WEBVTT - Get Your Balls In Order with John Stamos 0:00:01.000 --> 0:00:04.920 Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea, Hi? What is going on? 0:00:06.280 --> 0:00:09.559 Not too much, just loving the fall weather. You've been 0:00:09.600 --> 0:00:11.520 traveling all over though. Where are you headed? 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:14.720 Well? I'm performing in Milwaukee on Friday night, and then 0:00:14.760 --> 0:00:19.079 I have two shows in Chicago Saturday, Sunday, Milwaukee Sat. 0:00:19.160 --> 0:00:23.640 And Friday night. And then where is that? What's the theater? Oh, 0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:27.120 Bradley's Symphony Center, and then the Chicago Theater Saturday and 0:00:27.160 --> 0:00:30.160 Sunday night. Oh shit, and then another show Sunday night. 0:00:30.200 --> 0:00:32.559 But that's sold out. Chicago first show is sold out. 0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:37.280 We have tickets available for Saturday night, October twenty eighth, 0:00:37.360 --> 0:00:40.920 and tickets available for Milwaukee Thursday night, October twenty six 0:00:41.760 --> 0:00:46.040 I am in New York City waiting for I just 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:47.720 had to get some more knee surgery. I had to 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:50.200 get my hat cleaned out, so I am off the pills. 0:00:50.240 --> 0:00:52.879 I had a two day party, pill party, and then 0:00:52.920 --> 0:00:54.560 I have to throw them. Well, I don't throw them 0:00:54.600 --> 0:00:57.480 away because they're gone. They're gone after two days. And 0:00:57.880 --> 0:01:01.720 that's how any excuse to be put under? Yeah, and 0:01:01.840 --> 0:01:04.160 he excuse to be put under. But my doctor said, 0:01:04.160 --> 0:01:07.000 this will allow me afford me the ability to ski 0:01:07.600 --> 0:01:10.440 without pain because my knee has really been acting since 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:12.720 my worka so I'm going to either get my leg 0:01:13.160 --> 0:01:16.319 removed and replaced. I'm waiting for them to come out 0:01:16.319 --> 0:01:19.880 with some sort of knee enhancement replacement thing where you 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:23.280 don't even have to get surgery but be put under obviously. Yeah, 0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:25.720 I just think it's a matter of months before they 0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:28.480 have some new technology or AI comes up with a 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:32.120 new knee or something. Yeah, you know. So anyway, we 0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:34.959 have one of my childhood crushes on today mine too. 0:01:35.920 --> 0:01:39.240 His name is John Stamos. I'm very excited about today. 0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:40.959 I know he has a new book out. What is 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:41.360 it called? 0:01:41.800 --> 0:01:43.840 It is called if You would Have Told Me? 0:01:44.240 --> 0:01:46.960 If you would Have Told Me? Okay, well, we're going 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:49.000 to see what he is going to tell us because 0:01:49.000 --> 0:01:51.000 there's a lot of juicy stuff in that book. So 0:01:51.040 --> 0:01:52.560 he did tell us a lot of things. A lot 0:01:52.560 --> 0:01:54.840 of celebrity books coming out lately with a lot of 0:01:54.920 --> 0:01:58.520 insight and inside scoop. He is a three time Emmy 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:03.400 Award No TV Film and Theater actor and his memoir 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:04.760 is called If You would Have Told Me, and it's 0:02:04.760 --> 0:02:08.400 out this week. Please welcome John Stamos. How are you, honey? 0:02:08.520 --> 0:02:09.000 Pretty good. 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:12.200 Yeah. John Stamos is in the house. Everybody, John my 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:14.200 childhood crush. I loved you so much when I was 0:02:14.240 --> 0:02:15.839 talking about you. I mean not to say I don't 0:02:15.840 --> 0:02:17.520 love you now, I mean you're very attractive. 0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:20.120 So I'm getting old. Well we all are I love 0:02:20.840 --> 0:02:23.560 I have a crush on you, oh, because you're smart 0:02:23.639 --> 0:02:25.720 and you're beautiful and I love Remember when I was 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:26.400 on your other show. 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:28.560 Yeah, a bit, I've interviewed you before. 0:02:28.639 --> 0:02:29.800 Are you doing good? You look great? 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:30.040 Oh? 0:02:30.120 --> 0:02:32.480 Yeah, thank you. You talk about being happy now and 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:33.480 stuff that makes me happy. 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:34.800 Oh are you happy? 0:02:34.960 --> 0:02:35.240 I am? 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:37.760 Yeah? You know what what? I was reading your book? 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:40.880 You guys, Yeah, yes, of course. The book is called 0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:42.560 if you would have told me it's out this week, 0:02:42.600 --> 0:02:44.520 it's John Stamos's it's your first. 0:02:44.320 --> 0:02:46.160 Book, yes, right, yeah, I want to talk to you 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:47.400 about the process, because. 0:02:47.440 --> 0:02:49.440 Well, what do you want to talk about? Let's get started. 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:50.120 How was it? 0:02:50.760 --> 0:02:53.200 I like, I mean, listen, it's a very different medium 0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:55.680 than everything that you're probably used to. So if this 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:57.639 is your first book, I can understand you probably feel 0:02:57.639 --> 0:02:59.000 a little bit overwhelmed, right. 0:02:59.280 --> 0:03:02.000 Yeah, I was. I feel good now that it's done. 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:03.880 But then no, no, we have to gotten. You don't 0:03:03.880 --> 0:03:05.120 have to gotten sell it. 0:03:05.440 --> 0:03:08.120 Sell it and promote it, and that is a different beast. 0:03:08.280 --> 0:03:10.000 But you know what I find that is nice and 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:12.680 refreshing about books. And maybe you can think about this 0:03:12.720 --> 0:03:14.960 while you're promoting it. It's like you're not promoting a 0:03:15.040 --> 0:03:19.600 project that you're not completely responsible for. It's your story, right, 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:21.920 so they're your truths and then you get to just 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:24.720 talk about yourself in the most kind of I feel like, 0:03:25.280 --> 0:03:28.359 most organic way, rather than promoting a show or a movie. 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:31.120 You're right, Yeah, it has been interesting that the interviews 0:03:31.120 --> 0:03:33.480 I've done so far, especially the doing this long form, 0:03:33.560 --> 0:03:35.640 because you can really get into because there's a lot 0:03:35.680 --> 0:03:38.360 of you know, intricate stuff in the book and ups 0:03:38.360 --> 0:03:40.760 and down and toffic. But to do it, you know, 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:41.880 do a quick pop on it. 0:03:41.880 --> 0:03:45.400 It's difficult, right, yes, absolutely, but you want to get 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:47.920 people interested enough to buy it. Listen, there's a lot 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:49.760 of interesting stuff in this book. 0:03:49.960 --> 0:03:52.280 And can I ask you a question, So therapies you've 0:03:52.320 --> 0:03:53.960 been that's your Do you think. 0:03:53.800 --> 0:03:54.920 You're interviewing me right now? 0:03:54.960 --> 0:03:56.640 Is that what you're not trying to I just I'm 0:03:56.640 --> 0:03:58.720 fascinated by you always, and I like to ask questions. 0:03:58.880 --> 0:04:02.000 I went to therapy for about two years, intense therapy 0:04:02.040 --> 0:04:04.720 with the sky Dan Siegel, and it changed my I 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:06.640 mean it took a while. Like if someone said, oh, 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:08.480 therapy was going to take two years and then probably 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:11.680 two years of absorbing what you learned in therapy, I 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:13.760 would have been like, that's too fucking long, like fuck it. 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:16.960 But I went in before I knew how long it 0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:19.280 was going to take, and so it was like. 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:21.120 You think it was a couple a couple of a 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:21.679 couple of seconds. 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:24.120 Yeah, I think. I thought I'm pretty smart, like I'll 0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:27.279 get this quickly. And then as soon as you get deeper, 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:28.279 have you are you in therapy? 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:29.880 Yeah? Yeah, I talk about in the book to this 0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:32.719 guy Phil Stutz, who's sort of a famous Oh yeah. 0:04:32.600 --> 0:04:37.200 Stuts, the one that they did the documentary. 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:37.720 Was right, Yeah, okay, I was going to way before. 0:04:38.360 --> 0:04:40.159 I think it was like twelve years ago. I can't 0:04:40.160 --> 0:04:42.599 remember who sent me there. Maybe I had saga go 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:44.520 I said, we can't be friends anymore until you go 0:04:44.560 --> 0:04:47.320 to therapy. Oh yeah, he was. He was there till 0:04:47.360 --> 0:04:49.520 he died. How he still owes film money? Phil told 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:51.000 me he said he didn't pay for his last session. 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:52.800 Well, he doesn't need the money. 0:04:53.160 --> 0:04:53.800 So it helped you. 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:56.159 Then it helped me, Yes, it helped me immensely. It 0:04:56.160 --> 0:04:58.520 helped me with my self awareness. It helped me understand 0:04:58.520 --> 0:05:01.240 the way that I the vibes I'm giving off if 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:05.560 my personality was coming before any sort of thoughtfulness. So 0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:08.200 now I'm a little bit more thoughtful and careful with 0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:11.040 my personality rather than throwing it out there. It's not 0:05:11.120 --> 0:05:14.640 necessary for me to insert myself all the time. 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:17.680 Mike, I said, you've already chimed the world. Stop. You 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:19.760 don't have to do anymore. Just sit back and you know, yes, 0:05:19.800 --> 0:05:21.040 stuff trying is hard. Maybe that's you. 0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:24.440 Well we get I think we get interesting conversation because 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:27.920 I think we get very wrapped up in who we. 0:05:27.880 --> 0:05:30.120 Think we are and who we think they want us 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:32.360 to be. Yes, yeah, I had that a lot too, 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:35.360 you know, just coming under the scene, you know, being 0:05:35.400 --> 0:05:37.520 a teen idol, and then you know some sort of 0:05:37.680 --> 0:05:40.359 you know guy which wasn't me, like, you know, and 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:42.560 I'd go on Howard Stern or Jamie Kimmel or all 0:05:42.560 --> 0:05:44.240 these shows, and I gas, oh, you're a playboy. Tell 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:46.200 me about all the girls you fucked I'm like, oh, yeah, 0:05:46.400 --> 0:05:48.720 doesn't did that none of it? It was true, but 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:50.440 I felt I had to be that guy for that, 0:05:50.800 --> 0:05:53.560 which is when I and they didn't. It wasn't their fault. 0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:55.919 I played into it. But once I let that go, 0:05:56.000 --> 0:05:58.120 and it's just hard to trust yourself that you're good 0:05:58.200 --> 0:06:01.200 enough and you're interesting enough, and they're charming enough, right 0:06:01.279 --> 0:06:03.599 just to sit and talk. And I didn't like I 0:06:03.680 --> 0:06:06.839 went into growing up kicking and screaming. I just barely 0:06:06.880 --> 0:06:08.520 made it too. I just didn't want to because it 0:06:08.560 --> 0:06:12.560 just seemed boring to me and it really required sober 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:15.640 up to But it's you know, it's been the greatest. 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:16.640 I've just turned sixty. 0:06:17.080 --> 0:06:20.360 Oh my god. Really, yeah, that's amazing. 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:21.720 Well look I'm tired of that. 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:24.320 But you know it's okay, I'm forty. 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:26.600 We're gonna have a big birthday. 0:06:26.839 --> 0:06:29.360 Well in two years. I mean, yeah, I gotta start 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:30.720 planning it now if I'm going to have the right 0:06:30.800 --> 0:06:32.880 kind of birthday party. I just want everyone to know 0:06:32.880 --> 0:06:35.560 that I offered John an edible before this interview started, 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:37.800 because I forgot he was sober, and this is a 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:40.560 big problem with me as well. Back to the therapy thing, 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:42.240 real quick. One of the things I learned, which is 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:45.600 interesting what you're saying, is, you know, I always thought 0:06:45.640 --> 0:06:47.919 I had to be the center, like the excitement of 0:06:47.920 --> 0:06:51.680 a dinner party or like the entertainment for everybody. Like 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:53.839 I thought that's what people expected of me, that I 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:55.560 had to go to every dinner party and just be 0:06:55.640 --> 0:06:58.440 the funniest person there. And if there was another funny 0:06:58.480 --> 0:07:00.640 person there, I was so relieved. I was like, let 0:07:00.640 --> 0:07:03.760 them do it. But everyone is so insecure about their 0:07:03.800 --> 0:07:05.960 own funny that people would look to me and be like, no, 0:07:06.120 --> 0:07:08.840 you go, you do it, and I'll you know. So 0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:12.280 it became this weird cycle of like you impress upon 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:15.840 yourself what you assume people are expecting of you, when 0:07:16.200 --> 0:07:19.280 really maybe not everybody's expecting any of that. 0:07:19.560 --> 0:07:21.280 No, And then they go to Chelsea's she got to 0:07:21.280 --> 0:07:24.400 calm down, calm down, you know, say with me, I 0:07:24.440 --> 0:07:26.680 thought I was had to be that, and I, you know, 0:07:26.800 --> 0:07:28.760 drinking too, I thought I gotta be, you know, so 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:31.520 I can be funny and sharp. People see, you know, 0:07:31.560 --> 0:07:34.240 it's fuzzy, is what they saw. Yeah. I bet you 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:36.800 feel that too, because you know you're you are people 0:07:36.840 --> 0:07:38.480 see you on TV and you're funny, and you're sharp 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:42.280 and you're very smart too. I think that's what impresses 0:07:42.320 --> 0:07:43.160 me most about you. 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:44.920 Well, thank you. I appreciate you lost you. 0:07:45.000 --> 0:07:47.960 I know you lost your brother when you're young and 0:07:48.280 --> 0:07:50.720 abandonment issues. But then there was another really sweet brother 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:51.880 who I met on your show. 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:55.760 Is he still yeah, Roy is the best, He's the sweetest. 0:07:56.360 --> 0:07:59.920 I will he'll love that he still y passed? 0:08:00.240 --> 0:08:00.720 Did he really? 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:01.120 Yeah? 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:03.400 Yeah, but I mean I'll see you're doing great. By 0:08:03.400 --> 0:08:04.440 the way, I'll see. 0:08:04.320 --> 0:08:06.720 Him in the afterlife anyway. You know how when did 0:08:06.720 --> 0:08:10.520 he die a couple of years ago? Yeah? He was sweet, right, Yeah, 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:12.720 he was a sweetheart. One of the things that I 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:14.600 was reading about in your book that I took issue 0:08:14.600 --> 0:08:17.600 with is your love of Disneyland and disney World. 0:08:17.760 --> 0:08:21.160 Well I find that annoying, right, Yeah, to be honest 0:08:21.200 --> 0:08:23.520 with you, I was, I was over it. I was done. 0:08:24.080 --> 0:08:26.440 And then I met my wife and he's like me 0:08:26.560 --> 0:08:28.280 back in you know last night. 0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:31.800 Your wife loves disney World? Yea, and she and so 0:08:32.559 --> 0:08:33.959 what was the period of time you were able to 0:08:33.960 --> 0:08:37.800 stay away from disney World or Disneyland a couple weeks? 0:08:38.760 --> 0:08:40.320 It was a couple It was a while, I was 0:08:40.400 --> 0:08:42.560 just it was enough already, I thought, you know, honestly, 0:08:43.320 --> 0:08:44.199 but last night this. 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:45.920 Why were you spending so much time there? 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:48.480 In the first it was have you been? 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:49.920 Yeah? I was. 0:08:50.080 --> 0:08:53.160 I was there honestly, like towards like before I sobered 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:54.400 up for ten years. It was kind of fun to 0:08:54.400 --> 0:08:56.559 go and get drunk there, you know, And there was a. 0:08:56.640 --> 0:08:58.960 It was dry. It was dry for a long time 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:01.480 time in the world. They didn't have any alcohol there at. 0:09:01.440 --> 0:09:04.320 The at the Magic Kingdom, Catherine Magic Kingdom they don't, 0:09:04.320 --> 0:09:08.439 but but Epcot they have. You'd have beers across the world. 0:09:09.200 --> 0:09:11.520 But no. I did get over because it's when you 0:09:11.559 --> 0:09:13.280 walk to those gates the rest of the world goes 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:16.480 away and it's just a it's you have. It's a 0:09:16.480 --> 0:09:17.240 happy place to be. 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:18.760 That's how I feel about the Playboy. Man. 0:09:18.920 --> 0:09:21.679 You it used to be the last night. So I'm 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:23.840 leaving town. I'm so busy with all this book stuff. 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:25.480 And my wife says, and we do this once in 0:09:25.480 --> 0:09:26.959 a while. I was like, I got a surprise. We're 0:09:26.960 --> 0:09:28.559 going on date night tonight. This is the last night. 0:09:28.720 --> 0:09:30.840 I said, great, where is it? I can't tell you, 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:32.199 you know, I said, O, yeah, I don't have a 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:34.280 lot of time, but I want to at least spend 0:09:34.360 --> 0:09:36.560 one good night with you before we go. And so 0:09:37.000 --> 0:09:39.040 I said, what do I wear? Said? Boots? Boots are good. 0:09:39.280 --> 0:09:42.000 What else? Well, that's good what you have on? I said, 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:44.240 is it a hike? Is it outdoors? It might be 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:47.280 my not you know. So we get so we're driving 0:09:47.640 --> 0:09:50.400 a by Pasadena. We're going up to this neighborhood house 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:52.600 and there's no parking. I said, what's the date night? 0:09:52.640 --> 0:09:56.120 You and need to what's a Disney party? And there's 0:09:56.160 --> 0:09:58.000 a couple of Disney legends that are going to be 0:09:58.080 --> 0:10:01.120 there and a hundred other Disney any geek fans that 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:04.760 you're gonna take pictures? I said, this is date night? 0:10:05.240 --> 0:10:08.640 And it was that nice people. But you know, I said, 0:10:08.679 --> 0:10:10.560 every selfie I take you give me a hand job? 0:10:11.200 --> 0:10:12.120 And did she did? 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:12.240 She? 0:10:12.320 --> 0:10:13.760 Yeah? It was about eight hundred. 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:16.320 Yeah, when is she going to start giving you the 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:16.760 hand job? 0:10:16.840 --> 0:10:20.320 I should have Scott something better? Huh probably, So, I 0:10:20.360 --> 0:10:24.000 don't know, but she loves it. I'm you know, I'm. 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:25.679 Just happy you're in a happy relationship. You know what 0:10:25.760 --> 0:10:27.199 I mean? If you have to give a bunch of 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:28.760 hand jobs and go to a bunch of Disney events. 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:30.320 I don't have to give that hand Oh no. 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:32.120 I mean if you have to get sorry to get 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:33.559 a bunch of hand jobs and go to a bunch 0:10:33.600 --> 0:10:35.360 of Disney events, then that's the bed you made, and 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:36.440 now you're to lie in it. 0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:38.439 You're right now. You can I ask you about this, 0:10:38.520 --> 0:10:40.280 Joe Koy, because I. 0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:42.640 Love that you think you're fucking interviewing. 0:10:43.280 --> 0:10:44.480 I'm just I'm interested. 0:10:44.600 --> 0:10:46.199 I have a series of questions I want to ask 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:47.240 you already. 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:49.520 I thought it was going to be the greatest thing 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:51.400 ever to you. I was so happy for for you. 0:10:51.440 --> 0:10:53.800 I didn't know him much. But and then, but do 0:10:53.840 --> 0:10:55.720 you feel like if you fall in love again, you 0:10:55.800 --> 0:10:57.280 kind of keep it quiet for a couple of years. 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:00.400 Probably you know. I don't need to learn that lesson twice. 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:03.160 Although I didn't even listen. To be very honest, I 0:11:03.200 --> 0:11:05.959 don't feel regret or a rootful towards the way that 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:07.960 I behaved publicly with him. I think that was a 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:10.560 very good exercise for me, and it was nice for 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:13.880 other people to see that side of me, because I've. 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:14.439 Never been soft. 0:11:14.520 --> 0:11:15.840 It was a softer show, very. 0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:18.720 Like publicly in love before, so I don't really regret that, 0:11:18.840 --> 0:11:21.480 even though I probably wouldn't choose to operate like that again, 0:11:21.559 --> 0:11:23.480 you know what I mean, because it's like, you know, 0:11:23.520 --> 0:11:27.120 who needs to It's almost very like teenager ish. But 0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:30.160 that's how it was cute. It was a thing. 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:31.120 It just felt so bad. 0:11:32.000 --> 0:11:34.600 But it's okay. I mean, just a relationships end, you know, 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:36.720 and you learn from them, and and I think that 0:11:37.120 --> 0:11:39.360 the most important thing to do as we get older 0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:43.120 is to remember not to villainize or demonize the people 0:11:43.200 --> 0:11:45.880 who've left our lives and actually look at them and say, 0:11:46.040 --> 0:11:47.800 you know what, what did that person bring out in me? 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:50.120 That someone that I hadn't been brought out in me before? 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:52.560 So I think that's okay. 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:55.120 I have like I think before taking top. 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:56.640 Off, because John's turning me on. 0:11:57.200 --> 0:12:00.120 Okay, I think before I wrote this book, I would say, oh, 0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:02.120 I have regrets. Yeah, this I didn't. I got dumped, 0:12:02.120 --> 0:12:05.360 I got cheated on a man, And after writing I 0:12:05.400 --> 0:12:07.280 were like, no, that's like what you said, Like, if 0:12:07.320 --> 0:12:10.760 I didn't have those heartbreaks that happened, I wouldn't have 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:13.080 known how to be right for my marriage. 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:15.920 Now, well you're yeah, because especially because you were married 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:19.319 to Rebecca Romaine first before your current wife, and you 0:12:19.320 --> 0:12:21.240 talk about that in the book, and you talk about 0:12:21.280 --> 0:12:26.040 your therapist and that marriage ending right and your therapist 0:12:26.080 --> 0:12:28.720 basically telling you that you weren't ready to be with 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:31.040 the one and that you had a lot of work 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:33.800 to do, right, So what were those conversations like. 0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:35.840 Well, it was more it was more about it was 0:12:35.880 --> 0:12:38.160 heartbreaking and I didn't want it to end. And you know, 0:12:38.400 --> 0:12:41.240 I always thought have kids and a thing and you know, 0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:44.079 fairy tale ending. And when it did, it ripped me apart. 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:46.960 And I was angry for many years, too angry, and. 0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:49.480 It wasn't her or angry at the situation. 0:12:49.600 --> 0:12:52.520 Well her, you know, as I learned. So I had 0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:55.280 the first chapter I wrote was I thought I'd take 0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:57.720 the hardest ones and I wrote about this terrible the 0:12:57.760 --> 0:13:00.120 low point in my life. I had this dui and 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:02.280 I was driving drunkers drive around Beverly Hills, and I 0:13:03.120 --> 0:13:05.520 went to rehab and I think it was there where 0:13:05.559 --> 0:13:08.679 I discovered, like, so the steps you probably know something. 0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:12.360 The fourth step is your resentments. So I was like, 0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:14.960 she did this to me, she did that, And I'm 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:17.520 making this long list and the sponsors. Have you done 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:21.760 I said, noff, and then he goes, so, what part 0:13:21.920 --> 0:13:23.719 did you play in that? I said, what do you mean? 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:26.520 What none? It might have played, even if it's one percent. 0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:29.480 And I started writing and say, oh, yeah, yeah. And 0:13:29.520 --> 0:13:31.680 it was the first time I really was honest about it. 0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:34.280 And I had just as much to do with the 0:13:34.400 --> 0:13:37.120 end of our marriage as she did, so you know, you. 0:13:37.120 --> 0:13:40.560 Learn, yeah, yeah, what was that last thing that broke 0:13:40.600 --> 0:13:42.719 the like the last straw that broke the camel's back 0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:43.319 in the marriage? 0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:45.680 I started to get emasculated, and I don't know how 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:47.960 much of it was her fault or how much was mine, 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:50.680 but I felt the relationship just was like she was 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:51.920 here and I was down here and I was, oh, 0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:54.839 you're on TV. I'm and it just was not good. 0:13:54.920 --> 0:13:57.040 And we split up for a while and we got 0:13:57.080 --> 0:13:59.040 back together and it was there was a lot of 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:01.920 rules just didn't work, and I just said, this is 0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:04.599 not working, you know, and we walked away. But I 0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:06.079 have never seen her since. 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:08.560 But have you never spoken to her since? 0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:10.719 The last time I talked to her was in this 0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:14.920 But thank god, because I did more about myself, like 0:14:14.960 --> 0:14:16.599 I'm not gonna go I would never go into a 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:19.240 relationship the same way, and thank god I didn't when 0:14:19.280 --> 0:14:20.160 Caitlyn came around. 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:23.320 Right, And so how did you what tools did you 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:25.760 have or like that you developed over the years that 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:28.960 made you be able to like start in a healthy 0:14:29.000 --> 0:14:30.880 way this relationship or healthier. 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:34.280 Yeah, for sure. I mean I knew that I wanted to. 0:14:34.520 --> 0:14:36.920 I could get by for so many years with fifty 0:14:36.920 --> 0:14:41.240 percent more than most people sixty percent maybe in anything work. 0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:43.480 And I was just always afraid to give a hundred 0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:45.720 because if you failed, then you're then Wow, you gave 0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:48.760 it as all and you failed. So with the relationships, 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:50.760 I'm gonna give it my all. I'm gonna throw everything 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:52.960 I'm gonna be and if it doesn't work, at least 0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:57.320 I know how to do that right. Sober and loyal 0:14:57.360 --> 0:15:00.560 and honest and all the stuff it and it it worked. 0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:01.720 Does that make sense? 0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:04.720 Yeah, I mean it makes sense. How many years have 0:15:04.760 --> 0:15:05.440 you been sober? 0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:06.720 Close to eight? 0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:10.080 Eight years? Okay, So would you consider that newly sober? No? 0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:14.120 I was, you know, I was drinking into my fifties 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:15.760 and it just it was just time. 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:17.640 Well, you talk. You have a lot of examples in 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:19.840 the Book of Times where you I mean you don't 0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:21.560 make yourself look good in this book and a lot 0:15:21.560 --> 0:15:24.080 of areas, and I actually appreciate that because I also 0:15:24.280 --> 0:15:26.240 like to be honest. You it's very important to be 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:28.280 honest and not to gloss over like and pretend like 0:15:28.280 --> 0:15:29.760 you've got your crushing it all the time. 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:31.720 I started out that way. I was like, I'm going 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:33.520 to write a hero book. And I started writing like 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:35.400 this is sex pullshit, and it turned into a phuman 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:38.600 you know, it was a human story because again, like 0:15:38.640 --> 0:15:40.560 I never wanted. I never thought i'd write a book. 0:15:40.600 --> 0:15:42.160 It wasn't in my thing. I didn't think I was 0:15:42.200 --> 0:15:44.520 sharp enough. And friends of mine that were writing, but 0:15:44.800 --> 0:15:46.640 how do you do it? Why do you even start it? 0:15:46.720 --> 0:15:48.760 I just didn't get it, didn't get it. And then 0:15:48.800 --> 0:15:51.840 when Bob died, I wrote a beautiful obituary kind of 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:54.240 thing in La Times. I remember, and so people say, oh, 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:55.840 you're a good writer. And I had a kid too, 0:15:55.920 --> 0:15:57.480 and I said, okay, so now I'm a father. What 0:15:57.520 --> 0:15:59.200 was that like? And I just kept saying no, And 0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:02.240 then I really thought about leaving something behind for him, 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:04.320 A love letter to all the beautiful people that have 0:16:04.360 --> 0:16:06.480 come in and out of my life, to my wife, 0:16:06.480 --> 0:16:07.960 and I've had a lot of mentors over the years 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:10.720 that I wanted to talk about. But then the clutch 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:12.480 was that I found I knew I had them, but 0:16:12.960 --> 0:16:14.760