
Speaker 1: but all you have to say is do you like

913
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:43,239
Speaker 1: Bob Saggett, And then he'll hug you for about four

914
00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:45,279
Speaker 1: minutes because we hug each other to the point where

915
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 1: it gets uncomfortable really and I can't break it, and

916
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:50,520
Speaker 1: he gets scared that I won't break the hug. Oh

917
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:53,160
Speaker 1: I love that. So he's a he's he's a very

918
00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 1: like affectionate person with his friends, with his friends, he

919
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:58,840
Speaker 1: is about the best friend you can have. He's a

920
00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 1: sweet one. I love that. I was there with John

921
00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:04,359
Speaker 1: Mayer too, So we were going to do a pre

922
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:06,480
Speaker 1: nep of some kind. There was not gonna be any

923
00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 1: any sex. And your friends with John, Yeah, he's a

924
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:13,719
Speaker 1: friend and you have the coolest friends. He is. How

925
00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 1: did you meet John Mayer? Real? Quite before we get

926
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 1: to the news, how did you guys? Everything goes back

927
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 1: to something dark. My dad had passed away and I

928
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 1: was doing a benefit for score Derma and that I

929
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,799
Speaker 1: do every year, and he did this year, you did,

930
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 1: and we're gonna do it. I love I will do

931
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:33,200
Speaker 1: it again for sure. I loved learning about it and

932
00:46:33,560 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 1: UM like getting involved. And I actually did learn a

933
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:40,680
Speaker 1: lot about it and it's uh, it's something that needs

934
00:46:40,719 --> 00:46:43,439
Speaker 1: our support and I'm really glad that you do those

935
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 1: It was it was it was a joy to be

936
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:46,879
Speaker 1: asked to do it. And um, And like I said

937
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:48,880
Speaker 1: on the thing, I was like, it is one of

938
00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:50,719
Speaker 1: the greatest joys of my career that I'm friends with

939
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:53,560
Speaker 1: Bob Saget like two friends. It's it's just it really is.

940
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 1: And I say that with no um sarcasm, like it's

941
00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:59,719
Speaker 1: just like you know, you're just it's just cool to

942
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 1: call my friends. So this is my savor, my savorite foom,

943
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:06,839
Speaker 1: my favorite zoom of the year. Well, I love when

944
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:11,200
Speaker 1: I talked Dr Seuss, I, oh, he's canceled ship. Sorry.

945
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 1: John John John Mayor got involved with the Square Derma

946
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:19,799
Speaker 1: Research Foundation and he had done a benefit for me

947
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:21,759
Speaker 1: and it was a long time ago, and I was

948
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:25,400
Speaker 1: like fifteen eighteen years ago, and uh, my dad passed

949
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:28,640
Speaker 1: away like a week before or something, and he was

950
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:30,600
Speaker 1: going through some loss, but he wanted to be there

951
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:33,440
Speaker 1: for me as a friend because we just kind of

952
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:36,319
Speaker 1: hit it off immediately. And it was one of his

953
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:38,960
Speaker 1: watches or something. No, he didn't have all those watches

954
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 1: back then. I steal one every time I go over

955
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:44,600
Speaker 1: his house. And then we went to the Laugh Factory

956
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:46,280
Speaker 1: and he wanted to do stand up and he tried

957
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 1: it and he had never done it before, so I

958
00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:51,480
Speaker 1: was his well, well not the first time, so it

959
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:55,920
Speaker 1: was okay, good. It was subjectively difficult, and so Jamie

960
00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 1: still passed him as a as a regular, right Jamie

961
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:02,360
Speaker 1: us at the last factory, who determines who gets on?

962
00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:04,799
Speaker 1: I would think, yeah, but John Mayor is funny, and

963
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 1: that he's really funny, really funny, and his new music

964
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 1: is insane. I mean I actually have one of those.

965
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:14,399
Speaker 1: I have the new album and a couple of them

966
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:16,680
Speaker 1: have been hits already on this album because they hadn't

967
00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:21,200
Speaker 1: been released except but one new song, which no, that's

968
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:23,319
Speaker 1: that's amazing. He just did that, you know the night

969
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 1: on Kimmel. But there's another one. Um, I'll remember. He's

970
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:29,440
Speaker 1: one of the best ever. He's one of the best

971
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:33,640
Speaker 1: guitarists and nicest voice, but he's he's also a genuine person.

972
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:36,440
Speaker 1: And Jeff Ross was there, who's also your friend, you know,

973
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 1: he's yeah. I mean, these are all people that I

974
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:42,880
Speaker 1: love and we'll get along with. So okay, so I'll go.

975
00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 1: I'll go to the camp. I'm invited. Now we'll wait. No,

976
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:47,239
Speaker 1: I'm not. Let's get to the news, but it will

977
00:48:47,239 --> 00:48:48,960
Speaker 1: be I'll do it in ten years and get arrested

978
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:52,239
Speaker 1: for trespassing. Will be great, Andrew? What what what news that?

979
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 1: Let's get to the news, Andrew your first. Oh, and

980
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:00,960
Speaker 1: I hope you have any time out there and having

981
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:04,960
Speaker 1: all the swells. Uh. Only thirty three percent of Americans

982
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:08,400
Speaker 1: would take an immortality pill, and men are more likely

983
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:12,960
Speaker 1: to take it than women. Uh okay, yeah that makes sense.

984
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:16,040
Speaker 1: I was really wondering, what what if someone gave you

985
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 1: a pill that I could live forever? Would I take it?

986
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:21,000
Speaker 1: And and what age would you pick? Oh? So you

987
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:24,799
Speaker 1: stop aging? Yeah? I thought you would take it now

988
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:27,480
Speaker 1: and just like be as you know, so like if

989
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:29,520
Speaker 1: you're in your seventies, A lot of people in your

990
00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:32,600
Speaker 1: seventies pick like forty two thirty seven. Right now, I

991
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:34,560
Speaker 1: feel like I'm in my best I'm in my prime.

992
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:36,960
Speaker 1: I feel good, I feel like I've done the work.

993
00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 1: I feel happy, I feel like attractive. I feel like

994
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:42,200
Speaker 1: my body is not failing me yet. Um and uh.

995
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:43,960
Speaker 1: And I would actually not not take it because I

996
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:45,879
Speaker 1: don't want to live forever, because it's something I think

997
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:47,840
Speaker 1: the world is going to end pretty soon, like in

998
00:49:47,840 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 1: the next fifteen years, and I don't want to be

999
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:51,959
Speaker 1: walking around a barren wasteland by myself for the rest

1000
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:55,960
Speaker 1: of it. And would you take it? Will? They say

1001
00:49:55,960 --> 00:49:58,240
Speaker 1: in the Motorcycle's Guide to the Galaxy of the Secret

1002
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:00,239
Speaker 1: to Life is forty two. So I probably would have

1003
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:01,879
Speaker 1: taken it then, but I was having a rough time.

1004
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:04,200
Speaker 1: I got divorced then, so I don't want to repeat that.

1005
00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:06,320
Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean you're going to repeat your actions.

1006
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 1: But I mean it does. Actually, there's no free will, okay,

1007
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:12,120
Speaker 1: So it's that way. Okay. So but if it's like

1008
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:13,880
Speaker 1: a wonderful life where you go back and see what

1009
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 1: good you meant to the world, then maybe it doesn't.

1010
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:19,960
Speaker 1: You live your life. You don't take the damn pill

1011
00:50:20,160 --> 00:50:23,400
Speaker 1: unless there's complete peace on earth and all the wires

1012
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:27,160
Speaker 1: and horrible people and tortures online are gone. I'd take

1013
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:30,239
Speaker 1: it right away because then I'd go, Wow, it's gonna

1014
00:50:30,239 --> 00:50:32,799
Speaker 1: be goodness and beauty forever. But that ain't happening. So

1015
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:35,720
Speaker 1: I think that ain't happening. But do I stay erect

1016
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:38,600
Speaker 1: if I take it? Yeah, okay, you can be erected

1017
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:40,920
Speaker 1: the whole time you got up. I just meant sitting

1018
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:46,359
Speaker 1: up right, Oh okay, I wreck Well, I'll berect no

1019
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:49,480
Speaker 1: matter what how old would you? How old would you be?

1020
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:51,680
Speaker 1: That would be the perfect Bob want to know how

1021
00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:53,840
Speaker 1: old are you now? Bomb? I can't believe it, Nikki,

1022
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:58,320
Speaker 1: I'm sixty five years old. I can't you you look amazing.

1023
00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:01,279
Speaker 1: I can't like that. I have a paper clip on

1024
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:05,080
Speaker 1: the back of my neck holding it together, and all

1025
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 1: my lower stuff I had my foopa removed. Um, what

1026
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:12,719
Speaker 1: age physically for your body was when you go? That

1027
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:15,319
Speaker 1: was the best? Like where? But before? What was the

1028
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:17,279
Speaker 1: age where you go? Things are starting to fall apart

1029
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:19,520
Speaker 1: because I think I am starting to hit that age

1030
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 1: where like you you trip and then like your foot

1031
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:24,440
Speaker 1: moves a work weird way and now you're injury. Well

1032
00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:26,880
Speaker 1: it's funny because Dana Carvey has a bit that everybody

1033
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,640
Speaker 1: stole when he had a joke about being fifty when

1034
00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:32,359
Speaker 1: he turned fifty, and he said, you know, I broke

1035
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:35,759
Speaker 1: my arm, how I picked up the phone? You know?

1036
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:39,600
Speaker 1: My back? I broke my back, how I sat up?

1037
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:41,960
Speaker 1: You know, I I got up you know, And it's

1038
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:44,840
Speaker 1: that it's a common premise, but Dana Carvey has actually

1039
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:46,680
Speaker 1: been a source for a lot of original material that

1040
00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:51,480
Speaker 1: people have just borrowed. But it's true. At fifty. There

1041
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 1: are things that happened to you, but I don't have

1042
00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 1: those problems. I guess in my late thirties I was

1043
00:51:57,160 --> 00:51:59,200
Speaker 1: probably in the best. I had like a four pack

1044
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:03,319
Speaker 1: at that time. Yeah, but an eight track at a

1045
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:08,120
Speaker 1: four pack. Yes, that's a woman's name, but I do it.

1046
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:12,800
Speaker 1: You can't can't say that you can get canceled that

1047
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 1: you can You can't say that because she's non binary

1048
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 1: and you should have plates. Is I like a woman

1049
00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 1: who is binary, because I mean she likes any number.

1050
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:28,600
Speaker 1: But but I don't know. It doesn't mean anything. Sometimes

1051
00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:35,560
Speaker 1: you just say something and yeah, every joke for me

1052
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 1: ends the way an avenger lands on the ground at

1053
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:42,319
Speaker 1: the end of their flight, where they land with one

1054
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 1: knee up, And it has to be has to do

1055
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:45,759
Speaker 1: with the c G I of it all. It has

1056
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:49,239
Speaker 1: to run it backwards or forwards, but they land. You

1057
00:52:49,360 --> 00:52:52,400
Speaker 1: are someone who takes risks when you you say things

1058
00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 1: sometimes and I go, I don't even know, And but

1059
00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:57,239
Speaker 1: sometimes you hit a bull's eye And sometimes it's just

1060
00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:00,520
Speaker 1: funny at how it makes like inside of open does

1061
00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:04,319
Speaker 1: not make any goddamn sense. Living automoped does in is

1062
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:10,040
Speaker 1: a weird choice of words for a yes, um, I

1063
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:13,840
Speaker 1: love it. I wonder why women are more likely to

1064
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:16,759
Speaker 1: not want to live because our lives are worse? Is

1065
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:21,160
Speaker 1: that accurate? More women would not want more women people

1066
00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:25,799
Speaker 1: in Texas? So that's the thing is everybody always goes,

1067
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:29,840
Speaker 1: I heard what's yours? I heard, Oh, that's what the

1068
00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:32,440
Speaker 1: joke that I'm going to use forever when that you

1069
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:34,640
Speaker 1: just said it reminds you of your own joke. I

1070
00:53:34,719 --> 00:53:38,279
Speaker 1: read this thing and like you said a fact and

1071
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:40,480
Speaker 1: you go, that's true. I read it, and you go,

1072
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:42,120
Speaker 1: I wrote it down and then I read it, but

1073
00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:45,120
Speaker 1: I read it. That is so funny where we're at,

1074
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:49,680
Speaker 1: that joke has become reality. Anybody, you need to bring

1075
00:53:49,719 --> 00:53:51,719
Speaker 1: that back. Will you put that joke back in your like,

1076
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:55,720
Speaker 1: take all the jokes. People don't know that your crowd

1077
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:57,759
Speaker 1: that's coming to see you know, I don't like this

1078
00:53:57,840 --> 00:53:59,720
Speaker 1: idea of how we have to always have new material.

1079
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:02,600
Speaker 1: That stuff has not been seen. And now you are

1080
00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:05,239
Speaker 1: such a better comic than you even were then and

1081
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:06,839
Speaker 1: you can add more to it. You need to go

1082
00:54:06,880 --> 00:54:09,759
Speaker 1: back and re rehash all those jokes. We need to

1083
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:12,120
Speaker 1: see those and you know why, because people are gonna

1084
00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:14,880
Speaker 1: steal those jokes not knowing because parallel thought, and you

1085
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:16,919
Speaker 1: need to be like I was there first, and and

1086
00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:20,120
Speaker 1: and get him out there again. Seinfeld did a whole

1087
00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:23,200
Speaker 1: special of his best jokes. But I had a joke

1088
00:54:23,239 --> 00:54:26,040
Speaker 1: that I did once on The Tonight Show and then um,

1089
00:54:26,080 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 1: it was in Newsweek as a cartoon two weeks later,

1090
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:31,920
Speaker 1: no without crediting me, of course, because it was common thought.

1091
00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:35,320
Speaker 1: And then Johnny Carson did it three weeks later because

1092
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 1: one of his writers probably said it because they forgot

1093
00:54:37,719 --> 00:54:39,840
Speaker 1: that I was a guest saying the joke. It was

1094
00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:42,960
Speaker 1: when they put kids on the milk cartons and I said,

1095
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:46,279
Speaker 1: they have just Paul Newman is on salad dressing. This

1096
00:54:46,320 --> 00:54:49,799
Speaker 1: is a long time ago. I said, does that mean

1097
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:52,839
Speaker 1: he's missing? And that was a joke. But then there's

1098
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:56,040
Speaker 1: two more parts to it. Then Chiff Bear d he

1099
00:54:56,160 --> 00:54:58,640
Speaker 1: must be gone for like twenty five years, and that

1100
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:00,640
Speaker 1: and then this is the real punch. But that guy

1101
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:02,719
Speaker 1: on the Quaker oats box, I don't think we're ever

1102
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:06,960
Speaker 1: going to see him again. That was because the Quaker

1103
00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:12,799
Speaker 1: look of a guy. It's so funny. Come out saying

1104
00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:17,080
Speaker 1: what a good joke that was. No, it's I love

1105
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 1: the layers to it, and again it goes to an

1106
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:21,840
Speaker 1: absurd place where you go, I don't even know, but that,

1107
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:23,320
Speaker 1: of course it makes sense. You were not going to

1108
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:26,000
Speaker 1: see that guy again. He's been long gone. But it's

1109
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:32,319
Speaker 1: because milk curtains. And that started by a friend of

1110
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:34,400
Speaker 1: mine who passed away. They were doing a TV movie

1111
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:37,719
Speaker 1: called Adam and they went to Washington and they lobbied

1112
00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:41,240
Speaker 1: because they had a friend that had couldn't have lost

1113
00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:44,480
Speaker 1: their child. It was missed. The child was missing, and

1114
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:48,800
Speaker 1: they lobbied and got children's pictures on the milk cartons.

1115
00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 1: They did that in their life and they live so

1116
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,160
Speaker 1: that that's what happens. When you do a joke like that,

1117
00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:57,239
Speaker 1: you're going, well, what's the root of that joke? And

1118
00:55:57,280 --> 00:55:59,839
Speaker 1: you oh, God, that's the red of it, And so

1119
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:05,360
Speaker 1: you make comedians do light of it because it's so tragic.

1120
00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:10,080
Speaker 1: That's how we pross those painful things people get. I'm

1121
00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:13,520
Speaker 1: doing material about molestation, like big chunks of it on

1122
00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:17,720
Speaker 1: my upcoming special and tour, and I haven't been molested,

1123
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:19,799
Speaker 1: so it's a little bit like, why do you get

1124
00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:21,600
Speaker 1: to talk about this? But do you think it should

1125
00:56:21,640 --> 00:56:24,160
Speaker 1: subject yourself to that? So you could at least be honest.

1126
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:27,239
Speaker 1: I mean I am open. I'm going to therapy right

1127
00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:29,320
Speaker 1: now and trying to have a therapist like like plant

1128
00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:30,920
Speaker 1: it into my psyche. You know how they do that

1129
00:56:30,960 --> 00:56:33,319
Speaker 1: sometimes where they like make you feel like you've been

1130
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:36,279
Speaker 1: mustling and they you alienate, they alienate you from your

1131
00:56:36,280 --> 00:56:38,080
Speaker 1: family so that he can charge you a lot, which

1132
00:56:38,080 --> 00:56:40,600
Speaker 1: has happened to me before. But no, I um, I

1133
00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:43,000
Speaker 1: just feel like anyone that could get upset about I'm

1134
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,839
Speaker 1: not going to not talk about something because it's not

1135
00:56:44,960 --> 00:56:46,680
Speaker 1: like happened to me. And I don't have this like

1136
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 1: green like like I have three daughters, right and I

1137
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:53,319
Speaker 1: mean talking about and we do and it is one

1138
00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:57,000
Speaker 1: of the most horrific things on this earth. And if

1139
00:56:57,040 --> 00:56:59,520
Speaker 1: if you know, a lot of us go hey, cancel.

1140
00:56:59,560 --> 00:57:02,759
Speaker 1: Culture is too much. And but when it comes to

1141
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:07,320
Speaker 1: something like a woman's right and they're being violated by guys,

1142
00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:10,880
Speaker 1: because that's how guys have been since the beginning of time, uh,

1143
00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:14,600
Speaker 1: that there's I relish that we're able. I don't use relish,

1144
00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:17,720
Speaker 1: but I relish that we're able to we're able to

1145
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:20,720
Speaker 1: stop and put it out there. More so, if if

1146
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:26,000
Speaker 1: all the material you're doing is obviously, and it is.

1147
00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:29,240
Speaker 1: It's it's pro if you've been molested, it's not your fault,

1148
00:57:29,360 --> 00:57:32,560
Speaker 1: and like, here's the here's a bright side of it,

1149
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:35,960
Speaker 1: and it's about and it's just about I don't care

1150
00:57:36,080 --> 00:57:38,520
Speaker 1: if it is pro or whatever. It is the fact

1151
00:57:38,560 --> 00:57:40,560
Speaker 1: that I just even can say the word, like you

1152
00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:42,320
Speaker 1: can't you shouldn't do rape jokes. And I've said this

1153
00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:44,280
Speaker 1: a million times on my podcast, but I just get

1154
00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:48,040
Speaker 1: defensive of it because I think we as comedians should

1155
00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:51,720
Speaker 1: make light of terrible things because it gets us talking

1156
00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:53,480
Speaker 1: about them, even if it's making light of it, and

1157
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:55,280
Speaker 1: it's like you shouldn't make light of the serious thing.

1158
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:57,640
Speaker 1: At least I'm saying the word molestation and putting it

1159
00:57:57,680 --> 00:58:00,520
Speaker 1: out there so that people that have been molested feel

1160
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,919
Speaker 1: less alone. The thing that happened to them is being

1161
00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:06,720
Speaker 1: talked about publicly. Because when we say we put sanctions

1162
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:08,720
Speaker 1: on things where you go, you can't make jokes about that.

1163
00:58:09,120 --> 00:58:12,200
Speaker 1: It's helping the people, it's helping the molesters, because if

1164
00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:15,640
Speaker 1: you keep a hush hush taboo thing over a whole

1165
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:19,320
Speaker 1: uh like, over something that could happen to so many

1166
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:23,280
Speaker 1: people and does happen constantly to so many people. You

1167
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:27,680
Speaker 1: the abusers win. They win because they get to still

1168
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:31,280
Speaker 1: work in this world where we just don't talk about that,

1169
00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:34,080
Speaker 1: and they get to keep doing it because the victims

1170
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:35,800
Speaker 1: feel like I can't talk about it. I can't joke

1171
00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:37,840
Speaker 1: about it. You can do whatever you want about people

1172
00:58:37,920 --> 00:58:42,480
Speaker 1: should talk about it. Those people that harm people, especially women,

1173
00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:44,880
Speaker 1: should be put away and they should be stopped. And

1174
00:58:45,200 --> 00:58:49,800
Speaker 1: when you're able to talk about it's the truth I got.

1175
00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:51,640
Speaker 1: I got too many women in my life that I

1176
00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:56,320
Speaker 1: care about and never Oh, it's nice for me to say,

1177
00:58:56,320 --> 00:59:00,080
Speaker 1: it's so so kind. I get you're just like a

1178
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:03,120
Speaker 1: hero for saying that should be put away, and the

1179
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:10,160
Speaker 1: award for most anti molestation goes. But I mean, anything

1180
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:12,200
Speaker 1: that upsets us the most. Some people don't want to

1181
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:14,200
Speaker 1: joke about it. And I respect that they don't even

1182
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:15,800
Speaker 1: want to talk about it. They want to get that

1183
00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:18,160
Speaker 1: they wanted to have about you, and it triggers you. Pizza,

1184
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 1: you know, but they don't even want to talk about

1185
00:59:19,640 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 1: things that would upset someone. Religion. How many people choke

1186
00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:26,480
Speaker 1: on pizza here? Those numbers don't think. I wasn't thinking

1187
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 1: of a penis joke just to said pizza, right, out.

1188
00:59:30,680 --> 00:59:33,240
Speaker 1: I definitely have seen people leave the room when I've

1189
00:59:33,240 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 1: brought up abortion, miscarriage, all these uncomfortable topics that might

1190
00:59:36,480 --> 00:59:38,200
Speaker 1: trigger someone. And I go, you know what, that girl

1191
00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:40,240
Speaker 1: might go and cry in the bathroom. And I hope

1192
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:41,600
Speaker 1: that she writes to me and I get to have

1193
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:44,320
Speaker 1: a private conversation with her about private conversation would be

1194
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:48,000
Speaker 1: great rather than getting an attack online. Someone thinks and

1195
00:59:48,040 --> 00:59:50,120
Speaker 1: you don't get to represent what your truth is, which

1196
00:59:50,160 --> 00:59:53,760
Speaker 1: is I care a lot. I'm not whatever you read

1197
00:59:53,920 --> 00:59:59,600
Speaker 1: from some moron. And also, look, there's been so many jokes.

1198
00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:01,960
Speaker 1: I mean, we both love Sarah Silverman, and she did

1199
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:04,520
Speaker 1: so many jokes over the years that dealt with things

1200
01:00:04,520 --> 01:00:07,080
Speaker 1: that are incredibly painful. And then she publicly said on

1201
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:10,800
Speaker 1: our podcast that she's also not unlike myself. There's a

1202
01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:12,920
Speaker 1: lot of stuff she said that she would not say today,

1203
01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:18,200
Speaker 1: and she I would, yeah, responsible, I mean this stuff said.

1204
01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:21,760
Speaker 1: Do you want to hear that? I would like to retract. Listen,

1205
01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:27,360
Speaker 1: I agree with you say stuff all the time. It's uh,

1206
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:29,960
Speaker 1: it's I always just think if it maybe if I

1207
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:32,120
Speaker 1: triggered one girl because and I'm talking about rape and

1208
01:00:32,160 --> 01:00:33,560
Speaker 1: she has to go to the bathroom and maybe it

1209
01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:36,680
Speaker 1: ruins her night. I know that that's a terrible fallout

1210
01:00:36,720 --> 01:00:39,720
Speaker 1: for making fun of something that happened to her or

1211
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:42,720
Speaker 1: making light of it seemingly as she perceived it, because

1212
01:00:42,720 --> 01:00:45,360
Speaker 1: it's her perception and she's entitled to her feelings. However,

1213
01:00:45,600 --> 01:00:47,919
Speaker 1: I would not do that joke if I didn't think

1214
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:51,760
Speaker 1: that the good it could actually do is more than

1215
01:00:51,840 --> 01:00:54,720
Speaker 1: the pain it caused that one person. And I always

1216
01:00:55,080 --> 01:00:58,400
Speaker 1: and maybe I'm wrong, but I don't. I don't. I

1217
01:00:58,720 --> 01:01:01,240
Speaker 1: always consider that that, yeah, I might be triggering individual

1218
01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:03,000
Speaker 1: people who have been molested and maybe don't want to

1219
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:06,080
Speaker 1: hear about that right now in their night out, and um, trigger,

1220
01:01:06,120 --> 01:01:08,320
Speaker 1: I should maybe do a trigger warning before my shows,

1221
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:11,520
Speaker 1: but um, because that is a real thing and they

1222
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:14,360
Speaker 1: can't help that they're having like a visceral PTSD response

1223
01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:16,760
Speaker 1: just hearing about it. But I do think the good

1224
01:01:16,800 --> 01:01:19,280
Speaker 1: about me talking about these subjects and what I've learned

1225
01:01:19,280 --> 01:01:23,240
Speaker 1: from my research about them through comedy, UH is going

1226
01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:26,000
Speaker 1: to do more good than that one or two people

1227
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:27,720
Speaker 1: that might be sad and I but they are also

1228
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:30,600
Speaker 1: entitled to their feelings. Next story, All right, can we

1229
01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:32,600
Speaker 1: go to UH? Why do I care? This is our

1230
01:01:32,600 --> 01:01:34,760
Speaker 1: showbiz segment, and we just try to find meaning out

1231
01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:38,280
Speaker 1: of a dumb showbiz headline. Why do I care? Why

1232
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:41,320
Speaker 1: do I carry? Andrew Paris Hillen said that it felt

1233
01:01:41,320 --> 01:01:43,680
Speaker 1: pretty scary when she once got an offer to make

1234
01:01:43,720 --> 01:01:47,680
Speaker 1: sex dolls just like her. So the big, the big answer,

1235
01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:54,120
Speaker 1: the big question is how much did you make? Listen?

1236
01:01:54,360 --> 01:01:57,400
Speaker 1: I would definitely if I love when porn stars have

1237
01:01:57,520 --> 01:02:00,240
Speaker 1: like molds of their vaginas where you're like, you could

1238
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:03,360
Speaker 1: fun this porn starts like, okay, well that's cool. I

1239
01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:05,840
Speaker 1: wouldn't have a problem making a sex toll for myself

1240
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:09,080
Speaker 1: if my like or like a sex uh like, like

1241
01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:12,960
Speaker 1: a mold of my lower half for someone I was

1242
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:15,240
Speaker 1: in love with to funk if they were like on location,

1243
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:17,080
Speaker 1: Like if I was dating someone that I like had

1244
01:02:17,120 --> 01:02:18,560
Speaker 1: to be out of the seas, I go bring my

1245
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:21,600
Speaker 1: butt with you. That would be hilarious. Want to get

1246
01:02:21,640 --> 01:02:24,640
Speaker 1: a mold, punch him in the legs? You know, yeah

1247
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:28,960
Speaker 1: you can, yeah, but what if what if your director

1248
01:02:29,040 --> 01:02:31,080
Speaker 1: comes over and says I just wanted to go over something,

1249
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:34,120
Speaker 1: or your costumer comes to your room and then all

1250
01:02:34,200 --> 01:02:37,720
Speaker 1: of a sudden they see this. You know, wait a minute,

1251
01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:42,520
Speaker 1: it's him. But I also wanted a mold of ex

1252
01:02:42,520 --> 01:02:45,760
Speaker 1: boyfriends like I've always was like I'm going on the road.

1253
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:48,000
Speaker 1: It would be so fun to like have phone sex

1254
01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:50,200
Speaker 1: and actually like have a mold of like what exactly

1255
01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:52,280
Speaker 1: your penis is? And just like for fun, I wanted

1256
01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:55,080
Speaker 1: a stuffed animal of it. I just like like, um,

1257
01:02:55,240 --> 01:02:57,360
Speaker 1: and I wouldn't. I would be flattered to someone want

1258
01:02:57,400 --> 01:02:59,200
Speaker 1: to do a sex to all of me because there

1259
01:02:59,200 --> 01:03:01,040
Speaker 1: are people that jerk off to me, like and that

1260
01:03:01,160 --> 01:03:02,800
Speaker 1: I don't know that I put up a picture and

1261
01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:05,040
Speaker 1: they hold on a second, my screen is gonna go

1262
01:03:05,120 --> 01:03:16,439
Speaker 1: blank for a minute. Penis for your wife? Bom would I? Um? No?

1263
01:03:16,680 --> 01:03:20,600
Speaker 1: I I would not. And also I feel bad that

1264
01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:24,360
Speaker 1: I misunderstood because I had this crazy scenario that word

1265
01:03:24,480 --> 01:03:28,240
Speaker 1: rubber comes into your room and sees your legs and

1266
01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:32,480
Speaker 1: your vagina and then that would upset your boyfriend. Does

1267
01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:34,600
Speaker 1: none of it makes sense? That none of it does

1268
01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:36,680
Speaker 1: make sense. The only thing that makes sense about it

1269
01:03:36,680 --> 01:03:39,000
Speaker 1: now that I think about it is instead of cheating,

1270
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:41,960
Speaker 1: someone comes to your room thinking they're going to have

1271
01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:46,000
Speaker 1: their hit on you and do something wrong. You don't

1272
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:49,080
Speaker 1: need me. I've got a replication of myself in rubber

1273
01:03:49,360 --> 01:03:52,120
Speaker 1: there you go take with you and I'm out of

1274
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:55,720
Speaker 1: the equation, right? Would you be offended as a man

1275
01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:58,960
Speaker 1: if your girlfriend was like a famous person that guys

1276
01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:02,360
Speaker 1: one have sex with, and she could monetize her vagina

1277
01:04:02,440 --> 01:04:04,240
Speaker 1: by putting out a mold as like a like like

1278
01:04:04,320 --> 01:04:06,800
Speaker 1: say you're dating me the comedian Nicki Glazer, and as

1279
01:04:06,840 --> 01:04:08,720
Speaker 1: a bit where I can make a lot of money.

1280
01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:11,400
Speaker 1: I go, baby, can we please? I want to do

1281
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:13,000
Speaker 1: this thing where they make a mold of my vagina

1282
01:04:13,080 --> 01:04:15,480
Speaker 1: and like these pervy dudes can like say they fucked

1283
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:17,440
Speaker 1: me and it's just it's for a bit. Would you

1284
01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:20,320
Speaker 1: would that annoy you as a man? You would upset

1285
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:22,240
Speaker 1: me to no end. And I think it's a really

1286
01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:24,960
Speaker 1: good idea for merch And it sounds like you have

1287
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:27,960
Speaker 1: a lot more money than me, Bob no I with

1288
01:04:28,160 --> 01:04:30,920
Speaker 1: my bank account. I would make the mold myself. I

1289
01:04:30,920 --> 01:04:35,480
Speaker 1: would let them fuck you. Well, you know what I'm

1290
01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:37,600
Speaker 1: gonna do, because you guys are so great, I'm gonna

1291
01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:40,840
Speaker 1: make a mold of my lower parts. And Nikki, you

1292
01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:43,280
Speaker 1: get me. I just want your feet, know you get

1293
01:04:43,280 --> 01:04:48,439
Speaker 1: the feet, but the other half, lower parts, I want

1294
01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:51,439
Speaker 1: your asshole. But that's what You're not the first person

1295
01:04:51,520 --> 01:04:55,480
Speaker 1: that said that, because I don't need dairy. So it's

1296
01:04:55,520 --> 01:04:59,720
Speaker 1: really quite it's quite clean. It's taught, it's I taught

1297
01:04:59,720 --> 01:05:03,760
Speaker 1: it all. Lot I can, I can flag late in

1298
01:05:03,800 --> 01:05:12,919
Speaker 1: any key. Um, I crown my asshole has perfect pitch fashion. Okay, Bob,

1299
01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:15,840
Speaker 1: let's get to our segment, our special guest segment for

1300
01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:18,600
Speaker 1: Bob Saget. And let me just tell you, Bob, we're

1301
01:05:18,720 --> 01:05:22,320
Speaker 1: keeping this segment titled this for every future guest, So

1302
01:05:22,400 --> 01:05:29,320
Speaker 1: let's get to it. This is Burning Questions for Bob All.

1303
01:05:30,720 --> 01:05:33,440
Speaker 1: This is Burning Questions for Bob with Bob Sagett, our

1304
01:05:33,480 --> 01:05:37,120
Speaker 1: first guest for our segment called Burning Questions with for Bob.

1305
01:05:37,680 --> 01:05:40,040
Speaker 1: This is where we get to ask It's a competition

1306
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:43,560
Speaker 1: of sorts. Noah, my producer, Andrew, my co host, and

1307
01:05:43,680 --> 01:05:46,680
Speaker 1: myself have all picked out one question that we think

1308
01:05:47,040 --> 01:05:51,200
Speaker 1: will be the the most, the best question to ask

1309
01:05:51,240 --> 01:05:53,400
Speaker 1: Bob Saget, the most, the thing that people want to

1310
01:05:53,440 --> 01:05:55,680
Speaker 1: know that will excite people, and we're gonna have a

1311
01:05:55,720 --> 01:05:58,560
Speaker 1: competition to see who asked the best question. I think

1312
01:05:58,600 --> 01:06:02,080
Speaker 1: Bob should be the one to judge after we've gone

1313
01:06:02,080 --> 01:06:04,600
Speaker 1: through it all and to see which question was you

1314
01:06:04,600 --> 01:06:07,680
Speaker 1: know whatever best means to you, Bob in this scenario.

1315
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,440
Speaker 1: So um, I want to say, this whole segment is

1316
01:06:10,560 --> 01:06:13,880
Speaker 1: very triggering for me. Okay, you have to pick a winner.

1317
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:18,160
Speaker 1: I can't do that. I feel bad for the other people.

1318
01:06:20,360 --> 01:06:23,800
Speaker 1: All right, Bob, let's start and think against Chappelle. I

1319
01:06:23,800 --> 01:06:26,040
Speaker 1: should get with the wind this, you know what I mean.

1320
01:06:26,120 --> 01:06:28,080
Speaker 1: I think it's only you can win this, and you're

1321
01:06:28,080 --> 01:06:31,040
Speaker 1: getting my butt hole. So that's true. We are getting

1322
01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:36,280
Speaker 1: a molded. I really do want a little like almost

1323
01:06:36,440 --> 01:06:40,360
Speaker 1: as a coaster for how big do you think his

1324
01:06:40,440 --> 01:06:43,200
Speaker 1: asshole is? But we go bigger, we we we this

1325
01:06:43,360 --> 01:06:45,560
Speaker 1: sent well, I don't know. Well, this is first a

1326
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:48,200
Speaker 1: Red Bull Cans coaster for red Bull cans. That is

1327
01:06:48,280 --> 01:06:53,520
Speaker 1: just Bob, That's how I designed it. I'm using red

1328
01:06:53,560 --> 01:06:57,080
Speaker 1: Bull cans because I got a monster. Oh my god,

1329
01:06:57,120 --> 01:06:59,760
Speaker 1: my asshole goes crazy if I drink this sugar free RedBull.

1330
01:07:00,200 --> 01:07:02,959
Speaker 1: First question, Andrew, burning question? What is your burning question

1331
01:07:02,960 --> 01:07:04,840
Speaker 1: for Bob? Try I gotta go first. I don't know

1332
01:07:04,880 --> 01:07:07,480
Speaker 1: if it's good to go first, but I think you've

1333
01:07:07,520 --> 01:07:10,320
Speaker 1: probably been asked this before, probably, But so that's kind

1334
01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:14,960
Speaker 1: of already eliminating myself. But when you did Entourage, right,

1335
01:07:15,600 --> 01:07:18,280
Speaker 1: you were you were seeing a casual fan of yours

1336
01:07:18,280 --> 01:07:22,160
Speaker 1: would know you from obviously from uh funniest home videos

1337
01:07:22,240 --> 01:07:26,439
Speaker 1: and and uh, well I was gonna if I said

1338
01:07:26,480 --> 01:07:29,400
Speaker 1: home improvement, I probably would have lost behind. You could

1339
01:07:29,400 --> 01:07:31,360
Speaker 1: have said, yeah, no, he does things around the house,

1340
01:07:31,560 --> 01:07:36,280
Speaker 1: he does home improvements. Anyways, when you decided to take

1341
01:07:36,320 --> 01:07:41,360
Speaker 1: that role, because for me and Entourage, did your agent

1342
01:07:41,480 --> 01:07:43,320
Speaker 1: or manager go, hey, I don't know if you should

1343
01:07:43,320 --> 01:07:45,400
Speaker 1: do this. You're gonna be fucking hookers and doing drugs

1344
01:07:45,400 --> 01:07:48,600
Speaker 1: in this. They said that. When I took the role

1345
01:07:48,640 --> 01:07:53,960
Speaker 1: on Full House, they were but like, what is that

1346
01:07:54,040 --> 01:07:55,760
Speaker 1: a big deal for you to go, hey, you know what,

1347
01:07:55,840 --> 01:07:58,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna show that I'm not the squeaky clean guy

1348
01:07:58,200 --> 01:08:00,600
Speaker 1: and there. Did you already have enough money or I

1349
01:08:00,600 --> 01:08:02,680
Speaker 1: don't know know, because I've been the stand up that

1350
01:08:02,760 --> 01:08:06,200
Speaker 1: I've been since I was fourteen years old seventeen years old,

1351
01:08:06,320 --> 01:08:09,840
Speaker 1: so I already was doing the Full House thing and

1352
01:08:09,920 --> 01:08:12,160
Speaker 1: the American's Funny Some videos as a gift that I

1353
01:08:12,200 --> 01:08:15,480
Speaker 1: was doing family television. So it's just called a different speed.

1354
01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:17,920
Speaker 1: It's just a different thing you do. I've done plays

1355
01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:21,000
Speaker 1: on Broadway where I played a priest, you know, uh,

1356
01:08:21,240 --> 01:08:23,280
Speaker 1: not all of them priests every play I do. I

1357
01:08:23,320 --> 01:08:27,520
Speaker 1: only play a priest. But but yeah, Doug Ellen contacted

1358
01:08:27,520 --> 01:08:30,040
Speaker 1: me and said he knew my stand up and said,

1359
01:08:30,080 --> 01:08:31,880
Speaker 1: we want you to be on the show. And then

1360
01:08:31,880 --> 01:08:34,200
Speaker 1: they wrote it differently. They wrote it where I was

1361
01:08:34,280 --> 01:08:38,599
Speaker 1: more like a Don Trodden guy. Uh, like a bow

1362
01:08:38,680 --> 01:08:41,360
Speaker 1: Jack horseman kind of guy. And that's not who I am.

1363
01:08:41,439 --> 01:08:43,120
Speaker 1: And some people think that, by the way, that that's

1364
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:46,080
Speaker 1: based on me. And I talked to but will our

1365
01:08:46,160 --> 01:08:48,960
Speaker 1: Nett said, well, I know, because they're idiots. And will

1366
01:08:48,960 --> 01:08:51,240
Speaker 1: our Neette said, I don't know what you're talking about.

1367
01:08:51,280 --> 01:08:55,400
Speaker 1: You you're nothing like me and you're not bo Jack.

1368
01:08:55,479 --> 01:08:59,679
Speaker 1: Don't worry about it, don't listen to it. So that's

1369
01:08:59,760 --> 01:09:04,639
Speaker 1: that is so funny. But it's all rumors and I'm

1370
01:09:04,720 --> 01:09:08,240
Speaker 1: just I guess being no press is good press, dude,

1371
01:09:09,120 --> 01:09:12,000
Speaker 1: that's really true. Yeah, it's true though. Don't you believe

1372
01:09:12,040 --> 01:09:14,680
Speaker 1: that's true. He cuts people's feet off and each of them.

1373
01:09:14,680 --> 01:09:16,880
Speaker 1: That's not good press. You know that. Oh I didn't

1374
01:09:16,880 --> 01:09:18,880
Speaker 1: know that. I only I didn't do that. I just

1375
01:09:19,200 --> 01:09:22,360
Speaker 1: I started it today, that new rumor. But Okaya Oh,

1376
01:09:22,439 --> 01:09:24,519
Speaker 1: I see, I thought, I'm like that show took it

1377
01:09:24,600 --> 01:09:28,000
Speaker 1: to No. No, I was just talking about myself, right.

1378
01:09:28,520 --> 01:09:30,360
Speaker 1: I was like, horse, don't even have that kind of mouth,

1379
01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:32,120
Speaker 1: and you do have to cut up your it is.

1380
01:09:32,320 --> 01:09:36,559
Speaker 1: It is an amazing show, by the way, great great show,

1381
01:09:36,640 --> 01:09:38,559
Speaker 1: but no it's not basically because the guy's a loser

1382
01:09:38,600 --> 01:09:41,680
Speaker 1: and sad and all that stuff. And anyway that what

1383
01:09:41,760 --> 01:09:44,040
Speaker 1: Doug Allen said to me is what do you want

1384
01:09:44,040 --> 01:09:46,720
Speaker 1: to do? And I'll play it if I can be

1385
01:09:46,880 --> 01:09:50,160
Speaker 1: like a ballsy, badass guy. And then he wrote that

1386
01:09:50,280 --> 01:09:52,160
Speaker 1: and that's what I did like four or five times

1387
01:09:52,200 --> 01:09:54,120
Speaker 1: on the show. And I had a lot of fun.

1388
01:09:54,280 --> 01:09:56,599
Speaker 1: You know. It's just but that show couldn't get made

1389
01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:58,639
Speaker 1: now and I wouldn't act the way I acted, which

1390
01:09:58,680 --> 01:10:02,280
Speaker 1: was quite misogynistic. But it was Phoebus was a character,

1391
01:10:02,600 --> 01:10:06,880
Speaker 1: and it was yourself, your name. That's why I want

1392
01:10:06,880 --> 01:10:09,080
Speaker 1: to That's why I asked a question, because you know,

1393
01:10:09,720 --> 01:10:12,439
Speaker 1: being your name, obviously people connected it. Oh this is

1394
01:10:12,479 --> 01:10:14,640
Speaker 1: how really Bob? I mean, he's awesome. Well, we know

1395
01:10:14,680 --> 01:10:19,320
Speaker 1: how smart people are, so they they really well and

1396
01:10:19,320 --> 01:10:21,879
Speaker 1: they always going to go to is that Anthony Hopkins

1397
01:10:21,880 --> 01:10:23,880
Speaker 1: these people because he played that in the movie, so

1398
01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:27,800
Speaker 1: you know, and now he's Hannibal Elector. He was Handibal Elector.

1399
01:10:27,840 --> 01:10:31,040
Speaker 1: Now he's the father. So he has you know, alzheimerzard dementia,

1400
01:10:31,240 --> 01:10:33,639
Speaker 1: which means that he's still Hannibal Elector to some people.

1401
01:10:33,680 --> 01:10:37,360
Speaker 1: But he just forgot who he ate. And then is

1402
01:10:37,400 --> 01:10:41,040
Speaker 1: he really a cannibal anymore? If you don't remember, I

1403
01:10:41,080 --> 01:10:43,560
Speaker 1: think you are. I think you are. Okay, you ate

1404
01:10:43,640 --> 01:10:49,720
Speaker 1: somebody set them free? Okay, yeah, ok what Bob Sag

1405
01:10:49,800 --> 01:10:51,320
Speaker 1: is just always tying it up in a bow that

1406
01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:53,720
Speaker 1: you go, yeah, that'll work. That's why I played That's

1407
01:10:53,720 --> 01:10:56,280
Speaker 1: why I played Danny Tanner, because everything's like, it's gonna

1408
01:10:56,280 --> 01:11:00,920
Speaker 1: be okay, honey, ms Uncle Jesse's to save your problem.

1409
01:11:01,120 --> 01:11:03,800
Speaker 1: I know, No, you are, Bob. You're gonna come into

1410
01:11:03,840 --> 01:11:06,880
Speaker 1: my bedroom and and and give me a hug and

1411
01:11:06,880 --> 01:11:08,920
Speaker 1: talk to me about my feelings and music will start

1412
01:11:08,920 --> 01:11:10,960
Speaker 1: playing and you'll help me process my feelings and know

1413
01:11:11,040 --> 01:11:14,240
Speaker 1: that it's okay to cry. And then you're not there.

1414
01:11:14,280 --> 01:11:16,040
Speaker 1: You're on the road and it's just your rubber of

1415
01:11:16,080 --> 01:11:20,960
Speaker 1: vagina and late and Steamless is already fucking it. So well,

1416
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:24,639
Speaker 1: then then I run. I videotape it on my phone

1417
01:11:25,080 --> 01:11:29,559
Speaker 1: and I basically hold him ransom, you know, Oh my god,

1418
01:11:30,080 --> 01:11:34,799
Speaker 1: you yeah, I'm Nikki. I'm just gonna make a Tanner jokast.

1419
01:11:35,080 --> 01:11:37,320
Speaker 1: I always related to Stephanie Tanner, but I was like,

1420
01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:43,400
Speaker 1: I'm I'm Stephanie self Tanner because my fee right now,

1421
01:11:43,439 --> 01:11:46,200
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's just like stripes of orange. Okay, Bob,

1422
01:11:46,280 --> 01:11:49,719
Speaker 1: second burning question, I will I will do mine, Bob.

1423
01:11:50,280 --> 01:11:52,840
Speaker 1: Who you don't need to name names, but you can

1424
01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:56,559
Speaker 1: just tell us, um what you witnessed? What's my mother?

1425
01:11:56,640 --> 01:12:01,400
Speaker 1: And I can't believe it? And it was a sheet? Okay,

1426
01:12:01,439 --> 01:12:05,360
Speaker 1: noh your questions up? Now? What was the most egregious

1427
01:12:05,520 --> 01:12:09,280
Speaker 1: abuse of power you witnessed that you can talk about

1428
01:12:09,640 --> 01:12:14,240
Speaker 1: from a celebrity who you may have thought good things

1429
01:12:14,240 --> 01:12:16,120
Speaker 1: about before you met them, and then you go, oh

1430
01:12:16,160 --> 01:12:21,080
Speaker 1: my god, what a monster? I just want to can't. Yeah,

1431
01:12:21,200 --> 01:12:25,240
Speaker 1: you have to do like those you know, James Cordon

1432
01:12:25,439 --> 01:12:28,280
Speaker 1: bits where you have to either drink the hot sauce

1433
01:12:28,439 --> 01:12:31,360
Speaker 1: or you don't have to say who this is. I

1434
01:12:31,400 --> 01:12:34,200
Speaker 1: just want to see a behavior of a celebrity you witnessed,

1435
01:12:34,280 --> 01:12:37,120
Speaker 1: where you go, whoa that person is? Not what I

1436
01:12:37,160 --> 01:12:40,759
Speaker 1: thought or that's not what I want to be famous.

1437
01:12:40,880 --> 01:12:43,120
Speaker 1: I can't say who it was, but it was, it

1438
01:12:43,240 --> 01:12:46,600
Speaker 1: was scary and it was it was not what I expected.

1439
01:12:47,320 --> 01:12:52,320
Speaker 1: And uh and the person has, uh I believe been

1440
01:12:52,560 --> 01:12:56,599
Speaker 1: met with justice for that kind of behavior. Oh good,

1441
01:12:57,080 --> 01:13:02,960
Speaker 1: because you know a lot of people I know and everybody,

1442
01:13:03,080 --> 01:13:09,560
Speaker 1: but O J that's so funny. I um yeah, I

1443
01:13:10,040 --> 01:13:12,559
Speaker 1: just so I I witnessed things sometimes that I'm just like,

1444
01:13:12,640 --> 01:13:15,120
Speaker 1: oh God, you don't or you hear stories and you go,

1445
01:13:15,479 --> 01:13:18,120
Speaker 1: I just want more people to understand that that person

1446
01:13:18,200 --> 01:13:20,120
Speaker 1: isn't what they claim to be, and like, how do

1447
01:13:20,160 --> 01:13:21,599
Speaker 1: they get away with that? How do they keep working

1448
01:13:21,600 --> 01:13:23,800
Speaker 1: when they treat people like that behind the scenes, which

1449
01:13:23,920 --> 01:13:26,439
Speaker 1: behind the scenes is really in front of hundreds of people,

1450
01:13:26,680 --> 01:13:29,000
Speaker 1: like you know that all signed n d A s.

1451
01:13:29,080 --> 01:13:31,519
Speaker 1: But you know, things leak and you find out who

1452
01:13:31,600 --> 01:13:35,720
Speaker 1: someone's really is. Um. I just wanted to ask you

1453
01:13:35,760 --> 01:13:38,639
Speaker 1: that because I also have witnessed. It's nice to hear

1454
01:13:38,680 --> 01:13:40,639
Speaker 1: that they've been brought to justice, because I've heard about

1455
01:13:40,680 --> 01:13:43,200
Speaker 1: stories about people and they haven't been brought to justice

1456
01:13:43,520 --> 01:13:45,320
Speaker 1: and I'm not the one to do it, and you

1457
01:13:45,360 --> 01:13:47,800
Speaker 1: feel kind of like what do I do? And you

1458
01:13:47,840 --> 01:13:49,800
Speaker 1: just kind of wait, you know, until and then you

1459
01:13:50,120 --> 01:13:53,160
Speaker 1: breathe a sigh of relief when it finally shows up

1460
01:13:53,200 --> 01:13:56,240
Speaker 1: in the headlines. But it's a it's a tricky it's

1461
01:13:56,240 --> 01:14:00,320
Speaker 1: a tricky thing because you people go, we're even watching

1462
01:14:00,320 --> 01:14:02,479
Speaker 1: the Morning Show right now, and it's about a guy

1463
01:14:02,479 --> 01:14:04,920
Speaker 1: that got me too, and everyone's like, who knew it?

1464
01:14:04,960 --> 01:14:07,439
Speaker 1: And it's like a lot of people but like, you're

1465
01:14:07,439 --> 01:14:10,320
Speaker 1: gonna get fired if you We've we've talked about me.

1466
01:14:12,120 --> 01:14:13,639
Speaker 1: I know you have a time limit on your show.

1467
01:14:13,680 --> 01:14:17,640
Speaker 1: But it's really strange, UM, because I used to go

1468
01:14:17,680 --> 01:14:20,080
Speaker 1: on the Today Show quite a bit. Obviously it's based

1469
01:14:20,160 --> 01:14:25,040
Speaker 1: on that The Morning Show. And I'm just gonna be honest.

1470
01:14:25,120 --> 01:14:27,280
Speaker 1: I always got along well with Matt Loward. We had

1471
01:14:27,280 --> 01:14:31,679
Speaker 1: a television relationship and and there's a scene in that

1472
01:14:31,720 --> 01:14:36,000
Speaker 1: show where they celebrate his fiftieth birthday. Um, and that's

1473
01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:38,240
Speaker 1: a big scene. I'm not giving a spoiler alert, they

1474
01:14:38,280 --> 01:14:42,760
Speaker 1: celebrate it. So I this is really strange. When Matt

1475
01:14:42,800 --> 01:14:46,479
Speaker 1: Loward turned fifty, I was there the day after they

1476
01:14:46,479 --> 01:14:49,519
Speaker 1: had a birthday party for him because he wanted to

1477
01:14:49,520 --> 01:14:51,760
Speaker 1: talk about what's it like to turn fifty and he

1478
01:14:51,840 --> 01:14:56,760
Speaker 1: had he had myself and he had on um oh

1479
01:14:56,800 --> 01:15:02,719
Speaker 1: god uh. He owns the Atlanta Mark Cuban Cuban and

1480
01:15:02,920 --> 01:15:05,960
Speaker 1: he had on Scott Hamilton's The Skater and the three

1481
01:15:06,000 --> 01:15:08,839
Speaker 1: of us talking about what it's like to be fifty. Um,

1482
01:15:08,920 --> 01:15:11,040
Speaker 1: and you did that classic bit about picking up the

1483
01:15:11,040 --> 01:15:13,000
Speaker 1: phone and breaking your arm. No, I didn't do Dana's

1484
01:15:13,040 --> 01:15:16,519
Speaker 1: Big pretty much. I think just did two minutes of

1485
01:15:16,560 --> 01:15:20,240
Speaker 1: prosnate material and everyone stared at me. But what was

1486
01:15:20,320 --> 01:15:22,599
Speaker 1: interesting was I was watching the Morning Show and oh

1487
01:15:22,640 --> 01:15:25,280
Speaker 1: my god, if this is anywhere near what it's supposed

1488
01:15:25,320 --> 01:15:28,840
Speaker 1: to be based on, I was there that day, that

1489
01:15:28,960 --> 01:15:32,679
Speaker 1: day after that party on the on air. I haven't

1490
01:15:32,720 --> 01:15:35,600
Speaker 1: seen that episode yet, but I'm intrigued to hear the

1491
01:15:35,640 --> 01:15:38,519
Speaker 1: one that you're talking about. And I roasted Matt Lauer.

1492
01:15:38,920 --> 01:15:40,680
Speaker 1: I don't like roast, right, and you've done a lot

1493
01:15:40,720 --> 01:15:43,599
Speaker 1: of them, and you're amazing at them. You've been roasted

1494
01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:47,200
Speaker 1: roast on Comedy Central, and some of the gen Z

1495
01:15:47,360 --> 01:15:50,400
Speaker 1: believe that's the news, that that is the news. You know,

1496
01:15:50,439 --> 01:15:53,960
Speaker 1: what someone says about you is real, because otherwise they

1497
01:15:53,960 --> 01:15:56,280
Speaker 1: wouldn't joke about it, which means they don't know anything

1498
01:15:56,280 --> 01:16:00,120
Speaker 1: about anything. Because it's just the opposite. It's it's it's

1499
01:16:00,160 --> 01:16:04,360
Speaker 1: disturb you. But what happened was I roasted Matt Lauer

1500
01:16:04,400 --> 01:16:07,360
Speaker 1: and this was obviously pre all the stuff that came out.

1501
01:16:07,640 --> 01:16:09,240
Speaker 1: And if I had known all that stuff, I would

1502
01:16:09,240 --> 01:16:14,439
Speaker 1: have had an extra forty minutes of material. I wouldn't

1503
01:16:14,439 --> 01:16:18,120
Speaker 1: have done it. If any of that had come out,

1504
01:16:18,439 --> 01:16:20,800
Speaker 1: the rose wouldn't have happen. And you know, it would

1505
01:16:20,840 --> 01:16:23,840
Speaker 1: have saved me a trip to New York and making

1506
01:16:23,880 --> 01:16:27,719
Speaker 1: fun of you know, Al Roker who accidentally flast related

1507
01:16:27,760 --> 01:16:30,200
Speaker 1: in his pants once. Oh my god, that was so funny.

1508
01:16:30,360 --> 01:16:32,400
Speaker 1: I will say, though, you're right about that, Bob, where

1509
01:16:32,400 --> 01:16:34,880
Speaker 1: people take those roast as news because there was a

1510
01:16:35,240 --> 01:16:39,080
Speaker 1: someone got canceled or was trying someone was about you know,

1511
01:16:39,160 --> 01:16:41,320
Speaker 1: they were making an effort to cancel someone in an

1512
01:16:41,400 --> 01:16:43,439
Speaker 1: article and they used one of my roast jokes about

1513
01:16:43,479 --> 01:16:47,280
Speaker 1: this person as like factual evidence of like see there's

1514
01:16:47,280 --> 01:16:50,200
Speaker 1: a history, Nikki knew he was a predator, And I'm like,

1515
01:16:50,520 --> 01:16:52,800
Speaker 1: I was just writing a fucking roast, you know, like

1516
01:16:53,040 --> 01:16:56,519
Speaker 1: this isn't you can't quote a Comedy Central roast in

1517
01:16:56,560 --> 01:16:59,680
Speaker 1: a news article, but you can't. And it was just

1518
01:16:59,720 --> 01:17:02,800
Speaker 1: fell same dirty they came to me and it's weird

1519
01:17:02,840 --> 01:17:05,599
Speaker 1: because they go, oh, it's true, because Bob was laughing

1520
01:17:05,640 --> 01:17:07,439
Speaker 1: at it. The truth of it is when they did

1521
01:17:07,479 --> 01:17:09,800
Speaker 1: my roast, and I believe you were in elementary school

1522
01:17:09,800 --> 01:17:12,519
Speaker 1: when they did mine. But it's um, it's actually behind

1523
01:17:12,520 --> 01:17:14,000
Speaker 1: me on the wall. There there you go, there's the

1524
01:17:14,080 --> 01:17:17,920
Speaker 1: roast up there on the wall. Yeah. What happened was, Um,

1525
01:17:18,080 --> 01:17:20,679
Speaker 1: I was sitting there and Greg Giralda, the late great

1526
01:17:20,880 --> 01:17:23,560
Speaker 1: Greg Giralda, who I loved so much. They started the

1527
01:17:23,680 --> 01:17:28,479
Speaker 1: roast Joe Gallan's directing, producing, and I'm right, and I'm there.

1528
01:17:28,560 --> 01:17:33,200
Speaker 1: He actually benefit he Oh my gosh, he just did

1529
01:17:33,240 --> 01:17:35,320
Speaker 1: the I heart rewards that I did. And I love

1530
01:17:36,160 --> 01:17:40,120
Speaker 1: You're the only You're very good in around. Um, I

1531
01:17:40,120 --> 01:17:43,439
Speaker 1: didn't mean that in comedic situation. Right, you were talking

1532
01:17:43,479 --> 01:17:50,920
Speaker 1: about my upcoming. Let's talking about many men. Oh my god,

1533
01:17:51,000 --> 01:17:54,400
Speaker 1: you please. You don't know how much I think about that.

1534
01:17:54,439 --> 01:17:57,479
Speaker 1: All right, one nicky forty cups is the name of it.

1535
01:17:57,520 --> 01:18:01,080
Speaker 1: I believe. But what happened was about to end my story,

1536
01:18:01,080 --> 01:18:03,600
Speaker 1: which I'm talking too long. You shouldn't have me. I

1537
01:18:03,640 --> 01:18:06,519
Speaker 1: should have been your last. But you're great, Okay, you're better.

1538
01:18:06,600 --> 01:18:10,040
Speaker 1: But here, the thing is, I'm sitting there. Greg Giraldo

1539
01:18:10,120 --> 01:18:12,760
Speaker 1: says that I look like the lastic pickles stork with

1540
01:18:12,800 --> 01:18:15,880
Speaker 1: my beak, my beaky nose and my granny glasses, and

1541
01:18:15,920 --> 01:18:18,759
Speaker 1: I'm just in shock and I'm not laughing. I'm not smiling,

1542
01:18:18,920 --> 01:18:22,519
Speaker 1: and Joe Gallant over the p A goes Bob, trying

1543
01:18:22,520 --> 01:18:24,439
Speaker 1: to make it look like you're having a good time.

1544
01:18:24,800 --> 01:18:27,880
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's hilarious, and so then I start

1545
01:18:27,960 --> 01:18:30,960
Speaker 1: smiling and that's what and that's why you laughed at

1546
01:18:30,960 --> 01:18:33,519
Speaker 1: the one joke, and then that confirms that it must

1547
01:18:33,560 --> 01:18:38,240
Speaker 1: be true. Yeah, true, I laughed. Well, it's interesting that

1548
01:18:38,280 --> 01:18:40,400
Speaker 1: you weren't laughing, because that is a huge part of

1549
01:18:40,400 --> 01:18:43,320
Speaker 1: those rows, is that you you start getting hurt so

1550
01:18:43,400 --> 01:18:46,160
Speaker 1: badly and you forget that you're on camera and that

1551
01:18:46,360 --> 01:18:48,960
Speaker 1: it's essential for you to laugh. And it's hurting people

1552
01:18:48,960 --> 01:18:51,960
Speaker 1: that don't care about it's hurting. It really is. It's

1553
01:18:52,120 --> 01:18:54,000
Speaker 1: it's not fun. I don't know if I could do

1554
01:18:54,040 --> 01:18:57,480
Speaker 1: it again. Honestly, I enjoyed the ones that aren't televised.

1555
01:18:57,520 --> 01:18:59,439
Speaker 1: That was the idea of them is they weren't supposed

1556
01:18:59,479 --> 01:19:02,400
Speaker 1: to be the club and the masters in the fifties,

1557
01:19:02,439 --> 01:19:05,960
Speaker 1: I guess, but I I roasted Jack black Uh for

1558
01:19:06,120 --> 01:19:08,240
Speaker 1: the Friars Club and that goes for charities, and it

1559
01:19:08,320 --> 01:19:10,599
Speaker 1: was two thousand people of the Hilton, New York. And

1560
01:19:10,920 --> 01:19:13,519
Speaker 1: I always felt bad for what a joke I did

1561
01:19:13,560 --> 01:19:16,960
Speaker 1: about Al Roker, who was there, and he spoke and

1562
01:19:16,960 --> 01:19:19,439
Speaker 1: he was wonderful. But it was right around the time

1563
01:19:19,479 --> 01:19:22,080
Speaker 1: where he was so brave to come out and talk

1564
01:19:22,120 --> 01:19:25,960
Speaker 1: about what happens if you can't control your vowels, and

1565
01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:28,679
Speaker 1: he'd had an accident, so I said, as the host,

1566
01:19:29,080 --> 01:19:31,680
Speaker 1: if anybody has to go to the bathroom, please use

1567
01:19:31,760 --> 01:19:36,320
Speaker 1: Al Roker's pants. Hilarious, So you know that he loved that.

1568
01:19:38,400 --> 01:19:40,479
Speaker 1: He was amazing. He came up to me and he

1569
01:19:40,520 --> 01:19:44,599
Speaker 1: went Bob, I went out, I'm sorry, it just happened.

1570
01:19:44,600 --> 01:19:47,200
Speaker 1: It's three days old this news. I said, Okay, to

1571
01:19:47,280 --> 01:19:50,880
Speaker 1: hug you or real stuff come out. And that's and

1572
01:19:50,920 --> 01:19:53,200
Speaker 1: I've since been on his show. I mean, he is

1573
01:19:53,240 --> 01:19:56,320
Speaker 1: one of the sweetest people on the earth. Yeah, he

1574
01:19:56,439 --> 01:19:59,000
Speaker 1: seems like it. I love I love Al Roker. Okay, no,

1575
01:19:59,320 --> 01:20:02,960
Speaker 1: let's round us out, Bob Burning questions for Bob with

1576
01:20:03,000 --> 01:20:06,599
Speaker 1: Bob Sagett, What is your burden? Question? Noah. My burning

1577
01:20:06,680 --> 01:20:10,519
Speaker 1: question is I'm going to assume that you slid into

1578
01:20:10,560 --> 01:20:14,759
Speaker 1: your wife's d ms Kelly of E Travel rock Um,

1579
01:20:14,800 --> 01:20:16,599
Speaker 1: and I would like to know what was the line

1580
01:20:16,640 --> 01:20:19,519
Speaker 1: that got her to respond, You're you're very sweet. That

1581
01:20:19,600 --> 01:20:22,160
Speaker 1: was an easy Google nor one too, that was that's

1582
01:20:22,520 --> 01:20:24,600
Speaker 1: really there's an article about it that I slid in,

1583
01:20:25,439 --> 01:20:28,800
Speaker 1: which sounds horrific. That's so crude. But what happened was

1584
01:20:29,120 --> 01:20:32,640
Speaker 1: we had to do it. I actually saw her. I

1585
01:20:32,680 --> 01:20:35,599
Speaker 1: was on a debt dating site Riah for a moment.

1586
01:20:36,640 --> 01:20:40,439
Speaker 1: The only person they patched me up with was Courtney Love.

1587
01:20:40,600 --> 01:20:43,320
Speaker 1: And so because I put my real age and I

1588
01:20:43,360 --> 01:20:47,680
Speaker 1: didn't lie, and I was out of relationships and I

1589
01:20:47,720 --> 01:20:49,920
Speaker 1: was just sad, and so I had a Jack come

1590
01:20:49,920 --> 01:20:52,080
Speaker 1: on right, I've been on there for fucking ten years.

1591
01:20:52,160 --> 01:20:56,479
Speaker 1: I think, no judgment here, no right, But I love it. Yeah,

1592
01:20:56,520 --> 01:20:59,040
Speaker 1: I was on it literally for two months. But I

1593
01:20:59,080 --> 01:21:02,200
Speaker 1: was on there. It was just depressing music of me,

1594
01:21:02,800 --> 01:21:06,280
Speaker 1: just like in the Woods by myself. It just looked

1595
01:21:06,280 --> 01:21:08,920
Speaker 1: like a joke. It was like Jack Handy. That is

1596
01:21:09,000 --> 01:21:11,320
Speaker 1: so funny because if people don't know on Ryan, you

1597
01:21:11,360 --> 01:21:13,120
Speaker 1: need to pick a song and then you pick all

1598
01:21:13,120 --> 01:21:16,200
Speaker 1: these pictures and your photos like you know, fade into

1599
01:21:16,240 --> 01:21:18,840
Speaker 1: one another like this, like like a funeral slide show

1600
01:21:18,960 --> 01:21:21,360
Speaker 1: for someone. And for Bob to pick a sad song

1601
01:21:21,479 --> 01:21:25,400
Speaker 1: with just him in the woods is so funny. Left

1602
01:21:25,400 --> 01:21:27,720
Speaker 1: me alone. And then but I had been matched up

1603
01:21:27,760 --> 01:21:30,800
Speaker 1: with this person, Kelly Rizzo, and I looked at her

1604
01:21:30,840 --> 01:21:33,759
Speaker 1: and she was you know, she was a producer of segments.

1605
01:21:33,760 --> 01:21:36,280
Speaker 1: She'd been on a lot of TV shows. And then

1606
01:21:36,320 --> 01:21:39,720
Speaker 1: I let you click on someone's Instagram and she's just

1607
01:21:39,760 --> 01:21:43,559
Speaker 1: a decent, good person from Chicago. And then I went, well,

1608
01:21:43,720 --> 01:21:47,080
Speaker 1: she's in media. So I I contacted Rokan, who was

1609
01:21:47,120 --> 01:21:49,679
Speaker 1: a radio and television person in Chicago, and I said,

1610
01:21:49,720 --> 01:21:51,639
Speaker 1: do you know Kelly Rizzo? He said yeah, I said

1611
01:21:51,760 --> 01:21:54,519
Speaker 1: she nice. He said she's a great gal. I said, well,

1612
01:21:54,880 --> 01:21:57,040
Speaker 1: I'm not matching up whether because she probably wants someone

1613
01:21:57,080 --> 01:22:02,800
Speaker 1: that's younger and um, not me with depressing music and

1614
01:22:02,800 --> 01:22:05,599
Speaker 1: and he said, and the fact in the woods and

1615
01:22:05,760 --> 01:22:09,280
Speaker 1: scheme by myself on the slopes and this is where

1616
01:22:09,280 --> 01:22:12,639
Speaker 1: they got bow Jack from that that would have made sense.

1617
01:22:13,840 --> 01:22:16,439
Speaker 1: So that was just depressed over relationship, not ever being

1618
01:22:16,720 --> 01:22:20,719
Speaker 1: a drunken husband, but m and a horse. But what happened?

1619
01:22:20,720 --> 01:22:24,880
Speaker 1: Was she um? He asked her, is it okay if

1620
01:22:24,880 --> 01:22:28,000
Speaker 1: Bob saget? I asked permission? May I send her a

1621
01:22:28,040 --> 01:22:31,720
Speaker 1: direct message on Instagram? And she said sure, that'd be okay.

1622
01:22:31,880 --> 01:22:33,760
Speaker 1: What does he want? And he said, well, I have

1623
01:22:33,840 --> 01:22:37,559
Speaker 1: a feeling that he would like He likes you, but

1624
01:22:37,640 --> 01:22:40,040
Speaker 1: he doesn't know you, so he just wanted to know.

1625
01:22:40,280 --> 01:22:42,720
Speaker 1: And so I My line to answer your question from

1626
01:22:42,760 --> 01:22:48,040
Speaker 1: four hundred minutes ago was was, um, uh, hey, it's

1627
01:22:48,120 --> 01:22:51,040
Speaker 1: Bob Roe gave me. I said it was okay to

1628
01:22:51,360 --> 01:22:54,120
Speaker 1: direct message you, which means nikky. I asked for permission.

1629
01:22:54,479 --> 01:22:56,920
Speaker 1: It wasn't like I did anything stocky or weird, but

1630
01:22:56,960 --> 01:22:59,200
Speaker 1: it still felt weird. Nothing about this is weird even

1631
01:22:59,200 --> 01:23:02,200
Speaker 1: if you didn't ask it. It's funny you combined old

1632
01:23:02,200 --> 01:23:04,640
Speaker 1: school with new school, Like you match with her on right,

1633
01:23:04,680 --> 01:23:06,519
Speaker 1: you could have wrote a message there. No, I didn't

1634
01:23:06,520 --> 01:23:11,160
Speaker 1: match because I met she did not have her age

1635
01:23:11,200 --> 01:23:13,599
Speaker 1: limits set to what you are. Because she's a younger lady.

1636
01:23:13,640 --> 01:23:20,439
Speaker 1: She's she is, yeah, but she should tell her fucking body, well,

1637
01:23:20,640 --> 01:23:23,800
Speaker 1: she's pretty great. When we're done here, I'm making a

1638
01:23:23,880 --> 01:23:28,720
Speaker 1: mold but um yeah. But what happened is then I

1639
01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:31,280
Speaker 1: just direct message or something like, hey, if you're ever

1640
01:23:31,280 --> 01:23:34,240
Speaker 1: in l A, I'll buy you twenty five hamburgers because

1641
01:23:34,280 --> 01:23:37,360
Speaker 1: she's quite a foodie, and or I'll buy you five lobsters.

1642
01:23:37,400 --> 01:23:40,879
Speaker 1: I was like, I assumed that she ate like fat bastard.

1643
01:23:40,920 --> 01:23:43,960
Speaker 1: Apparently I don't know what I was doing offering immense

1644
01:23:44,000 --> 01:23:46,800
Speaker 1: amounts of food. And I said, I hope this isn't weird,

1645
01:23:46,960 --> 01:23:50,040
Speaker 1: you know, I I'm sorry if this was. But Rose

1646
01:23:50,080 --> 01:23:52,240
Speaker 1: said it was cool. And then she said, well, in fact,

1647
01:23:52,280 --> 01:23:54,760
Speaker 1: I'll be in l A in like two weeks. And

1648
01:23:54,800 --> 01:23:57,200
Speaker 1: then she had her entourage of people or producer of

1649
01:23:57,240 --> 01:23:59,200
Speaker 1: stuff she was filming, and someone else. So I went

1650
01:23:59,240 --> 01:24:01,400
Speaker 1: to dinner with your nights in a row with her

1651
01:24:01,439 --> 01:24:06,679
Speaker 1: friends and nothing, really nothing. There was one kiss, an

1652
01:24:06,680 --> 01:24:10,280
Speaker 1: awkward kiss, at the end of one evening, and I thought, well,

1653
01:24:10,320 --> 01:24:14,040
Speaker 1: this isn't happening, and that's cool because I don't. I'd

1654
01:24:14,120 --> 01:24:17,880
Speaker 1: never been a predator. I've been people have thought that

1655
01:24:17,920 --> 01:24:20,639
Speaker 1: I've been because that's the swaggery image that I put

1656
01:24:20,640 --> 01:24:22,240
Speaker 1: out because I was single. I've been divorced for my

1657
01:24:22,240 --> 01:24:26,360
Speaker 1: first wife for twenty three years or something, and so um.

1658
01:24:26,560 --> 01:24:29,920
Speaker 1: Then I she said, are you coming dinner tomorrow night.

1659
01:24:29,960 --> 01:24:32,840
Speaker 1: I went, well, I don't think so, because I thought

1660
01:24:32,840 --> 01:24:36,600
Speaker 1: there was something going on maybe and I but I

1661
01:24:36,680 --> 01:24:39,519
Speaker 1: don't believe me. If there's any I'm happy to be

1662
01:24:39,560 --> 01:24:42,559
Speaker 1: your friend, which I never really said with earnestness, Um,

1663
01:24:43,200 --> 01:24:45,479
Speaker 1: but I meant it, and that that meant I'm growing up.

1664
01:24:45,479 --> 01:24:47,360
Speaker 1: And I was in therapy trying to figure out how

1665
01:24:47,360 --> 01:24:50,040
Speaker 1: to treat people better and treat myself better and not

1666
01:24:50,400 --> 01:24:53,679
Speaker 1: several things. Just because you didn't get rejected, I didn't

1667
01:24:53,680 --> 01:24:57,040
Speaker 1: get rejected. She was nice as hell. So then I said, well,

1668
01:24:57,080 --> 01:24:59,280
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna go because I don't think you feel

1669
01:24:59,280 --> 01:25:01,559
Speaker 1: that way about me. And it's cool. She said, what

1670
01:25:01,600 --> 01:25:03,720
Speaker 1: if I do feel that way about you? And I

1671
01:25:03,760 --> 01:25:08,719
Speaker 1: said what times? What time's dinner? Oh? Yes, that's so cute.

1672
01:25:08,720 --> 01:25:11,360
Speaker 1: And then and then we didn't. Then we have not

1673
01:25:12,160 --> 01:25:17,920
Speaker 1: been apart since that was Oh my god, right away.

1674
01:25:18,040 --> 01:25:20,000
Speaker 1: Our first date was in Las Vegas a couple of

1675
01:25:20,000 --> 01:25:23,200
Speaker 1: weeks later, and uh it was. It was really fun.

1676
01:25:23,360 --> 01:25:27,599
Speaker 1: It was hilariously funny. And then we went to Absence.

1677
01:25:27,680 --> 01:25:29,960
Speaker 1: You gotta go see that show. If you're on a date, um,

1678
01:25:31,000 --> 01:25:35,800
Speaker 1: you bring your torso yeah, it's and and then we

1679
01:25:36,120 --> 01:25:37,479
Speaker 1: I don't know what we did. We well, we went

1680
01:25:37,520 --> 01:25:41,640
Speaker 1: to uh Excess at the at the Encore, at the

1681
01:25:41,640 --> 01:25:43,880
Speaker 1: wind I don't know. And she's like, but we're in

1682
01:25:43,920 --> 01:25:46,120
Speaker 1: the d J booth. We can't see anything. And I said,

1683
01:25:46,200 --> 01:25:47,719
Speaker 1: just wait a second. And then all of a sudden,

1684
01:25:47,720 --> 01:25:49,920
Speaker 1: Tea Paint said come on up here, Bob, and then

1685
01:25:49,960 --> 01:25:53,879
Speaker 1: the hydraulics started. We got to watch Sodom and Gomorrah,

1686
01:25:54,000 --> 01:25:56,559
Speaker 1: you know, we got to watch the End of the World. But, um,

1687
01:25:56,600 --> 01:25:59,200
Speaker 1: I love that story. I feel like, I don't know,

1688
01:25:59,240 --> 01:26:01,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call I. I like Noah's question the best

1689
01:26:02,040 --> 01:26:08,760
Speaker 1: it got. Yeah, I mean it's cheating that because he's

1690
01:26:08,800 --> 01:26:10,840
Speaker 1: not going to go against his wife? What do you

1691
01:26:10,840 --> 01:26:15,920
Speaker 1: mean to go against? Yeah? I don't know why I'm choosing.

1692
01:26:15,920 --> 01:26:19,799
Speaker 1: I just like, yeah, Bob, what this question was your favorite? Um?

1693
01:26:20,000 --> 01:26:23,080
Speaker 1: The one that I the one that I answered with

1694
01:26:23,160 --> 01:26:25,120
Speaker 1: the least amount of time, And I don't know if

1695
01:26:25,120 --> 01:26:28,360
Speaker 1: it's possible to clock the shortest answer. Can you just

1696
01:26:28,400 --> 01:26:31,320
Speaker 1: ask me something really quick and I'll answer with yes,

1697
01:26:31,320 --> 01:26:34,880
Speaker 1: you're no, and that will be like cheese. Sometimes that's

1698
01:26:34,920 --> 01:26:37,639
Speaker 1: my favorite question. Okay, there we go, there we haven't

1699
01:26:37,680 --> 01:26:39,679
Speaker 1: that will always round out our burning questions for Bob

1700
01:26:39,760 --> 01:26:42,400
Speaker 1: is do you like cheese? And and and sometimes he

1701
01:26:42,439 --> 01:26:45,160
Speaker 1: does uh. And that's why his asshole is going to

1702
01:26:45,160 --> 01:26:48,360
Speaker 1: be available in coasters very soon because he's he sometimes

1703
01:26:48,479 --> 01:26:52,000
Speaker 1: enjoys Darry. Now let's move into the final thought. Bob Sage,

1704
01:26:52,040 --> 01:26:53,840
Speaker 1: thank you so much for being with us. You can

1705
01:26:53,880 --> 01:26:56,120
Speaker 1: go see Bob seget live, which you know I can't

1706
01:26:56,160 --> 01:26:59,200
Speaker 1: recommend enough. Um right now, I mean he is going

1707
01:26:59,280 --> 01:27:02,360
Speaker 1: to be in Uh. Let's see where you are everywhere

1708
01:27:04,400 --> 01:27:06,720
Speaker 1: dot com Tuesday Wednesday, Levety live in New York. You

1709
01:27:06,720 --> 01:27:08,880
Speaker 1: can see Bob Segont, but he's all over the place

1710
01:27:08,920 --> 01:27:11,880
Speaker 1: Bob Saga dot com and make sure to subscribe to

1711
01:27:11,920 --> 01:27:15,200
Speaker 1: Bob Saget is here for you his podcast, and follow

1712
01:27:15,240 --> 01:27:18,040
Speaker 1: his wife Kelly Eat Travel Rock on Instagram and you'll

1713
01:27:18,040 --> 01:27:20,320
Speaker 1: see lots of Bob content there. Thank you guys so

1714
01:27:20,439 --> 01:27:25,040
Speaker 1: much for being with us today. Um, thank you Bob

1715
01:27:25,400 --> 01:27:28,240
Speaker 1: our first guest. All right, guys, we will see you

1716
01:27:28,880 --> 01:27:31,599
Speaker 1: tomorrow for our final show of the week, and I'm

1717
01:27:31,600 --> 01:27:37,040
Speaker 1: gonna go cut some cheese sometimes in a mop. Let's

1718
01:27:37,080 --> 01:27:40,760
Speaker 1: pick a different edit point for the album perfect. We

1719
01:27:40,840 --> 01:27:46,280
Speaker 1: love you. Thanks Bob, Thank you, Kay Okay kick