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Speaker 1: Okay, you wild pregnant son, really pregnant. However that first

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Speaker 1: trimester though, h it's different, different the fourth time around.

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Speaker 1: Dead Ass. Hey, I'm Cadine and we're the Ellises. You

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Speaker 1: may know us from posting funny videos with our boys

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Speaker 1: and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait,

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Speaker 1: I'll make you need therapy most days. Wow. And one

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Speaker 1: more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes, sir, we are.

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Speaker 1: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of

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Speaker 1: life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to

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Speaker 1: talk about through the lens of a millennium married couple.

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Speaker 1: Dead As is the term that we say every day.

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Speaker 1: So when we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts,

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Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

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Speaker 1: Were about to take Philows off to a whole new level.

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Speaker 1: Dead Ass starts right now. So you have a story

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Speaker 1: time for us, because we have lots of stories. Guys.

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Speaker 1: I feel like this season is going to be loaded

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Speaker 1: with just mad stories because we kind of felt like

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Speaker 1: we should just you know, we do random topics in

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Speaker 1: the past. Season's cover different things, but we kind of

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Speaker 1: feel like we wanted to bring you out on this

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Speaker 1: journey with us, you know, last baby, the last of

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Speaker 1: the Ellis of the Mohicans. I am saying this. We

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Speaker 1: are done on the record. I feel like we've said

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Speaker 1: this before though, but this time, like I said, the

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Speaker 1: fourth time, it's different. So that being said, um, we

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Speaker 1: got stories that we want to kind of just tell

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Speaker 1: and share in the process and the journey. I feel like,

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Speaker 1: you know, having children and pregnancy are always going to

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Speaker 1: be hot button topics because there's always babies being born

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Speaker 1: and people always out there getting it on, loving on

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Speaker 1: each other and in each other. So that being said,

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Speaker 1: story time war this new home that we purchased for

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Speaker 1: our kids, of course, and Codeine let me know that

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Speaker 1: she's pregnant. So now that we know that we're having

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Speaker 1: another child, of course, Codein wants to know right away

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Speaker 1: if we're having a boy or a girl. And at

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Speaker 1: this point, y'all know, now we've got four Kings coming baby,

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Speaker 1: four Kings baby, he's the King Baker. But at the

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Speaker 1: time we didn't know who had and uh, Codein had

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Speaker 1: got this this little thing called sneak peek where they

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Speaker 1: say of the time they're right and it's at home

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Speaker 1: gender tests. So this is something that I just happened

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Speaker 1: to hear about through another person that I know that

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Speaker 1: used it, and it was right for her. So I'm like,

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Speaker 1: all right, you know, and at this point in time,

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Speaker 1: I just I couldn't wait, Like normally I'm the one

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Speaker 1: that likes the surprise, but she couldn't time. I was like,

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Speaker 1: I need to know, like now, so now this was

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Speaker 1: this was around how many weeks was this? I want

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Speaker 1: to say it was around ten weeks, around ten weeks.

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Speaker 1: So with the ten week marks, she's right in the

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Speaker 1: middle of the nausea part of it, you know. Just

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Speaker 1: so you guys know, the first six weeks of pregnancy,

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Speaker 1: there's not much ledge as your body is starting to

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Speaker 1: make the change. But once you get to six, from

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Speaker 1: six to twelve, so this is week ten, she's in

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Speaker 1: the middle of NAGA. So she's not eating, she's you know,

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Speaker 1: feeling all kind of funny and stuff. And we were still,

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Speaker 1: you know, being intimate. This was this was our thing.

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Speaker 1: We still tempting, attempting to be right. So goes your babe,

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Speaker 1: all right, I got you tonight. I'm gonna make sure

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Speaker 1: you get I'm gonna take care of you. But before

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Speaker 1: I do that I'm going take this test, the sneak

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Speaker 1: Peak test. Now, in the sneak Peak tests, you can't

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Speaker 1: have no test star stone extra test stars thrown around

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Speaker 1: you at all. No, I'm not supposed to be in

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Speaker 1: the room now, I'm not supposed to be anywhere. So

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Speaker 1: that she can take the test. What she has to

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Speaker 1: do is prick her finger, put the blood drops into

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Speaker 1: the little vial, She closed it up, send it off,

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Speaker 1: mailing in boom. She gets the results back. So I

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Speaker 1: go in the room. I'm butt naked, laying on the

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Speaker 1: bed waiting for my wife to come out because she

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Speaker 1: says she got me. After about say, seventeen minutes. All

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Speaker 1: I hair out the bathroom is babe, babe, And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I love how I sound like a wounded every time,

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Speaker 1: and that's actually calling me bag. So I'm like, oh God,

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Speaker 1: what's wrong with this woman? So I'll go in the

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Speaker 1: bathroom and she's like, okay, okay, okay, stand back, stand back,

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Speaker 1: because you can't be around none of the products. So

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Speaker 1: I'm standing back, but I'm like, what do you want?

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Speaker 1: I'm naked. She naked, right, So she's in the mirror

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Speaker 1: and she she has the needle right, and she got

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Speaker 1: a rubber band around her finger so she can get

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Speaker 1: the blood out her finger. I said, genius, you gotta

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Speaker 1: take the tourniquet so that the blood will flow. She's

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Speaker 1: because there's no black coming. There's no black coming, so

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Speaker 1: I thought I had to sticking up. She's stabbing the

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Speaker 1: ship out of her finger and ain't no blood coming out.

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Speaker 1: Then she takes the rubb a ban off and like

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Speaker 1: one little, tiny little speck of blood starts to come out.

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Speaker 1: So now I'm standing behind her and she's just like

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Speaker 1: it's trying to feel hot. She's like feeling I'm not

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Speaker 1: supposed to be next to her. I walk up behind

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Speaker 1: her and she kind of puts her head back on

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Speaker 1: my chest right and talking at my hand. One little

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Speaker 1: blood drop, one little blood drop from her finger is

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Speaker 1: like falling, falling, fallen. She's like, so finally she took

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Speaker 1: the one little blood drop, put it in the vial

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Speaker 1: and she goes, whoof, And that's what cane? Are you serious?

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Speaker 1: That was one drop of blood. I'm queasy. So then

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at her and then I feel hers go

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Speaker 1: limp coneine. Then passed out in my arms, naked, but

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Speaker 1: her left hand is still in the air because she

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Speaker 1: don't want me or the blood to get anywhere near me, right,

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Speaker 1: So I'm like can So she's like huh. She wakes

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Speaker 1: up right and I'm like you okay, and she goes yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: passes out again. Right. So now I'm naked. She naked. It.

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Speaker 1: I'm sliding her because I got her in my arms.

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Speaker 1: Her fingers still up in the air. Though I'm sliding her,

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Speaker 1: I throw on the bed. I'm on medium because my

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Speaker 1: my dick is running down her back. She naked. I'm

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Speaker 1: still trying to get something right. She laying in the

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Speaker 1: bed with her finger in the air, and she's like,

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Speaker 1: I'm just fine, I'm fine. I just I need some water.

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Speaker 1: I need some water. So I'm like all of this

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Speaker 1: to find out what we haven't. She sits there with

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Speaker 1: her finger up in the air for about seven minutes.

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Speaker 1: Then we got this mattress, the mattress you made me

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Speaker 1: buy with the remote. So I set her up in

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Speaker 1: the mattress. Right, So now she's like, she come up,

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Speaker 1: kicks her feet up the side, she walks back in there.

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Speaker 1: I walk with her, and then she sticks her finger

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Speaker 1: and the thing gets a little bit of blood. Out

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Speaker 1: closes it we ain't getting, we ain't getting. There was

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Speaker 1: no no chitty chitty bang bang. That night she went

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Speaker 1: to sleep, right, and then about how long it was?

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Speaker 1: About six days? No, I think I did the rap

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Speaker 1: it once, so it was like three days. Three days.

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Speaker 1: She's like, I got an email from them, right. The

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Speaker 1: email opens up and it says it it's a boy.

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Speaker 1: The first thing she does is look at me and go,

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Speaker 1: you supposed to even be in the bathroom now, believe it.

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Speaker 1: And she got pissed at me. And I'm just sitting

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Speaker 1: there like you would have. You would have passed out

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Speaker 1: and bend your head on the floor, But all you

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Speaker 1: care about is me contaminating the test. And at that

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Speaker 1: point I was like, that serves me right, My dumbass

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Speaker 1: should have just waited for the blood test that week

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Speaker 1: because I got it done in ten weeks anyway, because

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm over thirty five now and they cleaned

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Speaker 1: that that's like a older pregnancy. So but she blamed me.

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Speaker 1: That's and And the funny thing is the microcosm of

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Speaker 1: this whole story is no matter what goes on with

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Speaker 1: her life, from the moment she finds out she's pregnant

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Speaker 1: until she gives birth is my fault. That is the

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Speaker 1: whole the story. I'm gonna dedicate this song to my baby.

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Speaker 1: You better do all the singing because listen, I know

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Speaker 1: you ain't gonna. I think I'm gonna remind me every

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Speaker 1: single day, like I don't know, eute give you this intro. Mhm,

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Speaker 1: thin mean love so many things I got to tell you.

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Speaker 1: But I'm afraid I do know because there's a posibility

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Speaker 1: that you look at me differently, love like a song.

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Speaker 1: Ever since the first moment I spoke your name, because

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Speaker 1: then I knew that by you being in my life,

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Speaker 1: these with destined to change. Love you better saying look

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Speaker 1: at you alright, great, that awesome. But I know I

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Speaker 1: love you though, that's a fact. I know I'm doing

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Speaker 1: this for a fourth time. Versa I love you. I

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Speaker 1: would say that we have definitely been loving on each other, yes,

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Speaker 1: development loving in me, clearly, loving on the outside. Clearly.

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Speaker 1: There's no polite way to sit now, y'all. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: so should I position? Yeah, but at the ankles though,

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Speaker 1: because I'm not, I can't quite You're pregnant, may don't

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Speaker 1: nobody care pregnant? For the fourth time on you. Alright,

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Speaker 1: so we're talking first trimester. For trimester is technically like

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Speaker 1: that first thirteen weeks according to the timeline of pregnancy, right. Um.

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Speaker 1: And it's funny because I see here Triple Pudding that

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Speaker 1: it's the sneakiest of them all. It really is, because

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Speaker 1: it's kind of like some people know they're pregnant and

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Speaker 1: people don't, and then some people have these sicknesses and

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Speaker 1: then some people don't. So, um, it's a time when

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Speaker 1: you kind of you're not gonna look pregnant, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean, Like you have that moment where you

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Speaker 1: kind of look like you might have gained a little weight,

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Speaker 1: You look a little bloated. So it's like your body

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Speaker 1: is going through all these changes you're not really saying

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Speaker 1: to anyone yet. You may not have announced it to

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Speaker 1: people that you're pregnant, but there's so many different changes

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Speaker 1: that you're feeling. So your body is flooded with hormones,

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Speaker 1: and there's like a gamut of symptoms that start to

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Speaker 1: kick in once that riseing hormone level hits, and you

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Speaker 1: and your partner we're looking at each other like, so

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Speaker 1: what do we do now? Because I definitely had his moments.

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Speaker 1: So when you think about it, you have no moments.

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Speaker 1: I knew what to expect, but this time else but

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Speaker 1: in the game now. But think about like the first

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Speaker 1: time around. The first time around, you were really just like, yo,

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Speaker 1: this is crazy. Yeah, the first time I you know

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Speaker 1: what to expect exactly. It's important that people know that

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Speaker 1: not knowing what to expect doesn't mean that you're a

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Speaker 1: bad partner of first time people. It's uncharted territory for

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Speaker 1: some people, you know what I mean. So with the

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Speaker 1: body of the first signs of pregnancy, you have swollen,

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Speaker 1: tender breasts. You know, nobody really shies away from that,

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Speaker 1: though we welcome the moves um nausea with or without vomiting,

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Speaker 1: increase your nation food cravings, and diversion constipation. This time around, well,

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Speaker 1: I mean after last season when our episode We Kid

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Speaker 1: Could Fury yea introduced to my bottels in a very

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Speaker 1: very strange way. Um, hey, I owned it. It happened.

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Speaker 1: If you don't know what I'm referring, So you got

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Speaker 1: to go by to our Kids Kid Fury episode five. Yeah, see,

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Speaker 1: baby brain, that's another thing that happens all throughout pregnancy. Um,

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Speaker 1: and your emotions. Everything is all over the place. You know,

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Speaker 1: prenatal care is now something that you have to actively

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Speaker 1: seek and there's just so many things that are happening

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Speaker 1: and when you think about it, Okay, the baby's growth

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Speaker 1: during the first time, I sid let me tell you

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Speaker 1: what my body does on a day to day basis.

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Speaker 1: We're over here making bones. Okay, my body is making bones.

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Speaker 1: My body is making hair, nails, skin, a whole digestive system,

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Speaker 1: sense of touch, eyesight, a heart, and my favorite can

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Speaker 1: ask a question for your question. They'd be like a

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Speaker 1: baby can see color in a third week? Right? How

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Speaker 1: they know? They didn't ask babies you was in u

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Speaker 1: to row, when you was in there, when when did

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Speaker 1: you start seeing color? We've pulled a hundred babies, a

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Speaker 1: hundred of penises, some of them. But you know what's

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Speaker 1: the most impressive part from me? All I have to

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Speaker 1: say now that we know that we're having another boy,

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Speaker 1: we have four whole kings. My body makes penises. That

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Speaker 1: it's my superpower. Listenbody asked me, what's my superpower? I

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Speaker 1: makee penises like you're welcome. You're welcome. Thing's gonna going

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Speaker 1: around to the kids schools and telling the kids what

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Speaker 1: you do is your superpower. Superpower is that I make

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Speaker 1: penises and that's just what it is, you know. So, um,

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Speaker 1: you know we're talking about how to kind of help

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Speaker 1: your partner through that first trimester, all that good stuff. Um,

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Speaker 1: there's so many different things. There's so many different way.

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Speaker 1: The first thing is that the emotions is real, like

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Speaker 1: like dudes. When she's I think like Connie. I remember

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Speaker 1: when I first came home. We were living in the apartment.

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Speaker 1: There's a first trimester with Jackson. She opened the door.

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Speaker 1: I came back late from the gym, and um, she

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Speaker 1: was like hey baby, and I was like, what's up.

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Speaker 1: What's up? You know? She said nothing. She's like, um,

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Speaker 1: you're hungry. I'm like yeah, she said what do you want?

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Speaker 1: I was like, I was like a sandwich. She was

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Speaker 1: like and I was like, what do you think the

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Speaker 1: car cry you want to? And I was like, oh gosh,

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Speaker 1: this is what I'm in store for. That was the

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Speaker 1: first draw. But you did well. He said you should

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Speaker 1: do stay calm, Stay calm, because I didn't know what

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Speaker 1: to expect you ever come And then she's inside start cooking.

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Speaker 1: So people start cooking because the sense of smell makes

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Speaker 1: pregnant women feel encourage healthy life choices, to make sure

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Speaker 1: that I'm healthy, I'm walking, and I'm working out. So

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Speaker 1: it's a support for me. Guys. That's honestly what it

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Speaker 1: was in that first time. Mster. For sure, you look

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Speaker 1: like you're waiting for this, this segment the meat of

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Speaker 1: the show. Yes, this is this is the meat of

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Speaker 1: the show, the meat of the show. A lot of

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Speaker 1: experience with me that the fact clearly, So, Um, I

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Speaker 1: have some questions for my wife. Since we're gonna do this,

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Speaker 1: we do this podcast. You know, we'd like to read

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Speaker 1: each other publicly. You want to have another baby, right,

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Speaker 1: you wanted to get pregnant, right. We agreed to this collectively,

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Speaker 1: collectively two of us. It was it was it was

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Speaker 1: heavy on the devout influence. Okay, okay, we can admit that.

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Speaker 1: But it was kind of like, all right, I had

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Speaker 1: I can entertain the idea, and I did. So here

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Speaker 1: we are. So my question is, which I know a

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Speaker 1: lot of men have for their wives or mothers of

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Speaker 1: the children. M why do y'all blame us after the fact,

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Speaker 1: like y'all did not contribute to what's happening why y'all

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Speaker 1: act like y'all were shocked at surprise, had no clue

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Speaker 1: what was happening, and now was just at That's super

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Speaker 1: easy for you to say when you just completely remain

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Speaker 1: normal and it babe the entire time, you guys have

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Speaker 1: no idea what happens to the party for that entire

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Speaker 1: nine well technically ten month period and then postpartum blame Eve.

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Speaker 1: Eve made Adam the apple and that's why you got

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Speaker 1: to deal with pregnancy and labor. God told you leave

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Speaker 1: leave the apple alone. But no, no, anyway, So I

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Speaker 1: think anybody, of course, naturally the idea of like bringing

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Speaker 1: life into this world and having a baby is a

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Speaker 1: joyous occasion, right, But when it starts to hit, you

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Speaker 1: know the symptoms, the morning sickness, the fatigue, the nausea,

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Speaker 1: all of that stuff. It's just explain to the male

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Speaker 1: listeners who may not know, because I know I've watched

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Speaker 1: you go through a four times, what is the first

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Speaker 1: trimester of pregnancy, like I would say, I mean, of course,

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Speaker 1: everyone's experience is different, so I'll throw that out there first,

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Speaker 1: because some women say they experienced nothing and they're perfectly fine.

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Speaker 1: So people don't even know that they're pregnant in the

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Speaker 1: entire first trimester and then completely find out after the

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Speaker 1: fact um, whereas with me, for example, I just know instantly,

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Speaker 1: like the minute I'm find out I'm pregnant, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh yeah. And part of me thought like is it mental?

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Speaker 1: Like oh, just because you know you're pregnant, you're trying

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Speaker 1: to like you know, mentally, and it's like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: am I sick? No, because you know you have you know,

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Speaker 1: COVID for example, it's like, oh god, I'm starting to

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Speaker 1: feel all the symptoms because I was exposed or whatever.

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Speaker 1: But no, it's um. It's one of those things that

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Speaker 1: it's almost like an immediate change to your body. So

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Speaker 1: that first trimester is the most important, especially for this

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Speaker 1: growing person, because they're all of the different cells and

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Speaker 1: all of the different Like this is the most vital

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Speaker 1: point in the pregnancy because everything is forming, so your

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Speaker 1: body is literally working on overdrive. And then you still

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Speaker 1: have to continue to conduct life as if nothing's happening,

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Speaker 1: because it's not like you're ill or have a condition

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Speaker 1: per se. But this is just part of the process

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Speaker 1: and and and not for nothing. This is where I

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Speaker 1: think being a responsible respectable partner comes to play as

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Speaker 1: a husband, right because I already know how the first

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Speaker 1: try messages hit you. So I made it very clear

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Speaker 1: to everyone around Mimi, the boys, even myself during that

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Speaker 1: first tray mester, You're gonna sleep a lot, You're gonna

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Speaker 1: be nauseous, You're not gonna be hungry. We gave you space,

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Speaker 1: can you can You know you absolutely did. It's kind

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Speaker 1: of like that no, that that was appreciated because also

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Speaker 1: to having to deal with that, you also have to

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Speaker 1: be at least I know. I try to be aware

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Speaker 1: of the fact that I still have my husband, I

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Speaker 1: still have my three boys, I still have my mom,

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Speaker 1: who are all co existing with me in this house.

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Speaker 1: So there are times when I notice I don't. I

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Speaker 1: know I'll be better off for everyone if I'm just

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Speaker 1: off to the side to myself. And then I had

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Speaker 1: moments of guilt where I felt like I can't even

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Speaker 1: like mom right now. I want a mom with three

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Speaker 1: boys because I just literally physically can't. It's like it's

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Speaker 1: a physical thing when nobody just can't do but for

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Speaker 1: you things and only lasts for six weeks Like that,

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Speaker 1: that nausea, super fatigue last I would say six six,

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Speaker 1: eight weeks. So the minute you get to week twelve

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Speaker 1: and the second trial messages when you feel like you know,

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Speaker 1: then you then you you come back to me. It's

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Speaker 1: almost like you come back to life. And it's one

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Speaker 1: of those things where I literally go to sleep and

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Speaker 1: then wake up the next morning and I'm perfectly fine.

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Speaker 1: I know some women who have that the entire pregnancy.

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Speaker 1: I mean the vomiting, the nausea, and just imagine, imagine

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Speaker 1: the feeling of you know, you're having a stomach ache.

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Speaker 1: This is how I kind of related to guys. You

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Speaker 1: have a stomach ache, You're like, man, I have that

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Speaker 1: feeling like I want to throw up. I'm just nauseous.

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Speaker 1: You go, you throw up, you feel better, Like, wow,

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Speaker 1: I needed that and just get it out my system

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Speaker 1: whatever it was, and now I'm back to normal. Morning

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Speaker 1: sickness is I throw up violently. It'll be late at night, right,

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Speaker 1: I'll be laying in the bed, right and I just

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Speaker 1: hear like, I'm like, baby you all right? Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: do that, and then you're still sick, like you're still naxious.

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Speaker 1: There's no release, there's no reprieve, there's just no thing.

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Speaker 1: It's just back to it. It was to the point

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Speaker 1: where this time around, I was literally walking around the

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Speaker 1: house dry heaving, like like out of nowhere, just dagging.

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Speaker 1: And I'm just like, oh, that's just I couln't even

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Speaker 1: make food. All the boys. You would be walking down

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Speaker 1: the hole and all the boys just be looking at

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Speaker 1: me the whole time, like did you see that. I'm like, yes,

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Speaker 1: it'll be over, give a couple of weeks, she'll be fine.

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Speaker 1: But all the boys just like, yo, something that mommy

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Speaker 1: is like a demon right now. That's another thing too.

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Speaker 1: Let me just let all of my brothers know, because

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Speaker 1: I get a lot of phone calls from my friends

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Speaker 1: who are first time dads um eating people on social media.

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Speaker 1: It will hit me up and be like, bro, my

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Speaker 1: wife is just not the same person right now, Like

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Speaker 1: what is going on? They ask They're asking me like

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Speaker 1: is she is she faking? Do you think she's putting on?

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Speaker 1: And I honestly be telling dudes like, bro, bro, she

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Speaker 1: is going through. Can you imagine just being sick for

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Speaker 1: weeks at a time and being tired, but still trying

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Speaker 1: to be regularly, just conduct regular, still having work, still

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Speaker 1: having to be mom, still having to be a wife, like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's definitely frustrating, but you can help. You can help

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Speaker 1: your wife or significant oly get through those by being

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Speaker 1: what I call obnoxiously nice. Right, I was talking to

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Speaker 1: about this, Right, I knew from the moment you got

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Speaker 1: pregnant that there was gonna come a point where you

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Speaker 1: would just you know, start to get into that pregnancy mode. Right. Well,

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Speaker 1: I think you even knew prior to that, because, let's

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Speaker 1: be honest, there was a big discussion that was had

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Speaker 1: before I even entertained the idea of how in another child,

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Speaker 1: because I said to that, you know what it's like

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Speaker 1: when I'm pregnant. You understand what it is. You've been there.

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Speaker 1: It's a roller Look, it's a whole last roller coaster, bitch?

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Speaker 1: Would you? Would you not say that? Be honest with yourself.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that's it. I think I'm just trying

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Speaker 1: to cope and deal with my situation the best way

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Speaker 1: I can. You don't think you'd be a little bit though, No,

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Speaker 1: I don't think I wouldn't. I wouldn't say it's bitchy,

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Speaker 1: You're still pregnant. So I'm gonna just say okay, anyway,

389
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Speaker 1: like I'm saying so he knew what came with the territory,

390
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Speaker 1: is what I'm trying to say. So I literally said

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Speaker 1: to him, and this is a serious conversation. I was like,

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Speaker 1: do that, Devalue. You understand what it's like when I'm pregnant,

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Speaker 1: particularly the first trimester and the third those are the

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Speaker 1: hardest for us. I don't want to have arguments about sex.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to have arguments about anything because you

396
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:58,240
Speaker 1: know what we're about to embark on. But this, and

397
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Speaker 1: that's just what it is. But this is complain about

398
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Speaker 1: it because we're here, because you understood this was going

399
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Speaker 1: to come with. And I haven't complained about it. I

400
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,479
Speaker 1: have not complained about it. You had one or two

401
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Speaker 1: or three moments, you know, in the past seven months

402
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Speaker 1: seven months, and I've had three moments. There's another point, gentlemen.

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Speaker 1: I will point this out. You could kiss your wife's

404
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:23,920
Speaker 1: ass literally for seven months. Let there be one day

405
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Speaker 1: when you remind you that she didn't do something you

406
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Speaker 1: for seven months and you don't know what I got

407
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Speaker 1: when I've been na it's going to happen. But that

408
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Speaker 1: to me is where and I'm not saying that it's

409
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Speaker 1: not justified, but that's where the bitchiness comes from. But

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Speaker 1: I don't even think it's an as kiss anything that

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Speaker 1: necessarily needs to happen. No, not necessarily, because I don't

412
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Speaker 1: think that's what we need in that moment. Sometimes if

413
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Speaker 1: I said, we just need space, we need grace, we

414
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Speaker 1: need a little understanding. Sometimes we need to be left alone,

415
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,159
Speaker 1: like it doesn't necessarily have to be an ask kis

416
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Speaker 1: and thin because sometimes I don't even care if I

417
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Speaker 1: don't see you for the day. I'm in my corner,

418
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Speaker 1: let me hold my court out to look for me

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Speaker 1: like comes next to me today, because I know if

420
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Speaker 1: because I know, if I'm going for too long, then

421
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Speaker 1: you start to get on. I wasn't a good wife

422
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,879
Speaker 1: and I can't even mom and you get guilty. And

423
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,400
Speaker 1: one thing is I understand this, and I'm not saying

424
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,240
Speaker 1: that it's not valid. I'm not saying it's not valid.

425
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:25,960
Speaker 1: The simple fact that you don't want that has to

426
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:28,000
Speaker 1: go through physical illness. You're the one that has to

427
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 1: go through fatigue. I understand that. That's why it's my

428
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,520
Speaker 1: job as the husband to make sure that I'm over

429
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 1: the top with making sure that you're okay. You get

430
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 1: that you are very intensive but, but, but I have

431
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,919
Speaker 1: to make sure that I always affirm you every single

432
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 1: day to make sure that you know that I understand

433
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 1: what you're going through. But what I'm saying is is

434
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 1: that even in those seven months, the one or two

435
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 1: or three times that I had to be like, hey, babe,

436
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 1: did you realize that you didn't do this? It was

437
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 1: like World War three? Like like you was like say

438
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,639
Speaker 1: when you got that face because you wasn't trying to

439
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 1: hear it. See how she's not trying to hear it.

440
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 1: And the only reason why I'm bringing this up, Fellas,

441
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,000
Speaker 1: is so that when your girl or your wife does

442
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 1: this to you, don't feel like it's just your girl

443
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 1: or your wife. It's not. They're not gonna care. She's

444
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,840
Speaker 1: not gonna care what you didn't get or what you

445
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 1: needed in that moment while she's carrying a baby, she's emotional, hot,

446
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:25,160
Speaker 1: and sick. She's not I understand that. That's why when

447
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 1: we have our little debates, so I'll tell you how

448
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 1: I feel and you don't care, and you get pissed.

449
00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:31,119
Speaker 1: I don't care. I don't I'm not gonna get mad

450
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 1: about it. I'm gonna just give you a time and

451
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,000
Speaker 1: let you come back. But one thing I'm not gonna

452
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,359
Speaker 1: do is are you and go back and forth with

453
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,680
Speaker 1: you when when it comes to some of these things,

454
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you vent because I know you know

455
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:42,600
Speaker 1: what it is now, I know what it is. Half

456
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:46,159
Speaker 1: the time you miss me, I do miss my wife

457
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 1: like miss he misses me Cadine minus the belly. I mean,

458
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 1: what's your favorite cadein hi drunk cade? Okay? And those

459
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:58,159
Speaker 1: are two things that I can't partake him in the stage.

460
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 1: So understand that you missed me, and it's okay. And

461
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 1: a lot of times I'll have to be like you know,

462
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:06,879
Speaker 1: a babe there there, bring it in. I know you

463
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 1: missed me. I missed you too. If you want me

464
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 1: to be apologetic about missing my wife, the person I'm

465
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 1: supposed to spend the rest of my life with for

466
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 1: for nine to ten months, I'm not gonna be no

467
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:22,440
Speaker 1: apologize I missed my wife. I appreciate that too, because

468
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:26,600
Speaker 1: here we are just about nineteen, it's almost almost nineteen

469
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,919
Speaker 1: years in and you still want to rock with me,

470
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,359
Speaker 1: and I exactly that, And then I in turn sometimes

471
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 1: feel bad like damn, I can't even be what you

472
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:35,440
Speaker 1: need me to be. In But that's and that's where

473
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,560
Speaker 1: that's where there's no debate here. And that's what I

474
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 1: want young men or men who who are having babies

475
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,439
Speaker 1: for the first time to understand that this does not last.

476
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:50,920
Speaker 1: Like the arguing, the not seeing eye to eye, the hormones,

477
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 1: the emotions, that all this stuff does not last. It stops.

478
00:25:55,040 --> 00:26:00,359
Speaker 1: It stops, like and first trimester. For those first twelve weeks,

479
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,880
Speaker 1: it's gonna be high. Once you get to the second trimester.

480
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 1: For the most part, some people's pregnancies are different. You,

481
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,480
Speaker 1: for for one, go back to normal as if you're

482
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:12,360
Speaker 1: almost not pregnant. So for those three months in between,

483
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:16,440
Speaker 1: we'd be having why would be nice? Be really really good?

484
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 1: And then when we're gonna talk about this later and

485
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,399
Speaker 1: we get to the third trial mester, it goes back

486
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,199
Speaker 1: because that's when you're at your motor your highest, like

487
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 1: the emotions are really there. But I think that it's

488
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 1: important for young men and young women to understand that

489
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:33,919
Speaker 1: these emotions you're feeling with your significant other that um,

490
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 1: I don't want to say that resentment, but that feeling

491
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 1: like she he or she is not how they used

492
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,919
Speaker 1: to be. She's changing too much, he doesn't that's normal,

493
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. I think it's awful people

494
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,240
Speaker 1: to know that. And it doesn't stop because then once

495
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 1: the baby comes, there's like the fourth that people people

496
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 1: don't talk about that post part and part and you know,

497
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 1: we're all gonna do a podcast about the fourth trimester.

498
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:56,960
Speaker 1: We do plan on doing it because that one in particular.

499
00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:01,040
Speaker 1: Really a lot of marriages change in the fourth trimester

500
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,160
Speaker 1: because they don't expect it. They expect when the baby

501
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 1: comes that everything goes back to normal. But there's so

502
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:09,239
Speaker 1: much more that goes into it. But um, I do

503
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 1: have another question for you about the first trimester. If

504
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 1: you had to rate the trimesters from good too bad,

505
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 1: would the first trimester be the worst? Well, the second words,

506
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 1: because I know the second is the best one, is

507
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,680
Speaker 1: that which one is worth the first of the third

508
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,320
Speaker 1: trial mester? I think for me it's the first. It's

509
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,359
Speaker 1: like that that's the worst for me at least because

510
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,359
Speaker 1: even though it's like, you know, I don't have a

511
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,880
Speaker 1: belly per se or my hips aren't aching it and

512
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 1: I'm not getting that pubic bone pressure and all that,

513
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:44,919
Speaker 1: I think the first is the worst for me just

514
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:47,640
Speaker 1: because of like that that naga sickness fatigue that I get,

515
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:49,879
Speaker 1: like I literally feel like I'm a zombie, like I

516
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:54,040
Speaker 1: cannot function. Um, I just want to be locked away.

517
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,679
Speaker 1: I even said to you ingest, but like for real though,

518
00:27:56,880 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 1: like ship me to like Jamaica, that for try myself,

519
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 1: let me go, let me go away, let me go

520
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:03,240
Speaker 1: to the island, send me to sat Vincent, sent me

521
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,640
Speaker 1: somewhere for those first three months. That way I can

522
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 1: just like be to myself, not make anybody else miserable

523
00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 1: because I feel miserable in that moment. The work for you,

524
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 1: because then you would you would feel guilt like I

525
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 1: was away from my family. And because you always say

526
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 1: that you feel like in that first time And a

527
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:23,919
Speaker 1: lot of this is emotions because those hormones are kicking in.

528
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,880
Speaker 1: She cries for everything. You know, everything makes her over

529
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:30,239
Speaker 1: the top. You often feel like because you can't do

530
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:35,200
Speaker 1: the things that are you feel like you're feeling. That's

531
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 1: true because I wouldn't want to be um away from

532
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,800
Speaker 1: you guys. Trying to find the happy medium. It's like,

533
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 1: for example, still trying to cook for the family and

534
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:47,720
Speaker 1: having severe versions to any smells while remember that I

535
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 1: was trying to trying to make dinner for the kids.

536
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 1: You know, they wanted to shrimp fetishing the offered or whatever.

537
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 1: So in making it, literally midway through, it's like the

538
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 1: smell of the garlic hit and I'm like running to

539
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 1: the bathroom. And one time I missed it and poor Jackson,

540
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 1: poor Jackson had to help me clean up like vomit.

541
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,960
Speaker 1: All three boys were like looking at me like you

542
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 1: know what that is. But I don't want them more.

543
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 1: We don't want Albreda anymore. Well, here's here's the thing too.

544
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 1: I want to ask you what what would you say

545
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 1: guys can do to help their partner go through the

546
00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 1: first timester what? What what could you say? Would be? Um?

547
00:29:26,520 --> 00:29:29,600
Speaker 1: I would say if you can just figure out like

548
00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 1: it's almost like a get in where you fit in situation.

549
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 1: That's what got us in this situation. But to shake.

550
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,960
Speaker 1: But you literally like where can you be of help?

551
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:41,920
Speaker 1: Where can you be of assistance? Where can you take

552
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:44,480
Speaker 1: off a load where that's one less thing to have

553
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 1: to worry about, for example, like with you, you know

554
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 1: that sleep is very important to me at that point

555
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,040
Speaker 1: in time. So sometimes you're like, all right, guys, even

556
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,320
Speaker 1: if if mommy falls asleep. We're going to have a

557
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 1: movie night with the kids, and they'll at least be near,

558
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 1: we can cuddle. Mommy's gonna be sleep. But at least

559
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 1: it's something that may me still feel like, all right,

560
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 1: I'm a part of the family, engaging in sometimes because

561
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 1: you don't want to be isolated alone. You don't I

562
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 1: don't want to be isolated from you, and like to

563
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 1: just figure out where you fit in where there's a

564
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 1: deficit and see how you can just make it that

565
00:30:13,840 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 1: much easier. Like there's just so much for a level

566
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,520
Speaker 1: of understanding that you can't quite understand, because you will

567
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 1: never be able to walk in our shoes and actually

568
00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 1: carry a child. But I think if you had that

569
00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 1: level of understanding and you're just like, you know what,

570
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let her rock because I just don't quite

571
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:33,719
Speaker 1: understand and it's uncharted territory for me. But clearly something's

572
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:36,640
Speaker 1: happening here because there's a major change happening, you know.

573
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 1: I think if you allow that grace, you know, that

574
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 1: would be probably the biggest thing, the biggest thing to

575
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 1: help as a guy, you know, when you have someone

576
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,480
Speaker 1: that's having your baby. So y'all want to know how

577
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 1: I got through this fourth pregnancy. Because you was asking

578
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 1: me mad questions. I was about to ask you. First

579
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 1: of all, I wanted to hear a woman's perspective agree,

580
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:00,080
Speaker 1: And I think that's very important, especially for guy's that

581
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 1: are listening and stuff, you know, because we have a

582
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 1: mixed audience, so it's definitely important to hear that and

583
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 1: my perspective. Um. But for you, um, you know, you

584
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 1: were definitely gung ho about having a fourth child, knowing

585
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 1: fully what was gonna be, you know, a part of that.

586
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,400
Speaker 1: So that being said, you felt like it was still

587
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 1: worth it to have another baby? Absolutely? Why that, um?

588
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,360
Speaker 1: Because I know pregnancy doesn't last forever. And I also, like,

589
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:33,960
Speaker 1: I'm a vet now this is our fourth pregnancy. I've

590
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 1: learned too, and this is important young men and young

591
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 1: women to understand this. Go into pregnancy with no expectations.

592
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 1: Do not expect the child's mother to be able to

593
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 1: do any of the things that she typically does on

594
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 1: a daily basis, because you don't know how she's gonna feel.

595
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:54,320
Speaker 1: You don't know she's going to be nauseous, fatigued, irritable,

596
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 1: And if you go into these situations expecting that will

597
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,760
Speaker 1: she'll still be able to do this. That's how you

598
00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 1: get disappointed because you don't know what to expect as

599
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 1: long as you go into pregnancy. No one that, hey,

600
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,800
Speaker 1: I made this choice to create a life with this woman,

601
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 1: and don't put any expectations on her. You can't be disappointed.

602
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,479
Speaker 1: And when you're not disappointed, you're able to wake up

603
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 1: every day and be excited about what the day is

604
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 1: to come because now you know that you know this

605
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 1: is what I'm ready for. On top of that, be

606
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 1: prepared to, like you said, getting where you fit in.

607
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 1: No take over a lot of things. There were a

608
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 1: lot of things that I typically don't take care of

609
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 1: and don't handle that during that first trimester, I just

610
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 1: took over from her because I didn't want her to

611
00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 1: struggle trying to do it and not do it well

612
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 1: and then feel bad about it. Um Codeine has she

613
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 1: she gets very guilty, and she feels like if she

614
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 1: can't do stuff to the hundred percent, that she's not

615
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 1: good at all doing anything. And she also feels like

616
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 1: if she does something wrong one time, she's never done

617
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 1: it ever right before, so and you have to understand that.

618
00:32:56,960 --> 00:33:00,680
Speaker 1: Coupled that mentality with the fact that she's emotional and hormonal.

619
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:03,920
Speaker 1: It can be depressed. Control over that can be depressing

620
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 1: a young lady. So you have to know that this

621
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 1: is what I'm I'm signing up for. And and that's

622
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 1: the man part of it. You know what I'm saying.

623
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 1: You don't get an escape from the time you get

624
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 1: you become pregnant. You have no escape from that until

625
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 1: the baby, and there's only one exit. There's only one.

626
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 1: I've been having some anxiety lately because I was like,

627
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 1: listen to that. I have moments. It just hits me

628
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,360
Speaker 1: randomly throughout these seven months so far. I think it's

629
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 1: as my belly girls and the baby's growing and I'm

630
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 1: seeing like this a whole that's human being in there.

631
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 1: There's only one way out, and that gives me severe

632
00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 1: anxiety because I was like, wait a second, I have

633
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 1: to Then I start to get flashbacks of like labor

634
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 1: and birth and all that, and that's a whole another thing.

635
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 1: Like I was literally crying the other day because I

636
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:50,120
Speaker 1: was just like, I can't believe I'm doing this again,

637
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 1: and there's one way out. And as a man, and

638
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,480
Speaker 1: as a man, I never have to experience that, which

639
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 1: is why you have to maturity and experience teaches you

640
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,560
Speaker 1: how to deal with all of these other things because

641
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:02,240
Speaker 1: don't got to do with that fact. But devil has

642
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 1: his moments, y'are he not really that mature? Three times

643
00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 1: Val wants to hit me in the gym. You know,

644
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,000
Speaker 1: I'm walking high inclined on the treadmill, get my little

645
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:13,799
Speaker 1: workout and trying to get my heart rate up for

646
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:16,800
Speaker 1: my thirty minutes. Then this guy wants to be like, babe,

647
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:21,680
Speaker 1: how's my abs looking? Like I didn't do that. It's

648
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 1: my back fat still. I said, you know what, I'm

649
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:25,879
Speaker 1: gonna give him some grace because I understand that he's

650
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 1: still working. He's a working actor, and you know, he

651
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 1: has to maintain his physique. But sometimes it's a little

652
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:35,000
Speaker 1: difficult to hear when you don't ask you, pregnant wife,

653
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:37,680
Speaker 1: pregnant wife, how your ads looking. Don't don't do that.

654
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:39,960
Speaker 1: That's a trigger that triggers them. Don't don't do that.

655
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 1: I was like, yours look great, let's talk about you. Yeah, waves, waves,

656
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 1: that's going now. I've got no more waves. You know,

657
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 1: wan't got no more waves for pregnancy. A lot of

658
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: the stress that I take off of her, you know,

659
00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 1: where it goes to my follicles. My follicles is dissipated.

660
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 1: They going, they ain't even get still. The hairline still

661
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 1: tight though. As long as I got my hairline, I'm good. Yeah,

662
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:06,400
Speaker 1: nothing A little filler wouldn't He's all right, But you

663
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:09,840
Speaker 1: know I'm a rock with that. But um no, I

664
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:12,839
Speaker 1: just the first time mess is a beast. I just

665
00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 1: I just really want people to understand that as as

666
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,440
Speaker 1: a man, you have to understand what comes with it.

667
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 1: And I'll be joking. I call it she all the time, like, oh,

668
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 1: here comes to bitch, and she'd be like, don't call me,

669
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 1: no fing bitch. Different? Why I sound like yo? Her

670
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:31,799
Speaker 1: voice get mad deep though I love how, I love

671
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:34,719
Speaker 1: how I have mad different voices. Sometimes I sound like

672
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 1: I don't know, Like do you know yourself? I don't

673
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 1: think you know yourself. You have never been married to yourself,

674
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:42,239
Speaker 1: so you don't know what I go through in here.

675
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 1: It's like an exorcism in here. Sometimes I don't me

676
00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:47,839
Speaker 1: and the kids, the kids know to ask them asking

677
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 1: about Codeine's multiple personalities. You live in the alternate universe.

678
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: No niverse, you live in the alternate universe. I don't understand.

679
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:59,000
Speaker 1: That's like, well, clearly you understand something because you're still here.

680
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:04,080
Speaker 1: So nine a year strong, October three, twenty o two.

681
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,920
Speaker 1: You struggling just now to the brain. That's the real thing,

682
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 1: to y'all, baby brain. So there's just so many things

683
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 1: happening at one time. But you know, we're rocking out.

684
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 1: I'm excited. First mess was down, so we're gonna walk

685
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 1: out through this process. But first we'll have to take

686
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,280
Speaker 1: a break, pay some bills, and when we get back,

687
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:28,439
Speaker 1: we're gonna speak to some of y'all. Ka's favorite part

688
00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:30,440
Speaker 1: of this show. I know. I usually actually missed this

689
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,920
Speaker 1: whenever we're like on our little hiatus and we come back.

690
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:35,600
Speaker 1: I miss having our listening letters because I want to

691
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:37,279
Speaker 1: see what's going on with y'all. I mean, if we're

692
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 1: sharing what's going on with us, it's only right that

693
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,759
Speaker 1: we get up in your business a little bit. So

694
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 1: we'll be back, all right, So we're back listener letter time,

695
00:36:56,719 --> 00:37:00,320
Speaker 1: or I'll have missed these, all right. I'll read number

696
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:03,520
Speaker 1: one since I'm so excited. I've been watching you guys,

697
00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:05,760
Speaker 1: and it brings me joy and it's inspiring to watch.

698
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 1: Thank you. I have been married for eleven years. August

699
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 1: fifteen will make twelve years. Me and my husband's family

700
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:17,800
Speaker 1: is not close. We used to to be. Still, Okay,

701
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:21,920
Speaker 1: you don't you don't like periods because this is a

702
00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:28,880
Speaker 1: real long all right, let's go to dial this back. No,

703
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 1: it's literally just now clearly here we are first time. Um,

704
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 1: not as close as we used to be. I had

705
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 1: three miscarriages and and got shot three years ago. Oh

706
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:47,439
Speaker 1: my goodness. Please some kind of way we're gonna blame

707
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,719
Speaker 1: it on the baby brain, yeah, please, But no, I'm

708
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:52,880
Speaker 1: starting to feel sad for her. She's a lot of stories.

709
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,200
Speaker 1: This is the story she said. My mom passed away

710
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:58,880
Speaker 1: June twelve, just buried her in July. I'm just asking

711
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 1: how I can get over the suppress. I want to

712
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:02,760
Speaker 1: start trying again for my baby. Me and my husband

713
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:04,719
Speaker 1: for two years was not doing good. But now we

714
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:07,400
Speaker 1: are trying to make it, make it work. He is

715
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:09,480
Speaker 1: listening to me more, and I'm listening to him more too,

716
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:12,880
Speaker 1: and talking. But I have been depressed. What can I

717
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 1: do well? It's the first thing. The fact that you

718
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 1: said you and your husband are working together and listening

719
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 1: and communicating. That step number one, Because most most issues

720
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:29,439
Speaker 1: in any relationship, whether it's marriage, friendship, business, all start

721
00:38:29,480 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 1: to splinter because of miscommunication. It's not even because or

722
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 1: lack or lack thereof. It's not even because of wrong doings.

723
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 1: It's because, oh, this person was doing this, So I thought,

724
00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 1: you don't have to think when you communicate. So the

725
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:46,719
Speaker 1: fact that they're speaking and working towards it together, I

726
00:38:46,719 --> 00:38:49,279
Speaker 1: think is the first step. The second thing is she

727
00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 1: has to admit her depression to her husband. I hope

728
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:54,719
Speaker 1: that she has admitted this to her husband and trying

729
00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:57,359
Speaker 1: to get help. I mean, therapy is always the thing

730
00:38:57,360 --> 00:39:00,200
Speaker 1: that I'm an advocate for. You know, some people rely

731
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 1: on different forms of therapy. We've also even you know,

732
00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 1: spoken about better help, which is on one of our

733
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:10,239
Speaker 1: sponsors here, So professional help. You have to kind of

734
00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 1: seek that sometimes. But you have been through a lot

735
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 1: three miscarriages, you were shotting and robbery, and your mom

736
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:16,799
Speaker 1: passed away, soide, that's a lot of different events that

737
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:20,400
Speaker 1: couldn't totally trigger that. Um So, yeah, I try to

738
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:22,840
Speaker 1: and I'm happy to see that her and her husband

739
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 1: are still together, still working on things, you know what

740
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 1: I mean, after the past two years. Um So, I

741
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:29,320
Speaker 1: think you're on the right track. Maybe just getting a

742
00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:32,839
Speaker 1: little professional help, my help, um to kind of see

743
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 1: how you can get out of this slump that you're in.

744
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:38,839
Speaker 1: And I wish you guys well, you know, miscarriages are

745
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:42,720
Speaker 1: not easy either, um. And I think once your body

746
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 1: is kind of healed mentally, physically, um, emotionally, then it'll

747
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:49,040
Speaker 1: kind of be the powerhouse that a baby needs to

748
00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 1: thrive and grow in, because trying to be pregnant in

749
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:54,400
Speaker 1: a in a position like this when you're depressed is

750
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:57,160
Speaker 1: probably also to not the easiest thing either. And I

751
00:39:57,160 --> 00:39:58,680
Speaker 1: think also you just have to make a choice to

752
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:01,080
Speaker 1: wake up and this side that you're going to be

753
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:03,880
Speaker 1: in a better space mentally. You know a lot of

754
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 1: times people are looking for something else to pull them

755
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:09,120
Speaker 1: out of that, and realistically, there's nothing that can pull

756
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 1: you out of that. You have to pull you out

757
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 1: of that. So wake up in the morning and make

758
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:14,719
Speaker 1: a decision that you want to be better, and then

759
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:16,839
Speaker 1: try to find things to make you feel better. Yeah.

760
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 1: I think at this point maybe she's had ample time

761
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:21,320
Speaker 1: to grieve those losses. So good luck to you is

762
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:23,799
Speaker 1: if bang number two I got you baby, all right,

763
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:27,440
Speaker 1: you just chill with your little pregnant self. Alright, you

764
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:30,640
Speaker 1: two over there, I'm doing the podcast. It's the first

765
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 1: child doing the podcast with yes, yes baby boy. Alright,

766
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 1: hey guys. First thing first, I love you. We love

767
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:41,480
Speaker 1: you too. Okay, so here's my little problem. Boom. This

768
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:44,880
Speaker 1: person is from New York. Check checking. My boyfriend of

769
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,959
Speaker 1: three years. We broke up once. We broke up once,

770
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:51,440
Speaker 1: but remain friends but still did. The usual is getting

771
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 1: but still did the usually. God damnit, people, let me

772
00:40:56,080 --> 00:41:03,000
Speaker 1: explain something to you, pussa. It's very import but we

773
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:07,800
Speaker 1: still remain friends. Still we did. The usual is getting

774
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:11,239
Speaker 1: fake married in order to help someone get their citizenship?

775
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:15,000
Speaker 1: Is that the usual? I mean all right, I just

776
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:19,840
Speaker 1: found out weeks eight weeks pregnant, and I'm stuck and

777
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 1: don't know what to do. So let me read this

778
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:28,239
Speaker 1: all over again. Boom, my boyfriend of three years. We

779
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 1: broke up once, but remained friends, but still did. The

780
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:34,280
Speaker 1: usual is getting fake married in order to help someone

781
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:38,280
Speaker 1: get their citizenship. I just found out eight weeks pregnant,

782
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:41,120
Speaker 1: and I'm stuck and don't know what to do. Okay,

783
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 1: So what I'm trying to decipher here is is she pregnant?

784
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:45,239
Speaker 1: For the person that she married for the citizenship or

785
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:47,359
Speaker 1: is she pregnant for her boyfriend? So what I'm thinking

786
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 1: is Boom her boyfriend of three years they broke up

787
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,839
Speaker 1: but friends, but since they friends, he was like, YO,

788
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 1: married me, so I get my citizenship boyfriend, right, which

789
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:03,440
Speaker 1: she did, but then got pregnant. Now one person. So

790
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,799
Speaker 1: now she's pregnant and married to the same dude that

791
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:09,480
Speaker 1: was Boom once her boyfriend, but now Boom about to

792
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 1: be her baby daddy, her husband. She says, I'm stuck.

793
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:20,319
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do mean either, like you stuck? MA? Like,

794
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 1: uh so, where are we stuck? Are we stuck with

795
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:26,520
Speaker 1: wanting to have this baby or not have this baby?

796
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:29,480
Speaker 1: Are we stuck with wanting to be married? Or are

797
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 1: you married? Because you said they got married fake married

798
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:36,640
Speaker 1: for the citizenship? Right? So is this like a fake love,

799
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:39,280
Speaker 1: fake relationship? Are we rocking with him because we really

800
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 1: like him even though you guys were dating. You might

801
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:44,040
Speaker 1: need the sense of clarity, Sis, no, no, no, I

802
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:45,959
Speaker 1: got this. I got to check this. Watch me break

803
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:50,440
Speaker 1: this down. Find out exactly how long you got to

804
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:53,799
Speaker 1: be married for the citizenship to stay in place? All right?

805
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 1: Once you find that out, you make a decision about

806
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:00,560
Speaker 1: the rest of your life based on you in jail,

807
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 1: because if you get caught get married for your citizenship,

808
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,000
Speaker 1: one you can go to jail. Number two, you can

809
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:09,640
Speaker 1: be deported. And those are two things you don't want

810
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 1: to figure those two things out first. After that, make

811
00:43:14,239 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 1: a decision of whether you want to keep the baby,

812
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:22,839
Speaker 1: because that's also a woman's choice, and stay married. I

813
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 1: can't tell you what to do. I can't tell you

814
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:27,719
Speaker 1: what's best for you. Only you know. What I will

815
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 1: tell you is this, don't get that as deported and

816
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 1: don't get that as locked up. So figure those two

817
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:36,120
Speaker 1: things out first and then make a decision for yourself.

818
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:38,279
Speaker 1: That's a fact. Or you can send some clarity our

819
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:40,759
Speaker 1: way and let us know we can further because we're

820
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:44,200
Speaker 1: guessing right now. We don't know what's really happened. Impossible

821
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,800
Speaker 1: situation and some hypotheticals, but it sounds like something that

822
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 1: will be sisters. It does, it does. This is definitely

823
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 1: handy pregnant, and they really made a fake married because

824
00:43:56,120 --> 00:44:05,200
Speaker 1: Gary ain't really a citizen. Oh plot twist. I like

825
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 1: the little plug for your show. It was cute. It

826
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:09,439
Speaker 1: was cute. I'll watch every Wednesday, not p n B two.

827
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:12,880
Speaker 1: There you go, Zach Team Zack teams a team up.

828
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:14,680
Speaker 1: Al Right, well, if you want to be featured as

829
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:16,760
Speaker 1: one of our listener letters, y'all, make sure you email

830
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 1: us at dead as sid Advice at gmail dot com.

831
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:21,239
Speaker 1: That's d E A D A S S A d

832
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:27,000
Speaker 1: v I C at gmail dot com. C E, you

833
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:30,200
Speaker 1: missed the miss you missed the Let me try that

834
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:33,560
Speaker 1: one more time. Wound. That's d E A D A

835
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 1: S S A d V I C E at Gmail.

836
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,560
Speaker 1: There you go. You can't be talking to people punctuation

837
00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 1: and whatnot and then you're spelling it. Just in case

838
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 1: when your pregnant wife tell you didn't say to rewind

839
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:48,719
Speaker 1: the tape, you just say the rewind the tape. Learn

840
00:44:48,800 --> 00:44:52,360
Speaker 1: how to say this whatever you want, babe. It's my

841
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:55,880
Speaker 1: favorite words. It's my favorite phrase, all right, Moment of

842
00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:59,080
Speaker 1: truth time phrases. Yes, let us know what your moment

843
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:05,000
Speaker 1: of baby, moment of truth. I know, I know, I

844
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:06,520
Speaker 1: know a moment of truth. Right, So, dealing with the

845
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:12,759
Speaker 1: first trimester, pregnancy and all that um through every trimester,

846
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:16,239
Speaker 1: and of course we're talking about the first um. Just

847
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:20,560
Speaker 1: gratitude is something that I always try to remember because, um,

848
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:23,239
Speaker 1: like I said at the end of last season, you know,

849
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:25,839
Speaker 1: thinking of people who are trying to conceive or having

850
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:27,879
Speaker 1: issues and things like that, sometimes you kind of feel

851
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:31,160
Speaker 1: insensitive when you complain about being in the moment, you

852
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Um, but I do feel like

853
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:36,240
Speaker 1: you can coexist in the space of gratitude but also

854
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:39,080
Speaker 1: being truthful and being honest about how you feel and

855
00:45:39,120 --> 00:45:41,280
Speaker 1: about the changes that are taking place in your body.

856
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:44,399
Speaker 1: So I never wanted to be misconstrued where it's just like, well,

857
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 1: you x to be pregnant again, you wanted this again,

858
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:48,719
Speaker 1: You've prayed for this baby. You know you and your

859
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 1: husband planned this out, and here y'all are complaining. I

860
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:53,800
Speaker 1: just want to make clear that people know this is

861
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:56,680
Speaker 1: not a session to complain or to be a bitch

862
00:45:56,680 --> 00:46:00,440
Speaker 1: and moan, but it's rather to share the truth about it,

863
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 1: to share our experience, because we know the record has shown,

864
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:05,680
Speaker 1: at least in our podcast, that we're not the ones

865
00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:08,520
Speaker 1: that feel not the only ones that feel the way

866
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:11,399
Speaker 1: we feel regardless of the topic. We've had so many

867
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 1: people that have reached out to say, you guys have

868
00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:15,360
Speaker 1: saved my marriage or I'm so happy to know that

869
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:17,720
Speaker 1: I'm not the only one that feels this way. So

870
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:21,160
Speaker 1: it's it's okay to exist in the space of gratitude

871
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 1: while simultaneously being truthful and being honest about the way

872
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:28,719
Speaker 1: you feel in the moment being pregnant. So that's my

873
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:33,480
Speaker 1: moment of truth for today. That well, my moment of truth.

874
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:37,359
Speaker 1: Um first and start and start. I want to go

875
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:43,040
Speaker 1: back to this is our rainbow baby. Before last year

876
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:47,000
Speaker 1: this time, we had lost um a child right after

877
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:51,360
Speaker 1: trying to conceive in the summertime. So with that being said,

878
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 1: it puts things into perspective. Your wife is gonna be tired,

879
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:59,040
Speaker 1: she's going to be irritable, um, she's going to be

880
00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 1: in a bad mood, she's gonna be nauseous. But there

881
00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:05,520
Speaker 1: are so many people who can't conceive and who can't

882
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 1: carry babies full term. As a as a man, I

883
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 1: feel honored that my wife can. So anything that my

884
00:47:12,480 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 1: wife is going through, I take pride in knowing that

885
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:20,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna help her through that process, even if it

886
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 1: can be annoying and and not for nothing. Another moment

887
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:26,719
Speaker 1: of truth. It's okay, young man or older man who's

888
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 1: having a baby the first time to feel a little annoyed,

889
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:33,080
Speaker 1: but knowing that it's your job because you're you're human.

890
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 1: And I know some of you guys watch me on

891
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:37,160
Speaker 1: social media and I show me having a good time

892
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:39,720
Speaker 1: with my kids and enjoying pregnancy. And I do enjoy

893
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:42,880
Speaker 1: my wife and and my my family. But if you

894
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:46,880
Speaker 1: ever feel like you don't always feel at your best

895
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:50,560
Speaker 1: because you don't understand something, don't feel like you're less standing. Man.

896
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:53,720
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying because I have those same feelings.

897
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:55,480
Speaker 1: Sometimes I wake up and I just feel like they

898
00:47:55,560 --> 00:47:58,680
Speaker 1: am I in the mood to be extra jovial today,

899
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:02,000
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes I'm going through my own things. So um,

900
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:05,759
Speaker 1: pick your pick your moments where you need to be

901
00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:09,000
Speaker 1: honest with your wife or your significant otherwise she's pregnant,

902
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:11,359
Speaker 1: let him know how you feel. But it is your

903
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:15,319
Speaker 1: responsibility to carry the burden of the emotional toll of

904
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:17,240
Speaker 1: having a baby's going to have on your wife, especially

905
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:19,920
Speaker 1: in the first trimester. That is your only job. You

906
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:22,320
Speaker 1: can't carry the baby, you can't give your wife a break.

907
00:48:22,680 --> 00:48:25,200
Speaker 1: So bro, you just gotta deal with it. That's my

908
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:27,279
Speaker 1: moment of truth. Deal with that ship. It will get

909
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 1: better and you will reap the benefits ten months later,

910
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:35,839
Speaker 1: that's a fact. Yes, good job, Ellen's stap me up. Yes,

911
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 1: So I'm happy to be back. I'm happy to be

912
00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 1: back to And it was almost the thing where we

913
00:48:39,120 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 1: were kind of watching the calendar and we're like, oh, shoot,

914
00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 1: we gotta come back so we can give you all

915
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:45,279
Speaker 1: some stuff to listen to it to watch while I

916
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:48,640
Speaker 1: go ahead this baby, how about that? So be sure

917
00:48:48,680 --> 00:48:50,799
Speaker 1: to follow us y'all on social media. We also do

918
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:53,520
Speaker 1: little little things there as well, or you can kind

919
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 1: of keep up with us on a day to day basis. Um.

920
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,520
Speaker 1: But of course that as the podcast and I'm Cadine,

921
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:00,560
Speaker 1: I am and I am devouted. If you're listening on

922
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 1: Apple podcasts, be sure to rate, review, and subscribe, y'all.

923
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:10,000
Speaker 1: We're dead Ass is a production of I Heart Media

924
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:14,080
Speaker 1: podcast Network and is produced by Dinorapinia and Triple Follow

925
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:16,880
Speaker 1: the podcast on social media at dead as to Podcasts

926
00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:17,879
Speaker 1: and never miss a Thing