WEBVTT - Should I Let Go Of Love?

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio

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<v Speaker 1>and the Black Effects. And just like that, we're back

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<v Speaker 1>with yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your Girl just hilarious.

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<v Speaker 1>Another jets Fixed My Mess. You already know how I do.

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<v Speaker 1>This week, we got a guy. Listen. I want more

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<v Speaker 1>of my guys to submit, okay, because you'll remember, ways

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<v Speaker 1>back before I started to jett Fix my Mess segments,

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<v Speaker 1>I used to always talk about, you know, broad topics

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<v Speaker 1>that people were scared to talk about. And one of

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<v Speaker 1>the topics where black men and how are men predominantly black?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, do not open up about things because men

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<v Speaker 1>just don't feel like they can open up. They don't

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<v Speaker 1>like to let their guards down. They don't like to

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<v Speaker 1>be vulnerable, you know, like women do, or like women

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<v Speaker 1>just naturally are more so than men. So I'm actually

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<v Speaker 1>very very happy that I do have a guy who

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<v Speaker 1>submitted voice notes, guys, and he sounds sexy. Y'all tune in, Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>just I am going to try to make this as

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<v Speaker 1>short and detail as possible. So some keypactors. I am

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<v Speaker 1>a transgender female to male transpant. My girlfriend, she's a

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<v Speaker 1>full blown natural woman. God has loved her death. We've

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<v Speaker 1>been together for about saying about nine months. I've known

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<v Speaker 1>of her for like five six years. I chased her

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<v Speaker 1>and she wouldn't give me time to day. She was

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<v Speaker 1>in la ship. But I finally got a chance to

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<v Speaker 1>when she found out my job was later like down

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<v Speaker 1>the street for her, so we started kicking it. In

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<v Speaker 1>the beginning, everything was cool. She was this very ambitious person,

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<v Speaker 1>like she was doing ship for her, laying gold things

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<v Speaker 1>that don't serve her, trying to get her mental together,

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<v Speaker 1>start a new job. And of course we knew each

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<v Speaker 1>other's past like she was him about how her past relationships.

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<v Speaker 1>She was the one taking a lead on everything. She

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<v Speaker 1>was the one getting their credits together, thinking look for

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<v Speaker 1>houses or start buying it together. Ship like that, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>boss bit ship. So those are things I fell in

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<v Speaker 1>love with her about. But I also fell in love

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<v Speaker 1>with her because she provides a space for me to

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<v Speaker 1>be me, for me to be vulnerable, and I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like I got to fight with the world on why

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<v Speaker 1>does ever to be here? So that was cool. We

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<v Speaker 1>got together, made an official It's like all of a sudden,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, things in her life just started going downhill.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I don't mind she going out here because

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<v Speaker 1>she happens in life. I'm a very spiritual person. I

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<v Speaker 1>believe she is gonna happen. But as long as you

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<v Speaker 1>believe in yourself, trusting God, trusting to God, and you

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<v Speaker 1>you know, you can get through it. I support her

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<v Speaker 1>through it. A lot of times she got scared because

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<v Speaker 1>she wasn't just used to it, and she would mention

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of times like I'm the first person male

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<v Speaker 1>or female that she's ever been with where she could

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<v Speaker 1>really let her feminists side out and trust to take them.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I'm a country boy. I was raised how

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<v Speaker 1>to treat a woman, so I just thought it was

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<v Speaker 1>doing what I was supposed to do. She don't losing

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<v Speaker 1>her job. She got very ill and had to get

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<v Speaker 1>a surgery done, as well as some other illnesses going

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<v Speaker 1>on to nothing like life brand name, detrimental ship like that.

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<v Speaker 1>Before a very good few months, she was down bad.

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<v Speaker 1>And then it got to a point where she was

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<v Speaker 1>about to be homeless because the time she was living

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<v Speaker 1>with her family was very toxic. So fast ward as

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<v Speaker 1>a guy close to town her about to be homeless

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<v Speaker 1>and trying to find a job. Me, I'm just a

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<v Speaker 1>naturally good hearted person. I'll even I'll give a homeless

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<v Speaker 1>person the last thal. I got a little trying to

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<v Speaker 1>help people. So I went and got an apartment for

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<v Speaker 1>in my name because she couldn't because the ship with

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<v Speaker 1>her eggs how that ship was not the fun her

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<v Speaker 1>whole life up. But I got her apartment my name,

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<v Speaker 1>even furnished that bitch myself, furnished bedroom, living room, kitching appliances,

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<v Speaker 1>all that. I went that guy there for so she

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<v Speaker 1>can get a first start in her own place again,

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<v Speaker 1>so she can get back to finding herself, becoming independent again.

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<v Speaker 1>She pays the bills in apartment was wearing, got it

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<v Speaker 1>for I don't live there. I'm a truck driver, so

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<v Speaker 1>I'll be going all the time. I wanted her. We

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<v Speaker 1>talked about living together. She wanted me to, but I

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<v Speaker 1>like to follow my ancestors, my spiritual guys, and they

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<v Speaker 1>told me now it was not the time to do it,

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<v Speaker 1>because I'm also on a journey of self discipline and

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<v Speaker 1>financial discipline, and I'm really just trying to stay on

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<v Speaker 1>the road trucking as much as possible. Right now. Stap

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<v Speaker 1>my bread up because it's when twenty four, I'm trying

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<v Speaker 1>to buy property. I'm trying to get my business ventures

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<v Speaker 1>off the ground. So cool, but her being on home space,

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<v Speaker 1>Like I know she's appreciative for her she says it

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<v Speaker 1>all the time. And even with her new job, it's

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<v Speaker 1>like things are getting worse for her still, like she's

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<v Speaker 1>been this very depressive state. She doesn't know who she

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<v Speaker 1>is anymore. I mean, I don't have a problem with

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<v Speaker 1>her getting away because she keeps mentioning it, and she's

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<v Speaker 1>getting weight, she's exhausted all the time, She's been calling

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<v Speaker 1>off for work a lot, being transieden to understand depression

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<v Speaker 1>and anxiety a lot. I understand what any transitional period

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<v Speaker 1>in your life can be. Cat way of told you,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm very patient with that. But you know, we

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<v Speaker 1>talked about it's like you should really get therapy because

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<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of ship from her past, even from

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<v Speaker 1>growing up, that she hasn't healed from. And she agrees

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<v Speaker 1>she needs therapy, and I told her it's it's actually

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<v Speaker 1>kind of requirement for me because I will listen to her.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't mind being to supporting her, but I don't

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<v Speaker 1>have all the answers to save her. And that's when

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<v Speaker 1>therapy has to come in because that ship can get

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<v Speaker 1>draining for anybody, and I just want her to grow

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<v Speaker 1>and she said she understood that. And ever since, like November,

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<v Speaker 1>she kept saying she's going to get therapy. Then if

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<v Speaker 1>it came, well, when Jay Ray comes in, that's when

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<v Speaker 1>she'll have insurance from her job. I was like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>I can't pay for you to get there. She's like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>she don't want to do that. I was like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>there's free programs. She don't want to do that either.

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<v Speaker 1>There was some specific one she wanted to go to

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<v Speaker 1>and she just wanted to wait until she had some

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<v Speaker 1>money first. Cool, so fast forward wearing Jane were now

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<v Speaker 1>she had some extra money, but instead she buys concert

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<v Speaker 1>tikis where she planning to take a trip somewhere for

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<v Speaker 1>some festival. And then you know, I mentioned it. Girls

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<v Speaker 1>like so have you looked to a morning therapy and

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<v Speaker 1>she was like yeah, but I'm just scared right now

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<v Speaker 1>because I'm going to open up stuff. I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>if I'm ready for that. They open you up, they

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<v Speaker 1>take it out, and it's going to hurt for a minute,

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<v Speaker 1>but you help. That's the whole point of this journey

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<v Speaker 1>is to help, and she's like, I hear you. I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, you know, if it's a financial thing, I

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<v Speaker 1>can help you with that, but she's like, no, she

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't want me to do that. And plus, if her

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<v Speaker 1>heart isn't in it, it's not gonna make a difference

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<v Speaker 1>whether I pay for it or not. I just don't

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<v Speaker 1>know what to do, just because now outside of the

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<v Speaker 1>depression ship depression side issue, I can stick by her

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<v Speaker 1>through that. But it's like even for future wise, with

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<v Speaker 1>marriage and ship, our vision on marriage is kind of different.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not far off. I feel like with work it

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<v Speaker 1>can get there to where we're on the same page,

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<v Speaker 1>as well as certain ship like holiday celebrations. With work,

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<v Speaker 1>we can be on the same page. But I'm starting

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<v Speaker 1>to realize, um, outside of that, like it's hard for

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<v Speaker 1>somebody who doesn't know who they are anymore to be

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<v Speaker 1>in a relationship. And I've expressed that to her, have

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<v Speaker 1>also expressed with our differences and maybe it's not the

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<v Speaker 1>best time to focus on the relationship. Why are you

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<v Speaker 1>going through this and not saying we need to break up?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I'm gonna truck driver anyway, I'm never there.

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<v Speaker 1>So I told her, like I even admit her, I

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<v Speaker 1>am not in a place right now to put our

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<v Speaker 1>relationship as a priorithy my side priority right now. It's

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<v Speaker 1>stacking my bread because I want better for both of

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<v Speaker 1>us financially. And she understood them. Like I said, from experience,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think she need to be in a relationship

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<v Speaker 1>right now, but I don't I think she's gonna take

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<v Speaker 1>that well on top of what she's going through mentally,

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<v Speaker 1>because she has had a history of people leaving her

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<v Speaker 1>in the midst of certain ship happening in her life,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's caused her to have some abandonment issues. And

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want her to feel like I mean, I've

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<v Speaker 1>expressed I'm not going to go anywhere, but I need

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<v Speaker 1>her to folks on her like date herself to things

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<v Speaker 1>for herself. And when she says she does these things,

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<v Speaker 1>she just it doesn't help. And I don't know. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know what to do. Hold up, Hold up, I

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<v Speaker 1>know the ship getting good, But listen to just a

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<v Speaker 1>couple of seconds of a commercial with you Love Me.

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<v Speaker 1>You'll listen. I know I'm all over the place, but

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<v Speaker 1>when I visioned my future with the person I want

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<v Speaker 1>to call my wife, I visit somebody I can trust

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<v Speaker 1>to hold me down when I'm not on my a

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<v Speaker 1>game at the some moments. Because I'm very traditional. Where

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<v Speaker 1>as far as I'm provide, I'm gonna protect you, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>leading my I'm trying to build an impart for whatever reason.

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<v Speaker 1>If I fall off, I don't think I could trust her.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I'm saying that right, but like

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like, if you're gonna be somebody, you trust

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<v Speaker 1>them with your finances, your health and all that. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't think she would do anything bad to me, but

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I don't think she would know how

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<v Speaker 1>to handle it either, if that makes sense. But I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. Just as I've dealt with depression personal before,

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<v Speaker 1>so I understand that I'm never gonna leave somebody because

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<v Speaker 1>they're not okay. I just need to know how I

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<v Speaker 1>should approach this, if that makes sense. Appreciate you just

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<v Speaker 1>thanks in advance, love you, Hope you have a great day.

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<v Speaker 1>I love you too. First of all, I want to

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<v Speaker 1>say I appreciate you for being brave enough to expose yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>give that type of awareness on such a broad platform

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<v Speaker 1>such as Carefully Reckless, and you could help other transgendered

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<v Speaker 1>people come forward and tell their stories to me. See,

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<v Speaker 1>thank you very much. All right, now let's get down

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<v Speaker 1>to this girl. Man. Okay, so I understand and how

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<v Speaker 1>it could be very draining. Understand you you have a

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<v Speaker 1>great deal of patience. I can just tell in your

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<v Speaker 1>tone how you talk and internalize certain things. You really

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<v Speaker 1>process ship before you make moves and before you know

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<v Speaker 1>what I'm saying. All right now, with her, she was

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<v Speaker 1>on an a game. Everything was happening, everything, all the

0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:24.360
<v Speaker 1>good ship, and then she got sick, had to have

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<v Speaker 1>a couple of surgeries, her health diminished, her spirit diminished,

0:11:31.800 --> 0:11:37.040
<v Speaker 1>her joy was wiped away, her confidence gone. Listen, that's

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<v Speaker 1>a lot on a woman. I know that you're not

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<v Speaker 1>undermining her pain or you're not disregarding how she feels.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'm just telling you for confirmation as a person

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<v Speaker 1>who had it all, who can go from that to

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<v Speaker 1>having nothing, which is how she feels. I'm not saying

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<v Speaker 1>that she does not. She's nowhere near where she was.

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<v Speaker 1>That's recipe for disastrous depression. Seriously, for a long time,

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<v Speaker 1>what could almost seem permanent. If you understand what I'm saying,

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<v Speaker 1>and I know you have to understand because you're with

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<v Speaker 1>her and you see she hasn't been happy in a

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<v Speaker 1>long time. So maybe that's where those concert tickets came from.

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<v Speaker 1>You know that trip. It's not in her heart to

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<v Speaker 1>do therapy yet. That's not to say that it will

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<v Speaker 1>never be, but it's not in her to get therapy.

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<v Speaker 1>She is scared of those can of worms that will

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<v Speaker 1>open up if she sits down on the therapist couch

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<v Speaker 1>and have to unleash everything that she's probably purposely buried

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<v Speaker 1>so deeply because she's not ready to face that yet.

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<v Speaker 1>You can't make her ready, like you said, you don't

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<v Speaker 1>have all the answers. You want her to get professional help,

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<v Speaker 1>and until she's ready, she'll just be depressed. She'll be

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<v Speaker 1>in this depressive state. So believe me, she's gonna try

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<v Speaker 1>to do whatever that she can do within her right,

0:12:52.800 --> 0:12:56.160
<v Speaker 1>within her wants to try to be happy. Maybe that

0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:59.280
<v Speaker 1>concert would be a breath of fresh air to her baby.

0:12:59.360 --> 0:13:02.600
<v Speaker 1>Maybe that travel would be a breath of fresh air.

0:13:02.880 --> 0:13:04.600
<v Speaker 1>Some people feel like they don't have it in them

0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:07.920
<v Speaker 1>to do therapy. She may get it later, but that's

0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:10.679
<v Speaker 1>not what she wants right now. She's not ready, and

0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:13.839
<v Speaker 1>that's okay. And then with all that, going on a

0:13:13.960 --> 0:13:19.960
<v Speaker 1>relationship with a man who's never home. That doesn't help either. Now,

0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:22.560
<v Speaker 1>while you can't help that, because listen, this is your

0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:25.000
<v Speaker 1>bread and butter, this is your job. You have plans,

0:13:25.080 --> 0:13:29.240
<v Speaker 1>you have places to go, and I mean that career wise,

0:13:29.920 --> 0:13:33.160
<v Speaker 1>you have a plan. You plan to be a CEO

0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:37.199
<v Speaker 1>of your own company. That's a fucking plan. Not a

0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:39.600
<v Speaker 1>lot of people have those. I don't know what her

0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:41.800
<v Speaker 1>plan is, or even if she has one, but you

0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:44.240
<v Speaker 1>can't make one for her. She has to come up

0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:48.400
<v Speaker 1>out of that on her own. That literally really has

0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:52.080
<v Speaker 1>nothing to do with you. Her depression of where she

0:13:52.440 --> 0:13:56.400
<v Speaker 1>is health wise and her confidence, it has nothing to

0:13:56.440 --> 0:13:59.280
<v Speaker 1>do with you. It has nothing to do with her relationship.

0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:03.720
<v Speaker 1>You feel like she's lost everything, and she could kind

0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:05.640
<v Speaker 1>of make you feel like you're all that she has

0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:10.480
<v Speaker 1>because she's so used to losing people in times of

0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:14.520
<v Speaker 1>triumph and an obstacle and all of that. I understand

0:14:14.520 --> 0:14:17.920
<v Speaker 1>that as well, but that's still not your fault. So

0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:21.080
<v Speaker 1>I understand both of you. However, you can't dim your

0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:25.800
<v Speaker 1>light trying to help somebody else shine. You understand if

0:14:25.840 --> 0:14:31.000
<v Speaker 1>it's going to in some type of way affect your happiness.

0:14:32.560 --> 0:14:35.960
<v Speaker 1>You can let her go without being selfish. You understand

0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:38.400
<v Speaker 1>what I'm saying. Like I said, her issues are not

0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:43.520
<v Speaker 1>solely with you and the relationship. It's with where she

0:14:43.640 --> 0:14:47.240
<v Speaker 1>is in her life. At this point, you could still

0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:50.040
<v Speaker 1>break up with her, leave the relationship, and still be

0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:52.560
<v Speaker 1>a friend. Now I know she ain't using you. She

0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:54.600
<v Speaker 1>only want you to pay for therapy. You know what

0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:56.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm saying, Like we know that's not the thing. But

0:14:57.360 --> 0:15:00.000
<v Speaker 1>she doesn't need a friend. She also needs a therapist,

0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:03.720
<v Speaker 1>She needs counseling, and she needs self love as well.

0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:05.960
<v Speaker 1>She has to love herself enough to know that she

0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:09.280
<v Speaker 1>can pull herself about it and ship, especially since you've

0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:13.360
<v Speaker 1>confirmed to me that her health issues are not life threatening.

0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:16.160
<v Speaker 1>If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and

0:15:16.160 --> 0:15:20.240
<v Speaker 1>then we'll be right back. Okay, So now what can

0:15:20.280 --> 0:15:23.040
<v Speaker 1>I do to pull myself about as fucking mud? Because

0:15:23.040 --> 0:15:26.040
<v Speaker 1>I haven't been here all my life. I slipped into

0:15:26.080 --> 0:15:28.280
<v Speaker 1>this ship. Now I can pull myself out of this

0:15:28.840 --> 0:15:30.880
<v Speaker 1>with the help of friends and therapy and all that

0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:32.880
<v Speaker 1>type of ship. But she has to want to do

0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:35.680
<v Speaker 1>it first. She can't sit around open and being miserable.

0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:38.680
<v Speaker 1>Those type of people love attention. They love to stay

0:15:38.720 --> 0:15:42.440
<v Speaker 1>there because that's the only way that they feel good

0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:46.360
<v Speaker 1>about themselves is when other people feel sorry for them.

0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:50.240
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes that's not all people, that's not all cases, but sometime,

0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:52.560
<v Speaker 1>and that's what it seems like you're describing to me.

0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:54.400
<v Speaker 1>I think the best thing for you to do is

0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:55.880
<v Speaker 1>to move on. I think you need to let it go.

0:15:55.920 --> 0:15:58.800
<v Speaker 1>You ain't there anyway, the Nigga ship, your aunts ain't

0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:00.960
<v Speaker 1>never you're my fucking trap, Robby. You ain't never there.

0:16:01.560 --> 0:16:04.520
<v Speaker 1>She needs somebody who's gonna be there. I'm not trying

0:16:04.520 --> 0:16:06.040
<v Speaker 1>to make you feel bad. I'm just letting you know

0:16:06.080 --> 0:16:08.080
<v Speaker 1>the god on the truth. You've got things to do,

0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:12.480
<v Speaker 1>and you even said it yourself. The relationship is not

0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:16.560
<v Speaker 1>your priority right now. So you still, in the hindsight,

0:16:16.760 --> 0:16:20.120
<v Speaker 1>ultimately have to do what's good for you, what's best

0:16:20.160 --> 0:16:24.800
<v Speaker 1>for you, and that's not being selfish. That's not being selfish.

0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:28.960
<v Speaker 1>You have no kids, you're not married. There's no legal obligation.

0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:31.040
<v Speaker 1>You know. I ain't like you're gonna be a dead

0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:34.840
<v Speaker 1>beat daddy or dead beat husband or whatever. No, no, no, no,

0:16:34.840 --> 0:16:37.520
<v Speaker 1>no no. You have a plan and you want to

0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:40.400
<v Speaker 1>see it through. And I believe you will. You can

0:16:40.440 --> 0:16:43.160
<v Speaker 1>help her construct a plan. You can help somebody do

0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:45.040
<v Speaker 1>something all you want. If they don't see it, they

0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:48.040
<v Speaker 1>ain't gonna get it. They ain't gonna do it until

0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:51.320
<v Speaker 1>they're ready. You know. That's saying that old saying. You

0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:52.880
<v Speaker 1>can lead a horse to the water, but you can't

0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:55.640
<v Speaker 1>make them drink it. Period. You've done all that you

0:16:55.680 --> 0:16:58.600
<v Speaker 1>could do. It drains you, but you can still have

0:16:58.680 --> 0:17:00.560
<v Speaker 1>her as a friend. I know you love her simply

0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:03.040
<v Speaker 1>how the way you talk about her, But sometimes that's

0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:06.280
<v Speaker 1>just not enough. You loving someone so much, it's not

0:17:06.400 --> 0:17:08.720
<v Speaker 1>enough to some people. That may be in my opinion,

0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:11.440
<v Speaker 1>it's not enough all the time. So I think you

0:17:11.440 --> 0:17:13.040
<v Speaker 1>should check back in with me. I think you should

0:17:13.080 --> 0:17:16.240
<v Speaker 1>sit down and have a real conversation with her. You

0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:20.240
<v Speaker 1>should let her know exactly how you feel. I think

0:17:20.280 --> 0:17:23.800
<v Speaker 1>that YouTube need to take a step back from the

0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:26.000
<v Speaker 1>relationship and you need to let her know where you

0:17:26.040 --> 0:17:29.399
<v Speaker 1>are in life where she is. Guys are not on

0:17:29.440 --> 0:17:33.360
<v Speaker 1>the same page. You have different beliefs, even different beliefs

0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:36.639
<v Speaker 1>than she has. So I would confidently say a marriage

0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:39.560
<v Speaker 1>between you two would not work since everything is kind

0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:41.760
<v Speaker 1>of a little different. I mean, I feel like the

0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:46.720
<v Speaker 1>beginning was honeymoon phase and then not because everything went downhill.

0:17:47.080 --> 0:17:50.440
<v Speaker 1>You're kind of seen red flags of things that she

0:17:50.480 --> 0:17:54.120
<v Speaker 1>wouldn't take charge of if you two were to take

0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:56.880
<v Speaker 1>your relationship to the next level. But either way, none

0:17:56.880 --> 0:18:00.000
<v Speaker 1>of that matters, babe, because you're not even ready, because

0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:04.400
<v Speaker 1>is your priority right now is your career, developing your

0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:06.400
<v Speaker 1>businesses and getting your business off the ground. You got

0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:08.960
<v Speaker 1>a whole fucking plan. Ain't nothing wrong with that. So

0:18:09.080 --> 0:18:11.760
<v Speaker 1>it looks like love can't even happen for you until

0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:17.639
<v Speaker 1>or who knows, but it ain't right now. But you

0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:20.600
<v Speaker 1>could still be her friend, and if that's what you

0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:24.159
<v Speaker 1>want to do, then do that. If not, I understand

0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:28.840
<v Speaker 1>that even but you can't be chained to her and

0:18:28.960 --> 0:18:34.919
<v Speaker 1>be guilty into staying around because she's always been left

0:18:35.000 --> 0:18:38.520
<v Speaker 1>by people. You can't do that. The question is why

0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:42.719
<v Speaker 1>has everyone left her? Why not saying it's her fault?

0:18:43.240 --> 0:18:46.080
<v Speaker 1>But if we're talking about more than one relationship and

0:18:46.119 --> 0:18:49.160
<v Speaker 1>all that type of ship, then that's that's repetitive behavior.

0:18:49.400 --> 0:18:52.320
<v Speaker 1>And then after a while, who's the common denominator? You

0:18:52.400 --> 0:18:54.479
<v Speaker 1>understand what I'm saying, So it's just a lot more

0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:56.480
<v Speaker 1>to open up your eyes too. But like I said,

0:18:56.480 --> 0:18:58.440
<v Speaker 1>you already got your mind made up going that road,

0:18:58.720 --> 0:19:02.399
<v Speaker 1>make your money, open your business, start your business, become

0:19:02.640 --> 0:19:08.880
<v Speaker 1>a beautiful, black, healthy businessman, and you know, then you'll

0:19:08.920 --> 0:19:11.120
<v Speaker 1>meet your wife. I believe it's all in the cards

0:19:11.160 --> 0:19:13.000
<v Speaker 1>for you anyway you follow your ancests, that you talk

0:19:13.080 --> 0:19:15.320
<v Speaker 1>to those guys and all of that. I believe they

0:19:15.359 --> 0:19:18.040
<v Speaker 1>know what's best for you, because you see, they told

0:19:18.040 --> 0:19:19.760
<v Speaker 1>you right now in a good time to move in

0:19:20.119 --> 0:19:22.679
<v Speaker 1>and it wasn't you've seen that that came to pass,

0:19:22.800 --> 0:19:25.280
<v Speaker 1>you know, But yeah, check back in with me. It's

0:19:25.359 --> 0:19:30.440
<v Speaker 1>all in communication, be honest with Sometimes uncomfortable conversations are

0:19:30.520 --> 0:19:33.320
<v Speaker 1>the best ones because then you leave it all there

0:19:33.320 --> 0:19:36.000
<v Speaker 1>on the table, You leave it all right there. It

0:19:36.040 --> 0:19:38.600
<v Speaker 1>ain't nothing that you held back, so somebody can't say, well,

0:19:38.640 --> 0:19:40.280
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know you felt this way, or I just

0:19:40.320 --> 0:19:44.560
<v Speaker 1>was trying to protect your feelings. No, sometimes it's okay

0:19:44.680 --> 0:19:49.800
<v Speaker 1>to have uncomfortable conversations. Everything's gonna be easy, peasy, be honest,

0:19:49.880 --> 0:19:53.160
<v Speaker 1>be open, be transparent, and then check back in with me.

0:19:53.520 --> 0:19:56.600
<v Speaker 1>And I love you too so very much, sweetheart. Listen

0:19:56.600 --> 0:19:59.000
<v Speaker 1>to these episodes. Been the ones. Okay, look, I'll be

0:19:59.000 --> 0:20:01.280
<v Speaker 1>trying to get more it and the one story with

0:20:01.359 --> 0:20:04.080
<v Speaker 1>the voice notes, and but y'all be giving me some

0:20:04.160 --> 0:20:09.600
<v Speaker 1>juicy ship. These issues are getting more tense, these stories

0:20:09.600 --> 0:20:12.480
<v Speaker 1>are getting deeper and deeper, and y'all be really happy

0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:15.360
<v Speaker 1>me on one. I'll be over here, crime and tense

0:20:15.440 --> 0:20:18.399
<v Speaker 1>and praying while you're talking and missing half to shoot

0:20:18.440 --> 0:20:20.480
<v Speaker 1>y'all be saying, because I can't get past the first

0:20:20.520 --> 0:20:23.480
<v Speaker 1>ten seconds, because I'll be just oh my lord. I

0:20:23.520 --> 0:20:25.720
<v Speaker 1>want to help all of y'all as much as I can,

0:20:25.840 --> 0:20:28.920
<v Speaker 1>you know, So keep submitting, keep submitting. I want more

0:20:29.160 --> 0:20:33.280
<v Speaker 1>more men to submit, to open up. I really enjoyed

0:20:33.320 --> 0:20:37.600
<v Speaker 1>today's episode, not enjoying his pain and not enjoying you know,

0:20:37.640 --> 0:20:40.159
<v Speaker 1>what he's going through, but just enjoying being able to

0:20:40.200 --> 0:20:43.840
<v Speaker 1>assess a man instead of a woman. Transgender or not,

0:20:43.960 --> 0:20:46.880
<v Speaker 1>it doesn't matter. I love the fact that he could

0:20:46.880 --> 0:20:50.240
<v Speaker 1>open up to me. You know. That's great. That's unlikely,

0:20:50.680 --> 0:20:54.320
<v Speaker 1>especially with our men. So definitely, definitely, definitely do more

0:20:54.359 --> 0:20:57.399
<v Speaker 1>tuneing in than you ever have before. We've come to

0:20:57.440 --> 0:21:01.040
<v Speaker 1>the end of another carefully reckless episod sol with you hilarious.

0:21:01.359 --> 0:21:04.480
<v Speaker 1>Fix my mess, Just fix your mess. I'm gonna be

0:21:04.480 --> 0:21:05.879
<v Speaker 1>fixing your mess for the rest of my life. I

0:21:05.920 --> 0:21:08.480
<v Speaker 1>feel like I don't know or until podcasts go out

0:21:08.480 --> 0:21:10.720
<v Speaker 1>of style, I'm not sure I should take this ship

0:21:10.800 --> 0:21:13.080
<v Speaker 1>on to shut I don't know, y'all let me know,

0:21:13.600 --> 0:21:17.160
<v Speaker 1>But until then, tune into co Parenting Therapy every other

0:21:17.200 --> 0:21:19.320
<v Speaker 1>week Me and Little Baby Father got a new episode

0:21:19.400 --> 0:21:22.280
<v Speaker 1>dropping this evening at seven pm. Make sure you tune

0:21:22.400 --> 0:21:25.840
<v Speaker 1>in only on YouTube. Tune into Carefully Reckless also each

0:21:25.880 --> 0:21:30.240
<v Speaker 1>and every Wednesday morning wherever you get your podcasts, and

0:21:30.280 --> 0:22:46.000
<v Speaker 1>then my deepest pandboys peach. Carefully Reckless is a production

0:22:46.040 --> 0:22:48.720
<v Speaker 1>of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more

0:22:48.800 --> 0:22:51.960
<v Speaker 1>podcasts from My Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app,

0:22:52.200 --> 0:22:55.359
<v Speaker 1>Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.