Speaker 1: Pots Talk, Parts Talk, punks talk, poks talk. I know,
Speaker 1: I know, I said, I'm sorry, Okay, what else you
Speaker 1: want me to do? Build a damn rocket ship and
Speaker 1: flyer cheese Louise Hi? Everybody, Okays, I'm sorry. I'm a
Speaker 1: little bit frazzled this morning because I'm way to the studio,
Speaker 1: stuck in traffic. I was sitting completely still on nine
Speaker 1: ninety five, right behind the wall wat truck for an
Speaker 1: hour and a half. I mean, can you imagine me
Speaker 1: sitting here in my day laundra making direct eye contact
Speaker 1: with the picture of a steaming hotsop Broughtson. My dog
Speaker 1: was screaming. I swear to god, I was about four
Speaker 1: minutes from taking the flare gun out of my emergency
Speaker 1: kid in my trunk and robin that truck. I mean,
Speaker 1: I would have done it anyways, this Parks Talk. I'm
Speaker 1: doctor Needsy Pitts, Wilmington, Delawares, number one female obg y
Speaker 1: N and here on Parts Talk we talk about all
Speaker 1: things parts. I'm talking the nasty downstairs ones and some
Speaker 1: of the fun ones up top. What all the highways
Speaker 1: are shut down? Because oh what he's here. The bidens
Speaker 1: are here. The first Family of America is in town. Boy,
Speaker 1: Ryan Phillippi, I think we found today's Biden's body. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm upset about the traffic before, but now I don't care.
Speaker 1: I spend the rest of my life starving to death
Speaker 1: behind the WALLWAT truck have been meant that the Biden's
Speaker 1: got where they needed to go. I mean, heck, I
Speaker 1: think everyone should be put a mandatory house rest when
Speaker 1: they're in town. Get out of their way. They've got
Speaker 1: places to be. Oh god, I wonder if doctor Jill
Speaker 1: is going to have enough time to stop at Crabby
Speaker 1: Dicks or Soft Show. She loves those things. The Bidens
Speaker 1: really are the Kennedy's of Bellaware, if you think about it.
Speaker 1: I mean, heck, they're even better than the Kennedy's, more
Speaker 1: dignified and classy, like the Kennedy's gotten in trouble, you know,
Speaker 1: going to Martha's vineyard and partying with Marilyn and whatnot.
Speaker 1: But the Bidens they're just down a robe of beach,
Speaker 1: riding their bikes, getting again, maybe playing a game of
Speaker 1: cards after dinner. They're like everybody else, but so much better. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: let's just say that's pretty much the most exciting thing
Speaker 1: had happened to me all year if you want to
Speaker 1: really think about it, I mean, my niece's communion just
Speaker 1: doesn't compare. Now, I'm real excited for this next segment
Speaker 1: because it's about the people that are the backbones of
Speaker 1: the health system and don't get hardly enough credit. I'm
Speaker 1: talking nurses. I love nurses so much. Honestly, if I
Speaker 1: weren't a doctor, I would be a nurse. Doctors are
Speaker 1: awkward mouth breathers with serial killer handwriting, and nurses are
Speaker 1: angels from heaven who wears SpongeBob Scrow. So today we're
Speaker 1: going to take a second to shout out all the
Speaker 1: nurses who saved my ass every day and the things
Speaker 1: I would do for them if I had to. In
Speaker 1: a little segment we like to call nurses, I would
Speaker 1: die for Carla and Pete's. I'd sell my hair for
Speaker 1: us like gift to the Magi. Nicole from Nanick you
Speaker 1: first of all, great name job Combo. You can have
Speaker 1: my car. I might need a ride, but you can
Speaker 1: have it. Keisha, the way you hold forceps, I'd give
Speaker 1: you a kidney bone marrow, whatever you need, Ellen, mortgage
Speaker 1: my house, Tom and Pediatrics Jack shit, Tom, Male nurses
Speaker 1: get a bad rep and you're not doing a good
Speaker 1: job helping that. Oh you think you're better than me
Speaker 1: because you have the vending machine on your floor with
Speaker 1: the peanut butter TwixT bars. You're not better than me.
Speaker 1: You know what she did and arrhymes with pull my
Speaker 1: darking pace. That's right, you stole my parking space. Also,
Speaker 1: I saw your girlfriend once and I could see her thong.
Speaker 1: This has been nurses. I would die for. Fuck you, Tom.
Speaker 1: So let's get into today's topic, which is sex ed
Speaker 1: short for education. So a lot of you use guys
Speaker 1: at home might not know this, but to avoid spending
Speaker 1: time in my own house, I also do sexual education
Speaker 1: assemblies at high schools. Yeah, about fifteen percent of the
Speaker 1: kids have already had children of their own, but there's
Speaker 1: always that other eighty five percent, and the school district
Speaker 1: is so underfunded. They had the gym teachers teaching health
Speaker 1: and jazz choir, so I figured i'd take some of
Speaker 1: that off their plate. My latest assembly left me so
Speaker 1: inspired that I've devoted this episode to sex ed for
Speaker 1: the utes. You know what I always say, You're never
Speaker 1: too much of a baby to learn how babies are made.
Speaker 1: I mean, why wish they'd let me teach sex? Said
Speaker 1: the kindergarteners. Now, something they learned very early working in
Speaker 1: schools is when talking about the body, you cannot show
Speaker 1: the student's pornography too. Many parents call so as a
Speaker 1: visual aid. I always use puppets, And as you can see,
Speaker 1: I haven't them here. They can't see because it's a podcast.
Speaker 1: Well they'll get it. So this is the essential information
Speaker 1: that I give the kids about their changing bodies. In
Speaker 1: a segment I like to call puberty puppets. See this,
Speaker 1: See what he has between his legs. That's normal, okay,
Speaker 1: And see her these get bigger, that's normal. They don't
Speaker 1: get that much bigger. Normal too. God bless us us
Speaker 1: all in different ways. God made us all normal. See
Speaker 1: this hair here normal? That here there normal. The hair
Speaker 1: there that's unsightly but technically normal. Up to you if
Speaker 1: you ask your parents to get that lasered off. And
Speaker 1: when the two puppets get aroused, this is normal. That's normal.
Speaker 1: This goes there normal, They go here, normal. She might
Speaker 1: go up here, guys go down there. Same sex couples
Speaker 1: normal normal, normal, normal. But the safest thing you can
Speaker 1: do is all just diddle yourselves and tell her at
Speaker 1: least twenty five, which, as you can see, is what
Speaker 1: the puppets are doing right now. Okay, well, I don't
Speaker 1: know what my producers were talking about, because I think
Speaker 1: that went great. Everybody got it and everybody learned something.
Speaker 1: So suck my dick. Oh sorry, I'm irritable this morning.
Speaker 1: I forgot to put coffee in my wawah cuple half
Speaker 1: and half cut to me just sucking on cream, wondering
Speaker 1: why I have a headache. Well, folks, I'm so excited
Speaker 1: for our guest this episode. She's real get for us.
Speaker 1: She's a student at the DuPont Chemical Junior Senior High School,
Speaker 1: and I met her when I was teaching sex, said there.
Speaker 1: She ended up teaching me so much. You know, these
Speaker 1: gen Z kids, they're so thanks smart. When I was
Speaker 1: their age, I spent half my time trying to figure
Speaker 1: out how to get on Jovie tickets. I saw him
Speaker 1: five times, even stuck backstage once. Yeah, I showed the
Speaker 1: security guy my nipple. Can you let me pass right by?
Speaker 1: He was a sweet man, But joke's on him because
Speaker 1: it wasn't my nipple. It was a grape skittle. On
Speaker 1: a slice of pepperoni. Anyway, please welcome to the show
Speaker 1: local high school student and teen sex expert Cassie. Hi,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for having me. Oh, Cassie, thank
Speaker 1: you so much for doing parts talk. I have a
Speaker 1: form that they got to email you so your parents
Speaker 1: get permission for you to be on here. But anyway, Cassie,
Speaker 1: you're a teen sex expert. Is that right? Yeah, that's correct.
Speaker 1: I am. Everyone comes to me for um, sex, that's
Speaker 1: sound cool. So are they are they asking me about
Speaker 1: the kind of sex do you head? Or just kind
Speaker 1: of general questions? Well, you know, some people are coming
Speaker 1: to me to have sex with me. Some people are
Speaker 1: asking me questions about like sex in general. Um, And
Speaker 1: I'm always happy to help because, um, yeah, I just
Speaker 1: know these things. God, Cassie, you know, I'm proud of
Speaker 1: you and I don't even know you. So tell me
Speaker 1: a little baby about yourself, because because I'm thinking, gosh,
Speaker 1: you know, Cassie, you're you're in the sex said Assembly,
Speaker 1: You're you're speaking to the youths. You start, you start
Speaker 1: getting up there with me on stage, you start kind
Speaker 1: of correcting me, and then I'm thinking, God, this squirrel Cassie.
Speaker 1: She's so smart. I see the other day below looking
Speaker 1: at the long Shois there a queen. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: it just to me and Orange Julius slash Dairy Queen
Speaker 1: is the perfect intersection of America. To me, Orange Julius
Speaker 1: Dairy Queen is America. So I find it to be
Speaker 1: just like the perfect place for me to interact with people,
Speaker 1: learn about people, know about things. It's just like it's
Speaker 1: really powerful actually to be serving a smoothie. And you know,
Speaker 1: for our listeners out there. Cassie, she works at the
Speaker 1: Christianimal Okay, not the Conquering Watch works, so Christianimal, the
Speaker 1: nice one. She's a career woman. M you know, those
Speaker 1: smoothies are so good. Turns out I heard they're just
Speaker 1: ice cream. Is that true? Well, I would say about
Speaker 1: eighty percent ice cream. But what is that if not nutrients?
Speaker 1: I love that, and that's science. And as a medical doctor,
Speaker 1: I can agree with Cassie one. Um, Cassie, how'd you
Speaker 1: get so wise? You know? Some say that I was
Speaker 1: kind of born that way. I don't really remember one
Speaker 1: or two, but uh, people would say I would lie
Speaker 1: on my back and just sort of have these moments
Speaker 1: where it felt like I was really clear. I'd go
Speaker 1: someone would be asking for keys and I couldn't even talk,
Speaker 1: and I would go and I would find the keys.
Speaker 1: You know. So I just I feel like I've always
Speaker 1: had this presence inside of me. You know. I saved
Speaker 1: my uncle who was choking one time before he even
Speaker 1: had started gasping for air. So, oh my god. So
Speaker 1: you're kind of a little freak. Not what you're saying,
Speaker 1: You're that's I mean freak. Wow. So the orientations of
Speaker 1: that work, it's just, um, it's many historied, and like
Speaker 1: you know, I think we have to respect the surfaces
Speaker 1: performer community when we think about the word freak. And
Speaker 1: so that's kind of why I like, you know, you
Speaker 1: saw me. I kind of shivered, you know, my third
Speaker 1: eyes sort of just like went up my spine. And
Speaker 1: you know, Kessey got to be patient with me because
Speaker 1: I am a medical doctor and I am topping my
Speaker 1: field in the state. But my inform a different generation. UM,
Speaker 1: and that I think is gen element no P And
Speaker 1: what general are you? Um? I you know, I don't
Speaker 1: subscribe to the generations. I feel intergenerational UM personally. Okay,
Speaker 1: my next question for you Cassie, what is gender? And
Speaker 1: is it okay? If I say it? You can say
Speaker 1: the word gender for sure? That is that is that's
Speaker 1: actually well within your right as a doctor. UM, and
Speaker 1: I hope thank you would personally thank you. I've been
Speaker 1: really causing and turning around that one, so that clarification
Speaker 1: is awesome. Uh, Cassie, were you when you grow up? Um?
Speaker 1: I'd love to be taller. Um, that's my biggest goal.
Speaker 1: But if that doesn't happen, I think I'd love to
Speaker 1: go to Um, I'd love to go to Bring him
Speaker 1: Young University, Bring them Young. Yeah, that's sure. No, it's
Speaker 1: actually in Utah. I have like a real fascination of
Speaker 1: just kind of understanding Mormonism. Don't really want to become one,
Speaker 1: don't actually even want to study that at school, but
Speaker 1: just kind of want to dive in. And then maybe
Speaker 1: you know, moved to Milan. Oh, well that sounds really amazing. Um.
Speaker 1: You know I had I had a girlfriend of mine
Speaker 1: from a high school. She was Mormon, and all of
Speaker 1: her brothers were smoking hot and they all played music together.
Speaker 1: And then when day we were at the beach and
Speaker 1: they're all wearing long Johns under their bikinis, you know. Now,
Speaker 1: it's an interesting culture for sure. I'm not particularly interested
Speaker 1: in joining, like you said, but maybe be fun to
Speaker 1: go to college with them. Oh, now it's time for
Speaker 1: the Q and A section of this episode. This week,
Speaker 1: I asked all our team listeners to submit us questions,
Speaker 1: and I thought that, you know, Cassie, being the wise, beautiful,
Speaker 1: perfect daughter that she is, should be perfect to answer
Speaker 1: some of these questions. So, Cassie, are you're ready to
Speaker 1: hear what the Uts of Delaware have to say? Absolutely,
Speaker 1: I'm ready to listen and I'm ready to give. Well,
Speaker 1: this first question comes from the pressingly warny. The pressingly
Speaker 1: Horny says, my boyfriend is on a very high dose
Speaker 1: of Lexa pro and can only get hard once a month.
Speaker 1: Is it possible to get pregnant from doing its soft serve? Now, Cassie,
Speaker 1: I gotta ask doing it soft serve? I'm assuming that's
Speaker 1: when the boyfriend just kind of squishes the soft dick
Speaker 1: and balls kind of into the vagina. Am I am?
Speaker 1: I correct? And assuming that that's absolutely correct? And I
Speaker 1: actually have to say that doing it soft serve is
Speaker 1: a really beautiful experience. It can be really intimate it
Speaker 1: can be really you know, sensitive and just kind of
Speaker 1: stuffing it inside when it's all in there and you
Speaker 1: just kind of as the woman you're just shaking, And
Speaker 1: that's actually can be a really pleasurable, fun, kind of
Speaker 1: weird sort of like what if you could put the
Speaker 1: blob inside of you sort of experience which I find
Speaker 1: can be really exciting. And yes, you can get pregnant
Speaker 1: that way. That's how my best friend got pregnant and
Speaker 1: now she lives two tones over fascinating. Fascinating. Yeah, Patrick,
Speaker 1: you know, I always say to him, I wish you'd
Speaker 1: thick was a mechanical pencil, you know, I could just
Speaker 1: kind of press on me your racer and then being bamboom.
Speaker 1: I'm ready to write an essay, you know, but um pe,
Speaker 1: we're working on it. He takes some work. Um okay.
Speaker 1: Our next question comes from Volleyball Star. Volleyball Star says,
Speaker 1: my friend is dating a much older man and I'm
Speaker 1: starting to think he might be groom in her. What
Speaker 1: should I do now, Cassie? Groom in that terminology? Are
Speaker 1: we talking like dog grooming? Like? Is he putting little
Speaker 1: burettes in her ears and kind of clipping the hairs
Speaker 1: next to her, but what's grooming? Listen. I wish he
Speaker 1: was clipping the hairs next to her, but because you know, ladies,
Speaker 1: we have to talk about it. They're long, all right,
Speaker 1: But I wish that's what he was doing. But sadly, no,
Speaker 1: he's probably a much older wild man who is trying
Speaker 1: to make this young girl be presentable for him and
Speaker 1: make her think that she needs to be with him,
Speaker 1: even though he's older and disgusting. Probably, and probably it
Speaker 1: has like weird old people diseases like hemorrhoids or cancer.
Speaker 1: And okay, next question, gritty girl. Gritty girl says, my
Speaker 1: church mute group is doing a Christmas activity pageant, and
Speaker 1: our choir director told me that I could have played
Speaker 1: the Virgin Mary because I wouldn't be able to relate
Speaker 1: to the character. Am I being slutchined by my church?
Speaker 1: I mean, ultimately, why do you even want to play
Speaker 1: the Virgin Mary? I mean, and I don't want to
Speaker 1: be a girl that's not immaculate conception by some foreign being. Uh,
Speaker 1: let it be a little doll or whatever. It's not
Speaker 1: your responsibility. And if you're having sex, that's really cool.
Speaker 1: And I bet they're just jealous the fact that they
Speaker 1: don't get to anymore if you're a youth pastor, I
Speaker 1: mean you practically. I mean that is just that's just
Speaker 1: Ken Doll all down there, Cassie. You're so freaking woke.
Speaker 1: It's like I feel like I was asleep my whole
Speaker 1: life and then I hear you talk and it's like, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: a hundred times yes. Um, you know, I didn't even
Speaker 1: know was Mary. I'm gonna say something crazy, okay, and yes,
Speaker 1: And people that listen to pod they know that I'm
Speaker 1: one hundred percent Catholic all the way, except I don't
Speaker 1: believe in it and I don't practice it. Was Mary
Speaker 1: actually a virgin? Okay, Like I'm just gonna say it
Speaker 1: because you know, I'm an OBITCHI man, I've seen some stuff.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of girls that come into the office,
Speaker 1: you know, out this year with the belly, and they're
Speaker 1: sitting down from their moms and dads and they're saying,
Speaker 1: I don't know what happened. You know, I had no
Speaker 1: idea how this came to be. Maybe it's some miracles,
Speaker 1: you know, And I just kind of feel like Mary.
Speaker 1: She was a teen, she was gorgeous, She had a
Speaker 1: flop of a husband. You know, things kind of happened. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I think that Mary was well within her
Speaker 1: right to enjoy her body. And if Joseph put a
Speaker 1: baby in her, I mean, frankly, if I was Joseph,
Speaker 1: I would be confused. Where did this baby come from?
Speaker 1: If not for me, it came from God. Crazy. It
Speaker 1: definitely looks suspicious to me. But you know, I was
Speaker 1: never in that situation, and I can't judge what they
Speaker 1: might have done in Bethlehem during that time. You know, Well,
Speaker 1: maybe you can investigate that when you're going to college
Speaker 1: and bring them youngs. Yeah. No, I definitely think I could.
Speaker 1: I think the Mores have a specific view on that.
Speaker 1: I'm really hoping I can learn a lot from them
Speaker 1: and just how they have sex and how they help
Speaker 1: each other have sex u and not have sex. I
Speaker 1: should say it will be really interesting, I think. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for somebody as a sexually empowered as you, Cassie, I
Speaker 1: can't wait for you to go to bring them young university.
Speaker 1: You know, Um, this actually reminds me of a funny story.
Speaker 1: I actually had to deliver a baby in a major once.
Speaker 1: H Yeah, it was such a mess and Uh, you
Speaker 1: know the placenta was kind of mixed up with the
Speaker 1: hay and that you know, all the sheeps started eating it.
Speaker 1: And I said, hey, you know, sheeps, that percenta is
Speaker 1: for the mom to eat. Okay, Um, but yeah, you
Speaker 1: know that's just gonna happen when you're out in slower
Speaker 1: lower Dollaware people are having babies on farms down there. Okay.
Speaker 1: Next question, long distance de niece. Okay distance. Then he says,
Speaker 1: my girlfriend is a sophomore you see Santa Cruz, but
Speaker 1: I go to Dell Tech. What are some ways that
Speaker 1: we can get our transcontinental nut? Wow, that's an excellent question,
Speaker 1: and I have an answer for that. Um. First of all,
Speaker 1: you're gonna need a FaceTime remote and at least three
Speaker 1: or four UM controllable dildos. That would be my biggest
Speaker 1: recommendation because you could just be sitting on it in
Speaker 1: California and then yes, operated in Delaware. Um. I also
Speaker 1: up and does that happen like with an app? Yeah?
Speaker 1: An up. It's like I think like batteries, um, satellites. Okay.
Speaker 1: See now I'm not really good at technical stuff, So Cassie,
Speaker 1: could you like kind of set that up on my
Speaker 1: phone if I had to, because, um, two things. Number one,
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm getting texts anymore, and uh, I
Speaker 1: want to change my ring tone, and I definitely need
Speaker 1: help installing some sort of app like that on like
Speaker 1: you know, like a you know, I'm just not good
Speaker 1: with phones. Oh absolutely no, I can totally set that
Speaker 1: up for you. I've done it for tons of my friends.
Speaker 1: I have it myself. It's super super easy. I will
Speaker 1: also say another way that you can kind of connect
Speaker 1: in that way, it's just sort of by closing your
Speaker 1: eyes and thinking of the person. I know it sounds crazy,
Speaker 1: but actually they can kind of feel that you're thinking
Speaker 1: about them when you are thinking about them, and they
Speaker 1: feel it, and then they're thinking about you, and then
Speaker 1: you can feel them thinking about you over there when
Speaker 1: you're thinking about that. And what is that? That's like?
Speaker 1: That's like a telekinesis kind of like you know, when
Speaker 1: you were a baby and you knew, you know where
Speaker 1: your uncle was. You know, is that some sort of
Speaker 1: like E T phone home power? Um No, I think
Speaker 1: this is a power that we all possess naturally inside
Speaker 1: our bodies, that we can just act with people from
Speaker 1: a distance. We just don't let ourselves do it. You
Speaker 1: can actually get pregnant that way too. It's actually really crazy.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, I've seen that before. I've seen that before.
Speaker 1: I've seen them, you know, really really horny teenagers or um,
Speaker 1: you know, people in the military that are far away
Speaker 1: from their wives. Yeah, I've seen them. I've seen women
Speaker 1: get pregnant just kind of by thinking really hard, yeah,
Speaker 1: thinking yeah, yeah, yeah, I see. It just got outed
Speaker 1: to websters. You can look that up. Oh wait, they
Speaker 1: it just got out of to websters, like maybe a
Speaker 1: couple days ago. Just got at it. Well, just to clarify, um,
Speaker 1: you know, you can't get pregnant just by thinking really
Speaker 1: hard about somebody. But then eventually, you know, uh, seemen
Speaker 1: needs to enter that obum for it to actually happen.
Speaker 1: I feel like I should say that because you know,
Speaker 1: people listen to the podcasts for medical advice. That's actually
Speaker 1: the entire point of the podcast and them, so so
Speaker 1: just so nobody gets confused. Final answer, You can get
Speaker 1: pregnantious by thinking about someone. Yeah, but also eventually you
Speaker 1: do need to have some sort of sex or insemination
Speaker 1: for it to actually happen. I don't see those thoughts
Speaker 1: as different, because don't you always carry around like a
Speaker 1: small vial of semen um. I don't, but I know
Speaker 1: some people who do. Yeah, if you're in a relationship,
Speaker 1: I just like I respectfully. I do it as a
Speaker 1: sign of respect. I do it, and I carry it
Speaker 1: and I keep it cold, and I keep it in
Speaker 1: my bag with me. And then whenever I'm having those thoughts,
Speaker 1: I think, well, well maybe, and then put it in
Speaker 1: and that you know I have. I've talked about this
Speaker 1: on the show before. I am swimming in medical dildos.
Speaker 1: I am swimming in in dilation um apparatus. You know,
Speaker 1: you got badinsmus you got you got something you need
Speaker 1: a you need to open er up. And actually I'm
Speaker 1: gonna show I'm gonna show one of the medical dildos
Speaker 1: right now. I have one actually just kind of right here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is it. And this is a medical instrument. Okay.
Speaker 1: We order this from the same place that we order
Speaker 1: the gowns that people wear, and h this doesn't have
Speaker 1: a ramote on it. So I actually wouldn't suggest investing
Speaker 1: in one. But you know, if you're ever by the
Speaker 1: hospital and you need me to fill out a prescription
Speaker 1: for one of these guys. You know, I got a
Speaker 1: million of them. Wow, that's such a generous offer. Just
Speaker 1: people can go to the hospital and they can pick
Speaker 1: up a dildo for free. Well, you have to have
Speaker 1: insurance otherwise. It's like a round a thousand dollars though.
Speaker 1: But we also have a you know, I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: swimming in lube. You know, if anybody needs lube, you know,
Speaker 1: bye bye. We got quartz, we got pints, we got
Speaker 1: gallon tanks, you know, the industrial stuff, because we have
Speaker 1: to a lot of leap over yere. Wow. I you know,
Speaker 1: and I do consider myself an expert, but I had
Speaker 1: no idea that you were keeping so much of that
Speaker 1: kind of thing at the doctor's office at hospitals. You have,
Speaker 1: like because that that was a real I mean that
Speaker 1: was like almost twelve inches and it was pretty thick,
Speaker 1: like it almost seemed like a tree trunk practically. And
Speaker 1: that's and that's just a medical grade dildo though. That's
Speaker 1: medical grade. That is the that is the oxycotton of buildouts. Wow, Cassie,
Speaker 1: I gotta say, just talking to you, if you don't
Speaker 1: become a doctor, I'm gonna kill myself. No, the modical
Speaker 1: field No, you're like Patch Adams. You got a gift
Speaker 1: for this stuff. Oh my gosh, stop. No, I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't be a doctor. I literally cannot be. You
Speaker 1: just have to go to you just have to go
Speaker 1: to school for like fifteen years. No, I can't be
Speaker 1: a doctor. No, I'm just I am destined to be
Speaker 1: kind of a plains woman. You know. I think I
Speaker 1: want to live on the prairie. Cassie the three words
Speaker 1: for you, Doctor Quinn medicine woman. Okay, she did it,
Speaker 1: so can you. I don't want to put too much
Speaker 1: pressure on you, but if you're not a medical doctor,
Speaker 1: your life is going to be a waste. Because you
Speaker 1: have a gift and you have understanding. At least become
Speaker 1: a chiropractor at least. I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know that I could do it. Are you sure?
Speaker 1: Look you I've seen you at the Ernst Julius, I've
Speaker 1: seen it at school. I think you have a talent
Speaker 1: and I would make some calls for you. I really would. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll think about it. I'll think about it. You said,
Speaker 1: doctor Quinn medicine woman, Doctor Quinn medicine woman. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 1: Her husband it's a great show. Oh it's about it's
Speaker 1: about a woman who's kind of in olden times and
Speaker 1: she's a doctor, and she's a medicine woman. It's a
Speaker 1: really powerful Wait. I'm gonna have to check that out.
Speaker 1: You should definitely check it out. I think you can
Speaker 1: only get on VHS at the library, but maybe it's
Speaker 1: on YouTube's I don't know. Okay, we have one last question. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: our last question is Anonymous. Anonymous says, my parents forgot
Speaker 1: to cancel their HBO subscription after Mayor of Eastown ended
Speaker 1: amazing show. Perfectly accurate documentary to me, So now I
Speaker 1: use it to watch you throw you up. How do
Speaker 1: I make my sex life exactly like the show euphoria? Oh? Wow,
Speaker 1: that is a good question. Okay, I'm ann answer. Just
Speaker 1: say one word lighting. Get yourself some purple mood lights,
Speaker 1: you know, get yourself on Amazon. When those little mini
Speaker 1: discos kind of a then it feels like you're kind
Speaker 1: of in a mood, you're kind of having sex and euphorias.
Speaker 1: I mean, that is so smart. That's actually one of
Speaker 1: my first suggestions I would make is to turn as
Speaker 1: many lights off as you can and you know. I
Speaker 1: think most actually teens have her number. I would just
Speaker 1: text Zindaia. Um. I would just text her, hit her
Speaker 1: up and be like, hey, girl, you remember me from
Speaker 1: this thing, because I feel like most of us have
Speaker 1: some level of relationship and you can just try and
Speaker 1: see if maybe you can have sex with her, or
Speaker 1: she can give you tips, or maybe she can just
Speaker 1: be in the room or be nearby and if she's busy,
Speaker 1: you know any of the other girls I think are around. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: that would be most teens. Most teens have Zindaia's number. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would say eighty five percent of teens have Zidaia's number.
Speaker 1: And that's that's that's statistics. They did a poll. They
Speaker 1: did a national poll with CNN. That's amazing. I didn't
Speaker 1: know that. Um, that's cool. All I know about Zindia's
Speaker 1: that she's married to Spider Man's AKA. I'm just rereading
Speaker 1: this question. Now, cancel each Beyon or East pam this question. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know this question is not anomalous. It's from my
Speaker 1: daughter Aaron, who thinks she's grown. Cassie, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for being on the podcast. But I gotta let
Speaker 1: you go. I gotta call my daughter. Oh, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for having me. I truly feel like I
Speaker 1: learned so much. I'll be going to get my next
Speaker 1: dildo at the hospital. Yeah, well, you got to bring
Speaker 1: your parents with you because you are under eighteen. But um,
Speaker 1: I just want to say that I'm so proud of you,
Speaker 1: and I wish as you were my daughter. Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I'm wishing you were my mom. Know you down. I'm
Speaker 1: never around. I'm always at the hospital, and I fart
Speaker 1: and I fart. All right, jeez, Louisa, right, let me
Speaker 1: get Aaron on the fan O Lawn Air. What did
Speaker 1: you ask an anomalous question on my podcast? Again? No?
Speaker 1: What what question? Even is it you're talking about? Oh?
Speaker 1: My parents forgot to cancel their subscription PHBO after Maravistown.
Speaker 1: I want my sex life exactly like euphoria. I've seen
Speaker 1: the way you've been doing your eye makeup, and I
Speaker 1: know everyone's makeup that you don't even need to watch
Speaker 1: it for you to know that's what's that style. All
Speaker 1: you need to do is like fucking go on like
Speaker 1: literally anywhere online and see Sydney Sweeney and understand that
Speaker 1: that's what I didn't do that, mom, Stop stop Air.
Speaker 1: I know that you love that show. I know you
Speaker 1: watch that show because all of your T shirts have
Speaker 1: little triangle cutouts right under the breast. Okay, and your
Speaker 1: show in hip and your show inside and look, I
Speaker 1: know we're Catholic. I know we don't believe in it,
Speaker 1: and I know that they don't practice it. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: you're not Catholic, Honey, You've been baptized. So that does
Speaker 1: not mean anything. Just because confirmed does not mean anything
Speaker 1: cultural anyway, whatever. I didn't ask that question. I watched
Speaker 1: the show. Fine, Fine, I watched the show, but I
Speaker 1: also didn't ask that question because first of all, I
Speaker 1: learned my lesson last time, and I know how to
Speaker 1: engage with you about this. And actually I've made really
Speaker 1: adult decisions on my own. So okay, Aaron, because if
Speaker 1: for our listeners, just to catch these guys up. Last
Speaker 1: time that Yaron was on the show, she and I
Speaker 1: and a very heartfelt mother daughter talk. She told me
Speaker 1: that she has been having sex with her now good
Speaker 1: boyfriend Trevor. No one can do anything good enough for you,
Speaker 1: no one, no one. It's so sick. You're really sick. Woman. Well, Aaron,
Speaker 1: let's talk about some of the positive changes you've made
Speaker 1: since I found out that you and Trevor had unprotected sex.
Speaker 1: Have you done anything that we have been talking about?
Speaker 1: You want to know if I'm using a condom with Trevor. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I do, tell me and tell everybody the listens to
Speaker 1: the podcast. Not only have we used a condom, we've
Speaker 1: used two condoms. Air, What oh god? Air? Okay. First
Speaker 1: of all, I just want to say I love us
Speaker 1: and I'm proud of use. Okay, using two condoms kind
Speaker 1: of defeats the purpose of the condom because the single condom,
Speaker 1: if it fits properly, it'll work. But if you double
Speaker 1: it up, you know there's no talent. What'll slip and slide? Well?
Speaker 1: I know that because whatever? Because what? Air? Because what?
Speaker 1: It's whatever? Mom, No, it's not whatever. If you're trying
Speaker 1: to have euphoria style sex, I need to make sure
Speaker 1: that that sex is at least protected. At least I've
Speaker 1: already accepted that my baby is no longer pure. At
Speaker 1: least give me this. It slipped and slided right off, Okay,
Speaker 1: and it actually got trapped inside of the caverns that
Speaker 1: is me. Air. Okay, First of all, that actually will
Speaker 1: happen to the best of us. And I know I
Speaker 1: shouldn't be saying this as a medical doctor, but if
Speaker 1: he give it to you right, medically speaking, it will
Speaker 1: get shoved up there real bad? Is that what happened?
Speaker 1: If he's kind of incredible, I mean, sometimes it just
Speaker 1: feels like the whole world slips away and it's just
Speaker 1: Trevor and I sort of floating in space. Don't tell
Speaker 1: me that stuff, Okay, you don't have to. I already knew.
Speaker 1: But the first time he came over to dinner and
Speaker 1: the first time he looked me in the eyes when
Speaker 1: he ate those stuff shells, I knew that boy, Kulai Pipe,
Speaker 1: I knew it, okay, because there's an energy about him,
Speaker 1: and that's what I don't trust, sort of like a
Speaker 1: surfer like music producer, potentially energy like you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, the dreams of a delusional, you know, underage child. Here.
Speaker 1: She thinks that he's going to be a music producer
Speaker 1: just because he had what was that called like a
Speaker 1: sound thunder, sound sound rat SoundCloud account. He has a
Speaker 1: SoundCloud account, Okay, yeah, well I looked it up in
Speaker 1: his sound just like beeps and bops to me, beeps
Speaker 1: and bops is huge. Right now you've heard a diplo. No,
Speaker 1: I haven't. He's beeping and bopping all the way to Coachella, Mom.
Speaker 1: And guess what, I'm gonna go to Coachella next year
Speaker 1: or two after I graduate and moved to Los Angeles, California,
Speaker 1: because Coachella is one town away. I saw Alexia Demi
Speaker 1: from Euphoria post about it. Okay, I gotta met you
Speaker 1: something are the reason why You're that night? Did not
Speaker 1: so the subscription after Mayor of Easttown perfect show documentary
Speaker 1: to me, so good, so good, so accurate. It was
Speaker 1: so good I felt like really like good writing too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I kind of didn't really see all the twists
Speaker 1: and turns coming. There was a lot of turns. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And also when I closed my eyes, I kind of
Speaker 1: felt like I was at my high school reunion. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I liked that one girl. And then who is the
Speaker 1: one girl who like the Yeah, that one girl. I
Speaker 1: loved that one girl who's the star of it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I loved her. Yeah, the one girl with the pennytail.
Speaker 1: I loved her. She had cut the cop who was
Speaker 1: just like the like the cops. She was like the
Speaker 1: star of it. She was like the one that was
Speaker 1: like always like saying like get over here. Yeah she
Speaker 1: was playing many Yeah, okay, yeah she was good. That
Speaker 1: girl's a really good. She should be in more things
Speaker 1: that girls. I don't she's obvious should be a mother,
Speaker 1: she should be on Euphoria. She could play like one
Speaker 1: of the moms. Hey for sure. Well anyway people make
Speaker 1: up on her high shadow and stuff and like I
Speaker 1: don't know even like I don't know, like just like
Speaker 1: a lipwiner. She could be a mom on Euphoria for sure. Yeah,
Speaker 1: paint her like a whore or any woman can be
Speaker 1: on Euphoria as long as you put kind of sparkles
Speaker 1: on your eyes and kind of whispered to the camera
Speaker 1: under beeps and bops music. Yeah, I've watched the show. Hmm,
Speaker 1: that's why you kept a subscription. Yeah, it is because
Speaker 1: I need to know what kind of influences you have
Speaker 1: in your life. And yeah, um, I'm very interested in
Speaker 1: the dynamic between Sydney Sweeney and Alexi Damis characters. H
Speaker 1: It's I'm engaged. Okay, all right, well fine, I do
Speaker 1: watch the show, and yeah, I guess I can invent
Speaker 1: my influences are exclusively that what what now? Hm? I
Speaker 1: tried my best with the condoms. I thought two was
Speaker 1: better than one. So did you get no because you
Speaker 1: thought you forgot You forgot to untape the pregnancy tests
Speaker 1: from the toilet bowl. So I look down there and
Speaker 1: low him behold negative. Yeah. I've been taping pregnancy tests
Speaker 1: to the inside of Air's toiletble basically ever since she
Speaker 1: started dating Trevor. Um and um, you know, I've been
Speaker 1: working long hours at the hospital, and so I have
Speaker 1: been getting your dad to do it. Mom. What, Well,
Speaker 1: he's just as concerned about you as I. Yeah, he's not.
Speaker 1: He's concerned about one thing, his air fryer exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean we had air fried spaghetti yesterday. I was like, Patrick,
Speaker 1: just order a hogie for God's sake, Like, look at
Speaker 1: the kids, they're crying. I was really crying that day. Okay,
Speaker 1: So clearly condoms are not working for you, and Trevor
Speaker 1: I AM says to wear them. Yeah. Well, guess what.
Speaker 1: I don't like my entire life doesn't mean that I
Speaker 1: just don't do it. Mom, that was really fucked up.
Speaker 1: I don't mean it. You and your brother and your
Speaker 1: dad are the best thing that ever happened to me.
Speaker 1: I thought you said that your private practice was the
Speaker 1: best thing there happened to you. Oh yeah, that's true. Well, um, okay,
Speaker 1: so there's always don't speak to me that way. You
Speaker 1: just told me that you fucking hate me basically, though, No,
Speaker 1: I love you, so you're a pain in my ass. Okay.
Speaker 1: The fact that I don't you know up? And what
Speaker 1: was that movie that we watched the other day, Lost Daughter,
Speaker 1: The fact that I know it was so good. That
Speaker 1: was so good, the girl and that was so good.
Speaker 1: I thought, the girl and that was really good. And
Speaker 1: the other girl too, and that were really good. Kind
Speaker 1: of like the writing was really good too. The twist
Speaker 1: and turns were so funny. Oh my god, so many
Speaker 1: twists and turns, Like I thought that was so funny.
Speaker 1: Like she stabbed right then. I was like, oh my god. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't see that coming. And I thought that the
Speaker 1: girl who did like that main girl, like she was
Speaker 1: so good. The main girl was so good and she
Speaker 1: got to Oscar nomination. What else? I don't think she's
Speaker 1: been in anything else. I will watch it. She needs
Speaker 1: to be in more things. Yeah, I agree. She's British though,
Speaker 1: so that might be hard to be on mykephoria. Oh
Speaker 1: yeah for sure. Um well, okay, so remember when you
Speaker 1: said paint in my ass? Yeah, well guess what, Lord,
Speaker 1: I had kind of a paint in my ass too
Speaker 1: the other day, Lord Jesus and I talked to everyone
Speaker 1: else about this already, um Carol Trina the ants um.
Speaker 1: But Trevor says that if you don't want to get pregnant,
Speaker 1: it's obviously only natural and apparently the homosexuals are doing
Speaker 1: us all the time. It's just, you know, have anal
Speaker 1: sex er. I swear to God, you're going to send
Speaker 1: me in you're an early grave. First of all, did
Speaker 1: you use the luber Kin? Because you know I have
Speaker 1: a lot in the garage from the hospital. I have
Speaker 1: my you know, you know I'm you know, I'm brand strong,
Speaker 1: gun will Okay, But I'm just saying that if you
Speaker 1: ever need the industrial stuff, I don't want to use
Speaker 1: your lube in the weird big plastic tins. No, they're
Speaker 1: in the garage if you need him, and just telling
Speaker 1: your friends, that's all I'm saying. Okay, whatever is well,
Speaker 1: as you know, he's only seventeen like me, but they
Speaker 1: let him serve at the restaurant. So he's starting to
Speaker 1: make more money now because he has a very vibrant personality,
Speaker 1: as you know, so he has started to make you know,
Speaker 1: instead of eighty dollars an hour of busting, he now
Speaker 1: makes upwards of one hundred and eighty five dollars. I'm
Speaker 1: a good Friday and right so a good loube of
Speaker 1: our own and this means that we don't need to
Speaker 1: be going into the garage and getting your weird loube
Speaker 1: in those tubs, so we can do our own lube
Speaker 1: when I have anal sex with him to protect myself
Speaker 1: from an early childhood pregnancy. And lots of gay men
Speaker 1: do it too all the time. And I've really come
Speaker 1: around on gay men. What do you mean come around?
Speaker 1: We've always raised us to respect everybody's things, and you
Speaker 1: know what they do. And uh, you know, we had
Speaker 1: that gay couple that had the surgate that I told
Speaker 1: you about, and I was obsessed with them. I mean,
Speaker 1: they were funny, they were they were singing the whole time,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, shut up, like that's my
Speaker 1: thing is gigas are annoying, Like whatever you want to
Speaker 1: do is fine. I don't know. This is kind of
Speaker 1: weird for me to be the less progressive one, but
Speaker 1: that's kind of the way where it falls. You're a
Speaker 1: regressive Aaron, and I think you're listening too many episodes.
Speaker 1: He's actually hot. I'm a Bernie supporter who hates Gaze
Speaker 1: because they're annoying. They're so annoying. Sometimes you talk an
Speaker 1: item like is this my daughter or is this some
Speaker 1: crazy Reddit slut? Crazy fuck you mom. Don't speak to
Speaker 1: me that way. First of all, don't use Reddit as
Speaker 1: a pejorative. A lot of really good conversations happen on there,
Speaker 1: like for crypto. I don't even know what these sexual
Speaker 1: words are any words an ft Is that like an
Speaker 1: insult to me that some sort of like you call
Speaker 1: me a bit or something? No fucking truth. Well, you
Speaker 1: and Trevor have been having anal sex and medically speaking,
Speaker 1: you cannot get pregnant that way. But I would like
Speaker 1: to warn the listeners, Um, you've heard of trickle down economics.
Speaker 1: M Oh my god, I literally know, I literally know this,
Speaker 1: and it's humiliated trickled down effect, and so I just
Speaker 1: need to make sure I'm just saying, like, you know,
Speaker 1: you gotta be a word the stuff. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: have a fucking butt baby. I I I've had a
Speaker 1: couple of butt babies. What are you talk to me about?
Speaker 1: Not me? There is such thing as a bot baby,
Speaker 1: because you know I pour with your brother. You know
Speaker 1: that I tour with your brother and shaw him off
Speaker 1: because he was a butt baby. He took it in
Speaker 1: the butt from dad's alcoholic gas. I'm not talking about
Speaker 1: taking it, okay. Medically speaking, a butt baby is when
Speaker 1: there is vaginal tearing. Technically the baby expels from the
Speaker 1: butt from the asshole because it's actually all one hole.
Speaker 1: And I have, you know, really seeing a lot of
Speaker 1: butt babies grow up to be doctors, grew up to
Speaker 1: be engineers, grew up to be teachers. You know, being
Speaker 1: a butt baby is not a bad goal. Again, like basically,
Speaker 1: even butt babies would make you more proud than me
Speaker 1: as long as they went to college like ud and
Speaker 1: went on to become like a teacher. You can't stand
Speaker 1: it that I'm a regular vaginal baby who wants to
Speaker 1: be a dancer. In the background, you can study dancing
Speaker 1: university at the Delaware I've told you this one hundred dollars,
Speaker 1: No you can't. It's not a good program. And also
Speaker 1: college is a waste of time. While I'm young and
Speaker 1: have these titties, I want to get to La. Yeah.
Speaker 1: For those just listening on the podcast, my daughter Aaron
Speaker 1: is stacked to hell. It's her tits are absolutely in
Speaker 1: her collar phone. And yeah she gets that from her mother.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, Air, you want to keep those
Speaker 1: babies up there, don't breastfeed all right, I'm not planning
Speaker 1: on it because I'm not having a child. That's right.
Speaker 1: Because you're having anal sex. I'm using two condoms during
Speaker 1: anal sex, so I'm protected. I think that we just
Speaker 1: got to get you an IUD and have him pull out.
Speaker 1: I mean, at this point, that's the only thing that
Speaker 1: is gonna because I can't trust your dad. While I'm
Speaker 1: working these long hours to tape the pregnancy test of
Speaker 1: the toilet bowl, I can't trust him to crush up
Speaker 1: your birth control and put it inside your brisk iced tea.
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't trust them to do all that.
Speaker 1: Lucky turn over to Arizona Green. Thank god, you have
Speaker 1: to tell me stuff like that because I know I don't,
Speaker 1: because I know that you have your hands in my
Speaker 1: entire life. And now I know that you've got dad
Speaker 1: doing it too. Okay, from now on, every single dinner
Speaker 1: we eat as a family, there's going to be crushed
Speaker 1: up birth control pills inside of the dinner. And I'm
Speaker 1: not telling people what. You just gotta finish your plate. Well,
Speaker 1: I'd rather have that than the stuff shells you made
Speaker 1: last week. You love stuff shells. Don't tell me you're
Speaker 1: going vegan. No, I don't anymore. When can I get
Speaker 1: my iod? I come? I will come over tomorrow after
Speaker 1: after you're gonna do it? Yeah, who else is gonna
Speaker 1: do it? This is like having an accountant in the family.
Speaker 1: Like I, I gotta I gotta do everybody's books. I
Speaker 1: gotta put in everybody's io d. I just did it
Speaker 1: for your cousin Kelly the other day. She has a
Speaker 1: piercing that I don't think your aunt Pat knows about.
Speaker 1: She doesn't know about it. They have a really close relationship,
Speaker 1: but they tell each other everything. Well, I hope when
Speaker 1: I go down there, I don't see any jewelry that
Speaker 1: I didn't buy. If you know what I mean, don't
Speaker 1: worry about it. I'll come over after practice at five.
Speaker 1: Come over after practice and then maybe, you know, we
Speaker 1: can go to the Orange Julius after because I know
Speaker 1: a real nice girl who works there. Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: well tell you that I'll be home in a couple hours.
Speaker 1: What do you want for dinner to night? Chicken call it? Okay,
Speaker 1: we'll do chicken cott two hours, she said, two hours. Okay, bye,
Speaker 1: love you buy drunk. Bye love you. Well, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for listening to Parts Talk. Thank you to
Speaker 1: my guest teen sexpert and teach your doctor, Cassie. And
Speaker 1: uh yeah, I guess. Thank you to my daughter Erin.
Speaker 1: You know, we have a contentious relationship, but I also
Speaker 1: feel through communication band closer. This has been Parts Talk.