1 00:00:01,639 --> 00:00:04,120 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:11,640 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and 4 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,280 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read 6 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:19,840 Speaker 1: this one right here, right now, right here, and you 7 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,479 Speaker 1: never know, pop hoop, it could be yours. It could 8 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 1: be yours. Muckle up and hold on tight. We got 9 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 1: it for you. Strawberry Letter. Thank you. Nephew's subject my 10 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:34,320 Speaker 1: daughter is married to a hobo. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm concerned. 11 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,600 Speaker 1: I'm a concerned parent, and I know you're going to 12 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:39,839 Speaker 1: tell me to mind my business, but I can't this time. 13 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 1: I have a twenty nine year old daughter that is 14 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: in love with a trifling man. I know you can't 15 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: relate because you're a hard working man like my husband. 16 00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:52,280 Speaker 1: My daughter has lived a sheltered life with her father 17 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:57,000 Speaker 1: and I giving her every opportunity available. She graduated from 18 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,680 Speaker 1: a prestigious school in the top of her class and 19 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 1: makes six figures. The fact that she's in love with 20 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:06,640 Speaker 1: a hobo is puzzling to her father and I. This 21 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,120 Speaker 1: man won't take a nine to five job because he 22 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 1: doesn't want a boss. He wants to be one. He's 23 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,680 Speaker 1: had several failed business ventures, and I know my daughter 24 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 1: is funding all of them. She's told us that we're 25 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: old school, and the new generation of married couples believes 26 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 1: in one another's dreams and nothing is impossible. We're not 27 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,479 Speaker 1: that old, and we know that money makes the world 28 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,880 Speaker 1: go round. I have stopped paying her credit card bills 29 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 1: after I saw that she charged a bunch of printing 30 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,400 Speaker 1: equipment on her Amex so he could start up a 31 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,440 Speaker 1: T shirt business. They live in our old home, which 32 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,839 Speaker 1: she has done some nice upgrades in. They drive her car, 33 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,920 Speaker 1: which her father got for her as a gift after 34 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 1: her husband totaled her other one because he ran a 35 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: red light. It's one thing after the other, and I 36 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 1: don't know if she's pretending to be in love to 37 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,919 Speaker 1: spite us, or if she wants out and she doesn't 38 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 1: know how to tell us. I want this hobo to 39 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,320 Speaker 1: get it together and be the man that my daughter needs. 40 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 1: My husband send him a few job leads in the 41 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,560 Speaker 1: insurance field, and he said he can't work from home 42 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:13,119 Speaker 1: because he's a free spirit. He's not free spirited. He's 43 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,040 Speaker 1: a hobo and she can do better. Is there anything 44 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:21,120 Speaker 1: we can do to reach her? This sounds like just 45 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 1: a case of much was given to your daughter and 46 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,200 Speaker 1: nothing was required. I mean, first of all, you got 47 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 1: to stop calling him a hobo. He's a loser, this 48 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,440 Speaker 1: guy and a user, and he saw an opportunity and 49 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,959 Speaker 1: your daughter and he took it. You and your husband 50 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,480 Speaker 1: have done a great job with educating your daughter and 51 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: giving her the tools to make it in this world, 52 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:45,200 Speaker 1: and she's done that. But I think enough is enough. 53 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:48,520 Speaker 1: Now you got to stop giving her things. You're still 54 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:52,359 Speaker 1: spoiling her at twenty nine. I mean, how will her 55 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 1: man ever step up and start providing for her if 56 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 1: you guys are always there. Not that he would do 57 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 1: that anyway, because every time you present him with an opportunity, 58 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:03,200 Speaker 1: he has an excuse of why he shouldn't do it 59 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,799 Speaker 1: or can't do it. He knows you're gonna do for her. 60 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: There's no urgency for him to do anything for her. 61 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 1: It has nothing to do with being old school or 62 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 1: new school. He's just trifling and irresponsible. Like you said, 63 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 1: we see it, she just doesn't see it. The thing is, 64 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 1: he'll never be the man she needs. Doesn't sound like 65 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 1: he's built for it, and anyway, he's not doing it 66 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:28,840 Speaker 1: now at all. So how many failed businesses and business 67 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 1: ventures will it take before he understands that he needs 68 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:34,240 Speaker 1: to go to work until he can figure it out. 69 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,160 Speaker 1: The best thing you can do right now is to 70 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,560 Speaker 1: try to make sure your daughter is saving and investing 71 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:41,120 Speaker 1: at least some of her money so she won't give 72 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 1: it all to this loser. Then you got to stay 73 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 1: out of it, you know, and maybe somehow, some way 74 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 1: she'll see that he's not the man for her. He's 75 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:52,120 Speaker 1: never gonna do anything. He is the true definition of 76 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 1: a loser. Steve, Oh, hobo is an interesting word. My 77 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 1: daughter is married to a hobo. I wouldn't describe him 78 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 1: as that. He's in it. She's enabling this guy who 79 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:14,240 Speaker 1: doesn't somebody he hasn't been around, the same thing that 80 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: your daughter grew up looking at a man and a 81 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 1: woman worked together, a man providing she didn't understand that 82 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: that's what it was. She's taken on this role of 83 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 1: a nurturer, and she's gonna pay for it in the 84 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 1: long run. Now, your parents and your daughter twenty nine, 85 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:35,080 Speaker 1: and you know she lived a shelter life, and her 86 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:39,920 Speaker 1: father and I given her every opportunity available. Graduated from 87 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,920 Speaker 1: She's just school and top of class, she makes six figures, 88 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:47,719 Speaker 1: and that she's in love with a hobo that won't 89 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 1: take a nine to five because he doesn't want a boss. 90 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:54,160 Speaker 1: He wants to be one. He's had several fair business ventures, 91 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 1: and you know your daughter's funding him. She told us 92 00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 1: that y'all old school and the new generation of married 93 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 1: couples believes that one another's dreams nothing is impossible. Well, 94 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 1: that's true, that you can believe in one another's dreams, 95 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:17,839 Speaker 1: and nothing is impossible if you're not the right person 96 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: for the job. Though, we have a problem, and it 97 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,680 Speaker 1: just strikes me from the letter, and I know you 98 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 1: and your husband have noticed this. He doesn't seem to 99 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 1: show up anywhere in any way doing anything positive. So 100 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:37,360 Speaker 1: it's a carryover effect, y'all. If you're nothing in one 101 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,840 Speaker 1: area of your life and you don't work on it, 102 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,840 Speaker 1: you will be nothing in other areas until finally you've 103 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 1: mastered the art of being nothing nowhere and everywhere. Now y'all, 104 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 1: engave a girl everything in her life, gave our AMAX card. 105 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 1: He didn't put a bunch of Prittan equipment on it 106 00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:03,279 Speaker 1: so he can start a T shirt business. Boy, you know, 107 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 1: putting how much of my American expression? Because you're gonna 108 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:10,520 Speaker 1: start on what a printing bid where you live in 109 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 1: her house that y'all gave him, she'd have fixed it up. 110 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:19,880 Speaker 1: He and there, and here's the funny part. All your 111 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:23,279 Speaker 1: husband has given him, uh several leads for insurance job. 112 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:25,359 Speaker 1: He says he can't work from home because he a 113 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,920 Speaker 1: free spirit. He's not free spirit, he's a whole bow. 114 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,159 Speaker 1: And she could do better? Is that anything we could 115 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,120 Speaker 1: do to reach her? When I come back, I'm gonna 116 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 1: answer that question. And then we're gonna do a reenactment 117 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 1: of me making up excuses why I can't take a job. 118 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:43,240 Speaker 1: You know, all right, Steve, hang on, we'll have part 119 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 1: two of Steve's response coming up at twenty three minutes 120 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,799 Speaker 1: after the hour. Today's Strawberry letter subject is my daughter 121 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,480 Speaker 1: is married to a hobo. We'll get back into it 122 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening, all right, Come on, Steve, 123 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:01,200 Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry letter. The subject my daughter is 124 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:06,680 Speaker 1: married to a whole bowl. Well, yeah, you got kind 125 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 1: of a problem. Let's go to Lutcal. She's twenty nine. 126 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 1: She's married to a guy that won't work. Your husband 127 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:16,400 Speaker 1: had offered to give him jobs insurance business. He said 128 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 1: he can't work for nobody because he's a boss himself. 129 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 1: Let me give you the exact words that he can't 130 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:31,960 Speaker 1: work for anybody because he's a free spirit. Being free 131 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:36,720 Speaker 1: costs money. Being captured costs money. You know. She told 132 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,600 Speaker 1: that you all an old school and this is how 133 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 1: the new school families are doing it. Let me just 134 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: get on down here to the end of the letter. 135 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 1: He's not a free spirit, he's whole born. She can 136 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 1: do better. Is that anything we could do to reach her? 137 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 1: Here's what I have to say. You can do some 138 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 1: things to reach her, but it'd be a whole lot 139 00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 1: easier to reach him because he ain't at work. Uh 140 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,800 Speaker 1: Me and Tommy had a company we started a few 141 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:13,040 Speaker 1: years ago called ride down there dot com and we 142 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 1: created a website if you just wanted us to ride 143 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:19,760 Speaker 1: down now on somebody. And this looks like a perfect 144 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 1: job for ride down that dot Com because he just 145 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 1: needed he right, she can do better? Is there anything 146 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:34,800 Speaker 1: we can do to reach her or him? Because you 147 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:38,199 Speaker 1: want to you want a man to uh make an adjustment. 148 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 1: All you got to do. He doesn't want to work 149 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,720 Speaker 1: from home because he's a free spirit. And she said, 150 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: he's not a free spirit. He's a whole boat. And 151 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,680 Speaker 1: she can do better. Is there anything we could do 152 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:53,200 Speaker 1: to reach her? Sometimes you got to reach him, and 153 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,280 Speaker 1: the father needs to slide around the daughter and put 154 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 1: some words and some wisdom up in his head away 155 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,839 Speaker 1: from the door. Now, when the daughter find out, she 156 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,319 Speaker 1: gonna be mad because he gonna tell her because he's 157 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,559 Speaker 1: a little punk dude, so he gonna tell her. But 158 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,000 Speaker 1: be ready for that. But sometimes you got to help 159 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 1: your daughter out. Look, cause see the husband, y'all ain't 160 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 1: in love with him. And what's the problem that your 161 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 1: daughter got is she in love with him? So she 162 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,520 Speaker 1: missing a lot of stuff. Y'all looking upside his head 163 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:23,600 Speaker 1: because y'all ain't in love with him. So you gotta 164 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 1: ease up on him and just put something on his head. 165 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:29,920 Speaker 1: So now that's the answer to that. How do we 166 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,800 Speaker 1: reach her? You might not be able to, but you 167 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:35,400 Speaker 1: can damn sure reach him and just say little stuff 168 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: in his ear, like leave her or die. The horrible movie, 169 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:52,240 Speaker 1: I see your punk ass like if he ball headed, 170 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:56,680 Speaker 1: Like walk up behind him, daddy and just lick his 171 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,120 Speaker 1: head and when he turned around, be staying at him 172 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:08,560 Speaker 1: with your head at tilt. Yeah, I'm trying to tell 173 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:15,560 Speaker 1: you how to get it started. Okay, So that would 174 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,960 Speaker 1: scare him, I think so. I think that would scare 175 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 1: him though, when you think, because his problem is he 176 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 1: don't want to do nothing. So ask me any questions 177 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,680 Speaker 1: about going to get a job anything. Watch watch what 178 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:27,840 Speaker 1: he doing? Well? Have you looked for anything? Have you 179 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:34,080 Speaker 1: filled out any applications today? Oh? I feel like applications everything? Yeah? Well, 180 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 1: any prospects, any callbacks? Oh? No? Anybody car? You know 181 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:45,520 Speaker 1: it's a pandemic. Most companies don't even have somebody at 182 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 1: the front answer phones. Well, you can work from home. 183 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 1: I can't do that. I'm too free spirited. Yeah, I 184 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 1: got to be out there end of the streets. You know, 185 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 1: you do? You know you do not have a car. 186 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 1: You're driving my daughter's car. Get your own car. Oh, 187 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:10,360 Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Man. We married yea to each his own 188 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 1: and own it is each. He quotes scriptures that ain't 189 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:20,679 Speaker 1: even been about it. Man, since callin, when are you 190 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:24,160 Speaker 1: going to contribute to this? Household. You know that's a 191 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 1: cool song because it can't you know when you say 192 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:34,120 Speaker 1: we that's what they made me think of. That was Jim. 193 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:38,080 Speaker 1: Did you like that song? Yeah? Leave in Vogue out 194 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,040 Speaker 1: of this. I'm want to know when a you're gonna 195 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,959 Speaker 1: contribute to this household and not have it all the 196 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,800 Speaker 1: burden on my daughter. That's my question to you. Oh 197 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 1: but see you you acted like it's a burden on her. 198 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:54,599 Speaker 1: It is it's fifty fifty. Well, well, Hi, it's a 199 00:11:54,679 --> 00:12:00,920 Speaker 1: burden if you got fifty. Oh, he's sorry. Do you 200 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 1: understand I've canceled her credit cards because she I noticed 201 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:07,680 Speaker 1: that she paid money to get your printing equipment for 202 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:14,320 Speaker 1: your You cancel who credit card her? Amax? What is 203 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:18,040 Speaker 1: we gonna do without the credit card? Miss Hazel? I thought, 204 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 1: get a job? Yeah, I think you need to work 205 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:29,240 Speaker 1: from home. M h See that's why a black man 206 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 1: can't hand nothing, got nothing to do with r pulled 207 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 1: the race card. I pulled the race card on some 208 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:44,360 Speaker 1: all the black people. We all black. Whatever you know, 209 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:49,720 Speaker 1: you don't it, surely don't look like it, and get 210 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:51,959 Speaker 1: out of my house. We bought this house for her, 211 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 1: not for you. I can tell you right now, lady, 212 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 1: you ain't really hurting my feelings. We see Thank you. Steve. 213 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,199 Speaker 1: Post your coming sun Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve HARBFM 214 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,599 Speaker 1: on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast 215 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,560 Speaker 1: on demand and coming up at forty six minutes after 216 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,840 Speaker 1: the hour. You know what it is, It's time for 217 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 1: junior and sports talk. Right after this, you're listening to 218 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,280 Speaker 1: this Dave Harvey Morning Show