1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother of four, 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:08,479 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:11,799 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On 4 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:32,960 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:37,960 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode eighty. Sarah has recently moved. 11 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,880 Speaker 1: People who've been following her blog have read all about 12 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:44,720 Speaker 1: that she moved blog blogs too. I's got a brand 13 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 1: new blog up. This will run a little bit later, 14 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 1: so she'll hopefully have worked out any case, it looks great. 15 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 1: Hurt her new blog, but she moved her problems Well, 16 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 1: I don't know if there's problems, but I know there's 17 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,640 Speaker 1: something where I have to like the comments are set 18 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 1: to moderate, but I can't figure out how to get 19 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,600 Speaker 1: to them. So I think it's actually been some comments 20 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,480 Speaker 1: because I found one and then I could so anyway, Yeah, 21 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:08,960 Speaker 1: there's like all sorts of stuff, and I want to 22 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,759 Speaker 1: change the font size. But yeah, it's always fun when 23 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 1: you're moving your house and your school and everything else. 24 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,840 Speaker 1: You might as well just move your blog too, Yes, exactly, 25 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 1: just change it all at the same time. So what 26 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,880 Speaker 1: is the list of change that has happened so far 27 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,520 Speaker 1: for you guys. Yeah, so it was all triggered by 28 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:31,320 Speaker 1: my husband's switching hospitals and changing jobs due to just 29 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: a better fit for the types of surgeries that he 30 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 1: wants to do. So we are now employed by the 31 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:39,360 Speaker 1: same health system, which is thirty to forty minutes north 32 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:43,120 Speaker 1: of where we were, So living in Miami Beach didn't 33 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,520 Speaker 1: make a lot of logistical sense, especially because with my 34 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,840 Speaker 1: husband's type of job, it's not ideal to be that 35 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 1: far away because there are emergencies where he might have 36 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:53,720 Speaker 1: to kind of go back and forth from the hospital, 37 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 1: unlike me, where I can pretty much deal with most things, 38 00:01:56,040 --> 00:02:00,480 Speaker 1: at least initially over the phone. So this person potated 39 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 1: the idea that we wanted to put our house on 40 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 1: the market and move, and we were trying to decide 41 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,320 Speaker 1: whether we wanted to finish out the school year or not. 42 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:09,239 Speaker 1: We moved in with my in laws, as many of 43 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:11,399 Speaker 1: you might remember for my blog, and it was great. 44 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,840 Speaker 1: It was actually it was really great, but we didn't 45 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 1: want my husband having to go back and forth that far, 46 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: and we did kind of crave our own space a 47 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 1: little bit. We felt like the kids were acting out 48 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: a lot more having this audience, and it was sort 49 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:28,600 Speaker 1: of grading on me, so not being with my in laws, 50 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:30,919 Speaker 1: but the way my kids were acting while we were 51 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:33,119 Speaker 1: in this sort of temporary state. I just wanted things 52 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 1: to be settled. So we looked and we looked, and 53 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:37,880 Speaker 1: we ended up finding a rental property like in the 54 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 1: specific complex that we were very interested in. And after 55 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,040 Speaker 1: kind of looking into one property and then quickly losing it, 56 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: we realized that rentals are not that common and if 57 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,360 Speaker 1: you find one that has what you want, you probably 58 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 1: to just grab it because it's a little bit unlike 59 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 1: the housing market right now, where there's a lot for 60 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: sale but not necessarily a lot for rent. So anyway, 61 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,839 Speaker 1: that kind of triggered it, and we made a very 62 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 1: quick decision, Like we weren't sure whether it was going 63 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:07,079 Speaker 1: to be June or January, and I think it wasn't 64 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,919 Speaker 1: until the mid December that we said Yep, we're moving out. 65 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:14,639 Speaker 1: So it was pretty abrupt. But yeah, so new job 66 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:18,080 Speaker 1: from my husband, new schools for both kids, new house, 67 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 1: new county, and just a lot of change. Kind of change. Yeah, 68 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 1: change is good. Good tell it before we delve into 69 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:31,360 Speaker 1: my recent logistical challenges and what I've learned and what 70 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 1: I still am learning. Tell us about because you did 71 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 1: this too, I mean you kind of had a total 72 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 1: facelift of what your life looked like when you went 73 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: from you know, Manhattan, you were like downtown right to 74 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 1: the suburbs of Philadelphia. Yeah. Yeah, it was a different 75 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,680 Speaker 1: it was a different world. My husband and I lived 76 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,640 Speaker 1: in Murray Hill in Manhattan, so we were in the 77 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 1: thirties on the East Side. For people who are familiar 78 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:59,080 Speaker 1: with Manhattan. We lived in an apartment. We've been there 79 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 1: for a few We've done a few moves within that. 80 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 1: So when he and I got engaged, he had purched, 81 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,440 Speaker 1: or shortly before we got engaged, he had purchased an apartment. 82 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,120 Speaker 1: So before that he'd been in another place, but he 83 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 1: in a building that was a one bedroom apartment. We 84 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,720 Speaker 1: had our first kid there then it was feeling a 85 00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:19,679 Speaker 1: little small, so we moved to a two bedroom apartment 86 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:24,000 Speaker 1: in the same building which we were renting, so we 87 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 1: had we had purchased the one bedroom, we rented the second, 88 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 1: so then we sold the one bedroom. So we were renting, 89 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:31,240 Speaker 1: so it was easy enough to get out of where 90 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:32,839 Speaker 1: we were going. We just waited for our least to 91 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:35,800 Speaker 1: be up. But when kid number three was on her 92 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:39,360 Speaker 1: way in early twenty eleven, we decided that in the 93 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,599 Speaker 1: two bedroom apartment thing in New York was probably not 94 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:46,680 Speaker 1: going to happen. So we had looked that fall before 95 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 1: we knew Number three was coming at a friend's house 96 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 1: out in the suburbs of Philadelphia because they were thinking 97 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,480 Speaker 1: of going to Israel for the year. So we were 98 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 1: going to like runt their house possibly while they were gone, 99 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 1: just to try it out. And my husband this doesn't 100 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,360 Speaker 1: sound so random. And my husband was actually in the 101 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:06,800 Speaker 1: Philadelphia office of his company and had been in that 102 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:08,480 Speaker 1: office for a couple of years. But the thing with 103 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,839 Speaker 1: consulting is you only go into the office really on Friday, 104 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,800 Speaker 1: if that. So some of his clients were out in 105 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,000 Speaker 1: this area, so he had passed by the Philadelphia office 106 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 1: more frequently than he would go by the New York office. 107 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,160 Speaker 1: He would work in the New York office something anyway, 108 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:26,400 Speaker 1: So theoretically he was in the Philadelphia office of his company, 109 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:28,720 Speaker 1: so it would have made some sense to move anyway. 110 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:31,400 Speaker 1: So we came out here to look at houses just 111 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,480 Speaker 1: to see what there was, and we found a house 112 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:36,240 Speaker 1: we really liked on the first day of looking, which 113 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:40,280 Speaker 1: is kind of one of those things of being both 114 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:44,120 Speaker 1: complete satisficers and we got to say, only satisficers find 115 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:46,680 Speaker 1: their house on the first Yeah, And so we just 116 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 1: decided to make an offer and we had it accepted, 117 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,719 Speaker 1: and they wanted to have us move in quite or 118 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,000 Speaker 1: not move in, but at least take possession quite quickly, 119 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,599 Speaker 1: and we were able to do so. I'm in partly 120 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,719 Speaker 1: in that we weren't selling another house or anything, so 121 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,640 Speaker 1: we were just you know, it wasn't contingent on that 122 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:10,720 Speaker 1: or anything else. So we did moved here in June. Yeah, 123 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 1: it was it was quite a I mean, there are 124 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,279 Speaker 1: many reasons to do it. School in New York City 125 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 1: is challenging, so we moved when Jazz rose four, so 126 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:24,479 Speaker 1: we didn't have to deal with the whole looking for 127 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,159 Speaker 1: schools in New York, which is there are some great 128 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,240 Speaker 1: public schools, but you have to, you know, figure out 129 00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 1: how you're gonna get it. It's still complicated, yeah, or 130 00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 1: its lottery base. Yeah, and so there was just gonna 131 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:41,120 Speaker 1: be issues with that. And it's cheaper out here. I mean, honestly, 132 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,479 Speaker 1: you know what we would have paid for like a 133 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:47,320 Speaker 1: three bedroom or you know in New York, which would 134 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,479 Speaker 1: have been cramped, which would have been cramped. You have 135 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,359 Speaker 1: a large house with a yard, and we're in a 136 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 1: good school district. You know, you can get into Philly 137 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 1: and fifteen twenty minutes from where we are if the 138 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:04,960 Speaker 1: traffic isn't too bad. It's so there's many upsides. The taxes, 139 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:07,720 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, Like you know, we've we've laughed like 140 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:09,679 Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if our house goes up in value 141 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,840 Speaker 1: or not, because we've already like come out so far 142 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,560 Speaker 1: ahead on that. I mean, the tax rate in New 143 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:19,040 Speaker 1: York City is just Pennsylvania, if you're not in Philadelphia, 144 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,360 Speaker 1: is like a fat flat three percent, right, which is 145 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:26,320 Speaker 1: in New York it's like ten percent plus. So wow. Yeah, 146 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 1: so we made not offer. We moved out here. I 147 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 1: don't plan on moving again anytime soon, though, I could 148 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 1: tell you I have zero percent taxes, so I don't know. Yeah, 149 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 1: well Florida, I guess I remember actually moved to Florida. 150 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 1: But the three percent doesn't there's no point in avoiding 151 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 1: the three percent, I guess, is what I say. You know, 152 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 1: that's not a level where it feels like it matters. 153 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 1: It's a lot. Well we're gonna starting into a personal 154 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:51,280 Speaker 1: finance podcast, but no. But I mean the thing is 155 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: we can still get to like the East Coast stuff 156 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 1: that we both need to get to. If we're at Florida, 157 00:07:56,200 --> 00:08:00,680 Speaker 1: we'd both be on planes all. Yeah, that's true into 158 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 1: the other drawbacks like yeah, and we like yeah, well 159 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,760 Speaker 1: a little effect here too, although we're less close to 160 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 1: the water, I guess. So I certainly don't enjoy moving. 161 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 1: And it was very stressful. I mean, the kids were 162 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 1: you know, we can move. This is moving into the 163 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 1: body of how to move with a family, right you 164 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 1: what do you guys? Do? I mean you managed to 165 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:29,640 Speaker 1: do it pretty quickly. Yeah, I mean it's over very fast. 166 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 1: That's the thing. The moving in and settling part can 167 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 1: probably be infinite if you stretch it out. But the 168 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:37,960 Speaker 1: actual act of going from one place to the other, 169 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,640 Speaker 1: I mean, really, it happens in one day. That's the thing, 170 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:44,080 Speaker 1: and I'd kind of forgotten about that. Remember that movers 171 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 1: can also pack, and if you have a job that 172 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 1: is willing to pay for that, it is really great. 173 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 1: And actually, to be honest, we were impressed at how 174 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 1: how much moving doesn't actually cost that much, especially when 175 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: you're moving locally. We had moved from North Carolina to 176 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,360 Speaker 1: hear and I guess that that's more expensive because you 177 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 1: have to ship your vehicles potentially, and you know that's 178 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 1: going on this long, long truck ride. But a more 179 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 1: local move is not that big of a deal. You're 180 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 1: really just paying by the hour for the movers. And 181 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:12,080 Speaker 1: movers are great at moving, that's what they do. They're 182 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,760 Speaker 1: able to. We were so nervous about them, like disassembling 183 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,760 Speaker 1: and reassembling beds, but turns out, you know, when you 184 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:19,960 Speaker 1: move beds all day, you get really good at moving beds. 185 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 1: So I actually supervised that whole process while my husband 186 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:25,280 Speaker 1: had to be at work, and it went much better 187 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,600 Speaker 1: than you'd think. They packed up our kitchen, they packed 188 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:30,439 Speaker 1: up a couple of the other rooms, but we because 189 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:31,959 Speaker 1: we had kind of moved in with my in laws, 190 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,520 Speaker 1: it was a little bit piecemeal. But I'll say, the 191 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 1: actual act of like getting most of our stuff from 192 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,600 Speaker 1: our Miami Beach places, whether that's my in law's house 193 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:43,080 Speaker 1: in our house to hear was pretty much a one 194 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,480 Speaker 1: day affair, and then the bulk of the unpacking was 195 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 1: done in the next two to three days. Childcare was 196 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:52,440 Speaker 1: one hundred percent essential for that entire period. I basically 197 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 1: my bandwidth was just under foot. Oh my goodness. I 198 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 1: mean it's dangerous. First of all, Like you know, my 199 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:00,719 Speaker 1: mother in law pointed out like this is kids get hurt, 200 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 1: and she's absolutely right, Like, because all the routines are disrupted, 201 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 1: things are in different places. Kids, they're going to try 202 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,880 Speaker 1: to climb up on stuff, They're going to test things out. 203 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,199 Speaker 1: It's like not when you want, you want them completely 204 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,120 Speaker 1: kind of out of the picture. So you know, in 205 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:13,840 Speaker 1: our case, luckily we have our nanny and so she 206 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,680 Speaker 1: took them like to different play spaces, and she took 207 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:17,679 Speaker 1: them the hard house, and she took them, you know, 208 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 1: to all the local playgrounds and everything. So that that part, 209 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 1: aside from having childcare, it really wasn't too terrible. I 210 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 1: will you guys get it paid for because of Josh's job, 211 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,680 Speaker 1: did you guys, negotiate that into excellent. So that's another 212 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 1: key tip. If you are theoretically moving for job, even 213 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:38,080 Speaker 1: if you are moving locally, but you're moving closer to 214 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,640 Speaker 1: one place because you were at someplace else, that definitely 215 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 1: you're taking a new job, and that's what's inspiring it 216 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 1: that you're at your best position to be able to 217 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:49,440 Speaker 1: negotiate anything when you are thinking about taking a new job. 218 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 1: So asking for that is certainly helpful. Yeah, and we're 219 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 1: not honestly big negotiators, but this was something that we 220 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,360 Speaker 1: asked for and then we were lucky enough to get it. 221 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 1: I guess we probably they figured, well, they covered my move, 222 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 1: so why would they cover his move, even if that 223 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 1: seems a little crazy because I'm keeping the same job, 224 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 1: but he is working at a slightly different hospital and 225 00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:10,800 Speaker 1: it's a little bit more important that he'd be physically close, 226 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:14,240 Speaker 1: and probably better for them because you can get there faster, 227 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,360 Speaker 1: which is good for patients and good for everything. Yeah, 228 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,360 Speaker 1: and people are off, you know, things that are not 229 00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:22,920 Speaker 1: part of a continuing salary or benefits package are sort 230 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:25,280 Speaker 1: of easier to give because it's a one off payment. 231 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 1: So you know, it's like, is it in the budget 232 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,360 Speaker 1: now as opposed to we'll be taking this on for 233 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 1: years and years and going up, you know, by a 234 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 1: certain percent. So you know, if there's less room to 235 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:39,000 Speaker 1: negotiate on a salary, again, this is something extra that 236 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 1: you can probably ask for. So the thing that I 237 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 1: will say, I had it in my mind that I 238 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 1: would be able to kind of unpack everything in like 239 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 1: two days. No, I mean, everything is in a functional state. 240 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,360 Speaker 1: But I did have to come to peace with the 241 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 1: fact that it's going to be a more gradual approach 242 00:11:57,559 --> 00:11:59,040 Speaker 1: and I can kind of focus on one room at 243 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 1: a time and you know, have half my closet stuff 244 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,320 Speaker 1: out and it's okay. It was like a it was 245 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:04,920 Speaker 1: it was. It was a delusion and I had to 246 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,839 Speaker 1: come to acceptance. I do. I do have to say 247 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 1: I did it. I like stayed up late the first 248 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 1: night and did the kitchen and that was so worth 249 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,679 Speaker 1: it because having a functional kitchen is I think more 250 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:16,120 Speaker 1: important than than almost anything else. You can get your food, 251 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,600 Speaker 1: you can get your dishes, you can you can kind 252 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,120 Speaker 1: of live day to day with almost everything else in boxes, 253 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 1: but it's hard with your kitchen. Well, make sure there's 254 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:27,679 Speaker 1: toilet paper and all the bathrooms Oh yeah, yes, that's somebody. Actually, 255 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,640 Speaker 1: since we got the house before I did, I stocked 256 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 1: the house before we even moved anything so that I 257 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 1: wouldn't have to worry about that. So I bought toilet paper. 258 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 1: And make yourself a list of those mundane things and 259 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: take a trip to Target and you will be glad. Yeah, 260 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,760 Speaker 1: get your your soft soap for all the bathrooms. Make 261 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,880 Speaker 1: sure there's towels in them and toilet paper and stuff 262 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:47,680 Speaker 1: like that. Yeah. No, or mark whatever boxes of the 263 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:52,559 Speaker 1: stuff that you absolutely need on day one, that's like, yeah, Well, 264 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:57,880 Speaker 1: we moved our fish. We had a fish in New York. 265 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:02,719 Speaker 1: So the fish came in it's little like bowl, basically 266 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 1: sitting between my legs. As we drove out. My husband 267 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:07,599 Speaker 1: had just purchased a car because we were going to 268 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 1: be suburbanites and I was gonna buy mine up once 269 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:12,439 Speaker 1: we'd moved, so he had his car. We put him 270 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 1: in the front seat the bowl with me, moved, moved 271 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,640 Speaker 1: fisca the fish out with us to hear and then 272 00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 1: I couldn't find the fish food because the fish food 273 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,000 Speaker 1: was packed away. So I had to open all these 274 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:27,120 Speaker 1: boxes of stuff from the kitchen counters to find the 275 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:30,920 Speaker 1: fish food, So yes, mark the things that you absolutely need. 276 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 1: I never would have thought about that, but yeah, pet 277 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,959 Speaker 1: food would be very important because you can't it's like 278 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,200 Speaker 1: you can't wait for that kind of thing. No, no, 279 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,720 Speaker 1: I mean so either you're trying to find someplace right 280 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 1: as you've moved, which is also stressful, or you bought 281 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:47,080 Speaker 1: the box so to mark that the fish made it. 282 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 1: By the way I say, he Fiscos survived the move. Fine, 283 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:52,400 Speaker 1: he was great until we got all fancy and decided 284 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,920 Speaker 1: to get him a bigger tank. And then then that 285 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:56,760 Speaker 1: you know, Fiscos turned out to be a fish of 286 00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:01,960 Speaker 1: very simple taste that that didn't work out. Oh well bad. Yeah, 287 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,080 Speaker 1: so the school, the school I was going to mention. 288 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:09,120 Speaker 1: One thing I did was I did mention our move 289 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 1: on my blog, and I had multiple readers point out 290 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,560 Speaker 1: that actually a mid year move can be easier for kids. 291 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:19,360 Speaker 1: And because I had been really fretting about that, like, 292 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 1: oh my god, can we really take them out of 293 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 1: their schools in the middle of the year. I'm a 294 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,560 Speaker 1: horrible parent for doing that. But people pointed out that 295 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,680 Speaker 1: actually your child gets a little bit more hand holding 296 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:30,040 Speaker 1: when they are joining midyear versus joining in the fall, 297 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,280 Speaker 1: and that has turned out to be one hundred percent true. 298 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 1: My readers are very smart and they're always right pretty much. 299 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 1: I mean like it's like, oh, there's a new kid, 300 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,760 Speaker 1: and that led to, you know, the chat group on 301 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 1: what's up. Everyone's welcoming us and people are like asking 302 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,200 Speaker 1: us for dinner. That never would have happened if we 303 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 1: were just some random kid in the class in the fall. 304 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,920 Speaker 1: So I am actually really glad we made that transition. 305 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 1: I thought maybe my son would mind because he was 306 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:56,920 Speaker 1: at the same preschool for a long time. He had 307 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 1: to switch schools and he's only going to be at 308 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:01,200 Speaker 1: the current school for half a year, but he actually 309 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,760 Speaker 1: loves it. I mean he's only been there three days 310 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,840 Speaker 1: and he's like, I like it more than my other schools. 311 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:10,840 Speaker 1: So this big, like, honestly, one of the biggest things 312 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 1: I dreaded, has turned out to be much less than 313 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,360 Speaker 1: a big deal. Now, of course, my kids are younger. 314 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,920 Speaker 1: If I had a fifth grader with her click that 315 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:22,160 Speaker 1: she was really into, I'm sure this might have gone 316 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 1: very differently. But as having a first grader and a 317 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:29,840 Speaker 1: pre k, it's been really nice. I've been impressed with 318 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,480 Speaker 1: I mean socially, that's going to be a huge work 319 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:34,040 Speaker 1: in progress. Now. The lucky thing is we're not that 320 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 1: far away from our friends and we still are going 321 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,240 Speaker 1: to see them. But of course I want to get 322 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:41,600 Speaker 1: to know local people too, so that's that'll come with time. 323 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 1: But I'm impressed at how much people have reached out already. 324 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,760 Speaker 1: And you're closer to your nanny actually too though, right, 325 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,240 Speaker 1: so that didn't have to change. Yes, that was one 326 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 1: major constant in our life that did not have to change. 327 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,800 Speaker 1: Her commute actually got cut more than anybody, so she 328 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,200 Speaker 1: is like the happiest person ever. That's great. Well, that's 329 00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 1: a big bonus for her, that's wonderful. And so your 330 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,400 Speaker 1: commute is also less, like what is your commute now? 331 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,880 Speaker 1: My commute is a little bit less, although to be honest, 332 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:10,800 Speaker 1: I have now my daughter really wants me to take 333 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,680 Speaker 1: her to school, and it's not hard for me to 334 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,520 Speaker 1: do that, and it actually sets me up very nicely 335 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,840 Speaker 1: to get to work right around the right time. So honestly, 336 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,560 Speaker 1: my morning, I'm gonna have to leave about the same 337 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:20,680 Speaker 1: time and I'm going to get to work at the 338 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:22,480 Speaker 1: same time. But I'm going to have the side benefit 339 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,600 Speaker 1: of well a am more predictable commute, Like I'm much 340 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 1: less likely to end up in some jam that causes 341 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,400 Speaker 1: an extra half hour that it wasn't planning because I'm 342 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,560 Speaker 1: taking all local streets and there's multiple ways to get there, 343 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,720 Speaker 1: rather than getting on like one highway where you're kind 344 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:38,040 Speaker 1: of screwed if it's blocked. But I'm also going to 345 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 1: get a little bit more time with Annabelle plus minus 346 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 1: Cameron because his school is sort of on the way too, 347 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,120 Speaker 1: and I think, especially as she gets older than that 348 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:46,960 Speaker 1: will be really nice and I might be a little 349 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,640 Speaker 1: bit more tuned in about what's going on at school 350 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:51,560 Speaker 1: as a result of doing that, although I'm not sure 351 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:53,480 Speaker 1: about that because that's more about like just sitting in 352 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,960 Speaker 1: a carpool line. We could also on my days off, 353 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 1: like I can walk with her too, so that's that's 354 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,840 Speaker 1: kind of nice. So in the morning, I'm not really 355 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:05,879 Speaker 1: getting any time back and the afternoon, I mean, I 356 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,480 Speaker 1: don't know. I have to figure this out, Laura. You 357 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,440 Speaker 1: may have to help me, because I what I don't 358 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,560 Speaker 1: want to do is just like and I found myself 359 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,080 Speaker 1: doing it already. I'm like, oh, I can say it work. 360 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,400 Speaker 1: Fifteen minutes later, but I don't get anything really done 361 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,320 Speaker 1: of substance, And it was fifteen minutes that I somehow 362 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 1: survived not taking before and then I'm getting home at 363 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 1: the same time, some sort of like negating the benefit. 364 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 1: So I think it's but it is fifteen minutes. And 365 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,680 Speaker 1: as we've looked at your time, fifteen minutes is not 366 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,280 Speaker 1: nothing in your life, and especially if you're not pumping too, 367 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:36,080 Speaker 1: you have this a fair amount of I mean, you've 368 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,600 Speaker 1: got time now that you didn't have six months ago. 369 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,320 Speaker 1: I think you know, if you chose one thing to 370 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:44,800 Speaker 1: do each day at work for that extra fifteen minutes 371 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,120 Speaker 1: that was sort of high impact, you know, that would 372 00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 1: be great, right, that's fifteen minutes you could do, or 373 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,360 Speaker 1: you know what you would do if you came home, 374 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,080 Speaker 1: because again it's easy if you come home to just 375 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:55,040 Speaker 1: have it sort of disappear into like sorting the mail 376 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:58,240 Speaker 1: pile or something exactly. You know that. I'm only because 377 00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:00,600 Speaker 1: again it's only fifteen minutes, So I think you need 378 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,480 Speaker 1: to be careful about saying exactly what this fifteen minute 379 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:07,560 Speaker 1: chunk is going to go for. And I know, I mean, 380 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,920 Speaker 1: I have that issue with a fifteen minute chunk of time. 381 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:12,960 Speaker 1: In the morning, like the days I, you know, drive 382 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,720 Speaker 1: Jasper and our neighbor to the middle school and then 383 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,359 Speaker 1: come home and I've got like fifteen minutes before the 384 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,000 Speaker 1: other kids need to be out of the bus. Like 385 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:21,600 Speaker 1: what do I do at that time? Well, I don't 386 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,600 Speaker 1: do anything with that time, Like I can tell you, 387 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,879 Speaker 1: I totally waste it way more days than I don't 388 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,560 Speaker 1: And so I really need to think about it because 389 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,120 Speaker 1: it is a chunk of time. But what do I do? 390 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,560 Speaker 1: I don't know? So what would you do? Like fifteen minutes? 391 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,240 Speaker 1: What are you what are you thinking? I mean maybe 392 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,159 Speaker 1: the answer is I can leave late work later on 393 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,520 Speaker 1: the days that I'm working, and I'll take less work 394 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:45,119 Speaker 1: home other times. I mean, I I don't know. Well, 395 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,720 Speaker 1: do you think you could be completely on top of 396 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,320 Speaker 1: notes if you had, you know, those fifteen minutes plus 397 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:54,040 Speaker 1: one of your things that was a pumping break. Yeah, yeah, 398 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:55,919 Speaker 1: so then that would be an option, right, Like, just 399 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 1: be done with it now having the stress of having 400 00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:00,159 Speaker 1: that hang out, have the stress, then you're totally done. No, 401 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,359 Speaker 1: It's true, it's like you don't see it because you 402 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,280 Speaker 1: forget that you had to spend those like random Sunday 403 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 1: mornings at five am doing it. But in reality, that's 404 00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,280 Speaker 1: that's a great use of the time because nobody wants 405 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:13,800 Speaker 1: to be doing that at five am, yeah, exactly, and 406 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,879 Speaker 1: other things at that time. So yeah, yeah, No, this 407 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 1: question of using small bits of time is when I 408 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:24,040 Speaker 1: ponder a lot, and with looking at people's timelogs and 409 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,000 Speaker 1: things like that, that if you have a certain block 410 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,960 Speaker 1: that is now open or that is structurally built into 411 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 1: your life, giving it a certain habit designation is a 412 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,960 Speaker 1: great way to make that be part of your life. 413 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 1: But you know, it's easier said than done. It's definitely 414 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,960 Speaker 1: not easy. But you've been building a lot of new routines, right, 415 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,479 Speaker 1: figuring those out. Yeah, And I think that's actually one 416 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,480 Speaker 1: of the benefits of moving is you're sort of forced 417 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,120 Speaker 1: to rethink things because there is no how things were 418 00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,280 Speaker 1: done before. So I really I do like that part 419 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:52,760 Speaker 1: about it, and I want to be careful not to 420 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:57,920 Speaker 1: just fall into iterations, you know, automatically, like I already 421 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,199 Speaker 1: have sort of gone running three times and I've in 422 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,680 Speaker 1: the same road and it's like, wait a second, you 423 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:06,440 Speaker 1: just picked that route randomly, Like that can't that's it? 424 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,560 Speaker 1: So I probably need to explore and make sure like 425 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,840 Speaker 1: I found the best and safest and most well lit 426 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:17,160 Speaker 1: route rather than just automatically settling. No, that's that's true, 427 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:21,040 Speaker 1: and it is easy to fall into routines, and but 428 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:24,240 Speaker 1: you know, you can also sort of say getting settled 429 00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 1: is kind of a long term project, like you don't 430 00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:30,280 Speaker 1: have to figure everything out immediately. We still have boxes 431 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:33,200 Speaker 1: in the garage, I know we do. I mean we've 432 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,720 Speaker 1: probably just dubbed them, but there I mean, there's probably 433 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,720 Speaker 1: something in them that somebody cared about, which is why 434 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,760 Speaker 1: they've been moved. So I feel like you want to 435 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,199 Speaker 1: look at that, But you know, there's still just stoff 436 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:47,080 Speaker 1: places and we have to I've got a project of 437 00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:50,240 Speaker 1: going through the papers in my office and going through 438 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:54,280 Speaker 1: the papers in the closets by my office and sort 439 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,800 Speaker 1: of seeing what I actually care about and what I don't. 440 00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,800 Speaker 1: And it's kind of fun to look through. I mean, 441 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 1: I have all sorts of uh, you know, article clippings 442 00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:04,560 Speaker 1: or things I've written, or things that people wrote to me, 443 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:08,520 Speaker 1: or you know, coverage of books or in the past. 444 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,800 Speaker 1: That's fun to look at. But you know, I can 445 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 1: see what's worth keeping and what's what's not. And a 446 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,600 Speaker 1: lot of the boxes. Just I know, I have a 447 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,240 Speaker 1: filing cabinet that just completely moved from our apartment in 448 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,280 Speaker 1: New York, Like, I really probably have not pulled anything 449 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,960 Speaker 1: out of it in seven years, so maybe time to 450 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,240 Speaker 1: figure that out. I don't know. Seven years, isn't it 451 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,760 Speaker 1: the amount of time you need to keep your taxes? 452 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 1: So you just probably just throw it all out. I 453 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:34,879 Speaker 1: just dumped the whole I could maybe maybe do that. 454 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:39,120 Speaker 1: Here's an aside. Are you watching Tidying Up with Marie Condo? Well, 455 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,680 Speaker 1: I don't have Netflix, right, isn't it on Netflix? Yes? 456 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,719 Speaker 1: It is? Okay, I don't have Netflix, so how is it? 457 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,680 Speaker 1: So if you are moving, you might want to watch 458 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,880 Speaker 1: that because it's very motivating. Although it also you see 459 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:51,640 Speaker 1: other people. It makes me feel good because I see 460 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 1: how much stuff some of these people have and I'm like, 461 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,439 Speaker 1: we have nothing compared to that, So We're we're not 462 00:21:56,520 --> 00:22:00,560 Speaker 1: the hoarders holders, which makes it move much easier. Do 463 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,879 Speaker 1: not keep things? Well, since you're renting, are you gonna 464 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,400 Speaker 1: do much with the house? I mean, you're not gonna 465 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,520 Speaker 1: do anything. And that takes this immense amount of pressure 466 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 1: off too. And then you realize that, like, well at 467 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,199 Speaker 1: least me. I mean, I think I've said this like 468 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:14,280 Speaker 1: home decore does not particularly make me happy. I mean 469 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 1: it's almost just like if my house is not completely 470 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,600 Speaker 1: embarrassing from a decore perspective when people come over, then 471 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,719 Speaker 1: I'm fine, Like that's my bar. So you're not are 472 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:26,200 Speaker 1: you getting anything new like new rugs, new curtains. I mean, 473 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:31,760 Speaker 1: for my kidcounters, the rugs are new. They're not gorgeous, 474 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,240 Speaker 1: but they're like fine. I mean, we may only be 475 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:36,959 Speaker 1: here a year, so I just have no idea. So 476 00:22:37,119 --> 00:22:40,520 Speaker 1: it doesn't to me make sense to like invest money 477 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,960 Speaker 1: in a house that we might Yeah. Well no, I 478 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,440 Speaker 1: mean that's only eleven months left. Yeah well, I guess 479 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:47,200 Speaker 1: the questions though then if you wind up staying three 480 00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:48,920 Speaker 1: or four years in that place, like then you're sort 481 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,320 Speaker 1: of like, well, you know if I've been looking at 482 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:53,679 Speaker 1: the same But I'm funny about that. I really it 483 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,400 Speaker 1: doesn't like whether things are organized that makes me really 484 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,240 Speaker 1: happy or not, but whether things are updated and fancy 485 00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:01,080 Speaker 1: that I could care less. I think that has to 486 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,359 Speaker 1: do with my I did not grow up in a 487 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:06,359 Speaker 1: very like done house. Yeah well, I mean, what is 488 00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,119 Speaker 1: the planner? I care more about my clothes and my 489 00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:09,640 Speaker 1: shoes than I do in my mind. Are you are 490 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:13,200 Speaker 1: you taking it as it comes, or are you actively 491 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,200 Speaker 1: looking to like purchase a home in your area after 492 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,200 Speaker 1: you sell the house in Miami Beach. No, I'm taking 493 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,119 Speaker 1: it as a I mean, I think we kind of 494 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,560 Speaker 1: like the idea of just being renters, maybe for at 495 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,280 Speaker 1: least a few years. You know, there's a lot of 496 00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:29,560 Speaker 1: uncertainty in the market right now, especially in South Florida, 497 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:33,200 Speaker 1: and I just kind of you know, if you there's 498 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,400 Speaker 1: a calculator through the New York Times where you can 499 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:38,760 Speaker 1: compare the cost of buying versus renting and depending on 500 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,960 Speaker 1: various factors in terms including what the market does and 501 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,800 Speaker 1: how long you intend to stay in any given place, 502 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,239 Speaker 1: it actually is. You know, people assume it's such an 503 00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:50,680 Speaker 1: obvious thing to buy financially, but it's not always so 504 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,720 Speaker 1: everyone should of course do their own research. But for now, 505 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,800 Speaker 1: we actually again, our house is still in the market, 506 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:57,560 Speaker 1: so we still do own home. But once that is sold, 507 00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:01,440 Speaker 1: we do not plan on buying autumnally. That is only 508 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 1: going to be if the scenario like makes sense, or 509 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,160 Speaker 1: if we can only find what we want by buying buying. 510 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,240 Speaker 1: I think that would push us to buy. Yeah, I 511 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,320 Speaker 1: mean that was That's certainly one of the things right here. 512 00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,160 Speaker 1: There's not really a great rental market around here because 513 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:17,200 Speaker 1: it's you know, a no where you live. I'm sure 514 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,080 Speaker 1: there's not. There's probably not a lot of homes to rent. 515 00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:21,320 Speaker 1: I mean, there are homes to rent, but there's there 516 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:24,280 Speaker 1: are actually four rentals on our street, but they tend 517 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,280 Speaker 1: to be the sort of smaller older houses and and 518 00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:30,199 Speaker 1: you know then they're not going to be done nicely. 519 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,680 Speaker 1: You know, it's just exactly and ours is not done nicely. 520 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,159 Speaker 1: But you have, you know, I like, I have to 521 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,880 Speaker 1: decide how much I care, and apparently I don't. Yeah. Yeah, 522 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:42,359 Speaker 1: so no, that's it makes sense. And we've met some 523 00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:44,879 Speaker 1: people who you know, and the rentals they kind of 524 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:47,280 Speaker 1: move in and out off although one family on our 525 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,840 Speaker 1: street has has been there for several years and the rentals, 526 00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:51,520 Speaker 1: so we'll see what they wind up doing. But I 527 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,280 Speaker 1: think they've just decided to roll with it, similar to you, 528 00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:58,480 Speaker 1: so you know, they like the school, so they haven't. 529 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:00,280 Speaker 1: I mean, I like the idea that like if an 530 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:03,000 Speaker 1: opportunity came up in a year, like to go to 531 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:06,320 Speaker 1: New Zealand, like which is my husband's like frandom fantasy 532 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,800 Speaker 1: for some day it wouldn't be we wouldn't have to 533 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:10,879 Speaker 1: worry about our property that we owned, like I just 534 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:14,240 Speaker 1: I really like that freedom. Yeah, it's very millennial of me. Actually, 535 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:20,800 Speaker 1: we can get a millennials exactly exactly. All right, well cool, 536 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,840 Speaker 1: well shall we shall we move into the Q and A. 537 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,840 Speaker 1: All right, would you like me to read this one? Sure? Yeah, 538 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,399 Speaker 1: all right. This is a loyal listener who has a 539 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:33,600 Speaker 1: working mom of two boys, ages eight and five. Her 540 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 1: husband travels for work, so most weekdays she is single parenting. 541 00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:40,399 Speaker 1: She's been at her current company eleven years. She works 542 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,320 Speaker 1: eighty percent, and her job is pretty flexible, so she 543 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,439 Speaker 1: can work from home if the kid is sick, or 544 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:47,199 Speaker 1: bring the kid to work if school is out, so 545 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,520 Speaker 1: that's pretty flexible. The company, however, is moving you office 546 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:52,879 Speaker 1: location and the commute is going to be twice what 547 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,840 Speaker 1: it is now. She'd be on the road more than 548 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:58,440 Speaker 1: one hour one way off peak hours. The boss's boss 549 00:25:58,440 --> 00:25:59,840 Speaker 1: has been nice enough to allow her to come to 550 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,639 Speaker 1: our at ten and leave it three. And what I 551 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:03,800 Speaker 1: wasn't clear enough about from this question is that four 552 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 1: days a week, like because that's much less than eighty percent, 553 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:07,919 Speaker 1: or is that five days a week? That is her 554 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 1: eighty percent anyway, so that's I digress, that's my question. 555 00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:14,000 Speaker 1: So that she misses the peak traffic and gets home 556 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,159 Speaker 1: on time to take the kids to activities, and she 557 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:17,720 Speaker 1: would make up the rest of the hours in the 558 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:19,640 Speaker 1: morning or late evening, So I'm assuming it's four days 559 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,840 Speaker 1: a week. I asked to work from home twice a week, 560 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,840 Speaker 1: but unfortunately the manager said no, And she's not excited 561 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:28,320 Speaker 1: about the two hour commute each day. So she's saying, 562 00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:30,560 Speaker 1: should I continue with this or move on? Finding a 563 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:32,880 Speaker 1: job in her field is difficult and most workplaces might 564 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,359 Speaker 1: not have flex work hours. Should she take a break 565 00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:37,160 Speaker 1: and stay home with the kids or start a side 566 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:39,720 Speaker 1: hustle for some income. There's not really an easy way 567 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,520 Speaker 1: to move up the ladder, but she's sort of happy 568 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:44,120 Speaker 1: with the low pressures because husband's work is high stress. 569 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:48,200 Speaker 1: The compensation is not that great, so if she did 570 00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:50,080 Speaker 1: take a break from work, it wouldn't be a huge 571 00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,399 Speaker 1: dent on income. But she noticed notes that they'd have 572 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:57,560 Speaker 1: to cut back on expenses. Ooh, Laura, what is your feeling? 573 00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:01,480 Speaker 1: I really am not thrilled. Questions that start with, my 574 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,240 Speaker 1: husband's job is high stress, so I have to do X, 575 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:06,480 Speaker 1: Y or Z that I'm not happy about. But that's 576 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,720 Speaker 1: because my husband's job is high stress. Like I think 577 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:13,879 Speaker 1: these are actually not These are separate issues, and you 578 00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,919 Speaker 1: are thoroughly entitled to have a job that you enjoy 579 00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,440 Speaker 1: and that uses your talents and that pays you well, 580 00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:24,119 Speaker 1: regardless of what he is doing. So I would not 581 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:29,240 Speaker 1: put limits on yourself just because of what he does it. 582 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,480 Speaker 1: You know, this is I know some people would disagree 583 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,080 Speaker 1: with me this, but I fail to see that two 584 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:40,200 Speaker 1: career life is inevitably chaotic and stressful just because both 585 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:43,760 Speaker 1: of you are doing things you find fascinating and enjoy. 586 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,240 Speaker 1: I think that that's a very sort of patriarchal assumption 587 00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:49,080 Speaker 1: that you know, if he's got a big job, you can't. 588 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:53,600 Speaker 1: So I would if you're making a lot of justifications 589 00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 1: for this job only because of the hours and the flexibility, 590 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,359 Speaker 1: but you can't move up. It's not that interesting. You know, 591 00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:03,640 Speaker 1: you're going to have a bad commute. That doesn't really 592 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:07,240 Speaker 1: sound like the best of all worlds to me. That said, 593 00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:09,600 Speaker 1: I don't think you want to just quit, and you know, 594 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,600 Speaker 1: I hope you can find something else, because it's harder 595 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 1: to find a job when you are not working than 596 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:18,359 Speaker 1: if you are employed. So I feel like this is 597 00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:21,119 Speaker 1: one of these things that you give yourself like a 598 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:24,880 Speaker 1: year and see what is out there, and don't put 599 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,280 Speaker 1: assumptions on it that, oh, I can only work eighty 600 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,480 Speaker 1: percent or I can only work flexibly. I mean, your 601 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:32,119 Speaker 1: kids are in school now, They're going to need less 602 00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,840 Speaker 1: than they did in the past. So there's some elements 603 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,240 Speaker 1: that this is time where now that they're both in school, 604 00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:40,200 Speaker 1: time has actually starting to open up. You might be 605 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:43,440 Speaker 1: able to sort of transition into a different and maybe 606 00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:47,160 Speaker 1: more demanding job. So give yourself six to twelve months, 607 00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,240 Speaker 1: see what's out there, kind of network like crazy within 608 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:53,880 Speaker 1: your field, within your community, you know, and don't say, 609 00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:56,640 Speaker 1: don't make this a false trade off, like you don't 610 00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:00,160 Speaker 1: know that you have optimized on all of all all 611 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:04,080 Speaker 1: you know levels for this job. You know, it's possible 612 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:07,040 Speaker 1: that there's another job out there that's more interesting and 613 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,760 Speaker 1: as closer to you and as flexible. Right, and maybe 614 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:11,720 Speaker 1: ben pays more too, Like a lot of people have 615 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,680 Speaker 1: not looked at everything every job in the universe before 616 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:17,400 Speaker 1: you know, choosing the one that they're on. So give 617 00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,920 Speaker 1: yourself some time, see what's out there, and you know, 618 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:23,240 Speaker 1: if there isn't something better, that's then you can decide 619 00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:25,400 Speaker 1: to make your peace with the commute or to step 620 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,200 Speaker 1: back for a while. But you know, maybe there is 621 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,959 Speaker 1: something better. I also wonder if they knew they were 622 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:35,320 Speaker 1: going to lose you, maybe that manager would not be 623 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:38,640 Speaker 1: so incredibly firm on not being from home. And also, 624 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:42,360 Speaker 1: you know, as someone who's had multiple managers while I've 625 00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:46,360 Speaker 1: stayed in the same position, managers can change, so that 626 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:49,120 Speaker 1: personnel might change, and then the new person might say, sure, 627 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:50,960 Speaker 1: one day a week from home is fine, and then 628 00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,880 Speaker 1: if that's working well, you leverage that to eventually go 629 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:57,520 Speaker 1: to two days a week. So I think that there 630 00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,960 Speaker 1: is probably I agree with Laura to give a chance 631 00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:04,200 Speaker 1: and kind of see how it's going before deciding that 632 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,800 Speaker 1: it's not going to work. I also will say that like, 633 00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,120 Speaker 1: I didn't necessarily mind my time in the car as 634 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,720 Speaker 1: much as one might think, because there are some great 635 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:15,800 Speaker 1: audiobooks and podcasts out there, and you know you're you're 636 00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:18,640 Speaker 1: going to have to see what it feels like to 637 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:20,560 Speaker 1: use that as as part of your downtime. So if 638 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:22,360 Speaker 1: you used to rate at night. Maybe you're doing audiobooks 639 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:23,800 Speaker 1: while you're in the car. You know, it's not exactly 640 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,960 Speaker 1: the same, but it's something because it is nice that 641 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:28,640 Speaker 1: at least you wouldn't have to be during peak and 642 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,640 Speaker 1: then you did have that flexibility that you need. Yeah, 643 00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:33,720 Speaker 1: I would, I would. I would echo what Sarah was 644 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:35,920 Speaker 1: saying there with. You know, if they know they're going 645 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:39,760 Speaker 1: to lose you, people get over their you know, resistance 646 00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,720 Speaker 1: to working at home very quickly because it's an easy 647 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:46,280 Speaker 1: thing to allow to keep you. So one of the 648 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,800 Speaker 1: best things you could do is to have another job offer. 649 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:51,720 Speaker 1: So you look around see what they're there, see if 650 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,520 Speaker 1: there's a job that maybe it's a job you love, 651 00:30:53,560 --> 00:30:56,400 Speaker 1: in which case both ways it's great because you're either 652 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,160 Speaker 1: going to take a job that sounds very exciting to you, 653 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,760 Speaker 1: or you walk into your manager's off said listen, I've 654 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:03,640 Speaker 1: got this job offer, you know, because it's closer, like 655 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:05,760 Speaker 1: the fact that I cannot work from home meant that 656 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:08,400 Speaker 1: this job is unsustainable to me. And then let them 657 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,640 Speaker 1: let them say, oh wait, well we've thought about it, 658 00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:12,320 Speaker 1: and actually we think it would work to have you 659 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 1: work from home two days a week and then then 660 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,880 Speaker 1: you've got a different decision to make, but you've taken 661 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:20,040 Speaker 1: sort of that you're in the power position for negotiations 662 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:23,960 Speaker 1: for there. Yes, love that. Yeah, all right, well our 663 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:27,320 Speaker 1: love of the week. We'll end with that, Sarah, what 664 00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:30,640 Speaker 1: do you have for us? So, both the old school 665 00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:33,280 Speaker 1: and our new school used class dojo as in the 666 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:35,080 Speaker 1: app to communicate with the teachers. I don't know if 667 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,440 Speaker 1: your uses that as well, but that's made it really 668 00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:39,000 Speaker 1: easy to all of a sudden be able to see 669 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,520 Speaker 1: what's going on with the class, including get pictures and 670 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:44,240 Speaker 1: you can like text some questions and it's great. And 671 00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:48,240 Speaker 1: then also class what's up groups And again this has 672 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:52,600 Speaker 1: been no universal at both schools. The sort of room 673 00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:55,200 Speaker 1: parent has taken upon themselves to make a group so 674 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:57,680 Speaker 1: that everyone can communicate. Now, I always kind of think 675 00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,760 Speaker 1: it's funny when people are asking about first grade home 676 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:03,160 Speaker 1: or kindergarten and homework questions. It's like, you know, you 677 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,360 Speaker 1: don't know, you could just leave it blank and nothing 678 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:08,720 Speaker 1: bad would happen. But there are also useful things that 679 00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:10,640 Speaker 1: go up on those and it's just like a great 680 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:13,600 Speaker 1: way to feel included, even though I didn't know anyone. 681 00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:18,200 Speaker 1: So what's app for the class and also class dojo. Yeah, no, 682 00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:20,800 Speaker 1: that's great. My love of the week is this power 683 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:23,360 Speaker 1: school portal we have, which is not something I've really 684 00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:27,440 Speaker 1: needed until now. Well, they post our bus assignments and 685 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,600 Speaker 1: such in classroom assignments on it each year, so you 686 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:31,880 Speaker 1: sign in for that, but I hadn't signed in really 687 00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,520 Speaker 1: beyond that except for this year. It turns out for 688 00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:37,200 Speaker 1: the middle schoolers and for high schoolers, that's where the 689 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:41,000 Speaker 1: teachers post the grades on all assignments, you know, and 690 00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:43,640 Speaker 1: since it's not one teacher, it's lots of teachers, You're 691 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,000 Speaker 1: not really getting a lot of this coming home one 692 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,520 Speaker 1: way or the other. And your kid may or may 693 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,280 Speaker 1: not do that or report it. But if you want, 694 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,000 Speaker 1: you can see what your kid got on a quiz, 695 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,040 Speaker 1: and what your kid got on a homework assignment, and 696 00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:55,480 Speaker 1: what they got on a test, and if they turned 697 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:57,680 Speaker 1: in their project, and you know, if they didn't like 698 00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:59,560 Speaker 1: why they have a zero for a project that you 699 00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,960 Speaker 1: follow up on that with your kid, be like, why 700 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,720 Speaker 1: didn't you turn that in? But it just allows for 701 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:08,720 Speaker 1: a little bit of accountability on it, which I appreciate it. Now. 702 00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:11,560 Speaker 1: I'm not the kind of parent who's checking in every day. 703 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:15,240 Speaker 1: In fact, I generally let me tell you what I mean. Yeah, 704 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,560 Speaker 1: Like there were people that did that in kindergarten and 705 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:19,520 Speaker 1: they would tell me that, oh, I'm addicted to that, 706 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:21,360 Speaker 1: like we have a similar one, and I'm like, are 707 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:23,840 Speaker 1: you kidding me? Yeah, I checked it like three times 708 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,360 Speaker 1: in the year. Like, but sixth grade, I can see 709 00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:28,120 Speaker 1: the need to check a little bit more. I generally 710 00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:30,080 Speaker 1: only check in when he tells me to, and it's 711 00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:31,480 Speaker 1: because he wants to show me that he got a 712 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:33,959 Speaker 1: good grade on a quiz or something, and then I 713 00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:36,080 Speaker 1: look at the other stuff and ask how other things 714 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,280 Speaker 1: are going to I mean partly because I feel like 715 00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:41,080 Speaker 1: at this point in school, it's it's not about their grades, 716 00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:43,800 Speaker 1: it's about them learning to manage their workload and manage 717 00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:47,160 Speaker 1: their time. And so me getting like upset about stuff 718 00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,560 Speaker 1: or managing it for him and being like, you know, 719 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:52,040 Speaker 1: you need to work on this, and that's not the point. 720 00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:55,400 Speaker 1: It needs to be him taking responsibility for it. So 721 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:58,200 Speaker 1: that's but it's good to, you know, have something to 722 00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:01,400 Speaker 1: start a conversation, right, absolutely, And I think the ability 723 00:34:01,440 --> 00:34:04,800 Speaker 1: to check without harassing our kids to hey, is this 724 00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:08,760 Speaker 1: in your backpack or is great. Yeah, so that's been good, 725 00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:10,840 Speaker 1: all right, Well, this has been Best of Both Worlds. 726 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,480 Speaker 1: This is episode eighty. We've been talking about Sarah's recent 727 00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:16,600 Speaker 1: move and about how you move with a family and 728 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:20,160 Speaker 1: various things we've learned from that. We will be back 729 00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,520 Speaker 1: next week with more on making work and life fit together. 730 00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:28,960 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the 731 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:33,399 Speaker 1: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, 732 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:37,760 Speaker 1: and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 733 00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:41,400 Speaker 1: This has been the Best of Both Worlds podcasts. Please 734 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,080 Speaker 1: join us next time for more on making work and 735 00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:45,280 Speaker 1: life work together.