1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 1: Don't judge today's progress by yesterday's definition of success. What 2 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:11,080 Speaker 1: mattered then might not matter now. Don't hold yourself hostage 3 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: to the dreams of your younger self. It's okay if 4 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,959 Speaker 1: you've outgrown them. Don't compare today's version of you to 5 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:25,200 Speaker 1: an old standard that no longer fits. Yesterday's goals were 6 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:29,240 Speaker 1: right for who you were, then today's goals are right 7 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 1: for who you are right now. The number one health 8 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: and wellness podcast, Jay Setty, Jay Sheetty. Hey, everyone, welcome 9 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: back to On Purpose. It's your host, Jay Shetty. And 10 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:47,280 Speaker 1: whether you're cooking, whether you're cleaning, whether you're rushing off 11 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,200 Speaker 1: to work, whether you're at the gym, whether you're walking 12 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:52,040 Speaker 1: your dog. I'm so grateful that you're joining me. Thank 13 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,720 Speaker 1: you for letting me into your life and your ears. 14 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: I don't take your time for granted, and I want 15 00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: to make this the best thirty minutes to shift your mindset. 16 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,720 Speaker 1: Thanks for investing this time and let's go get it. So. 17 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:09,160 Speaker 1: If you've been feeling stuck, if you're feeling late, if 18 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:13,360 Speaker 1: you're feeling behind, this episode is for you. Maybe you're 19 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,399 Speaker 1: seeing all your friends get married right now and you're 20 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: thinking I don't even know who I'm gonna be with. 21 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,760 Speaker 1: Maybe all your friends are getting promoted or moving into 22 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 1: a nicer apartment, and you're thinking, I'm still living at home. 23 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,039 Speaker 1: Maybe some of you are looking around you and just 24 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:30,640 Speaker 1: thinking everyone seems to be doing better, Everyone seems happier, 25 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: everyone seems like they have more going on, and I'm 26 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 1: feeling bored. If you felt any of those things, I 27 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: want you to know that what you're thinking and feeling 28 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 1: right now is actually the launch pad to your best self, 29 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:51,000 Speaker 1: not a dead end. See here's the reality. Our targets 30 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 1: haven't changed, they just feel more unattainable than ever. We 31 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 1: grew up in a world that was all about going 32 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 1: to college, getting a good degree, getting a good job, 33 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,080 Speaker 1: getting married, and all these things had to happen by 34 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,880 Speaker 1: a certain age, then having kids by a certain age, 35 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:09,240 Speaker 1: promoted by a certain age, And it almost feels like 36 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,480 Speaker 1: we're still living by those metrics, but in a world 37 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 1: that is drastically change, in a world that is actually 38 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:22,559 Speaker 1: processing itself completely differently. Industries have changed, apps have been invented, 39 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 1: There is so much happening with AI and technology, but 40 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:30,240 Speaker 1: we're still living by the same metrics of success. What 41 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 1: I want to address today is talk about the emotional 42 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,920 Speaker 1: response and the thought in your head and the feelings 43 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 1: that you're having, and talk to you about the reset, 44 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:44,079 Speaker 1: the data, and the reflective approach to what's really happening 45 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,560 Speaker 1: in our lives. So the first thought that a lot 46 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 1: of us are having right now, and maybe you've had 47 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 1: this one as well, is I am behind everyone. I'm behind, 48 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 1: I've been left behind. Everyone's ahead of me. I don't 49 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:03,360 Speaker 1: know what to do. Sociologists call this the idea of 50 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 1: a social clock milestones like marriage, kids, or career by 51 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 1: a certain age. But studies show that people who deviate 52 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:18,400 Speaker 1: from the social clock often report equal or greater life satisfaction. 53 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,800 Speaker 1: So we think, if I stay on track, I'll be happier, 54 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:26,400 Speaker 1: But the truth is those who deviate are either equally 55 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 1: as happy or potentially even more happy. There's no late, 56 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:35,720 Speaker 1: there's only your time. The social clock is the unspoken 57 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 1: timeline society sets for us. Graduate by your early twenties, 58 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 1: marry by your late twenties, kids by thirty, house by 59 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:47,600 Speaker 1: thirty five, career peak by forty, et cetera, et cetera, 60 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:51,080 Speaker 1: et cetera. But what research has found is that they 61 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 1: studied adults who are on time following the clock and 62 00:03:56,120 --> 00:04:01,400 Speaker 1: those who were off time, later or earlier than expected milestones. 63 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 1: The result, people who felt comfortable with their own timing, 64 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 1: even if it deviated, reported equal or greater life satisfaction 65 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:17,200 Speaker 1: compared to those who rigidly followed the clock. I really 66 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: want you to digest this. I really want you to 67 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:23,479 Speaker 1: inhale and breed this in. Those who deviate from the 68 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 1: social clock are equally as happy, if not more happy. 69 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 1: If you're not married yet and you think you should be, 70 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,719 Speaker 1: if you haven't got promoted yet and you think you 71 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:36,160 Speaker 1: should be, if you haven't had kids yet and you 72 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:40,600 Speaker 1: think you should have, that doesn't steal your chance at 73 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 1: a happy, joyful, wonderful life. That's just not how it works. 74 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:50,920 Speaker 1: The key factor wasn't when milestones happened, but how much 75 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 1: control and meaning people felt over their lives. What we're 76 00:04:55,680 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: struggling with at the route is thirty and thirty five 77 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,839 Speaker 1: and forty gives us a sense of control. So when 78 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:05,279 Speaker 1: we get to thirty two and we haven't found our person, 79 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: we think we've lost control. We think we've lost agency, 80 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,799 Speaker 1: we think we've lost the ability to choose. We're actually 81 00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:15,880 Speaker 1: not worried about age. What we're really worried is about control. 82 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:18,279 Speaker 1: I want to be able to control my life, and 83 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:21,520 Speaker 1: if everyone's doing something at thirty, that means I'm out 84 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,200 Speaker 1: of control. So what do we do with that? You 85 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:28,839 Speaker 1: control the things you can change, You control the things 86 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:32,120 Speaker 1: you can impact, You control the things you can influence. 87 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,920 Speaker 1: It's that which is going to make your life happy. 88 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:40,400 Speaker 1: Why this matters psychologically is that feeling in charge of 89 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 1: your choices predicts happiness more than hitting milestones on a schedule. 90 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:51,599 Speaker 1: Feeling in charge of your choices, that's what we're looking 91 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,280 Speaker 1: for as humans. We want to feel like I know 92 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,680 Speaker 1: why I'm doing this. But let's take a look at this. 93 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:00,120 Speaker 1: If you make a decision based on a milestone and 94 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:04,159 Speaker 1: your only reason is I think come late, you're not 95 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:07,040 Speaker 1: going to feel in charge of your choices. If your 96 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,440 Speaker 1: only thought is I don't want to be left behind, 97 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,920 Speaker 1: you're not really in charge of your choices. If your 98 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:17,120 Speaker 1: only thought is everyone's doing it, why am I not, 99 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,880 Speaker 1: you're not in charge of your choices, which leads to 100 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 1: bad decisions. Always say to people it's better to be 101 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,480 Speaker 1: single and deal with the challenges that come with that. 102 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,360 Speaker 1: In your mind and in your thoughts. Then the challenges 103 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,159 Speaker 1: of being with someone who's not right for you. It 104 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 1: comes with so much more baggage, so much more stress. 105 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 1: So knowing you're in charge of your choices will change 106 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 1: your life now. People who felt pressured by the clock 107 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:50,279 Speaker 1: often reported anxiety, depression, or dissatisfaction if they felt behind. 108 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 1: But those who readers find success on their own terms 109 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,960 Speaker 1: tended to have healthier mental well being. And this is 110 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:02,280 Speaker 1: how that plays out today. Social clock has loosened since 111 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 1: the nineteen sixties. People marry later, they switch careers more often, 112 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: they delay kids, and we're going to talk about all 113 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 1: of those things later on in this video. But the 114 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:16,520 Speaker 1: pressure still exists, and it's just amplified by social media. 115 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 1: The researcher's finding is more relevant than ever before. If 116 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 1: you detach your self worth from society stopwatch, you actually 117 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: increase your odds of life satisfaction. The research proves what 118 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 1: we keep trying to avoid. You're not late. You're only 119 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:41,520 Speaker 1: late if you're living by someone else's watch. It's almost 120 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,160 Speaker 1: like you're living in New York, but you're looking at 121 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,280 Speaker 1: someone who lives in Singapore and thinking you're behind. Well, 122 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 1: of course you're behind. You live in New York, you 123 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:54,280 Speaker 1: can possibly be on the same time as Singapore. Does 124 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,720 Speaker 1: that mean you're behind? Is it weird that Australia celebrates 125 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 1: New Year's before all of us? Does that mean we're behind? No, 126 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:07,240 Speaker 1: we're just following a different clock. Stop following everyone else's timeline. 127 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:14,640 Speaker 1: Stop believing everyone else's highlight reel. Stop chasing everyone else's 128 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 1: definition of success. Stop trying to reach everyone else's milestones. 129 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 1: Stop feeling everyone else's pressure to have it figured out. 130 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:34,199 Speaker 1: Stop needing everyone else's validation. Stop following everyone else's path 131 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 1: when your soul is putting another way, that's how you 132 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:45,080 Speaker 1: experience peace. Now, let's say your thought is I haven't 133 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:49,720 Speaker 1: found my career or my purpose yet. The US Bureau 134 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:54,720 Speaker 1: of Labor Statistics found the average American changes jobs twelve 135 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:58,480 Speaker 1: times in their lifetime. Careers are far less straight lines 136 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,720 Speaker 1: than they used to be. Most of these changes happen 137 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 1: before age thirty five, meaning your twenties and early thirties 138 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 1: are often about testing, shifting, and experimenting, not locking into 139 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 1: one perfect path. See that's how you feel behind. You're 140 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 1: at an age that is actually more predisposed to experimentation 141 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: in testing, but because so many people are choosing not 142 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 1: to do that and they might be doubling down. You 143 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:28,840 Speaker 1: feel behind, but you're actually at a natural pace. You're 144 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,880 Speaker 1: actually finding yourself. You're discovering yourself. You're collecting skills, you're 145 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:36,760 Speaker 1: collecting experiences and stories. If you're always looking at the 146 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,560 Speaker 1: timeline and the track, you'll feel left behind, even if 147 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:50,560 Speaker 1: you're having the best experience of your life. Want to 148 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:54,080 Speaker 1: make a real difference this giving season this December. On 149 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:58,679 Speaker 1: Purpose is part of Pods Fight Poverty podcast, teaming up 150 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 1: to lift three village is in Rwanda out of extreme poverty. 151 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,600 Speaker 1: We're doing it through give Directly, which sends cash straight 152 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:09,800 Speaker 1: to families so they can choose what they need most. 153 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 1: Donate at GiveDirectly dot org, forward slash on purpose. First 154 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 1: time gifts are matched, doubling your impact. Our goal is 155 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 1: one million dollars by year's end, enough to lift seven 156 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 1: hundred families out of poverty. Join us at GiveDirectly dot org, 157 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:38,240 Speaker 1: forward slash on Purpose. Now here's the truth. The economy 158 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:43,080 Speaker 1: has shifted. Previous generations often stayed in one company or 159 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:50,240 Speaker 1: one role for decades. Today industries transform quickly, tech, media, healthcare, 160 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 1: so people have to adapt. Literally, the job I do 161 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:59,000 Speaker 1: today didn't really exist fifteen years ago. And I was 162 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:02,240 Speaker 1: just talking about this with my friend about how even 163 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 1: in nine years since I started creating content, everything has changed. 164 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: TikTok didn't exist. When I started, YouTube was having a moment. 165 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:14,640 Speaker 1: YouTube's having another moment today. Podcasting wasn't as big as 166 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 1: it is. When I launched my podcast six years ago. 167 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: There were seven hundred thousand podcasts. Today there's like five 168 00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 1: million of them. Everything is changing rapidly. How could you 169 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 1: possibly know what career path you have to take today? 170 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,920 Speaker 1: We're looking at the impact of AI on every industry. 171 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,600 Speaker 1: It's exciting. It's not something to get scared about. There's 172 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:37,600 Speaker 1: so much opportunity. But what we get scared about is 173 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 1: why don't I know what I'm doing? The reality is 174 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,120 Speaker 1: what you're meant to be doing may not even exist yet. 175 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:47,880 Speaker 1: Values have shifted. Millennials and gen Z especially prioritize meaning 176 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:53,800 Speaker 1: flexibility and growth over stability alone. It's normal. Psychologists Honor 177 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,360 Speaker 1: and Tanner in two thousand and six describe ages eighteen 178 00:11:57,400 --> 00:12:02,240 Speaker 1: to twenty nine as emerging adulthoo, a stage where identity 179 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:08,600 Speaker 1: exploration is expected, not a sign of being lost. It's 180 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:13,280 Speaker 1: psychologically not a sign of being lost. It's exploration. When 181 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,480 Speaker 1: you think you're lost, you're actually exploring. When you think 182 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:20,080 Speaker 1: you're stuck, you're actually discovering. When you think you've hit 183 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:24,000 Speaker 1: a dead end, you're actually at the beginning. Career zigzags 184 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:27,920 Speaker 1: are healthier. Studies show people who allow themselves to pivot 185 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 1: often report higher job satisfaction and engagement because they align 186 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:37,560 Speaker 1: better with their strengths. Linear parts are outdated. Thinking you 187 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:41,679 Speaker 1: need a perfect straight line career is rooted in the 188 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:46,560 Speaker 1: industrial era, not in today's fluid, skill based economy. Your 189 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:52,720 Speaker 1: purpose is not your job. Jobs change, Purpose doesn't get fired. 190 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:58,439 Speaker 1: Your purpose is not your skills. Skills are tools. Purpose 191 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 1: is why you pick them up. Your purpose is not 192 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 1: your achievements. Trophies gather dust, purpose keep shining. Your purpose 193 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:13,440 Speaker 1: is not your title. Titles fade the moment you walk 194 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,720 Speaker 1: out of the door. Your purpose is not your income. 195 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:23,720 Speaker 1: Money measures transactions, purpose measures meaning. Your purpose is not 196 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:27,080 Speaker 1: a single moment. It's not the one big thing. It's 197 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:32,079 Speaker 1: the thread running through all your moments. Your purpose is 198 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:38,960 Speaker 1: not external approval, likes, applause, validation. They're unstable. Purpose is 199 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:44,160 Speaker 1: what remains when the clapping stops. Your purpose is why 200 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,840 Speaker 1: you do what you do. It's why you exist. Your 201 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:52,440 Speaker 1: purpose is simply to collect and connect. Spend your life 202 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 1: collecting skills and experiences and stories, and at one point 203 00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:01,480 Speaker 1: you'll find how they connect. Now, maybe thought is I 204 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:05,359 Speaker 1: can't afford a home. I took a look at the statistics. 205 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,520 Speaker 1: I wanted to share the research with you. Fifty years ago, 206 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:13,840 Speaker 1: buying a house felt like climbing a hill. Today it 207 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:18,679 Speaker 1: feels like scaling a mountain. Incomes simply haven't kept up 208 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:22,360 Speaker 1: with the rise of housing prices. In the nineteen seventies 209 00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:25,760 Speaker 1: to nineteen nineties, a typical home cost about two point 210 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:30,640 Speaker 1: five to three times the average household income. Example, if 211 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:33,800 Speaker 1: you earned thirty thousand dollars, the average house was around 212 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:38,760 Speaker 1: seventy nine thousand dollars. It's hard, but doable with savings. Now. 213 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 1: In the two thousands, that ratio crept up closer to 214 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:47,560 Speaker 1: three times income. Houses were starting to stretch budgets, but 215 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: still within reach for many people. In the twenty tens, 216 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:57,320 Speaker 1: after the financial crisis, home prices rebounded much faster than incomes. 217 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: The ratio jumped to about four zero point five times income, 218 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:06,360 Speaker 1: and today, in twenty twenty five, the gap has grown 219 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:11,520 Speaker 1: even more. A median home costs over six times the 220 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:15,880 Speaker 1: median household income in many parts of the United States. 221 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:19,120 Speaker 1: For example, if the average household income makes seventy four 222 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:24,280 Speaker 1: thousand dollars, the average home costs four hundred and thirty 223 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 1: thousand dollars. You're not behind if you can't buy a 224 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:34,280 Speaker 1: home right now. The game itself has changed. Things haven't 225 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:38,120 Speaker 1: stayed the same. Homes have outpaced incomes by two eggs 226 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 1: compared to your parents or grandparents' time. Don't measure yourself 227 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:48,240 Speaker 1: today by the goals people had fifty years ago. Things 228 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:54,000 Speaker 1: are different, You're different. Don't judge today's progress by yesterday's 229 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:59,640 Speaker 1: definition of success. What mattered then might not matter now. 230 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:04,760 Speaker 1: Don't hold yourself hostage to the dreams of your younger self. 231 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,800 Speaker 1: It's okay if you've outgrown them. Don't compare today's version 232 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:13,880 Speaker 1: of you to an old standard that no longer fits. 233 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:18,600 Speaker 1: Yesterday's goals were right for who you were then. Today's 234 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 1: goals are right for who you are right now now. 235 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 1: Maybe your thought is I'm not married yet, or I'm 236 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,160 Speaker 1: not in love yet, i haven't found my person. The 237 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:31,240 Speaker 1: median age for your first marriage in the United States 238 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,680 Speaker 1: is now thirty for men and twenty eight for women. 239 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:38,800 Speaker 1: That's up nearly a decade from the nineteen seventies. From 240 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,960 Speaker 1: Pew Research in twenty twenty one. No, no, what you're thinking, Jay, 241 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 1: I'm thirty, I'm thirty two. I'm already behind. I'm four 242 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:48,200 Speaker 1: years behind. You just told me it's twenty eight. Well 243 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:52,280 Speaker 1: take a second. Do you want to be married or 244 00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:55,800 Speaker 1: do you want to have a successful marriage, Well, then 245 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,760 Speaker 1: it's not about age. Do you want to be in 246 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:03,560 Speaker 1: love or do you want to have a healthy relationship, Well, 247 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,880 Speaker 1: then it's not about age. Do you want to find 248 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:11,080 Speaker 1: someone so you're not alone, or do you want a 249 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 1: life partner, Because then it's not about age. If you 250 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 1: want a real, lasting love, a healthy relationship, a life partner, 251 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 1: it's got nothing to do with age. It's all about maturity. 252 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 1: It's all about emotional intelligence, it's all about self mastery. 253 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,600 Speaker 1: Relationships don't last or fall apart because of the age 254 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:36,119 Speaker 1: you met. Relationships are not better because you met before 255 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:40,200 Speaker 1: thirty and worse because you met after. They're better because 256 00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,720 Speaker 1: you've got to know yourself. And so did that person 257 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:48,760 Speaker 1: married success is about maturity, not timing. It's not about age. 258 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:52,920 Speaker 1: I've always found it fascinating. I love weddings. I love love. 259 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:56,920 Speaker 1: I've had the fortune of officiating marriages, and when I'm 260 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,919 Speaker 1: officiating a wedding, the only thing I'm saying to my 261 00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:02,520 Speaker 1: of in my mind is don't cry. Don't cry, don't cry. 262 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:04,320 Speaker 1: Because I love love so much. I love weddings, I 263 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:06,680 Speaker 1: love vows, I love all of it. But here's the thing. 264 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,919 Speaker 1: From everyone I've coached and people I've worked with, people 265 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:14,120 Speaker 1: spend so much more time and money planning a wedding 266 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:18,600 Speaker 1: than they do planning a marriage. When you're planning a wedding, 267 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:22,480 Speaker 1: you're thinking about the guest list. If you plan your marriage, 268 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,000 Speaker 1: you'd know whose company you'd want for the rest of 269 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,760 Speaker 1: your life. When you're planning a wedding, you're thinking about 270 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:32,919 Speaker 1: the budget. When you're planning a marriage, we often avoid 271 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:38,200 Speaker 1: conversations about money. When you're planning a wedding, you're excited, 272 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,880 Speaker 1: you're looking forward to it. When you're living in a marriage, 273 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,400 Speaker 1: you may lose that spark. We spend more time planning 274 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:46,920 Speaker 1: a wedding than we do a marriage, even though the 275 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,880 Speaker 1: marriage is what we're going to have for the rest 276 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:51,159 Speaker 1: of our life, and the wedding is going to be 277 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,639 Speaker 1: over in a night. And I'm not saying weddings are 278 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,119 Speaker 1: not important. I had a wedding that I loved. It 279 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:58,760 Speaker 1: was a beautiful, beautiful day. Trying to help us shift 280 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:02,320 Speaker 1: our focus onto building a marriage, not just a wedding, 281 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:06,120 Speaker 1: on building love, not just not being lonely. If you're 282 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,960 Speaker 1: someone who's thirty two, thirty thirty four, thirty five to 283 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,760 Speaker 1: forty fifty, whatever it is is, I want you to 284 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,960 Speaker 1: remind yourself and I want you to say this to yourself. 285 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 1: Marrying later doesn't mean my life will be harder. It 286 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:24,679 Speaker 1: means I have more clarity about what I want. The 287 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:28,360 Speaker 1: time I've taken to grow, to work to know myself 288 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:33,119 Speaker 1: is actually giving me a better chance for a good, 289 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 1: healthy relationship. Happiness in marriage doesn't come from marrying young 290 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:46,159 Speaker 1: or old. It comes from communication, shared values, and emotional readiness. 291 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,879 Speaker 1: We've got to reprogram our mind, got to shift the 292 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:53,680 Speaker 1: way with thinking you're not late. If you get married 293 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:59,000 Speaker 1: at thirty five, you're not late. If you find your person, 294 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,920 Speaker 1: you're not late. If you're still single while everyone else 295 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:10,200 Speaker 1: posts wedding photos, you're not late. If your love story 296 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:15,679 Speaker 1: starts later than your friends, you're not late. If you 297 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:21,200 Speaker 1: choose yourself before choosing someone else, you're not late. If 298 00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:24,880 Speaker 1: you waited for a healthy love instead of rushing into 299 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:29,000 Speaker 1: a toxic one, you're not late. If you're still figuring 300 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:33,840 Speaker 1: out who you are while others settle down, you're not late. 301 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:37,840 Speaker 1: If you build your life first and let love join 302 00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:42,600 Speaker 1: it later, you're not late. Now, maybe the next door 303 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,240 Speaker 1: is the one you're having. I haven't achieved anything yet, 304 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,560 Speaker 1: So maybe you found a job that you like. Maybe 305 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,080 Speaker 1: you're doing all right in your relationship, but you think 306 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 1: you haven't achieved anything right now, there's billionaires that are 307 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 1: twenty one years old, thirty years old. What am I 308 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:59,960 Speaker 1: doing now? There's influences that a millionaire is at sixteen. 309 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,880 Speaker 1: What am I doing with my life? I haven't achieved 310 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 1: anything yet. I haven't won any award. I haven't been noticed, 311 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,480 Speaker 1: I haven't been recognized. I'm sure it's very natural to 312 00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 1: feel that way. By the way, there's more awards than 313 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,760 Speaker 1: ever existed before. Before we had the Emmys, the Oscars, 314 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,720 Speaker 1: the Grammys, and the Tony's. Right today, there's like a 315 00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:20,200 Speaker 1: million different awards for a million different things. It feels 316 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,120 Speaker 1: like we're just making up awards to give them out. 317 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:45,280 Speaker 1: But think about this for a second. Take a look 318 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:51,480 Speaker 1: at this research. Early bloomers don't guarantee lasting success. Research 319 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:56,159 Speaker 1: from Harvard's Grant Study, the longest running study of adult development, 320 00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:01,359 Speaker 1: found that life satisfaction at age seventy correlated more with 321 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 1: relationship quality than with early career success. What predicts happiness 322 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:12,000 Speaker 1: at age seventy and age eighty. It wasn't their fame, 323 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:17,280 Speaker 1: It wasn't their income, It wasn't their early career achievements 324 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:21,320 Speaker 1: that best predicted who was happier later on. It was 325 00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:25,679 Speaker 1: the warmth of their relationships with family and friends. It 326 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:29,600 Speaker 1: was the closeness of their community. People who had close, 327 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:35,000 Speaker 1: satisfying relationships at age fifty were healthier, happier, more resilient 328 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 1: into old age. Those who reported being very satisfied in 329 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,879 Speaker 1: their relationships at middle age tended to have better physical 330 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:47,880 Speaker 1: health by their eighties, slower cognitive decline, less chronic illness, 331 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:52,280 Speaker 1: mental and emotional well being, even when life was painful, 332 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 1: whether you had lost illness or setbacks. People in warm 333 00:22:56,119 --> 00:23:02,199 Speaker 1: relationships whethered it better emotionally and physically. Big wins in 334 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:07,760 Speaker 1: your twenties or thirties. Big titles, money recognition didn't consistently 335 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:12,119 Speaker 1: lead to better health or deeper joy later in life 336 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:17,480 Speaker 1: if the relationships weren't strong. Some people who seemed on 337 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:22,040 Speaker 1: top early floundered later if their social bones were weak. 338 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:26,359 Speaker 1: At the same time, some with modest achievements but strong 339 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:32,920 Speaker 1: connections reported greater life satisfaction. Don't measure your life by 340 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:38,040 Speaker 1: your wins. Measure it by the people who cheer when 341 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:41,720 Speaker 1: you win. Don't measure your life by what you've achieved. 342 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:46,919 Speaker 1: Don't measure your life by your wins. Measure your life 343 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:50,119 Speaker 1: by the people who stand with you when you lose. 344 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:54,879 Speaker 1: Don't measure your life by what you've achieved. Measure it 345 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:59,399 Speaker 1: by who's there to truly celebrate you. Don't measure your 346 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:03,480 Speaker 1: life by the size of your following. Measure it by 347 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:07,720 Speaker 1: the depth of your friendships. Don't measure your life by 348 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:11,639 Speaker 1: the validation of strangers. Measure it by the love of 349 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:15,159 Speaker 1: the ones who truly know you. So many of us 350 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 1: are getting this wrong. I recently was at two people's 351 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:22,480 Speaker 1: seventieth birthdays, two friends family friends, one of them and 352 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,199 Speaker 1: another as a personal friend, and I got to go 353 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,800 Speaker 1: to their seventieth birthday parties, which was truly one of 354 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 1: the most special experiences of my life, both of them. 355 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 1: At one of them, we sat one night, probably about 356 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,320 Speaker 1: one hundred people there that this person had known for decades, 357 00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:43,520 Speaker 1: their children, their children's friends, They had their friends from 358 00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:47,520 Speaker 1: all over the years, whether it was school, business, life, work. 359 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:51,480 Speaker 1: And what was really interesting is when their friends spoke 360 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:56,840 Speaker 1: about them. Even though these people had achieved something pretty 361 00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:00,880 Speaker 1: phenomenal in their life from a material perspective, no one 362 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,320 Speaker 1: mentioned it. People didn't talk about how much money they 363 00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:07,800 Speaker 1: made as one of their success points. People didn't talk 364 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 1: about how much fame they had. People didn't talk about 365 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:18,439 Speaker 1: what their career acumen was and what their business strategy was. 366 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,439 Speaker 1: People talked about how they were as people. They were 367 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,720 Speaker 1: loyal friends who always showed up. They were carrying in 368 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:30,480 Speaker 1: compassionate when they were needed, and they were always there. 369 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:36,400 Speaker 1: That's what our legacy is, That's what will be remembered. 370 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,239 Speaker 1: Focus on that. Maybe the thought in your head is 371 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:45,840 Speaker 1: it's too late to start anything new. While studies on 372 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:51,120 Speaker 1: neuroplasticity showed the brain can grow, rewire, and adapt well 373 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:54,600 Speaker 1: into your sixties and seventies, the brain is built for 374 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:59,679 Speaker 1: reinvention at any age. For decades, scientists believe the brain 375 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:04,640 Speaker 1: was fixed after childhood, but modern neuroscience flipped that belief. 376 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:10,800 Speaker 1: The brain remains plastic, changeable throughout life. Neuroplasticity means you 377 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:15,359 Speaker 1: can form new neural connections, learn new skills, and adapt 378 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:19,920 Speaker 1: to new environments even in your sixties and seventies and beyond. 379 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,200 Speaker 1: People in their seventies who took up a new language 380 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:28,159 Speaker 1: showed measurable changes in brain activity and improved cognitive health. 381 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:32,400 Speaker 1: Even older adults who learned an instrument showed new neural 382 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:36,879 Speaker 1: growth and better memory. The principle for life is this. 383 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,920 Speaker 1: Your brain is not a hard drive that fills up 384 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,720 Speaker 1: and locks up. It's more like a muscle. Use it 385 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:48,320 Speaker 1: in new ways, and it reshapes and continues to grow, 386 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:52,080 Speaker 1: Which means this, You're never too late to start a career, 387 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:56,560 Speaker 1: build a skill, or create a new path. Your biology 388 00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:00,640 Speaker 1: is actually on your side. If you want to learn 389 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:04,679 Speaker 1: a skill at forty, your brain will literally rewire. If 390 00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,520 Speaker 1: you want to switch careers at fifty, your brain can 391 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:10,680 Speaker 1: form fresh pathways you want to start over at sixty, 392 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:14,120 Speaker 1: your brain is still capable of growth just a little 393 00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: bit slower, but still possible. It's never too late to 394 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:23,880 Speaker 1: start again. It's never too late to find love. It's 395 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:27,200 Speaker 1: never too late to start a career you actually enjoy. 396 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:31,119 Speaker 1: It's never too late to go back to school or 397 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:34,480 Speaker 1: learn a skill you always wanted. It's never too late 398 00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:38,359 Speaker 1: to take control of your health, no matter your past habits. 399 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:42,800 Speaker 1: It's never too late to repair a relationship that matters 400 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:46,840 Speaker 1: to you. It's never too late to start saving, investing, 401 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,480 Speaker 1: or getting smarter with money. It's never too late to 402 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:55,160 Speaker 1: change directions when the life you build doesn't fit anymore. 403 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:59,639 Speaker 1: And maybe your thought is I'm getting too old to 404 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:05,120 Speaker 1: be Happiness actually peaks later than you think. A lot 405 00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:06,560 Speaker 1: of people say I missed the good old days, and 406 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,960 Speaker 1: what they mean is I miss being at college. Now 407 00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:13,200 Speaker 1: here's the truth. If you just graduated college, I promise 408 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,600 Speaker 1: you that does not have to be your best years. 409 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,560 Speaker 1: If you graduated college ten years ago, I promise you 410 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,440 Speaker 1: those do not have to be your best years. Imagine 411 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,959 Speaker 1: living the rest of your life and thinking college were 412 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:29,080 Speaker 1: my best years. I promise you every decade can get 413 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,720 Speaker 1: better than the last if you want it to. Every 414 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:35,800 Speaker 1: decade can be more fulfilling if you want it to college. 415 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,280 Speaker 1: Should never be your best years. They should be great years, 416 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:42,560 Speaker 1: fun years, but never your best years. Large scale studies 417 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:48,000 Speaker 1: found that happiness follows a U shaped curve. Life satisfaction 418 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:52,200 Speaker 1: dips in the forties, then rises again, peaking in the 419 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:56,280 Speaker 1: fifties and beyond. Here's the principle, you may not even 420 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,760 Speaker 1: have hit your happiest years yet, how can you be 421 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:04,040 Speaker 1: to your own peak? Based on large scale surveys of 422 00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:08,560 Speaker 1: more than three hundred and forty thousand Americans, participants rated 423 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:13,480 Speaker 1: daily emotions and overall life evaluation. What they found was 424 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 1: this early adulthood twenty to thirties higher optimism, excitement, but 425 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:25,040 Speaker 1: also higher stress, anxiety, and comparison pressure. Mid life forties, 426 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,880 Speaker 1: life satisfaction hits a low point, often called the mid 427 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:32,920 Speaker 1: life crisis or slump. This is linked to juggling work, kids, 428 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:39,640 Speaker 1: money pressures, aging parents, and unfulfilled expectations. Later life fifties plus, 429 00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:43,920 Speaker 1: life satisfaction begins to climb again, often higher than in 430 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:49,959 Speaker 1: early adulthood. People report more gratitude, contentment, and emotional stability. 431 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:54,600 Speaker 1: Happiness tends to rise through the fifties, sixties, and seventies, 432 00:29:54,960 --> 00:30:00,200 Speaker 1: depending on health and social support and here's why. By midlife, 433 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:06,760 Speaker 1: people recalibrate expectations and stop measuring against unrealistic goals. Older 434 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:10,280 Speaker 1: adults score higher on emotional stability because there are fewer 435 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:15,840 Speaker 1: mood swings, less anger, less envy, and comparison. Studies show 436 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:21,240 Speaker 1: how older adults value time relationships meaning more than status 437 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:26,719 Speaker 1: or comparison. They focus on fewer but deeper relationships. So 438 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:31,200 Speaker 1: if you're forty and feeling behind, science suggests you're in 439 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:36,520 Speaker 1: the natural dip of the curve, not broken, not late. Statistically, 440 00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:40,040 Speaker 1: things get better. The happiness rebound means your fifties and 441 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:44,920 Speaker 1: sixties may bring more contentment than your twenties ever did 442 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:49,400 Speaker 1: Happiness isn't front loaded, it's U shaped. If you're in 443 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:53,920 Speaker 1: the valley, the data says you're climbing toward a peak. 444 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:56,800 Speaker 1: I hope that that answers helps you think about some 445 00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,240 Speaker 1: of the thoughts that are going on your mind. I 446 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:01,560 Speaker 1: hope you use this episode is a way to interrupt 447 00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:04,920 Speaker 1: that pattern. These thoughts are just patterns. I'm not good enough, 448 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,560 Speaker 1: I'm behind, I'm late, i'm not married yet, I haven't 449 00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,600 Speaker 1: found my person. They're just patterns, patterns that you've repeated. 450 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:15,280 Speaker 1: This episode is about breaking that pattern. Listen to it 451 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:19,120 Speaker 1: again and again and again until you realize that your 452 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:24,160 Speaker 1: timeline is fine, your watch is working, your clock is accurate, 453 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,000 Speaker 1: and when you're present with the time you have, you'll 454 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 1: create an amazing future. Thanks for listening. Make sure you subscribe, 455 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,880 Speaker 1: Share this with a friend, and remember and forever in 456 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:38,880 Speaker 1: your corner and I'm always rooting for you. Thank you 457 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:42,720 Speaker 1: so much for listening to this conversation. If you enjoyed it, 458 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:46,959 Speaker 1: you'll love my chat with Adam Grant on why discomfort 459 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:50,280 Speaker 1: is the key to growth and the strategies for unlocking 460 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:53,360 Speaker 1: your hidden potential. If you know you want to be 461 00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:56,240 Speaker 1: more and achieve more this year, go check it out 462 00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,120 Speaker 1: right now. You set a goal today, you achieve it 463 00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:01,640 Speaker 1: in six months, and then by the time it happens, 464 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,880 Speaker 1: it's almost a relief. There's no sense of meaning and purpose. 465 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:06,719 Speaker 1: You sort of expected it, and you would have been 466 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:08,200 Speaker 1: disappointed if it didn't happen.