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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,

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Speaker 2: and speaker.

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Speaker 3: And this is Sarah Hartunger. I'm a mother of three,

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Speaker 3: a practicing physician and blogger. On the side, we are

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Speaker 3: two working parents who love our careers and our families.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds.

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Speaker 2: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family,

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Speaker 2: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping

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Speaker 2: out long term career goals. We want you to get

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Speaker 2: the most out of life.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds, this says Laura.

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Speaker 2: This episode is airing if we have our ducks in

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Speaker 2: a row in mid September of twenty twenty three, which

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Speaker 2: should also again, if I have my ducks in a row,

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Speaker 2: be the week I am leading a time tracking challenge.

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Speaker 2: So September is always a time of new starts, new routines,

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Speaker 2: and whenever our routines shift, our schedules shift, it's helpful

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Speaker 2: to just figure out where the time truly goes, because

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Speaker 2: when you know where the time goes, then you can

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Speaker 2: make wise choices about where you would like it to go.

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Speaker 2: And it could be that all is wonderful, in which

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Speaker 2: case you should celebrate that fact. Pop the champagne, release

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Speaker 2: the balloons, whatever it is you're going to do. But

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Speaker 2: if there's anything that you're finding a source of stress

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Speaker 2: or anxiety, or you just think isn't as smooth as

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Speaker 2: it could be, then knowing where the time goes is a.

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Speaker 1: Great way to figure out what you can do about it.

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Speaker 2: So I have been tracking my time for a long

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Speaker 2: long time. I began in April of twenty fifteen. I

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Speaker 2: had tracked a few weeks here and there before then

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Speaker 2: for various projects, but I began continuously then and have

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Speaker 2: been going since. I find it pretty easy to do

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Speaker 2: at this point, and kind of even fun to do

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Speaker 2: on occasion. Sarah, you do not entirely share my feelings

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Speaker 2: about time tracking, so maybe we should explore this a

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Speaker 2: little bit.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Well, I'm certainly not against time tracking whatsoever. I think

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Speaker 3: it's an incredibly useful tool, and I actually treat time

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Speaker 3: tracking more like an intermittent practice rather than something constant,

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Speaker 3: because I guess I just find it a litle a

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Speaker 3: little bit more difficult than you do. For whatever reason.

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Speaker 3: I think I get bogged down and trying to make

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Speaker 3: it like too perfect or something, and then you know,

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Speaker 3: I'll forget something and just be like ah, So it

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Speaker 3: just and it just doesn't feel needed for me to

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Speaker 3: do it all the time, but I absolutely love it

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Speaker 3: to do it intermittently. And my preferred kind of cadence

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Speaker 3: that I've landed on as of late is to do

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Speaker 3: it like once a quintile so, or like once a

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Speaker 3: quarter so, like five times a year with the shift

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Speaker 3: of the seasons, whether that's the beginning of summer or

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Speaker 3: the beginning of the school year.

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Speaker 1: Et cetera.

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Speaker 3: I think it's a great time to kind of take stock,

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Speaker 3: just as you said, like where is the time actually going?

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Speaker 3: Because it really helps me with troubleshooting and figuring out

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Speaker 3: where pockets of time might be or making decisions about

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Speaker 3: things that I might want to cut out.

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Speaker 1: So I think it's a fantastic tool. Yeah, But I mean,

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Speaker 1: somebody like you, you have a.

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Speaker 2: Pretty good sense of your time already, partly because it

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Speaker 2: is so highly planned that there tend not to be

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Speaker 2: big stretches of time that you couldn't account for, which

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Speaker 2: I think is something that happens with some people. So

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Speaker 2: those people are always find time tracking the most eye opening.

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Speaker 2: I think though, that even people who mostly know where

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Speaker 2: the time goes. There's always something to be learned from it.

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Speaker 2: I mean I look back over my time logs. I

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Speaker 2: like to see them as memories. They you know, check

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Speaker 2: the time from six years ago, for instance, every week

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Speaker 2: and see what was going on then in my life.

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Speaker 2: And I also just like to spot check my time

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Speaker 2: logs at the end of the week and say, well,

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Speaker 2: was I doing the things that I think I should

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Speaker 2: be doing, Like what do I want to change? Or

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Speaker 2: what went well? What didn't go well? And you know,

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Speaker 2: did this look like an interesting week? If I was

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Speaker 2: going to share this week with someone, would I be like, jeez,

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Speaker 2: I my life is boring or terrible or whatever?

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Speaker 1: Or is it like, oh yeah, no, that we got

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Speaker 1: to do some pretty cool stuff. So I think that's

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Speaker 1: always I find that interesting.

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Speaker 3: Like what is your I think people would want to

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Speaker 3: know too, Like what does your time audit practice look like?

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Speaker 3: Because I know you've been going back to review your

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Speaker 3: log and then you also have been like going back

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Speaker 3: to previous years. So when do you do this, what

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Speaker 3: does it look like? Give us a little picture.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty quick.

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Speaker 2: It tends to be a Monday morning sort of thing,

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Speaker 2: because that is when my time log week starts, so

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Speaker 2: I name the file after that date. So the week

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Speaker 2: we were recording this, for instance, is August twenty one,

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Speaker 2: twenty twenty three. It would have been August twenty one,

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Speaker 2: but it turns out August twenty one happened in twenty sixteen,

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Speaker 2: and I'm still recording on the same laptop, So I

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Speaker 2: didn't originally name it with the file of the year.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know that i'd still be doing it in

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Speaker 2: twenty twenty three, so this didn't occur to me that

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Speaker 2: I should label it with the year originally. So I

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Speaker 2: finished the log on Monday morning, the previous log, because

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Speaker 2: it goes to five am Monday, right, that's when it starts.

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Speaker 2: So I record the end of Sunday night, like when

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Speaker 2: I went to bed, if there were any wake ups

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Speaker 2: or anything like that, and then I archived that log

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Speaker 2: and open a new one. And so as part of

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Speaker 2: archiving it now I look back over it and say,

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Speaker 2: how did the week go. I tend not to add

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Speaker 2: up things anymore. I don't look at how many hours

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Speaker 2: I work. I don't look at how many hours I

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Speaker 2: slept or exercised or anything like that. It's more a

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Speaker 2: holistic kind of look at it, and then I open

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Speaker 2: the new one and start it for Monday morning, and

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Speaker 2: then I open the one from six years ago with

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Speaker 2: the corresponding date and take a look and quick trip.

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Speaker 1: Down memory lane.

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Speaker 2: And I always have to kind of nudge myself to

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Speaker 2: do it, because of course it's Monday morning and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: it's time to get started. I need to get to work.

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Speaker 2: This is the beginning of the week. I've got that

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Speaker 2: fired up energy to start the week. But I do

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Speaker 2: find it rewarding to do so, and sometimes I even

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Speaker 2: get ideas looking at the past of you know, oh

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Speaker 2: that I did this and this and I could write

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Speaker 2: about that or whatever, so.

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Speaker 1: It's worth doing.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't have to do it Monday morning, like maybe

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Speaker 2: I should do it more as like Monday lunch kind

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Speaker 2: of thing, just to not have that tension between needing

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Speaker 2: to get started on Monday morning versus revisiting the past.

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Speaker 1: So that's something I could change. Interesting.

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Speaker 3: I feel like the closest thing I have to that

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Speaker 3: look back is that I I am on my third

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Speaker 3: year of a five year journal, so it's still because

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Speaker 3: my five year journal began in twenty twenty one and

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Speaker 3: the world looked kind.

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Speaker 1: Of crazy that year. It's actually like, wow, a lot

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Speaker 1: has changed.

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Speaker 3: I had some comment about like first day of school

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Speaker 3: pictures with masks on or something two years ago.

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Speaker 1: But you also look back at your old blogs. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that's more like random world.

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Speaker 2: I don't have systematically, I feel because you've linked to

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Speaker 2: some I feel like, as you know.

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Speaker 3: It's more like, oh, like that'll just pop into my head.

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Speaker 3: I mean, there's very little systematic about my blog in general.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, like I'll think of something and google it,

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Speaker 3: I'll search for it on my own blog.

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Speaker 2: Although sometimes it's fun to look at memory Lane with

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Speaker 2: this because you have the same widget I do. I mean,

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Speaker 2: it may be made by a different company, but it

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Speaker 2: suggest other blog posts that you might wish to read

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Speaker 2: at the bottom of your blog. And it's also because

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Speaker 2: it's usually because it's got some same keyword in it, right,

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Speaker 2: like this is not it's very rudimentary AI, but it

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Speaker 2: suggests that because so sometimes I wind up looking back

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Speaker 2: on those as well, because I'm like, oh, yeah, what

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Speaker 2: was I doing when I last had this thought of X?

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Speaker 2: And I find that I write the same thing a lot.

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Speaker 1: But maybe that's just me.

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Speaker 3: It hasn't gotten old for me yet. So I don't

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Speaker 3: think you need to worry about writing the same thing.

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Speaker 3: But yes, I do click on those sometimes. I just

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Speaker 3: don't have like any.

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Speaker 1: Kind of ritual around it.

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Speaker 2: It's just, yeah, organic I'm gonna I'm gonna move it

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Speaker 2: to Monday lunch.

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking about this now.

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Speaker 2: I can remember what I was doing Sunday night and

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Speaker 2: Monday morning through to Monday lunch.

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Speaker 1: I don't have to open the timelog first thing. I

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Speaker 1: can get it. So anyway, we're gonna be talking time

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Speaker 1: management in this episode.

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Speaker 2: Obviously a favorite topic of mine, although I'd say it's

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Speaker 2: a favorite topic of Sarah's as well.

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Speaker 1: So we just have a couple tips.

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Speaker 2: We're going to talk about some of our favorites that

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Speaker 2: have come up over the years from looking at our

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Speaker 2: own time, looking at other people's time. Because people send

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Speaker 2: details about their schedules to me, they send them to

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Speaker 2: Sarah as well, as she's been doing a lot of

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Speaker 2: you know, work with different people on planning. So we'll

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Speaker 2: go ahead and talk about them. So one of my

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Speaker 2: favorite ones is deciding how much time to give certain

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Speaker 2: tasks that certain tasks we're not going to just like

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Speaker 2: do them when they vaguely need to be done or

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Speaker 2: when they occur to us, or until they're like over

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Speaker 2: whatever that means, because they will expand to fill all

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Speaker 2: available space. And two of the most obvious ones one

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Speaker 2: at work, one at home, email at work and housework

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Speaker 2: at home. Both of these are almost never going to

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Speaker 2: be done in any sense of truly being done, like

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Speaker 2: for a long period of time.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you could get to inbox zero, but like.

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Speaker 2: Within about three minutes, somebody has emailed to you again.

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Speaker 2: So it's a very fleeting sense of done, which is

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Speaker 2: the same thing with housework and empty the dishwasher and

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Speaker 2: scrub everything down, and then there's something somewhere I don't know,

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Speaker 2: somebody puts something in a trash can, or there's dirty

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Speaker 2: clothes and in hand for I mean, it's never done

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Speaker 2: in the sense that there will never have to be

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Speaker 2: done again for any length of time.

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Speaker 1: So with that you have to kind of decide.

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Speaker 2: What amount of time you wish to devote to them,

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Speaker 2: as opposed to letting them dictate how much time you do.

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Speaker 2: So for email, for many people, it helps to set

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Speaker 2: certain windows that they're going to check they could be

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Speaker 2: frequent windows, like if you need to be very responsive,

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Speaker 2: you might decide to be off email for forty five

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Speaker 2: minutes and on for fifteen and off for forty five

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Speaker 2: and on for fifteen or something like that.

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Speaker 1: Or if you have a little bit more of a

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Speaker 1: relaxed kind of.

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Speaker 2: Schedule, it could be in the morning, at lunch, at

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Speaker 2: the end of the day or something. But you decide

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Speaker 2: and then do it then and then don't do it

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Speaker 2: so much at other times.

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Speaker 1: So same with housework.

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Speaker 2: You might decide, Okay, we're gonna spend twenty minutes after

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Speaker 2: dinner tidying up, and then if it's important to it

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Speaker 2: gets done in those twenty minutes. If it wasn't, we're

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Speaker 2: not going to sit there and do it all evening

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Speaker 2: just to reach some standard of done. Sarah, Yeah, you

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Speaker 2: feel differently a little bit about email, although you've.

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Speaker 3: Done the same different and the same. I mean, I

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Speaker 3: one hundred percent agree with you. You could literally spend

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Speaker 3: your entire day like being in your inbox and responding

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Speaker 3: to everything. And by the way, I think how Newport

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Speaker 3: brought this up, but like the more emails you respond to,

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Speaker 3: the more emails are going to get back. So actually,

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Speaker 3: if you want to make the task less of a task,

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Speaker 3: don't respond all the time, don't be up to date

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Speaker 3: one hundred percent of the time, because then more emails

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Speaker 3: are going to come back to you, and stuff is

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Speaker 3: just going to move faster faster than you can handle it,

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Speaker 3: and then you're going to be in your email all day.

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Speaker 3: So my answer to that is, yes, I do want

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Speaker 3: to get to inbox zero. I want to acknowledge every message.

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Speaker 3: I want to clear it out. I don't, as I've spoken,

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Speaker 3: I don't do any fancy like FULD.

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Speaker 1: I'm just like.

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Speaker 3: Archive archive archive, or process or like respond or deal

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Speaker 3: with it that way. I know nothing in there is

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Speaker 3: getting entirely missed. But I really only do that like

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Speaker 3: when I've decided to do it. Generally it's most Fridays,

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Speaker 3: but if I'm on vacation, I may miss a Friday,

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Speaker 3: and then I may need a longer Friday. But by

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Speaker 3: giving myself permission that, like generally, I'm not clearing out

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Speaker 3: my inbox except for these designated times, I think I'm

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Speaker 3: more efficient and it prevents that like spinning wheel from

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Speaker 3: getting out of control in terms of the responses. And

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Speaker 3: I guess I would say similar for household, Like I've

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Speaker 3: never felt like it was a good use of time

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Speaker 3: to like run around after the kids to like pick

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Speaker 3: up each toy they played with, like continuously, But rather

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Speaker 3: if I put a container like maybe I do want

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Speaker 3: to get the house to a certain level of tidiness,

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Speaker 3: but be like we're just gonna deal with it at

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Speaker 3: the end of the day and try to do it.

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Speaker 1: In fifteen minutes.

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Speaker 3: Like that, it just corrals a task that could literally

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Speaker 3: be continuous, and you can't be an inbox zero or

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Speaker 3: clean house zero one hundred percent of the time or

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Speaker 3: like that is your entire life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so really.

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Speaker 2: I mean the closest we come to it being clean

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Speaker 2: is sort of well, the cleaning service in our house

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Speaker 2: comes every week, but they alternate what they do. They

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Speaker 2: do the kitchen every time, but they do the bedrooms

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Speaker 2: one week and do the other parts of the house

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Speaker 2: the other week. And so after they've done the bedrooms

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Speaker 2: and the kitchen and we've tidied up a little bit

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Speaker 2: the night before, like just to get stuff put away

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Speaker 2: so it doesn't disappear when they come in and clean,

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Speaker 2: it's clean for like a little bit, but then somebody's

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Speaker 2: in the house.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't stay that way, Like somebody.

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Speaker 2: Puts mail on the calendar, or somebody puts the you know,

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Speaker 2: the dishwasher has been run or something. So somebody leaves

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Speaker 2: a dish in the think because they didn't want to

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Speaker 2: empty the whole day, I don't know. But it's clean

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Speaker 2: for an hour maybe, and then it's over. And so

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Speaker 2: you just have to kind of deal with this reality.

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Speaker 2: And I think some people have harder psychological time with that.

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Speaker 2: I don't know that they feel like the state of

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Speaker 2: their house is reflective on them. But I think you

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Speaker 2: could be like orderly without being over the top tidy.

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Speaker 2: So decide how much time you want to put into it,

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Speaker 2: keep it at that, move on. The next tip we

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Speaker 2: want to talk about is multitasking. So you can't make

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Speaker 2: more time, and you can't multitask similar activities, but you

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Speaker 2: can make more time by doing two unrelated things at once.

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Speaker 2: Sarah and I recently read The Long Game, or I

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Speaker 2: reread it, but The Long Game by Dori Clark, which

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Speaker 2: we have been talking about with our Patreon group as

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Speaker 2: part of our book club, and she talks about how

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Speaker 2: when she logged her time for a month, she was

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Speaker 2: able to kind of double up on enough activities that

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Speaker 2: she was able to feel like she actually made several

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Speaker 2: more hours in a week than the one hundred and

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Speaker 2: sixty eight hours the week actually contains. I mean, so

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Speaker 2: that would be things like exercising with a friend or

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Speaker 2: calling her mom while doing housework or something, you know,

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Speaker 2: just so that it was the time was used for

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Speaker 2: two activities at the same time, but two that weren't

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Speaker 2: going to conflict with each other. So not I'm on

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Speaker 2: a zoom call and I'm checking my email at the

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Speaker 2: same time, because you're not paying attention to one of them.

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Speaker 2: But if you are walking to work and calling your

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Speaker 2: mom at the same time, you've gotten yourself to work

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Speaker 2: and you've nurtured that relationship.

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Speaker 1: So it's a bonus, Sarah, you do this all the time.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I feel like I mean, I think

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Speaker 3: a lot of us do this all the time. I

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Speaker 3: think earbuds have been a great way to make tasks

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Speaker 3: that don't require any brain power a little bit more

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Speaker 3: fun because you can enjoy your favorite podcast while you

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Speaker 3: are tidying up or unloading the dishwasher. So that maybe,

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Speaker 3: like what we just talked about in the last part,

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Speaker 3: even when you are doing that fifteen minute cleanup, it

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Speaker 3: doesn't feel like you're jrudgery. But I also absolutely embrace

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Speaker 3: that kind of social slash like other things. So I

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Speaker 3: think book club is great for that because like you're

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Speaker 3: doing social but you're also reading and like it's kind

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Speaker 3: of two in one. And then my running group is

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Speaker 3: a great example because I'm getting my workout in and

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Speaker 3: spending time with friends at the same time trying to

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Speaker 3: do a weekly lunch with my work colleagues. That's like

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Speaker 3: networking slash, you have to eat lunch slash.

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Speaker 1: Just fun. So one hundred percent.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, I loved how Dory talked about She's like,

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Speaker 3: I actually had two hundred hours in my week.

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Speaker 2: Well she's a very productive person, but yeah, I mean

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Speaker 2: it's she was making time.

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Speaker 1: Left and right, which is very funny.

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Speaker 2: There was actually an article of The New York Times

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Speaker 2: long ago by Oliver Berkman, who is a friend of

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Speaker 2: the podcast.

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Speaker 1: We've had him on.

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Speaker 2: We love Oliver, but it was also kind of like

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Speaker 2: only do one thing at once, like don't listen to

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Speaker 2: that podcast while doing chores, Like come on, Oliver, are

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Speaker 2: you never doing chores? Like do you just hate all podcasts.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what's going on with that, but I

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Speaker 2: think for most of us that is a way to

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Speaker 2: feel like we have a little bit more time, particularly

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Speaker 2: if there are things in your life that aren't as discretionary, like.

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Speaker 1: Commuting or chores.

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Speaker 2: That being able to do something that you enjoy at

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Speaker 2: the same time as a way to feel like you

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Speaker 2: have a little bit more leisure in your life.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I mean I don't listen to a podcast while

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Speaker 1: I do headspace. That would be well, that's yes, that

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Speaker 1: would be defeating the point. Don't do that.

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Speaker 2: All right, Well, we're going to take a quick ad

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Speaker 2: break and we will be right back with a few

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Speaker 2: more of our favorite time management tips. Well, we are

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Speaker 2: back talking time management, a favorite topic of both of ours,

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Speaker 2: and just a few of our favorite strategies that we

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Speaker 2: use personally we've seen other people use.

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Speaker 1: So one of our favorites.

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Speaker 2: As well is that sleep and exercise don't take time,

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Speaker 2: They make time because you will be more productive if

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Speaker 2: you are sleeping. The amount of time that you need

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Speaker 2: to sleep and moving your body something reasonable, you know,

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Speaker 2: thirty minutes a day.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be.

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Speaker 2: Three hours a day, but thirty minutes would probably have

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Speaker 2: a massive benefit over doing nothing. So Sarah has made

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Speaker 2: time for well, you have a little you know, the

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Speaker 2: sleep is a little harder, I think for you.

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Speaker 3: My problem is those two things are actually exactly at

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Speaker 3: odds with each other. I want three hours a day

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Speaker 3: of activity, and I don't have time to do that

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Speaker 3: and sleep. I'm joking about three hours.

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Speaker 1: That would be no. Well, you have run three hours

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Speaker 1: a day. I mean I've seen it.

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Speaker 3: That's just I have not a day but on a

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Speaker 3: occasional days as CADI training program.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, it's tough.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I one hundred percent agree, though everything in

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Speaker 3: life is easier if you've gotten at least kind of

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Speaker 3: what your body's minimum of sleep is. I think it

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Speaker 3: helps to kind of figure out what that is. I

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Speaker 3: know for you it's like seven point four hours on average, right, yes,

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Speaker 3: And for me, I think it's similar. If I am

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Speaker 3: like at that seven hour mark for too many nights

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Speaker 3: in a row, I'm just like by the fourth or

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Speaker 3: fifth day, like, oh my god, like everything is so hard.

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Speaker 3: And I guess I will also go against like conventional

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Speaker 3: sleep advice and just reality check and say, like, you know,

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Speaker 3: it does help to sometimes get like a ton of sleep.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I know you can't like bank sleep, but

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Speaker 3: sometimes I do feel better if I go those few

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Speaker 3: days in a row with just seven and then have

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Speaker 3: a day of like nine, I can feel really really good.

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Speaker 3: So I know that's not what the experts say, but

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Speaker 3: it tends to work for me.

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Speaker 2: Well, if it can work in your schedule. I mean,

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Speaker 2: that's the problem is for many people. I think it's

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Speaker 2: harder for that to work if they don't have any

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Speaker 2: flexibility on one end.

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Speaker 1: Or the other.

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Speaker 2: And you don't most days, but you can sometimes then Sundays.

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Speaker 3: My kids now sleep reliably until eight a lot of

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Speaker 3: times on weekends, which you know, when they were little

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Speaker 3: that certainly wasn't the case. And I don't usually run

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Speaker 3: that morning, so if I go to bed at ten, man,

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Speaker 3: that's well.

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Speaker 1: And that's the.

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Speaker 2: Choice to decide that you are going to prioritize getting

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Speaker 2: your sleep over the weekend, as opposed to the sort

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Speaker 2: of magical thinking people have of like, oh, I'm, you know,

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Speaker 2: gonna have my leisure late at night and then somehow,

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Speaker 2: also magically, all the sleep.

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Speaker 1: Will get caught up, and that that doesn't necessarily happen.

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Speaker 2: And if you can't, you know if it doesn't work

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Speaker 2: for you to do big chunks of exercise. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I love exercising, Sarah's like clearly mis exercise queen here.

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Speaker 1: But you can do little bits.

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Speaker 2: I mean you go going for a ten minute walk

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Speaker 2: two times a day, and then you know, jumping around

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Speaker 2: at night or something. You can get to thirty minutes

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Speaker 2: pretty easily, even pretty packed schedule.

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Speaker 1: I think you just have to prioritize doing it.

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Speaker 2: As opposed to say, checking email in your breaks, You're

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Speaker 2: probably going to be better off having walked than checked

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Speaker 2: email for an extra ten minutes.

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Speaker 1: You'll be able to get through more of your emails

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Speaker 1: later if you do that.

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Speaker 2: Another one, which we you know it's this is about

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Speaker 2: everything is nuanced, right.

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Speaker 1: So I have a general saying that people are a

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Speaker 1: good use of time.

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Speaker 2: Now we need to balance that with the idea that

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Speaker 2: sometimes we have to say no to things. Right. We

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Speaker 2: can't say yes to everything, and sometimes especially I think

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Speaker 2: women in particular get asked for a lot of extra

442
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:44,560
Speaker 2: uncompensated stuff that we need to be careful about drawing

443
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:49,439
Speaker 2: boundaries around. On the other hand, there's also the reality

444
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:53,920
Speaker 2: that most relationships are going to be built around a yes,

445
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,720
Speaker 2: you know that you say yes to doing something with

446
00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,800
Speaker 2: somebody as a friendship or maybe on a professional front,

447
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 2: that you great to meet with someone and you actually

448
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:03,119
Speaker 2: really hit it off and you come up with good ideas,

449
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,320
Speaker 2: or you know, you do something for somebody early in

450
00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:06,520
Speaker 2: your career and then they turn out to be a

451
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 2: total rock star later and it's like, Wow, that.

452
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,159
Speaker 1: Was good that that happened, right, you know.

453
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,320
Speaker 2: So I think it's it's obviously something we have to

454
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,879
Speaker 2: figure out. But whenever I've felt like meeting someone or

455
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,480
Speaker 2: having a call with someone under that I've has made

456
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:21,879
Speaker 2: it through and I've gotten it on the calendar and

457
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:23,800
Speaker 2: it's maybe doesn't really go anywhere, I'm like, well, you know,

458
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,560
Speaker 2: I could have wasted thirty minutes reading stupid headlights online too,

459
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:30,679
Speaker 2: So and try to be semi at least accessible. I

460
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,280
Speaker 2: guess that's my idea.

461
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,879
Speaker 3: Yes, I feel like I'm currently struggling with feeling like

462
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,000
Speaker 3: requests come at me a lot, But I think that's

463
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,960
Speaker 3: more in the nature of the stage of life I'm

464
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:46,159
Speaker 3: in in my career field. And you're right, I mean,

465
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,919
Speaker 3: there is something to be said for just being like,

466
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 3: if I have the time, I should try to help

467
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 3: the best I can within reasonable limits. And so and

468
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,879
Speaker 3: it's rare that I regret spending time with someone that

469
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:02,119
Speaker 3: I know, like even if it's like you know, something

470
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,080
Speaker 3: for school and getting to know the other parents and

471
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:04,960
Speaker 3: things like that.

472
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 1: Yeah.

473
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, So saying yes when we can, I mean there's

474
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:12,160
Speaker 2: a place for no, for everything, but being yes.

475
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,120
Speaker 1: Strategically as well.

476
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:17,440
Speaker 2: Okay, always having something you could look forward too. This

477
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 2: is a big one. It changes the entire experience of life.

478
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,399
Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of people get to a

479
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:23,760
Speaker 2: certain point in life and realize they need something like

480
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 2: a hobby or like nights out with friends, or just

481
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,200
Speaker 2: something you know in your life that's not necessarily work

482
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,399
Speaker 2: or caring for family members, but something you're genuinely looking

483
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 2: forward to just for its sake. I mean, you schedule

484
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 2: like massages every couple of weeks, right, that's a.

485
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:43,000
Speaker 3: Oh I wish it was ever every month, like every

486
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:45,760
Speaker 3: other month, every other month. I love like this is

487
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:47,600
Speaker 3: I feel like my when I look at that like

488
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,120
Speaker 3: monthly calendar spread, I want to see like at least

489
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,720
Speaker 3: two things that I am like psyched about, and maybe

490
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:54,679
Speaker 3: one of them will be like a small trip our

491
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,080
Speaker 3: family goes away for a weekend and one of them

492
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:00,280
Speaker 3: is a massage or a friend date or a that

493
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:03,119
Speaker 3: I'm running, like something that's like really really fun for me.

494
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:05,840
Speaker 3: And I feel like that tends to be like the

495
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:07,440
Speaker 3: view and a month is enough time to like plan

496
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:08,919
Speaker 3: it if you're looking at the next month to like

497
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:12,520
Speaker 3: plan for stuff like that. I don't necessarily feel like

498
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,840
Speaker 3: I can fit in something fun and exciting every single day.

499
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:18,159
Speaker 3: I mean, although little adventures, I know, little adventures, but

500
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,159
Speaker 3: on the kind of month scale, I want to have

501
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,360
Speaker 3: some great stuff to look forward to. And it does

502
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 3: keep you going. I mean it's like, why are we

503
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:26,000
Speaker 3: doing this?

504
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:27,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's life for what.

505
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,680
Speaker 2: It's like for I know, I know I totally feel

506
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,199
Speaker 2: this way too. It's just like if I know I

507
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,920
Speaker 2: have a cool trip coming up, suddenly the month feels

508
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 2: entirely different than if I'm just oh, it feels like

509
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 2: such a slog, like there's nothing good going. But the

510
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 2: thing is, this is just like they're not sprinkled from heaven,

511
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 2: these things that are like you know that you're looking

512
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 2: forward to.

513
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:46,920
Speaker 1: It's not like some people have lives where there's stuff

514
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:47,919
Speaker 1: that they are always.

515
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 2: Looking forward to and somewhere they don't I mean, I

516
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 2: understand that there's certain structural differences in people's lives too,

517
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:56,200
Speaker 2: but like, we all have the power to reach out

518
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,760
Speaker 2: to a friend that you like seeing and schedule two

519
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 2: things so if one gets canceled, at.

520
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 1: Least the other is still there.

521
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 2: Or think about what you genuinely enjoy and figure out

522
00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:09,120
Speaker 2: what logistics would need to happen for you to do

523
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,440
Speaker 2: that one day in the next you know, month or two,

524
00:23:12,359 --> 00:23:14,920
Speaker 2: and then it, Yeah, life feels entirely different.

525
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 3: It can even be something as simple as like this

526
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,840
Speaker 3: TV show that I've been waiting for the new season

527
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,640
Speaker 3: to come out is like this date, and I put

528
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:24,320
Speaker 3: it on my calendar, and maybe like I have a

529
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:25,879
Speaker 3: friend that likes to too, and we text you. Like,

530
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,880
Speaker 3: these things don't need to be a plane flight somewhere,

531
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 3: but yeah, it can still bring you joy to see.

532
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, next Thursday night, like new season of whatever

533
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:34,400
Speaker 3: is starting.

534
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:36,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're gonna text each other about it. It's gonna

535
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,399
Speaker 1: be awesome. Yeay, yay yay.

536
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:44,200
Speaker 2: So with that one of the ways we can make

537
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:46,920
Speaker 2: time for thinking about what we would enjoy and putting

538
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 2: it on the calendar.

539
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,159
Speaker 1: I always am a big fan of Friday planning.

540
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 2: But whether you plan on Fridays or not, you should

541
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 2: plan your life at least in weeks. A week is

542
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 2: a long enough time to be holistic, right, so you

543
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:02,199
Speaker 2: don't wind up in artificial crunches day to day. But

544
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,760
Speaker 2: it's also short enough that you have a very good

545
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,399
Speaker 2: sense of what's going to happen. Like the far future

546
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 2: may be unknowable, but next week is like gonna happen

547
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,000
Speaker 2: like most likely, and the contours of the stuff you've

548
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 2: planned is also most likely going to happen. So with

549
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 2: that in mind, as you are doing this, figure out

550
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,119
Speaker 2: what's important for you professionally, of course, but I'm guessing

551
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 2: many people already do that. I think it's really helpful

552
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 2: to also give yourself two other categories of things that

553
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:33,479
Speaker 2: are most important for you in next week, relationships and self.

554
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 2: So the three categories career relationships, Self, what would make

555
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 2: it a good week for you in terms of your

556
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:43,399
Speaker 2: relationships with family and friends, What would make it a

557
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:46,159
Speaker 2: good week for you in terms of doing stuff that

558
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 2: you particularly find meaningful or enjoyable, and making sure you

559
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:53,280
Speaker 2: have some of that happening is again going to make

560
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 2: life feel a lot more balanced. I think in a

561
00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:58,160
Speaker 2: way that's not just about like, oh am, I only

562
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 2: working X number of hours per week, right, that's true.

563
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:03,680
Speaker 2: Balance is when you feel like there are good things

564
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 2: in all spheres of life.

565
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:05,919
Speaker 1: Yeah.

566
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,639
Speaker 3: I love that my categories are like, slightly different but

567
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:11,840
Speaker 3: pretty much the same. I do like self, family, which

568
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 3: can encompass friends and then work, so basically the same.

569
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

570
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 2: I mean they weren't random categories. They're the ones that

571
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,119
Speaker 2: seem like to happen most often, you know, with people

572
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 2: like if they're thinking about it. So yeah, yeah, that's

573
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:27,800
Speaker 2: it speaking of family. Another you know, this is one

574
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 2: that's dear to our hearts here at best of both

575
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 2: worlds as a time management thing, because I get blogs

576
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,679
Speaker 2: and questions and stuff from people all the time about this.

577
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:40,480
Speaker 2: But limiting your use of childcare is not a sign

578
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 2: that you are winning at time management. It often results

579
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:49,399
Speaker 2: in feeling frazzled and behind. And we know that there

580
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:52,919
Speaker 2: are all sorts of narratives out there about paid childcare

581
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:54,560
Speaker 2: and how it's I don't know, a sign that you're

582
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:58,119
Speaker 2: like failing or something. There's one influencer I follow on

583
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 2: Instagram that you know, they get thousands of comments on

584
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 2: posts and somebody you know, they're expecting like some umptieth

585
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,239
Speaker 2: child or whatever, and somebody asks, like, you know, why

586
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 2: don't you talk about like your childcare, your nanny or whatever,

587
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:09,919
Speaker 2: like you could talk about that.

588
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:11,240
Speaker 1: Maybe's somebody who's read me.

589
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:14,399
Speaker 2: I don't know, And both she and her husband like

590
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 2: responded almost instantly like, well, we don't have a nanny,

591
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:18,879
Speaker 2: that's why we don't talk about it. And I was

592
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,080
Speaker 2: like thousands of comments, why why that?

593
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 1: Like why?

594
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,560
Speaker 2: And I think it's because there is such this narrative

595
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:30,359
Speaker 2: that like if you have childcareer, suddenly you're not doing

596
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:30,680
Speaker 2: it right.

597
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 1: But how is that even possible? Like I don't know.

598
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,399
Speaker 2: Even people who are not in the paid work for

599
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 2: us will ask like a relative to watch their kids

600
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:43,120
Speaker 2: while they go to the doctor or while they might

601
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 2: occasionally visit another relative in the hospital or something.

602
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 1: You know, it's like you ask other people to watch

603
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 1: your kids.

604
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 2: Like the fact that you are paying somebody who is

605
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 2: responsible is not a sign that you fail. Is maybe

606
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:57,000
Speaker 2: a sign that you don't have ready, willing and available

607
00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 2: other care around to do that. I mean, it's just

608
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:03,920
Speaker 2: or you know that they have their limits as well. Anyway,

609
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 2: point view, that's a soapbox here.

610
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 3: I'm just thinking about the influencer lifestyle, and if you're

611
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 3: a successful influencer, you're like filming videos all day long,

612
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 3: and if you have ten children and you don't have

613
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:19,119
Speaker 3: any childcare, I actually don't undersdand.

614
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:20,960
Speaker 2: How that would water We're going back to, like, I mean,

615
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:22,959
Speaker 2: this is not the same influencer, but the lady who

616
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,720
Speaker 2: was at the water park, who was pregnant with like

617
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,440
Speaker 2: her seventh kid or something said in my heart was full.

618
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 2: After the experience, I'm like, how do you keep like

619
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 2: three kids from drowning on your own?

620
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:32,719
Speaker 1: Like I don't believe like your two year old as

621
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 1: water safe.

622
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 2: You know, there had to be other people around, of course,

623
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 2: Like you're pregnant, you're running to the bathroom every ten minutes,

624
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:40,800
Speaker 2: Like you can't leave seven kids in the water park.

625
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,399
Speaker 1: I don't even know. I only have three kids and

626
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:44,720
Speaker 1: I lost a kid at the water park.

627
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:47,440
Speaker 2: So there are other people around. And maybe it's that

628
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 2: they're they're calling them their business assistant, but they watch

629
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 2: the kids. Because that says a lot about our idea

630
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:59,320
Speaker 2: of female empowerment, Like it's fine to, you know, have employees, but.

631
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:00,720
Speaker 1: God forbid, they watch your kids.

632
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 2: Anyway, my point being here that it's not a sign

633
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:11,680
Speaker 2: that you're winning at time management, and stop thinking it is.

634
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, we understand like that sometimes there are

635
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 3: like financial or circumstantial barriers to having full time care.

636
00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 3: So this is not to say you're stupid if you don't,

637
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:24,159
Speaker 3: because no, no, you know, but there are people that

638
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 3: could have, perhaps that it wouldn't actually make much of

639
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 3: a difference financially or logistically, that have decided not to

640
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:35,440
Speaker 3: for those types of reasons. And I mean, if you're

641
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 3: enjoying your life, great, but you don't get a prize.

642
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, or and like cobbling stuff to gather is often

643
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 2: to result in more mental load that will keep you

644
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 2: from focusing at your job in a way that maybe

645
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 2: just figuring out that you are going to do the

646
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 2: high quality care full time and then that will enable

647
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 2: you to focus and maybe hopefully improve your finances over time.

648
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 2: And certainly people shouldn't feel guilty about, you know, like

649
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:04,960
Speaker 2: using full time daycare. I mean, that's not a sign

650
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,720
Speaker 2: that you're a terrible parent, even though people put stuff

651
00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 2: out And I remember reading a version of a book

652
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 2: that shall go nameless, but talking about how no parent

653
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 2: ever wanted to put their kid in daycare.

654
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 1: I'm like, I did, Like, who are you? Like? Who

655
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 1: is this? That was great?

656
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 2: Toddler daycare is the most amazing thing in the world. Now,

657
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 2: if they, you know, can figure out how to stop

658
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 2: people from getting respiratory viruses, that's a different matter. But anyway, Yeah, okay,

659
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 2: so stingy use bad for all parties. Plan for your

660
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 2: future self. Think about your future self. However, again, this

661
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 2: is another one that is nuanced. Your future self will

662
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 2: not be incompetent, so you don't have to spend your

663
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 2: entire life thinking about what you know.

664
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:49,719
Speaker 1: You're planning for the future.

665
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 2: You don't have to spend your entire weekend prepping for

666
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 2: the upcoming week, for instance. So Sarah, you have a

667
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 2: limited set of things you will do for your future self.

668
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:02,360
Speaker 3: You know what future self is incompat my morning pre

669
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 3: coffee self is.

670
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 1: Totally she is truly incompetent. That's true for all of us.

671
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 3: So for her, I always set up the coffee because

672
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:11,680
Speaker 3: it's ready and then she's so happy.

673
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 1: So yeah, lunches.

674
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,479
Speaker 3: Lunch prep we usually do do the day before because

675
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 3: my kids are fairly in calls over competent in the morning,

676
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 3: and I need all my energy to get them out

677
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 3: the door rather than also juggling lunch stuff.

678
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 1: And as you know, we're this is after the back

679
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 1: to school episode.

680
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 3: We're on a fairly tight timeline. We have to get

681
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,640
Speaker 3: everybody out the door and then fun. Like we talked

682
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 3: about those things to look forward to, like that I

683
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 3: get excited about on the calendar, like someone has to

684
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 3: make those happen, And so that's something I enjoy doing

685
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,239
Speaker 3: for my future self being like oh we should all

686
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 3: see this show or.

687
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 1: Go out to this restaurant or whatever it is.

688
00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you know, you're never going to feel

689
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 2: like doing something. I mean, so it's not like if

690
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 2: you do it now it's massive time savings for future

691
00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 2: I don't know, you're not often saving time it around.

692
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 2: So the question is is now a good time or

693
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,960
Speaker 2: are you giving something up by doing it now versus

694
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 2: doing it else time. I mean I find that like, actually,

695
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 2: if I were making lunches, doing it when I'm already

696
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 2: in the kitchen for breakfast would be fine because you

697
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 2: can like throw something together while something else is on

698
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 2: the stove, versus like taking leisure time when the kids

699
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 2: are in bed. The night before to do it, so,

700
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 2: but your mileage mayvery Again, just please don't spend your

701
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 2: entire weekend making food for the week.

702
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:31,960
Speaker 1: That makes me sad.

703
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 2: Create a weekend template because weekends are real time too,

704
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 2: and you should think at least a little bit through

705
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 2: what you want your weekend to look like by Wednesday

706
00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:46,959
Speaker 2: or Thursday. And Sarah, you use even a whiteboard for

707
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 2: this product.

708
00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 3: Whole week is on a whiteboard, and so Saturday and

709
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 3: Sunday are on there. So thank you Aaron Condron for

710
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 3: including Saturday and Sunday, because actually sometimes those sorts of

711
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 3: things don't like they treat it like there's five days

712
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 3: and then like what's there's like two.

713
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 2: Tiny boxes and the planner like what these are like

714
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:04,400
Speaker 2: not real days or Saturdays?

715
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 1: They are the same box as if these are the

716
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 1: same days. I'm like, what agree is this? I don't

717
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:12,560
Speaker 1: I don't understand. I don't know Saturday.

718
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 3: Interestingly, there's a planner company that I've done reviews on

719
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,280
Speaker 3: that had a stacked and they got so much feedback

720
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 3: that this year they came out with a they call

721
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 3: it the unstacked version. We're Saturday and Sunday get their

722
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 3: own full sized columns. So yes, I totally agree. We

723
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 3: just put stuff on the whiteboard. That's happening. I used

724
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 3: to send an email, Now you send an email. Maybe

725
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:33,000
Speaker 3: I should go back to the email, like there were

726
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 3: just so many moving parts. I'd be like, send it

727
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 3: to my husband. Now we just kind of have it

728
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 3: on the whiteboard, and I feel like things repeat enough

729
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:43,040
Speaker 3: that we generally know, and then anything that deviates from

730
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 3: our normal is on the whiteboard.

731
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:48,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I've I'm sending the email and now I'm

732
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 2: starting to add the older kids to the email for

733
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 2: the weekend, just so they have an idea of what's upcoming.

734
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 2: I mean, I can talk to the little kids or

735
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 2: they kind of take life as it comes. But especially

736
00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:00,360
Speaker 2: if the older ones are thinking about doing stuff with friends,

737
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 2: I mean tell them like, this is the time that's available.

738
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 2: You know, it would be great during this window. This

739
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 2: other window is like not great, so please not then.

740
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:13,840
Speaker 3: But if they ever write you back and say like, okay, great,

741
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:16,560
Speaker 3: I'll need a ride to like Jen's house at three o'clock.

742
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:17,960
Speaker 1: It's it's certain we've had some of that.

743
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:20,479
Speaker 2: Or just like you know, if I suggest two different

744
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 2: activities for a window of time, I will get votes

745
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 2: back from uh or sometimes they're a little bit more sullen,

746
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:32,320
Speaker 2: like not that, but it's a work in progress.

747
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 1: I love that.

748
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 2: But yeah, no, by the way, sort of air you know,

749
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 2: weekend cruise director here. But you know, there are a

750
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 2: lot of moving parts, and people have lots of different activities,

751
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 2: and you'll generally do the stuff that you have to do.

752
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 2: But I think if you want to personally have fun

753
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 2: amid like five kids doing multiple different activities, then it's

754
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:51,840
Speaker 2: kind of got to be thought through ahead of time,

755
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 2: because otherwise you won't. And finally, the last one we

756
00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 2: want to talk about is to embrace your golden hours.

757
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 2: This is a little phrase I have started using to

758
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:09,320
Speaker 2: describe the Monday to Thursday post work pre bed hours,

759
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 2: and I think for many of us they are some

760
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,760
Speaker 2: of the hardest hours to use well in our entire

761
00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:19,840
Speaker 2: weeks because you're tired. You are kind of getting everyone

762
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:22,920
Speaker 2: through to the end of the day. Many people are

763
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,879
Speaker 2: like counting the hours to bedtime at that point, and

764
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 2: you know, at the after the kids have gone to bed,

765
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 2: you're just sort of exhausted, so you do whatever kind

766
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:31,280
Speaker 2: of cutter around.

767
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:33,440
Speaker 1: But it's not no time.

768
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 2: I mean if you were done with work at like

769
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 2: five thirty and went to bed at ten thirty. That's

770
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,880
Speaker 2: five hours four nights so week. That's twenty hours of

771
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,160
Speaker 2: your week. It's like the equivalent of a part time job.

772
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:46,320
Speaker 2: I mean, so having no idea or no intentions of

773
00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:48,279
Speaker 2: what one wants to do at this time seems like

774
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 2: kind of a waste or at least, you know, not

775
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 2: necessarily how we might wish to live our lives, especially

776
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 2: if we don't want to be wishing time away, given

777
00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:03,839
Speaker 2: how precious time ultimately is. So Sarah Taala, like you,

778
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,359
Speaker 2: you're not a huge fan of the golden hours, well the.

779
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,880
Speaker 3: Idea, because you know, when I reflect on it, that

780
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,200
Speaker 3: is probably the peace of my life I'm like least

781
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 3: satisfied with. So I love that it's getting attention. I

782
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:19,480
Speaker 3: just personally don't like see a lot of easy routes around.

783
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 3: What makes it hard, And part of what makes it

784
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 3: hard is I get up very early, so like I

785
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:26,800
Speaker 3: go to bed right after the kids, and by seven

786
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,399
Speaker 3: thirty eight, I'm like, I hate everything, Like.

787
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,239
Speaker 1: I just I want no stimulation.

788
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:33,080
Speaker 3: But I also am in a phase of life where

789
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,840
Speaker 3: my kids have activities almost every single night of the

790
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 3: pretty much every single night of the week during those

791
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 3: golden hours, and usually I'm doing at least one drive

792
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 3: and so like it's yeah, I mean, I guess part

793
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:46,880
Speaker 3: of it would be strategically thinking about when I can

794
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 3: get breaks from that. And also people pointed out, like

795
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 3: for soccer, like hey, you could somehow use some of

796
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:54,359
Speaker 3: that time as like you time and figure out if

797
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,919
Speaker 3: you could take a walk during soccer practice or read

798
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,359
Speaker 3: a book or you know, things like that, And it's

799
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:00,439
Speaker 3: worth thinking through.

800
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 1: Absolutely. So I'm excited this time is going to.

801
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,880
Speaker 3: Get more attention from you perhaps in the future, but

802
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:10,840
Speaker 3: I definitely think it's a challenging one for me personally.

803
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:12,200
Speaker 1: Well, it's challenging for everyone.

804
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:14,759
Speaker 2: I mean, that's why I think it needs this rebrand

805
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 2: as opposed to being like the Witching Hour or the

806
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:20,680
Speaker 2: second shift or some other you know, negative version of it.

807
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 1: I think for me, I mean, you.

808
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,400
Speaker 2: Know, I understand like when you have like little little kids,

809
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:27,080
Speaker 2: it's so hard, but especially as my kids get older,

810
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,600
Speaker 2: I'm trying to, you know, plot through is there something

811
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 2: I can be do that's enjoyable in the course of

812
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 2: the evening, And often there is some discretionary time, there's

813
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 2: not a ton, But it's like, do I have a

814
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,560
Speaker 2: book I want to read? And if I do, then

815
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:44,319
Speaker 2: can I get myself into my room shortly after ten?

816
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:46,399
Speaker 2: Like can I be done with my kid chats by

817
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 2: like ten ten or whatever? Ten starter earlier? So I'm

818
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,360
Speaker 2: done at ten and then you know, ten to eleven,

819
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:54,040
Speaker 2: I can basically sit there and read this book that's

820
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:59,319
Speaker 2: I'm really enjoying. Can I think about if there is

821
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 2: open time in the evening, like do our toad time

822
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 2: time outside after dinner? Or if I am at a

823
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,800
Speaker 2: kid's activity, is there something I'd want to do there

824
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 2: that would be enjoyable for me? You know, just putting

825
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:13,000
Speaker 2: a little bit more source of pleasure into those hours.

826
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 1: I like it. I'm excited for more to come perhaps

827
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:17,160
Speaker 1: on that to.

828
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,920
Speaker 2: Come to turn that, yes exactly, let us know how

829
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 2: do you how do you want to improve your golden hours?

830
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 2: And then Sarah, you just had a few you wanted

831
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 2: to throw in extra.

832
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:28,960
Speaker 1: I'll do two quick ones.

833
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 3: One is that I just think most people generally blanket statement,

834
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 3: do not give themselves time to plan because they're so

835
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,799
Speaker 3: eager to rush into what they're doing. They feel hary,

836
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,440
Speaker 3: they feel behind, and then it like backfires because if

837
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:44,359
Speaker 3: they had taken the time to plan, then maybe they

838
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 3: would have been less rushed in the first place. So

839
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 3: usually when I convince people to try it, they're like, oh,

840
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 3: that really really helps. So give yourself time and permission.

841
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,240
Speaker 1: Almost too relaxed, give.

842
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 3: Yourself time and permission to spend time planning. And my

843
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 3: other one is to make sure you have one calendar

844
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 3: somewhere that is just like your ultimate reference and has

845
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 3: everything relevant to you on it, because I've run into

846
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 3: people who have, like I call.

847
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 1: It one source of truth.

848
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:15,200
Speaker 3: I mean that sometimes people will have like, oh, their

849
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,480
Speaker 3: kids soccer calendar on here, but I use Google Calendar,

850
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:19,880
Speaker 3: but I have a paper planner for work, and like, okay,

851
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 3: like all those are great, but like there needs to

852
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 3: be one where it just has everything. Whether that's Google

853
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 3: calendar with different overlays where you can see everything, or

854
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:30,440
Speaker 3: on paper, like there are so many different ways to

855
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:34,279
Speaker 3: do this, but to have one reliable source that you

856
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:37,000
Speaker 3: keep updated is incredibly helpful because it's hard to plan

857
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 3: going forward when you don't actually know what's like on

858
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 3: your docket to begin with.

859
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:43,319
Speaker 1: Those are wow, my favorites, no.

860
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:45,000
Speaker 2: And and the people come up with all sorts of

861
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:46,920
Speaker 2: reasons why they can't do that. Of like, well, I

862
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:49,960
Speaker 2: don't want my colleagues to see that I'm whatever, have

863
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 2: some embarrassing medical condition that you're like getting.

864
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:54,960
Speaker 1: Treated for or something. I don't know what it is,

865
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,839
Speaker 1: but like I get it.

866
00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:00,400
Speaker 2: But there are ways to do it, right, So stop

867
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 2: making excuses for why you can't have one source of

868
00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 2: truth and instead look at a way that you could

869
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 2: so that you don't miss things, drop balls, you know,

870
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:12,520
Speaker 2: or make just like stupid work life things that wouldn't

871
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:14,359
Speaker 2: have happened if you'd thought about it right that, Like,

872
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:17,520
Speaker 2: you have control over your time. Somebody asks to meet

873
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:19,479
Speaker 2: You're like four o'clock Wednesday, and then you're like, wait,

874
00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:23,240
Speaker 2: have this huge thing in my family at four o'clock Wednesday,

875
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 2: which again I could have gone to, but I like

876
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:27,640
Speaker 2: now have a crisis that I've got to solve.

877
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:30,319
Speaker 1: So it's better to have one source of.

878
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 3: Truth, all right, I'll save the rest for you know,

879
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:35,160
Speaker 3: Time management Tips Part two.

880
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. I was talking too much. No, we

881
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:40,319
Speaker 1: were good, We were good.

882
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:41,880
Speaker 3: We just have we have even more to say on

883
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:44,839
Speaker 3: this reducts in January or something.

884
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,080
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly exactly all right.

885
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 2: So question This came from a listener who wrote to

886
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:56,160
Speaker 2: Sarah with a planning adjacent question about timing to start

887
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 2: a family. She enjoyed the recent episode we had about

888
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:01,759
Speaker 2: expanding your family. That's the one we did about having

889
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:04,759
Speaker 2: three kids or more. What was curious about your thoughts

890
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 2: on deciding when to begin having kids. I know timing

891
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:10,719
Speaker 2: does not work for everyone, but it's tough to always,

892
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:12,120
Speaker 2: you know, if you're always thinking, well, once I get

893
00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:13,879
Speaker 2: the next promotion, then I start my family, or once

894
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:15,879
Speaker 2: I've saved x y z amount, or once we get

895
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 2: our fill of travel with just the two of us.

896
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:19,640
Speaker 1: So curious your thoughts about this.

897
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:23,720
Speaker 2: So, Sarah, can you plan the timing of your starting

898
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:24,280
Speaker 2: your family?

899
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 3: I mean, you can decide when you want to start

900
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,920
Speaker 3: your family, but I guess I would just caution anybody

901
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:36,640
Speaker 3: to wait for some very specific time or milestone, like

902
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:40,279
Speaker 3: there's probably not once you've achieved x y Z goal,

903
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 3: then you're going to think of like ABC goal, and

904
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:46,000
Speaker 3: like there's not necessarily going to be an obvious milestone.

905
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 3: I mean, there are maybe some exceptions to this, like

906
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 3: surgical residency training is notoriously brutal, but at the same time,

907
00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:55,360
Speaker 3: it's really long, so and maternity policies have improved, So

908
00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 3: even something like that, like you know, you weigh the

909
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,920
Speaker 3: pros and cons, but there's not no necessarily a right answer,

910
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,120
Speaker 3: So I guess I would just embrace the fact that.

911
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 1: There is no perfect time.

912
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:08,240
Speaker 3: So if there's like a reasonable time and you're excited

913
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:11,280
Speaker 3: about having kids, you might as well start moving forward

914
00:41:11,360 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 3: with it. Fertility is never guaranteed at any point, and

915
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 3: I don't like the kind of myths that, like, you know,

916
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:20,880
Speaker 3: once you turn thirty five, you're like not gonna have

917
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:22,640
Speaker 3: any more babies, Like that's you know, we both had

918
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 3: lots of babies after that time frame. But statistically, like

919
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:28,359
Speaker 3: a forty two year old is going to have more

920
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:31,239
Speaker 3: trouble getting pregnant than a twenty seven year old on average.

921
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:36,720
Speaker 3: So keep that in mind to some healthy and reasonable extent,

922
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 3: and remember that time is fungible, so if you do

923
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 3: have kids earlier, then you have like a longer healthy

924
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 3: period later. Like I can think of some people who

925
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 3: have teenagers who are younger than I am, and they're

926
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:49,280
Speaker 3: going to have an empty nest like before they're fifty,

927
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 3: and like, you know, there's a lot of vitality, Like

928
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:53,839
Speaker 3: you can travel the world when you're fifty, you can

929
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:58,359
Speaker 3: climb mountains when you're fifty. So it's not like, oh, well,

930
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 3: we're adventurous people, so we should wait to kids. Like

931
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 3: on the contrary, maybe you have kids earlier and then

932
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 3: you'll have more like kid free adventurous time. On the

933
00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:08,400
Speaker 3: back end, Also, big families take time to make, so

934
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,160
Speaker 3: you know, keep that time frame in mind as well.

935
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 2: Usually yeah, yeah, no, I think if you're writing this

936
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 2: in because you're excited about having kids, so now is

937
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 2: a good time, right, I mean I think so, yeah,

938
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 2: there's never never a perfect time. If you want more

939
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 2: than one kid, two kids, probably starting earlier, we'll give

940
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:30,920
Speaker 2: you more space to do that without thinking that you

941
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:33,279
Speaker 2: have to have them right on top of each other.

942
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:35,560
Speaker 2: If that's something that would be more challenging for you

943
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 2: or your body or anything else.

944
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:39,600
Speaker 1: So yeah, go for it.

945
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:43,200
Speaker 3: And I don't think there's any financial specific milestone you

946
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:45,319
Speaker 3: need to meet either, because you know, the nice thing

947
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:47,600
Speaker 3: about kids is like they don't grow that fast and

948
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 3: they don't need that much in the beginning. I guess

949
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:52,080
Speaker 3: the only thing is to think about your as we've

950
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:55,600
Speaker 3: preached before, your childcare plan should be like the first

951
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 3: thing you think of more than any other logistical details.

952
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 3: So I mean, if you can think of some way

953
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:05,319
Speaker 3: that you could handle childcare, then you're ready go.

954
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 2: For you, or at least you know there's at least

955
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 2: one stable job between the two of you, right right,

956
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:12,600
Speaker 2: right right, or or you can combine to have a

957
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,279
Speaker 2: stable job, like each of you has half of a

958
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:14,959
Speaker 2: stable job.

959
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:15,920
Speaker 1: Like maybe that works too.

960
00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:19,600
Speaker 2: I don't know, Yeah, it's probably fine. Yeah, all right, well,

961
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:20,720
Speaker 2: Love of the Week.

962
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:23,360
Speaker 1: I guess we got to do that. Huh. Now we

963
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:24,399
Speaker 1: both have to think about it.

964
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:25,600
Speaker 3: Well.

965
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:28,359
Speaker 2: I will say these time tracking challenges that I do

966
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:32,280
Speaker 2: are definitely Love of the weeks for me because often

967
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:35,359
Speaker 2: we get like thousands of people signing up for them

968
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:39,040
Speaker 2: at this point, and it's just so cool to think

969
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 2: of thousands of people tracking through their time and thinking

970
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:46,240
Speaker 2: about where the time is going and recording it and

971
00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 2: being accountable for this and getting insights into their time.

972
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 2: And I've certainly gotten a lot of interesting insight from it.

973
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:55,799
Speaker 2: When I ran this time challenge last January, actually had

974
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 2: a research or do some work on it, and it

975
00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:01,600
Speaker 2: turns out that people who track their time for a

976
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:05,760
Speaker 2: week feel better about their time than people who don't,

977
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,880
Speaker 2: Like they feel more satisfied with their time. And you know,

978
00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:11,759
Speaker 2: maybe that's because you know, if you stick with something

979
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 2: for the week, you're the kind of the person who's

980
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:16,880
Speaker 2: in charge of things, Like you're with it right, You've

981
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:19,840
Speaker 2: got certain sticktuitiveness and planning and all that stuff that

982
00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 2: maybe people who couldn't stick with it for a week

983
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:24,160
Speaker 2: didn't have. But on the other hand, the people who

984
00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 2: stuck with it for a week had higher scores at

985
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 2: the beginning and time satisfaction than everyone else, and their

986
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:30,600
Speaker 2: time satisfaction score still rose over the course of the

987
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:34,080
Speaker 2: week as they track their time. I mean for two reasons.

988
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 2: I mean, one, they saw that they could course correct

989
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:40,920
Speaker 2: if something was wrong, like instead of spending three hours

990
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 2: on Twitter because you're bored, You're like, I don't want

991
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:45,279
Speaker 2: to write that down, and so you do something more

992
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 2: fun instead, and then life is better. But it's also

993
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:50,000
Speaker 2: that people often see that they are spending their time

994
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 2: in really cool ways. There's usually something to celebrate, and

995
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 2: that's great.

996
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:56,680
Speaker 3: Well, I will go kind of low tech because we

997
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 3: did mention it briefly, but I love the idea of

998
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:02,239
Speaker 3: having like a little five year journal. There are so

999
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:05,359
Speaker 3: many different ones out there, but five years is enough

1000
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 3: time to see a lot of things change, and it's

1001
00:45:07,560 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 3: so usually most of them don't have a ton of

1002
00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:10,839
Speaker 3: space for writing, so it could be a quick little

1003
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 3: ritual where you just write down a highlight and then

1004
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 3: you can at a glance see what life was like

1005
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:16,319
Speaker 3: on that day for five years. So I have the

1006
00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:19,680
Speaker 3: one from hobani Sheet, which as this episode's out, you know,

1007
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:22,920
Speaker 3: Hobanichi season basically begins September first, so you know you

1008
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:24,960
Speaker 3: can get your order in. You can start your five

1009
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 3: year journal in twenty twenty four if you'd like. And yeah,

1010
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:30,120
Speaker 3: it does bring me joy.

1011
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 1: I like it. Yeah, awesome.

1012
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,240
Speaker 2: Well, we've been talking some of our favorite time management

1013
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:37,960
Speaker 2: strategies that we've used that other people use to good effect.

1014
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 2: We will be back next week with more on making

1015
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:41,720
Speaker 2: work and life fit together.

1016
00:45:43,760 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.

1017
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 3: You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com

1018
00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:51,719
Speaker 3: or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you.

1019
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:55,320
Speaker 2: Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.

1020
00:45:55,800 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 1: This has been the best of both Worlds podcasts. Please

1021
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:01,520
Speaker 1: join us next time for more. I am making work

1022
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:02,880
Speaker 1: and life work together.