Speaker 1: Okay, you wild pregnant son, really pregnant. However that first
Speaker 1: trimester though, h it's different, different the fourth time around.
Speaker 1: Dead Ass. Hey, I'm Cadine and we're the Ellises. You
Speaker 1: may know us from posting funny videos with our boys
Speaker 1: and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait,
Speaker 1: I'll make you need therapy most days. Wow. And one
Speaker 1: more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes, sir, we are.
Speaker 1: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of
Speaker 1: life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to
Speaker 1: talk about through the lens of a millennium married couple.
Speaker 1: Dead As is the term that we say every day.
Speaker 1: So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts,
Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 1: Were about to take Philows off to a whole new level.
Speaker 1: Dead Ass starts right now. So you have a story
Speaker 1: time for us, because we have lots of stories. Guys.
Speaker 1: I feel like this season is going to be loaded
Speaker 1: with just mad stories because we kind of felt like
Speaker 1: we should just you know, we do random topics in
Speaker 1: the past. Season's cover different things, but we kind of
Speaker 1: feel like we wanted to bring you out on this
Speaker 1: journey with us, you know, last baby, the last of
Speaker 1: the Ellis of the Mohicans. I am saying this. We
Speaker 1: are done on the record. I feel like we've said
Speaker 1: this before though, but this time, like I said, the
Speaker 1: fourth time, it's different. So that being said, um, we
Speaker 1: got stories that we want to kind of just tell
Speaker 1: and share in the process and the journey. I feel like,
Speaker 1: you know, having children and pregnancy are always going to
Speaker 1: be hot button topics because there's always babies being born
Speaker 1: and people always out there getting it on, loving on
Speaker 1: each other and in each other. So that being said,
Speaker 1: story time war this new home that we purchased for
Speaker 1: our kids, of course, and Codeine let me know that
Speaker 1: she's pregnant. So now that we know that we're having
Speaker 1: another child, of course, Codein wants to know right away
Speaker 1: if we're having a boy or a girl. And at
Speaker 1: this point, y'all know, now we've got four Kings coming baby,
Speaker 1: four Kings baby, he's the King Baker. But at the
Speaker 1: time we didn't know who had and uh, Codein had
Speaker 1: got this this little thing called sneak peek where they
Speaker 1: say of the time they're right and it's at home
Speaker 1: gender tests. So this is something that I just happened
Speaker 1: to hear about through another person that I know that
Speaker 1: used it, and it was right for her. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: all right, you know, and at this point in time,
Speaker 1: I just I couldn't wait, Like normally I'm the one
Speaker 1: that likes the surprise, but she couldn't time. I was like,
Speaker 1: I need to know, like now, so now this was
Speaker 1: this was around how many weeks was this? I want
Speaker 1: to say it was around ten weeks, around ten weeks.
Speaker 1: So with the ten week marks, she's right in the
Speaker 1: middle of the nausea part of it, you know. Just
Speaker 1: so you guys know, the first six weeks of pregnancy,
Speaker 1: there's not much ledge as your body is starting to
Speaker 1: make the change. But once you get to six, from
Speaker 1: six to twelve, so this is week ten, she's in
Speaker 1: the middle of NAGA. So she's not eating, she's you know,
Speaker 1: feeling all kind of funny and stuff. And we were still,
Speaker 1: you know, being intimate. This was this was our thing.
Speaker 1: We still tempting, attempting to be right. So goes your babe,
Speaker 1: all right, I got you tonight. I'm gonna make sure
Speaker 1: you get I'm gonna take care of you. But before
Speaker 1: I do that I'm going take this test, the sneak
Speaker 1: Peak test. Now, in the sneak Peak tests, you can't
Speaker 1: have no test star stone extra test stars thrown around
Speaker 1: you at all. No, I'm not supposed to be in
Speaker 1: the room now, I'm not supposed to be anywhere. So
Speaker 1: that she can take the test. What she has to
Speaker 1: do is prick her finger, put the blood drops into
Speaker 1: the little vial, She closed it up, send it off,
Speaker 1: mailing in boom. She gets the results back. So I
Speaker 1: go in the room. I'm butt naked, laying on the
Speaker 1: bed waiting for my wife to come out because she
Speaker 1: says she got me. After about say, seventeen minutes. All
Speaker 1: I hair out the bathroom is babe, babe, And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I love how I sound like a wounded every time,
Speaker 1: and that's actually calling me bag. So I'm like, oh God,
Speaker 1: what's wrong with this woman? So I'll go in the
Speaker 1: bathroom and she's like, okay, okay, okay, stand back, stand back,
Speaker 1: because you can't be around none of the products. So
Speaker 1: I'm standing back, but I'm like, what do you want?
Speaker 1: I'm naked. She naked, right, So she's in the mirror
Speaker 1: and she she has the needle right, and she got
Speaker 1: a rubber band around her finger so she can get
Speaker 1: the blood out her finger. I said, genius, you gotta
Speaker 1: take the tourniquet so that the blood will flow. She's
Speaker 1: because there's no black coming. There's no black coming, so
Speaker 1: I thought I had to sticking up. She's stabbing the
Speaker 1: ship out of her finger and ain't no blood coming out.
Speaker 1: Then she takes the rubb a ban off and like
Speaker 1: one little, tiny little speck of blood starts to come out.
Speaker 1: So now I'm standing behind her and she's just like
Speaker 1: it's trying to feel hot. She's like feeling I'm not
Speaker 1: supposed to be next to her. I walk up behind
Speaker 1: her and she kind of puts her head back on
Speaker 1: my chest right and talking at my hand. One little
Speaker 1: blood drop, one little blood drop from her finger is
Speaker 1: like falling, falling, fallen. She's like, so finally she took
Speaker 1: the one little blood drop, put it in the vial
Speaker 1: and she goes, whoof, And that's what cane? Are you serious?
Speaker 1: That was one drop of blood. I'm queasy. So then
Speaker 1: I'm looking at her and then I feel hers go
Speaker 1: limp coneine. Then passed out in my arms, naked, but
Speaker 1: her left hand is still in the air because she
Speaker 1: don't want me or the blood to get anywhere near me, right,
Speaker 1: So I'm like can So she's like huh. She wakes
Speaker 1: up right and I'm like you okay, and she goes yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: passes out again. Right. So now I'm naked. She naked. It.
Speaker 1: I'm sliding her because I got her in my arms.
Speaker 1: Her fingers still up in the air. Though I'm sliding her,
Speaker 1: I throw on the bed. I'm on medium because my
Speaker 1: my dick is running down her back. She naked. I'm
Speaker 1: still trying to get something right. She laying in the
Speaker 1: bed with her finger in the air, and she's like,
Speaker 1: I'm just fine, I'm fine. I just I need some water.
Speaker 1: I need some water. So I'm like all of this
Speaker 1: to find out what we haven't. She sits there with
Speaker 1: her finger up in the air for about seven minutes.
Speaker 1: Then we got this mattress, the mattress you made me
Speaker 1: buy with the remote. So I set her up in
Speaker 1: the mattress. Right, So now she's like, she come up,
Speaker 1: kicks her feet up the side, she walks back in there.
Speaker 1: I walk with her, and then she sticks her finger
Speaker 1: and the thing gets a little bit of blood. Out
Speaker 1: closes it we ain't getting, we ain't getting. There was
Speaker 1: no no chitty chitty bang bang. That night she went
Speaker 1: to sleep, right, and then about how long it was?
Speaker 1: About six days? No, I think I did the rap
Speaker 1: it once, so it was like three days. Three days.
Speaker 1: She's like, I got an email from them, right. The
Speaker 1: email opens up and it says it it's a boy.
Speaker 1: The first thing she does is look at me and go,
Speaker 1: you supposed to even be in the bathroom now, believe it.
Speaker 1: And she got pissed at me. And I'm just sitting
Speaker 1: there like you would have. You would have passed out
Speaker 1: and bend your head on the floor, But all you
Speaker 1: care about is me contaminating the test. And at that
Speaker 1: point I was like, that serves me right, My dumbass
Speaker 1: should have just waited for the blood test that week
Speaker 1: because I got it done in ten weeks anyway, because
Speaker 1: you know, I'm over thirty five now and they cleaned
Speaker 1: that that's like a older pregnancy. So but she blamed me.
Speaker 1: That's and And the funny thing is the microcosm of
Speaker 1: this whole story is no matter what goes on with
Speaker 1: her life, from the moment she finds out she's pregnant
Speaker 1: until she gives birth is my fault. That is the
Speaker 1: whole the story. I'm gonna dedicate this song to my baby.
Speaker 1: You better do all the singing because listen, I know
Speaker 1: you ain't gonna. I think I'm gonna remind me every
Speaker 1: single day, like I don't know, eute give you this intro. Mhm,
Speaker 1: thin mean love so many things I got to tell you.
Speaker 1: But I'm afraid I do know because there's a posibility
Speaker 1: that you look at me differently, love like a song.
Speaker 1: Ever since the first moment I spoke your name, because
Speaker 1: then I knew that by you being in my life,
Speaker 1: these with destined to change. Love you better saying look
Speaker 1: at you alright, great, that awesome. But I know I
Speaker 1: love you though, that's a fact. I know I'm doing
Speaker 1: this for a fourth time. Versa I love you. I
Speaker 1: would say that we have definitely been loving on each other, yes,
Speaker 1: development loving in me, clearly, loving on the outside. Clearly.
Speaker 1: There's no polite way to sit now, y'all. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: so should I position? Yeah, but at the ankles though,
Speaker 1: because I'm not, I can't quite You're pregnant, may don't
Speaker 1: nobody care pregnant? For the fourth time on you. Alright,
Speaker 1: so we're talking first trimester. For trimester is technically like
Speaker 1: that first thirteen weeks according to the timeline of pregnancy, right. Um.
Speaker 1: And it's funny because I see here Triple Pudding that
Speaker 1: it's the sneakiest of them all. It really is, because
Speaker 1: it's kind of like some people know they're pregnant and
Speaker 1: people don't, and then some people have these sicknesses and
Speaker 1: then some people don't. So, um, it's a time when
Speaker 1: you kind of you're not gonna look pregnant, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like you have that moment where you
Speaker 1: kind of look like you might have gained a little weight,
Speaker 1: You look a little bloated. So it's like your body
Speaker 1: is going through all these changes you're not really saying
Speaker 1: to anyone yet. You may not have announced it to
Speaker 1: people that you're pregnant, but there's so many different changes
Speaker 1: that you're feeling. So your body is flooded with hormones,
Speaker 1: and there's like a gamut of symptoms that start to
Speaker 1: kick in once that riseing hormone level hits, and you
Speaker 1: and your partner we're looking at each other like, so
Speaker 1: what do we do now? Because I definitely had his moments.
Speaker 1: So when you think about it, you have no moments.
Speaker 1: I knew what to expect, but this time else but
Speaker 1: in the game now. But think about like the first
Speaker 1: time around. The first time around, you were really just like, yo,
Speaker 1: this is crazy. Yeah, the first time I you know
Speaker 1: what to expect exactly. It's important that people know that
Speaker 1: not knowing what to expect doesn't mean that you're a
Speaker 1: bad partner of first time people. It's uncharted territory for
Speaker 1: some people, you know what I mean. So with the
Speaker 1: body of the first signs of pregnancy, you have swollen,
Speaker 1: tender breasts. You know, nobody really shies away from that,
Speaker 1: though we welcome the moves um nausea with or without vomiting,
Speaker 1: increase your nation food cravings, and diversion constipation. This time around, well,
Speaker 1: I mean after last season when our episode We Kid
Speaker 1: Could Fury yea introduced to my bottels in a very
Speaker 1: very strange way. Um, hey, I owned it. It happened.
Speaker 1: If you don't know what I'm referring, So you got
Speaker 1: to go by to our Kids Kid Fury episode five. Yeah, see,
Speaker 1: baby brain, that's another thing that happens all throughout pregnancy. Um,
Speaker 1: and your emotions. Everything is all over the place. You know,
Speaker 1: prenatal care is now something that you have to actively
Speaker 1: seek and there's just so many things that are happening
Speaker 1: and when you think about it, Okay, the baby's growth
Speaker 1: during the first time, I sid let me tell you
Speaker 1: what my body does on a day to day basis.
Speaker 1: We're over here making bones. Okay, my body is making bones.
Speaker 1: My body is making hair, nails, skin, a whole digestive system,
Speaker 1: sense of touch, eyesight, a heart, and my favorite can
Speaker 1: ask a question for your question. They'd be like a
Speaker 1: baby can see color in a third week? Right? How
Speaker 1: they know? They didn't ask babies you was in u
Speaker 1: to row, when you was in there, when when did
Speaker 1: you start seeing color? We've pulled a hundred babies, a
Speaker 1: hundred of penises, some of them. But you know what's
Speaker 1: the most impressive part from me? All I have to
Speaker 1: say now that we know that we're having another boy,
Speaker 1: we have four whole kings. My body makes penises. That
Speaker 1: it's my superpower. Listenbody asked me, what's my superpower? I
Speaker 1: makee penises like you're welcome. You're welcome. Thing's gonna going
Speaker 1: around to the kids schools and telling the kids what
Speaker 1: you do is your superpower. Superpower is that I make
Speaker 1: penises and that's just what it is, you know. So, um,
Speaker 1: you know we're talking about how to kind of help
Speaker 1: your partner through that first trimester, all that good stuff. Um,
Speaker 1: there's so many different things. There's so many different way.
Speaker 1: The first thing is that the emotions is real, like
Speaker 1: like dudes. When she's I think like Connie. I remember
Speaker 1: when I first came home. We were living in the apartment.
Speaker 1: There's a first trimester with Jackson. She opened the door.
Speaker 1: I came back late from the gym, and um, she
Speaker 1: was like hey baby, and I was like, what's up.
Speaker 1: What's up? You know? She said nothing. She's like, um,
Speaker 1: you're hungry. I'm like yeah, she said what do you want?
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like a sandwich. She was
Speaker 1: like and I was like, what do you think the
Speaker 1: car cry you want to? And I was like, oh gosh,
Speaker 1: this is what I'm in store for. That was the
Speaker 1: first draw. But you did well. He said you should
Speaker 1: do stay calm, Stay calm, because I didn't know what
Speaker 1: to expect you ever come And then she's inside start cooking.
Speaker 1: So people start cooking because the sense of smell makes
Speaker 1: pregnant women feel encourage healthy life choices, to make sure
Speaker 1: that I'm healthy, I'm walking, and I'm working out. So
Speaker 1: it's a support for me. Guys. That's honestly what it
Speaker 1: was in that first time. Mster. For sure, you look
Speaker 1: like you're waiting for this, this segment the meat of
Speaker 1: the show. Yes, this is this is the meat of
Speaker 1: the show, the meat of the show. A lot of
Speaker 1: experience with me that the fact clearly, So, Um, I
Speaker 1: have some questions for my wife. Since we're gonna do this,
Speaker 1: we do this podcast. You know, we'd like to read
Speaker 1: each other publicly. You want to have another baby, right,
Speaker 1: you wanted to get pregnant, right. We agreed to this collectively,
Speaker 1: collectively two of us. It was it was it was
Speaker 1: heavy on the devout influence. Okay, okay, we can admit that.
Speaker 1: But it was kind of like, all right, I had
Speaker 1: I can entertain the idea, and I did. So here
Speaker 1: we are. So my question is, which I know a
Speaker 1: lot of men have for their wives or mothers of
Speaker 1: the children. M why do y'all blame us after the fact,
Speaker 1: like y'all did not contribute to what's happening why y'all
Speaker 1: act like y'all were shocked at surprise, had no clue
Speaker 1: what was happening, and now was just at That's super
Speaker 1: easy for you to say when you just completely remain
Speaker 1: normal and it babe the entire time, you guys have
Speaker 1: no idea what happens to the party for that entire
Speaker 1: nine well technically ten month period and then postpartum blame Eve.
Speaker 1: Eve made Adam the apple and that's why you got
Speaker 1: to deal with pregnancy and labor. God told you leave
Speaker 1: leave the apple alone. But no, no, anyway, So I
Speaker 1: think anybody, of course, naturally the idea of like bringing
Speaker 1: life into this world and having a baby is a
Speaker 1: joyous occasion, right, But when it starts to hit, you
Speaker 1: know the symptoms, the morning sickness, the fatigue, the nausea,
Speaker 1: all of that stuff. It's just explain to the male
Speaker 1: listeners who may not know, because I know I've watched
Speaker 1: you go through a four times, what is the first
Speaker 1: trimester of pregnancy, like I would say, I mean, of course,
Speaker 1: everyone's experience is different, so I'll throw that out there first,
Speaker 1: because some women say they experienced nothing and they're perfectly fine.
Speaker 1: So people don't even know that they're pregnant in the
Speaker 1: entire first trimester and then completely find out after the
Speaker 1: fact um, whereas with me, for example, I just know instantly,
Speaker 1: like the minute I'm find out I'm pregnant, I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah. And part of me thought like is it mental?
Speaker 1: Like oh, just because you know you're pregnant, you're trying
Speaker 1: to like you know, mentally, and it's like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: am I sick? No, because you know you have you know,
Speaker 1: COVID for example, it's like, oh god, I'm starting to
Speaker 1: feel all the symptoms because I was exposed or whatever.
Speaker 1: But no, it's um. It's one of those things that
Speaker 1: it's almost like an immediate change to your body. So
Speaker 1: that first trimester is the most important, especially for this
Speaker 1: growing person, because they're all of the different cells and
Speaker 1: all of the different Like this is the most vital
Speaker 1: point in the pregnancy because everything is forming, so your
Speaker 1: body is literally working on overdrive. And then you still
Speaker 1: have to continue to conduct life as if nothing's happening,
Speaker 1: because it's not like you're ill or have a condition
Speaker 1: per se. But this is just part of the process
Speaker 1: and and and not for nothing. This is where I
Speaker 1: think being a responsible respectable partner comes to play as
Speaker 1: a husband, right because I already know how the first
Speaker 1: try messages hit you. So I made it very clear
Speaker 1: to everyone around Mimi, the boys, even myself during that
Speaker 1: first tray mester, You're gonna sleep a lot, You're gonna
Speaker 1: be nauseous, You're not gonna be hungry. We gave you space,
Speaker 1: can you can You know you absolutely did. It's kind
Speaker 1: of like that no, that that was appreciated because also
Speaker 1: to having to deal with that, you also have to
Speaker 1: be at least I know. I try to be aware
Speaker 1: of the fact that I still have my husband, I
Speaker 1: still have my three boys, I still have my mom,
Speaker 1: who are all co existing with me in this house.
Speaker 1: So there are times when I notice I don't. I
Speaker 1: know I'll be better off for everyone if I'm just
Speaker 1: off to the side to myself. And then I had
Speaker 1: moments of guilt where I felt like I can't even
Speaker 1: like mom right now. I want a mom with three
Speaker 1: boys because I just literally physically can't. It's like it's
Speaker 1: a physical thing when nobody just can't do but for
Speaker 1: you things and only lasts for six weeks Like that,
Speaker 1: that nausea, super fatigue last I would say six six,
Speaker 1: eight weeks. So the minute you get to week twelve
Speaker 1: and the second trial messages when you feel like you know,
Speaker 1: then you then you you come back to me. It's
Speaker 1: almost like you come back to life. And it's one
Speaker 1: of those things where I literally go to sleep and
Speaker 1: then wake up the next morning and I'm perfectly fine.
Speaker 1: I know some women who have that the entire pregnancy.
Speaker 1: I mean the vomiting, the nausea, and just imagine, imagine
Speaker 1: the feeling of you know, you're having a stomach ache.
Speaker 1: This is how I kind of related to guys. You
Speaker 1: have a stomach ache, You're like, man, I have that
Speaker 1: feeling like I want to throw up. I'm just nauseous.
Speaker 1: You go, you throw up, you feel better, Like, wow,
Speaker 1: I needed that and just get it out my system
Speaker 1: whatever it was, and now I'm back to normal. Morning
Speaker 1: sickness is I throw up violently. It'll be late at night, right,
Speaker 1: I'll be laying in the bed, right and I just
Speaker 1: hear like, I'm like, baby you all right? Yeah, you
Speaker 1: do that, and then you're still sick, like you're still naxious.
Speaker 1: There's no release, there's no reprieve, there's just no thing.
Speaker 1: It's just back to it. It was to the point
Speaker 1: where this time around, I was literally walking around the
Speaker 1: house dry heaving, like like out of nowhere, just dagging.
Speaker 1: And I'm just like, oh, that's just I couln't even
Speaker 1: make food. All the boys. You would be walking down
Speaker 1: the hole and all the boys just be looking at
Speaker 1: me the whole time, like did you see that. I'm like, yes,
Speaker 1: it'll be over, give a couple of weeks, she'll be fine.
Speaker 1: But all the boys just like, yo, something that mommy
Speaker 1: is like a demon right now. That's another thing too.
Speaker 1: Let me just let all of my brothers know, because
Speaker 1: I get a lot of phone calls from my friends
Speaker 1: who are first time dads um eating people on social media.
Speaker 1: It will hit me up and be like, bro, my
Speaker 1: wife is just not the same person right now, Like
Speaker 1: what is going on? They ask They're asking me like
Speaker 1: is she is she faking? Do you think she's putting on?
Speaker 1: And I honestly be telling dudes like, bro, bro, she
Speaker 1: is going through. Can you imagine just being sick for
Speaker 1: weeks at a time and being tired, but still trying
Speaker 1: to be regularly, just conduct regular, still having work, still
Speaker 1: having to be mom, still having to be a wife, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's definitely frustrating, but you can help. You can help
Speaker 1: your wife or significant oly get through those by being
Speaker 1: what I call obnoxiously nice. Right, I was talking to
Speaker 1: about this, Right, I knew from the moment you got
Speaker 1: pregnant that there was gonna come a point where you
Speaker 1: would just you know, start to get into that pregnancy mode. Right. Well,
Speaker 1: I think you even knew prior to that, because, let's
Speaker 1: be honest, there was a big discussion that was had
Speaker 1: before I even entertained the idea of how in another child,
Speaker 1: because I said to that, you know what it's like
Speaker 1: when I'm pregnant. You understand what it is. You've been there.
Speaker 1: It's a roller Look, it's a whole last roller coaster, bitch?
Speaker 1: Would you? Would you not say that? Be honest with yourself.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's it. I think I'm just trying
Speaker 1: to cope and deal with my situation the best way
Speaker 1: I can. You don't think you'd be a little bit though, No,
Speaker 1: I don't think I wouldn't. I wouldn't say it's bitchy,
Speaker 1: You're still pregnant. So I'm gonna just say okay, anyway,
Speaker 1: like I'm saying so he knew what came with the territory,
Speaker 1: is what I'm trying to say. So I literally said
Speaker 1: to him, and this is a serious conversation. I was like,
Speaker 1: do that, Devalue. You understand what it's like when I'm pregnant,
Speaker 1: particularly the first trimester and the third those are the
Speaker 1: hardest for us. I don't want to have arguments about sex.
Speaker 1: I don't want to have arguments about anything because you
Speaker 1: know what we're about to embark on. But this, and
Speaker 1: that's just what it is. But this is complain about
Speaker 1: it because we're here, because you understood this was going
Speaker 1: to come with. And I haven't complained about it. I
Speaker 1: have not complained about it. You had one or two
Speaker 1: or three moments, you know, in the past seven months
Speaker 1: seven months, and I've had three moments. There's another point, gentlemen.
Speaker 1: I will point this out. You could kiss your wife's
Speaker 1: ass literally for seven months. Let there be one day
Speaker 1: when you remind you that she didn't do something you
Speaker 1: for seven months and you don't know what I got
Speaker 1: when I've been na it's going to happen. But that
Speaker 1: to me is where and I'm not saying that it's
Speaker 1: not justified, but that's where the bitchiness comes from. But
Speaker 1: I don't even think it's an as kiss anything that
Speaker 1: necessarily needs to happen. No, not necessarily, because I don't
Speaker 1: think that's what we need in that moment. Sometimes if
Speaker 1: I said, we just need space, we need grace, we
Speaker 1: need a little understanding. Sometimes we need to be left alone,
Speaker 1: like it doesn't necessarily have to be an ask kis
Speaker 1: and thin because sometimes I don't even care if I
Speaker 1: don't see you for the day. I'm in my corner,
Speaker 1: let me hold my court out to look for me
Speaker 1: like comes next to me today, because I know if
Speaker 1: because I know, if I'm going for too long, then
Speaker 1: you start to get on. I wasn't a good wife
Speaker 1: and I can't even mom and you get guilty. And
Speaker 1: one thing is I understand this, and I'm not saying
Speaker 1: that it's not valid. I'm not saying it's not valid.
Speaker 1: The simple fact that you don't want that has to
Speaker 1: go through physical illness. You're the one that has to
Speaker 1: go through fatigue. I understand that. That's why it's my
Speaker 1: job as the husband to make sure that I'm over
Speaker 1: the top with making sure that you're okay. You get
Speaker 1: that you are very intensive but, but, but I have
Speaker 1: to make sure that I always affirm you every single
Speaker 1: day to make sure that you know that I understand
Speaker 1: what you're going through. But what I'm saying is is
Speaker 1: that even in those seven months, the one or two
Speaker 1: or three times that I had to be like, hey, babe,
Speaker 1: did you realize that you didn't do this? It was
Speaker 1: like World War three? Like like you was like say
Speaker 1: when you got that face because you wasn't trying to
Speaker 1: hear it. See how she's not trying to hear it.
Speaker 1: And the only reason why I'm bringing this up, Fellas,
Speaker 1: is so that when your girl or your wife does
Speaker 1: this to you, don't feel like it's just your girl
Speaker 1: or your wife. It's not. They're not gonna care. She's
Speaker 1: not gonna care what you didn't get or what you
Speaker 1: needed in that moment while she's carrying a baby, she's emotional, hot,
Speaker 1: and sick. She's not I understand that. That's why when
Speaker 1: we have our little debates, so I'll tell you how
Speaker 1: I feel and you don't care, and you get pissed.
Speaker 1: I don't care. I don't I'm not gonna get mad
Speaker 1: about it. I'm gonna just give you a time and
Speaker 1: let you come back. But one thing I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: do is are you and go back and forth with
Speaker 1: you when when it comes to some of these things,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you vent because I know you know
Speaker 1: what it is now, I know what it is. Half
Speaker 1: the time you miss me, I do miss my wife
Speaker 1: like miss he misses me Cadine minus the belly. I mean,
Speaker 1: what's your favorite cadein hi drunk cade? Okay? And those
Speaker 1: are two things that I can't partake him in the stage.
Speaker 1: So understand that you missed me, and it's okay. And
Speaker 1: a lot of times I'll have to be like you know,
Speaker 1: a babe there there, bring it in. I know you
Speaker 1: missed me. I missed you too. If you want me
Speaker 1: to be apologetic about missing my wife, the person I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to spend the rest of my life with for
Speaker 1: for nine to ten months, I'm not gonna be no
Speaker 1: apologize I missed my wife. I appreciate that too, because
Speaker 1: here we are just about nineteen, it's almost almost nineteen
Speaker 1: years in and you still want to rock with me,
Speaker 1: and I exactly that, And then I in turn sometimes
Speaker 1: feel bad like damn, I can't even be what you
Speaker 1: need me to be. In But that's and that's where
Speaker 1: that's where there's no debate here. And that's what I
Speaker 1: want young men or men who who are having babies
Speaker 1: for the first time to understand that this does not last.
Speaker 1: Like the arguing, the not seeing eye to eye, the hormones,
Speaker 1: the emotions, that all this stuff does not last. It stops.
Speaker 1: It stops, like and first trimester. For those first twelve weeks,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be high. Once you get to the second trimester.
Speaker 1: For the most part, some people's pregnancies are different. You,
Speaker 1: for for one, go back to normal as if you're
Speaker 1: almost not pregnant. So for those three months in between,
Speaker 1: we'd be having why would be nice? Be really really good?
Speaker 1: And then when we're gonna talk about this later and
Speaker 1: we get to the third trial mester, it goes back
Speaker 1: because that's when you're at your motor your highest, like
Speaker 1: the emotions are really there. But I think that it's
Speaker 1: important for young men and young women to understand that
Speaker 1: these emotions you're feeling with your significant other that um,
Speaker 1: I don't want to say that resentment, but that feeling
Speaker 1: like she he or she is not how they used
Speaker 1: to be. She's changing too much, he doesn't that's normal,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. I think it's awful people
Speaker 1: to know that. And it doesn't stop because then once
Speaker 1: the baby comes, there's like the fourth that people people
Speaker 1: don't talk about that post part and part and you know,
Speaker 1: we're all gonna do a podcast about the fourth trimester.
Speaker 1: We do plan on doing it because that one in particular.
Speaker 1: Really a lot of marriages change in the fourth trimester
Speaker 1: because they don't expect it. They expect when the baby
Speaker 1: comes that everything goes back to normal. But there's so
Speaker 1: much more that goes into it. But um, I do
Speaker 1: have another question for you about the first trimester. If
Speaker 1: you had to rate the trimesters from good too bad,
Speaker 1: would the first trimester be the worst? Well, the second words,
Speaker 1: because I know the second is the best one, is
Speaker 1: that which one is worth the first of the third
Speaker 1: trial mester? I think for me it's the first. It's
Speaker 1: like that that's the worst for me at least because
Speaker 1: even though it's like, you know, I don't have a
Speaker 1: belly per se or my hips aren't aching it and
Speaker 1: I'm not getting that pubic bone pressure and all that,
Speaker 1: I think the first is the worst for me just
Speaker 1: because of like that that naga sickness fatigue that I get,
Speaker 1: like I literally feel like I'm a zombie, like I
Speaker 1: cannot function. Um, I just want to be locked away.
Speaker 1: I even said to you ingest, but like for real though,
Speaker 1: like ship me to like Jamaica, that for try myself,
Speaker 1: let me go, let me go away, let me go
Speaker 1: to the island, send me to sat Vincent, sent me
Speaker 1: somewhere for those first three months. That way I can
Speaker 1: just like be to myself, not make anybody else miserable
Speaker 1: because I feel miserable in that moment. The work for you,
Speaker 1: because then you would you would feel guilt like I
Speaker 1: was away from my family. And because you always say
Speaker 1: that you feel like in that first time And a
Speaker 1: lot of this is emotions because those hormones are kicking in.
Speaker 1: She cries for everything. You know, everything makes her over
Speaker 1: the top. You often feel like because you can't do
Speaker 1: the things that are you feel like you're feeling. That's
Speaker 1: true because I wouldn't want to be um away from
Speaker 1: you guys. Trying to find the happy medium. It's like,
Speaker 1: for example, still trying to cook for the family and
Speaker 1: having severe versions to any smells while remember that I
Speaker 1: was trying to trying to make dinner for the kids.
Speaker 1: You know, they wanted to shrimp fetishing the offered or whatever.
Speaker 1: So in making it, literally midway through, it's like the
Speaker 1: smell of the garlic hit and I'm like running to
Speaker 1: the bathroom. And one time I missed it and poor Jackson,
Speaker 1: poor Jackson had to help me clean up like vomit.
Speaker 1: All three boys were like looking at me like you
Speaker 1: know what that is. But I don't want them more.
Speaker 1: We don't want Albreda anymore. Well, here's here's the thing too.
Speaker 1: I want to ask you what what would you say
Speaker 1: guys can do to help their partner go through the
Speaker 1: first timester what? What what could you say? Would be? Um?
Speaker 1: I would say if you can just figure out like
Speaker 1: it's almost like a get in where you fit in situation.
Speaker 1: That's what got us in this situation. But to shake.
Speaker 1: But you literally like where can you be of help?
Speaker 1: Where can you be of assistance? Where can you take
Speaker 1: off a load where that's one less thing to have
Speaker 1: to worry about, for example, like with you, you know
Speaker 1: that sleep is very important to me at that point
Speaker 1: in time. So sometimes you're like, all right, guys, even
Speaker 1: if if mommy falls asleep. We're going to have a
Speaker 1: movie night with the kids, and they'll at least be near,
Speaker 1: we can cuddle. Mommy's gonna be sleep. But at least
Speaker 1: it's something that may me still feel like, all right,
Speaker 1: I'm a part of the family, engaging in sometimes because
Speaker 1: you don't want to be isolated alone. You don't I
Speaker 1: don't want to be isolated from you, and like to
Speaker 1: just figure out where you fit in where there's a
Speaker 1: deficit and see how you can just make it that
Speaker 1: much easier. Like there's just so much for a level
Speaker 1: of understanding that you can't quite understand, because you will
Speaker 1: never be able to walk in our shoes and actually
Speaker 1: carry a child. But I think if you had that
Speaker 1: level of understanding and you're just like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let her rock because I just don't quite
Speaker 1: understand and it's uncharted territory for me. But clearly something's
Speaker 1: happening here because there's a major change happening, you know.
Speaker 1: I think if you allow that grace, you know, that
Speaker 1: would be probably the biggest thing, the biggest thing to
Speaker 1: help as a guy, you know, when you have someone
Speaker 1: that's having your baby. So y'all want to know how
Speaker 1: I got through this fourth pregnancy. Because you was asking
Speaker 1: me mad questions. I was about to ask you. First
Speaker 1: of all, I wanted to hear a woman's perspective agree,
Speaker 1: And I think that's very important, especially for guy's that
Speaker 1: are listening and stuff, you know, because we have a
Speaker 1: mixed audience, so it's definitely important to hear that and
Speaker 1: my perspective. Um. But for you, um, you know, you
Speaker 1: were definitely gung ho about having a fourth child, knowing
Speaker 1: fully what was gonna be, you know, a part of that.
Speaker 1: So that being said, you felt like it was still
Speaker 1: worth it to have another baby? Absolutely? Why that, um?
Speaker 1: Because I know pregnancy doesn't last forever. And I also, like,
Speaker 1: I'm a vet now this is our fourth pregnancy. I've
Speaker 1: learned too, and this is important young men and young
Speaker 1: women to understand this. Go into pregnancy with no expectations.
Speaker 1: Do not expect the child's mother to be able to
Speaker 1: do any of the things that she typically does on
Speaker 1: a daily basis, because you don't know how she's gonna feel.
Speaker 1: You don't know she's going to be nauseous, fatigued, irritable,
Speaker 1: And if you go into these situations expecting that will
Speaker 1: she'll still be able to do this. That's how you
Speaker 1: get disappointed because you don't know what to expect as
Speaker 1: long as you go into pregnancy. No one that, hey,
Speaker 1: I made this choice to create a life with this woman,
Speaker 1: and don't put any expectations on her. You can't be disappointed.
Speaker 1: And when you're not disappointed, you're able to wake up
Speaker 1: every day and be excited about what the day is
Speaker 1: to come because now you know that you know this
Speaker 1: is what I'm ready for. On top of that, be
Speaker 1: prepared to, like you said, getting where you fit in.
Speaker 1: No take over a lot of things. There were a
Speaker 1: lot of things that I typically don't take care of
Speaker 1: and don't handle that during that first trimester, I just
Speaker 1: took over from her because I didn't want her to
Speaker 1: struggle trying to do it and not do it well
Speaker 1: and then feel bad about it. Um Codeine has she
Speaker 1: she gets very guilty, and she feels like if she
Speaker 1: can't do stuff to the hundred percent, that she's not
Speaker 1: good at all doing anything. And she also feels like
Speaker 1: if she does something wrong one time, she's never done
Speaker 1: it ever right before, so and you have to understand that.
Speaker 1: Coupled that mentality with the fact that she's emotional and hormonal.
Speaker 1: It can be depressed. Control over that can be depressing
Speaker 1: a young lady. So you have to know that this
Speaker 1: is what I'm I'm signing up for. And and that's
Speaker 1: the man part of it. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: You don't get an escape from the time you get
Speaker 1: you become pregnant. You have no escape from that until
Speaker 1: the baby, and there's only one exit. There's only one.
Speaker 1: I've been having some anxiety lately because I was like,
Speaker 1: listen to that. I have moments. It just hits me
Speaker 1: randomly throughout these seven months so far. I think it's
Speaker 1: as my belly girls and the baby's growing and I'm
Speaker 1: seeing like this a whole that's human being in there.
Speaker 1: There's only one way out, and that gives me severe
Speaker 1: anxiety because I was like, wait a second, I have
Speaker 1: to Then I start to get flashbacks of like labor
Speaker 1: and birth and all that, and that's a whole another thing.
Speaker 1: Like I was literally crying the other day because I
Speaker 1: was just like, I can't believe I'm doing this again,
Speaker 1: and there's one way out. And as a man, and
Speaker 1: as a man, I never have to experience that, which
Speaker 1: is why you have to maturity and experience teaches you
Speaker 1: how to deal with all of these other things because
Speaker 1: don't got to do with that fact. But devil has
Speaker 1: his moments, y'are he not really that mature? Three times
Speaker 1: Val wants to hit me in the gym. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm walking high inclined on the treadmill, get my little
Speaker 1: workout and trying to get my heart rate up for
Speaker 1: my thirty minutes. Then this guy wants to be like, babe,
Speaker 1: how's my abs looking? Like I didn't do that. It's
Speaker 1: my back fat still. I said, you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna give him some grace because I understand that he's
Speaker 1: still working. He's a working actor, and you know, he
Speaker 1: has to maintain his physique. But sometimes it's a little
Speaker 1: difficult to hear when you don't ask you, pregnant wife,
Speaker 1: pregnant wife, how your ads looking. Don't don't do that.
Speaker 1: That's a trigger that triggers them. Don't don't do that.
Speaker 1: I was like, yours look great, let's talk about you. Yeah, waves, waves,
Speaker 1: that's going now. I've got no more waves. You know,
Speaker 1: wan't got no more waves for pregnancy. A lot of
Speaker 1: the stress that I take off of her, you know,
Speaker 1: where it goes to my follicles. My follicles is dissipated.
Speaker 1: They going, they ain't even get still. The hairline still
Speaker 1: tight though. As long as I got my hairline, I'm good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: nothing A little filler wouldn't He's all right, But you
Speaker 1: know I'm a rock with that. But um no, I
Speaker 1: just the first time mess is a beast. I just
Speaker 1: I just really want people to understand that as as
Speaker 1: a man, you have to understand what comes with it.
Speaker 1: And I'll be joking. I call it she all the time, like, oh,
Speaker 1: here comes to bitch, and she'd be like, don't call me,
Speaker 1: no fing bitch. Different? Why I sound like yo? Her
Speaker 1: voice get mad deep though I love how, I love
Speaker 1: how I have mad different voices. Sometimes I sound like
Speaker 1: I don't know, Like do you know yourself? I don't
Speaker 1: think you know yourself. You have never been married to yourself,
Speaker 1: so you don't know what I go through in here.
Speaker 1: It's like an exorcism in here. Sometimes I don't me
Speaker 1: and the kids, the kids know to ask them asking
Speaker 1: about Codeine's multiple personalities. You live in the alternate universe.
Speaker 1: No niverse, you live in the alternate universe. I don't understand.
Speaker 1: That's like, well, clearly you understand something because you're still here.
Speaker 1: So nine a year strong, October three, twenty o two.
Speaker 1: You struggling just now to the brain. That's the real thing,
Speaker 1: to y'all, baby brain. So there's just so many things
Speaker 1: happening at one time. But you know, we're rocking out.
Speaker 1: I'm excited. First mess was down, so we're gonna walk
Speaker 1: out through this process. But first we'll have to take
Speaker 1: a break, pay some bills, and when we get back,
Speaker 1: we're gonna speak to some of y'all. Ka's favorite part
Speaker 1: of this show. I know. I usually actually missed this
Speaker 1: whenever we're like on our little hiatus and we come back.
Speaker 1: I miss having our listening letters because I want to
Speaker 1: see what's going on with y'all. I mean, if we're
Speaker 1: sharing what's going on with us, it's only right that
Speaker 1: we get up in your business a little bit. So
Speaker 1: we'll be back, all right, So we're back listener letter time,
Speaker 1: or I'll have missed these, all right. I'll read number
Speaker 1: one since I'm so excited. I've been watching you guys,
Speaker 1: and it brings me joy and it's inspiring to watch.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I have been married for eleven years. August
Speaker 1: fifteen will make twelve years. Me and my husband's family
Speaker 1: is not close. We used to to be. Still, Okay,
Speaker 1: you don't you don't like periods because this is a
Speaker 1: real long all right, let's go to dial this back. No,
Speaker 1: it's literally just now clearly here we are first time. Um,
Speaker 1: not as close as we used to be. I had
Speaker 1: three miscarriages and and got shot three years ago. Oh
Speaker 1: my goodness. Please some kind of way we're gonna blame
Speaker 1: it on the baby brain, yeah, please, But no, I'm
Speaker 1: starting to feel sad for her. She's a lot of stories.
Speaker 1: This is the story she said. My mom passed away
Speaker 1: June twelve, just buried her in July. I'm just asking
Speaker 1: how I can get over the suppress. I want to
Speaker 1: start trying again for my baby. Me and my husband
Speaker 1: for two years was not doing good. But now we
Speaker 1: are trying to make it, make it work. He is
Speaker 1: listening to me more, and I'm listening to him more too,
Speaker 1: and talking. But I have been depressed. What can I
Speaker 1: do well? It's the first thing. The fact that you
Speaker 1: said you and your husband are working together and listening
Speaker 1: and communicating. That step number one, Because most most issues
Speaker 1: in any relationship, whether it's marriage, friendship, business, all start
Speaker 1: to splinter because of miscommunication. It's not even because or
Speaker 1: lack or lack thereof. It's not even because of wrong doings.
Speaker 1: It's because, oh, this person was doing this, So I thought,
Speaker 1: you don't have to think when you communicate. So the
Speaker 1: fact that they're speaking and working towards it together, I
Speaker 1: think is the first step. The second thing is she
Speaker 1: has to admit her depression to her husband. I hope
Speaker 1: that she has admitted this to her husband and trying
Speaker 1: to get help. I mean, therapy is always the thing
Speaker 1: that I'm an advocate for. You know, some people rely
Speaker 1: on different forms of therapy. We've also even you know,
Speaker 1: spoken about better help, which is on one of our
Speaker 1: sponsors here, So professional help. You have to kind of
Speaker 1: seek that sometimes. But you have been through a lot
Speaker 1: three miscarriages, you were shotting and robbery, and your mom
Speaker 1: passed away, soide, that's a lot of different events that
Speaker 1: couldn't totally trigger that. Um So, yeah, I try to
Speaker 1: and I'm happy to see that her and her husband
Speaker 1: are still together, still working on things, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, after the past two years. Um So, I
Speaker 1: think you're on the right track. Maybe just getting a
Speaker 1: little professional help, my help, um to kind of see
Speaker 1: how you can get out of this slump that you're in.
Speaker 1: And I wish you guys well, you know, miscarriages are
Speaker 1: not easy either, um. And I think once your body
Speaker 1: is kind of healed mentally, physically, um, emotionally, then it'll
Speaker 1: kind of be the powerhouse that a baby needs to
Speaker 1: thrive and grow in, because trying to be pregnant in
Speaker 1: a in a position like this when you're depressed is
Speaker 1: probably also to not the easiest thing either. And I
Speaker 1: think also you just have to make a choice to
Speaker 1: wake up and this side that you're going to be
Speaker 1: in a better space mentally. You know a lot of
Speaker 1: times people are looking for something else to pull them
Speaker 1: out of that, and realistically, there's nothing that can pull
Speaker 1: you out of that. You have to pull you out
Speaker 1: of that. So wake up in the morning and make
Speaker 1: a decision that you want to be better, and then
Speaker 1: try to find things to make you feel better. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think at this point maybe she's had ample time
Speaker 1: to grieve those losses. So good luck to you is
Speaker 1: if bang number two I got you baby, all right,
Speaker 1: you just chill with your little pregnant self. Alright, you
Speaker 1: two over there, I'm doing the podcast. It's the first
Speaker 1: child doing the podcast with yes, yes baby boy. Alright,
Speaker 1: hey guys. First thing first, I love you. We love
Speaker 1: you too. Okay, so here's my little problem. Boom. This
Speaker 1: person is from New York. Check checking. My boyfriend of
Speaker 1: three years. We broke up once. We broke up once,
Speaker 1: but remain friends but still did. The usual is getting
Speaker 1: but still did the usually. God damnit, people, let me
Speaker 1: explain something to you, pussa. It's very import but we
Speaker 1: still remain friends. Still we did. The usual is getting
Speaker 1: fake married in order to help someone get their citizenship?
Speaker 1: Is that the usual? I mean all right, I just
Speaker 1: found out weeks eight weeks pregnant, and I'm stuck and
Speaker 1: don't know what to do. So let me read this
Speaker 1: all over again. Boom, my boyfriend of three years. We
Speaker 1: broke up once, but remained friends, but still did. The
Speaker 1: usual is getting fake married in order to help someone
Speaker 1: get their citizenship. I just found out eight weeks pregnant,
Speaker 1: and I'm stuck and don't know what to do. Okay,
Speaker 1: So what I'm trying to decipher here is is she pregnant?
Speaker 1: For the person that she married for the citizenship or
Speaker 1: is she pregnant for her boyfriend? So what I'm thinking
Speaker 1: is Boom her boyfriend of three years they broke up
Speaker 1: but friends, but since they friends, he was like, YO,
Speaker 1: married me, so I get my citizenship boyfriend, right, which
Speaker 1: she did, but then got pregnant. Now one person. So
Speaker 1: now she's pregnant and married to the same dude that
Speaker 1: was Boom once her boyfriend, but now Boom about to
Speaker 1: be her baby daddy, her husband. She says, I'm stuck.
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do mean either, like you stuck? MA? Like,
Speaker 1: uh so, where are we stuck? Are we stuck with
Speaker 1: wanting to have this baby or not have this baby?
Speaker 1: Are we stuck with wanting to be married? Or are
Speaker 1: you married? Because you said they got married fake married
Speaker 1: for the citizenship? Right? So is this like a fake love,
Speaker 1: fake relationship? Are we rocking with him because we really
Speaker 1: like him even though you guys were dating. You might
Speaker 1: need the sense of clarity, Sis, no, no, no, I
Speaker 1: got this. I got to check this. Watch me break
Speaker 1: this down. Find out exactly how long you got to
Speaker 1: be married for the citizenship to stay in place? All right?
Speaker 1: Once you find that out, you make a decision about
Speaker 1: the rest of your life based on you in jail,
Speaker 1: because if you get caught get married for your citizenship,
Speaker 1: one you can go to jail. Number two, you can
Speaker 1: be deported. And those are two things you don't want
Speaker 1: to figure those two things out first. After that, make
Speaker 1: a decision of whether you want to keep the baby,
Speaker 1: because that's also a woman's choice, and stay married. I
Speaker 1: can't tell you what to do. I can't tell you
Speaker 1: what's best for you. Only you know. What I will
Speaker 1: tell you is this, don't get that as deported and
Speaker 1: don't get that as locked up. So figure those two
Speaker 1: things out first and then make a decision for yourself.
Speaker 1: That's a fact. Or you can send some clarity our
Speaker 1: way and let us know we can further because we're
Speaker 1: guessing right now. We don't know what's really happened. Impossible
Speaker 1: situation and some hypotheticals, but it sounds like something that
Speaker 1: will be sisters. It does, it does. This is definitely
Speaker 1: handy pregnant, and they really made a fake married because
Speaker 1: Gary ain't really a citizen. Oh plot twist. I like
Speaker 1: the little plug for your show. It was cute. It
Speaker 1: was cute. I'll watch every Wednesday, not p n B two.
Speaker 1: There you go, Zach Team Zack teams a team up.
Speaker 1: Al Right, well, if you want to be featured as
Speaker 1: one of our listener letters, y'all, make sure you email
Speaker 1: us at dead as sid Advice at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: That's d E A D A S S A d
Speaker 1: v I C at gmail dot com. C E, you
Speaker 1: missed the miss you missed the Let me try that
Speaker 1: one more time. Wound. That's d E A D A
Speaker 1: S S A d V I C E at Gmail.
Speaker 1: There you go. You can't be talking to people punctuation
Speaker 1: and whatnot and then you're spelling it. Just in case
Speaker 1: when your pregnant wife tell you didn't say to rewind
Speaker 1: the tape, you just say the rewind the tape. Learn
Speaker 1: how to say this whatever you want, babe. It's my
Speaker 1: favorite words. It's my favorite phrase, all right, Moment of
Speaker 1: truth time phrases. Yes, let us know what your moment
Speaker 1: of baby, moment of truth. I know, I know, I
Speaker 1: know a moment of truth. Right, So, dealing with the
Speaker 1: first trimester, pregnancy and all that um through every trimester,
Speaker 1: and of course we're talking about the first um. Just
Speaker 1: gratitude is something that I always try to remember because, um,
Speaker 1: like I said at the end of last season, you know,
Speaker 1: thinking of people who are trying to conceive or having
Speaker 1: issues and things like that, sometimes you kind of feel
Speaker 1: insensitive when you complain about being in the moment, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Um, but I do feel like
Speaker 1: you can coexist in the space of gratitude but also
Speaker 1: being truthful and being honest about how you feel and
Speaker 1: about the changes that are taking place in your body.
Speaker 1: So I never wanted to be misconstrued where it's just like, well,
Speaker 1: you x to be pregnant again, you wanted this again,
Speaker 1: You've prayed for this baby. You know you and your
Speaker 1: husband planned this out, and here y'all are complaining. I
Speaker 1: just want to make clear that people know this is
Speaker 1: not a session to complain or to be a bitch
Speaker 1: and moan, but it's rather to share the truth about it,
Speaker 1: to share our experience, because we know the record has shown,
Speaker 1: at least in our podcast, that we're not the ones
Speaker 1: that feel not the only ones that feel the way
Speaker 1: we feel regardless of the topic. We've had so many
Speaker 1: people that have reached out to say, you guys have
Speaker 1: saved my marriage or I'm so happy to know that
Speaker 1: I'm not the only one that feels this way. So
Speaker 1: it's it's okay to exist in the space of gratitude
Speaker 1: while simultaneously being truthful and being honest about the way
Speaker 1: you feel in the moment being pregnant. So that's my
Speaker 1: moment of truth for today. That well, my moment of truth.
Speaker 1: Um first and start and start. I want to go
Speaker 1: back to this is our rainbow baby. Before last year
Speaker 1: this time, we had lost um a child right after
Speaker 1: trying to conceive in the summertime. So with that being said,
Speaker 1: it puts things into perspective. Your wife is gonna be tired,
Speaker 1: she's going to be irritable, um, she's going to be
Speaker 1: in a bad mood, she's gonna be nauseous. But there
Speaker 1: are so many people who can't conceive and who can't
Speaker 1: carry babies full term. As a as a man, I
Speaker 1: feel honored that my wife can. So anything that my
Speaker 1: wife is going through, I take pride in knowing that
Speaker 1: I'm gonna help her through that process, even if it
Speaker 1: can be annoying and and not for nothing. Another moment
Speaker 1: of truth. It's okay, young man or older man who's
Speaker 1: having a baby the first time to feel a little annoyed,
Speaker 1: but knowing that it's your job because you're you're human.
Speaker 1: And I know some of you guys watch me on
Speaker 1: social media and I show me having a good time
Speaker 1: with my kids and enjoying pregnancy. And I do enjoy
Speaker 1: my wife and and my my family. But if you
Speaker 1: ever feel like you don't always feel at your best
Speaker 1: because you don't understand something, don't feel like you're less standing. Man.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying because I have those same feelings.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I wake up and I just feel like they
Speaker 1: am I in the mood to be extra jovial today,
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes I'm going through my own things. So um,
Speaker 1: pick your pick your moments where you need to be
Speaker 1: honest with your wife or your significant otherwise she's pregnant,
Speaker 1: let him know how you feel. But it is your
Speaker 1: responsibility to carry the burden of the emotional toll of
Speaker 1: having a baby's going to have on your wife, especially
Speaker 1: in the first trimester. That is your only job. You
Speaker 1: can't carry the baby, you can't give your wife a break.
Speaker 1: So bro, you just gotta deal with it. That's my
Speaker 1: moment of truth. Deal with that ship. It will get
Speaker 1: better and you will reap the benefits ten months later,
Speaker 1: that's a fact. Yes, good job, Ellen's stap me up. Yes,
Speaker 1: So I'm happy to be back. I'm happy to be
Speaker 1: back to And it was almost the thing where we
Speaker 1: were kind of watching the calendar and we're like, oh, shoot,
Speaker 1: we gotta come back so we can give you all
Speaker 1: some stuff to listen to it to watch while I
Speaker 1: go ahead this baby, how about that? So be sure
Speaker 1: to follow us y'all on social media. We also do
Speaker 1: little little things there as well, or you can kind
Speaker 1: of keep up with us on a day to day basis. Um.
Speaker 1: But of course that as the podcast and I'm Cadine,
Speaker 1: I am and I am devouted. If you're listening on
Speaker 1: Apple podcasts, be sure to rate, review, and subscribe, y'all.
Speaker 1: We're dead Ass is a production of I Heart Media
Speaker 1: podcast Network and is produced by Dinorapinia and Triple Follow
Speaker 1: the podcast on social media at dead as to Podcasts
Speaker 1: and never miss a Thing